Falling-Out
by waitwhathuh
Summary: Life has its ups, but it also has its downs. As Cat and Tori are about to find out, sometimes when it rains it pours. Difficult times are ahead, but maybe they can find the support of each other to get through. A classic "love conquers all" kind of tale. Cori. Caution: Story includes graphic depictions of sexual assault.
1. Battlefeild

**Author's Notes: Guys! Welcome to my new story! It's uh... pretty ambitious. You'll see. It won't seem like it at first but... this story contains a lot of dark themes at times, as well as humour and tons of romance (eventually). Anyway, just start the adventure.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or her characters. Yes I just gave a TV show a female pro-noun. It's like a ship. **

* * *

"-Which brings us to expressionism. Evidence of the artistic movement started to appear during the late 9th century to early 20th century. Not to be confused with surrealism, expressionism in theatre was all about transcending the imagination and boundaries. This would mean that many expressionist plays would deal with spiritual journeys and dream-like situations…"

Yawn. I wish I was in a dream-like state right now. Well, I sort of am. I always am. I'm Cat Valentine, and I'm in a pretty constant state of spacey-ness. Like now, for example. I'm in a Theatre in Culture class, and it's pretty boring. Not that I don't think different forms of theatre aren't important! I love theatre! That's why I go to Hollywood Arts. I just wish the teacher was teaching it in a more exciting way. Like singing songs about expressionism. And then she gives us cotton candy. Am I drooling? Oh no, wipe your mouth Cat. Good, I don't think anybody noticed. The teacher is insanely smart, though. Sometimes I wonder if she'll get too smart during a lesson and her brain will over-flow out her ears. Gross. I think that's more absurdist theatre, though. Ha ha ha ha! See, it's not that I don't understand what she's talking about. A lot of people think I'm stupid, which hurts my feelings because academically I do very well. But Jade once told me I'm socially dumb. She's mean. But she's probably right. That doesn't mean she has to say it! Anyway, I understand the subject matter. I'm just bored. And spacey. And I really just want to draw unicorns and eat cotton candy and-

My thoughts are interrupted by a sudden presence on my shoulder. I'm aware of Andre sitting behind me so I don't get too startled. I turn my head and see a note sitting on my shoulder. I take it and open it.

_Lil Red –_

_You, me, Jade, Beck, Robbie (maybe Rex), Tori –Laser Tag tonight. _

_You down?_

_- Andre_

I have to stop myself from clapping wildly. Laser Tag sounds super fun! I start nodding vigorously at the note – oops! Silly Cat, the note can't tell Andre that I nodded! I wait until the teacher turns her back to us to write a point on the board before I turn to Andre and give him the nod directly. I add a huge smile for effect. He gives me a thumbs up. I turn back around and try to keep myself from bouncing in excitement. Tonight will be so much fun!

* * *

When the bell rung signalling the end of the day, I ran to my locker as fast as I could. I'm putting all my books away when I hear someone next to me.

"Hey, Cat!"

I turn with an ecstatic smile on my face. "Tori!" I exclaim before jumping on her with a hug. "I missed you!"

"We just had class together this morning! And then we saw each other at lunch…" Tori reasons with a laugh. I pull away and don't wipe off my smile. Of course I'm happy to see Tori again, at any time! She's super nice, and she's my best friend!

"I know, but I haven't seen you since then! Anything could've happened in that time." I ponder. My eyes go wide with wonderment at all the possibilities. "Anything."

Tori gives me an incredulous look before shaking her head with a smile. "Well, nothing exciting happened that would've changed me. I'm still the same old Tori." She reassures. My face fell a little bit.

"Nothing exciting happened?" I pout. She looked taken aback.

"No, not really. Just school. Why?" She eyes me with concern.

"But I thought you were invited to go to laser tag. And if you were invited, you would've had something exciting happen." I'm genuinely worried. I don't want Tori to be left out! Tori gives a look of relief.

"Aww, Cat, of course I was invited! Sorry, I guess something exciting did happen. That's why I came over, actually. I just talked to Andre and we're going to go straight there, play a few games, have some pizza and then go home. He wanted to sort out carpooling and stuff. Trina's sick today, so I have the car… guess who you're riding with!" Tori teases. I decide to joke around with her a bit.

"Oooh, Robbie?" I ask. She shakes her head. "Beck and Jade? Andre?" She continues to shake her head, fighting to urge to laugh by biting her lip. I lower my voice. "…Rex?" I whisper. She bursts out laughing at that.

"I'm not sure if he can reach the pedals. No, silly, you're riding with me!" She chuckles. I laugh and give her a huge smile before jumping on her with another hug.

"Yay, Tori!" I cheer. This is why she's my best friend. I love the way we can joke around, even if I'm a bit of a space cadet.

"Alright, alright! Grab your stuff and let's go." Tori says. I nod and let go of her and stuff the remaining books into my bag. I throw it over my shoulder close my locker and skip away toward the entrance of the school. I hear Tori chuckle behind me as she tries to keep up.

* * *

The car ride was fun. I'm pretty sure I just talked the entire time about how my brother joined the military once, with real guns. But then he ended up on military probation because he stole a bunch of food and tried to create a gun that shoots chicken. Or maybe it was a video game. I couldn't remember. Tori didn't seem to mind my rambling, so that's good. She just smiled the whole time, even though I'm sure I was being obnoxious.

Anyway, now we're in the "arsenal" room of the laser tag establishment. The room is full of black light, so when we smile it looks like we brushed our teeth constantly for weeks and now they're all sparkly white. There's some neon paint splotches decorating the otherwise black walls where a bunch of flashing guns and vests with sensors of many sizes were hung up. I skip excitedly over to one of the small sizes and slip it on. I laugh as I point the multi-coloured flashing gun around. I wouldn't do this with a real gun. Real guns are scary. But this is fine, it's just for fun! I hear Robbie next to me grumbling.

"I can't believe they wouldn't let me bring Rex in." Robbie complains. Beck walks over and claps Robbie on the shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. They just know that it would be unfair because Rex would wipe the competition." Beck reassures.

"I can't tell if you're humouring me or not." Robbie gives Beck a confused look. At least I think it was a confused look. It's a little dark. Beck just laughs and claps Robbie on the shoulder again before walking away. At this point, the door opens to the arsenal and these three big guys walk in. I mean BIG. The guy in front of them looks very well built. I can't tell much more than that. They're all wearing black and are joking around and shoving each other. They immediately go for some specific extra-large vests on the wall. I gulp. They seem familiar with the game. Robbie notices, too. "Holy geez," He whispers, "Why do we have to play against the terminators? I'm glad this game doesn't involve any physical contact."

"Hey, it'll be fun! I don't mind a challenge." Andre pipes up. He **would** like a challenge! Andre has told us before about his high scores in laser tag. I've played once before, and I wasn't very good. But it was still very fun!

Other than the six of us and the three big guys, there were four giggling pre-teen girls who seemed to be there for a birthday party, and two older men who seemed to be in their 30's. That made me smile. I hope that I can still allow myself to do childish things when I'm that old!

"You excited?" Tori asks coming over to me. She has her vest on too and she's all flashy. Ha ha! Flashy.

"So excited! I can't wait to start!" I grin at her. She laughs.

"Me too! I've never done this before." She admits.

"What? Never?" I gasp. She shakes her head (I think).

"Don't worry, Vega, it's simple. Just shoot everything in sight. Shoot to kill." Jade cuts in.

"That sounds very graphic." Tori comments.

"I wish." Jade sneers. She can be scary sometimes. "By the way, you and Cat-bait are going down this game. I have it out for you. You won't even be able to shoot anyone because your equipment will be constantly shut down." She threatens. For anyone else who hasn't played laser tag, your vest and laser gun are filled with sensors, and each sensor rewards different amount of points. When your vest or gun are hit by the infrared laser, your sensors shut off for 15 seconds so you become invincible and you can run away and hide, but you can't shoot anyone during that time either!

"C'mon, Jade. It's just a game." Beck says.

"I know, but I'm playing to win. I just want to take down the slim pickens first. It's not like the tiny red-head will be much of a threat." Jade scoffed. I'm glad it's dark so no one can see my face going red.

"You'll see, Jade! I'll shoot you like… ten times! Twenty times!" I state somewhat confidently. I don't like being called inadequate. Jade just laughs and a staff member comes in to start the game.

He has us read the code of conduct that will keep Robbie from being punched in the face by the big guys, and then he runs a scanner over our vests to start them up. He then opens up a bunch of doors leading to the arena and explains that once we run through one, we have 30 seconds to find a post before all of our sensors activate, and the game begins. He also explains that if someone gets hurt, the safety word to call a staff member to help is, "Leeroy Jenkins!" I giggle at that. What a funny thing to say.

We all line up in front of different doors. Tori is standing in front of the doorway next to mine. She looks over at me.

"Good luck, Cat!" She exclaims.

"You too, Tor!" I flash a big smile. The staff member gives the signal and we all run into the arena. I hear my vest quietly beep as the timer ticks. 30 beeps to find a good place to start. The Arena is huge! I forgot how big it was. It's full of mazes and obstacles, places to hide, and towers. They used to have mirrors in here to confuse people, but they worked too well and too many people ended up running into them. It was still a cool arena! I follow a maze like area. I'm trying not to giggle out of excitement. Need to focus. Need to find a place to hide. Beep. Beep. Beep. I feel like I'm hooked up to a cardiogram, but my heart would be beating way faster than this!

Finally I find a little cubby-hole at the base of an abstract structure. I squat down and squeeze myself down. I push myself against the end of the little hiding place, and I can see through some bars. I feel proud of myself. Now if somebody walks by I can shoot them without being noticed! The vest whirls with the sound of the sensors turning on, and an announcer comes on stating "Let the tagging begin!" I try to suppress a giggle. Must be silent. I wait for 1 minute. 2 minutes. I'm starting to get bored. Why won't anybody run by? I can hear the sounds of lasers and laughter off in the distance, but nowhere near me. I frown and I'm about to crawl out of the hiding place when I hear footsteps. I nearly jump up and down but I remember I'm in a place in a low ceiling and I don't want to hit my head.

I ready the gun to point out the bars so I can have a good shot at whoever goes by. The footsteps get closer and I can feel my adrenaline pumping. I see the flashing lights of a vest bob by as someone jogs passed the bars, and I pull the trigger – Shoot! I missed! Ha ha, shoot. Gun humour. But no! I'm frustrated with myself! I start shooting wildly to hit the person but I fail. I run out of my cubby to get a better shot, but when I do I see that the person noticed my lasers. It was one of the 30 year olds, and he had turned with his gun pointed at me. My eyes go wide and I turn to run the other direction. I hear the sound of the laser and my vest shuts down. I was too late. Shoot!

Hehe, shoot.

I let out a huff and turn around, but the man was already gun. I mean gone. I laugh at myself for a bit before I continue walking along the path waiting for my vest to turn back on. When 15 seconds is up I go back into stealth mode and cautiously peer around corners before moving on. I walk for a bit before I hear a booming voice shouting from a tower: "Hey! I see someone!" Suddenly, lasers everywhere. I squeak as I duck and run, trying to find cover. I don't know how, but I get out without getting hit. Maybe I'm getting better! Or I'm just really good at running away. The little victories!

I walk cautiously for a little while, now keeping my eyes above me as well. Finally I reach a part of the maze where I can hide behind a wall and wait for someone to come up on either side of me. Then I can jump out and surprise them! I don't have to wait as long this time, as I hear someone coming up on the right side almost immediately. The adrenaline starts up again as I excitedly jump around the corner with my gun held up at arm's length.

"Don't move or I'll shoot!" I shout. Hehe, I always wanted to say that. The other person was holding their gun up at me as well, and I realize we are at an impasse. But then I really look at the person in front of me. I would recognize that figure anywhere! I drop my gun to my side.

"Tori?!" I say excitedly. She lets out a sigh and drops her gun to her side as well.

"Geez, Cat, you scared me." She exasperates. I jump onto her in a tight hug, our vests clicking together. "Haha, easy! You're going to break the vests!"

"Sorry!" I apologize and pull away. I can see her grin.

"How have you been doing so far?" She asks. My smile falters.

"Not that good. I haven't hit anybody yet and I got shot once." I pouted.

"Aww, well there's still time to turn it around! I've been hit twice, but I hit Andre and one of those 30 year old men." Tori explained.

"Oh! I bet you avenged me, then! I got hit by a 30 year old." I admit.

"I'm glad I could avenge your fifteen second death." She laughs. "Hey, want to make an alliance? Two uncoordinated girls shooting at everything are better than one!"

"Absolutely! Yay, alliance!" I grin. She gives a serious nod and lowers her voice. She puts her face close to mine as she begins to talk strategy.

"So, from what I know, the birthday party girls have a base camp in the middle of the maze. What do you know?" Tori inquires. I think for a minute.

"I think those 3 big guys are in one of the towers that way," I point. "They were shooting at me earlier." This is so fun. I love that we're talking recon so seriously. I bet Sikowitz would be very proud of our role-playing.

"Perfect. We'll stay away from there for now. They seem to be experts. The other tower on the other side of the Arena is where Beck and Jade are hanging out. I don't think we need to worry about them though." She states. I cock my head in confusion.

"Why not? I thought Jade had it out for us."

"Well, Jade talks a big game, but near the beginning I ran up to that tower and Beck and Jade were… occupied with other things." Tori chuckles.

"They were making out?" I gasp. Tori nods. I wrinkle my nose in disgust. "That's gross! This is a battlefield, not a bedroom!"

"I couldn't agree more." Tori laughs. "Is that all we know?"

"Yeah, I guess the rest are running around or hiding." I ponder. "Oooh can we go after the birthday party? Can we? Can we?"

"Sounds good to me! They should be easy with you on my side." She nudges me with her elbow. "We can flank them from either side. Come on! This way!" She starts jogging and I follow her closely behind.

"I'll watch your back." I giggle.

"Thanks!" She laughs. We turn a corner and she signals for me to stop. She puts a finger up to her lips and starts speaking in a hushed tone. "They're through that section. I heard them gossiping about boys right before I ran into you. I'm going to go around and we'll surprise them from both sides! You got it?"

"Yes ma'am!" I give a soft giggle and a mock salute. She chuckles.

"Alright, count to twenty, and then charge them." She instructs. Then she's gone.

One… two… three… This is so fun. I don't know why we don't do this more often. Probably because it's a bit expensive. Oh right, um… seven, eight, nine… Those girls won't know what hit them. I hope we don't upset them too much… I mean it is one their birthdays. But it's just a game, right? Uh, twelve… thirteen... fourteen… fifteen… I wish I had counted in French. Four in French sounds like my name! And then fourteen sounds like my name and Tori's name. Cat-Tors! I think that should be our team name! Uh oh, um, 20? Why can't I focus!

I charge into the open area in the middle of the maze. The four girls turn their guns toward me and I stand there dumbstruck. But then Tori steps out behind them and shoots two of them! The other two are startled and turn to shoot Tori, but I shoot them first as soon as they turned their backs. They all let out a groan and I flash a smile to Tori, which she reciprocates. We run out of the open area and meet back at where we first ran into each other. We laugh and give each other high fives.

"We rock!" Tori exclaims.

"This is like The Hunger Games!" I giggle.

"Well good job, Katniss!" Tori jokes. "Get it? Because of Cat? Katniss?"

I chuckle, "Thanks, Tori, but you'd suit Katniss better than I could!"

"Haha, maybe if I put my hair in a braid. Who are you, then?" She asks. I think for a minute before deciding.

"Peeta!" I throw up my hands in the declaration. Tori bursts out laughing before grabbing my hand and pulling me along.

"Well, c'mon Peeta! We're going to take out the tower of the terminators!"

"What? Really?" I gasp.

"Yeah! After our first raid, I'm feeling pretty confident. Why not?" She boasts.

"Okay!" I agree with a smile. We duck down near a wall at the base of the tower and scope the surroundings. There's a ramp that loops around the tower leading to the top, which is a perfect area for sniping out people in the maze. We can barely see a large silhouette with flashing lights standing near the top of the first flight of the ramp.

"We'll need a distraction to get up there. We won't have the same element of surprise but maybe we can still shake them up a little. I think they're pretty cocky, so maybe we can get them to make a mistake if we show the same amount of confidence." Tori strategizes. I laugh.

"You really seem to know what you're doing for someone who's never done this before." I note.

"Haha, maybe this is bringing out my inner soldier. Okay, I'm going to run along the base. While they're shooting at me, you can get up there and take them out."

"But what about the guard?" I point at the barely visible flashing lights.

"Hmm, I don't know how to distra-"

Suddenly we hear a voice that sounds a lot like Robbie's off in the distance: "OWWW! Ohhhhh… My face! Ugh! Leeroy Jenkins! Leeroy Jenkins!" He whines. Tori and I look at each other. Good enough! She runs under the tower and I run up the ramp. Robbie's cries are still filling the Arena and I can see the figure laughing. He doesn't even notice when the laser from my gun shuts down his system. He jumps out of shock as I run past him.

"Hey! Somebodies coming up!" He shouts to his buddies. Oh no! We forgot they can still communicate after they've been shot! It's too late, I'm already at the top and the other two big dudes have turned their sights from Tori to me. Luckily, there's a lot of cover at the top of the tower as well. I sprint behind a pillar and give a scream.

"Tori!" They start chasing me around the pillar and I give a yelp.

"Come on honey, you've lost this round." The smaller of the two laughs. I remember what Tori told me. Fight them with confidence and maybe we can make them slip up! I grit my teeth and let out a screech as I turn on a dime and shoot. I hit the smaller guy and he swears. Bad word! There's no need for that! But the biggest guy is still there, and there's no way I can escape now. He raises his gun…

"Cat!" Tori shouts and dives in front of me. I notice her vest has shut down, so she must have been shot, but her body was enough to block the infrared and I was able to run and turn my gun at him. I shoot and it hits him straight in the chest sensor! Double points! The guy stands there surprised. He lowers his disengaged gun for a moment, then I see the flash of white from his smile. I hear Tori's vest start up again as well.

"Come on, boys. These lovely ladies won the tower from us." He bellows. They peacefully leave go down the ramp, leaving us as queens of the castle. I let out a cheer of victory.

"We did it, Tori!"

"Yeah we did! Although, I think what I did to block the shot was cheating though." Tori admitted.

"Eh, all's fair in laser tag! They didn't seem to mind! And now we're unstoppable!" I say in a sing-song voice. Our feeling of invincibility didn't last very long. Soon after, Andre, Beck and Jade (who had stopped making out by now) came and stormed us out, and we spent the rest of the game fighting over the tower. Finally the buzzer sounded, signaling the end of the game. I left the arena giggling, swinging my arms while holding Tori's hand.

"Hey ya'll, come look at the score board!" Andre called out after we had put away our vests and guns back on the racks. We ran to the big screen TV in the lobby. It read:

**Jason – 1254  
Derek – 1198  
Andre – 1056  
Matt – 992  
Cat – 957  
Jade – 922  
Tori – 884  
Adam - 801  
Alysia – 763  
Beck – 761  
Ted – 724  
Serena – 528  
Brooke – 479  
Casey – 399  
Robbie – 46**

"Yay! Oh, my gosh! I'm in the top five! This is so exciting!" I cheered. I look over to Tori. "I'm sorry, Tori. I bet you would've gotten better than me if you hadn't gotten hit trying to be a distraction at the tower, and then trying to save me later." I pout. Tori laughs and throws an arm around me.

"That's okay, Cat. I had a great time anyway. The scores don't matter." Tori assured me.

"You're just saying that because I beat you, Vega. Sounds like loser talk to me." Jade jeered. Tori just smiled.

"And how do you feel about losing to Cat? Didn't you say you were going to beat her, too?"

"She must've gotten lucky." Jade scoffs. But she gives me a light punch on the shoulder. "But I admit defeat. Good job, kid." I just a big smile because this is probably the best praise I could get from Jade.

"Yeah, you are quite impressive for such a little one." A deep voice from behind me says. I recognize it as the voice from the tower when I first got shot at. Now that we're in the light I can better see his features. He is quite tall and muscular, his shirt tight fitting around his pecks. He has short blonde hair that scuffs up in the front and bright blue eyes. His smile seems just as big and white out here and in the black light. "Usually I'm at the top of the board, but I bet cause you hit me that one time, my bud Jason won instead."

"I'm sorry." My eyes are downcast. His laugh is booming.

"No, no. It's a good thing. I needed my ego to be brought down a few notches." He flashed another big smile. "Maybe we can play again sometime? Mind if I grab your number?" He asks. He seems nice!

"Sure." I giggle and hand over my phone. He copies my number.

"I'm Derek, by the way."

"Cat." I reciprocate the name exchange. He flashes me another smile, hands back my phone and tells me he'll see me around before walking away. Tori nudges me.

"Well he's cute." She notes.

"I guess." I shrug.

"Do you think you're interested in him at all?" Tori pries.

"I-"

"Hey, guys." A very muffled Robbie interrupts. We look over to see him holding an ice pack on his nose. Poor Robbie! He has also retrieved Rex. Yay.

"Forty-six? Really? See, this wouldn't have happened if they had let me play." Rex sulks.

"Be quiet, Rex." Robbie snaps.

"Hey Robbie, what happened to your face?" Beck asks.

"I tripped and fell." Robbie mumbles.

"Yeah, luckily his big nose 'broke' the fall!" Rex puns.

"Shut up, Rex! Anyway, on the bright side, they said they'll give us free pizza if I don't sue." Robbie says.

"Ah, that's my main man!" Andre slaps Robbie on the shoulder. "C'mon guys! Free pizza on Robbie's nose!"

"To Robbie's nose!" We all laugh and cheer while we go into the pizza room. Robbie just groans.

* * *

"Okay! Bye guys! See you on Monday!" I say while running around giving everyone hugs in the parking lot. They all say their farewells as they get into their cars. I skip over to Tori whose waiting by her car.

"Ready to go?" She asks. I nod vigorously and get into the passenger seat. She gets behind the wheel, starts up the car and pulls out onto the road. "Today was a lot of fun."

"Yeah! But I'm super tired now." I yawn, feeling my eyes get all droopy.

"Maybe you just need some sugar." Tori suggests.

"Woo! Sugar! You know me so well." I laugh, brightening up instantly. Tori laughs.

"Wow, what a nice sunset." Tori breathes. I have to agree. It's like bright orange at the top, and then it goes darker until it's a deep red on the horizon. It looks like one of those drinks that I'm not old enough to order yet.

"It looks like we're driving right into it. Oh! Like a dramatic movie! Two heroes finish their job on the battlefield and then ride off into the sunset." I fantasize.

"You make it sound very romantic." Tori laughs. "But yeah, it's gorgeous."

We sit there in silence while Tori drives, watching the sun go down. It's a nice moment. After a few minutes, Tori reaches over and turns the radio on. "Oh my gosh, I love this song! Turn it up!" I blurt out.

"Cranking it!" Tori proclaims. She rolls down the window and we spend the rest of the car drive singing wildly to the songs on the radio. I feel awake again and I can't stop smiling or laughing. I'm pretty disappointed when she pulls up in front of my house.

"Alright, here's your stop. Have a good night, Peeta." Tori winks at me.

"You're the best laser tag partner I could've asked for." I giggle, leaning over to peck her on the cheek. "Thanks for the ride, Tor!" I say as I get out and close the door. I happily skip to my front door as I hear her pull away. I open the door, walk in and take off my shoes. I hear my mom's voice from the kitchen.

"Cat? Honey, is that you?"

"Yeah, mom!" I answer. I was happy my parents had decided to move back. I loved living with my Nona, but she got sick… not horribly sick. She should be fine but for now, she can't take care of me. I called my parents and threw a small hissy fit when they told me I'd have to live with my aunt and uncle again. I told them I'd rather have giant mice fall into my hair again. That seemed to work, because they decided they would come live here with me and visit my brother every few weeks. They said they didn't want their daughter to end up in the special place as well. I wonder why they think I would?

"Did you have a good time with your friends?" My dad asks, appearing in the kitchen doorway. I can see my mom at the stove past him.

"I had so much fun, dad, it was amazing!" I give a big smile, still giddy from the night's events.

"Do you want any dinner?" My mom asks.

"No thanks. I got pizza because of Robbie's nose. I'm going up to my room! Bye!" I say, noticing my parents shoot each other confused looks before shaking their heads. I like confusing them. It's funny.

I throw open my door and enter my room. I throw my bag on the floor and turn on my computer. I feel my eyes starting to get blurry with tears, so I quickly turn to close my door. I flop on my bed and let the frustration and overwhelming sadness flow over me. It's too much, but I need to feel it now. Alone in my room, it's the only time I can allow myself to feel how I really feel. It's safe here. I clutch my heart that's aching, and I bite my comforter to keep myself from letting out a sob.

I had such an amazing time today. Too amazing. It just made everything worse. Her laugh. The way she looks at me. The way her arms felt around me every time I hugged her. The way we worked together and joked around during laser tag. My lips still tingled from kissing her on the cheek. It was like electricity, and I would never experience it in more than just a friendship sense. Yes, right now in these moments alone is when I could finally allow myself to truly feel and admit to myself.

I am utterly obsessed and completely consumed with Tori Vega.

* * *

**Authors Note: Ahaha. Oh god. I'm so nervous about what you guys will think. This chapter doesn't represent much of what the rest of the story will be like, it's just a good set up of things to come. Again, you'll see. Let me know what you think! I'll be updating pretty regularly. **

**Also, I love me some laser tag. What kind of fun things do you like to do with your friends?**


	2. Dilated

**Disclaimer: Know what I don't own? Take a guess... that's right! I don't own Victorious! Here's a cookie.**

* * *

You know that feeling you get sometimes when you're about to fall asleep, and then you feel like you literally fall OUT of sleep? I get that feeling often. I actually like it quite a lot. It's like your body's built in reality check. You're losing touch on the physical world and are about to be consumed into this surreal world with no rules or boundaries, and the scary part is that your brain believes it. But then, like a burst of salvation, your stomach feels a sensation similar to whip-lash and you're jerked awake, roughly placed back into reality. Not that I don't like sleeping, I do. I just find it nice because my mind isn't in reality all that often anyway.

Like these feelings for Tori, for example. I don't know what my brain is thinking. It isn't realistic at all. I want to be with her, but it will never happen. Why can't I be completely happy with friendship? And I am happy. I'm grateful that she gives me anything at all. I just wish my stomach would catch and I'd start falling. Falling away from these feelings of attraction, and falling back into reality. That would be much better than feeling like all the colour has been drained from my world in these moments. I hate myself for feeling this way. At one time, though, I didn't mind it.

I remember the first time I saw Tori Vega. It was at the showcase. This wasn't some silly, "love at first sight" kind of deal. I remember thinking she was pretty and talented, and I wondered if she was nice as well. In fact, I was so worried about whether she was nice or not that when I first met her face to face, I think I freaked her out a little. I was a little… overwhelming, as usual, when asking what she meant when she said my name was like a cat. Then I determined she was nice when she said she liked cats and, now satisfied, I walked away. Now that I think about it, that was pretty weird and random of me. But I don't think about how awkward I am at the time, as everything seems normal to me until people tell me otherwise. Just like my feelings.

Despite my wackiness, Tori and I became fast friends. We helped each other out in sticky situations (sometimes literally, like with the zombie make-up), and I found myself getting closer with the brunette. Then we were at that fancy restaurant with the expensive fish eggs, and Tori was singing a romantic song, in a romantic setting… she grabbed my arm, looked deep into my eyes… and that was it. I was captivated.

Like I said, I found nothing wrong with it at the time. So, I got a little flirty with her. Started staring at her more often. I noticed how much I liked her skin, her eyes, her lips… I don't think she noticed, but Jade did. I remember how that conversation went.

"Do you think there's any gluten in this burrito shell?" Robbie asked, looking at his half eaten burrito at the lunch table.

"I don't think corn-based bread products have gluten." Tori reasoned.

"Yeah, but it's a soft shell." Robbie looked worried.

"Well then it has flour. Flour things usually have gluten." Beck theorized. Suddenly there was a rumble erupting from Robbie's stomach. Robbie went pale.

"Uh oh, the boy's about to explode!" Rex stated.

"Bathroom. Bathroom!" Robbie shrieked as he ran from the table, Rex cackling the whole way.

"What a nub." Jade grumbled. Beck elbowed her disapprovingly.

"Poor guy. Should somebody check if he'll be okay?" Tori asked.

"Nah, dude'll be fine. Hey Tori, want to go work on our civil war scene for history?" Andre asked. Even our non-art classes included art. I love this school.

"Ugh, do we have to?" Tori whined.

"It is due tomorrow." Andre played the guilt card.

"Fine." Tori sighed. "See you guys later!" She started to leave with Andre.

"Bye Tori!" I said in a sing-song voice, twirling my hair and batting my eyelashes. She gave me an awkward smile and wave as she walked away. I watched her the whole way.

"Cat." I barely hear Jades voice. I ignore it. I'm watching Tori.

"Hey, Cat."

Her brown curls just sway in the wind. She's like a model. I wish she'd turn around and give me one more smile…

"Cat. Cat. Cat!"

I really like those jeans on Tori. They really define her-

"CAT!"

I finally turn to look at the source of the loud, angry voice.

"Oh, hi Jade!" I giggled. She blinks at me for a second before starting her point.

"So, you have feelings for Vega." She stated dryly. Beck nearly does a spit take with his water.

"Babe, why the upfront-ness?" Beck asked.

"Why beat around the bush? It's obvious that Cat's crushing hard." Jade shrugged. "Aren't you?"

I give a shy smile. "Well, yeah… I mean, she's really nice, and pretty, and smart, and talented-"

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Jade cut me off. "Look, Cat, even though you're really annoying and obviously delusional-"

"Seriously, why the brutal honesty?" Beck jumped in.

"-you're also so sickeningly innocent that I can't stand to see you get hurt, so as your friend, I feel it my obligation to tell you to forget whatever you're feeling for Vega." Jade finished. I cock my head in confusion.

"But why?"

"Well, besides the fact that she's stupid and completely enraging most of the time," Jade explained while Beck raises his eyebrows, "I'm pretty sure she's into guys. Just guys."

"Well why not girls, too? Can't everyone love everybody?" I asked. Jade slaps on a big fake smile and pats my hand pityingly.

"Sweetie, if the world worked that way then no girl would ever date a guy, ever."

"Hey!" Beck protested. Jade gave him a peck on the lips to appease him. I turn to Beck.

"Is that true? Will Tori only ever date guys?" I pouted.

"I'm pretty sure." Beck answered with compassion in his voice.

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?" Jade snapped. Beck held his hands up in defense. She took a deep breath and continued. "Listen. Not only do some girls not date other girls, but some get kind of creeped out when they're approached romantically by another girl. You get what I'm saying?"

I stare at her for a moment. "No."

Jade sighs, "I'm saying, that if you were to make your feelings known to Vega, she might get scared off. And then you wouldn't be friends anymore. Heck, she might never even talk to you again. Do you want that to happen?" Jade asked.

"No, definitely not!" I gasped.

"Great. Then it's settled that since there's no way in hell that Vega would return your feelings anyway,"

"Jade…" Beck warned.

"Then there's absolutely no reason for you to tell her. That way you won't jeopardize your friendship. So just get over her already." Jade started casually sipping her drink while Beck glared at her.

"Kay, kay…" I mumbled, and silently picked at my food for the rest of lunch.

Although part of me knew deep down that Jade in her own Jade way was being genuine with what she said, I needed a second opinion. That night at the dinner table, I brought the idea up to my parents. My brother was making a mashed potato fort and my parents were talking about work.

"So then my boss gave the promotion to a guy who does hardly any work." My dad ranted.

"Well that's not fair, honey." My mom sympathized.

"I know. I'm the one who gets my paper work in on time. I'm the one who comes in everyday at 9am sharp and fetches my boss his specialty coffee. I'm the one who-"

"What do you guys think about people of the same gender dating?" I pipe in. Everyone stops what they're doing (except my brother) and stares at me. My mom looks like she's trying to figure out what she's about to say carefully.

"Well, Cat, I know there's a fair amount of people in the world these days that think that something like that is okay, but in this family we think it's unacceptable." She explained. My dad nodded.

"But what about my uncles?" I frowned. My dad goes red in the face.

"I was worried that they would influence you." He fumed.

"Honey, we try to tolerate what your uncle and… uncle do. But at the end of the day, what they do is unnatural and we cannot condone it." My mother said plainly.

"Don't get any ideas from them. Just do what's natural." My dad said.

"Yes, don't get pressured into thinking dating… girls is okay. Only be with boys. I want to have grandkids one day." My mother sighed.

"Whoa, whoa. Let's not be too hasty, here. Not many boys are good enough for my Cat, either!" My dad jumped in.

"But, is it really wrong to like someone of the same gender? I mean, if that's the way you feel, and it feels right, you're not hurting anyone, are you? What's the problem?" I argued. My mom is slack-jawed and my dad just gives me a hard stare.

"Cat, you talk too much." My dad stated.

"Let's just say that if you told us you were… 'gay'… we would be very disappointed in your decision." My mom huffed. I look down at my hands on my lap.

"Don't worry, mom and dad. I'm as straight as straight can be. No problem here." I mumbled.

"Good, glad that's settled then." My dad smiled and returns to his food.

"Any more baby carrots?" My mom asked, turning away from me.

And so I had my answer. My feelings were wrong. My feelings would get me in trouble with my parents and with Tori. So I shoved them down. In fact, I shoved them so far down that I decided the next guy I met who showed any interest in me, I would date. That guy happened to be Daniel, who happened to be Tori's ex-boyfriend. Just my luck. Tori sprayed hot cheese on me, kissed him while I was dating him, dragged me across the school floor to cat-nap me (heehee), and I punched her in the face. I thought maybe that would be enough for me to get over my feelings for her. But, it didn't. In fact, I'm pretty sure it just made us closer friends in the end. It made me so frustrated I wanted to rip my red velvet hair out. I still do. I dumped Danny because it was too weird to date my best friend/crush's ex. I did try to pursue other romantic relationships, but they were all attempts to try and mask my feelings for Tori, or try to get over her. I even tried to set her up with someone who was considered the cutest guy in school. Nothing worked. Nothing ever works.

So here I am. Once again. Feeling lost and I can't let it go.

Sudden something hooks around my stomach, and I'm falling.

* * *

I wake up with a jolt. I'm still curled up on my bed with the covers amassed around me. I must've fallen asleep. I look at the clock and… oh, no. It's 10:30pm. Now I'm going to stay up until, like, 3am and my sleeping schedule is going to be seriously messed up. Like my brother. Oh well, I feel better now that I've cried everything out for tonight. Where's my phone?

PHONE! Oh, I found it under the covers. I unlock the screen and see that I have a text from Tori. Despite the distress my feelings for her causes me, I really do like hearing from her anyway. She's really fun, and I couldn't ask for a better best friend. So, I smile when I open the text.

_Hey Cat! I know I usually work with Andre on music, but singing with you tonight in the car really inspired me. We sound great together! Remember Best Friend's Brother and L.A. Boyz? Those two songs are probably my favourite duets, so… We should sing together more often. Maybe we can work on a song together this week? I think it'd be really fun! Let me know!_

I grin at the proposition. I love singing with Tori, too. Jade's great to sing with as well, because her voice is amazing (despite her scariness), but it can't match the energy me and Tori amass when we belt a chorus. I turn my phone to the side and begin to answer.

_That sounds like so much fun! I'm not free this weekend because we have to visit my brother on his "special vacation". At least, he thinks it's a vacation. It's actually a special facility. And_ _the doctor and nurses all wear Hawaiian shirts to help trick him while he's there to keep him calm. It doesn't work very well. Anyway, I'm free after school on Monday. Maybe we can get together then? _

I add three smiley faces for effect. I almost immediately receive a response.

_Sounds great! We can also make cupcakes._

She knows me so well.

_Yay! Cupcakes and singing with Tori! _I send back.

_Haha okay, it's a date. Goodnight, Cat!_

_Nighty-night, Tori!_

Okay, I know I'm probably digging my own grave by agreeing to this. But, it sounds really fun. There will be cupcakes. And Tori seemed so excited for it. I can't let her down because, I don't know, her existence causes me extreme heart-ache. Her existence also causes me great joy, and I really like hanging out with her at the time. It's only when I get home and I'm alone where I-

Okay, okay. I'm really trying hard to justify this. But, oh well. I can only blame myself.

I check the slap and see there's a new tweet from Tori as well.

**Found out tonight that I can be a decent commander! Laser tag was incredible! I love my friends. #KatnissandPeeta4ever**

**Mood: Tired**

I feel my cheeks go all hot when I blush. Yeah, Monday night won't be hard at all.

I can't wait.

* * *

I'm super tired. We got to the psychiatric hospital to find out my brother had escaped. He ran to the local zoo and got into the monkey cage, somehow. We had to coax him down from a fake tree with a banana. I have to say, my brother is very resourceful. In the short time he had been there, he had all the monkeys under his command. Let's just say, I never thought I'd have a banana in my ear again, but it happened.

Now it's Monday, and I'm in science class. I like science when we're mixing things. It makes me feel like I'm in Harry Potter. But today, we're just talking about scientific theories and I'm bored again. And a little restless. I can't stop thinking about writing that song with Tori tonight. And cupcakes. I think I'm starting to drool again. I need to stop drooling in class.

That's when I feel the light buzzing of my phone. Glancing at the teacher to make sure he's not looking, I grab my phone and check the message. I read **Derek**. Who's Derek?

_Hey, sharp shooter! You might not remember me, but I'm the guy you outmatched in laser tag Friday night! You really impressed me. So, I was thinking, maybe we could get sushi some time? I know this great place called Nozu. Let me know._

Oh, right. He was that big guy. Well he seems really nice, and he was pretty cute but I'm not really interested. I'm done trying to hide my feelings behind random guys. It's not fair to me or them. I just won't answer and he'll take the hint. Unfortunately, I was still looking at my phone when the teacher noticed me in the midst of making big girl decisions.

"Miss Valentine." He drawls.

"Yes, Mr. Kwai?" I ask innocently.

"It seems to me that you are more interested in your phone than science." He accuses. Uh oh, is he going to dare me to give up my phone, too? That was horrible the first time. "Are you not interested in science?"

"No sir, it's not that. I like science. But all these theories make my brain hurt." I admit. He mulls it over for a minute.

"I'm surprised, Cat. I thought you were the kind of person who theorized all the time." He states. I guess he's right.

"Well, yeah, but like… simple stuff. Like how many licks does it take to get to the centre of a lollipop? And how many jelly beans are in the jar? And how do they get the caramel in the middle?" I ponder. I really hope I'm not drooling. I hear the class giggling at me. "Nothing big like the creation of the universe or the cure for deadly diseases."

"Ah, you're right. Those are simple. And very sweet driven. However, if you really dig deep into science you'll find there are a lot of theories that may interest you that have a lot of scientific following." He explains. "For example, there's a theory that when you have sexual and/or romantic feelings for someone, then you look at that person, a chemical releases in your brain which causes your pupils to dilate." He finishes.

There's an excited murmur amongst the classroom. That really is cute! Science is cute! Mr. Kwai smiles while looking around the room.

"See, now I have your attention. Now, back to a different kind of hormone, there's a few theories about the Human Growth Hormone…"

* * *

"Can Tori give you a ride home later? I have a hair salon appointment to get all the banana bits professionally removed from my follicles. And then I have a spa date to remove all the stress from my being." My mom tells me as I'm getting out of the car in front of Tori's house.

"Sure, mom. I'll ask her." I reply.

"Great. Don't stay too late. It's a school night. Bye, honey."

"Bye!" I call after her as she drives away. I take a deep breath. Time to get into character. The best friend character. Just best friend. I walk up to the door and I'm about to knock when the door flies open.

"No one understands me!" Cries Trina as she holds the door open and proceeds to storm out. I stand there wide eyed.

"Hi, Trina!" I greet her happily. She snarls at me.

"Tori your stupid friend is here!" She screams back into the house before continuing to storm off.

"… Bye, Trina!" I say my perky farewell to her retreating form. Tori appears in the doorway.

"Hi, Cat." She sighs.

"Did I do something wrong?" I ask.

"No. Trina is just wrong. Ignore her." She huffs and steps aside, allowing me in.

"Oh, okay." I say, satisfied. I enter and she closes the door. I stand in the middle of the living room and turn to look at her. She seems about as stressed as my mom. Maybe she needs a spa day.

"She's mad because she got another rejection letter from a record company. And a restraining order." She explains solemnly.

"Oh. But she knows she's not very good, right?" I ask.

"Cat! But… no. She doesn't." She sighs.

"That's actually a little sad." I pout.

"Yep. It is." She runs a hand through her hair and shakes it out a little, trying to rub Trina out of her mind. "So, we didn't get much chance to talk today because of all the school projects going on. How are you?"

"I'm great!" I beam.

"How was your weekend with your brother?" She asks. My face falls.

"Full of monkeys and thrown bananas. And other stuff that I wish was fruit." I mumble. She stares at me for a second before shaking her head.

"Do I want to ask?"

"Please don't." I frown.

"Alright, I'll let it stay a mystery." She chuckles, holding up her hands in surrender.

"Thank you." I smile in relief. She bites her lip for a moment before her eyes brighten up.

"So clearly both of us haven't had the best experience with siblings lately. I think this calls for cupcakes!" She exclaims. I squeal with delight.

"I agree with this!" I proclaim and skip off to the kitchen.

"I have the recipe and ingredients for red velvet. How's that sound?" She asks, following me to the kitchen.

"Do you even need to ask?" I gasp, jumping on her with a hug.

"Alright. Down, Cat." She laughs. I release her and I watch her dotingly as she pulls open a cook book. "So it says her to pre-heat the oven at 350, and then-"

She's cut short by me closing the book on her. "We don't need this recipe, silly! I can teach you the recipe my Nona taught me!" I offer.

"Well, alright. Generally I trust your cooking skills." She submits. I give her a big smile as I start grabbing the eggs, flour and buttermilk and throwing it into a bowl.

"Okay, first rule is that you have to be very gentle when mixing. Instead of stirring, fold it over. See? Like this." I demonstrate. "It makes the cupcake much fluffier. You try."

"Um, okay." She says hesitantly. She grabs the rubber spatula from me and starts to plop the batter over.

"More gentle. Like you don't want to hurt it." I explain, placing my hands on her arms and guiding her movements. "That's it. Just like that." I coo. She lets out a nervous giggle and I can feel her breath on the side of my face. If I was not-just-best-friend Cat right now, I would swoon.

"This seems like it takes a lot longer." Tori observes.

"Mhm, but it'll be worth it." I promise her. I slip my hands away from her. "Okay, you keep doing that and I'll add in the other ingredients."

"Kay, kay." She says. I giggle at her use of one of my sayings. I carefully pour in unsalted butter, vanilla extract, sugar, salt and, most importantly, the red food colouring. Tori continues to churn as I observe.

"Remember Derek from laser tag?" I ask.

"Big daddy terminator guy? Yeah." Tori says.

"He texted me today." I blurt out.

"I'm not surprised." She states.

"Why?" I ask, cocking my head at her.

"Well, I mean, it's been like three days. So it's about time for him to ask you out. He was clearly interested." She sighs. "That's what he did, right?"

"Well, yeah…"

"So, are you going to?" She pries.

"I don't think so." I start, but I panic and back pedal. "I mean, I don't know. I haven't decided yet." Yes you have, Cat. You made the big girl decision today.

"Oh, well maybe you should consider it. It might be fun." Tori urges. Not-just-best-friend Cat hurts right about now.

"I'll think about it." Liar pants. "Okay. I think you're done. Let's pour it into the cupcake tins. Gently!" I decide. We spend the next five minutes carefully scraping the red goop into the tins.

"You really take your baked goods seriously." Tori notes.

"Of course. Respect the dessert and it'll respect your taste buds!" I philosophize. Tori lets out a giggle as she places the tin into the oven.

"Okay. Forty minutes until red velvety deliciousness. Why don't we get started on the song?" Tori suggests.

"Kay, kay!" I smile. We make our way over to the piano. She sits down and stares at it, furrowing her brow.

"Uh oh." She sighs.

"What?"

"Andre is much better at sitting down and pumping out a cool melody than I am." Tori groans. I purse my lips in puzzlement.

"But you've written music before. Let's start with a catchy beat. Something happy!" I suggest. Tori thinks for a minute before nodding. She plays around with the keys for a bit and tries out some chords. I wait patiently. Eventually, she lets out a breath.

"I think I got something." She states. She plays a few poppy sounding notes and chords. It sounds good, but it's missing something.

"That's great, Tori!" I praise, sliding in on the bench beside her. "Now what if we add this…" I replay what she did and then put in a few higher notes and finish it with a few quick beats and notes.

"Wow, Cat. I love it! I had no idea you could play piano." Tori exclaimed.

"I'm okay. Not as good as you or Andre. I can only draw inspiration from stuff." I explain.

"Well, it works." Tori says, playing it through again. "Sounds like a chorus to me."

"Yay, chorus!" I giggle. Our musical genius is interrupted by the back door opening. Tori's mom walks in with a bag of groceries in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other.

"Hi, mom. Was grocery shopping successful?" Tori asks.

"Yep, got everything I needed. Oh, hi Cat." Her mom notices me as she places everything on the table.

"Hello Mrs. Vega!" I greet her politely.

"Did you need the champagne, too? What's the occasion?" Tori asks.

"No occasion. I didn't buy it. Gary gave it to me." Her mom says with a dreamy expression. Tori raises an eyebrow.

"Alright then, mom." Tori concedes.

"Where's Trina?" Her mom asks.

"Read the letters on the table." Tori rolls her eyes. Her mother grimaces as she does so. She grabs the champagne bottle and a glass before starting to head up stairs.

"Well then, guess I'm cracking this open early. Have fun with whatever you two are doing." She says as she disappears up the stairs.

"Thanks, Mrs. Vega."

"Have fun, mom." Tori sighs as she turns back to the piano. "So, back to music?"

I giggle as I begin playing some tunes with her. We get distracted a lot and start playing random stuff, but that would eventually get our brains turning and we'd get back to adding to our song. It was sounding great, and we we're really enjoying ourselves. At some points I couldn't even play because I was giggling too hard. Tori was finishing up a verse when I put my hand on hers.

"You keep going. The cupcakes are almost done so I'm going to quickly mix up some icing. You'll love it." I grin.

"Sounds like a delicious idea." Tori chuckles. I give her a shy smile as I slide out and float to the kitchen. I quickly mix everything together to the sound of Tori's jamming. She really is super talented. I can't believe she ever thought she didn't belong at Hollywood Arts. Finally the creamy vanilla paste is done. I mix in sprinkles just as the timer goes off.

"Cupcakes are done!" I bellow as grab the oven mitts and pull them out in the oven. The look and smell perfect.

"I call putting on the icing!" Tori declares as she joins me in the kitchen.

"Okay. Make sure you don't eat all the icing before you're able to put it on the cupcakes." I warn.

"Is that what you do?" Tori raises an eyebrow. I look down embarrassed.

"Maybe." I flush.

"I'll try to control myself." Tori assures me with a chuckle. We then indulge in the best cupcakes. I beamed so much when Tori first tried it and nearly fell over from the flavour. After pigging out on like, three cupcakes each, we sealed the rest away for later and when back to the song.

"I think that's it." Tori states, marking one last note on the sheets. "For now, anyway. We've got a rough yet impressive song."

"Especially after only about one and a half hours." I smile.

"Well, we make a great team." She nudges me. I blush and giggle. "Now we just need lyrics." She holds the pen to her lips and starts to debate. "What should it be about?"

"Well, it's a very upbeat song. I think it should be a good and happy message." I decide.

"I agree. It's pretty much bubble-gum pop so it should be cute too. I just can't think of what though… love? Butterflies? Sunrises and beaches?" She starts brainstorming.

"It can be about anything!" I giggle. We sit there and ponder a bit, giving some ideas but nothing ever really feeling right. We hear the sounds of Tori's mom coming downstairs with the champagne glass.

"Did you girls make something? It smells delicious." She says.

"Yeah we made red velvet cupcakes. There's some in a container over there if you want one." Tori offers.

"Oh I think I will! Red velvet cupcakes will go great with my drink." Her mom says as she practically dances to the kitchen.

"Pink champagne, huh? Seems pretty fancy." Tori says. Wait, what?

Pink Champagne…

"Yeah, well." Her mom shrugs. "Gary knows me well. I love the way it pops."

Popping pink champagne…

"Right, mom."

"I would offer you some if you were legal drinking age."

My mind is going at a mile a minute… This is a rare but familiar feeling. Inspiration.

"No thanks anyway, mom." Tori says as her mom disappears up the stairs again with a cupcake in her mouth.

"Play the chorus, Tori." I request. I must have a serious look on my face because she gives me a surprised look as she turns to the keys.

"Got an idea?"

"Oh yeah."

"Let's hear it, then!" Tori exclaims as she starts the chorus. I feel my throat and lungs open up as I start to sing.

_Make it pop like pink champagne _

_In the purple rain_

_Gonna paint, paint, paint the city_

_Gonna show off all our pretty, _

_Pretty in pink champagne _

_Let 'em know our names_

_Screamin' so loud they'll hear us in L.A._

_We're popping like pink champagne._

I let out a shy giggle as I finish. I look to Tori for approval. I wasn't sure if she would like it, since she hasn't liked other cute ideas I've had like about a giraffe who learns to love. But she's looking at me with her hands poised over the keys and her mouth agape.

"Cat, sometimes I forget what an incredible singer you are." She breaths. I feel my face go really hot and red.

"Thanks, Tori."

"No, seriously, Cat. The power and soul in your voice just blows me away. I'm actually kind of jealous." She admits. I gape at that.

"But Tori, you're an amazing singer! That's why you got to sing at the Platinum Music Awards and always lead in our musical performances." I tell her.

"Well, I guess. But still. There's something really special about your voice. Don't let anybody ever make you feel like it's not." She gives me a serious stare to my increasingly reddening face. "And those lyrics were great. You got all that from my mom's glass of pink champagne?"

I smile and nod.

"They're just the right amount of fun that this song needed. It's adorable. Let's go with the pink champagne theme." Tori decides with a smile.

"Okay!" I beam. I slide back onto the bench with her.

"What are you hoping to do with your Hollywood Arts degree?" Tori asks randomly. "I know I want to be a pop star but I've never heard your aspirations."

"Musical theatre." I grin. She grins back.

"You'll definitely get there at this point. And I'll come to all your plays." Tori assures me.

"I'm looking forward to it! I'm excited I'll have a famous pop star in the audience." I laugh.

"Alright." She giggles. "Write down those lyrics here and we'll come up with more."

We spent another hour coming up with funny and uplifting lyrics revolving around pink champagne. At the end we had a still rough, but very fun and exciting song! I love it. Pink Champagne.

"I'm going to run this bye Andre. Maybe he can add some synth effects and other instruments." Tori suggests.

"I bet Andre will love it. I love the key change here." I say, pointing.

"I love the line 'carbonate some trouble, when life gets flat gotta take it back to another level'. That was all you." Tori praises. I giggle, embarrassed again. She slightly turns to me on the bench. "I'm really glad we were able to do this tonight."

"Me too." I agree. She places a hand on top of mine. I hope she doesn't feel the goose bumps she just gave me.

"I'm sorry we haven't been as close lately." She mutters. I give her a puzzled look.

"What do you mean? I feel close to you." You have no idea how much I mean that.

"Yeah, but I feel like we don't talk or hang out as much as we have before. And it's my fault. I've been self-absorbed lately. Jade just told me the other day that you spent a week living in the supply closet in the blackbox theatre. I had no idea. I was so concerned with my stupid dog incident while singing the national anthem that I was completely unaware of your problems. Once upon a time, I would've paid more attention to you at school. I'm so sorry." She apologizes. I gulp a little bit. I know she's slightly right, but I know I've been pushing her away a bit because of my feelings. It's not her fault.

"I'm still really impressed that you were able to finish the song while being dragged on the floor by that dog." I say.

"Glad you think so. I had skid marks of my back for days afterward." She winces. "Anyway, I'm going to make sure we're close again. Because, you really are my best girl friend, Cat. I don't want to feel distant from you."

"Aww, Tori…"

"So expect a lot more hang outs like this." She beams. I beam back.

"Kay, kay." I can't even think about pushing her away when she's being all sweet like this. I want to keep her as my best friend too! I notice her cock her head to the side and give me a funny look. I start to get paranoid and I'm very aware she's still touching my hand, and we're sitting very close… "Wh-what?" I stammer.

"Your pupils are really dilated."

Uh oh.

I feel a tingly sensation in my head as my heart stops. **She knows.**

My eyes pop wide open and I can feel there is no blood in my face right now. I start shaking as Tori gets a really worried look on her face. "No they aren't." I say in shaky breath.

"Oh my god, Cat. Are you okay?" Tori asks with alarm. She reaches up to touch my shoulder but I shy away from her touch and stand up. She looks at me with big eyes. Confusion? Worry? Is this it for our friendship? Does she even know about the pupils dilating when you like someone? She wasn't in that science class… but she can still have read it somewhere!

Dang it! After all my acting, my biological functions give it away! I start to breathe heavily and the room was starting to get blurry. Oh no, I know what's happening. I've been caught. My feelings are flooding to the surface now instead of waiting until I'm alone in my room.

"I'm f-fine." I gasp out to Tori. She stands up with a look of terror.

"Cat, just calm down. Do you want water? I'll get you water." Tori rambles as she pushes past me to sprint to the kitchen. I start having to hold back tears.

"Tori, I'm so sorry." I choke out. Tori comes back in record time with a glass of water. I can't even bring myself to take it. How can she be so nice when my feelings are so obvious? Jade said she would hate me!

"Don't be silly! Just… drink this. Don't worry. I'm sorry for… whatever I did to upset you." She says forcing the water into my hands. I choke back another sob. Maybe I can still save this.

"I'm going to go out with Derek!" I blurt out. She stares at me, obviously not knowing how to react.

"Oh, that's great, Cat. You don't seem very happy about it, though." She observes.

"No I'm very happy. These are tears of joy." I push a smile out. "See? I'm asking him out right now." I pull out my phone in front of her with shaky hands.

_Hey Derek, it's Cat. I would love to have sushi! I'm free this Friday after school. Hope to hear from you soon!_

Sent.

"There. Date with a boy." I state plainly. She blinks at me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asks carefully.

"Yep. Are you okay?"

"I guess I am as long as you're okay. But I'm still going to hug you. You really freaked me out there." Tori sighed, wrapping her arms around me. "I guess it's just a stressful time for everyone." She mumbles into my hair. I let out a sigh of relief and I feel her presence enveloping my body begin to calm me down. She still wants to be my friend.

"Yep. Just super stressed." I agree as she pulls away from the embrace. She runs a hand through her hair awkwardly, clearly still startled by the events that just transpired. I feel myself starting to think more rationally. What DID I just do? "Hey, Tori, what'd you mean about my eyes?"

"Your eyes? Oh, just that the pupils were really tiny and dilated. That happens when there's a lot of light in the area. I guess it was from the piano light. It just looked funny and kind of cute." Tori explained, still looking at me like I'm a bipolar mess. I probably am. She never thought I had a crush on her at all. My phone buzzes.

_Great to hear from you! I'll meet you there around 7. Looking forward to it._

Dang it.

* * *

**Author's Notes: For the record, I also don't own "Pink Champagne" By Ariana Grande. It was an easy song to choose, since I can already picture Cat's voice singing it. I don't think Pink Champagne will show up on her album, which saddens me, but I get it's not the direction she wants to go with her music. You can still find performances on the Youtubes. It fits Cat well, anyways.**

**Also, yeah, the whole "Tori and Cat make cupcakes and have a moment" thing is a bit overdone, but this is my take on it. There's important points in this for later. Yeah!**

**Fun Fact: After writing this and the first chapter, I had barely watched any of the newest Victorious episodes. So I freaked out when I thought Beck and Jade were over, and that Rex was going to "die" or be "sold". I didn't want to re-write that! But it all worked out, so it's all good. I had to change some things but eh, they were minor.**


	3. Be Truthful

**Disclaimer: Wouldn't it be really cool if one day, a Cori author was all: Guess what! I'm actually Dan Schneider and I'm writing this to get out all my Cori feels because, despite me thinking they belong together, I can't portray that on a children's network! ... I can't be that author for you. **

* * *

It's the next morning, and here I am at another day of Hollywood Arts. Sikowitz's class is next so I pull out my notepad and my Actor Training textbook and place it into my book bag. As I close my locker, I feel sad that my locker is on the top floor and nobody gets to see it much. It's really a creative and interesting design. It has-

"Hey, Cat." I hear as Tori comes up to me at my locker once again. At least she gets to see my locker. She looks uneasy.

"Hi Tori!" I greet her cheerfully.

"How are you feeling?" She asks cautiously.

"What do you mean?" I ask, but I know what she's probably going to bring up. My total loss of control of my emotions last night as I spiraled into a panic attack right in front of her, most likely. I don't blame the look on her face right now. I would've been taken aback too. Now that I think back on it, I was totally overreacting. I don't think bottling up these emotions is very healthy…

"Well, you were fine for most of the night, but near the end you seemed to have… a bit of a breakdown. Then you made a date. Then you wouldn't really talk the rest of the night, even when I drove you home. I just want to make sure you're feeling okay." Tori explained, concern still etched on her face.

"Oh, I'm fine, Tori. You know me. Crazy Cat!" I giggle and wave my arms around for emphasis. She doesn't look satisfied, so I continue, "I probably just had too many cupcakes. Sugar rushes, you know? It happens."

"Okay, if you're sure." She eyes me suspiciously for a second, but I can see the worry draining away.

"Nothing to worry about." I affirm while tapping her gently on the head. She finally breaks out into a small grin, and I have a little inner dance of victory.

"Yeah, I guess you were stressed after your weekend too. Well, you can sugar-stress freak the freak out to me anytime." She jokes. I laugh at her reference.

"I may take you up on that offer. So, how was the rest of your night?" I change the subject.

"It was good. I recorded the song on piano and wrote down the lyrics." She explains as she waves a CD and paper in my face. "I'll probably give it to Andre to listen to at lunch. I'm sure he'll love it."

"Kay, kay! I'm excited for him to hear it." I gush. We hear the strange bell signal the warning to get to class.

"Want to walk to Sikowitz together?" She asks.

"Absolutely!" I agree and happily skip next to her as we travel to the classroom.

"So, are you excited about your date on Friday?" She asks. I let out a soft sigh. I still feel a bit sick about that. I don't want to fall back into the pattern of dating guys just to distract myself from Tori. But after I got back home last night, I thought it might be fun anyway. It's just sushi. I don't have to date him, right? I can just feign Cat ignorance and say I thought it was just a platonic date.

"Yeah, I love sushi!" I slightly side-step the question.

"Haha, I know. Hopefully you'll like the guy, too?" She asks.

"He seems nice."

"And… well built."

"You think he's good at carpentry?" I ask innocently. She laughs and shakes her head. Did I miss something?

"No, I mean he's very large and muscular." She explains. Oh. Why can phrases be so confusing to me sometimes?

"Ohhhh. Yeah, I guess he goes to the gym a lot. Healthy living's a good sign!" I exclaim. She laughs.

"It sure is."

We get into Sikowitz's class just as the final bell rings. We take our seats amongst the random other students that I don't know at all.

"Morning, Cat!" Robbie greets.

"Hi Robbie! Your nose looks purpler than yesterday." I observe. He flushes.

"That's 'cause Rex hit me in the nose last night in my sleep." He whined. Rex's head perks up.

"Liar. This moron had one of those weird jerk sensations and hit his nose off my head." Rex defended.

"Ooh, I love that feeling!" I smile.

"You're a weird ginger, aren't you?" Rex sighs.

"I love ginger too! It's great in gingerbread. But it isn't Christmas. Do you have any anyway?" I ramble.

"Case and point." Rex finishes. I just pout. I wanted gingerbread.

"Where's Sikowitz?" Beck asks.

"Who knows? He's probably trying to sky dive through the window today." Andre suggests.

"Great. Maybe his parachute will fail and we'll get out of class today." Jade drawls.

"Jade!" Tori gasps.

"What?" Jade huffs.

"You can't say that about a teacher! Plus, he's our friend! We've been through a lot as a group!" Tori scolds.

"Whatever. He's not here." Jade shrugs.

"Oh yes I am."

We all simultaneously look toward the source of the voice, which is the ceiling. Most of the class gawks (I giggle) at the sight of Sikowitz hanging from the light fixture. He drops down in front of Jade who gives a surprised shriek. He clumsily gets back and pulls out a coconut with a straw.

"What have we learned from this, Miss West?" He asks as he casually sips from the coconut.

"That you're completely insane?!" Jade growls. He lets out a maniacal laugh.

"Oh, Jade, you already knew that. No, the lesson was to expect the unexpected, even if the expected unexpected is nowhere in sight!" He explains. The class tilts their head in confusion.

"Ugh, whatever. It's too early for this." Jade complains.

"I also heard that comment about you wishing I would fall to my splattery doom from an airplane, which I found incredibly insensitive. 10 points from Slytherin!" He exclaims.

"Uh, sir, this ain't Hogwarts." Andre states. I hear a slight "I wish" come from Robbie.

"Yeah, and why am I in Slytherin?" Jade glowers.

"Because you would make even the Gryffindor cower in fear, eat the Hufflepuffs alive, and stab anyone in Ravenclaw with scissors when they tried to have an academic debate with you." Sikowitz accuses. Jade gives an evil smirk and bobs her head in agreement. "But regardless, Andre is right. So instead of taking points away, Jade, you will help me with my demonstration for the lesson today." He states.

"Fine." Jade says as she joins Sikowitz on the stage. He pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to Jade.

"Here, read this." He urges. Jade dully looks at the piece of paper.

"I didn't steal the cookies from the cookie jar." She states. Sikowitz stares at her with a bored look on his face.

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe you at all. Convince me!" He instructs. Jade lets out a huff before shaking herself out to get into character. Her face hardens into a determined glare.

"I didn't steal the cookies from the cookie jar!" She shouts.

"Raising the volume does not make you any more correct!" Sikowitz taunts. Jade looks frustrated before putting on a sad, pathetic face and her lip quivers.

"I… I didn't steal the cookies from the cookie jar…" She mumbles, looking like she's about to cry.

"You're using manipulative techniques which show me you don't believe it yourself! You need to believe you did not steal from the cookie jar!" Sikowitz continues to instruct. Jade stares at Sikowitz right in the eye.

"I didn't steal the cookies from the cookie jar." She states pointedly.

"Did you not? Did you really not?" He goads. Jade beings to get more frustrated.

"I. Did. Not. Steal. The. Cookies. From. The. Cookie. Jar."

"Yes, you did!"

"No, I did not!"

"What didn't you do?!"

"I didn't steal the cookies from the damn cookie jar."

"YOU LIAR."

"I DIDN'T STEAL THE COOKIES FROM THE COOKIE JAR."

Suddenly, Sikowitz bounds forward and grabs Jade by the shoulders. His face is red as he shouts in her face. I see Beck tense up from the corner of my eye. "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. YOU DID STEAL THE COOKIES!"

"I didn't!"

"Make me believe it! SWEAR TO ME!"

"I… I didn't steal the cookies from the cookie jar! Please! I swear! I didn't steal the fucking cookies! I didn't steal the cookies from the cookie jar." Jade desperately chokes out. She looks legitimately convinced and in that last statement, I don't think anybody would have believed she took the cookies. Sikowitz smiles and releases her.

"Very good, Jade. You may sit down."

"Damnit, Sikowitz." Jade groans as she takes her seat next to Beck.

"So, what, you're teaching us how to lie?" Beck asks.

"Not quite, Beck. Instead, I'm teaching you how to give a truthful performance. In order to give a truthful performance, you must be able to believe it yourself." Sikowitz explains.

"But haven't we been giving truthful performances this whole time? Isn't that what acting is?" Tori asked.

"Not exactly. You see, as much as I think you children are particularly gifted in almost everything you do, there is still much more work to be done when perfecting your performance. In fact, learning to act isn't merely a class. It's a life experience. So when you're acting, you need to be making your own discoveries the whole time rather than simply reciting lines and doing choreographed movements. Surprise yourself! This is what it means to give a truthful performance." Sikowitz deals out his wisdom.

"But how do we do that?" I ask.

"By using the impulse of outside sources in order to bring yourself to that point of making discoveries and believing what you're saying. As much as I'd love to scream in your faces all day, I can't do that all the time. So you'll have to find your own external sources." He instructs. "So, today we will be assigning difficult text that you must 'tell' us, not recite it. You must study the text in order to find out who the object of the text is for, and then find someone or something in your own life you can relate it to, and say it to that person as if it were coming from your own thoughts."

"What kind of texts?" Robbie asks.

"Shakespeare!" Sikowitz exclaims, holding his coconut as if the famous skull for emphasis. "Specifically his sonnets. Each of you will receive a number, rehearse it, and then recite it to each other as truthfully as you possibly can at the end of class." Sikowitz raises his eyebrow mischievously. "The person who gives the most truthful performance will win a special prize."

The class gives an excited murmur but the six of us give each other skeptical looks. Robbie starts to ask, "What kind of pri-"

"Here's the bowl of sonnets. Everybody choose. And begin!" He bellows as he leaps out of the classroom through the back door. We give each other looks again before mobbing up to the bowl to choose our sonnets. I pick up my paper. Sonnet #29.

We spend the next half hour reading over our sonnets with scrutiny. We picked out the rhyming schemes, the repetitive words, and the antithesis as well as dissecting the meaning of the Shakespearian language to figure out who Shakespeare was talking to during this poem. In my case, my sonnet is about going through a rough time, but being able to get through it thanks to someone that I love deeply.

After thirty minutes, Sikowitz comes back with an expectant look on his face. "I assume you all had adequate enough time reviewing your sonnets?" He inquired.

"As ready as we'll ever be." Moaned Tori nervously.

"Excellent. Everyone move the chairs out of the way to make space." He claps his hands. We push the chairs out of the way and stand in a line, facing Sikowitz. "Now, you're all going to walk about the space and when you feel the impulse, you may say your sonnet to someone or multiple people. Everybody must stop and listen. Then, I will give a bit of feedback before you start to mingle again. You may use your paper for reference – I don't expect you to already have it memorized. However, remember to be truthful! Connect with the text and your breathing. And… begin!"

We all start walking around the room in random patterns. I feel the nervous pit in the centre of my stomach. Weird, I usually don't get this nervous when acting, but this is nerve-wracking. I guess it's because it's so honest and about ourselves. Andre and Jade go almost immediately, followed by some other classmates that didn't stand out as much. As Robbie is saying his, I know I should go soon. The impulse is building, and I feel anxious.

"Um… yes, good, Robbie. It would have been better if your puppet hadn't been translating your lines into modern English while you were saying it." Sikowitz criticizes.

"I told you!" Robbie complains to Rex.

"Excuse me, but if it weren't for me then nobody would have any idea what you were talking about." Rex shot back. Robbie just groaned.

"And, continue walking!"

I circle the room and take a deep breath. Here I go…

"When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes I all alone beweep my outcast state," I start. My voice is quivering and heavy with emotion. The class stops to stare at me, and I find myself talking directly to Tori.

"And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries." I continue, my voice dripping with frustration. "And look upon myself, and… curse my fate." I spit out the word curse as if it were a dirty word, my emotions filled with the actual hatred I feel for myself. I see Tori looking at me with compassion, urging me to continue.

"Wishing me to like one more rich in hope. Featured like… him! Like him with friends possess'd." This sonnet is kind of perfect for me. And it's perfect that I'm saying this to Tori. I wouldn't confide my deep dark insecurities to anybody else. She continues to look at me with soft eyes. It warms my heart and breaks it at the same time.

"Desiring this man's art… and that man's scope. With what I had most enjoyed," I say with a smile dancing on my lips, thinking about baking cupcakes. Then I think about how everything turned sour when my feelings got in the way. My smile drops and tears fill my eyes.

"…Contented least. Yet… in these thoughts, myself almost despising." My lip quivers. "Haply I think on-" my throat catches, and I realize I can't continue while looking directly at Tori. I'm not ready. I tear my gaze from hers to instead look at a random in the room.

"…thee. And then my state," my eyes brighten up with relief, both relief from the lifted weight of vulnerability and with the realization that the text is telling me. "Like to the lark at break of day arising. From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate."

I allow Tori's face to fill my vision again for a moment, and the voice that came out of me next seemed almost a stranger. It was terrifying. "For thy _sweet_ love remember'd such _wealth _brings." I sigh out. I feel overwhelming emotion start to overpower me, and I quickly shut Tori out of my brain. Dropping the intent, I finish the sonnet off safely.

"That then I scorn to change my state with kings."

The class claps politely. Sikowitz ponders for a moment before commenting, "Very nice, but you're holding back. The sadness was very sincere, as if you yourself were suffering from depression. However, there are two parts to this sonnet – the sadness and the happiness. I only received the happiness from you during one line, and you seemed to be making the most discoveries there. Trust yourself, Cat. Embrace the happiness, as I know you can." Sikowitz finishes.

"Kay, kay! Thanks!" I say. I know I need to work on allowing myself to be more vulnerable. It's weird. Usually I'm really good at taking risks!

The class continues to walk, and more people say their sonnets. I notice Tori hasn't said hers yet. As we're walking, I sneak a glance at her and notice her biting her lip nervously. Soon it's down to her and Beck, and Beck goes first.

"Fantastic job, Beck. Your smoulder really compliments you with this sonnet. Very truthful!" Sikowitz praises.

"Thanks, chief." Beck says. Everybody turns to Tori expectantly, who seems to be trying to keep calm.

"What?" She squeaks.

"You're next, Vega. Let's see what you got." Jade sneers.

"Can't we do the walking around thing first while I get ready?" Tori pleads.

"Very well. Carry on with your wandering, class." Sikowitz urges. We begin to wander once again, and I see Tori counting silently. Finally she reaches a certain number, plants herself in a present state, and begins. She turns to Beck.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" She starts, facing Beck.

"NO!" Jade explodes, causing Tori to jump and turn, facing directly towards me. She collects herself before continuing, walking closer and staring straight into my eyes.

"Thou art more lovely… and more temperate." She says softly. My breath catches.

"Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, and summer's lease hath all too short a date." She explains to me. "Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines and often… his gold complexion dimm'd." She has a far off look in her eye while she confides in me her thoughts on the imperfections of summer. "And every fair from fair sometimes declines by chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd."

She moves closer now, her expression brightening as she gives a sincere smile. The way she's looking at me… I have to fight not to look away. No matter what, I must stay with her in this moment.

"But thy eternal summer shall _not _fade. Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest…" She breathes. Her expression changes to the most determined look I've ever seen as she utters out, "_Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade." _

She reaches out and gently grasps my hand. Her eyes borrowing into mine. She's clinging to the gaze, as if she ever broke it, she would lose me forever. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and tell her I'm not going anywhere.

"When in eternal lines to time thou growest. So long as there are people on this earth!" She declares. Her expression becomes very soft, and she's looking at me as if seeing me for the very first time. Her other hand reaches up to cup my cheek. I feel an almost uncontrollable need to check my pulse to see if my heart is still beating.

"So long lives this… and this, gives life to thee." She mutters to me, as if I'm the only one who should hear it. As if I'm the most precious thing in the world.

Oh, my god.

We stand there silently for what felt like forever, our connection unbreakable. Beck begins a slow clap, which the rest of the class soon joins in with, filling the room with whooping cheers. She breaks into a grin which I mirror. She releases my hand and slips her hand off my cheek. I join into the applause as I step away from her.

"That was incredible, Tori!" I beam. She continues to grin, although her cheeks are pink with an intense blush. Even Jade is slightly tapping her hands together while rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, she was alright, I guess." Jade grumbles.

"Indeed! Settle down, class." Sikowitz lowers his hands and the roar quiets down. I'm still looking at the blushing Tori with a prideful look. She glances shyly towards Sikowitz. "Tori! That was marvelous, a real sight to behold! You have certainly blossomed as an actor over the past year. The sincerity in that sonnet was impressive. You captured the feeling behind the words expertly – that deep feeling of love that is so intense that you would do anything to keep them with you, and alive. You expressed that very well to Cat." He critiqued. Tori and I are both blushing now.

"Really? Alright then! Do I get points?" Tori asks with glee.

"Hahahaha! No. But…" Sikowitz's mischievous look returns, "I think you do deserve the special prize!"

"No way!" Tori cheers.

"No way!" Jade groans.

"Yep, you receive…" He pulls out two small pieces of paper. "Two coupons for a free, all-inclusive day of pampering at a local day spa!"

"Oh, cool!" Tori says, taking the coupons gratefully.

"Hold up, what if a guy won? Dudes don't 'spa'." Andre complains.

"Ah, never underestimate the positive effects of TLC! Even males should appreciate it in stressful times, such as final exams happening in a few weeks." Sikowitz lectures.

"Yeah… he's right…" Robbie sighs. Everybody turns to look at Robbie.

"You see, this is why nobody really likes you." Rex jeers.

"Hey!" Robbie whines. The bell sounds, ending our class.

"Alright, guess that's it for today, class. See you tomorrow! And continue to practice to be truthful in everything you do!" Sikowitz cries, leaping out the window as he does so. I grab my bag at the side of the room. My heart's still pounding from that whole experience. When I turn around, Tori is already gone.

"That was intense." Beck states.

"Yeah…" I agree. We begin to leave the room.

"Hey, Cat." Jade gets my attention.

"Uh huh?"

"You okay? You know… after that?" She asks. She almost looks concerned.

"Yeah! Of course I am." I grin.

"Alright, whatever." Jade shrugs as we head off to our next class.

Jade went off with Beck somewhere after second period (probably the janitor's closet, haha. Ew.) and I'm sitting with Robbie and Andre at our usual lunch table. I haven't seen Tori yet, which is probably a good thing. I can't get that look she was giving me during sonnets out of my head. I had to keep telling random stories to distract myself.

"…So then, my brother and the dolphin attacked the guy in the Killer Whale costume. He kept yelling, 'sushi are friends, not clothes!' I'm starting to think that my brother has some weird control over animals." I explain. Andre and Robbie give me a blank stare.

"Uh, Cat, that was an odd answer to 'Can you pass the ketchup?'" Andre comments.

"Yeah, that was a weird story all around!" Rex chimes in.

"I thought it was funny." Robbie defends me.

"No you didn't, fool. You're just hoping you'll get another kiss from the redhead." Rex accuses.

"…That's awkward." I mumble.

"Yeah that's messed up, man." Andre agrees. Robbie gives another groan.

"Hey guys." I hear the beautiful voice of Tori as she sits herself down beside Robbie, across from me.

"Sup, Tori? Can you pass me the ketchup?" Andre asks.

"Sure." Tori laughs and passes over the red tube. "Oh, and I have something else for you. Cat and I wrote a song last night." She says, pulling out the CD and lyrics from earlier.

"You two wrote a song together? Aw, you're breaking my heart. I feel like you been cheating on me." Andre jokes. "Give it here. I'll give it a listen." He promises as he grabs our song from her. She glances over to me and gives me a sweet smile that makes my heart melt. She's making me feel so giddy.

"Oh, did Cat tell you guys?" Tori asks. I look at her with confusion.

"Tell us what?" Robbie asks. Andre and Robbie look at me, and I just shrug.

"Can I tell them?" Tori asks excitedly.

"S-sure?" I say.

"Cat has a date this Friday!" She exclaims. Oh, right. That.

"Congrats, lil red!" Andre pats me on the head.

"DAMNIT!" Robbie cries. We look at him with shock. "I mean… DAMNIT that's good news!"

"Thanks, guys." I say with faux cheer. My giddiness from Tori's sonnet earlier has now all but dissipated.

"Where'd you meet him?" Andre asked.

"At laser tag." I answer.

"Cool. I feel like I set you guys up somehow. Haha!" Andre cheered.

"You're dating one of the terminators?" Robbie asked glumly. I look over to Tori for help, but she's just stilling there beaming like it's the happiest news on earth. Sigh.

"I'm not dating him. I'm just going on a date." I explain.

"That's called dating!" Robbie argues. I open my mouth to protest but close it shut when I see Jade and Beck coming over to us.

"Hey, freaks. Whatcha talking about?" Jade asked.

"We were talking about how Cat-" Andre started, but as a knee-jerk reaction I quickly change the subject.

"Hey look! Sinjin is playing the Obo while Zorbing!" I cry out, pointing. I don't know why I didn't want Jade to know about my date. It's probably because I know she knows that I still have feelings for Tori, and she's always given me disapproving looks whenever I've tried dating someone to get over her. And when Jade judges you, that's a big problem.

"Huh, so he is. But I think that's a didgeridoo." Andre says. He is? I look over and sure enough, Sinjin is rolling around in a human sized hamster ball while playing a didgeridoo. What a strange coincidence. I've got an idea.

"It's also about to rain bibble!" I claim. The table turns to look at me staring at the sky expectantly. Nothing happens. "Dang it. That never works for me." I pout.

"…Anyway, we were talking about-" Andre starts. I hold my breath.

"Whatever, I never cared anyway. Beck just told me to ask to be polite." Jade says, sliding down to the table. Beck rolls his eyes and joins her. I let out my breath in relief.

"Good job with the sonnet today, Tori." Beck compliments. Tori flushes again.

"Thanks, I thought you were really truthful too, though. I can't believe I got the prize over you." Tori admits.

"Spa's aren't my thing anyway. Just give me a car to fix and that's all the TLC I need." Beck shrugs.

"It sure was impressive how you pulled that performance out of your ass, though, Vega." Jade jeers.

"Thanks. I… think." Tori says cautiously.

"Seriously, though. You've only been going to this school and taking acting classes for a year. You shouldn't seem this experienced." Jade goads further.

"Alright, Jade…" Beck starts, but Jade raises a hand to silence him.

"I guess you must have had a pretty good external muse." Jade continues. Where is she going with this? "Was it because of Cat?"

I tense up and give Jade a hard stare. But Tori's next words nearly make me well up with tears.

"Well, I do love Cat and I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her ever, so I guess that helped, yes." Tori says with a straight face, looking pointedly at Jade. I give Tori a nice, grateful smile but she avoids my eyes, still in war mode with Jade.

"Interesting." Jade smirks.

"Yeah, having best friends can really help inspire you sometimes. Maybe you should try it, Jade. Maybe you could actually improve." Tori taunts. Ooh, good one. Jade stands up menacingly but Beck gets up first and puts his arm in front of Jade.

"Ooookay. We're going to leave now. This was a lovely lunch, as always. We should do it again sometime. Or, you know, not. Bye now!" Beck says, literally dragging a fuming Jade away.

"Cat fight." Rex jokes.

"I wasn't fighting." I argue. Rex gives an exasperated sigh. I turn to Tori. "That was a sweet thing for you to say." I smile.

"Well, it's true. You are like my best friend. Of course I care about you like that." Tori states. I know it's not exactly what I want… but I'll take it.

"I care about you, too." I let myself admit. She just… doesn't know how much.

"You guys are giving me a tooth ache." Andre groans.

"Wait until you hear our song." Tori laughs.

"I'll get right on that, then. After the dentist." Andre kids. The bell signals, meaning the end of lunch. We all gather our stuff to head to third period.

"You coming, Tori?" Robbie asks.

"Yeah, in a bit. I'm going to throw my stuff out first. I'll meet you in class." Tori assures. We all nod and walk off.

As I turn the corner to head into the school, I catch a glimpse of Tori near the garbage bins. I swear, it almost looks like she was lightly hitting her head off her lunch tray.

* * *

**Author's Notes: I never thought poetry was romantic until I wrote this chapter. And this is actually a really short chapter for me.**

**Also, guys, you're in no way obligated to review, and I can't force you, but... If you have the time, I would really appreciate it. Writing this story is taking hours and hours out of my days, and I wouldn't mind knowing that it's worth it. Seeing a new review makes my heart swell up like nobody's business. So... The text box is down there... To those who have already reviewed: You know who you are. And I love you all. I hope you can feel my virtual hugs.**

**Fun Fact: Cat's sonnet in this chapter, Sonnet #29, was the sonnet I had to recite for one of my classes and what I was trying to work on the most with it was talking "to" someone and not "at". Tori's sonnet was Sonnet #18. You should look up the meaning. It's a beaut.**


	4. Try To Relax

**Disclaimer: You know, I only put this here because other Fanfiction writers do, and they seem to have fun with it. I want fun. Also I don't own Victorious.**

* * *

Sikowitz's class the next day wasn't nearly as intense as it was yesterday. We just did a few drive-by acting exercises and talked about our final monologues. Now I'm on nutrition break before second period, casually eating a granola bar. I'm walking through the front hall of the school when Robbie comes up to me.

"Hey, Cat…" He starts shyly.

"Hi Robbie!" I greet happily through a bite of my granola bar.

"I wanted to talk to you about something…" He shifts his feet and averts my eyes.

"What is it?" I ask, curious.

"Um… well…"

"He wants to apologize for being a nub yesterday." Rex chimes in. "You know, with the whole obvious jealousy about you going on a date and such."

"Yeah, I am sorry. I really am happy for you." Robbie admits.

"Are you sure? Because, I thought we talked about this…" I say pityingly.

"We did! And I totally heard you out. I know I may still say some awkward things, but, I'm over you, Cat. Just friends. I promise." He says sincerely.

"Well, thanks Robbie!" I smile and give him a hug. I hand him my granola bar wrapper and skip away as I hear Rex.

"Don't believe him! He still loves you!"

"Why do you hate me, Rex?! Why?!" Robbie whines.

"Do you REALLY want me to get started on that list again…?"

I ignore the whole Robbie drama. I feel a bit bad, but I have to focus on the task at hand. I need to find and talk to somebody… and there she is by her locker!

"Hi Jade!" I say. She's looking at her phone.

"Hi, Cat."

"Can we talk for a minute?"

"No."

"Great! Come with me!" I ignore her answer and grab her arm, dragging her with me to the janitor's closet. She lets out an exasperated grunt but doesn't fight me. Once we get into the closet, I close the door. She stares at me with an irritated expression.

"Okay, what do you want?" She sighs, crossing her arms.

"Why did you ask Tori yesterday if I helped fuel her impulse for the sonnet?" I ask, feeling a bit nervous. She just shrugs.

"I was genuinely curious. Besides, I like getting a rise out of Vega."

"Curious about her acting ability?" I wonder.

"Well, that's the thing. Vega can't act worth shit-"

"Yes, she can!"

"-so I was wondering what made this so different. And so, I was genuinely curious if maybe she wasn't acting at all. I mean, she portrayed a pure love for you. I wanted to figure out if it was real or not." Jade explained.

"At my expense?" I accuse her, offended.

"Sorry, not sorry." Jade brushes it off. "Are we done?"

"No… what did you find out?" I inquire. "If her feelings were real or not… I mean."

"It was hard to say. She kind of made me a little angry. Not that that's anything new. So, sorry. I can't help you there. What does it matter to you, anyway? I told you a long time ago to get over her." Jade scolds.

"That hasn't worked out very well." I pout.

"See, this is why I asked if you were okay yesterday after the sonnet." Jade huffed.

"Well, I was okay. And wasn't okay. It's complicated!" I groan. "Thanks for caring, though."

"I don't care. I just… ugh. Can I go back to not doing this yet?" Jade grumbles.

"Not quite. I need your help." I plead. She rolls her eyes.

"What now?"

"Well… This… What I'm feeling…" I stumble awkwardly over my words… looking at the ground. My eyes fill with tears as I let some of my emotions rush to the surface. I look into her eyes with all the sadness and pain I've been feeling for the past few months. "It's killing me."

I actually notice her hardened exterior seem to soften a bit with pity, but she still keeps up her sarcastic barrier. "So, what do you want me to do about it?"

"I don't know… Nobody hates Tori more than you do. So, I don't know. Convince me not to like her anymore?" I ask hesitantly. "I mean, I don't want to hate her. I just don't want to have these… romantic feelings anymore."

Jade's lips quickly curl up into a wicked smile. "I like this game." She says coolly. She over turns a garbage bin and props herself up on it. "So, let's start with this. What don't you like about Vega?" She interrogates. I twist my mouth as I think about it.

"I don't know. I hate the way I feel about her." I say.

"That doesn't count. You have to say what you don't like about her. Pick anything about her. Talk about how much you hate it. In extensive detail." Jade urges, her wicked grin returning.

"I can't think of anything!" I whine.

"Here, I'll get you started. It's easy." Jade offers. "For example, I hate her stupid face. I hate her stupid superior attitude. I hate how she always has to be in the spotlight. I hate her stupid voice. I hate her stupid fashion choices. Hey, this would be a great segment for The Slap." Jade tangents.

"I don't feel any of those things about Tori." I mumble.

"Why, do you think she's perfect?" Jade accuses.

"No! Nobody's perfect…" I admit.

"Then say what you hate about her!" Jade snaps.

"But I don't hate anything about her! I mean… yes, she has her flaws. When she gets into a desperate situation, or is backed into a corner, she can do… crazy things. Like hiding in a fake vending machine. Or spraying hot cheese. I mean, one time she handcuffed me and gave me hot candy so I would give her information. But she still cared about me and gave me the water even when I didn't give her the information…" I ramble.

"Didn't she leave you handcuffed, though?" Jade raised an eyebrow.

"Well, yes, but we weren't as close then, anyway." I huff. "Point is, we're all a little eccentric. Sometimes, Tori can disregard other's feelings when she's stressed. But hey, she's only human. I admire her determination because I never have the same guts to do what she does to get the job done. But for the most part, she's very caring. And I know that, because… even when I myself am at my craziest, she still accepts me. So I should accept her. And I do. Her and all her flaws. That's why I like her so much in the first place." I finish.

Jade looks at me and I can see her running her tongue over her teeth thoughtfully. Finally, she sighs. "Well, you're too far gone. I can't help you."

"What, why?!" I ask desperately.

"Did you just listen to yourself? You're practically in love with her!"

"No I'm not! I don't even know how we'd be romantically…" I pout.

"Well, you're close enough from my stand-point." Jade shrugs. She hops off the garbage bin. "Looks like this is just something you'll have to get over in time."

"Oh… okay…" I whimper. She lets out another exasperated sigh.

"Look, Cat, I'm sorry for what you're going through. I really am. Just… keep thinking about bunnies, or sprinkles, or whatever your crazy cartoon brain thinks of. This isn't the end of the world. " Jade provides some advice. "Anyway, we're late for second period. Come on."

She exits the closet, and I stay there for a moment in the dark biting my lip, wrestling with my thoughts. I just want to wake up. Jade's right. It's not the end of the world. But this _is_ a nightmare.

* * *

"Hi, Tori!" I call out from behind the girl in question when I run into her at lunch. She visually jumps at my greeting, nearly dropping her food.

"Oh, hi Cat." She gives a nervous greeting.

"Sorry, did I scare you?" I ask.

"No, no it's fine… I just…" She looks around anxiously. After a few glances she lets out a sigh of relief before turning to me. "Nothing. Hi, Cat. You look nice today."

"Thanks! So do you!" I grin. Tori giggles.

"Shucks… So, can I ask you something?" Tori asks, no longer nervous. But she seems to be clouded with confusion about something.

"Sure, Tori. Anything." I urge. She sighs.

"Well, earlier, I-" She gets a freighted look on her face as she sees something behind me. I'm tempted to look, but her weird disposition is concerning me too much.

"What's going on, Tori? You seem jumpy. And not the good kind of jumpy like a bunny." I ask. Jade was right. Maybe I should think of bunnies more often.

"No I'm fine. But I can't talk to you right now. See you later." She turns to leave but I place my hand on her arm.

"Tori… you're not trying to push me away again, are you?" I ask with hurt filling my voice. Her disposition immediately melts away and she gives me an apologetic look.

"Oh, Cat, of course not. I swear to you. I just can't talk right now, but we will later. I promise." Tori assures me.

"Kay, kay, Tori." I submit. She gives me a small smile before quickly walking away. Jade strolls up beside me. I notice she's holding one of her favourite pairs of scissors. I hope she wasn't torturing a poor freshman again.

"What were you and Vega talking about?" She asks.

"Nothing. She was being weird and flighty." I explain.

"What else is new?" She shrugs. "Listen, Cat, I was thinking about our obnoxious chat earlier. You're not going to want to hear this, but I think you should take a break from Vega for a while. Maybe becoming not as close with her is just what you need to get over her."

"What? But I don't want to lose the friendship I have with Tori! It's one of my favourite things in life." I cry.

"Sure. Whatever. But believe me, your friendship will suffer a lot more if you keep going the way you are." Jade warns. "If you know what's good for you, you would start distancing yourself from Vega as soon as possible. Seriously." Then she walks away as well.

How do I let someone that I gravitate towards so well go?

Apparently it wouldn't be too difficult. For the rest of that day and the next day, Tori avoided me like the plague. I would go up to her at her locker, and she would immediately become all nervous again and excuse herself. I guess it's easier this way. If she really does want to push me away, then Jade's advice to get over Tori would be easy. So, I should accept this new avoiding attitude, and I should reciprocate in the same fashion. Right?

"Cat, honey, Tori is here to see you." I hear my mom call from downstairs.

Screw distancing myself.

I immediately run downstairs gleefully and up to the door. Tori is there with a wide smile on her face. I'm so happy to see her happy to see me again and not being all avoid-y that I quickly jump on her in a hug.

"TORI!" I squeal.

"Haha. Hi to you too, Cat." Tori laughs, returning the hug. I hesitantly release her.

"What brings you here?" I ask. Tori raises her eyebrow and gives me a smirk.

"Well you know how you have that date tomorrow, right?" Tori asks.

"Yep! What about it?"

"Well, I thought maybe we could do something together to get prepared for it. If you don't mind." Tori offers. I cock my head to side.

"Like what?"

"Like… this!" She pulls out the two free spa day coupons. My eyes light up at the prospect of having a relaxing spa time with Tori. She notices and laughs. "So, you're interested?"

"Absolutely!" I exclaim. She gives me a bright smile.

"Alright, then! Come on, let's go." She says.

"Bye, mom! I'm going to the spa with Tori!" I call into the house.

"Have fun, dear." She calls back and I close the door. I'm on cloud nine as I'm skipping to Tori's car. I'm really glad they let her take the test again and she was able to pass.

"Okay, what kind of music do you want to listen to?" Tori asks as we get in the car.

"Um, anything you want, I suppose." I say.

"Perfect!" She claims as she slips in a CD. I suddenly hear a very poppy, happy and familiar beat. Tori is smirking as she pulls away from the driveway.

"I recognize this…" I start.

"Yeah, Andre loved our song. This is what he added to it." She explains. I gasp. I love it. It sounds so cool. "All it needs is our vocals."

"It's awesome! …Let me hear you say ooo, ooo, can you keep it bottled up? Make it pop like pink champagne!" I sign along.

"In the purple rain!" Tori laughs and joins in. We finish the song and I'm feeling giddy. We're giggling and joking like nothing was ever wrong. I want to ask about why she had been avoiding me, but I didn't want to ruin this moment already. So, I decided to ask in a round-about way.

"So, are you sure about using the second coupon on me? I mean, you could've given it to anybody." I ponder. Tori gives an incredulous laugh.

"Who else would I ask? Jade? Trina?"

"What about your mom?"

"I… don't think I'm on the best terms with her right now." Tori says, wrinkling her nose.

"Why? What's up?" I ask, concerned. She shakes her head.

"It's nothing. I'm probably blowing things out of proportion. Anyway, yeah, there was no one else I would rather take to a spa day with me than you. So, don't think anything of it." Tori admits. I blush. Well, I know she doesn't hate me if she wants to spend a spa day with only me.

"Thanks, Tori." I mutter. She just smiles.

She pulls into the spa parking-lot and we get out to go inside. "I'm surprised. It actually looks like quite the nice establishment. Good job, Sikowitz." Tori notes. I have to agree. The building certainly looks fancy with some Ancient Roman influence with modern architectural twists. That, and I can smell some of the sweet fragrances from out here.

"Seems much better than The Gorilla Club already." I joke in agreement. We enter and the front lobby is just as nice as the outside. Filled with warm colours, marble statues, flowing fountains, and shiny waxed floors. Tori walks up to the receptionist.

"Excuse me, we have these coupons for a free spa treatment…" Tori begins. The older receptionist looks at her from the top of her spectacles.

"May I see them?" She requests. Tori hands the two slips of paper over and the receptionist takes them, flipping them over to check the back. Her eyes widen and she goes pale. "These coupons were signed in the name of Erwin Sikowitz?!"

"Yes… he's our teacher… why, is there a problem?" Tori asks, worried.

"Well, no, I suppose not. They're still valid. It's just," The receptionist leans forward, reducing her voice to a hushed whisper, "You're not… like him, are you? You know… the mannerisms, and all that."

Tori and I exchange looks. "No, we're not." Tori answers.

"We are completely normal!" I add. Tori turns slightly towards me and raises her eyebrow. Okay, maybe I'm not completely "normal" by society's standards, but this woman doesn't have to know that! The receptionist breaks into a smile.

"Fabulous. Welcome to the Somerset Spa!" She says politely. She pulls out two brochures and places them in front of us. "These coupons allow you any three of the various spa services we provide. You can see the full list here on the brochure. Just simply check off three of the services you want, and then hand it back to me. Then I will arrange for some of our expert staff to come through and start off your relaxation journey." She explains. Tori and I glance at the brochures.

"Okay, well, since you're going on a date tomorrow, a mani and pedi are a must, as well as a facial. You'll be absolutely _glowing_ for him tomorrow." Tori chuckles. I blush and giggle. "Since the mani and pedi are offered as a package, we get one more choice. What do you want to do, Cat?" She asks.

"You're the one who won the sonnet contest. It should be your choice." I argue.

"I guess, but this is your day too." Tori says.

"Fine. I wouldn't mind doing something relaxing where I can turn my brain off, if that's alright with you." I decide.

"Total brain shut-down sounds awesome right now." Tori grins. "How about just a traditional massage?"

"Yes! So much yes!" I exclaim.

"Alright!" Tori laughs as she checks off the box. I check off the same boxes on my brochure and we hand them over to the receptionist. She gives a nod and picks up the office phone to call someone to get us. Not long after, a staff member with an overly soft voice comes to get us.

"Thank you for choosing Somerset Spa for your pampering and relaxation needs. If you follow me, I will bring you to your first relaxation destination in our personal nail salon, set up with the latest in nail care mechanics!" She pitches. I lean over close to Tori and whisper.

"What do you think Sikowitz did here to get such a reputation?"

"I can only imagine after all the shenanigans he pulls at school. Best not to think about it." Tori shrugs. I giggle at the use of shenanigans and nod.

"Agreed."

We're brought into a classy looking room that smells strongly of nail polish. We're lead to large leather recliner chairs with feet Jacuzzis and are shown a variety of colours. I choose a glittery pink for my fingers and a bright orange for my toes. Tori chooses a nice turquois for her fingers, and then a white with black line design for her toes.

Through the time we're getting our nails done, we just casually talk about random things like school and food, and even more random things like my tangents on weird events that happen to me or my family. As we're getting our legs moisturized (I'm glad I shaved my legs today), she brings up the date again.

"Are you sure about going on this date, tomorrow?" Tori asks.

"Yeah." No. "Why do you ask?" Maybe because I have feelings for you. Silly.

"Well, it's just that…" She tries to find the words awkwardly. She takes a deep breath. "Don't get offended, okay?"

"Sure." I agree. I know I often get offended, but I haven't asked Tori "what's that supposed to mean?!" for a long time because I've learned it's never her intent to offend me.

"You see, I just want to make sure you're not going on this date in order to… avoid something." Tori says slowly. I blink and nearly twitch my foot enough to kick to lady doing my nails in the face. Does she know something? Please don't let this be a repeat of Monday night…

"I don't think I'm avoiding anything." I lie. "What makes you think I am?"

"I talked to Robbie a while ago… He said you guys kissed." She admits. Robbie! I will take that puppet of his and shove it so far up his- "Do you have a crush on him?"

"No. Gross." I scoff. Sorry, Robbie can be really sweet sometimes but, no.

"Really? Because the way he told it, it was like you really, erm, connected." She says.

"Did he also tell you I ran away crying afterward?" I sigh.

"No, he failed to mention that." Tori blinked. "Although he's given me, uh, mouth to mouth before several times so I can understand that reaction."

I burst out laughing. "Yeah, but it wasn't just that. Robbie's a good friend, and I really don't like that Gabriella girl. She once tried to steal some of my candy from my bra. Talk about violation. That's only for my friends!" I fume. The two women doing our nails stop and stare at me for a second. "Anyway, I could never date Robbie. I had a concussion when he kissed me. I just responded because I was all confused but, really? Maybe I led him on a little bit. I don't know why I would do something like that…" Yes I do. It was another excuse to distract myself from Tori. At least, until I remembered it was _Robbie_. "I just can't see myself dating him. Ever."

"I understand. But he really likes you, you know." Tori sighs.

"Yeah, I just… don't think it's in the right way. I'm not saying I'm the most mature person in the world, either, but Robbie has a LOT of growing up to do emotionally." I explain. "He got the crush on me in the first place because I was trying to prove to him that stage kissing meant nothing. He… didn't get the point. Then he would make very inappropriate comments, where I didn't feel respected at all. And he has life-sized cardboard cut-outs of me, Tori! That's creepy!" I whine.

"He's admitted that he's hidden in the bush on my back porch. Believe me. I understand the creepiness." Tori agrees.

"And not just that, but let's not ignore the whole Rex thing. I mean, I know we don't mention it very often, but it's a puppet! I know we treat Rex like a separate entity, but the fact is that Rex is a way for Robbie to outlet that side of himself, and that side is a complete wazz-hole!" I rant. "He's a friend. But that's all he'll ever be." I finish.

"I didn't know you were so insightful about the subject." Tori acknowledges.

"I respect myself enough to know what I want, I guess." I shrug. And what I want is Tori. Ironically, that's one thing both Robbie and I have in common. We both want what we can't have.

Aww, now I feel all bad. Maybe I should apologize to him the next time I see him.

"Well, I'm really glad you respect yourself. Sorry for asking. I care, you know? I just want to make sure you know what you're doing when you go on this date tomorrow." Tori says.

"I know. Thanks, Tori." I smile at her.

"Okay, we're all done your nails. Would you like the facial now or massage?" Asks one of the women. Tori looks at me, and I suppose she noticed I was still a bit bothered by the whole prospect of dating Robbie.

"Massage, please." Tori requests.

It took me awhile to actually become relaxed during the massage. At the beginning, all I could think of was how both me and Tori were lying on tables in close proximity to each other, both practically topless. I know it shouldn't bother me that much but… god, it made me kind of nervous. The lady giving my massage kept muttering to herself about knots in my back. I wondered how my muscles must've got all tangled.

We couldn't carry a conversation very well while lying on our faces, so we just stayed silent mostly during this portion of the pampering. Eventually, the rhythmical movements of the expert masseuse got to me, and I found myself drifting out of my muddled thoughts and allowed myself to turn to jelly. I even started to imagine it was Tori giving me the massage. So nice, and gentle…

"Hey Cat… Cat, wake up." I feel a light hand on my shoulder while Tori's blurry voice reaches my ear. I pop my eyes open.

"Mmm, what happened? Is the massage over?" I ask groggily.

"Yeah, you fell asleep, silly." Tori giggles.

"Oh. That's embarrassing." I blush and giggle too.

"Not at all. They said it was normal and told me to wake you up gently. So, here I am." Tori explains.

"Oh, okay. Well thanks for waking me up." I yawn, propping myself up and turning to look at her. I see her eyes pop open wide and she whips her head in the other direction.

"Uh, Cat! You're… still not wearing a shirt. Or bra." Tori flushes. I look down in a panic to see that she's telling the truth. I snatch the towel up to cover myself.

"Oh, chiz!" I curse. Tori's still looking away.

"It's okay. Nothing I haven't seen before… on myself." She fumbles out. I turn away from her and start putting my bra and shirt back on. I feel… so awkward. I definitely didn't want Tori seeing that. At least, not like this.

"Um, how much did you see?" I ask.

"Not much, just a flash." Tori admits.

"Okay, good. It's safe to look, now." I say. She turns to face me with a smile, but her cheeks are a bit pink with embarrassment. "Wait, did you say you only saw a flash?"

We stare at each other for a moment before I start giggling uncontrollably. Pretty soon, she joins in as well and we're both red in the face from laughing. And just like that, awkwardness is gone, as best friends do.

"Come on, they said the room where we'll get our facials is around the corner." Tori chuckled, catching her breath.

"Kay, kay!" I breathe. We grab our stuff and walk to a room labeled "Natural Relaxation/Facials". I let out a small gasp as I enter. The room is forest theme with various bamboo branches littered throughout and a small, man-made stream running through the middle. It was dimly lit, but the fabricated night sky with twinkling lights, as well as multi-coloured lights along the ground, gave us enough visibility to traverse to the recliner chairs by the stream.

"Well. This is pretty." Tori noted. A woman there is ready with some products to put on our faces.

"This room is optimized for soothing the senses as you wait for the facial to set. Both of you may take a seat." She says. We do so, and a bit later we have green goop on our face and cucumbers over our eyes. "I'll leave you two for a while. I'll be back to check on you. Try not to move your faces too much during treatment."

I hear her leave, and we lay in silence for a bit listening to the sounds of the room. "This stuff is all tingly." I say.

"It's all part of the experience." Tori surmises.

"Do the cucumbers even do anything?" I ask.

"That's one of life's many mysteries and often debated topics. I hear they don't."

"So… can I eat them, then?" I giggle.

"I wouldn't recommend it." Tori laughs. "Oh, hold on." I hear her get up. Next thing I know, her arm is slung around me and I hear a click. The arm is removed and I hear her chuckle as she goes back to her chair.

"What did you just do?" I interrogate.

"Oh, nothing. Just a little picture for The Slap." She teases.

"Tori!" I whine.

"Don't worry about it. It's a great picture. Might get us some more followers." Tori convinces me.

"Well, alright. If you say so. I trust you." I submit.

"So, while we're here with nothing to do…" Tori starts.

"Yeah?"

"Remember on Wednesday when I started to ask something before I-"

"Ran away screaming?" I accuse.

"I was not screaming!" I could picture her scowling. I hope that didn't mess up her face mask. "But… yeah."

"What were you going to say?"

"Well… let me start from the beginning. During second period, we were working on a lighting project when Jade came over to me. She told me, very seriously, to stay away from you if I knew what was good for me." She explains. Jade said WHAT?! "I mean, normally I'm not too phased by Jade's threats anymore… in a public forum. But she seemed like she was really out for blood. I asked her why, and she was all," Tori drops her voice into a Godfather-esque imitation, "Don't worry about that. Just know that it'll be better for both of you if you just leave her alone. Or else." Tori let's her voice back to its normal frequency. "_And then she snipped a pair of scissors in front of my face_."

"She did that?" I ask, suddenly feeling no longer relaxed. I guess our talk in the closet upset her more than she let on.

"Well, yeah. That's why I ran away on Wednesday. She really freaked me out. So I was going to ask… why?" Tori finishes. Oh, god, how do I answer this without telling her that Jade was just trying to protect me from my own insane feelings?

"Oh, you know. Crazy Jade. What a kidder, am I right?" I laugh nervously.

"'Crazy' seems to be your excuse a lot lately. And yes, I agree Jade is crazy as all chiz, but she seemed really serious, and mad. So, like… did I do something wrong? Why is she trying to protect you from me?" Tori asks.

"I… I guess she feels threatened." I start to lie through my teeth. "You know, because we used to be best friends before you came along. Jade and I still are best friends, of course, but for the longest time Jade only had Beck and me. So, she probably feels worried that you'll steal me away." I have no idea where I pulled that from. I feel a bit bad about throwing Jade under the bus like this, but she shouldn't have confronted Tori like that!

"You know she thinks of you as more of a pet, right?" Tori asks.

"I find that flattering, coming from Jade."

"True." Tori sighs. "Okay, well if that's all. Can you sort all of this out with her so I can talk to you without having to fear for my life?" Tori request.

"Oh, I'm going to have a long chat with Jade. Don't you worry." I assure her.

"Great!" She exclaims.

"So… all that avoiding for the last two days, that was because of Jade?" I ask.

"Yes, of course. I wouldn't avoid you unless my life was in danger." Tori chuckles.

"Oh, thank god." I breathe. "I thought that maybe you'd finally gotten fed up with me. Some people find me a bit, um, overbearing."

"Why would I ever get fed up with you enough to not want your friendship anymore?" Tori asks.

"It's happened with other people before." I shrug.

"Oh, Cat, you should know by now that I'm not like that. I know I've lost it on you before, and I'm sorry for that. I don't have the best patience sometimes. But I know you're the sweetest thing ever, and most of the time I like your random personality. It keeps my life interesting, you know?" Tori assures me.

"Thanks, Tori. That means a lot." I grin. I feel my face mask crack. Uh oh.

"Great, you both moved your faces, didn't you?" We hear an exasperated voice come from the doorway.

* * *

Thankfully, the facials turned out well anyway. I feel absolutely relaxed everywhere in my body with pretty nails and the smoothest face ever. Tori dropped me off a while ago, and now, after dinner, I'm back in my room wrestling with my emotions.

Maybe Jade's right. Maybe I just need to push Tori away. But then I reflect on the day… As much as I wish it were a date, I really can't complain about anything. We make great friends, and she's proven several times that she cares about me and values my friendship. It's not like she's toxic. I can't let someone like that go. It would be cruel to myself and to her.

Jade was right in one aspect, though. I do have to wait this out. It'll be hard but, I can do it. Yeah.

My phone buzzes. It's Derek.

_Hey :) just wanted to check if we were still on for tomorrow lol. _

We'd actually been texting back and forth a bit since Monday. Just casual conversation. I knew he was 18 and was going to graduate from Northridge this year. He was going into computer science, but he also had a sports scholarship for football. So, brains and brawn. Go figure.

_Haha yes! Definitely! I'm looking forward to sushi :)_

_Good! I'm looking forward to seeing you again… :)_

In a very Jade like fashion, I roll my eyes. But no, he's being nice. I need to be nice back.

_Aww, that's cute hehe. See you tomorrow! _

He sends one single smiley face and I leave the conversation at that. I just want to get through the date tomorrow. I go to The Slap and I can't help the smile that erupts on my face.

On Tori's page, there's a big picture of the two of us with green faces. Me, with cucumbers on my eyes yet still looking pouty and confused. Her, with the cucumbers off her eyes and arm around me, giving an exaggerated open mouth smile. The caption reads:

**Had an amazing day with Cat today at the Spa! Thanks, Sikowitz! Love you, Cat! **

**Mood: Pampered. **

I like the photo and hug the phone to my chest. I love you too, Tori.

I really, really might.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Whoaaaa do I detect some sexual tension there after the massages? I think I do. Not quite a 'happy finish' but, eh.**

**Also, I had to address the Cabbie thing. It's fine if you ship it, but I really don't. All my reasons are the same ones Cat gave. However, I recognize it's practically canon. Ariana Grande even confirmed it in a recent interview. So, you know, for my story's purposes I had to squash it. Anyway, review please! I really do appreciate it immensely! All my love to those who have and will.**

**Fun Fact: The name "Somerset" comes from Bath in Somerset, England. I went there when I was 16. They have Ancient Roman baths there. People bathed in that water 2000 years ago, man. That's super cool. Great place to visit if you like old stuff. I wouldn't drive there, though.**


	5. Graffiti

**Disclaimer: I'm glad I don't own Victorious. I have no idea how I would translate this story to television. I also don't own Blackbird by The Beatles. **

* * *

"Jade West!" I fume the next day at school, storming up to the girl in question at her locker. In response she turns and hisses at me. I squeak and jump back, completely replacing my anger from before to uncertain fear. Ugh. "Um, I was just wondering why you told Tori to stay away from me." I mumble shyly. She rolls her eyes.

"Obviously the message didn't stick well if she got close enough to tell you." She scoffs.

"Please don't cut her with your scissors." I plead.

"No promises." She snorts.

"I'm starting to regret getting you that pair for Christmas." I mutter.

"No take backs." She sneers. "Anyway, believe me when I tell you I was just trying to help out. You said it yourself. Part of the reason you admire Vega so much is because she has the determination to get things done, which you don't. Knowing you, you'd probably just stand by and continue in your pity party while life passes you by because you have zero backbone." She lectures harshly. My lip trembles in response. "It's harsh, but true. So I took initiative for you. I gave you a way to stop the pain you're feeling."

"Yeah… but… I don't want to stop my feelings for Tori." I admit.

"So you enjoy being in constant pain? Damn, didn't know you had a masochist in you." Jade teases.

"Well, no. I don't _enjoy_ it, but… the whole reason I was keeping my… feelings… a secret in the first place is because I didn't want to lose Tori as a friend. If losing my feelings means losing such a wonderful friend, then forget it." I explain.

"That's just your crush on Vega talking." She exclaims. I tense up and look around.

"Jade! Careful, I don't think the people in the blackbox heard you!" I hush. She gets a mischievous look. Oh no.

"Oh, alright then," She takes a deep breath about to shout my feelings to the whole hallway when I clamp my hand over her mouth.

"Shhh!" I snap. Then, I feel a sharp pain on my palm, and I immediately retract it. "Ow! You bit my hand!"

"Don't touch my face. You're lucky you still have fingers." Jade glowers. "I was just teasing."

"It wasn't a very funny joke." I pout.

"I thought it was." She shrugs. "Anyway, if that's how you really feel, then I can't help a lost cause. But don't expect me to be all sympathetic when you come crying to me on her wedding day all depressed and suicidal. You'll only get an 'I told you so' from me." She warns.

"Fine. I can deal. No worries. As long as I'm still invited to her wedding as her friend, then I'll be fine." I try to convince Jade and myself.

"Sure you will." Jade scoffs.

"So you won't stab Tori?"

"Not for this reason, no." Jade sighs.

Good enough.

* * *

I haven't done anything particularly different to my appearance since school ended today. I mean, it's not like I feel any pressure to get a second date after this one, so I'm just going to go cute-casual, as usual. After-all, the spa yesterday gave me of a more dressy-up feel than I ever intended in the first place. I'm not even nervous. Just… indifferent. But I am going to eat so many California rolls.

My phone buzzes from a text from Tori.

_Fiteen minutes until seven! Good luck, girlie. Knock em dead ;) _

I smile. At least I have her support.

_Thanks! But I think killing on the first date is frowned upon :( _I send back.

_Aha, you probably have a point. Just have a good time, then. _

_Thanks, Tori!_

As I put my phone away, I call downstairs.

"Mom! Can you take me to Nozu?"

* * *

As I walk into the sushi place I notice how packed it is. I mean, it always is, usually, but today especially. I hope I can find a seat. Two guys are up in the Karaoke singing really badly, but it's okay because they're super into it and it makes me giggle.

"Hey, Cat!" I hear the deep voice call out to me. It even overpowers the music, bad singing, and the crowd. I look over and I see Derek, with his big white smile and muscular arm shot into the air, in the same booth I first talked to Evan. Great, that's a good omen.

Regardless, I smile back and wave frantically. I walk over and slide myself in across from him. "Hiiiii!" I greet him enthusiastically.

"Hey." He laughs. "Nice to see you again. You look great."

"Thanks! You do, too!" I say in response. He really does. In fact he looks pretty… dapper.

"You don't think it's too much?" He asks, looking down at himself.

"No, I enjoy people wearing fancy clothes to sushi places." I giggle.

"That's a relief then." He smiles. "So, what do you want? I'll pay, of course."

"Oh, you don't have to."

"Nonsense. I always make a point to pay for a girl's dinner. Even if the night goes very badly." He chuckles.

"Does the night go badly often?" I ask.

"Well… You know I go to Northridge. And the girls there have a…"

"Reputation?"

"Yeah! Last time I went out with a girl from my school, she stole my wallet!" He complains.

"I guess that's why you still paid for the meal." I giggle.

"Exactly." He smiles. "So if you promise not to steal my wallet, I'll pay for whatever sushi you want."

"Thank you, that's very kind." I giggle.

"I thought so."

At that moment, Mrs. Lee walks up with a notepad. "Hello girl who was in the play where they left my daughter hanging from the ceiling. Hello, big guy I don't know." She says. Derek looks at me and raises his eyebrow. I just shrug. "Can I take your order?"

"Cat?" Derek says looking at me.

"Um, an order of California rolls and a strawberry bubble tea, please." I give my order.

"I'll have an order of Las Vegas rolls and a green tea. And the bill is together." Derek says.

"Very well, I'll be back soon." Mrs. Lee says with boredom before walking away.

"You two seem close." Derek chuckles.

"It's a long story." I sigh.

"We got time." He flashes a smile.

So I explain the story to him, and after our food came I told even more stories of our crazy adventures at Hollywood Arts. He seemed genuinely interested in everything I said, and let out a booming laugh regularly. He even seemed to like my family stories and my ramblings.

He told me some stories too. Like, one time he thought it would be fun to take a lion taming class over a summer. Another time, he was dared to skateboard around a city block while _attached to a car_. He seems just as crazy as my group of friends! I like it.

We spent two hours talking and laughing. At one point, the microphones on the karaoke machine went out, so we made up our own words to ourselves as they were singing. I have to admit, I'm actually having a really fun time.

Around nine, Mrs. Lee storms over to our table. "You two have been here for two hours. I have a few more more hours left of being open and people are still waiting for a seat. Are you going to order anything else?" She asks. I begin to reply.

"I don't think so. I'm pretty f-"

"THEN GET OUT!"

Both Derek and I jump as Derek slaps down some money on the table and we sprint out of the restaurant. We're walking down the street to what I presume is his car.

"Bad customer service, but great sushi." He chuckles.

"Yeah, good atmosphere too." I chime in.

"The pictures of noses leave something to be desired." He comments, wrinkling his own nose. I giggle at that. It was… cute. "So, we have two options."

"And what are those?" I ask.

"Well, we can end the night now on a pretty good note and I can drive you home. Or…" He trails off.

"Or…?"

He seems to ponder it for a minute before deciding. "Or, we can go to this pretty cool place I know."

"Ooh, what kind of place?" I ask, interested.

"I'll let it be a surprise. I… don't take many people there. But you seem like a pretty cool person and I think you'd appreciate it." He says. I mull it over for a bit.

"I think I'm feeling pretty adventurous." I say. He flashes a big smile.

"That's great to hear. My car is parked just down here." He points. It's a really nice car. A black Lexus with red leather seating. He must have rich parents. We don't drive very far until we're in a shipping yard area away from the usual busy area. I look around worriedly.

"Are you sure this is safe? I mean, I've been in sketchy areas before and it turned out pretty scary." I say nervously.

"You mean with the giant cupcake or with the pajelehoochos?" He says with a smile. Yeah, I told him a LOT. I blush and he gives another booming laugh. I'm really starting to like his laugh. It's like Santa without the mention of promiscuous girls. "Don't worry. If anyone comes at us I'll tackle them down. Being a star-quarter back and being of large size has its benefits."

"O-okay." I stammer. He smiles and tenderly puts his arm around me, leading me from the car.

"It's just this way." He assures. He brings me around a warehouse and down a decline of steps. At the bottom I see the opening of a long tunnel. I know at this point, alarm bells should be going off.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea." I say.

"Oh, come on. We're almost there. You'll love it." He pleads. He stands in front of me and puts on his best pouty face. "Please. It can be a new adventure."

"Promise it's nothing dangerous or scary?" I request. He smiles and crosses his heart.

"I promise."

"Kay, kay." I giggle, poking him in his stomach.

"Woo! Alright, follow me into the tunnel." He says with a mock ominous tone. "It may surprise you."

It does. We walk into the tunnel and I can't believe my eyes. "It's beautiful." I gasp.

The tunnel is lined with colourful graffiti and murals. There were a few people there now, spray painting another design on a blank space of wall. "Yeah, it's something, right?" He admires one of the walls. I tear my eyes from the pastel colours to look at him.

"Isn't it illegal, though?" I ask.

"That's what's great about this place. To lower vandalism occurrences, the city put this tunnel in specifically for use of graffiti." He explains, pointing at a sign that confirms this. "It worked, for the most part. It's not very well known. But I like it that way. It leaves room for the people who really want to create something beautiful."

"That's so poetic." I comment. "Do you come down here just to look?"

He gets a shy look on his face. "Well, not exactly. You see, this section here… that's my work." He gestures to the part of the wall he was looking at before. I gasp again. The wall is covered in bright colours that seem to make up the swirls of a galaxy, surrounding a woman made of purple wisps. "Do you like it?" He asks shyly.

"I love it!" I exclaim.

"That means a lot, Cat. Thanks." He gives a smile.

"Why don't you show more people?" I ask.

"Well… I live in many different worlds. I have a lot of sports friends from football. And then I have a lot of computer nerd friends from my computer classes. Both football and coding are my passions in life but… art is a hobby. And the people I hang around don't get art. They think it's a lost cause." He explains sadly.

"That's silly. Art is very useful." I argue.

"I agree. It's the perfect way to express myself." He smiles. "I guess… that's why I was so attracted to you, Cat. I mean, other than the initial impressing me during laser tag. When I walked into the lit lobby and saw your bright hair and your bright personality with your friends, I thought maybe you were someone I could share this with. I was right."

I blush wildly. "Thank you for sharing this with me." I mumble.

"Believe me, the pleasure was all mine. It's just a major bonus that you turned out to be such a cool girl as well." He grins. I blush even more.

"You aren't so bad yourself." I admit.

"Thanks. So, do you want to try?" He asks.

"Try what?"

He pulls out a few spray cans from his bag. "Adding to the wall."

I give a wide grin. "Do you have red?"

He tosses me a can of red, which I barely catch. I start shaking it when I feel my phone buzzing. I check it, and see the name Tori.

_Cat! How's the date going? Are you home yet? Let me know! I'm curious :) _

I stare at the screen for a moment, furrowing my brow. Then, without answering, I turn it off. Let her wonder what I'm doing for a while.

"What was that?" He asks.

"Nothing important." I say, smiling sweetly.

We spend the next little while laughing as I try to spray paint on the wonkiest rose I have ever seen. He tries to help but that just makes me nervous and it ended up looking worse. So we decided to make it into a big red sun on a stem.

"It's a sunflower. It's abstract." He comments.

"It sucks." I pout.

"Haha well maybe your kind of self-expression should be kept to acting." He teases. I gasp and slap him on the shoulder playfully. He laughs, throwing an arm around my shoulder and checks his watch. It reads 11:06pm.

"It's late." I sigh.

"Yeah, I should get you home. Come on." He says, leading me away from the colourful tunnel. As we're driving back, he asks, "Do you mind if I turn on some music?"

"What do you listen to?" I ask.

"Older stuff. Do you know this one?" He turns on his CD player, and Blackbird by The Beatles comes on.

"I do! I love it." I exclaim, and start singing along. His eyebrows rise in surprise, but then he just sits there silently, smiling and listening to me sing. After the song is over, I direct him a few streets over, and we're in front of my house.

"This is your stop." He says. "Honestly, I had a really fantastic time."

"Better than Northridge girls?" I ask.

"Way, way better." He chuckles. "I'll text or call you soon. We'll do this again."

"I would like that." I smile. And just like that, he leans in. I don't stop him. It's a light touch at first, but then I move into his lips and our mouths move together. It's my first kiss in a while. Don't judge me!

I pull away and give him a light goodnight before leaving the car. I feel light headed, and giddy. Just like how a person should feel after a wonderful first date. That's right. Date. I bask in the fact that for a while tonight, at least until she texted me, my mind was filled with things other than Tori.

Tonight, there is no empty pit in my stomach or wrecking sobs. Instead, I replay the night's events in my head, and soundly fall asleep.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Okay, I know what you're thinking. "Who is this guy? What is Cat doing with him? Why would she ignore Tori? Why am I even reading this?" I totally get that. But relax, guys. It's a Cori story. I have a plan. Trust me. And since this chapter was pretty short and unsatisfactory, I'm going to update again tomorrow. Maybe. If you guys review and make me wanna.**

**While I'm here, I need to address a recent review I got. I wish I could message you directly, but this will have to do. I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm so sorry. I can tell you, though, that a close friend of mine works with Leukemia patients as a nurse trainee. More often than not, she has happy endings to tell. I wish you the very best. I'm pulling for you. And again to my other reviewers and reviewers of the future: I still love you and wish you guys the very best as well.**

**Fun Fact: Leake Street in London, England actually has a graffiti tunnel like the one described in this chapter. I loved the idea so much I added one to L.A. in my fanfiction world. Also, why do I keep referencing places in England in my story? I obviously want to go back or something.**


	6. The Worst Pep Talk

**Author's Notes: Very rare posting of two days in a row! That was horrible grammar. How do I even write this story? Anyway, it's just 'cause I love you guys, and last chapter was short and this is slightly longer. **

**Disclaimer****: If I made money for not owning Victorious, I would have... money.**

* * *

Derek and I texted back and forth all weekend. We talked about random stuff. Some deep stuff. I was starting to feel like I'd known him forever. I know that sounds crazy. But really, he's so easy to talk to, and so easy to get along with. I haven't texted Tori back at all. I didn't start to feel guilty until she texted me again on Sunday wondering where I was and wanting updates. I updated my Slap page just so that she would know I was alive, but that's about it.

Look, I know it's being hypocritical, and sort of childish, but Jade was right. I can't keep feeling sorry for myself because I'm crushing on my girl best friend. I need to distance myself. Not enough to lose her as a friend, of course. I still want her as my friend. But now I have someone to help me keep my distance, for real though. He can be like… The push I need to get that falling sensation I've been desiring so I can wake up from these feelings.

Yes, maybe that's wrong too. I shouldn't be using someone like this. But it's different this time. I really do like him, more than any other guy I've been with so far. And that's just after one date and two days of talking over text. I could fall for him, yeah. And it's a much safer option, because he's a guy. And me dating a guy will be accepted by my family. Well, at least my mom. My dad will still be skeptical.

So, don't judge me. I'm just trying to figure things out. And I feel this is the right path to take in order to get over Tori. Heck, I might already be over her. I've barely thought about her the past few days. So, this has to work, right?

Please, let it work.

"Caterina Valentine!" My knees go slightly weak as I hear her use my full name as she storms up to me in the hallway Monday morning. Even though she's angry, my heart still flutters at her using my full name. Plus I hear a bit of her Latina come out as she says "Caterina". Hoo, shivers. I think about hissing at her to see if Jade's technique will work for me, but it's just not my style.

"Hi, Tori." I smile innocently.

"Don't you 'hi Tori' me." She fumes. I swear, I almost see smoke rising from her head. She's really angry. Now I'm concerned…

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"What's wrong? _What's wrong?_ You never texted me back this weekend!" She yells. I decide in this moment I should feign ignorance.

"Oh. Was I supposed to?" I ask, twirling a strand of my hair.

"Uh, yeah! You know, because that's what best friends do! We eat our feelings, film crazy videos at 3 AM and gossip about boys. It's a thing." She grumbles. I'm actually surprised at how serious she's taking this.

"I'm sorry, Tori. I thought I could tell you today. You know. In person." I reason. She lets out a huff.

"Well that's nice, but a text back at some point would've been nice too. I was a nervous wreck." She mutters. My eyes go wide with surprise.

"You wanted to know how my date went _that_ badly?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"It's not just that. Put yourself in my position for a second." She says.

"Okay." I agree. I grab her by the shoulders and twist us so we're standing where the other person stood. "Now what?"

"It was just a figure of- nevermind. Just think about this. Imagine if I went on a date one night with a guy that either of us barely knew. And then you didn't hear from me for days. Wouldn't you be a little concerned?" She asks. I think about it for a second. She's right, it would probably make me a nervous wreck. Oh.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I would worry about you." I admit.

"Exactly. The whole weekend I thought you had been murdered or something. I mean, I didn't want to seem desperate if you were fine, which you were, but you didn't answer any of my texts. For god's sake, Cat, if you hadn't updated your Slap page on Sunday I was going to drive over to your house to check on you. Or get my dad involved to file a missing person's report. I don't know. I was just worried sick." She pouts. Aww… she really cared. It makes my heart warm, but sad at the same time. I hate that I caused her so much stress. I didn't mean to. I was being selfish…

"But I'm okay. Killing is frowned upon on a first date, remember?" I joke. Her face stays serious.

"Not everybody abides to that social stigma, Cat." She mumbles sadly. I can't take it anymore. I want her to be happy again, especially since I made her sad.

"Tori, I'm so sorry. It won't happen again, I promise." I say, wrapping my arms around her neck and squeezing her in a tight hug. I feel her snake her arms around me and feel her body relax as she lets out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I freaked out at you." She apologizes. I turn my head slightly into her neck and breath in her scent. I hope she doesn't notice. She overwhelms my senses, and I feel like I'm on cloud 9. No, cloud 900.

"It's okay. I don't think sometimes. I'm glad you told me how you felt." I sigh. I reluctantly release her because I'm aware we were hugging for longer than what could be considered natural for friends, in the middle of the hall. I wanted to hang onto her forever though.

I'm so dumb for thinking that I could get over her so easily. Derek's great, but right now Tori feels like my everything. I feel like the worst person in the world for worrying her, especially since I know how Tori gets when she stresses out. I never want her to be worried again. I would do anything to make sure she always had a smile on her face.

So, this whole Derek plan will take a little longer than expected. Okay. New game plan. Distance myself from Tori _slowly_, but still keep her included and updated on my life because that's just considerate to her. After all, I know I would be extremely upset if I knew that she was deliberately distancing herself from me. Dang it this is just so _complicated_!

"Now that that's settled, how WAS your date on Friday night?" She asks. I give her a big smile.

"It was really nice." I exclaim.

"Details, please." She urges. I happily recount the events of the night. "You let him lead you to a remote tunnel in some shipping yard?" She asks incredulously.

"Well, yeah. It turned out fine, remember? I'm not murdered!" I assure her.

"Well he also could've been a pimp or something." She says, but she's smiling so I know she's back to her joking self.

"He wasn't a pimp!" I gasp with mock offense. "I promise, he was a complete gentleman."

"Good. So then you went home?" Tori asked.

"Yeah, after the kiss in the car…" I reveal shyly. She starts choking on… air?

"You kissed?" She chokes out.

"Yeah. It was nice." I say.

"Oh… well that's good. I'm glad it was nice." She says, but she seems uneasy. Weird. "So, you think you're going to have a second date?"

"Well, yeah. Probably." I grin.

"Well look at you. I'll try not to mess this one up, I promise." She chuckles.

"Thanks. I appreciate it." I giggle. The bell rings and we head to Sikowitz's room. She seems troubled, but I let it slide. She's probably still a bit upset at me for not answering her texts, and I don't want to bring it up again.

As we sit down in class, I lean over to Tori. "Hey, Tori?"

"Yeah, Cat?" She answers.

"Remember that thing with Evan? The thing you said you messed up?" I ask. She shifts uncomfortably.

"Yeah?"

"I know I was upset at the time… but you weren't to blame. If anything, you made sure he was a guy who liked me for me, and not just for my hair colour." I confess.

"That means a lot Cat, thanks. You do deserve someone who likes you for you, after all." She grins.

"Ehem." I hear from behind me. I turn to see Robbie.

"Oh, hi Robbie." I smile before turning back to Tori. I hear him express an "Oh, come on!" under his breath. Poor Robbie.

"So from now on, if you ever have an opinion on a guy I'm seeing, I will take it seriously. This includes Derek." I say to Tori.

"I'll keep that in mind." She promises as Sikowitz swings into the classroom from a rope.

* * *

Derek and I continued to hang out and talk very, very frequently. We mostly watched movies, went to Nozu and cuddled and kissed. Eventually, it just became an unspoken agreement between us that we were together. At least, I think so. It's two weeks later and he's standing in the foyer of Hollywood Arts just before lunch with a big bouquet of flowers.

"Ahhh! Derek!" I cry running towards him. "Are they for me?"

"Is there any other beautiful red head named Cat Valentine here?" He teases.

"Nope! It's just me." I grin.

"Then congratulations! They are for you!" He says, handing them over.

"Yay! I didn't even have to tell you to bring me these!" I squeal.

"What?"

"Nothing." I say quickly. "So, why are you here? Don't you have school?" I change the subject.

"Northridge had a half day today, so I thought I'd drop by and surprise you." He explains.

"Aw, you're the sweetest." I sigh, jumping on him with a hug and giving him a peck on the lips.

"Hey, hey, who's this?" Andre says walking up with a miserable looking Robbie.

"Hey guys, this is Derek. He's my boyfriend!" I exclaim. Robbie gives a slight squeak. Andre elbows him lightly before extending an arm.

"It's nice to meet you, Derek. I'm Andre. Cat's told us a lot about you." Andre greets. Derek returns the handshake.

"Likewise." He says politely. He raises an eyebrow at me. "You've told them a lot about me, huh?" He teases. I giggle and blush. He turns his gaze to Robbie. "Hey. Cool puppet."

"Oh, no, Goliath did _not_ just use the P word." Rex grumbles.

"Heh, that's pretty amusing." Derek chuckles.

"Know what else is amusing? The fact that your momma could ever pump a boy like you out of her body." Rex jeers. Derek's eyes narrow as he takes an intimidating step towards Robbie.

"Hey. Watch it, kid." Derek warns. Robbie's voice gets very high pitched and he looks like he's about to wet himself.

"I- I- no! It wasn't me, it was him!" He squeaks, pointing at Rex. I put an arm on Derek's arm in an attempt to hold him back. Not that I could, if I tried.

"Seriously? You're blaming your p-" Derek starts to growl before Andre steps between them.

"Whoa-ho! Uh, sorry, man. You'll have to forgive Robbie. He's a little, uh, quirky." Andre explains calmly.

"Hey!" Robbie protests, but Andre sends his foot backwards into Robbie's shin, making him double back. "I mean, yep! Super quirky!" He gasps out. I lean up to whisper into Derek's ear. I have to stand on my tippy-toes, but Derek still has to lean down a bit for me to reach his ear.

"Um, my friend Robbie has some issues. He thinks his puppet is really for real. We just humour him." I whisper an explanation. Derek leans away from my ear and eases up a bit. He looms over to Robbie.

"You should tell your, uh, small friend there to watch his mouth. I don't take kindly to rude comments." Derek threatens.

"You know what you should watch is-mmph!" Rex starts another insult but is quickly stopped by Robbie clapping his hand over Rex's mouth.

"Oh don't worry; I will definitely make sure the message is received." Robbie reassures.

"Yeah, so uh, we're going to head to the Asphalt Café now. Want us to save you a seat, Cat?" Andre asks.

"That'd be great, thanks!" I smile.

"Cool. Later, Lil Red." Andre waves as he walks away, followed by a clearly still scared Robbie. I think he really did wet himself. I give a deep breath before turning to Derek.

"So, what do you think of my friends so far?" I ask innocently.

"Well, Andre seems pretty cool. Robbie is a little, uh…" He trails off.

"Quirky?" I finish for him.

"Yeah, that." He smiles.

"I'm quirky too." I pout.

"Yeah, but I like your kind of quirkiness." He says, nuzzling my nose and causing me to giggle. "Do you only have male friends?"

"No, of course not! I have female friends, too. You saw them at the laser tag place." I giggle again. "I'm hoping you can meet one while you're here. She's the one I stormed the tower with." I'm of course talking about Tori. She's the one I want to meet Derek the most. I still haven't told Jade about him at all.

"Well it'll be an honour to meet your partner in combat." He grins. "What do you want to do now?"

"Ooh, I can give you a tour of the school if you want." I suggest excitedly. He lets out that wonderful bellowing laugh.

"I would like that." He says.

"Yay!" I exclaim. I lace my fingers with his and start leading him towards the flight of stairs. "I'll show you my locker first. Everyone here has a customized locker."

"I see that." He says, looking around. "Is that chewed up food?"

"Er... Some of them aren't the best designs. You'll like mine, though. It has-" I stop dead in the middle of my sentence and my ascending of the stairs as I notice Jade starting to walk in our direction. I quickly pull him the other way.

"On second thought, I want to show you the blackbox theatre first!" I exclaim.

"O-okay." He stammers, surprised by the change in direction. Just as we reach the pop machines, Beck turns the corner. Dang it.

"Whoa, hey Cat. Where's the fire?" Beck asks.

"There's a fire?" I exclaim. He shakes his head.

"No Cat, it's just an expression." Beck explains.

"Oh, that's a scary expression." I pout.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'll be more sensitive next time." He apologizes. I smile at him and he looks at Derek. "Who's this?"

"Yeah, who is he?" Comes a sultry voice from behind us. Jade caught up. Ugh. She walks over to beside Beck, looking Derek up and down hungrily. "Please, do tell."

"Babe, I'm right here." Beck complains.

"Shh. Momma's admiring." She shushes, placing a finger on Beck's lips. Beck lifts his arms in a defeated fashion.

"Are these your friends, too?" Derek asks.

"Yep." I answer.

"And you told the other two about me but not these two?" He interrogates.

"Yep." I repeat.

"Alright." He says, shrugging.

"Wait, I've seen you somewhere before." Jade observes. Derek puts on a friendly smile.

"You might've seen me at laser tag a couple weeks back. I'm with Cat, now." He explains. I am so busted.

"Wait, _with _Cat? As in, you're her boyfriend?" Jade shoots the question at both of us. She runs her tongue over her teeth. "Interesting." She gives me a judgmental glare. That's what I was afraid of.

"So, you're together? But I thought that Cat-" He starts but Jade elbows him in the side. "And now she's physically abusing me." He winces.

"So, how long ago did this happen?" Jade asks, still glowering at me.

"Um, we had our first date about two weeks ago." I admit nervously. The glare deepens. If looks could stab like scissors…

"Interesting." She repeats. "And how's that going for you so far?"

"I think it's going pretty well." Derek comments, throwing his large arm around my tiny shoulders.

"Greeeat. I'm sure you're making Cat very happy." Jade's voice is seeping with sarcasm. Derek looks between me and Jade.

"Well, this isn't awkward at all." Beck remarks. Luckily, I see Tori emerge from the direction of the blackbox theatre. She freezes when she sees me and Derek. I smile at her as she hurries up to us.

"Hi, you must be Darrell." She greets. Darrell?

"Derek." He corrects.

"Yeah, whatever, Darren." She rolls her eyes.

"It's Derek."

"So this was a nice chat. I'm going to go to get some lunch now. Bye!" Tori says as she rushes off. I stand there in shock. What was that?

"Uh, excuse me for a second. Derek, you can stay here and talk to Beck about cars, or sports, or other boy things. Be right back!" I run off after Tori, leaving a very awkward feeling Derek with Jade and Beck.

I catch up with Tori who is exiting the building at the Asphalt Café. She was practically running. "Tori! What was that back there?" I ask, grabbing her by the elbow to prevent her from going any further.

"What was what?" She gives a frustrated sigh.

"Back there with Derek. You were a real… Trina." There. I said it. She looks like she was slapped across the face, then relents.

"You're right. I'm so sorry, Cat. That was a horrible first impression. It's just I've… I've had a stressful day. I got a bad grade on an assignment. I'm pretty sure Sinjin stole a lock of my hair during second period. Not to mention the stuff going on at home right now…" She whines. I touch her hand lightly.

"I'm sorry you had a bad day. But that's no excuse to treat people poorly. Especially your best friend's boyfriend that she's been dying for you to officially meet." I lecture.

"I know. You're right. I'm sorry." She groans. I give her hand a squeeze.

"You've been mentioning home problems a lot lately. Anything you want to talk about?" I ask, concerned. She gives a small smile and squeezes my hand back.

"Maybe later. I have to go apologize to my best friend's boyfriend now." She claims, walking back into the school.

"Thanks, Tori." I giggle. We make it back to Tori's locker, where Derek, Beck, and Jade are still hanging out. I'm vaguely aware of the fact that we're still holding hands.

"…So you've never been to jail?" I hear Jade ask as we walk up.

"Nope, never." Derek answers.

"What a shame." Jade sighs. Derek mirrors Beck's raised eyebrow.

"Hi, I'm back. I brought a Tori with me." I exclaim. Jade looks at our conjoined hands and gives me a knowing look. I quickly avert my eyes.

"So, you must be a Tori?" Derek says, reaching out his hand.

"Just Tori is fine." She says, releasing my hand to shake his. My palm suddenly feels very empty and sad.

"Okay, just Tori." He jokes. I hear Jade groan but I laugh anyway.

"Look, I'm sorry about before. I know your name is Derek. I just… stressful day and-" She explains but Derek holds up his hand to stop her.

"It's fine. I get it. It's getting to be finals time anyway. No harm done." He gives a big grin.

"Good, I'm glad you understand." She smiles back in relief. "Do you guys want to come join me for lunch? I'm starving." She offers.

"I could eat." Derek says.

"Yeah, let's go continue this weird situation at the Asphalt Café." Beck chimes in.

We all head to the Asphalt Café together and join Andre and Robbie. Derek takes so much room up around the table that we even sit on the side that nobody ever sits on. Surprisingly, the conversation at lunch goes pretty smoothly. Jade stops with her creepy interrogation questions, and even Rex keeps his mouth shut. When the bell rings, I walk Derek back to the front door.

"So, you've met all my friends now. What's your impression?" I ask.

"They're all pretty crazy." He admits.

"Oh…" I pout.

"I like it." He breaks into a huge grin that I copy.

"Yay! I'm so glad you like them. I don't know what I would do if you didn't. My friends are super important to me." I beam.

"I got that sense." He chuckles. "I'll talk to you later, babe. Enjoy the flowers." He winks before leaning in for a kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen it until I jump from a huge slam of a locker behind me. I turn to see Tori stalking off from her now flickering Make It Shine locker. I shrug it off. She must still be stressed.

"Okay, well, got to get to class now! Bye!" I explain giving him one last hug.

"Bye, Cat." He smiles, exiting the school. I sniff the flowers he gave me one more time before turning to head to class. I walk past the pop machines and-

"NOPE!" I hear as someone grabs my shirt from behind. I scream as I'm dragged into the janitor's closet. I flail my arms and turn to see the face of Jade.

"Why is everyone always Cat-napping me! And why are you always making me late for class!" I snap.

"It's one of my many talents. Now shut up and don't talk unless it's to answer one of my questions." She demands. I open my mouth to protest but she cuts me off, "Ah! Don't make me pull out my scissors!" She threatens. I clamp my mouth shut. "There's a good girl. Now, what up with the husky hunk?"

"That's so degrading." I mutter.

"That's not an answer!" She warns.

"Okay, okay!" I relent. I take a deep breath before explaining. "He asked me out not long after meeting him at laser tag. And I said yes."

"Why?" Jade interrogated.

"Well, he seemed really nice. And like you said, a 'hunk'."

"Sure. But what's the _real_ reason?" She accuses.

"I'm not sure what you mean." I say innocently.

"Bullshit!" She snaps. I gasp with offense at the foul language, which she rolls her eyes at. "And put down these stupid flowers. You've been holding them for like an hour!" She seethes, grasping the bouquet from my hands and slamming them into the trash bin.

"Hey!" I gasp.

"Admit it, you're seeing this guy as a distraction from Vega." She glares.

"No, I'm not." I mumble the lie, avoiding eye contact.

"Just like all the other guys you've chased after, am I right?"

"No! It's different this time!" I affirm. She lets out a frustrated huff before grasping me by the shoulders. I squeak in fear.

"That's it. I'm going Sikowitz on you. Admit you're using this guy to get over Vega!" She demands in my face.

"You're wrong!" I whine.

"ADMIT IT!"

"FINE!" I exclaim, shaking her off. "Fine… you're right. I agreed to go out with him because of my feelings for Tori. I'm going to keep going out with him because of my feelings for Tori. Satisfied?" I grumble.

"Goddamnit, Cat. Why the _hell_ are you doing this?" She groans. "You know it's just going to blow up in your face."

"But it _is _different this time!" I assure her. "I really do like this guy."

"Can you see yourself falling for him?" She asks pointedly. Something catches in my throat at the question.

"I… I don't know. Maybe? How am I supposed to know? We've only been seeing each other for two weeks." I exasperate. "What's it to you, anyway? I thought I was a lost cause."

"Because… because maybe, in some small stupid way, I care about what happens to you." She admits with an annoyed grumble. "And because you're so incredibly stupid that it hurts to watch. I mean, I know you can be pretty dumb sometimes-"

"This is the worst pep talk ever." I mumble.

"-But I didn't think you would be _this_ ridiculous! I mean, using this poor guy isn't going to work. It'll just get both of you hurt, even if you do fall for him. I don't think you'll get over Vega that easily. She's become too important to you." She states, then adds in a lower voice, "For whatever crazy reason."

"What do you propose I do, then?" I snap.

"Tell her."

This catches me off guard. "Huh?"

"Geez, are you deaf? _Tell her how you feel about her._" She emphasizes.

"But… but you're the one who…"

"I know what I said." She sighs. "But that was last semester. You and Vega weren't that close, and I thought you'd get over it quickly, like you usually do with things. But you didn't, and you and Vega are closer than ever. So, things are different, now aren't they?" She asks. I nod. "So, now I think you should tell her."

"But what if she rejects me?" I cry.

"But what if she _doesn't_?" She sends back to me. This too catches me off guard. I hadn't thought of that outcome for… a long time. Not of it realistically happening, anyway.

"But you said Tori wouldn't see me that way. That she only likes boys." I argue.

"I **know** what I **said**. For god's sake, I was there. And I'm not wrong very often, but as with most things in life, there are always exceptions. Vega liking you back might be one of them." She reasons.

"You really think she might return my feelings?" I ask in bewilderment.

"I honestly don't know, but what do you have to lose?" Jade questions.

"Our friendship." I mutter.

"Look, Cat," She groans, "The way I see it, you and Vega are really close friends now. I'm not saying I know a lot about friendship, but from what I'm told, friends are supposed to accept each other no matter what. So with you and Vega's case, I think the worst case scenario is that you tell her, she rejects you, but it opens the door for you to finally move on with your life. Best part, she stays your friend regardless."

"You really think she wouldn't mind?"

"Let's just say, I've made some… observations involving Vega in the past year that have told me she can be a very… understanding, considerate person." She spits the words as if they're painful to admit. "And don't you dare repeat that anywhere." She snaps.

"I promise." I giggle, crossing my heart. "And if Tori _does _hate me after I tell her?"

"Then you'll know she was never worth all this obsessing over in the first place." Jade concludes. She makes an amazing point. She is so right. Maybe it is okay to tell Tori. For the first time, I feel hope in regards to my feelings for Tori rising in my chest. But just as quickly as it came, it's shoved back down by other concerns. What about my family's views? And Derek?

"It's more complicated than that, though." I sigh.

"Why? Because of Derek?" She asks.

"That's part of it." I mumble.

"Listen, who do you really want? Who would really make you happy? Husky hunk, or Vega?" She quizzes. I don't even have to think about it.

"Tori." I state.

"Then if there was the smallest chance you could be with Tori, or that you could have her help to get over her and move on, wouldn't you take it?" She questions.

"Yeah, but… ugh, it's just such a hard thing to do!" I whine.

"So you'll try it?"

"I don't know. It's a serious decision to make… but I see your point, so I'll seriously consider it." I tell her. She gets a cocky smirk.

"That's probably the smartest thing I've ever heard you say." She comments.

"Thank…you?" I narrow my eyes in confusion. "So I'll keep you updated on my decis-"

"No, I really don't care anymore. I'm over this conversation. Bye." She brushes me off and swiftly exits the closet, leaving me agape.

I regain my senses from Jade's sudden change in attitude and turn toward the garbage bin with my flowers. I reach out to grab them, but I pause, staring at them with confliction. Decidedly, I retract my hand and turn on my heel, walking off to class.

* * *

**Author's Notes: I love writing Jade. I really do. Actually, all the characters are fun to write. So what's this mean for Cat's new relationship? What's this mean for her and Tori? I don't know, it's not like you're guaranteed a romantic relationship between Cat and Tori while reading this. Oh wait, you are. But the journey getting there will hopefully be interesting!**

**Let me give a run-down of my days lately - wake up around 1pm, try to find a job, eat dinner, write until like 4am. On posting days, I write until 3am, and then I edit the hell out of the newest chapter until I'm satisfied with it. Even then, I never fail to miss a typo... Then I fall asleep, wake up and do it all again. Know what helps me get through the days? Reviews. Seriously, they really help me feel like all this work is worth it. So if you want to drop a line, please do.**

**Fun Fact: This chapter was originally going to have a scene where Derek's flowers are the ones Tori is allergic to. Tori was going to have a reaction and Cat would freak out and ditch Derek to look after her. But I replaced it with the Jade scene. Simply 'cause I love writing Jade.**


	7. Girl Talk

**Author's Note: Ahhh, the sweet smell of posting day... do you smell it? It smells like my room's air freshener. Also I'm about to spring a warning on you. Ready?**

**!SLIGHT TRIGGER WARNING: NON-CONSENSUAL SEXUAL ADVANCES ARE MADE IN THIS CHAPTER!**

**Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure, like, pretty sure I don't own Victorious. Pretty. You're pretty. This just got weird.**

* * *

"Babe, want a can of Wahoo Punch?" Derek asks from his fridge. I'm sitting on the couch in his house. It's been a week since Derek met my friends at school, and he finally asked me to come over to his house. I met his parents briefly before they left. They seemed really sweet.

"Sure!" I answer, looking over for a second before going back to sifting through the home DVDs I had brought over. I hear the popping of the can being opened before he walks over, places the can in my hand and then plops on the couch beside me. I place the can on the coffee table.

"Aren't you going to drink it?" He asks.

"I'm not thirsty." I state.

"Then why did you ask for one?"

"I don't know." I shrug innocently. He stares at me for a second before letting out a laugh.

"You're so weird." He chuckles, kissing me on the forehead. "Which one should we watch first?" He asks in regard to the DVDs.

"I don't know why you want to see these. All my performances as a child were so embarrassing." I flush.

"You mentioned them, I wanted to see them. I wanted to see if it was possible for you to be even more adorable at one point." He flirtatiously flicks me on the nose with his finger, causing me to release an embarrassed giggle.

"Alright, this one." I offer, handing one out to him. He takes it with a smile and gets up to put it in the DVD player.

So, since Jade is uninterested in my issues now, I'm going to give myself a mental update. I still haven't decided if I'm going to tell Tori about my feelings yet. But I know the option is there, if the opportunity ever presents itself. I've been friendly towards her at school, but we don't talk about Derek at all anymore. I think I'm starting to feel guilty because, well, I really like Derek. But I really, _really _like Tori. So, I feel like I'm betraying Tori, which is silly, meanwhile I feel like I'm leading Derek on even though I like him. Ugh, so many complications! Too much thinking.

"Okay, let's see what little Cat Valentine has to show us." He says, sitting back down beside me and putting his arm around me. I lean into him. His muscles are very solid. A badly shot, poor quality video appears on the high definition TV and struggles to focus on the stage. On it, a tiny me with brown hair (not red!) walks on stage.

"What did the young shrimp say…" Little me started. I blush wildly. Some things never change.

"Believe it or not, I had less of a filter when I was younger. My parents got fed up with all the random things I said, so they tried to put me in a youth comedy circuit so I could vent it all out." I explained.

"I think it's cute." I feel him chuckle.

"Cuter than I am now?" I turn and look at him, pouting.

"Naw, you only grew cuter with age." He pecks me on the lips.

"Heehee, yay!" I cheer, cuddling back into him. We watch the rest of the video and he lets out the bellowing laugh at all my little-me's lame jokes. He's so sweet. Finally, the video and my torture ends.

"You're so amazing." He breathes.

"Thanks." I blush, lightly pushing away from him and grabbing the stack of DVDs. "So, which one do you want to watch next? I have-mmph!" My words are cut short and the DVDs clutter to the ground as he smashes his lips into mine. I accept it and kiss him back. He shoves his tongue into my mouth and, although I'm taken aback, I oblige with this sudden intrusion. After all, this is what couples do, right?

Actually, something doesn't feel right about this. And I'm not just talking about my conflicting feelings for Tori. Usually, I enjoy kissing Derek, and even making out. But, usually it's intimate and tender. This time, it's full of hunger and desire. I hope this isn't going where I think it's going…

"Mmm, Cat, you are so hot." He moans into my lips. I fake a moan back, but I'm really just feeling uncomfortable. Maybe I should stop this…

That's when I feel his hand fly up into my shirt. I immediately jump back from him. "Whoa, what are you doing?" I gasp. He gives me a comforting smile.

"Nervous? Don't worry, just relax." He whispers, leaning back in. He pushes me down flat on the couch, his huge body covering mine as he continues to move his tongue around my mouth. I'm trying to relax, I really am. After all, I trust Derek. He's such a sweet guy who wouldn't hurt a fly. Right?

His hand tentatively reaches up into my shirt again, and I tense up. His hand grazes up my skin, which admittedly feels good, until his hand comes at a rest on the side of my breast. I know I've said before that I don't mind taking risks, but something about being _this_ intimate so fast, makes me feel incredibly vulnerable. And not in a good, fueling the emotion on stage sort of way.

I'm so focused on trying not to be uncomfortable with what's happening that I stop kissing him back. He doesn't seem to notice, as he continues to mash his lips against mine. His hand is slowly moving about my breast, and I let out a little squeak. He misinterprets this as a positive response and he becomes more aggressive in his "exploration" as I get more and more nervous. Then, he lifts me up a little bit, moves his hand to my back, and I reach my breaking point as he unhooks my bra.

"NO!" I gasp out from between his lips. It comes out muffled, and I don't think he understands as he's now trying to slip my bra down my shoulders. Time to be a little more clear. "No, no, no!" I cry, as I begin to hit his chest and push him away. He stops fiddling with my bra and props himself up above me.

"What's the matter, babe?" He asks, concerned.

"I don't like it. It's making me uncomfortable." I mumble. He gives a small smile.

"Oh, geez, I'm sorry. I'll make it more comfortable for you." He assures before dipping back down to place kisses on my neck, and he starts to pull up my shirt.

"Ugh Derek get off! GET OFF!" I scream and squirm out from under him. He looks dumbfounded and my face is completely flushed as I fix my shirt and re-hook my bra.

"What's going on, Cat?" He asks.

"I don't want to go there, yet. I'm not ready." I state.

"Not even second base?" He looks at me like I grew another head. Maybe I did. I don't know why else he would be so shocked.

"No. Not anything like that. I've never… I mean… ugh! Why do all the guys I like try to make a pass at me so quickly!" I exclaim angrily. I look at him, tears stinging my eyes. "I thought you were different, Derek!" I accuse.

"I am different!" He states, standing up. "I'm sorry. It's just that… you know…"

"No, I don't know." I fume.

"Ugh, I'm sorry, Cat. I really am. I'm a stupid asshole. You see, innocent girls kind of have a reputation of being…" He starts to explain.

"Reputation of being _what_?" I shoot at him.

"Freaky." He admits. "So, I thought that maybe you wanted this."

"Well that doesn't apply to me. I really _am_ that innocent. You should've checked with me first." I grumble.

"You're right. Like I said, I'm an asshole." He sighs dejectedly.

"Is that why you wanted to be with me? So I could get 'freaky' with you in bed?" I choke out.

"Aw, babe, no, of course not." He says softly, wrapping me in his arms with a gentle hug. "You're amazing, and cute, and talented, and funny, and I like all of that about you. I'm willing to wait for that. For you to be ready. Even if you're not very freaky should that time ever come." He winks at me.

"Thank you." I sigh with relief and lean into the hug.

"Can I get a kiss still?" He pleads innocently. I give him a small smile.

"Sure." I agree and place a soft kiss on his lips.

"See, that's all you need to do to satisfy me." He smiles. "That, and just being in my presence."

"You're cute." I chuckle.

"Still not as cute as you." He places another kiss on my lips. "Come on, come sit on the couch with me."

"Kay, kay." I oblige, and snuggle next to him again. We sit there in silence for a bit. I know we sorted it out, but I still feel a bit awkward and violated. We try to make conversation, but even that feels awkward. "You know we used to have a security guard at Hollywood Arts named Derek?" I inform.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. But he got fired because Jade and Tori made him clean up all the macaroni." I explain.

"Oh. That's unfortunate."

"Yeah."

"…"

"…"

"You sure you don't want any punch? It's probably getting warm." He asks softly.

"Nuh uh." I shake my head. But actually, that whole situation left a bad taste in my mouth. Suddenly, he jumps away from me and looks at me with excitement. Aww, okay, maybe I can forgive him if he keeps looking like that.

"Hey, I've got something to ask you." He claims.

"Okay, what?"

"You know how I'm graduating this year?" He asks.

"Mhm?"

"Well, in a few weeks we're having our grad dance party at an all ages club downtown." He explains, grabbing my hands. "I'd like for you to be my date."

"That sounds so fun! Of course I'll be your date." I exclaim. He grins and kisses me, enveloping me in a crushing hug.

"All my friends are going to be so jealous." He chuckles.

"Of what?" I mutter into his shoulder.

"That I'll have the most beautiful date to the dance." He says smoothly.

"Aww." I blush, but after that whole… bra fiasco I'm not really up for physical compliments right now. "Hey, where's your washroom?" I ask.

"Oh, uh, down the hall to the left." He answers.

"Thanks! Be right back!" I give him a peck on the cheek before skipping down the hall to the bathroom. As soon as I'm in with the door closed behind me, I pull out my phone.

_Get me out of this._ I send. Please let her have her phone on her…

_What's wrong? Where are you?_

Thank god.

_I'm at Derek's. Things went a little sour and now I'm feeling awkward. I need an escape route. _

_Oh, Cat, I'm sorry. I'll definitely help you out. What's the address?_

I send her Derek's address.

_Great. I'll be right there. Hang in there, hun._

_You're my saviour, Tori. Ilysm._

I put my phone away and let out a sigh of relief. Looking in the bathroom mirror, I see that I look a little dishevelled. I fix myself up a bit before heading back to the living room, where Derek is watching the rest of my DVDs. I join him for a bit before the doorbell rings.

"Hang on, babe. I'll get it." He says as he gets up and opens the door. "Oh. Hey, uh, Tori. Right?"

"Yep. Sorry to bother you, but Cat told me she'd be here today. Is she in?" I hear Tori ask.

"Uh… yeah…" He stumbles. I skip to the doorway.

"Oh, hi Tori! What ever could you be doing here?" I ask unconvincingly. She raises an eyebrow at me. Dang it, I'm bad at lying. Need to go into acting mode.

"Well, remember we had that big important project that we needed to work on? You know? The one we've barely started and need to finish tonight?" She cues me. I get where she's going with this.

"Oh right! That!" I turn to Derek. "Derek, I'm so sorry, but it's worth, like, 30% of our final grade. Do you mind if I leave?" I ask innocently.

"I guess not." He says, running a hand through his hair.

"Great! Thanks for understanding!" I say, running back into the house to grab my bag and DVDs. "Bye!" I give him a kiss before practically sprinting to Tori's car.

"Bye…" He says as he closes the door. I get into Tori's car as she sits behind the wheel.

"Thank you thank you thank you." I ramble out, jumping on her in a hug.

"No problem. What happened in there?" She asks, starting the car through my hug. I'm not ready to let go yet.

"I'll talk about it later. I just need some time. Can we do something? Preferably something that doesn't involve a big school project?" I ask hopefully.

"Yes of course." She chuckles, reaching around to pat me on the back. "How about Jumanji and a giant bowl of gummy worms at my house?" She suggests.

"Yay! Sounds perfect!" I jump back from her gleefully while clapping my hands.

"Alright. Off we go." She states as she pulls away from Derek's house. I lean my head back against the headrest and close my eyes. Replaying the past events in my mind, I know I'm not mad at Derek. I mean, he did stop, and apologized sincerely. I just need to take a break to forget about it. Tori was the perfect distraction.

Great. Now I'm using both of them for distraction purposes for each other.

"I hope I didn't pull you away from anything important." I say. I fight the urge to reach over and hold her hand.

"Nah, my Saturday has been pretty uneventful so far. Just rehearsing end of term performances and such." She shrugs.

"Oh, well I'm sorry I'm taking up your study time." I apologize.

"Don't be." She chuckles. "I'm already ahead on most things. I've had more free time on my hands lately than should be legal."

"Well that's good. Or bad. I don't know." I ramble. She laughs and it's a beautiful sound.

"It's good and bad I guess. After having such a whirlwind of a year it feels weird settling down now. It's going to be even more quiet during the summer." She laments.

"Yeah, but we can hang out during the summer." I suggest. "Write more music. Ohh! Maybe we can go on a trip! Like the Grande Canyon!" I exclaim. She starts giggling uncontrollably.

"Did you just say _Grande_ Canyon?" She teases.

"Oops. I meant Grand Canyon! Thank you, _Catherine Obvious_!" I tease back.

"Catherine could be a captain!" She insists.

"Well it might be called the Grande Canyon in Italy!" I argue. We mock glare at each other before bursting out laughing so hard, Tori almost has to pull over. After we calm down, Tori wipes a tear from her eye.

"I like the name Grande Canyon anyway. Sounds more exotic." She humours me.

"Me too." I giggle. We arrive at Tori's soon after and head on inside.

"Hey Tori! Cat." Tori's dad greets as we walk in the door.

"Hello Mr. Vega." I smile.

"Hi dad. Where's mom?" Tori asks. Her dad lifts his hands.

"How should I know?" He shrugs.

I start to reason, "Well you're her husband, right? So you should-"

"Cat." Tori cuts me off quickly. "Why don't you go get the gummy worms? They're at the bottom of the pantry in the kitchen, at the very back. I try to hide them from Trina." She tells me.

"Kay, kay!" I grin and skip off to the kitchen. As I'm digging for the gummy worms I listen to the rest of the conversation.

"So I have an itty bitty favour to ask…" Tori starts.

"Whaaaaat?" Her dad groans.

"Well, Cat and I kind of planned a girl's night in, so would you mind terribly we took the TV from you?" She requests sweetly.

"Aw, but Tori! The big game's on tonight!" He whines. I have to suppress a giggle. Her dad sounded like a big child.

"Please, daddy? Pretty please?" Tori pouts. Her dad lets out a sigh.

"Fine, I can't say no to pleases that are pretty. This is why we got a TV for the basement anyway, right?" He says, getting up and stretching.

"Exactly." She smiles, bouncing up to him. "Thank you, daddy." She pecks him on the cheek.

"Yeah, yeah." He grumbles with a smile, rubbing the top of her head. "Love you, sweetheart." He says walking off toward the basement.

"Love you, too!" She calls after him. I come up to her with the big bag of gummy worms.

"You have a basement?" I ask.

"Yeah, of course." She states.

"I should really explore your house one day. I feel like I've only even been in your living room and kitchen." I ponder.

"Haha, and how many times have your slept over here?" She teases, throwing an arm around me. I release a shy giggle. "I'm going to get a bowl for the worms. Find Jumanji on the shelf. I warn you, we have a lot of movies but zero organization."

"Kay, kay. Wish me luck!" I laugh as she heads to the kitchen.

"Good luck!" She laughs back. Luckily, it doesn't take too long to find the movie. Of course, knowing the plot of the movie, maybe it's _not_ a good thing that I'm able to find Jumanji so easily. At least there's no ominous drums coming from the DVD case. I pop the DVD into the TV just as Tori sits down with a giant bowl of colourful worm candy. I sit down next to her, shamelessly sitting extremely close so that we're slightly touching. Usually I wouldn't but… I want the comfort of her presence right now. Plus, this gives me better access to the gummy worm bowl.

"That's a lot of worms." I observe.

"Mhm and I'm looking forward to spending twenty minutes brushing my teeth tonight." She mumbles while already snacking on a worm. I indulge on some of the candy myself as she starts the movie. I compromise not being able to hold her hand or put my head on her shoulder by looping my arm with hers. That's acceptable, right?

Geez, ever since I had that talk with Jade, I've been much more daring with my feelings around Tori. But… she doesn't seem to mind. It's not like I have a giant neon sign above my head saying "Hey, guess what, you mean so much to me that I think I want to date you! Yay!" Although, maybe I should go that route…

We're at that part of the movie where they're trying to convince Sarah to play the game, even though she's in denial. Thinking about the years of therapy she must've gone through, and how hard to was to face what she had been supressing that whole time… that's when the impulse hits me in divulge to Tori what had happened.

"So," I start. Tori immediately grabs the remote and pauses the movie, as if she knows what I'm about to discuss. She positions herself so that she's facing me cross legged on the couch, and looks at me expectantly.

"Yeah?" She urges me to continue. I take a deep breath as I'm starting to feel nervous.

"Maybe… you'll think it's dumb. You know how I can overreact to things." I mutter.

"Cat, I know I'm not always the most supportive person, but right now I'm all ears. If it's important to you, it's important to me. I swear." She promises. That makes me feel a little better. I exhale and pause before beginning.

"Well, we were hanging out, like any other time. Albeit this being the first time at his house. And… well… it was normal at first, and nice. But then…" I hesitate.

"Go on."

"…Then he kind of… forced himself on me?" I relay uneasily. Tori's face turns a shade of grey I've never seen before.

"How… how far did you-"

"N-not far." I stop her. "Just like…" I wave a hand shyly around my chest area. She seems to relax a little but not much.

"And how did you feel… about that?" She asks.

"I didn't like it… it made me uneasy and… uncomfortable." I explain. She nods.

"So you told him to stop?" She asks.

"Yeah."

"And did he?"

"Well… not at first…" I'm surprised by the flash of anger in her eyes.

"What?!" She growls.

"But he did! He did, eventually." I assure her.

"But not immediately. He should've stopped _the moment _you told him no." She scowls.

"Well, yes, that kind of upset me, but it's more complicated than that… I mean. I was feeling uncomfortable the whole time while his hand was… up here. But when he unhooked my bra I-"

"Oooh, what are we talking about? Did the spacey red-head friend actually score some sexy time?" Trina's voice jeers from the staircase. I blush wildly and place a pillow over my face in embarrassment as Tori whips her head around.

"Trina, not now! Go back upstairs!" Tori snaps. I hear Trina gasp in offense.

"Now, now, is that any way to talk to your much more talented sister? This is my house too, you know. I can stand here, or lean here, or…" I hear her walk over in front of the TV. "Or hang out here." She pulls the pillow away from my face and stares at me with a cocky smirk.

"Trina, if you have any speck of common decency at all you will respect Cat's privacy." Tori is seriously wazzed.

"Oh come on, Tor. I want to hear about Cat's boy-toy too. I love a little sexy gossip." Trina turns to me. "So, how were _you_ able to score a little time in the sack? Hmm?" She grabs my shoulders and leans in close. "Tell me your secrets."

I squeak in response.

"Holy chiz, Trina. It didn't get that far! And what did happen wasn't exactly _consented_. So, if you would please PLEASE leave her alone!" Tori yells. This causes Trina to step back in shock.

"Oh... I…" Trina stammers.

"Whatever. You can have the living room." Tori says scathingly. She grabs my hand. "Come on, Cat. Let's go up to my room. There's a lock on my door there." Tori glares at Trina as she pulls me by. I follow her closely behind. Trina is left there with a look of guilt.

We enter Tori's room and she locks the door behind her. I sit down on her bed and she joins me. She gives me an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I shouldn't have told her your business. I didn't know how else to get rid of her." She explains.

"It's okay. I know your sister is… a different breed." I word.

"Yeah. A complete gank." Tori huffs. "Anyway," She carefully cups both of my hands into hers and places them on her lap before looking meaningfully into my eyes. "Please, Cat, continue. No more disruptions. No judgment. I promise."

I give her a warm smile before continuing again. "So, like I was saying… He unhooked my bra and I freaked out and told him to stop, but I don't think I was very clear and he misunderstood… So he kept going." I explain. I feel her squeeze my hands tightly. "But once I got away from him, he understood and he stopped. He was very good about it."

"Why would he do something like that without checking with you first?" Tori asks.

"That's what I asked. He said it was because people like me have a reputation of being 'freaky' or whatever." I roll my eyes. "Isn't that stupid?"

"Very." Tori agrees.

"And he's not the first one either! Want to know why my old record with boys before Derek was eight-one hours? Because they all thought I was easy or something! Isn't that crazy? Why do boys think like that?" I rant.

"Well… maybe it's because you can be pretty flirty. You know. You get touchy-feely when you like a guy." She suggests.

"I'm just a friendly person! I'm always hanging off of everyone! I love people!" I exasperate. "I thought you said no judgments." I pout.

"I'm not judging! I find nothing wrong with how you interact with people. I'm just trying to get into the mind of a horny male brain. Your actions could possibly… I don't know… seem like an invitation to them." She explains. "Which is totally wrong and not your fault, by the way. It's all their fault for assuming."

"Yeah… yeah I guess you're right." I sigh. She squeezes my hands again.

"So you've definitely never…" She starts.

"Had sex before? No, not at all. The concept makes me nervous. I probably won't be ready for something that intense for a long time, you know?" I explain.

"Yeah, I know. I'm a virgin, too." She admits.

"Really?" I ask. I'm secretly jumping for joy.

"Yes, really!" She laughs. "Do you think I'm a slut?" She jokes. I know she's teasing but I still feel bad.

"Oh, no! Of course not. I just… I never knew you until this past year. I don't know your past." I say.

"Well, to be honest… I've been close." She admits. My stomach plummets. "And it was this year." My heart plummets after it.

"With who?" I ask hesitantly. "I mean, you don't have to tell me…"

"No, it's okay." She chuckles. "Remember Steven?"

"That guy you were totally into for like three months but he turned out to be a total nub because he was cheating on you with that girl from ICarly? Yeah, I slightly recall that." I hated that guy. If I could have talked during that time…

"Yeah. Him. Let's just say we're were planning to do **more** than just kiss on our one-hundred day kiss after we got home from the party." She admits.

"Oh, Tori. That would've been horrible." I frown.

"I know. Not the way I would've wanted to remember my first time. I'm so thankful I ran into Carly when I did." She relays. "But I'm glad it almost happened that way."

"You are?"

"Yeah. I consider it a wakeup call. I mean, I was about to give everything for the first time to a guy who just considered me another bitty on his conveyer belt. I won't make that mistake again. For my first time, I want to be completely sure, and know that that person cares for me as much as I care for them. So, I'm going to wait. Even if it takes a year or more into the relationship. I have enough self-respect to know that if they aren't willing to wait for me, then they aren't worth my time." She states. "I mean, that's just my personal preference. And that's why I think it's fine that you're waiting as well, Cat."

"Thanks, Tori. That means a lot." I smile. "I felt a bit guilty before for stopping him, but now I don't. He seemed kind of insulted when I wouldn't even let him take off my bra."

"So he didn't get to see anything, then?" Tori asks. I get a playful look in my eye.

"Nope. The title of only person who has seen my boobs is still held by you." I tease. Her face goes the brightest red.

"I-I'm honoured. I guess." She stammers. I can't suppress my laughter about how much that seemed to rattle her. It's extremely cute. She quickly shakes it off though and continues with the conversation. "So, are you and Derek over now?" She gives me a pitying look. I shake my head.

"No, we're still together. I mean, I think he _is _the kind of guy who will wait for me. It was just a huge misunderstanding. And I felt weird about the whole thing so I just needed some time to cool off. Thanks again for rescuing me, by the way." We smile at each other as I continue, "But we'll probably both have moved on by the next time we see each other. Then things will continue as normal."

"Alright, as long as you feel comfortable with him." She nods.

"I do. I trust him." I claim, pause for a beat and then add, "Almost as much as I trust you."

"Thank you for confiding me, Cat. I know it must've been difficult, but I'm glad you did." She smiles.

"No problem. And thank you for telling me about your things." I say shyly.

"Of course, Cat. It's nice to be able to talk about things like this. There's only so much I can talk to Andre and Beck about. But I don't want there to be any secrets between us." Tori states.

"I agree." But then I feel a pang of guilt. I am keeping a secret from her. A huge secret. And after this talk, I think Jade was right. Tori wouldn't hate me for my feelings. She just couldn't. She would accept me, and we could still watch Jumanji and eat gummy worms. "On that note… I have something to tell you…"

"Yeah? What's that?" She asks. "Ow, Cat, my hands." She winces. I was so nervous I was squeezing too hard.

"S-sorry. This is big though. I don't really know how you'll react." I mumble, loosening my grip before deciding to retract my hands entirely. Just in case holding my hands weird her out after this.

"Lay it on me."

Oh god.

"Okay, well, for a while now I've…" Then I get a thought. Once she knows about my feelings, how comfortable will she be telling me about her boy troubles in the future? Would we ever have a heart-to-heart like this again? As much as I believe that Tori will accept me no matter what, I still can't possibly think that things won't change. She'll be careful about what she says or does around me. She'll be tentative about giving hugs or confiding in me about love interests in order to spare my feelings. Because, she's Tori. She cares about how I feel.

**_What if she doesn't even invite me to her wedding? _**

No, I can't. I want her to know my feelings, but I don't want things to change even more. I notice her giving me a perplexed look.

"Caaaat?" She says uneasily. "Anyone in there?"

I must've zoned out during my brain tangent. I quickly shake it off. "Sorry. As I was saying, for a while now I've known about how my brother having a weird habit about stealing blood from the hospital here." I say. Tori blinks.

"Real blood?"

"Yeah."

"Well that explains why 'Clowns Don't Bounce' seemed so… realistic." She shudders.

"Yeah, and after he got arrested and sent to the institution he stopped. But unfortunately he's probably the reason the hospital was low on O negative blood that one day Robbie was in the hospital." I admit.

"So that wasn't Jade's doing?" Tori asks.

"Well, I can't speak for ALL the blood, but most of it was my brother's doing. So, on behalf of my brother I'd like to apologize for costing you the role of Steamboat Sally. I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you this." I finish.

"What did he even want with all that… nevermind. I don't want to know. I forgive you, though. Thanks for telling me, I think. It's all in the past now." Tori says.

"Yay!" I cry, leaping on her with a hug which she returns. I close my eyes and enjoy the brief moment.

Sorry, Tori. Some secrets just have to be kept.

* * *

**Author's Notes: "He didn't have Battleship at all! He didn't have any games!" Remember at the beginning of the story, in the very first chapter, I said this story has dark themes although it doesn't seem like it at first? I have to warn you, this story is going to become increasingly less lighthearted within the next few chapters. Bear with me. This is Angst/Romance after all.**

**Also, I'm on mild sedatives right now (they're prescription, don't you worry), so sorry if this chapter's editing is a bit lack luster. I can edit it again later when I don't have such a huge urge to sing opera. I mean, earlier I was typing a chapter and I typed: '"Done what?" Tori confuseded.' TORI CONFUSEDED! And it took me forever to notice! Reviews will make me feel better. And you might get a loopy response from me. Hey, that'd be fun.**

**Fun Fact: Before I was even on these pills, "Grande" Canyon was a typo I made. I sat there laughing at it for like five minutes so I had to keep it in. If you haven't noticed, there's a lot of Ariana Grande references in this story.**


	8. I Got A Feeling

**Disclaimers: When it comes to not owning things, I'm a pro. See? I don't own Victorious, I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas, or Vienna by Billy Joel. **

* * *

"Hey Cat, there's this cool movie out right now. It's about singing and dancing and it looks super funny… want to see it with me tomorrow?"

"Sorry, Tori, I'm hanging out with Derek tomorrow. Maybe next time?"

"Cat, guess what I just heard! They actually opened a Hotdurger joint in town! Want to check it out with me?"

"I would, but I already went there with Derek. Their Hotdurgers are mediocre at best. Thanks anyway, Tori!"

That's how the conversations between me and Tori have been going lately. I feel like I've been spending every waking moment with Derek when I'm not at school. I was right, things between me and Derek went back to normal pretty easily. We don't talk about "the incident", but I feel like we don't have to. He hasn't tried anything since, and it's just been the usual tender yet slightly passionate making out that I enjoy.

I'm honestly not trying to push Tori away or make myself unavailable to her. I'm really not. I just happen to be hanging out with Derek a lot. I mean, he's my boyfriend. I need to focus on building my relationship with him. We're pretty good together. I enjoy his company and we're getting closer every day. So, Tori must understand, right?

"So remember, Friday is the last day of classes so we'll be spending the next two days doing review for the final exam." The teacher's voice interrupts my thoughts. "I know in this school you're not obligated to even come, but I strongly, _strongly_ suggest being in attendance. This is your future, people!" The bell rings, announcing the end of class. "Have a good lunch, everybody."

I gather my books and swiftly leave the classroom, excited thoughts of the upcoming break buzzing around in my head. On my way to my locker, Jade steps in front of me and says, "Why, hello there, Cat."

"Hi J-"

"How are you? Are you doing good? You look good. Man, we don't talk that much anymore." She rambles sheepishly. I become very suspicious of her cheery disposition. I don't trust it.

"Jade, what's going on?" I ask.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just spending time with my bestest best friend!" She continues in her overly fake tone. "You see, Vega informed me this morning that _I_ felt like I was losing my best friend to her. Would you know anything about that?" She asks sweetly.

"Eep!" I squeak turning around to run in the other direction, but when I turn she's already stepped in front of me and slaps my books down to the floor. I stand there awestruck. How did she do that?

"Perky red-head better explain herself." Jade glowers.

"Okay, I know how it looks. But it's not what you think!" I plead.

"Oh, so you didn't tell Vega that I was jealous of her because you guys were getting close and that's why I told her to back off of you a while ago and all that chiz?" She growls.

"... Okay so it is what you think." I admit. She lets out a terrifying shriek which causes me to hold up my hands in defense. "But I had to! It was the only way I could explain without telling her my feelings!" I squeak.

"Well I thought you **were** going to tell her your feelings now, anyway." She snaps.

"Well I _was_ but now I'm not." I explain.

"So you're not going to tell her." Jade recounts.

"Yes." I confirm.

"But you're going to stay friends with her."

"That would be correct."

"Meanwhile you watch her longingly every day like a love-sick puppy."

"Uh-huh."

"So you're basically exactly where you were with the whole Vega thing that you were a month ago."

"Pretty much."

"This sounds like the really stupid plot of some very lame story." Jade huffs. I just shrug.

"Why did Tori tell you that anyway?" I ask. It's not like Tori to blab.

"She thought I could relate to her current issues." She rolls her eyes.

"What issues?" I pry.

"Oh, no, I couldn't tell you that. Vega told me in confidence!" Jade expresses dramatically before smirking. "Oh wait, I don't give a chiz."

"So what'd she say?" I demand.

"She feels like she's been replaced by your boyfriend." She sighs, annoyed. "You've been hanging out with him too much lately and she feels left out and she's worried she might lose you. What a wuss."

"She said that?" I gasp.

"I wish she had called herself a wuss, but the rest she said." Jade states. I think for a moment.

"Well, what'd you say?" I ask.

"I told her if she wants your time she has to earn it." Jade smirks.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because I thought it was dumb of her to talk about it to me rather than with you." She sighs. "I told her to be more aggressive if you're too busy being off in lala land with your boyfriend to notice that your best friend is upset."

"Hey!" I gasp in offense. She merely shrugs.

"Well, it's true. You have been blowing her off a lot lately. Not very nice for someone who wants to keep her as a close friend." Jade accuses. I feel a pang of guilt.

"It sounds like you agree with her." I mutter.

"Maybe I do." She shrugs. "As someone who broke up with her best friend, the loss with not many people to fall back on was crushing. I really only had you. Don't give up your other important relationships for just one so easily. It's not worth it."

"That was… surprisingly deep and sweet." I comment.

"You have no idea how much it physically pained me to say it." Jade shudders. "Anyway, just something to think about. So next time she offers to hang out, say yes. For my sanity and her sanity. Actually, not even her sanity. Just mine."

"I will for sure." I nod.

"Fantastic. Are we going to go each lunch now?" She sighs.

"Yes!" I exclaim, picking up my books. I drop them off at my locker and we head to the Asphalt Café.

"Look, there they are." Andre proclaims as we walk up to the table.

"Hey, babe." Beck pecks Jade on the lips as she sits down. I sit across from Tori and we share a soft smile.

"So, is everyone ready for the final monologues and movement piece for Sikowitz on Friday?" Robbie asks the table.

"Almost. I just have to figure out how to create a physical movement that goes along with the line 'they call me El Diablo' without creating devil horns with my fingers." Beck says.

"I think that'd be sexy." Jade comments. "I'm good. Mine's about drowning in a dream, so I've got that pretty down pat."

"What's yours about, Cat?" Robbie asks.

"Oh, um, it's talking about how much I love my mother at a trial." I answer.

"Is that the monologue from Nuts?" Andre asks.

"Yeah." I confirm.

"Oh, so you're playing the role of a girl who's a prostitute and proud of it. That'll be interesting." Jade smirks.

"Heh, yeah…" I blush.

"I'm sure she'll do great. That's what acting is about, right?" Tori chimes in.

"Right. Thanks, Tori." I beam. I can barely hear Jade clear her throat.

"Oh. Uh, so Cat. How would you like to do something Friday night?" Tori asks. Jade sends me a pointed look.

"I'd love to, Tori!" I exclaim. Tori smiles at me, but then I remember – the graduation dance! I can't cancel that… I don't want to wipe that smile off Tori's face… "But, I can't." I sigh. Jade gives me the evilest glare as Tori's face falls. "I'm sorry! It's just… it's Derek's grad dance. I can't miss that. I'm so sorry."

"Oh. Okay." Tori mutters. Another pang of guilt. Jade turns her pointed look towards Tori. And now I feel guilty that we've shoved Jade in the middle of this. Tori notices the look and opens her mouth to try again. "Well, what about Saturday…"

"Oh, for god sakes." Jade groans. The table turns to stare at her in surprise. "Hey! I have a crazy idea! Why don't we all go to the grad dance on Friday to celebrate the end of the school year!" She suggests.

"You really want to go to a party?" Beck asks incredulously. Jade lightly elbows him.

"Why not? It might be fun. With dancing. And music. Right up our alley." She says, slightly monotone. "It's open to the public, right? Not just Northridge grads?" Jade asks. No matter what anybody says about her, Jade does care.

"Well, yeah. It's technically an unofficial dance, so anybody can go. There will just be a lot of Northridge graduates there." I explain.

"Perfect. Who's in?" Jade asks.

"I'm down. I love a party." Andre says.

"I'll go anywhere a Northridge girl is." Rex sighs.

"Didn't you learn your lesson after they stole our stuff last time?" Robbie whines.

"Nope. And I don't want to. Heheh." Rex cackles.

"Guess we're in, then." Robbie says.

"I'll go if Jade's going." Beck agrees.

"Will I get to spend some time with you if I go?" Tori asks me.

"Of course." I smile.

"Then I'll absolutely be there." Tori beams. My hearts soars.

"Yay! This is going to be so much fun!" I cheer.

"Yeah, whatever." Jade drawls as she chucks a fry at Sinjin's head.

* * *

Sikowitz looks over us solemnly. We had all finished our final monologues and movement pieces, and now it was time to end the year. I knew I was going to come back next year, but I still felt a sentimental lump in my throat.

"Well, this is it, then. I can't tell you kids how much of a pleasure it was to teach you this year. Andre, Jade, Beck, Cat, Robbie, Tori – uh, other people… the past semester has been completely and utterly redonkulous in ways that a simple acting class shouldn't have to experience at all because of you. And I wouldn't have had it any other way. A group of kids like you is the reason I feel so content with teaching. And I'll teach another ten years if it means I get another group a fraction of how interesting and dynamic you people have been. I look forward to teaching you Advanced Acting next year." Sikowitz laments and wipes away a tear. "Now get out of here, you crazy kids."

"Aww, Sikowitz group hug!" Tori cries out. We all converge on Sikowitz in a friendly goodbye hug. All, except Jade who is moping in her chair still with arms crossed.

"Jade, get in here!" Beck calls out.

"I prefer to feel sentimental without touching anybody, thanks." Jade mutters.

"Hug the Sikowitz!" Andre urges.

"Fine, just this once." Jade smirks and joins the huddle.

"Does everyone see Jade hugging?" Sikowitz whispers. Jade scoffs while everyone gives a collective nod. "…Fantastic!"

We all left a proud Sikowitz and headed our respective lockers. As soon as I was out of sight of everyone, though, I ran into the girl's bathroom and burst out crying. I don't know why I'm feeling so emotional. Maybe it's almost my time of the month…

"Cat?" I hear a choked up call come from a stall. "Cat, is that you?" Tori, tears streaming down her own face, emerges from the bathroom stall.

"Tori? Why are you crying?" I sniff.

"Oh, because this was the most life changing year of my life and now it's almost over. It feels weird, you know? Like it's going way to fast." She croaks.

"Yup, I'm crying because I don't want the year to end. I love Hollywood Arts." I smile through my tears.

"Stupid Sikowitz and his touching speeches." Tori sobs.

"I know, right?" I sob back and we quickly wrap our arms around each other for comfort. We let ourselves cry for a bit before pulling back.

"Okay, I feel a bit better now. We have a whole year to look forward to. And two months to enjoy doing whatever we want." Tori sniffs.

"Exactly." I agree, wiping away my tears.

"Plus, we have that dance tonight! That'll be fun." Tori comments, a smile lighting up her features.

"Yes! That's right! We still have a lot to look forward to." I agree.

"Great. Glad we got that out of the way. I have to get to class, though. I'll see you at lunch though, okay?" She says, fixing herself in the mirror.

"Kay, kay!" I grin. We both went to our respective classes after that. At lunch, I received a text from Derek.

_Hey babe! Hope school is going well :) I tried to get you a spot at the grad ceremony but there's no room. I'm sorry! You can just go to the club early with your friends and I'll meet you there as soon as I'm all graduated. Sound good? Thinking about you, cupcake._

As sad as I am that I can't go to the ceremony with him, especially since he's valedictorian, I can't help but giggle at the last line. I had told him that my friends decided to come, and although he was uncomfortable with that at first, I assured him they wouldn't make a scene.

_Kay kay! I'll save a dance for you :) don't trip over your graduation gown! _I send back.

_Oh great, I wasn't worried about that before, but now I am! :P _

I giggle again and send a winking face before looking up at the table. "Derek can't bring me to the dance and will have to meet me later, so I need a ride." I announce.

"I'll bring us all in the van, like when we went to Wanko's." Andre offers.

"Except let's not get locked in the club for the night and held up by robbers." Robbie whimpers.

"Yeah I'm still not buying that you were held up by robbers and then had an intimate conversation with them." Jade comments.

"It happened!" Robbie insists.

"Hey man, maybe if you had brought me with you, I'd be able to vouch for you. But you didn't. So you're a filthy liar." Rex accuses. Robbie groans.

"Well if we do get locked in the club for the night I wouldn't mind that much." Beck admits.

"Yeah, me neither. Party all night!" Andre cheers.

"This will be a good night. I can feel it." Tori states. I grin at her and she returns it.

"_I got a feeling,_" Andre starts.

"_Woohoo!_" Tori adds.

"_That tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good good night!_" We all chime in laughing and singing. And I couldn't agree more.

* * *

I gingerly walk down the stairs in the black pumps and look in the mirror at the bottom. I'm wearing a navy blue, flowy dress that goes halfway down my thighs. I also have big black ribbon tied around my waist in a bow. Honestly, it's not too much different from what I usually wear, except maybe a little less cutesy. Oh well, I like it.

"You look nice." My mom compliments.

"Thanks!" I beam.

"So, a party. At a club. With a boy." My dad mumbles, coming up beside my mom.

"Yep." I confirm.

"A boy you've been dating for a month yet we've never met." My dad states blankly.

"You'll meet him soon, dad, I promise." I giggle.

"Alright. Your friends better watch out for you tonight." He warns.

"They will. There's also big, strong bouncers there to watch over everyone." I assure.

"Well at least that's some sort of supervision." My mom sighs. I hear the honk of Andre's horn outside. "Okay, don't stay out too late. Call us if you need anything."

"Thanks! Bye mom! Bye dad!" I call out as I leave the house.

"Bye, sweetheart! Be safe!" My dad says just before I close the door. I crawl into the van and, since I'm the last stop, I grab my spot between Tori and Andre at the front.

"Hey, Cat. You know Trina's not here this time." Andre says slowly.

"Uh huh." I claim.

"So you don't have to sit up here." He concludes.

"I know. But I want to." I smile.

"Alright, but if I get pulled over you better cry or something to get me out of it." Andre mutters.

"Kay, kay." I giggle. He pulls away from my house and I turn to Tori, who is staring at me.

"You look really nice, Cat." She says.

"Thanks! You do too!" I smile. And she does. It's hard to tell with her sitting down, but she seems to be wearing a red strapless number and a pearl necklace that compliments her smooth, tan skin along her neck-line… "Are you going to tweet about how I smell again?"

Tori blushes and chuckles. "I can. You do smell good again today." She pulls out her phone and starts typing a tweet. When she finishes she adds, "Then again, you usually smell good."

"I'm glad my showers are paying off." I giggle.

"Hey, stop flirting up there. You're making me gag." Jade jeers from the back, causing both me and Tori to flush in embarrassment. "Andre, turn on some music. Get us pumped up for tonight."

"Done and done." Andre exclaims. We all fist pump to a bunch of house music Andre had mixed himself until we get to the club. When we get there, we notice there's already a fair bit of people there, but not as many as I expected. Then I remembered the Northridge partiers will be there later after the graduation.

"Sweet digs." Andre whistles.

"I feel out of my element." Robbie admits nervously.

"Relax, man. Your hand feels all sweaty." Rex complains.

"Hey Beck, think you can get me a girl to dance with?" Robbie asks hopeful.

"Uh, sure. I'll see what I can do." Beck states. Robbie squeals in delight. "Don't do that." Beck scolds.

"Yes, sir!" Robbie salutes.

"Or that." Beck sighs.

"Just let me do the talking." Rex claims as they walk off together. Tori turns to me and I notice the dress she's wearing in its entirety. It's a slim-fitting red strapless dress, and the length goes down past her right knee, then is cut diagonally up to her mid-thigh on her left leg. The dress causes me to trace my eyes down her slim legs to see her bejewelled silver heels. I run my eyes up the length of her body again and I'm trying really hard not to gawk.

"I'm going to get a soda or something at the bar. Do you want anything, Cat?" Tori asks. She seems bemused by my expression, and I have to quickly collect myself.

"Erm, no, I'll wait until Derek gets here." I say. She seems to frown a little.

"Oh right, of course. When's he getting here?" Tori asks.

"Should be any time now. They get out of the ceremony at eight, and it's almost eight so… soon. I'll text him." I say.

"Great idea. I'll be back." Tori claims.

"I'll have a Sprite. Thanks." Jade sneers. Tori glares at her before walking off to the bar. I pull out my phone and see Tori's tweet.

**Sitting next to my best smelling friend with a feline name again! Partying with Northridge grads tonight!**

**Mood: Pumped**

I giggle before shooting a text to Derek asking him to text me when he's on his way. I hope to hear from him soon. When I look up from my phone, Jade is giving me a pointed look.

"What?" I ask.

"Are you going to put your eyes back in your head?" She asks. I become mortified and start looking around at my feet.

"Oh my god, did I drop them?!" I gasp.

"No. It was just a joke." She huffs.

"Why would you joke like that." I pout.

"Because with the way your eyes were glued to Vega's body, you might as well have lost them." Jade teases. I blush scarlet.

"I was just… admiring." I state.

"Yeah, like a dog in heat." She jokes. I blush even more. "I have to admit, though. She's definitely dressed for attention." Jade says looking over to the bar at Tori.

"Or maybe she just likes the way she looks in it." I argue.

"Perhaps." She shrugs. Jade herself is wearing a long black dress with lace sleeves and neck. Barely any skin showing, but I know she likes it like that while she's with Beck. Not that it helps. I've seen several guys check her out already. "Either way, she'll attract attention in something like that. And not just from you. Who knows? Maybe Vega will bag a date tonight."

I feel myself go numb at the thought. The other times Tori has dated this year has been horribly painful for me. But it's different now. I'm on my way to a serious relationship. "Well th-that would be just fine with me." I stutter.

"Are you sure about that?" Jade raises an eyebrow. "Because after all, it's a fun night. There's dancing. It's dark in here for mood. There will be slow songs. Maybe this would be the perfect time to tell her your feelings." She suggests. I just shake my head.

"No, I told you I can't." I insist.

"Still haven't changed your mind?" Jade sighs.

"Nope. Besides, I have a boyfriend, remember? He's all I need tonight."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, sweet-cheeks." Jade comments, pinching my cheek and walking off to where Beck and Robbie are. I look over to see Andre is pestering the DJ about his setup. I'm glad he wasn't nearby to hear that. Sighing, I go sit down in a booth. Derek should be coming soon. And it's going to be a romantic night. And it'll just be nice having Tori as my friend around. It won't be tense or romantic with her.

Stupid Jade.

"Stupid Jade." Tori echoes my thoughts as she sits across from me with her Joke-a-Cola.

"What'd she do?" I ask.

"I brought her her Sprite and she told me to take it back and get ice in it. What a gank." She mutters. "Anyway, it's eight now. Any word from Derek?" She asks. I check my phone to see no reply.

"Nope." I shake my head.

"Well I'm sure he'll get here soon. And I'll stay out of your way when he does. I don't want to crash your entire night with him." Tori promises.

"You don't have to. Feel free to hang out with both of us at any point in the night." I offer with a smile.

"Thanks, that's nice of you." Tori returns the smile. Robbie runs over.

"Hey guys! Beck actually got a girl to agree to dance with me! I'm going to grab Andre and we're all going to hit the dance floor. You coming?" He says excitedly.

"Sure thing." Tori agrees. I stay seated and she looks at me expectantly. "Are you going to join us?" She asks me.

"Well, I promised I would save Derek a dance so I want to wait until he gets here. I don't want to tire out and run out of dances." I explain.

"I don't think that's how it works." Tori says, cocking her head to the side. Robbie's getting restless.

"Come on guys, let's go dance!" He whines.

"Yeah, we have to hurry before the girl realizes what she agreed to dance with." Rex jeers.

"Okay, okay. Catch you later, Cat." Tori says, leaving with Robbie.

"Have fun!" I call out, slightly sad. But I want to wait for Derek.

And I wait for a while. More and more Northridge graduates show up but none of them are Derek. I keep checking my phone but still, no reply. I'm starting to get worried that he stood me up and I want to call him, but I don't want to seem impatient. Finally, it's an hour later and still no Derek. Tori comes over to my booth with a drink.

"I got you a drink anyway. Since Derek hasn't shown up yet, and it's hot in here." She sighs, pushing the carbonated beverage toward me. I smile at her sweetly and accept it.

"Thanks, Tori." I say sadly. I drink the soda as she touches my shoulder pityingly.

"Maybe he's just running late." She suggests.

"What if something bad happened to him?" I gasp.

"I'm sure he's fine. He probably got caught up talking to his parents or teachers after the ceremony. Maybe he's on his way now." Tori tries to comfort me.

"Yeah… maybe." I pout. I finish my drink off quickly. I really was thirsty.

"C'mon, everybody's waiting for you to come dance with us." Tori urges.

"I don't know, Tori…" I say.

"It's _one _dance. I promise you'll have many more afterward. And if you don't you can borrow one of mine." She chuckles.

"Promise?" I smile.

"Cross my heart." Tori swears.

"Well, alright, but only because Five Fingers to the Face is playing." I giggle.

"Victory!" Tori cries before dragging me off the seat and steers me to the dance floor. I can't help but laugh. As we head to the group, I see Jade look over and then whisper something in Beck's ear. He then nods and heads toward the DJ booth. We all start shuffling and singing to the song, just like we did on the party bus. I'm glad Tori convinced me to come and dance. This is so much more fun than sitting and feeling sorry for myself. Too bad the song's almost over…

At that moment, the song ends and the DJ's voice comes over the speakers: "I'ght we're going to slow things down a bit here. I want to see everyone paired up!" He demands. The song starts playing and suddenly, Jade is forcefully pushing me and Tori together.

"You heard the DJ." She smirks before wrapping her arms around Beck to dance with him. Tori and I are super close, looking at each other awkwardly.

"Want to dance?" She asks hesitantly.

"I do love this song." I blush. And I do. It's Vienna by Billy Joel. An oldie but a goodie. I wrap my arms around her neck and she places her hands on my hips. We start gently swaying to the music, looking at each other and smiling at the situation.

"I'm sorry I'm your first dance, and that your date hasn't shown up yet." Tori frowns.

"It's okay, you're a good substitute." I joke. She smiles at that.

"Well, as much as it sucks for you, I'm glad I get to spend some more time with you." She admits.

"Me too. I'm sorry about that, by the way." I say sincerely.

"I get it. New boyfriend, and all that. He's been respectful of you lately, right?" She leers.

"Yes, completely." I promise.

"Good." She breathes. "We'll hang out a bunch in the summer, right?"

"Yeah, for sure." I claim.

"**Are** you sure? Because, well… there's this saying that you lose two friends when you get into a new relationship." She mutters darkly. My mouth drops in shock.

"Well, that won't happen. We'll hang out. I promise." I say, staring straight into her eyes.

"Okay, I'm holding you to that." She smiles. I smile back, push myself against her and place my head on her shoulder as we continue to sway to the song. Tori tenses for a moment, but soon relaxes and moves her arms fully around my waist, supporting me. I feel her rest her head against mine and she lets out a sigh. I catch Jade's eye as she's dancing with Beck, and she winks at me. I blush and don't know whether I should thank her or kill her.

I turn my head so my cheek is resting on her bare shoulder and my face is practically buried in her neck, clear of her hair from it being pinned up into a fancy swirly bun. She shifts her head but continues to lean her head on mine, her cheek against my forehead. I close my eyes contentedly and just take in her scent, and the way she feels. This is one of those moments that I wish would never end.

"May I cut in?" I hear the familiar voice over the soft music. I remove my head from its position and look at the smiling face of my tardy boyfriend.

"Derek!" I smile. "You came!"

"Of course I did, silly. Sorry I'm late." He rubs the back of his neck guiltily. "Thanks for taking care of my date for me while I was gone." He says to Tori.

"No problem." She sighs, beginning to release me. In a sudden panicked reflex, I tighten my hold around her neck so that I'm practically choking her. It's enough to keep her from letting go of me, though.

"Actually, Derek, I'm going to finish up my dance with Tori." I say. He looks surprised for a moment, but then he laughs.

"Suit yourself. I'll be over at the bar." He chuckles. He walks away and I look back at Tori, and I swear it looks like she has tears in her eyes.

"Thank you." She breathes.

"See, you can't get rid of me that easily." I grin. She nods and I put my head back on her shoulder. I close my eyes, and softly sing along with the lyrics. I know the song well enough to know it's ending soon. That fills me with such a sad feeling.

"I love you." I slip out.

"I love you, too." She whispers back. Again, I know it's not said in _that_ way, but... it's still nice to hear it.

And then the song ends, and we pull apart. We give each other a smile as a more upbeat song comes on. "I'm going to go to the bathroom. Go say hi to your neglected boyfriend." She chuckles.

"Kay, kay." I giggle. I head to the bar and he meets me halfway, with two cups of soda.

"I got you a drink." Derek offers, but I shake my head.

"Tori got me a drink earlier. Maybe Robbie wants it." I suggest, looking over and seeing him dancing crazily with a very confused looking girl.

"Ah, nah. I'll just put it here for one of the staff to collect." He shrugs, placing it on a nearby table. "Did you save me a dance?"

"Most definitely!" I exclaim.

"Wonderful! Let's go." He pulls me onto the dance floor and we start off dancing to the beat of the music.

"So did you trip over your gown?" I shout over the music.

"Haha, no, thank god. I'm sorry I was late. I took a long time to get ready for this. Guess I wanted to look good for you." He grins, shouting back.

"Aw, you always look good though! But it's okay, at least you showed up." I smile. "I did text you, though."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, too. You see, my bud Jason _did _trip on his gown – right into me! Knocked my phone right out of my hand. Screen was completely shattered." He explains.

"See, this is why you need to get the new Pear Phone. It's indestructible." I lecture.

"I guess I'll have to now." He laughs. He spins me around and I giggle. We continue to dance and eventually my friends and Derek's friends congregate in the same area and we're all mixing and dancing in a big clump. Tori and I smile shyly at each other across the clump. A few songs later, Derek grabs me from behind and pushes his torso against my back and starts grinding his hips against me. I do the same back. I'm having too much fun to feel uncomfortable about it.

Tori and I lock eyes again and I quickly look away. That makes me feel uncomfortable. I just try to stay in my own little Derek world. Eventually I notice Tori, Beck and Andre off to the side. Andre nods and he and Tori leave through the front door. Confused, I push away from Derek.

"Just a sec." I say to him. He nods and turns to jump wildly with his friends while he dances. I make my way to Beck. "Where'd Tori go?" I ask.

"She said she was feeling sick, so Andre took her home early. He'll be back, though. Tori said to say bye and she had fun." He explains.

"Oh, okay." I pout. I'm sad Tori was feeling sick and had to leave early. Maybe it was too much carbonated drinks and too much jumping around dancing. I can imagine those don't mix well.

Jade, Beck, Andre and Robbie (dateless) left together about an hour later, and after dancing to a few more songs with Derek as he showed me off to his friends, we left as well.

"So, where do you want to go?" Derek asks as he's driving from the club.

"I should go home. It's late, and I'm pretty tired. My thighs are killing me from dancing." I groan. He lets out a chuckle and I glare at him, but with a slight smile.

"Are you sure? Because you can come to my place and drag out the night a little longer." He offers.

"It is a good night, but my parents didn't want me out too late. So, I should go home before they call the police. I don't think my dad trusts you yet." I giggle.

"Awh, well I'll fix that eventually." He winks. "Okay, off to your house we go." He sighs.

"Sorry." I frown.

"No problem." He grins. We pull into my driveway not long after.

"I had a lot of fun tonight. Thanks." I smile.

"Yeah, so did I. Every Northridge girl and guy was staring at us with envy." He chuckles.

"Really? I didn't notice." I laugh. "Goodnight."

"G'night. See you tomorrow for Nozu's?" He requests.

"Yep! See you then!" I exclaim. We share a goodnight kiss before I limp off into my house. As soon as I'm inside I rip my shoes off of my sore feet.

"Look what the Cat dragged in." My dad says from the kitchen doorway.

"But I am Cat! I can't drag myself in. Or, I guess I just did…" I trail off. My dad just shakes his head.

"Did you have fun, dear?" My mom asks.

"Yep, tons of fun. But now I'm tired. Goodnight!" I say as I barrel up the stairs and into my room. As soon as I'm in, I pull out my phone and check if there's any statuses from Tori. There isn't. So, I text her.

_Hey Tori! I had a lot of fun tonight. I hope you did too! At least, until you got sick. Beck told me. I hope you feel better. Let me know how you're doing! _

I send it, and patiently wait for her to reply.

She didn't.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Damn you, Jade. Calling my story lame and stupid. But I admit, Cat and Tori are dancing around each other now. Literally and figuratively. Things are about to change drastically, though. It may be the push they need...**

**I need to address the coming of Sam & Cat this Saturday. First of all, this story disregards Sam & Cat because, well... I've never seen it. How can I possibly make it canon? Also, to all my American readers... You should watch it when it airs. As a Canadian, I don't get the pleasure of being able to view it until later when it's posted on the internet. So, watch it and up those ratings so that it's sent on air to my country faster! I've seen the previews. It looks pretty great. Also, shout-out to Swagiana Grande for catching my 13 Going On 30 reference last chapter.**

**Fun Fact: While I was writing this chapter, I felt incredibly emotional for whatever reason. You see, I too am coming at the end of my schooling in a Drama program. One year left. I wrote in that emotional scene between Cat and Tori in the bathroom for my own emotional release.**


	9. When It Rains

**Author's Notes: This was... hard for me to post. But I have my reasons. If you have any questions, comments or concerns about my intent, feel free to PM me.  
**

**!MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS A GRAPHICALLY DETAILED SCENE OF SEXUAL ASSAULT!****  
**

**I'm also going to mark the specific part of the chapter, so you can skip over it all together if you so desire and read the rest. It's still pretty heavy, though. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. **

* * *

Tori eventually got back to me the next night, while I was at Nozu's with Derek. It was just a short text, but I was glad to hear from her.

_Yeah I feel better. Must've been something I ate. No worries._

I sigh with relief and send back,

_Glad you're doing better :) we'll do something soon, alright? Gotta go, I'm with Derek. Keep resting!_

I put away my phone and wipe my mouth with a napkin. Derek is nonchalantly pushing his sushi around with his chop sticks. Placing the napkin in my lap, I take a deep breath. "So," I start. He looks up from his plate. "My parents would like to formally invite you to dinner tomorrow night."

His mouth drops open and his eyes go wide in panic. "Oh. Uh, really?" He mutters nervously.

"Well yeah. I thought you wanted to meet my parents." I pout.

"No, no I do. It's just… the idea makes me nervous. First impressions, you know?" He rambles out, shifting uncomfortably. I laugh and touch his hand.

"Don't worry. They'll adore you, I'm sure of it. Just be yourself." I assure him. He seems to relax a little and flashes a smile.

"Okay. If you have faith in me then I'm sure I can work some of my charm." He smirks.

* * *

The next day I'm a nervous wreck. As confident as I was yesterday, what if something went wrong and my parents hated him? What if they forbid me to ever see him again? I don't know what I'd do if my parents didn't approve of who I was dating…

Doorbell. Oh god oh god oh god…

"Hello. Mr. Valentine, I presume?" I hear Derek's voice. Good. Politeness is good.

"Good evening, Derek. Come on in." My dad says.

"Thanks." Derek says as the front door closes.

"Are those for my daughter?" My dad asks. Those? What those?

"Oh, no sir. These are for her mother. I… thought it'd be nice to bring her something for making dinner." Derek explains.

"Ooh flowers! Thank you, Derek. Let me just get these in a vase. I like him already." My mom swoons.

"You trying to show me up, boy?" I hear my dad in his joking voice. Oh no. Derek doesn't know his joking voice.

"Absolutely not, sir. Just trying to lighten the load off of you." Derek explains. Smooth.

"Hmm, very well. Cat, honey, Derek is here!" My dad calls up to me.

"He brought me flowers!" My mom squeals as well. Oh, right. My presence is kind of needed. I quickly rush downstairs to where my parents and Derek are.

"Hi Derek!" I greet, giving him an awkward hug.

"Heeey you." He smiles back. After releasing me from the hug he turns to my mom.

"Thank you all for having me over. It's an honour to meet the parents of such a wonderful girl like Cat." He says politely.

"Oh it's no problem. Cat has talked a lot about you." My mom replies. I don't think I talked about him _that _much.

"Do you like chicken?" My dad asks.

"Love it." Derek answers.

"Excellent! Then hopefully you'll love what I made." My mom gushes, leading everyone into the kitchen.

The dinner went pretty flawlessly. It didn't take long for my dad and Derek to start talking about sports. I didn't even know Derek knew this much about it. I guess it makes sense, being a star football player and all. He even gave my dad tips on some sort of "fantasy football". And then my mom kept being constantly impressed by Derek's academic achievements and his charm. I guess I was worried for nothing.

"That was excellent, Mrs. Valentine. Are you sure you're not a chef?" Derek asks after finishing the meal.

"Oh, flattery will get you everywhere, Derek. I wish I heard that kind of praise all the time in this house." My mom says, shooting me and my dad glares.

"But I love your cooking, mom. It just goes without saying." I say quickly. My dad nods in agreement.

"Yes, exactly." My dad agrees. My mom beams.

"I like the changes you're invoking in this household. Are you ready for dessert?" My mom asks.

"You made dessert, too? Awh, this is too much. Thank you." Derek chuckles.

"Well, Cat made this one. She's quite good at the sweet stuff." My mom explains, grabbing it from the fridge.

"Well I'll be. You made it?" Derek smiles at me. I smile back.

"Yep. It's like a mud pie thing." I say, and then lean close and whisper, "Don't worry, it's not real mud."

"Thanks for the warning." He whispers and chuckles back to me.

"Oh, great. My work just sent me an urgent attachment and I can't open it on my phone. I wish my computer was working…" My dad grumbles. "Cat, I'll have to use yours again."

"Okay dad." I sigh.

"You have computer problems?" Derek asks.

"Yeah, my computer starts up, stays on for about five minutes before shutting down again." My dad complains.

"If you'd like, I could take a look at it after dessert. I am a computer science guy, after all." Derek offers.

"I'd like that very much, Derek. Thank you." My dad smiles. Success.

And it was a success. After dessert, Derek quickly fixed my dad's computer, and now Derek is like a hero to my father. We sat in the living room and chatted as Derek made my mom laugh and showed my parents what a stand-up guy he is. Eventually, he has to leave and I walk him out to the porch.

"That was nerve wracking. My hands are sweaty." Derek whispers after closing the door.

"Well tell your hands to stop sweating! They loved you." I assure him.

"I hope you're right. Report back to me later?" He requests.

"Absolutely." I chuckle, leaning in for a kiss. After he leaves I enter the house to see the faces of my beaming parents.

"Well, colour me impressed." My mom expresses.

"I have to say, Cat, he's something all right." My dad agrees. "I could see him being like a son to me."

"You have a son." I mutter.

"Oh, of course dear. But we're just praising how lovely your boyfriend is." My mom explains.

"Yeah, going to college for computer science on a football scholarship? Hmm! Quite the keeper you have there." My dad rants.

"I'm glad you liked him." I smile.

"We should see him again. Do you think he'll come for dinner next weekend?" My mom asks.

"Maybe he and I can go to a game together sometime." My dad chimes in.

Well, I'm relieved to know they like him. And my parent's approval of him is all I need to know I'm going in the right direction. After all, a huge concern with Tori is that they would never agree with our relationship. As if a relationship with Tori would ever happen, anyway. I mean, really. Things with Derek are going great. Who knows? Maybe he's the one and Tori is just clouding my vision with that. Moments like we had at the club Friday moment can't happen ever again. They just confuse me, and make me want what I can't have even more. It's not fair to me. It's just like what that very girl said to me a few weeks ago. I need to respect myself.

I need to let Tori go.

* * *

Two weeks later and I just finished handing out job applications. I found that if I wanted to buy stuff from the Skystore, I needed my own money. As long as I pace myself, of course. Maybe. Now I'm getting ready to go to Derek's house. Again, we've been spending almost every day together, especially since school isn't taking up any of our time. It's been nice. I've hung out with everyone from school, once, at the beginning of this week. We saw a movie and went to Nozu's before Derek showed up and I went with him to get ice cream. See, I can balance my friends and boyfriend. Heh.

As I'm applying light blush, my phone buzzes. It's Tori.

_Cat, do you have a minute? Can we meet up somewhere?_

I feel bad we haven't talked too much since the dance. But, you know. Balance.

_I would but I'm meeting Derek soon. Maybe tomorrow? _I send. I get a snippy reply back.

_PLEASE don't blow me off again. I really need to talk to you. I can swing by your place in a few moments. _

Blow her off? I'm not blowing anyone off. It's not like I cancelled plans on her. Derek asked me first. I feel kind of insulted that she would insinuate that I would blow her off.

_Fine. See you soon. _I send. I hope she senses how unimpressed I am in my text. I also send Derek a text.

_Hey, I'll be a bit late. Tori wants to talk about something. _

_Okay, babe. I need to shower anyway. _I get in a reply about a minute later.

Soon I hear a knock on the door and I quickly go downstairs to open it to see Tori standing there. I almost forget the rudeness of her text. She's wearing a magenta work out tank that shows her midriff and some black and white track pants. Her hair is also up in a messy bun. She looks disheveled.

"Hi, Tori. You been working out?" I joke. She just sighs.

"Are your parents home?" She asks. I guess she's not in a joking mood.

"No, they're out. Why?" I say.

"Because I don't want them to hear what I'm about to say. I don't even want you to hear what I'm about to say… but I feel like as your friend, I have to." She explains with a concerned look on her face.

"What is it?" I urge.

"Cat… First off, I'm really sorry for what I'm about to tell you. You're not going to like it, but hear me out, okay?" She requests. I simply nod, and she takes a deep breath before continuing. "Alright, so I was just at the gym and when I was finishing off my workout. I head into the women's locker room when I realize… it wasn't the women's locker room. It was the men's." She admits.

"That's embarrassing." I comment.

"Yeah, luckily no one was in there. So I start to leave when I hear voices coming from the entrance. I panicked and I… hid in a nearby open locker." She recalls. I start giggling uncontrollably.

"So then what?" I ask. This is getting good. She lets out another deep breath.

"Well, I could see through the slots in the locker. And who else walks in other than Derek and one of his friends." Tori reveals.

"You go to the same gym as Derek? Did you say hi?" I gasp.

"No. I figured seeing your girlfriend's friend stumbling out a locker in the men's locker room would be too surreal of a moment." Tori rolls her eyes.

"I guess you're right." I mutter.

"Anyway, not the point of the story." She continues. "The point is… I heard them talking."

"You shouldn't eaves drop." I scold.

"I couldn't really help it! I was trapped in a locker! Anyway… So his friend asked him about you… specifically about how far he had gotten with you, um, sexually." She explains.

"What'd he say?" I ask tentatively.

"Well… he said something along the lines of, 'Not far, man. But soon. I'm getting close. Could be tonight, could be tomorrow. You know I always get it in eventually.' And then they laughed." Tori muttered. I stare at her unblinkingly.

"Then what." I say, completely monotone.

"Then they left, I ran out of the locker, texted you and now I'm here." Tori recounts. "I'm so sorry, Cat…"

"I don't believe you." I state.

"What?" Tori asks in disbelief.

"Derek wouldn't say something like that. He respects me." I explain.

"Look, I know how it sounds, but I swear that's what I heard." She says calmly.

"Well, maybe you heard wrong. You were in a locker." I argue.

"I heard that part perfectly clear, believe me." She insists. "I wouldn't lie to you."

"Well maybe he was just saying it! You know, locker room conversations! You can't take them seriously." I ramble out.

"Cat, he sounded serious." Tori says.

"You're wrong." I shake my head. Tori lets out a huff.

"Oh come ON, Cat. I'm telling you what I heard. Derek's bad news, and I think you should end things with him." She declares.

"This doesn't prove anything! He told me he'd wait for me." I yell.

"So you're going to take his word over mine?" She glares. I open my mouth and close it quickly. She lets out an incredulous laugh. "And to think I believed you when you said your relationship with him wouldn't change our relationship."

"Well maybe you need to be a bit more understanding about our relationship! Which is a great one! With mutual respect!" I snap.

"Well that's fantastic but that's no excuse to completely leave your friends in the dust. Especially me!" She argues, and tears seem to be filling her eyes at the last part.

"Well I'm trying to find a balance. I'm still trying to work this out!" I scoff.

"You're not doing a very good job." She grumbles.

"So sue me. Maybe Derek can start to hang out with us as a group." I suggest.

"Hell no. I don't want him hanging around with us." She snaps.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" I gasp. It's been a while since I've said that to Tori.

"Honestly, I don't care for the idea of you two being all PDA while we're trying to hang out." Tori grumbles.

"Jade and Beck do." I argue.

"Well I can ignore them a bit more. Maybe I just really don't want to see you getting all mushy with someone in front of me." She huffs.

"What, are you jealous or something?" I glower.

"Of course not. I- you know what? Maybe I am. Maybe I don't like what he's doing to you. He's making you naive and you deserve way better." She scoffs.

"Well then why don't you date me then!" I snap.

"Now you're just being ridiculous." She crosses her arms. I'm sick of this.

"Whatever. I'm done. Thank you for the information now kindly get off my porch." I warn.

"You're kicking me out?" She asks, gaping.

"Yes! I'm kicking you out!" I exclaim.

"Fine. Sorry I tried to be a good friend! But it seems like you don't even want any of those anymore!" She says scathingly as she turns to storm off to her car.

"Good riddance! Now I'm going to go hang out with my boyfriend and we're going to have A COMPLETELY NICE AND INNOCENT TIME!" I call after her. She turns and glares as I slam the door.

I stand there, trembling, before the tears start flowing freely. Sobbing openly, I run upstairs and throw myself on my bed. That's not how I wanted things between me and Tori to end. Maybe she's right, maybe she's wrong. I don't care. I'm sick and tired of all of this. This will be the last time I cry over Tori Vega. Maybe this is where it was always headed. This is how it needed to end.

I hung out with Derek that night, and we had a completely nice and innocent time.

* * *

It's the next day, and there's a horrible thunderstorm happening outside. I never liked thunderstorms. They're loud, and scary, and it's not really helping my mood right now. I'm still upset about the whole Tori thing. But I'll get over it. I mean, I'm done with her. Now she's just a blip in my life.

Then why does my heart ache so much?

No, Tori out. Derek in. That's the way it has to be. Speaking of whom, I see his name pop up on my cell phone as my ringtone goes off. I smile. Just who I needed to talk to. I tap the receive button and hold it up to my ear.

"Hey, Derek!" I greet cheerily.

"**Uh, hey, babe… could you come over? I… really want you around right now. I just got some bad news.**" He says solemnly into the receiver.

"What happened?" I ask.

"**Just come over, please?**" He sniffs.

"Okay, my parents are out with the cars but I'll cab over there as soon as possible." I assure.

"**Thanks babe. See you soon.**" He mutters.

"Bye, Derek." I say as I hang up. I immediately call a cab and wait downstairs for it. It shows up a few minutes later. On the way, I hear my ringtone go off again. Thinking it's Derek, I'm about to pick it up when I pause. The picture and name on the screen belong to Tori. I stare at the phone in my hand, tense and unmoving. Finally, the picture and name disappear as a flashing "Missed Call" appears on the screen. Good. One step forward.

I arrive at Derek's and head in. He immediately wraps his arms around me and cries softly into my hair. I let him cry for a bit before he pulls away, trying to pull himself together.

"Thanks for coming." He says.

"No problem. What's going on?" I ask, touching his arm.

"Come on, we'll talk in my room." He says. I follow him into his bedroom and he closes the door behind him. He sits on his bed and I sit next to him.

"You alright?" I ask, leaning against him.

"Yeah, I just… god, I just got a call from my mom. My grandma died from a heart attack this morning." He chokes out.

"Oh, Derek I'm so sorry." I sigh, wrapping my arms around him. He leans into me.

"Yeah, we were really close, you know? She used to tell me stories, play games with me, take me to the beach… And now she's gone." He sniffs. I rub his back.

"It'll be okay. She'll never leave you. She'll always be with you in your heart and your memories." I mumble. He lifts his head and looks at me.

"Thanks, babe. I'm glad I have a girl like you around to comfort me." He says.

"I'm glad I could be around to comfort you." I reply. He leans in and kisses me. It starts out slow, but it becomes more and more heated as he continues. Eventually, he flips me onto my back and kisses me harder, forcing his tongue into my mouth. Then, I feel that foreign feeling of his hand reaching up my shirt. My eyes pop open and I quickly grab his hand.

"Derek, stop." I gasp out.

"C'mon, please babe, I need this right now." He moans, continuing to kiss me.

"Yeah but I don't." I state firmly, trying to push him off. "I can't be that kind of comfort for you."

He lets out a frustrated growl as he pushes off of me. "God damnit, Cat, seriously? You're impossible!" He shouts. He grabs a bobble head off his head board and chucks it, smashing it against his wall. I sit up and stare at it him shock.

"Derek, don't be like this." I plead.

"How about you stop being such a **prude**." He snaps. I push my lips together, insulted. Tears sting my eyes. "I mean, holy shit, I knew you'd be a challenge but not _this_ much of a challenge."

"What do you mean?" I ask, hurt.

"I mean, I just wanted one night with you. But oh my god did you ever drag this out." He rants. Then he stands up with a sadistic grin. I feel my blood run cold at the look he's giving me. A look of pure lust. "It's okay, though. I know how to get what I want from you, now. I _always_ get what I want." He growls and turns toward the door.

Tori was right. While his back is turned, I quickly pull out my phone. I don't have enough time, so I just press "redial" and the speaker button. I place it on his head board as he clicks the lock on his door. He turns around to look at me with that god awful look. A clap of thunder happens as a voice from the phone says "**Cat? Hello?**" I don't think he hears it.

"I got to say, Cat. You've probably been my most difficult venture yet. Most girls give it up after the first night when I bring them to the tunnel. Sometimes they don't even wait until we get out of the tunnel." He seethes. Tears are streaming down my face.

"How could you use your art like that." I croak. He rolls his eyes.

"Honestly, you can be so stupid, Cat. Oh, that feels good. You're stupid. Man, I've been waiting to say that for a while. You're stupid and annoying! Ahaha." He laughs. I officially hate that booming laugh. "I don't do art. I don't know who drew that. It was all just a ploy to get in your pants." He admits proudly.

"No… you're lying." I sob.

"Get it through your thick skull, bitch. Girls are like a game to me. A game, and a code. They talk a big game about how they think 'sex is special' and they 'won't do it with just any guy'. Yeah, I get a thrill out of cracking that code." He explains.

"I can't believe you're doing this… what else have you lied about?" I sniff.

"Practically everything. You were the hardest code to crack yet. So I pretended to like you. Was a gentleman. Got you flowers. Met your stupid friends. And still, nothing from you." He grumbles.

"So… your grandma?" I ask weakly.

"Not dead. Don't care if she was. I was hoping for sympathy sex but no, Cat Valentine is too innocent for something like that. I even tried to cheat the game sometimes. I don't know how many times I drugged your drinks, only for you to turn it down. I started to think you were just playing me, but oh no, you're just the greatest challenge yet." He grins. I shuffle away off the bed, terrified. I glance around the room, trying to figure a way out. I have to buy more time.

"But… you were my boyfriend." I cry.

"That was your own dumb assumption. I mean, I never said that. So it's not my fault you thought this was more than it was. I don't know how many other girls I fucked while I was with you. But you were the real prize." He reveals. I'm crying freely now, but I try to hold it together. "Want to know the real reason I was late to the grad dance? I was getting a blow job in my car from a Northridge girl." He says, licking his lips. He approaches me. I push myself against the wall but I feel too weak and scared to move. He grasps me by the shoulders.

"St-stop. Please. You don't want to do this." I sob.

"Actually, that was the night I first realized I wouldn't be able to get you through normal means. I saw the way you were with that Tori girl. That's when I knew. You want _her_, not me. Isn't that right, you little dyke." He spits. I push away from him and vault over the bed.

"Get away from me." I scream. I sprint to the door and try to yank it open. It doesn't budge. I start kicking it hysterically but it won't give. Then, the room is enveloped in darkness. He closed the shades on his window.

"So this is the final level. And I think we've all learned something." I hear his voice from somewhere in the room. Lightning flashes outside and illuminates the room, revealing his face right in front of me. I scream. "Sometimes, you just have to take what you want by force." He growls.

**[SEXUAL ASSAULT BEGINS HERE]****  
**

He grabs onto me and I try to push him away, but he over powers me. I sob and start waving my arms frantically, hitting every inch of his body and try to squirm away. Then I feel a dizzying slap across my face.

"Don't make this harder than it needs to be, bitch." He hisses. I continue to scream and cry as the storm rages on outside. In my dazed state he takes a moment to pull out his… oh god, no. I try to get away but again he overpowers me, so I throw back my elbow. I hear him cry out as I feel a satisfying crunch. "Augh you stupid cunt!" He cries. A flash of lighting and I see a fist headed towards my face.

Pain. Disorienting pain.

I fly back and hit the foot of the bed. My eye is throbbing and he's on me again, growling and panting like an animal. I feel his hardened self against my leg and I feel sick. I start to claw at his arms and neck.

"Oh, you like S&M, eh? I knew you were freaky." He cackles as another slap comes across my face. I cry and instinctively try to squirm away again, but he grabs onto my shirt. I feel the fibers tear as my sleeve comes right off, exposing half of my torso.

"No, don't DON'T." I shriek. He doesn't even bother unhooking my bra this time and just yanks my bra down. I try to hit him away but he pushes my arm up painfully. With his other hand, I feel him push his hand into my chest. I sob through my pain and feeling of violation. He takes the opportunity to be extremely forceful. I cry out in pain.

"Oh, yeah, that's the stuff." He groans as he thrusts against my legs and the bottom of my skirt. I gag and choke, still trying to hit him away but I've all but lost hope. That's when he reaches up my skirt, and I feel him touch me. I scream in protest, trying to kick with my legs, or close them, or _something_. He growls again and just simply pushes himself firmly between my legs, pushing my hips back painfully. Another slap.

I slump down, defeated. There's nothing I can do. I just cry. He rips the last protective fabric off and through a flash of lightning, and my tears, I can see the almost satisfied look on his face.

And then he takes it a step farther.

I scream out again. It hurts. It stings. It's rough. I hate it.

He starts a momentum against me when I feel a fire in me of rage that I've never felt before. I'm not going to take this violation. Everything becomes clear as my adrenaline pumps. With strength I didn't know I had, I scream and push off the floor with my legs. Shocked, he stumbles back, leaving my entrance. I continue to push until he falls against the door. _Through _the door. He was just heavy enough and there was enough force to completely break the door off its hinges. We crash to the floor into the hallway with the door, me on top of him. Gasping for air, I desperately scramble off of him.

**[THE ASSAULT ENDS HERE]**

"No you don't! I'm not finished!" He growls. He grabs my leg and I fall down to the ground again, but I kick back with my other leg, right into his chest. A "woosh' releases from his lungs and he winces on the ground in pain. I take the moment to quickly sprint through the house toward the front door. Pulling my bra up to cover myself and grabbing my shoes, I run out into the wet outside without even putting them on. With a feeling of sweet, overwhelming relief, I see Tori's car just pulling up on the street. I run up to it as she reaches over, popping the door open.

"Get in." She orders, her voice shaking. I gladly slip into the passenger seat and shut the door. She silently pulls away as I notice a furious Derek standing in the doorway of his house, stuffing his still hardened self away into his pants. I close my eyes and feel sick to my stomach. I'm filled with conflicting feelings of relief and terror. I know I'm safe now, but I feel like he could come out of no-where and grab me again. I suddenly get visions of him all over me, his hand on my thigh-

My eyes pop open again to take in the familiar view of Tori's car. I cautiously look over at Tori, who is driving with stiff arms, staring straight ahead. She's trembling horribly, and it looks like she's biting back tears. I glance down at the cup holder where her phone is sitting. My face is still on the screen and the call still going on.

She had heard the whole thing.

I gingerly reach over to the phone. My everything feels so weak and sore. I had really exhausted myself trying to get away. I tap the end call button.

"Tori…" I softly say. She's silent for a moment, before she lets out a shuddered breath.

"Did he…?" She asks, but I know she already knows the answer. I place my head in my hands and lean forward, crying once again.

"Y-yes." I sob. I stay like that, crying for a bit. I feel so utterly disgusting. I hear Tori crying too.

"I'm so sorry, Cat. As soon as I heard what was going on I- I jumped in the car. But I should've been faster. I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't-" She cries.

"Stop." I sniff, lifting my head from my hands. "You came. You saved me from him again." I assure her.

"You got away." She notes through her tears.

"Yeah, I did." I admit.

"You're so strong, Cat. I don't even-" She starts, and then at a stop light, she looks over at me. Her face turns a sickly pale. "I have to take you to a hospital."

"No, no not yet. Please." I plead.

"Cat, I know this is terribly hard. But you need to get your wounds looked at. And get tested. And get plan B and…" She explains.

"I know!" I cry. She stops talking. I let out a deep breath. "I know. I just… I want to get cleaned up first. Please."

"Okay… I'll let you borrow some of my stuff. And we'll get some of the blood off you." She says. Oh god I have blood on me?

"Thank you." I sigh.

"Besides, I need to talk to my dad. He'll know how to put away this sick… perverted… asshole." She spits.

"T-tori." I whimper.

"Sorry, Cat. I don't know what to do. I'm so angry and sad. I want to make it all better but I don't know how." She mumbles.

"You're doing fine. I should be in hysterics but you're making it better. I promise." I say. Really, though, on the inside I still feel wrong, and disgusting, and completely traumatized.

"Thanks, Cat." She sniffs as we pull into her drive way. I slip my shoes on and we get out into the pouring rain. She comes over to me protectively and I lean into her as we walk in the door.

"Hey, Tori. You left quick- oh my god, what happened?!" Her dad gasps as we enter. He rushes over to us.

"Her boyfriend raped her." Tori states plainly. I burst out crying again, just hearing it said out loud. I was raped. Tori quickly leads me to the couch as sits me down. "Shh, shh, it's okay. Everything will be okay. You're safe. He can't hurt you." She coaxes while running a hand soothingly through my hair.

"Where? Do you know his name? What's the address?" Her dad interrogates Tori. I lean forward and place my hands over my ears. I don't want to hear this again. I block out their talking and just focus on Tori's gentle fingers running along my scalp.

Eventually I notice Tori's dad talking a mile a minute on his cell phone to who I'm guessing is the station. It takes me a minute before I realize Tori's talking to me.

"Cat? Come on, Cat. Let's get you cleaned up and into some different clothes." She whispers. I nod and she helps me stand up. She leads me upstairs and into the bathroom. That's when I look into the mirror. My eye is black and blue and my cheeks have swollen. They're probably going to bruise, too. There's bruises in the shapes of fingers and hands all along my chest, my shoulder and down my arms. There's also a bit of blood splattered on my ripped shirt, my face, and my elbow. I'm guessing it belonged to Derek. I look like I got out of a scene from a horror movie. Bursting into tears again, I quickly bury my head into Tori's chest.

"Oh god what happened. What is this. I can't… I can't…" I choke out. It's all becoming so real. Tori hugs me tightly. I stay for a moment and although it's comforting, I increasingly feel constricted and squirm away. Now there's blood all down her shirt. "I'm sorry." I mutter.

"Don't worry about it." She sighs. She grabs a towel and wets in a little. I sit on the edge of the bathtub. "This may sting." She warns, kneeling in front of me. She dabs the towel on my face. She was wrong. It doesn't sting, it throbs. I wince away from the pain. She pulls back momentarily. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It just hurts." I say.

"I'll try to be more gentle." She promises, going back to dabbing. I want to move away, but I keep reminding myself that it's Tori. Tori would never hurt me.

"I should've listened to you." I mutter.

"We don't need to talk about that." Tori sighs.

"No, we do. You were right. And if I hadn't have been busy being such an idiot, I could have avoided this." I choke.

"Cat. This wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known he was capable of this." She says sternly as she moves down to dab my neck and shoulder.

"But you warned me-"

"Doesn't matter. I called you today to apologize. I was out of line. Neither of us thought it would come to this. Put the blame where it belongs." She states. I nod. I want to believe her…

"I'm sorry we fought." I say.

"Me too."

"Friends?" I ask.

"Til the end." She smiles. For the first time since leaving Derek's, I give a small smile back. After she finishes wiping my arms of the blood, she hands the towel to me. "Here. For… down there. You can do that part."

My eyes shoot down to my skirt. I see some dried blood had run down my thighs. I flush with embarrassment. "Oh god…"

"Don't be embarrassed. I'll be back, I'm just going to pick out some warm clothes for you. Let me know when you're done." She says. She hesitates for a moment before giving me a kiss on my wet hair. I'm almost too stunned looking at my legs to notice. "You'll get through this, Cat." She assures me as she leaves the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

I take the towel and start to wipe up my legs, but as I get further up I start to wince and pull away. This is stupid. I'm in control right now. But every time I get close, Derek violating me just flashes into my head. Plus, it still really stings. After a few minutes of trying, I let out a frustrated groan. Tori knocks at the door.

"You okay in there?" She calls.

"Yeah. It's just… hard." I admit.

"It's okay. Take your time. I'll be waiting for you out here." She promises. After a few more excruciating minutes I think I get all the blood. I throw the towel in the bathtub and walk out into the hall. Tori is sitting patiently against the wall, but she quickly stands up when I emerge. She had changed her bloody shirt.

"I'm all clean now. Thanks, Tori." I say, but I feel anything but clean on the inside.

"Come to my room. I got some clothes." She says. I follow her into the bedroom and see some clothes folded on her bed. "I… thought you might've wanted something warm and comfortable." She explains. I hold up the sweater and sweatpants.

"They're perfect. Thank you." I say gratefully.

"Um, I have some underwear you can borrow here too. If you want. And my dad said to put the clothes you have on now into that plastic bag over there. For DNA evidence." She explains.

"Kay, kay." I sigh.

"Again, I'll be outside." She says before closing the door. I quickly get changed and stuff my old clothes into the bag. Not like I'd ever wear those again. I already feel a bit better, in these dry and comfortable clothes. But not much. I go outside Tori's room and she smiles at me. I give her a genuine smile back. "Come on, I'll make you hot chocolate or something." She offers.

"Sounds amazing." I breathe, and we head downstairs. Tori's dad just got off the phone and looks up at us.

"Hey, how're you feeling?" He asks. I shy away uneasily. Tori heads into the kitchen as her dad approaches me. "Do you mind if I ask you some questions?"

"Dad, do you really want to do that right now?" Tori argues while she puts on the kettle.

"It's not an interrogation. Although we will need a full report later, that can wait. This is just casual." He assures me.

"Okay." I agree.

"Did he show any form of aggression before this incident?" He asks.

"Well… not really. I mean there was a time almost a month ago where he tried to… um… but he stopped right away." I explain.

"Okay. I ask because I just got a call from one of the units dispatched to his house. He's been taken into custody for questioning, but he was saying he didn't know what he did wrong, and that you were lying." Her dad says cautiously.

"That doesn't surprise me… he said I was a game to him. He was lying to me the whole time." I mutter. I feel the tears building up again.

"Don't worry about that. I have a recorded phone call proving everything you need." Tori calls from the kitchen.

"Good. That'll be detrimental to the case. Now, Cat, are you on any kind of birth control?" He asks.

"No." I sniff.

"Okay, hopefully we can sort that out at the hospital." He comments.

"I don't know if it went on long enough for that anyway." I mumble.

"How long did it-"

"That's enough, dad." Tori snaps. "She's been through enough today." She carries a mug of hot chocolate over to me, which I take gratefully.

"Sorry. The cop in me was coming out." He says apologetically. I gingerly sip at the hot chocolate. It's a good temperature, and creamy. "We have to head to the hospital soon, though."

I turn to Tori. "Will you be there with me?" I ask.

"Sure. I'll stay by your side." She assures me. That makes me feel a little better.

"We'll have to inform your parents, too." He says. I go numb.

"Oh god, I didn't even think about that. This will kill them." I cry. Tori gently rubs my arm in comfort.

"Like I said, you'll get through this. I'll help in any way I can." She mutters.

I look into my hot chocolate as thoughts swirl my mind. I can't even comprehend what just happened... I can't accept it. I just went through a life changing moment. Maybe Tori's right. Maybe I will get through this. But it's going to be a long, hard road. And I can't do it alone.

* * *

**Author's Note: I am SO sorry, Cat...**


	10. Aftermath

**Author's Notes: Hey guys. So, I'm just going to say that basically the rest of the story is going to be a Trigger Warning as Cat will be dealing with the repercussions of what happened for a fair number of chapters, as well as suffering from rape trauma syndrome for the remainder of the story.**

**Also, I tried to do a lot of research on the subject but I still might get some details wrong about the procedures carried out at the hospital for a victim of sexual assault. ****I'm sorry. I tried my best. ****Details with the interrogation may be sketchy as well, but I'm being honest when I say some interrogations really do go that way.**

**Disclaimer: It's probably still too early to be making jokes. Maybe next chapter. I don't own Victorious.**

* * *

"Okay, Miss Valentine. Close your eyes while we take some pictures of the damage for the case file." The police photographer says. Not like it's hard to close my eyes. My face has swollen that much. I just want to get treated. A few clicks of a camera later and I struggle to open my eyes. I meet Tori's, whose standing behind the photographer. She's been such an amazing support through this. Like my own personal body guard. Every time she doesn't like the way someone is handling me, she steps in and bites their head off.

"Are you finished?" Tori asks the photographer.

"Yeah, that should be everything." She says. Tori walks over to me and offers her arm, which I take gratefully.

"Good, because we need to get her some ice. C'mon, Cat." Tori encourages me. We walk back to my urgent care room and I sit on the bed. I've grown accustomed to doing deep breathing exercises now to keep myself calmed down. "How are you feeling?" Tori asks.

"Sore." I state. She nods and goes out into the hallway. She looks around for a moment before seeing something and walking in that direction. I hear her voice.

"Excuse me, can I get a bag of ice for my friend, and maybe some pain killers? She's in bad shape." She asks an unseen nurse.

"Of course. I'll grab her something right away." The nurse voice answers. Tori comes back into the room and sits in the chair beside the stretcher-bed thing.

"Thanks, Tori." I mumble.

"Hey, I'm here for you." She assures me. I give her a small smile. Her dad walks in.

"Oh, there you are." He says. Tori stands up.

"Any news?" She asks.

"Derek is still denying any allegations. I'm going to need your phone for that phone call." Tori's dad requests.

"For sure. Anything that helps to make sure he never does this again." She glowers, handing him the phone.

"I'm glad you had the right mind to record this." He says.

"I guess you learn stuff when your dad is a cop." Tori shrugs. Her dad chuckles before turning to me.

"The doctor will be in to see you, soon. He'll walk you through all the standard procedures." He explains.

"Um…" I start.

"Yes, Cat? Feel free to ask me anything." He offers.

"Can we… keep this hidden from the news and stuff? I don't want this to be so… out in the open." I say, biting my lip. He gives me a pitying smile.

"I wouldn't worry about that. If the local news did stories on every sexual assault that happens in L.A., that's all the news would be about." He explains. Tori's eyebrows furrow in contempt.

"That's despicable." She mutters.

"Such is the kind of world we live in. And I'm not saying that makes it okay. As a cop, you definitely sometimes get off of work hating the world a little more." He sighs. "Anyway, your parents have been contacted, Cat. They were pretty upset, but they're going to be on their way as soon as possible."

"Okay…" I whimper. I'm so scared to face them. Tori again carefully touches my arm in comfort.

"And again, you're going to have to give a full report eventually. I was able to pull some strings to convince them to hold off on questioning you for tonight, but you'll probably have to tomorrow." He says.

"Alright." I nod. Just then, a nurse and a doctor walk into the room.

"Cat Valentine, victim of aggressive sexual assault." The doctor reads off a clip board. The nurse hands me a bag of ice, a small cup of water, and some Tylenol. I take all of it gratefully.

"I'm going to go down to the cafeteria and grab some coffee. Do you or Cat want anything?" Mr. Vega asks Tori. I shake my head.

"No thanks, dad. Not right now." Tori answers.

"Alright. I'll check back later." He says, leaving the room. The nurse follows behind. The doctor looks up from his chart. I'm holding the ice pack against my damaged eye, trying to feel sweet relief.

"Sorry. I know you just put that on, but I'll need you to remove it for a second. I need to examine the area." The doctor says. I groan and lower the bag. He moves close, which makes me nervous, but luckily he doesn't touch me. He just shines a small light in my eye. "No sign of concussion. Several face lacerations, though. The ice will help the swelling. It should clear up in about a week." The doctor assures.

"Thank you." I say.

"Now, in terms of the attack. Was there penetration?" The doctor asks. I tense up a little.

"Yes." I mumble.

"Are you on any form of birth control?" He asks.

"No." I state.

"When was the last time you had your period?"

I feel uncomfortable answering these questions, but I know it's just routine. I have to think for a moment. "About three weeks ago, I think."

"Alright, I'll need you to take this pill." He says, pulling out a plan b pill. "We'll also need a urine sample and a PAP. Don't worry, it's just precautionary." He explains. I flush.

"Okay." I agree. The urine sample was fine. I really needed to go to the bathroom anyway. But the PAP was… difficult. They couldn't get near me without me freaking out.

"Now relax, honey." One of the nurses says soothingly. "It'll just be quick – in and out. You won't even feel it."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just… I don't know… I can't." I whimper.

"It's okay. We're going to try again, alright?" She says. I nod nervously. I try to relax, but as soon as they get close, my heart beat rises and I flashback to Derek. I start thrashing about. I nearly kick a nurse in the face.

"Alright, we might have to restrain her." Says one of the nurses, getting out straps. My eyes widen and I start to panic.

"No! Please! Please don't!" I cry. The nurse with the straps gives a frustrated huff.

"What do you supposed we do, then?" She grumbles. The nicer nurse glares at the nurse with the straps.

"Think about what she's been through, Meredith. This can't be easy." She snaps. She turns to me and smiles. "We really need this sample. Is there any way you can think of to make yourself more comfortable?"

"Tori… can you get me Tori?" I request.

"Certainly. Whose Tori?" She asks.

"She's my friend out in the hall. Long brown hair." I describe. The nice nurse nods to Meredith, who leaves into the hallway. I lower my legs so she doesn't have to see anything. A moment later, Meredith returns with a concerned looking Tori.

"Hey, Cat." She says. She walks up beside me. "What do you need me to do?" She asks. I envelope her hand in mine, squeezing it tightly.

"I need you to protect me." I state. She nods and squeezes my hand back. Politely, she turns her head away as the nurses again try to get a sample from me. I let out a squeak and I turn my head into Tori's torso. I shut my eyes tight and try to block out the images of Derek. Just think of Tori. Tori is here. Tori won't let anything bad happen to me…

"Alright, all done." Meredith says. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and relax my body, releasing Tori's hand. She winces and flexes it.

"Sorry." I say.

"It's okay. Even if you broke my hand, at least we're in a hospital." Tori smiles. I smile back, letting out a light giggle. This makes her smile widen.

"We'll send this to the lab. Please wait in your room for the results." The nice nurse says. I nod and both Tori and I leave together.

"I wish I didn't have to wear this hospital gown. I feel so exposed." I grumble.

"It's just for a little while longer." She assures me.

"I wish it had pictures of cupcakes or teddy bears on them at least." I sigh.

"Maybe I'll go steal you one from the pediatrics unit later." She teases. I smile at her and let out a little giggle. I'm feeling a little better. Then we turn into the urgent care room, where my grief stricken parents are waiting. My face falls.

"Oh, Cat, baby…" My mom breathes before breaking down crying. My dad turns away from me, clawing his hands through his hair.

"I'll leave you guys alone. I'll be in the cafeteria with my dad if you need me." Tori whispers, squeezing my hand. I nod as she turns to leave. I look at my parents and feel completely at a loss for words. What have I done to them?

"Mom… dad… it's okay. I'm alright." I try to assure them.

"No you're not, honey. Our poor baby was violated and mutilated." My mom sobs. It breaks my heart.

"By that jackass." My dad growls, hitting a nearby wall.

"Stop that. You'll upset her." My mom snaps.

"Well I don't know what to do. I couldn't protect my daughter. I thought that asshole was dependable." He argues.

"We should've been more careful…" My mom cries.

"Stop. Just stop." I mutter. "I need my parents _now_. You can't change what happened. I just need help moving on."

"Of course, dear." My mom agrees. Both my parents envelop me in a hug and cry. I would cry too, but I feel all cried out for the day. I just stand there, un-moving with a lump in my throat. Panic starts to rise in me, and I don't know why. The hug is making me feel so uncomfortable... Luckily, we hear a knock on the door. My parents let me go and we turn to see the doctor standing in the doorway.

"Are you the girl's parents?" The doctor asks.

"Yes, doctor." My dad answers.

"I want to talk to you both in the hall. Cat, you can stay here and relax." He says to me. My parents leave with him, but I lean against the wall by the door, and crane my head trying to listen.

"-get the results of the tests yet?" I hear my mom ask.

"Not yet. But there's a more pressing issue. My nurses reported to me that your daughter acted out during the PAP test. This could show that she has formed some sort of psychological issues involving being touched, especially in intimate places." The doctor explains.

"What does that mean for my daughter?" My dad asks.

"Well, it could be temporary, seeing as the incident just happened. Or, it could be an ailment she suffers from the rest of her life. Either way, I think it would be best to get her psychologically assessed. And I'd recommend her to seeing a therapist or social worker to help her work through her issues." The doctor proclaims.

That would explain my reactions to the towel, the PAP, and how I feel when I'm hugged. I don't want to be psychologically damaged. "We can give you the name of her therapist. She sees him already for her ADHD." My mom offers.

"Yes, we have records that she's been confined in the psych ward here at the hospital before…" The doctor recalls.

"She what?" My dad gasps.

"Oh, nothing. Whole thing was a misunderstanding. Anyway, you should probably talk to her about this. We can't make her see anybody regarding this issue without her consent. After all, it is quite a sensitive topic to open up about." The doctor says.

"I'll do it." I say, stepping away from the door. My parents look at me shocked, but the doctor seems generally unsurprised. "But I want to see Lane Alexander."

"Isn't that your school guidance councillor, sweetie?" My mom asks.

"Yeah… I feel like I know him better than my own therapist. Plus I can see him any time during the day once school starts up again." I explain.

"Whatever makes you comfortable." My dad says.

"Glad that's settled, then. I'm going to pop into the lab to check on your results." The doctor states as he leaves. Me and my parents silently go into the room and wait there awkwardly. I wish I had my phone so I could text Tori, but I left my phone behind at Derek's. Then I realize that wouldn't even work since the police have Tori's phone… I miss Tori.

The tests came back clear. No STD's or anything. I'd have to come back later to get a conclusive pregnancy test done, but I feel pretty confident that I'd receive no long term affects from this. Well, other than psychological, I guess. I get discharged and I'm about to leave with my parents, but I stop in at the cafeteria on the way out.

"Hi, Tori." I greet her. She's sitting with her dad but she stands up immediately when she sees me walk up.

"Hey, have they released you?" She asks.

"Yep. Didn't even have to do a dance number to escape this time." I joke. She chuckles.

"Well, good. Everything check out okay?" She asks.

"Yeah everything's fine. Fit as a fiddle. I don't even know what that means. How can a fiddle be fit? Does it go to the gym?" I ramble. She laughs and lets out a sigh of relief.

"I'm glad you can still be yourself after everything." She smiles.

"Thank you for everything today, Tori." I say, snaking my arms around her waist in a hug. She gently and cautiously returns the hug. I think she caught on to my nervousness of human contact during the PAP experience.

"I wish I could've done more." She mutters.

"Don't be silly. If you had done any more for me today, you would be wonder woman." I retort, releasing her after the constricted feeling comes back. I really hope this problem isn't permanent…

"I'll work on getting a magical golden lasso, then." Tori jokes. I let out another giggle.

"It's late now. You and your dad should go home." I tell her.

"Right. We will." Tori says.

"I'll be in contact with you tomorrow about the interrogation." Her dad says.

"Okay, thanks Mr. Vega." I say gratefully.

"You're important to my little girl, so I'll do whatever I can to make this go as smoothly as possible." He states.

"We really appreciate it, officer." My dad says. I give Tori one more quick hug before leaving with my parents.

* * *

It was a long, silent drive to my house in the car. It was just past 9:00pm and I'm exhausted and hungry. My mom says she'll warm something up for me while I take a shower. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I feel so dirty, and used. Even the hot water and soap can't cleanse how I'm feeling inside. The water stings my wounds, and it makes me flash back to being slapped across the face multiple times. I slump down in the shower and curl up, mortified.

Disgusting. Filthy. Garbage.

These words swirl in my head as I tremble on the shower floor. Eventually I hear a knock on the door. "Cat, honey? It's been a while. Are you doing alright?" My dad's voice calls in. I quickly gather myself together.

"Yeah, dad. I'm fine." I call back.

"Okay. Well, finish up, soon. Your mom has dinner ready."

"Kay, kay. Thanks." I shout, pushing myself off the ground. I turn off the water, carefully dry myself with a towel and head to my room. I slip on some warm PJ's, and I think before I go to eat, I'll just lie down on my bed for a minute.

Just for a minute.

I open my eyes, and Derek's standing there with that lustful look on his face. I try to scream. I try to move. But nothing comes out, and I'm paralyzed. He moves closer to me. He's a giant. He pushes against me as I let out another silent scream. He opens his mouth wide, revealing teeth like a shark. It stretches wide and his head swoops down to mine, ready to swallow me whole.

I jolt awake screaming. It's dark, and I can't see. Where is he? He was just here. I'm drenched in sweat, screaming and thrashing. The light flicks on as my parents barrel into the room.

"Cat! Cat, sweetie, what's wrong?!" One of them asks. I'm still frantically thrashing.

"He's in my room! Get him away!" I cry out. My dad tries to grab onto me but a quickly hit him in the chest. I'm hysterical.

"Cat, it's okay. It was just a nightmare. Everything's alright. You're safe." My mom assures me. I take a moment but soon I go into deep breathing, and begin to think more clearly. Just a dream. But it felt so real. I look at the worried looks on my parent's faces. My dad is clutching is chest in pain.

"S-sorry!" I apologize. I still feel disoriented.

"No problem. My fault. It was dumb of me to try and get control of you like that." He coughs.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" My mom asks.

"No." I admit. My parents exchange a look.

"I'm going to get you a glass of water." My mom says. She quickly shuffles out and my dad sits on the end of my bed. We're both still breathing heavily.

"I'm going to take off work tomorrow. I don't want to leave you here alone." He states.

"I'll be fine. I have to go to the police station anyway. You have to work toward that big promotion, remember?" I argue.

"Yeah, but… I'm just worried. When you were in the bathroom for so long earlier I was afraid you had-"

"I'm not suicidal, dad." I mumble.

"Maybe not, but I don't know what's going through your mind right now. You kind of have a… fragile psyche. You always have." He explains awkwardly.

"Yes but I get over things quickly, too." I say.

"This might be different-"

"Just… stop." I sigh. "I just want to take things one day at a time."

"Alright, dear." He concedes. My mom enters the room with a glass of cold water, which I drink greedily.

"Sorry I missed dinner." I say.

"It's okay. You were tired. I understand. I'll make you a big breakfast in the morning. Try to get some sleep now." My mom says, patting my head. They both leave and I curl up in my covers again. I don't sleep very well. I don't sleep at all.

The next morning my mom delivered with a batch of cinnamon pancakes and bowls of fruit. Not long after breakfast, I get a call from the police station.

"Hello, is this Cat Valentine?" The man over the phone asks.

"Yes." I answer.

"We're going to need you to come in for questioning around 11:00am today." He drawls.

"O-okay." I agree.

"Great. Bye." Click.

"Um, so I need to be at the station for eleven…" I tell my parents.

"I'll be able to take you there, but I don't know if I'll be able to drive you home…" My mom says.

"That's alright. I'll figure something out." I claim.

At eleven I arrive at the police station. I'm surprised to see Tori's dad waiting for me in the front entrance.

"Hello, Cat. I wanted to talk to you before you go into the interrogation room." He says.

"Will you be questioning me?" I ask.

"Unfortunately, no. Too much of a conflict of interest. I just needed to warn you that it might be a little long and rough." He sighs.

"Oh. Okay. I figured." I say.

"And don't take some of their questions too personally. There's some questions they have to ask for policy reasons." He explains.

"Are they going to accuse me?" I gasp.

"Not exactly… I can't really discuss it further. I'm sorry." He sighs.

"Cat Valentine?" A voice calls out.

"That's me." I say to the cop who called my name.

"Come with me." He says.

"Good luck." Mr. Vega wishes as I walk away. I follow the cop into a large hallway and we enter a door on the left. It's a dark room with a window looking into another larger, slightly lighter room. The cop leads me into the lighter room, where there's a table, chair, and a bottle of water sitting on the table. There's four people in the room. One is the cop that brought me in. Another is a big tough guy standing by the door. Probably to make sure I don't run, or get violent. A man in a brown suit is standing in a corner. I don't know who he is. Finally, there's another male cop standing in front of the table.

"Please, take a seat." The officer in front of the table says. I comply and sit down. This is a really intimidating space. It's so much better watching this on TV. "I'm Dan. This is my partner, Phil." Dan says, gesturing to the man who brought me in.

"We'll be questioning you today about the incident that took place yesterday." Phil chimes in. They then read me my rights.

"Let me remind you that the more honest you are with us, the faster we can get this case under wraps." Dan explains. I nod.

"Was there insertion?" Phil asks.

"Yes." I answer.

"Where?" Phil asks.

"Um, vaginal." I mutter.

"Is that the only place? Not orally or anally?" Dan asks.

"No."

"Were you in a relationship with the assailant?" Phil asks.

"Yes. Or… I thought I was." I say.

"Can you elaborate?" Phil asks. I explain how Derek had been tricking me for a month and a half in order to try and sleep with me.

"And when you refused, he became aggressive which is when the rape took place." Dan put together.

"Correct."

"Were you under the influence of anything immediately prior to the attack?" Phil asks.

"Under the influence?" I ask incredulously.

"Drugs, alcohol…" Dan explains.

"No, of course not." I scoff.

"I have to ask, Miss. He could have drugged you." Dan tells me.

"He tried to." I mumble.

"Did he?" Dan asks.

"Several times." I say.

"Can you tell us of a specific time when he attempted to drug you?" Phil requests.

"No… I don't know. I don't remember." I groan.

"And even though he tried to drug you in the past, you stayed with him?" Dan says.

"I didn't know he was trying to drug me. He told me he did just before he raped me." I grumble.

"Did you ever consent to intercourse with the assailant?" Phil asks.

"No. I told him to stop several times." I explain.

"Based on your clothing choices and actions, is there a chance you may have been trying to seduce him?" Phil says.

"What?! No! Of course not. I wasn't _trying_ to do anything. He told me his grandmother died, and then he forced himself on me." I snap.

"Calm down, Miss. We were merely asking." Dan states. I let out a breath.

"Instead of reporting to the police or going to the hospital immediately, what did you do?" Phil asks.

"I went to a friend's house to change and clean up." I answer.

"Are you aware that is tampering with evidence? There could have been substances on your body that would have helped the case." Phil scolds.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Were you trying to hide something?" Dan asks. Now I feel really insulted. I cross my arms and slump in my chair.

"No. All I was thinking about how this guy just violated me and I wanted his sweat and blood off me." I growl.

"How did his blood get on you?" Phil asks.

"I don't know. I guess from me scratching him and elbowing him in the nose." I huff. "But it was in self defense." I add quickly.

"The records show that the assailant was brought in with a broken nose and several cuts on the face and arms." Phil says to Dan.

"Good." I mumble. They ask me a bunch more questions, probing me to reveal the details of the attack. By the end, I was crying.

"I think we have enough information." Dan sighs.

"You're free to go, Miss." Phil says.

"Thank you." I sniff. I push up off my chair and exit the room. I head back into the lobby and see Tori's dad again. I storm up to him. "You have some nice friends there." I accuse. Mr. Vega gives my tear stained face a shocked look, but then it turns into pity.

"They're just doing their jobs, Cat." He explains.

"Does doing their jobs include making me feel like I motivated Derek to rape me?" I shout. The entire lobby turns to stare at me, and Mr. Vega quickly ushers me to the side, gesturing to tone it down.

"I know. It's messed up. But we have to look at it from every angle. Don't worry, there's no way Derek is going to get away with this. Even if he denies it his whole life, the evidence is stacked against him." He assures.

"I still think it was wrong the way they treated me." I mumble.

"I'm sorry about that. I know something that might make you feel better, though." He says. He then pulls out a bag and hands it to me. I reach in the bag to pull out my Pear Phone.

"You got it back?" I ask.

"Yeah, fully charged it myself, too. Technically it's very illegal to take anything from the scene of a crime, so don't tell anyone, okay?" He winks.

"Okay." I smile.

"Now you can call someone to pick you up without spending change on those blasted payphones." He jokes.

"Actually, I don't think anyone can come get me." I admit.

"Oh, well then I'll just call Tori." He offers, pulling out his own phone.

"No, you don't have to." I say, although I really do want to see her again.

"Nonsense. Tori couldn't stop talking about how worried she was about you. I'm pretty sure I even heard her say your name while she was sleeping last night." He explains. I blush at that. "She'll be happy to help you out."

"Well, okay." I agree, still blushing.

"Hi, Trina? Put your sister on the phone… No, I will not buy you that jean jacket on my way home… No, we are not turning this into a birth year. Put your sister on the phone. Trina. Trina. Okay, maybe a jean jacket if you put your sister on the phone right now. Thank you… Hi, Tori. Yeah, I'm at the station. Cat's here… It's hard to tell. Why don't you come here and see her? She needs a ride home… Whoa, okay, hold your horses. Can you do me a favour? Tell Trina I'm not getting her a jean jacket…" Mr. Vega suddenly rips the phone away from his ear as I hear Trina's screech over the phone. He quickly presses the end button and turns to me. "She's on her way." He breathes.

"Thanks, Mr. Vega." I giggle.

"No problem, Cat. I have to get back to work now. You can wait for Tori on that bench by the door." He tells me.

"Kay, kay." I nod and wave goodbye. I sit silently on the bench, people watching. I wonder how many of these people are convicted criminals… Then I have a scary thought. Is Derek here? What if I run into him? I never want to see his face again. If I ever see that look in his eye again… Oh, my god. I'm about to panic.

That's when Tori rushes through the front door. She frantically looks around.

"Tori!" I call out, bounding up to her. She turns and gives me a big smile.

"There you are, Cat." She sighs. She gently touches my cheek, but quickly removes it. "Your bruises look better."

"Thanks. I iced all morning." I beam proudly.

"Come on, let's get out of here." She chuckles.

"Please." I groan, grabbing her arm and dragging ourselves out into the sunlight.

* * *

**Author's Notes: So, there's the follow-up chapter. I did a lot of research on this... research that required a lot of breaks in between. It's heavy stuff, and I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible. I don't want to sugar-coat it, because, well... I feel like that would be disrespectful.**

**Cat's going to have a rough time, but I gave her a pretty healthy out-look, for the most part. She's upset, but I think she has a stronger character than people give her credit for.**

**Fun Fact: I really can't think of one, especially since not much in this chapter is very fun. So, I'm just going to say Ariana Grande tweeted me once. That was pretty cool. **


	11. Not Now

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, or Bring me to Life by Evanescence, or Here's to Never Growing Up by Avril Lavigne. Although, we're both Canadians, and I know someone who knows the someone who discovered her. So, I feel like she owes me something. Where's my slice of the cheque, Avril? (Yay, jokes in the disclaimer again.)**

* * *

"It's a beautiful day out." I note, walking from the station to Tori's car.

"It really is, considering the huge thunderstorm yesterday." Tori comments. I shudder at the thought. "Oh, sorry Cat."

"No, it's not that. I don't want you to watch what you say around me. I just hate thunderstorms." I explain, but she seems unconvinced. We get to the car and I have an idea. "Do you want to get lunch or something?" I ask. Tori and I slide into the car.

"Sure. What are you thinking of?" She asks.

"Um… I'm kind of craving pizza." I admit.

"Sounds delicious. Let's go get some 'za!" Tori chuckles. We don't have to drive long as there's a pizzeria right around the corner from the station. We both order two slices each and sit down at the patio.

"This makes me so happy." I remark, biting into the pizza.

"That's good to hear." Tori smiles before looking at me with concern. "How'd the interrogation go? My dad told me they can be… insensitive."

"Yeah, I didn't exactly feel like they were on my team during the whole thing." I sigh.

"I'm glad you were able to get through it." She says.

"Not without some tears." I admit. Tori gives me another concerned look. "I'm feeling better now, though. Now that I'm with you and pizza." I quickly add.

"I'm sorry it was tough. I'm sorry this whole thing must be tough." Tori sighs.

"Your dad said you were pretty worried about me." I comment. Her eyes narrow.

"I'll have to have a talk with that man." She grumbles. "What did he say?"

"Basically that you were in hysterics last night." I state plainly before reaching across the table to lay a hand on hers. "I don't want you to worry about me."

"I can't help it, Cat. I mean… god. I heard _everything_. And I was powerless to do anything. All I could do was drive." She whimpers. "I almost hit an old lady again."

"I know… well, not about the old lady part. But about you hearing… I'm sorry." I say sincerely.

"No, don't be sorry. I should be sorry. This isn't about me at all. You're the one who went through it." Tori sighs. I pat her hand.

"Hey, you've been just as involved the whole time. Of course your feelings on the situation matter. I'm just sorry you had to get so involved… but… I'm glad I have you around." I admit. She flashes a smile.

"How about we both be sorry, but recognize that neither of us have to be sorry." Tori offers.

"Deal." I agree with a smile.

"So, want to hear something funny?" Tori says.

"More than anything." I giggle.

"Well, Trina got recognized the other day." Tori starts.

"Recognized? But she's not even famous." I gasp.

"That's the thing. It was back when we were trying to keep Mrs. Lee away from Jade's show. Remember when you suggested making a fake celebrity to distract her?" Tori tells.

"One of my finer moments." I recall fondly.

"Well, Trina went in as 'Jackie Bonet'. So, someone from that restaurant that day saw Trina and thought she was actually the alias of a celebrity." Tori explains.

"So Trina wasn't really recognized as Trina." I giggle.

"No, but it was still enough to inflate her ego even more. She's been absolutely unbearable lately." Tori groans. We laugh and have pleasant conversation. It's nice, like everything feels normal. I know we'll probably talk more about my incident later, but for now it's nice to know I can continue to talk to my best friend like nothing happened. Like nothing is wrong.

After we finish our pizza, we head back to the car. "Shall I take you home now?" Tori asks. Although, she seems sad about the prospect.

"Um… not yet. I really don't want to be alone. If that's okay with you." I sigh.

"Of course." Tori gives a warm smile. Then it falters. "Cat… how bad is it… really?" Tori questions. "I mean… you definitely have no obligation to answer. After all, you've been questioned enough today. But… I can't imagine what you're going through. I have no idea what's going through your head, even if you seem okay. And that's… scary."

"You had a grasp of what went on my head before?" I joke, referring to my randomness.

"You have a point." Tori laughs. "I like to think I had a better idea than most people."

"That's probably true." I admit, and then let out a deep breath.

"Cat, like I said, you don't have to-"

"No it's fine. I should get comfortable talking about it, right?" I claim. Tori gives me a sad smile. "Can we go to the park? The one with the lake in it. Since it's such a nice day." I request.

"That sounds really nice." Tori agrees as she heads off to the park.

"Well… where to start? It's been difficult, honestly." I admit. "I've never really… experienced this kind of feeling before, you know?" I sigh.

"You'll grow stronger in time. It's only the second day. You already seem really strong, despite everything." Tori says.

"I guess, when I'm around supportive people." I give Tori a pointed look. "But when I'm alone… I'm filled with… rage, disgust, vulnerability, guilt… self-loathing." I rhyme off, starting to tremble a bit.

"Aw, Cat… Those feelings are probably normal in this situation. But I really hope you don't hate yourself for what _he_ did to you." Tori reasoned.

"I know he was in the wrong… And I should know that there was nothing I could've done. But… I keep thinking, what if I hadn't worn a skirt? What if I carried pepper spray around with me? Why didn't I see the signs? Why was I so naïve? … You know, the normal preventative stuff." I ramble. Tori lets out a shuddered breath.

"I know it probably doesn't mean much hearing it now, but you need to keep reminding yourself it wasn't your fault." Tori advises.

"I'm trying. It's just all I can think about now. I keep replaying the whole thing in my head. Not that I have much choice on that…" I mutter.

"Are you getting flashbacks?" Tori asks.

"Mhm. All the time. Especially when people touch me, now. The doctor yesterday – he thinks I might have some sort of restrictive tendencies toward the human touch now." I explain.

"I sort of noticed that yesterday. But you seemed okay sometimes, like when you held my hand and we hugged." Tori notes.

"I seem to be fine if I can brace myself and give myself a reality check. Also if it's not… a sensitive area." I mumble.

"It's another bridge to cross. Hopefully you'll get it figured out." Tori sighs.

"Me too." I nod. "Plus, my whole body still hurts. Especially my face." I say, referring to my bruised body. "It's worse today, isn't it?" I ask.

"Well, the colouring of your face is a little… off. But the swelling has gone down quite a bit. Which is good. I was worried that you wouldn't be able to see through your left eye the way it was going." Tori describes.

"Yep, ice does wonders. Can't do much about the blueberry-pie-in-the-face look though." I sigh.

"As delicious as that sounds, I'm sure it'll heal soon." Tori assures me.

"I hope so." I say. We pull up into the parking lot of the park and Tori pays for a ticket for a few hours. We start walking down the pathway silently. I'm staying close to her, but not too close. I don't want to have a freak out if we simply brush arms. "There's something else…" I start slowly.

"What is it?" Tori asks. We turn down a path running parallel with the lake. There are ducks and geese littered around the shoreline and kids playing and couples having a lovely day. It's a nice atmosphere and it makes me happy. It makes this easier to talk about.

"It might seem silly, but… this whole thing makes me feel worthless." I breathe out.

"Cat, don't feel like that!" Tori gasps.

"I can't help it. I mean. This guy - someone I trusted – turned out to only want me for my body. That's all I was to him. A piece of meat. If I hadn't of gotten away, he would've just discarded me when he was done. Like a candy wrapper. Garbage." I stop walking and stare down at the concrete path, tears filling my eyes. "Where does that put my worth as a person?"

The tips of Tori's shoes come into my vision, so I'm aware she's standing right in front of me. "I can't stress this enough, Cat, but that was one sick dude. He compared the female body to a _game_. He made it sound as if you were some sort of prize to be won. But Cat-" Tori pauses her tirade. "I… want to tip your chin up to look at me now."

Despite how I'm feeling, I release a small smile. "Go ahead." I say. I see her hand reach out slowly, and she gently places my chin between her thumb and forefinger, pushing my head up. My glistening eyes meet her determined ones. She lets out a breath.

"But Cat," She begins again, "Don't **ever** think that that is all you're worth. You are amazing in so many ways. You brighten up a room just by entering it. Your voice – singing or talking or laughing – fills the birds with jealously. You can even tame a beast like Jade with your personality. And you're beautiful to boot, in way more ways than just physical. This guy… He was in the wrong. He was blind and didn't get the full picture. He missed out. And in some ways, I almost pity him for that." Tori rants. Tears are streaming fully down my face now. No one's ever said something like this to me. "And you mean a lot to me, Cat. And so many others. So never think you're worthless. Okay?"

I can only manage a nod as I bite my trembling lip. She lets me collect myself for a moment. Once I do, I burst out into a smile and grab her hand, quickly dragging her along behind me.

"Whoa, where are we going?" She laughs.

"My _favourite_ spot in the park!" I giggle, still tacking her along. I pull her down a fair ways until we reach the spot where a collection of large rocks are gathered, jutting out into the water. I start to head towards it when I feel some restraint from Tori's end.

"No way! Are you planning on bringing me out there? I'll slip and fall and die!" Tori cries. I turn to her with a pout.

"But Toooori! You've fallen forty feet and fought a gorilla before!" I whine.

"Yeah! The latter of which ended with me having two broken arms!" Tori complains.

"And an awesome audition." I point out. I move a little closer to her, giving her the saddest eyes I can muster. "Please Tori? For me?"

"Fine." Tori huffs.

"Yay!" I cheer, grabbing her hand again and leading her over the rocks. It takes a while, since I was moving slowly for Tori's sake. Plus, at one point she slipped and grabbed onto my waist, causing me to have a mini panic attack. After some deep breathing and a load of apologies from Tori, we finally get to the last rock and sit ourselves down.

"That wasn't so bad." Tori says nervously.

"Could've been worse." I agree. We both look over the water and how it sparkles in the sunlight. The movement of the water moving against the rocks provides a rhythmical light smacking sound. I feel a gentle breeze lift up under my hair, and I know the journey had been worth it.

"I have to admit… it is really nice out here. Peaceful." Tori sighs.

"Right?" I say, tilting my head back and closing my eyes.

"Kind of smells like fish and seaweed, though." Tori chuckles. I turn to look at her and see that she has wrinkled her nose.

"I love the smell. It reminds me of my childhood." I reminisce.

"Were you a seagull as a child?" Tori jokes.

"No, silly. That'd be impossible." I giggle. "I used to come out here all the time when I was younger, with my brother." I recall.

"That's so nice." Tori says.

"Yeah… it was. We would have picnics with my parents. And they would get me to sing. And my brother would help me feed the squirrels and the birds… I love this park. Full of good memories." I explain.

"Like your happy place." Tori concludes.

"Exactly." I affirm. We sit there in silence for a while, simply taking in the sights and enjoying one another's company. Eventually, Tori breaks the silence.

"Oh, the gang wants to hang out in two days… go to Karaoke Dokie then head to my house for candy poker." Tori reveals.

"Sounds like fun." I smile.

"If you don't want to… you know. If you need some time…" Tori starts.

"I'd love to join in. I want to see all my friends." I grin. She grins back.

"Okay, I'll let everyone know you're coming." Tori informs me.

"I'm looking forward to it." I say. "So, what's your happy place?" I ask. Tori thinks for a moment.

"I guess… as strange as it sounds, Hollywood Arts. I never thought school would be my happy place but it really changed my life and opened me up." Tori admits.

"That's poetic." I giggle.

"Yeah, yeah. You love it, too." Tori retorts.

"It's true. It's the best school." I agree. We continued to talk on that rock until the sun started to set. That's when I hear my ring tone. I pull my Pear Phone out of my pocket.

"Hey, you got your phone back." Tori notes.

"Mhm." I smile before tapping a button and holding the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"**Cat? Where are you?**" Comes the voice of my worried mother. Uh oh.

"I'm fine, mom. I'm at the Lakeside Park with Tori. We're just hanging out." I explain.

"**I've been worried sick. I thought they incarcerated you at the station. Or maybe you wandered off on your own. You should've called.**" My mom exasperates.

"I'm sorry… I'll come home now. How did you know I had my phone back, anyway?" I ask.

"**Hmm? Phone back? Honestly, I didn't know it was ever gone.**" She admits. "**You can explain later. I have dinner ready. Make sure you get home before it gets cold.**" My mom scolds.

"I will. Love you, mom." I sigh.

"**Love you too, sweetheart.**"

I end the call and turn to Tori. "My mom wants me home now." I explain.

"Okay, might as well start making the trek back to land now." Tori stands up, stretching.

"Good idea. And yeah, compliments of your dad." I say, standing up and waving my phone in her face.

"He could get in a lot of trouble for that." She snickers.

"I know." I blush. Then I lift my hand to my mouth in realization. "Oh no! He told me not to tell anyone!"

"Your secret's safe with me. Trust me." Tori laughs. I smile in relief. Of course Tori wouldn't snitch on her dad. We held each other's hand once again for support as we made it across the rocks. "I get my phone back tonight. My dad said they'd have ripped the audio recording from it by then."

"I kind of wish that recording didn't exist, but I know it's important, so… I'm glad it does." I sigh. Tori nods in her agreement. Luckily, it took less time and less panic attacks to complete our mission across the rocks.

We walked back to the parking lot together, which somehow ended up with us skipping and singing Broadway songs until we arrived at the car. God, only Tori could make me feel so cheerful after everything. My house wasn't far from the park, so it was a short drive.

"So, I'll see you in two days?" Tori checks.

"Yep." I affirm.

"I'll pick you up." Tori offers.

"No, I'll pick you up. I'll wrestle the car from my parents, somehow. You've been driving me around too much lately." I argue.

"Alright, if you insist." She chuckles. "Brace yourself for a hug?"

"Already braced." I smile opening my arms wide. We move in close and share a warm embrace. An image of Derek smothered all over me briefly flashes through my mind and I tense up, so I make it quick. "Bye, Tori." I whisper, pulling way.

"Bye Cat. Have a good night." Tori says.

"You too!" I call back, skipping into the house. I couldn't tell if my parents were surprised or worried about my blatant cheerfulness.

* * *

I'm practically hyper-ventilating. The images of yet another night terror is still fresh in my head, and my throat is raw from screaming. Drenched in cold sweat, reality starts to flood back into my blurry vision. I'm sitting up, the light is on in my room and my exhausted parents are standing at the edge of my bed.

"Cat? It's alright. Are you feeling okay?" My mom asks softly. I simply nod. My dad turns to my mom.

"This is the third night in a row that she's woke up screaming from a dream. How long is this going to go on for?" My dad yawns. I feel guilty. I know he's sympathetic but I'm sure this isn't easy for them either.

"I don't know." My mom sighs. "Honey, are they getting any better?" My mom asks me.

"No." I admit. Maybe even worse. Since he can't have me in reality, it's like he must now torture me in my sleep. It makes no logical sense, but he still has a hold on me in my dreams. I don't like sleeping anymore.

"We should call Lane Alexander in the morning about setting up an appointment. Maybe they can figure this out together." My dad suggests.

"Would that be okay with you, Cat? If we call Mr. Alexander tomorrow?" My mom asks. I give a nod. Oh yeah, tomorrow.

"By the way," I croak out. They look at me surprised. Last night I didn't want to talk at all after the nightmare. "I'm hanging out with my friends-" I look at the clock. 3:38am. "-this coming night. And I want to borrow mom's car." I request. My parents stare at me.

"Cat, you know it has to be a special occasion for you to get the car." My mom explains.

"But, please? I feel bad for my friends driving me everywhere, and I really don't want to burden them… I also want the option to leave whenever I want, if I feel it's… too hard. But I really want to try to get back to normalcy. My friends could help." I plead pitifully. Maybe it's a bit manipulative to beg in my current state, but I think I have good points. My mom never wants to give up the car. Even if she's staying in for the night, she likes knowing she could go out if she wanted to.

"Alright, honey. You can borrow the car. Don't make a habit of it, though." My mom sighs.

"Thanks, mom." I break into a big smile. This seems to satisfy them.

"We're going back to bed now. Do you need anything else other than a car?" My dad asks.

"Nope. The car is good." I say.

"Great. Try to get some sleep, now." He yawns again, and my parents turn off my light and leave the room. I curl up into my covers and try to get some sleep. But I know I won't. I can never sleep after a night terror.

* * *

**Knock knock knock**

The door swings open revealing Trina Vega. She looks at me in surprise.

"Oh, hi Cat." She says.

"Hi, Trina!" I smile. She again looks surprised but collects herself.

"Are you here for Tori?" She asks.

"Yep." I confirm.

"Great. TORI! CAT'S AT THE DOOR!" Trina screams up. I hear a faint "coming!" from somewhere in the house. We stand there silently for a moment. "So… I've wanted to talk to you about something." Trina starts.

"Really? About what?" I ask innocently.

"Well, I just want to apologize. I mean, for that time weeks ago when I was inappropriate in asking you questions about your private life. It wasn't my place. And now after what's happened, I feel even worse." Trina explains. Now I'm in shock. Trina feels sorry? This is a little out of character for her. I do feel a bit embarrassed with her knowing everything, but I guess living in a house-hold where half the residents are deeply involved, it's probably expected.

"It's okay, Trina. I forgive you." I state.

"I can make it up to you, though." Trina proclaims. I tilt my head in confusion.

"Really? How?" I question. She suddenly thrusts a signed picture of herself in front of my face. The picture is signed "Jackie Bonet/Trina Vega".

"By giving you my autograph, of course!" She exclaims. I take the picture hesitantly.

"Thank… you?" I say uneasily. This is more Trina-like.

"Oh you are very welcome. Keep that. It'll be worth a lot someday." She winks.

"Trina, stop torturing the poor girl." Tori snaps as she appears from behind Trina.

"Whatever. I was only apologizing. No one appreciates good behaviour!" Trina flips her hair, marching back into the house. Tori shakes her head, taking the picture and throwing it back in the house.

"Soooo… hi Cat." She laughs.

"Hi Tori!" I giggle.

"Your face looks all cleared up." She notes with surprise.

"Oh, the bruising is still there. It's just faint enough now that I can cover it with make-up. _A lot _of make-up." I explain, feeling the large amount of cakey mush on me. I won't be able to touch my face all night. "Ready to go?"

"Absolutely. Let's karaoke it up." Tori exclaims.

"Woo!" I cheer. As I'm driving us to the building, I notice in my peripheral vision that Tori is staring at me. I blush and glance over. "You're staring." I note. She suddenly jumps in surprise like she just realized what she was doing, then let's out a chuckle.

"I've just never seen you drive before." She explains.

"Is it that interesting?" I giggle.

"No. Well, yes. I like seeing your technique to not hit old ladies." Tori jokes. I let out a laugh.

"It's a gift I was born with, I guess." I chuckle.

"Aw, think I will learn?" Tori asks.

"With time." I smile. At a stoplight I let out a big yawn.

"Tired?" She asks.

"Yeah. I've only been getting about three or four hours of sleep a night the past few days." I admit.

"Oh, no. That's horrible." Tori frowns. "Is it 'cause of…?"

"Night terrors. Bad ones. I even keep waking my parents up." I mumble.

"I'm so sorry…" Tori expresses.

"It's not a big deal. They're just dreams, right? Horrifying dreams, but they can't hurt me." I insist.

"Just your sleep schedule." Tori notes.

"Yeah, well I'm going to see Lane about maybe sorting out everything and hopefully cut back on the bad dreams." I explain.

"I think that's a great idea. Plus, your hands will never be dry if you keep seeing him." Tori comments.

"I know, right?" I giggle. We arrive at Karaoke Dokie, and apparently we're the last ones to get there. We walk in and a big smile is plastered on my face as I see my friends sitting at a table.

"Hey guys!" I greet them excitedly.

"Hey Lil Red!" Andre calls out.

"Cat!" Robbie exclaims, standing up and going in for a hug. I start to panic.

"Gottapee." I rush out, pushing past him to run to the washroom, leaving a disgruntled Robbie. I feel horrible, but I had no time to brace myself. And it sounds wrong, but I don't think I'm ready to be touched by a male a_t all_, yet. I mean, I don't want to end up curled on the floor trembling. My friends know I can be eccentric, but that would deserve some form of explanation. Luckily, I need to go anyway.

I remerge from the bathroom to see Robbie still pouting. I feel a pang of guilt. I've shut him down before and run away, but not for something as simple as a hug. I don't want to hurt the people around me I care about the most like this. I sit down next to Tori, who gives me a perplexed look. I give her a smile and she smiles back. Beck shakes a basket in front of me.

"Buffalo nuggets?" Beck offers.

"Yay! I love nuggets of buffalo!" I exclaim grabbing one.

"You know they're not made of buffalo, right?" Jade asks. I freeze before taking a bite.

"They're not? Oh my god! What are they made of!?" I gasp. Jade rolls her eyes.

"Just chicken, Cat." Tori chuckles.

"That's false advertising." I pout. After eating our misleading food, we sing some karaoke. After we had been banned, the regulars of the place signed a petition to let me and Jade come back to sing because they enjoyed it so much. We got an astounding amount of signatures, so the owner and his snooty daughter had no choice. That's why I had been able to sing L.A. Boyz with Tori a while back. And now, I'm singing with her again.

"_Say, won't you say forever_." I sing.

"_Stay, if you stay forever_." Tori sings the next line.

"_Hey, we can stay forever young_. _YEAH!_" I hit the high note and everyone cheers as Tori heads into the chorus.

"_Singin' Radiohead at the top of our lungs_!"

"_With the boom box blaring as we're falling in love_." I glance at Tori with a smile.

"_Got a bottle of whatever but let's get in this truck singin'_-"

"_Here's to never growing up!_" Our voices mesh together during the line, me harmonizing with her. She continues the next line alone.

"_We'll be running down the street yelling kiss my_-"

"_Hey!_" I gasp, censoring her like I had the last few choruses.

"_I'm like yeah whatever we're still living like that!_" Tori sings as she makes a snapping motion towards me, grinning.

"_When the suns goin' down we'll be raising our cups singin'_-"

"_Here's to never growing up!_" Our voices harmonize together once again.

"_Oh-whoa! Oh-whoa!_" I sing.

"_Here's to never growing up!_" Tori adds.

"_Oh-whoa! Oh-whoa!_" I repeat.

"_Raise your glasses now! Here's to never growing up!_" Tori belts out.

"_Oh-whoa! Oh-whoa!_" I try to match her in vocal power.

"_Here's to never growing up!_" Tori has a large, addictive smile on her face. You can tell she's a performer.

"_And no we're never growing up!_" I exclaim. We finish the last part off together.

"_Oh-whoa! Oh-whoa! HERE'S TO NEVER GROWING UP!_"

Tori and I high five and laugh as the place roars in applause. Giggling, we leave the stage.

"That was Tori Vega and Cat Valentine, pumping up the place with this year's summer anthem, Here's to Never Growing Up by Avril Lavigne!" The DJ announces as the place erupts in applause again. Jade rolls her eyes and drags a surprised Beck onto the stage. She grabs one of the microphones.

"Yeah that was great." Jade drawls sarcastically. "Hey, babe, why don't we show those posers up?" She smirks. The place resounds in an "ohhh!" at the challenge.

"Uh, sure?" Beck shrugs. Jade turns to the DJ.

"Number sixty-two." She requests.

The DJ cues it up and starts to introduce, "Alright! Looks like we're going to go dark and powerful here for a moment! These two must really have-"

"Get on with it!" Jade snaps. The DJ jumps and plays the music. Bring Me to Life by Evanescence came on and we enjoyed their performance. Her and Beck really make a good team. I wouldn't say they showed me and Tori up, but you know, they were pretty good.

"That's how it's done." Jade sighs in satisfaction, sitting down.

"Good job, Jade and Beck." I grin.

"Hey, how's your boyfriend, um… Derek." Beck asks. My smile falls and I feel Tori tense beside me.

"We're not together anymore." I state in monotone. Robbie chokes on his drink as the table stares at me.

"Why? What happened? You two seemed to be getting on pretty good." Andre comments.

"Yeah, well I guess not as much as I would've hoped." I sigh. I hesitate, and then add, "He cheated on me." It's not a complete lie. He said he had slept with a bunch of other girls while he was "dating" me. Jade stands up suddenly.

"I'll kill him." She growls. "Where does he live? I'll strangle him with my bare hands. Or barbed wire." She hisses, starting to storm away but is held back by Beck.

"You don't have to!" I cry over her rage.

"Oh I sure as hell do. He deserves what's coming to him." Jade snaps.

"Yeah but it's okay! I already broke his nose." I admit. Jade stops struggling and looks at me in pleasant surprise along with everyone else's shocked look.

"Did you really break his nose?" Tori gasps. I beam and nod. Maybe this is confidential information, but I don't care. I'm proud of what I did. Like Jade said, he deserved it. He deserves a lot worse.

"Wow, never knew you had it in you." Jade smirks sitting down, seemingly appeased.

"He was a jerk, Cat. You deserve way better." Robbie states. He seems to have forgiven me now for not hugging him.

"Thanks, Robbie." I smile. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Absolutely. So, how 'bout them Lakers?" Andre offers the conversation. The boys start engaging in conversation while Tori and Jade pull out their phones. I sit there patiently until Tori gives me a gentle nudge. I look over to see her waggling her phone near her lap. I pull mine out to see a text from her. Why didn't she just verbalize to me?

_Are you not going to tell them? _

Oh, that's why. She has a good reason for asking. I mean, my closest friends should be let in on something this big, right? Especially if it means I can avoid situations where feelings get hurt, like avoiding hugging Robbie. He wouldn't have attempted if he knew the truth about the end of me and Derek.

_I'm not ready to tell them yet. What if they act weird around me? _I send, nudging Tori back.

_Maybe they would for a bit, but they'd learn how to cope eventually. Every person at this table cares about you, Cat :)_

I smile a bit at that.

_You're probably right. But I'm still going to hold off a while. My parents are upset. You're upset. I want to limit the amount of people upset about my situation in waves. _After I send the text, I lace my fingers with Tori's under the table. She reads the text a sent and gives my hand a gentle squeeze. I guess that means she understands. Suddenly, my phone lights up again. This time, it's Jade.

_Why didn't you tell me about the break up? _The text reads. I feel bad. Jade should've been one of the first people to know. After-all, she's also been super supportive the past month or so. I reluctantly release Tori's hand to reply.

_Sorry! My mind's been pretty occupied. _I admit.

_Fine. I forgive you. Just this once._ Jade sends back. I get another one a second later. _If you need to talk about it, don't hesitate to ask. _And then, a third one, _Just as long as it doesn't take up too much of my time. _

I smile at the phone. Typical Jade, trying to act like she doesn't care. _Thanks, Jadey_ _:)_ I send. Jade glares at me across the table.

_Don't call me that._

I let out a chuckle and put my phone away. I want to hold Tori's hand again, but I guess that moment has passed. I mean, I still have to be careful. That "problem" is still around. I don't know, though. I guess my idea of a relationship is kind of misconstrued right now.

And now my ears hurt. In fact, everyone at the table winces. We're consumed by this horrible wailing sound that sounds like a bunch of cats on a breaking train. And not me kind of cats. I mean the animal. We glance around and see a girl trying to hit the notes on a challenging song. We look at each other.

"Candy poker at my place?" Tori shouts over the noise.

"Let's do it." Andre exclaims. We all jump up and flee the establishment to escape the noise.

* * *

"I raise you… five sour keys, and a Milkyway." Jade says confidently. We stare at her offer.

"I'm out." Robbie claims, slapping down his cards. We all follow suit.

"Ha, suckers. I was bluffing." Jade smirks, pulling a pile of candy towards her. We all groan. There go my Fuzzy Peaches.

"So, who here is taking the directing intensive at school in August?" Beck asks.

"Oh, I am." Robbie says.

"Same here." Andre agrees.

"Yep." Jade chimes in, admiring her candy pile.

"What directing intensive?" Tori asks. I nod in agreement. This is the first time I've heard of it.

"It's a month long in August. You learn the ins and outs of directing, and are given the chance to write and direct a small play in a challenging way. Apparently it also involves acting and production design as well. It gives you one credit so that in our senior year, we get a free period. I think it's a pretty good deal." Beck explains.

"That sounds like fun!" I exclaim. I would take any excuse to go back to Hollywood Arts early. By the look on Tori's face, I'm pretty sure she would as well.

"Sign me up." Tori proclaims.

"Me too!" I agree.

"Great, the gangs all together on this." Andre grins.

"Joy." Jade grumbles, looking at Tori. Tori shoots her an incredulous look.

"Just hand in an application form to Helen before the end of the week." Beck informs. Then Tori's mom walks in with a cocktail glass with some sort of white slushie drink in it.

"Mom," Tori groans, "You need to stop drinking while my friends are over."

"I'm not drinking, honey. This is a virgin cocktail." Her mom shrugs, heading out to the patio. Tori just sighs.

"Why do they call it a virgin cocktail anyway?" Robbie asks. I freeze. Virgin?

"Why are you asking? You should know all about what it means to be a virgin." Jade jeers.

"Hey!" Robbie gasps. Rex just laughs. I know what it means to be a virgin…

"Jade, that was rude. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin." Tori scolds.

And I'm not…

"I know, I was just teasing." Jade rolls her eyes. "Take a joke."

"Uh, Lil Red don't look too good." Andre points out. I'm staring straight ahead, wide-eyed and I'm starting to breathe deeply.

"Cat-" Tori starts in a panicked voice, realizing what had triggered my response.

"Gottapee." I exclaim again, dashing away from the table.

"Man, that girl has a bladder the size of a walnut…" I hear Andre comment as I run up the stairs into the Vega's bathroom. I shut the door behind me and lean against the door, trying to breathe. I'm starting to realize this was a bad place to hide. This is where I was when I was being cleaned up. Right after it happened. Right after…

My innocence was lost.

I stumble forward to the sink, staring the mirror at my flushed face. I try to keep it together, but I'm losing hold. I can see remnants of the bruises through my make-up, if I look close. I feel sick to my stomach. I debate just collapsing to the ground and giving in to the overwhelming shame, or just vomiting in the toilet. I end up collapsing on the ground. I'm shaking, practically hyperventilating, and sweating. My vision blurs. I'm on the verge of losing myself.

"Cat? Cat, are you okay?" I hear Tori call, knocking on the door. I'm too panicked to answer. "Cat?! Are you in there? Please answer." I can tell she's getting nervous, but I'm clinging to her voice like my life depends on it. "I'm coming in, okay?" She announces. Okay.

She walks in and gasps at my sorry state. She quickly closes the door and kneels in front of me. "Oh my god, Cat…" She sighs with sadness and concern. I try to calm my breathing.

"I'm not a…" I barely gasp out.

"Cat…" She sighs again. I can tell she's at a loss. She wants to comfort me but she can't touch me. So, she tries to with her eyes. I stare into those deep pools of concern found in her irises. It helps, a little. I let out a shuddered breath.

"I didn't even think about that. How I'm not… that's supposed to be something special, right Tori? We talked about it. How we'd wait and give it to someone who deserved it. Now I can't. Now that I'm not… a virgin." I choke out the last part, tears filling my eyes.

"Maybe not, in some people's eyes… but I still consider you a virgin." Tori states. My jaw clenches. I'm almost frustrated with her for teasing me like this.

"How could you? That's how it works. Things were... broken. You saw the blood. In this very room." I argue, my shoulders starting to be wracked with sobs.

"Biologically, sure. But that part can get ruptured in other ways. I hear it happens a lot in horseback riding." Tori rambles. I give her a confused look. She's sounding like me. "Sorry, not the point. Listen, I feel virginity is more than people say it is. I feel like it's… a gift. A gift for someone else and yourself. It's sharing a deeply intimate moment for the first time, in a way where you, in a sense, bare all to someone you love willingly because you want to share it." Tori explains. I look at her in awe.

"So, it's more than the physical action. To me, anyway." Tori continues. "You didn't give anyone your virginity, Cat. It was forcefully taken away. Which is absolutely horrible and shouldn't happen to anyone, let alone someone like you. But, you still have something he couldn't take. The chance to have that connection of mutual understanding fueled by a passion for each other, littered around with nervousness, curiosity and not knowing what goes where. You still have that to give. And I think that's more important. No one can take that from you, Cat. It's only something you can give, as a gift." Tori finishes.

"Tori…" I breathe out. She worded it so beautifully. It was hard for me not to believe. The next thing I knew, I was leaping on her, my arms wrapped around her neck and burying my head into the crook of her neck. The force of the impact causes her to fall back onto the floor, leaning back with her arms behind her, propping herself up. She sits there for a moment, not knowing how to react. I snuggle into her more, trying to tell her it's okay. Getting the message, she hesitates for a moment before slowly and lightly putting her arms around me.

The constricted feeling hits fast. Even though I know it's Tori's body, I keep picturing Derek trying to take what Tori says he can't. I tense up, gritting my teeth trying to push that feeling out. I'm not going to let it ruin this moment. The image of Derek thrusting into me pops into my mind and I let out a small hiss. I know she hears it.

"A-are you okay?" Tori's voice is shaky and uncertain. I can feel her breath against the side of my face. Tori's breath. The sign that she's living. That she's here. I relax a little.

"Mhm." I murmur.

"Aren't you getting flashbacks?" She asks.

"Yeah." I admit, gritting my teeth again.

"How are you fighting them off?" Tori whispers. I pause for a moment.

"…I'm telling them 'not now'." I state, giving her a squeeze. She gently rests her head on mine, and now I'm flashing back to the night of the Northridge graduation dance, when I was dancing with Tori. One of my favourite memories.

I still feel constricted, but I'm relaxed. We stay like that for a few minutes. I'm so entangled in her breath. The way it feels brushing against my cheek. How it tickles my ear. How her body expands with each inhale of the life giving oxygen. It's beautiful. I'm still so into her. I even start to drift off into sleep.

"Cat…" She mutters.

"Mmm?" I stir slightly, being pulled from unconsciousness.

"We should go back downstairs… Our friends are still down there." She sighs. Her hold on me loosens. This both relieves and irritates me. It's like my mind is at war with itself.

"Yeah… you're right." I yawn, pulling away from her. We slowly stand up. I feel weak again, and I supress another yawn. Having a semi-break down and fighting off my psychological problems seems to take a lot out of me.

"You feel better?" Tori asks, opening the door.

"Loads. I'm just exhausted. I think I'll head home now, if that's okay with you." I tell her. She looks sad but she smiles anyway.

"Okay, I understand." Tori says. We head downstairs and everyone turns to look at us.

"About time." Andre quips.

"I know girls go to the washroom together a lot, but going together at home is just ridiculous." Rex jeers.

"I told you, I needed to go too. It was a coincidence." Tori argues.

"I'm heading out everyone. Byyyee!" I call out, heading to the door.

"But Cat, what about your candy?" Robbie asks. I give a tired shrug.

"Jade can have it."

I leave the house hearing a collective gasp from everyone and a "yesss!" from Jade.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Yeah, Cat just turned down candy. Poor girl. I would hug her if she wasn't having such a rough time with that. But she seems to be braving it for Tori. Speaking of, poor Tori as well. How must she feel? I mean, I know... I swear I love Cat and Tori. I don't hate them. I don't want them to be miserable forever. SOON, GUYS. SOON.**

**Just wanted to remind you all that there's a box down there where you can write all kinds of words about this story. Positive words... Critical words... I accept them all. Unless it's nonconstructive criticism. What can I do with that? But positive reviews help too. Last night, I didn't feel like writing at all. Then my phone told me I got a review for chapter 10. It was a very nice review (you rock!) and I immediately wrote one of my favourite scenes for a later chapter. So yeah! It helps! So do it, if it doesn't put you out too much.**

**Fun Fact: I tried to Google a park with a lake in it around the Hollywood/L.A. area... None! So the one in here is made up, but it's based off several watery areas that I've been to near where I live. One of which is in Stratford, Ontario. For Bieber fans, that's where he grew up. For Shakespeare fans, that's where Shakespeare is performed all the time by pro actors!**


	12. The One Where Cat Sleeps

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or Friends. I mean. Wait. No. I own friends. I mean I HAVE friends. I don't own the TV Friends... are we all clear? I'm not... A doctor once told me he has no friends during my appointment. That was a depressing visit. **

* * *

"Lotion?"

I shake my head. "No thanks."

"Well if you're sure. It's the newest scent from Bed, Bath and Yonder. It has Shea butter." Lane describes, setting the bottle down on his desk. He leans back in his chair, hands folded, and eyes me. I shift uncomfortably in the bamboo egg chair in his office and my eyes dart along the floor. It's a Monday, and I'm finally meeting with Lane. He asked me over the phone where I would like to meet and talk. Of course I said his office at Hollywood Arts. But now I'm feeling nervous again, like this whole thing was a bad idea.

"Is time up yet?" I mumble.

"No, Cat, we just started." Lane says softly. "Look, if you're not ready to talk about it, we can hold that off. You can talk about anything you like. I'll listen. Sometimes simply talking about other minor concerns can make you feel more comfortable opening about the more prominent ones."

"Okay." I nod meekly, taking a deep breath.

"I have to establish one thing though." Lane states. I look up at him. His face is very serious. I'm not used to such a serious Lane. Usually, he's a bit of a goofball. I heard he was very adamant once when dealing with the producers of "The Wood", but I was sick that week so I wouldn't know.

"Okay, what?" I ask.

"Your parents… did tell me what you were dealing with." Lane says. I shift in my seat again. "Something like this can be extremely traumatic. Sometimes, the trauma can cause the victim to act out in radical ways. Self-destructive ways." He explains. I look at him in bewilderment. He lets out a sigh. "Your safety is most important, so I need you to be honest with me if you've had any ideas about coping through activities such as self-harm, drug abuse, alcohol, etcetera."

"No, no I promise I haven't." I say sincerely. First my dad, now Lane. Am I supposed to want to do those things? I guess some people do when they're in my situation. But, personally, it's not for me. I'd rather do happy and fun things so get away from it. Sober things. That's just the kind of person I am, I guess.

Lane leans forward, studying me for a moment. Seeming satisfied with my response, he leans back again. "Okay, I just had to ask. Thank you for being honest. Now, what would you like to talk about?" Lane opens the floor. I have to think about it… I had to recall every part of the incident for the police. That was unpleasant enough as it was. I don't want to talk about how I _feel_ about it. Not yet. What should I talk about? Something unrelated? Tori? No. He said start with something minor. My feelings for Tori are so far from the "minor" side of the spectrum. Lane can tell I'm struggling to think of something.

"Is there anything specific you want to work on today?" He asks, trying to help me make a decision. I kind of have an idea.

"I guess… I've been having night terrors for the past week. About… it. They won't go away. I can't sleep. My parents can't sleep. It's not fun." I pout.

"What do you see in these dreams?" Lane asks.

"Um…" My eyes immediately downcast, my hands fiddling in my lap. "Sometimes I can't even remember… but mostly it's just dark… but I can feel-" I get caught off by a catch in my throat. Lane holds up one of his hands.

"I get the picture. You don't have to go into detail." He assures me. I relax a little. "Did you ever have night terrors before the incident?"

"Yeah, rarely though. And not like this. I would wake up a little scared. But I wouldn't scream, or cry, or hyperventilate. They were usually just monsters, so it didn't feel real when I woke up. Now, _he's _the monster." I explain. My eyes darken. "And he visits me every night."

"Are they getting any better?" Lane asks. I shake my head. They still haven't. "How do you calm yourself down?"

"I don't. Well, not fully. My parents sit with me in my room until I stop freaking out, then they leave. But I can't fall asleep after that." I explain. He would be able to see the bags under my eyes if I didn't still have my bruises covered in make-up. They've faded a lot, though. Now they're just a sickening yellowish colour on my cheeks, and a bit of purple around my left eye. Good thing, too. This much make-up can't be good for my skin. "I'm starting to be afraid of falling asleep at all."

"During the day, do you feel the same kind of anxiety?" Lane asks.

"Sometimes. Most of the time. When I'm alone." I admit. "But then, even sometimes when I'm with people. Even my parents. And I have to excuse myself."

Lane nods, understanding. "Can you recall anything that has brought you out of that anxiety or distracted you from it successfully?"

I don't have to think too hard. I mean, she doesn't exactly cure my anxiety, but she definitely suppresses it a fair bit. "Yeah." I say.

"That's good. So, how about you try this… From now on, whenever you have a night terror, try thinking of that thing that calms you down during the day. Or better yet, have that thing there with you readily available for when you wake up. So, if it's a place, have a picture of it on your bedside table. Or a chocolate bar." Lane suggests. I give a smirk. Of course Lane would think candy of some kind would be what calms me down.

"Okay, that's a good idea. I'll try it." I say.

"Good. Let me know how it goes. Anything else you want to talk about?" Lane asks. I shake my head.

"I think I'm done for today." I state.

"I respect that." Lane smiles. We both stand up and he opens the door for me. "Shall we meet again soon?"

"Well, I'm taking that one month intensive starting next week." I tell him.

"Great, I'll be around, whenever you need to talk." He promises as I walk past him out the door. I stop for a moment, turning to address him.

"Thanks, Lane. For doing this and listening to me." I say.

"It's what I do, Cat." Lane smiles.

As I turn and walk away, I can't help but giggle at the image of Tori sitting on my bedside table.

* * *

This feels normal. Well, as normal as it can be expected. I'm in a canoe, somewhere. In the middle of a pond. I'm alone, and it's peaceful. Off in the distance, I can see a bunch of rocks jutting out into the water. There's two figures sitting close together on the rock farthest out. I can't make either of them out.

I can't relax, though. I know he's close. Just like clockwork, I feel the canoe shift underneath me from some new weight. I turn my head, to see him crouched on the other seat like a gargoyle, leering at me. He has that repulsive look on his face.

"You weren't supposed to be able to find me here." I tremble out.

"You can't escape me. You're the ultimate goal, and I always get what I want." He growls. His voice isn't human. "Now, let's finish what I started."

I can't even scream before he tips the canoe over. Now I'm in the water, flailing frantically. I look toward the rocks, to the two figures. I try to call out, but I can only cough and sputter as water fills my mouth and lungs. Despite this, I see one of the figures stand up, looking right in my direction.

But it's too late. He has me, and he drags me under. I'm in the darkness again, and he's everywhere. I can't move. I can't scream. He just has his way. I'm desperate to escape. Desperate to-

"NO! NONONO!" I cry out, letting out a bunch more shrieks as I sit up in bed. The sweat on my body makes me feel like I had just been in the water. It only makes it worse. I feel myself gasping for breath. I'm awake, but it's still dark. He's still around me.

I'm vaguely aware of my parents running into the room and flicking on the light, but I'm too occupied with _him_. Derek's face. Derek's hands. Derek's- I need to try to block him out again. Tori's face. Derek's sick grin. Derek's encumbering body. Tori's hair. Tori's smile. Derek's lips smashed against mine. Tori's hand in mine. Tori's skin, basking in the sunlight…

I start to calm down. I still feel panicked, but it's working better than the last two nights since Lane suggested it. Derek is still in my mind, but Tori's there too. The room comes into my vision. My parents look tired.

"She seems to be coming to a bit quicker than usual." My dad notes.

"Yeah… Cat, is it getting better?" My mom asks. I force myself to look at her. T… Tori's head resting on mine…

"No." I gasp out, shaking my head. I'm still out of breath. "B-but I'm working on it." Derek flashes into my mind again, and I wince. This feels impossible.

"Well, okay. Go back to sleep, now." My mom yawns. They leave silently. They don't stay long anymore. Just until I stop screaming and start breathing properly again. They never question why they never hear me again the rest of the night. But I'm back to lying awake, shaking and terrified until the light starts to peak through my window.

The day goes pretty normally after that. I help my mom out around the house. I go on The Slap. I sing some songs. I try not to think about what happened to me. Mostly the last one. Like I've said, it's the worst when I'm alone. Something different happens today, though, when my dad comes storming in early from work, around 3:00pm.

"What are you doing home early?" My mom asks. He stops, leans against a table and runs his hand over his face, frustrated.

"I got 'sent home early'. What am I? A child?" My dad complains.

"What for?" I ask. He turns to me, practically glaring. I shrink away a bit.

"I made a minor error on an office program. Easily fixed. It doesn't matter though. I got dragged into my boss' office and he told me my productivity had gone way down in the past week or so. He said I seemed tired and asked if I was going through any personal problems. I explained I hadn't been able to sleep very well at night lately because of family issues." My dad grumbles. I give a guilty squeak.

"Oh, honey…" My mom sighs.

"So the guy forces me to take a few days off. I might as well wave goodbye to that promotion now!" My dad yells.

"Dad, I'm so sorry…" I mumble.

"Yeah, well, I don't think I can handle this much longer." He huffs. "I swear another night of your screaming and I'll crack!"

"Honey, stop." My mom hisses.

"Oh, don't give me that. You're sick of it too, and you know it. How much longer do we have to deal with it?" My dad complains. I sniff back tears.

"I agree it would be nice if we could have a break, but it's not Cat's fault…" My mom sighs. That's all I need to hear. I dart up the stairs. "Oh, Cat-!" my mom calls after me.

I run into my room and grab my overnight duffle bag. Through my blurry vision, I start stuffing random items, clothes and pyjama's into the bag. My mom's at the door. "Cat, what do you think you're doing?" She asks, shocked.

"Packing." I state plainly, walking past her to grab my toothbrush and toothpaste from the bathroom, shoving that in my bag. Have I got everything? Underwear.

"And where in the sweet baby Moses do you think you're going?" She asks incredulously as I pack away some underwear. I unplug my phone, put it in my pocket and sling the duffle bag over my shoulder.

"Away." I say, running past her and down the stairs. I walk past my dad, who stands there crossing his arms, not doing anything. I throw open the front door.

"Caterina Valentine! You come back here right this instant!" My mom yells after me. But I've already jumped on my bike and I'm pedalling as fast as I can. I pedal until my legs start to burn, and I still pedal. Eventually, I reach my destination. Resting my bike against a bush, I knock on the door. After a minute, it opens.

"Cat?" A confused Tori says.

"Hi Tori!" I say with gusto, but my smile is weak. She notices my slightly heavy breathing and my less than perfect hair.

"Did you walk here?" She asks.

"Road my bike." I explain. My face falls a bit. "I need to ask a favour."

"Yeah, of course." Tori gives me a smile. "Come on in." I walk into her house. By now she's noticed my duffle bag.

"I hate to do this to you…" I mumble.

"Do you want to stay over?" Tori asks. "That's no problem at all."

"No, but it is. My parents can't stand sleeping in the same house as me anymore. I'm driving my dad crazy. My mom's not too happy, either. They're both unhappy." I turn my eyes to the ground, tears filling them once again. "I just want to give them a break."

Tori steps closer to me. "You're definitely not a burden. I will absolutely take you in for the night. Or for however long you want to stay." She says seriously. I look at her with a teary smile.

"Thanks, Tori." I sigh.

"Still getting night terrors, huh?" Tori asks. I nod, shyly.

"Night terrors?" I hear a voice. It belongs to Trina. I didn't even notice her sitting on the couch. "Do you mean like screaming in the middle of the night stuff?" She asks. I bite my lip.

"Yeah."

"Scale from one to ten, how loud is it?" Trina inquires, standing up and approaching me.

"Trina!" Tori snaps.

"What? I need to know if my beauty sleep will get affected." Trina argues.

"You don't have to stay here if you don't want to, you know." Tori grumbles. Trina gets a very sly look on her face.

"Ahh, I see. You want to spend the night _alone_." Trina chuckles. A blushing Tori shoots Trina a glare that I don't understand. "Fine. I'm sure I can spend the night at one of my friends' houses." Trina shrugs.

"What friends?" Tori scoffs.

"Don't be mean." Trina says, flicking Tori on the forehead as she walks by.

"Don't thump me!" Tori whines, rubbing her forehead. Trina cackles as she heads up the stairs. I turn to Tori.

"Alone?" I ask innocently.

"Yeah. My parents are gone for a two nights on a couples retreat. It was my dad's idea." Tori explains.

"Aww, that's sweet." I grin.

"Well, I hope it helps…" Tori sighs. I tilt my head in concern and confusion.

"Helps wha-"

"Don't worry though, my dad said he's still going to keep a close eye on your case." Tori assures me.

"Oh. That's good. Any developments?" I ask.

"He's not allowed to tell me. You'd be the first to know." Tori says.

"Okay." I nod.

"So, what do you want to do?" Tori asks.

"I'm open to anything." I tell her.

"Great, so my original plan of ordering in and watching re-runs of _Friends_ is still on." Tori chuckles.

"That sounds good to me." I giggle.

"I'm feeling Chinese." Tori states, grabbing the phone.

"But Tori, you're not Chinese. You're half-Latina." I laugh.

"No, I mean I want Chinese food." She smiles.

"Right. That." I giggle. Tori shakes her head incredulously and is about to dial when it starts to ring. "Maybe the Chinese food place was feeling Tori." I joke. Tori laughs, answering the phone.

"Hello? … Sorry, who is this? … Oh, hi Mrs. Valentine." I freeze. "Don't worry, she's here… Yup, safe and sound… um, one sec." Tori holds the phone against her shoulder. "She wants to talk to you." Tori whispers. Hesitantly, I hold out my hand, and Tori gives me the phone.

"Hi, mom." I say into the receiver.

"**Oh, Cat, thank god. I called you like ten times but you never answered.**" My mom gasps. I pull out my phone and check. Not exactly ten, but there's eight missed calls, and my phones on silent. Oops. "**Why did you run off like that?**" My mom asks.

"I felt bad. So I left." I explain.

"**Well, your father feels really, really bad now. He wants you to know he takes back everything he said, and he's sorry.**" My mom depicts. I hear my dad say "Cat, I'm so sorry" in the background, confirming what my mom was saying.

"Okay. I forgive him." I say.

"**Great, so, you can come home now. I'll make us a big dinner.**" My mom offers.

"No, I'm going to stay at Tori's tonight, if that's okay with you." I request.

"**Cat… you don't have to. You can sleep here. We'll be patient with you, we promise.**" My mom sighs. I hear another "Tell her I'm really, really sorry!" in the background. "**SHH, she knows.**" My mom says off to the side.

"Yeah, but you guys deserve a break. You do enough for me." I state.

"**But honey, you're not Tori's burden to bear.**" My mom explains.

"Tori says I'm not a burden." I argue. There's silence over the phone for moment.

"…**Well, alright. Call us when you need a ride home.**" My mom says.

"Okay, love you." I express.

"**Love you too.**" I hear an "I love her the mostest!" in the background as the phone clicks off. Tori gives me a soft look of understanding. I hold out the phone to her.

"So, Chinese?" I ask. Tori laughs and takes the phone.

"Chinese."

* * *

We just finished watching my favourite episode, The One Where Everybody Finds Out. I just love how they know each other know, but act like they don't know so the other will tell them they know they know they know. What? Anyway, I was giggling the entire time. Trina left a while ago and there's a bunch of empty take-out containers on the table in front of us. It's still pretty early, but my eyes are starting to get heavy. I let out a small yawn.

"Getting tired?" Tori asks.

"Yeah." I admit, blushing.

"You must be tired a lot lately." Tori sighs.

"All the time." I groan. I miss getting a full night's sleep.

"Might as well get ready for bed now then." Tori stands up, stretching. My eyes go wide.

"W-we can put it off." I stammer. Tori looks at me.

"Don't be scared. Remember what you told me? They're just dreams. They can't hurt you." Tori repeats.

"Yeah, but I might hurt you. I don't think you realize how bad it gets." I mutter.

"I'm prepared. I'll try my best to get you some precious hours of sleep. C'mon." Tori promises, beckoning me upstairs. We brush our teeth and get our PJ's on. I laugh when I realize we're wearing the same ones we wore in one of our Funny Nugget Show videos. I miss making those. After I'm all ready, I leap into Tori's bed, sitting up and hugging Mr. Purple. I'm glad I remembered to bring him. I look at Tori's face, which is filled with a mix if confusion and nervousness as she stands at the foot of the bed. I realize what I'm doing.

"Oh." I state, sliding off the bed. "It's probably better if I sleep on the couch downstairs." I say. Tori blinks and seems to shake something off her mind.

"Cat, don't be silly. You can spend the night in my bed with me. It's way more comfortable than the couch." Tori offers with a polite smile. I'm still unsure though.

"But… I scream. Loud. And I sweat." I explain.

"I live with Trina. I can handle screaming. And I have towels." Tori shrugs.

"I flail. I might hit you." I argue.

"I can take a hit." Tori claims.

"If we touch in our sleep, I might freak out more."

"I'm a very still sleeper."

"But… Tori…" I sigh, out of excuses. She sits down on the bed.

"I told you I was going to be here for you, no matter what. So, when you have a bad dream tonight, you're going to wake up and I'll be right there. Okay?" Tori tells me. She pats the bed beside her. I give up, and crawl onto the bed with her.

"Thanks, Tori. I can't even express how grateful I am for you." I murmur.

"Make me cupcakes again sometime." Tori chuckles, laying her head down on the pillow.

"Deal." I smile.

"Light on or light off?" Tori asks.

"Light off is fine." I say, laying down beside her. She reaches over to her lamp and turns off the light.

"Goodnight, Cat."

"Night, Tor."

* * *

I don't know how long it's been, but it happens. It hits me like a train. I can't remember this one at all, but it was bad. I'm sitting up, screaming and crying, unable to make sense of anything through my terror. I can't stand it. I have to block it out. Tori, Tori, Tori Tori Tori Derek Derek Derek Derek DEREK!

"Cat." The voice splits through my irrational stupor like a ray of sunshine through the top of the ocean. Her voice.

"T-Tori." I sputter out.

"It's okay, he can't hurt you here. I won't let him." Tori's voice declares. And I believe it. My vision starts to come back, but tears are still streaming down my face. My breathing slowly regulates.

"I t-told you it was bad." I breathe.

"It's fine, hun. You're fine." Tori sighs. "Do you want anything? I can get you some water."

I shake my head. "Stay with me." I croak weakly.

"Okay."

After a few minutes, I look over to Tori. She's sitting up beside me. There's no annoyance in her face. Only affection.

"How are you feeling now?" She asks.

"Better." I mumble.

"Take all the time that you need. I'll stay up with you." Tori assures me.

"Thank you." After a few more minutes, I lay back down and Tori does so with me. I turn on my side, facing her. "You've always rescued me from him." I tell her. It's sort of a realization for me, too.

"No one hurts my Cat on my watch." Tori states. Her Cat. I like that.

"I'd like to try and sleep again." I say.

"You sure?" Tori asks.

"Mhm." I coo. I place my hand palm up between our heads on the pillow, inviting her in. She looks at it for a moment, and then looks at me. She understands, and slides her hand up to connect with mine. This is fine. Holding Tori's hand has never bothered me. It's safe. It's support. I drift off to sleep.

Derek doesn't bother me.

* * *

I drift back into consciousness later on, in what I can assume is the early morning by the blueish light filtering the room. Tori was right, she is a still sleeper. She hasn't moved. But I have. I've cuddled right up against her at some point, firmly pressed into her torso and my arm slung over her waist. She's still, though, careful not to invade my personal space more than she has to, except for my head resting on her arm. Despite this, I feel the panic start to creep in. I turn my head up, because I need to check.

Her eyes are open, and she's looking at me with a soft look in her eyes that I don't recognize. How long has she been watching over me? She notices the panic and confusion in my eyes, and offers me a small smile. Contended that I have a guardian angel, and too at ease to care about my anxiety, I snuggle my head back into her shoulder, falling back asleep.

The next time awake, there's a much warmer form of sunlight in the room, so I know it must be much later in the day. I feel so well rested, but something's not right. Tori isn't here. I sit up in the bed quickly.

"Tori?! TORI!" I shout. I hear something like a pot slam downstairs, and then the quickened pace of footsteps approaching. Tori's at the doorway within seconds of when I shouted.

"Cat? Are you okay? Did you have another bad dream?" She asks, worried. I give a sigh of relief.

"No. I just woke up and you were gone. I was worried you left me." I whimper. Tori frowns and comes in the room, sitting on the bed beside me.

"Sorry, Cat. I didn't want to wake you. I was making lunch. I shouldn't have left you." She apologizes.

"No, I thought you left me but you didn't. You came back." I state. She smiles at me.

"Of course I did." She says, patting my hand. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. For the first time in a long while. It's all thanks to you." I tell her. I could cry. Happy tears, though.

"I'm sure it wasn't me. You've just gotten stronger with time and haven't noticed." Tori explains. I shake my head. She has no idea just how much she was involved in quelling my nightmares.

"What's for lunch?" I ask, dropping it.

"Hungry?" Tori chuckles.

"Starving." I grin.

"Well, I hope you like it, then." Tori says, leading me out of her room. As I'm leaving, something catches my eye. There's a collage of pictures on the wall, and in the middle is a picture of me and Tori, our arms wrapped around each other in a fierce hug, cheeks pressed together and smiling into the camera.

"Hey, Tori?" I ask. She turns around to face me.

"Yeah?"

I pluck the picture off the wall and turn it to her. "Do you mind if I borrow this for a while?" I request. Tori breaks into a huge grin.

"Sure you can. That's one of my favourite pictures." Tori notes. I look back down at it, at our happy and beaming faces.

Mine too.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Ahhh, maybe it's a little cliche to have a chapter where Tori comforts Cat from a nightmare, but it's a good cliche. It's a good step for Cat, too. Besides, TRINA KNOWS SOMETHING! Maybe. And I want Chinese food so hard right now...**

**Do you guys read these notes? Like seriously. I just ramble on here in like three lines of text of pointlessness. Usually, this is the point where I politely ask for reviews. So here it goes. Pwetty Pwease? I give every single reviewer a giant hug in my mind. I've been told I give great hugs. And I don't know, I care what you guys think. I'm half writing this for me, half writing this for you. ... I'm so excited for you to read the end of the next chapter.**

**Fun Fact: Do you guys like the fun facts, or are they stupid? They're stupid. Whatever. The events in this chapter were originally coupled with the events in the next chapter into some huge mega chapter. But it was too big for my liking, so I split it into two. My chapters are already unnaturally long and I realize you guys have lives to get to! **


	13. Up Against A Wall

**Disclaimer: I am not responsible for Victorious or the actions of the characters in this chapter. Oh wait, I AM. But I don't own Victori... Seriously, Windows Update? You want to restart my computer NOW? Welp, better edit fast...**

* * *

I had walked into the doors at Hollywood Arts with a big, genuine smile plastered on my face. I had done that a week before to see Lane, but this time I wasn't entering the school to talk about bad things. Now I was entering to learn more about my passion in life. Intensely.

"Welcome to the Directing Intensive." A serious looking woman addressed the class with an accent that alludes to her origins being somewhere in the UK. I've always wanted to go there. "They say the amount of stress that a director feels on opening night of their show is equivalent to that of getting into a car accident. I'm here to give you a taste of that kind of stress." She leers at us. The class gives a collective shudder. "If you feel you can't handle it, I suggest you leave the blackbox now." She says, staring right at Robbie. He gives a nervous squeak, but instead a boy I don't recognize jumps up and runs from the classroom. The teacher gives a smirk.

"I like her." Jade comments quietly beside me, her smirk matching the teacher's. Geez.

"Now then, the first week of this intensive will be lecture-based only. Directing is more than sitting in a shabby chair yelling commands through a megaphone. We have a lot of material to cover and I sincerely hope you all pay attention." The teacher warns. I gulp. Pay attention? Uh oh.

She wasn't kidding, though. In the first few hours we covered a lot, mainly the placement of who what and where on the stage, how specifics can draw the eyes of the audience, or draw them somewhere else. Stuff I had never thought about while watching plays before. And I paid attention. She was stern, but she cared about what she was saying. Plus, she didn't mind throwing in some dry humour. Not that I understood it.

After the lecture, Tori comes up to me in the hallway. "Hey, Cat."

"Hi Tori." I smile. It's getting harder not to hug her. I don't know how I'll be. I think I'm better, though, after that sleepover. My night terrors are getting easier, too.

"My dad just texted me. Told me to tell you to call him right away. You can call the house." Tori informs. I nod, pulling out my phone.

"Think it's about…?" I start to ask. She shrugs. I dial in the Vega's number and the phone is picked up almost immediately.

"**Hello?**" Tori's dad's voice asks.

"Hi Mr. Cat. It's Vega. I mean…" I stumble. Tori stares at me. I'm more nervous about hearing news than I thought. "Hi Mr. Vega, it's Cat." I breathe. I think he's chuckling a bit.

"**Good, Tori passed on the message. I asked to deliver this message myself. There has been an official court order made for your case.**" Mr. Vega tells me.

"A court order?" My voice is dripping with worry. Tori's eyes go wide.

"**Yes. Unfortunately, Derek**" I wince at the name, "**is still denying everything and refuses to give information. Therefore, we will need to bring this case to court in order to determine his guilt.** **You'll have to be there to testify.**" He explains. My breath hitches. That means being in the same room as him. It's literally my worst nightmare. Tori's look of concern deepens. "**I've already informed your parents. They're probably contacting a lawyer as we speak.**"

"A lawyer? What, to defend me?" I ask.

"**Well, Derek**" Wince. "**has also accused you of slander, emotional distress and making false accusations. Don't worry, though. He has no idea how much evidence is stacked against him.**" He assures me.

"Okay." I gulp.

"**It's at the end of the month.**" Mr. Vega says.

"That's… far." I comment. I just want this all over with.

"**To be honest, this usually takes months. It's surprising to have it happen so soon.**" He tells me. I nod, not that he can see that. "**And Cat, there's one more thing… is Tori with you?**"

I look over at Tori's worried face. I give a small reassuring smile. "Yeah."

"**Good.**" Her dad takes a deep breath. "**Between now and the trial, Derek will be released. We can't hold him at the station.**" I nearly drop my phone. My eyes pop open wide and have a sharp intake of breath.

"What?!"

"**It's nothing to worry about. He's still on house arrest. You are in no danger. He's under constant surveillance, ankle bracelet and all**." He says, trying to calm me down. It doesn't really work. It's a lot to take in. I can't say anything.

"**Cat? … I'll let you go, now. I just needed to brief you.**" Mr. Vega says in an understanding voice.

"Thank you." I mutter weakly and disconnect. I wish I could disconnect my mind. I slowly lower the phone, staring ahead.

"So…?" Tori asks uneasily.

"I'm going to trial. Have to get a lawyer. Derek is accusing me of stuff. He's also out of custody. On house arrest, but still." I reprise, my lip starting to tremble.

"Oh, Cat…" Tori sighs. She stares at me unsure for a moment, before slowly offering her open arms. I hesitate for a brief moment before throwing myself into her. I collapse into her warm embrace. I was right, this is getting easier. I tense at a small flashback. Easier, not perfect.

"I'm scared." I whimper.

"I know." Tori coos, lightly stroking my hair. We stay like that for a minute, until…

"Well isn't this cozy." Jade's voice comments from somewhere nearby. Tori and I jump back from each other in surprise.

"Hi, Jade." I greet her with a smile. Jade makes a clucking sound with her tongue.

"Whatcha up too?" She asks sheepishly.

"We were just-" Tori starts.

"Oh-ho! Wait, I don't care." Jade drawls. Tori shakes her head.

"I'm heading home now, need a ride?" Tori asks me.

"No, I'll wait for my mom. She'll… probably want to talk to me." I explain. Tori nods.

"I understand. See you tomorrow, Cat. … Bye Jade." Tori says.

"Yeah, sure." Jade glares. Tori rolls her eyes as she exits the building. I watch her longingly. "So, what was that?" Jade asks. I turn to her.

"I thought you didn't care." I accuse.

"I don't when Vega is around." Jade huffs.

"Well, it was just a hug." I state.

"Looked more intimate than a simple hug." Jade eyes me carefully.

"Well that's all it was." I say. Except, it wasn't. Not in the sense that it was romantic, but I guess hugs are a big deal to me now.

"Well fine. But you're free now. And I'm sorry for the circumstances of your break-up, but there's not much holding you back from telling Vega your feelings now." Jade argues.

"You have no idea." I sigh.

"Look, if it's because that douchebag cheated on you, you don't have to worry about that with Vega…" Jade starts.

"Jade." I stop her. "I really don't want to talk about this right now. It's the same conversation over and over. I hate sounding like a broken record. Things are different now. I can't explain why… they just are. I'm just… I gotta go." I groan. I run out of the school, leaving a dumbstruck Jade.

* * *

On Friday we were done receiving the vast amounts of directing knowledge, and we're ready to head into the assignment we'd be working painstakingly on for the next few weeks. We are given a set design with labelled numbered set pieces on the stage space. The set pieces can be whatever we want, as long as they slightly match the scale of what's on the page. We also get a list of character movements for two unnamed characters that has no specific pacing, as long as they are fully completed by the end of play and are done in a specific order. We have to write a script justifying these movements and set choices, cast the roles, figure out the production scope, _and _act in other people's plays. We had to have a rough script due for Tuesday of the next week, which is right now.

It's intimidating.

"Excuse me, Ms." Jade approaches the teacher with shocking politeness. Jade has nothing but respect for the teacher.

"Yes, Miss West?" The teacher says.

"Is there any restriction on the script? Any censorship?" Jade asks. The teacher purses her lips for a moment.

"You may write whatever you want in your play as long as it is tasteful, justified, and you feel it fuels your creative prowess as a director." The teacher answers.

"Excellent." Jade smirks.

"Okay class, you may work in any area of the school you want. I'll be wandering around if you need any guidance. Don't bother me with trivial stuff. Off you go." The teacher announces. The majority of the class leaves with the teacher, leaving me, Andre, Tori, Beck, Jade and Robbie in the blackbox.

"CAT!" Jade shouts, causing me to jump in my seat.

"Wha…?" I gasp.

"You're in my play." She declares.

"O-okay." I agree, wandering over to her.

"Beck?" Jade says.

"Yeah, babe?" He asks.

"You're in it too." Jade says with a sultry smile.

"Cool." Beck shrugs.

"Oh, big surprise that your boyfriend is in your play." Tori scoffs.

"Shut it, Vega." Jade snaps. She turns to me and Beck. "Cat, go to character number one's starting position. Beck, go to the other's." Since we all have the same movement lists, we know where to go.

"Kay, now what?" Beck asks.

"The backstory of my play is that this is set in the 1940's. Cat's husband is off at war, she hasn't heard from him for a long time, doesn't know if he's alive, and that's when Beck, the friend since childhood, comes in." Jade describes, handing both of us papers. "These are just rough lines, but I really want to sort out the blocking first. I'll tell you the stage directions, you read the lines when you get in that position. Simple, even for Cat." I make an insulted sound. "And, action!"

"Linda." Beck starts.

"Cat to position two." Jade announces.

"Charlie! It's nice to see you." I read after moving.

"Beck, position 2."

"Have you heard anything about Frank?" Beck asks.

"No, not yet." I say.

"Beck position 3."

"I think you have to face facts, Linda." Beck reads.

"Cat position 3."

"Don't." I say.

"Maybe Frank won't be coming back." Beck says.

"How dare you come into my house and say such a thing to me!" I gasp, trying to put a bit of acting into it.

"Cat, position 4."

"Okay, I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me." Beck says.

"Beck position 4."

"You must be lonely, though. In this big house, all alone." Beck says.

"I do get lonely often. It's hard, not knowing." I sigh.

"Beck position 5."

"Well, I'm here if you need the comfort." Beck says.

"Thank you, Charlie." I say.

"Beck position 6." Beck moves. He's getting closer.

"Like, right now?" Beck says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Oh, you know. Maybe we could get a drink. I'll bring you down to the pub." Beck offers.

"Cat, back away to position 5."

"Oh, Charlie, I thought we had gone over this. I'm not interested in you that way." I say. I'm tempted to look over at Robbie. This sounds a lot like what I said to him. "Besides, I'm with Frank."

"And what if you're not? What if Frank is gone?" Beck says. I guess I know why Jade picked me to play the role. Beck has to act like he has feelings for me, and Jade knows I'm the only one who without a doubt wouldn't try anything.

"Stop saying that." I snap.

"Beck position 7." Beck moves right in front of me. It's one of those moments where the character movements match up.

"I can be what you need, Linda." Beck says.

"Beck place hands on Cat's shoulders." Jade announces. I freeze as he does so. "Cat, next line."

I gulp and slowly raise the paper up, trying to keep the anxiety attack at bay. "Un-unhand me."

"Good delivery, Cat. Beck, move closer." He does so. I bite my lip, hard. I won't let this block me. I won't.

"Please, Linda. At least give me one night. Even if he does come back, he doesn't have to know." Beck says slowly. I'm sure he senses my change in demeanor.

"This… isn't right." I croak.

"Beck, touch Cat's face."

I shut my eye's tight. I'm somewhere else. I'm with Tori.

"What can you do to stop me?" Beck reads. My eye's pop open. No.

"Jade." I hear Tori's panicked voice.

"Don't test me, Vega." Jade sneers.

"But Jade…" Tori tries again, but Jade shrugs her off. My shocked eyes lock with Tori's. We both feel helpless, not knowing what to do. I just keep looking at her.

"Um… Jade?" Beck says, noticing how uncomfortable I am.

"Don't break character. Continue with the scene." Jade instructs. Beck sighs. "Cat, your line."

I take a shuttered breath, only breaking eye contact with Tori for a moment to check the line. My temperature is rising. It's getting harder to breathe. "I'll… scream." I gasp out. I think I really might.

"Not like this, you won't." Beck says.

"Beck, slam Cat against the wall." Jade says.

"Jade, stop." Tori calls out weakly. Jade ignores her.

"Yeah, Jade, something doesn't feel right." Beck says carefully.

"It's just a scene. Cat's been through way worse while acting. Do it." Jade demands. I'm barely even listening anymore. Everything's overwhelming me. Derek's here. He's here. I feel him as Beck pushes me against the wall. I let out a dull squeak.

"Now what?" Beck asks, sounding uncomfortable with the situation.

"Now push against Cat forcefully." Jade says. I feel Beck push himself against me, and that's when I lose it. Letting out a shriek, I shove him away.

"Whoa, Cat-!" Beck calls out to me, but I'm already halfway across the theatre before I collapse on the ground huddled into a ball.

"Um, what's going on?" Jade asks.

"She's seriously freaked." Andre notes with shock. That's an understatement. I'm crying and shaking and barely breathing. Robbie approaches me and reaches toward me.

"_**Don't touch her!**_" Tori's voice snaps. Robbie jumps back in surprise.

"Cat, it was just a script." Jade says.

"What's wrong, Cat?" Robbie asks my sorry form.

"Was I that bad? Ow!" I hear Beck. I'm assuming someone hit him, like Tori or Jade. "Okay, fine. Serious moment.

"Just give her some space." Tori commands.

"What would you know about it?" Jade growls. Maybe she assumes this breakdown is about Tori.

"A lot more than you." Tori huffs. "You shouldn't have made her do that."

"How was I supposed to know she'd react this way?"

"I _tried_ to warn you-"

"St-stop." I sputter. Everyone turns to me, as I slowly start to sit up.

"You okay, Lil Red?" Andre asks.

"N-no." I admit. Silence hangs in the room for a moment.

"Mind giving us an explanation?" He asks.

"Yeah, this is random and insane, even for you." Jade notes. Tori shoots her a glare before turning back to me with caring eyes.

"I wasn't… exactly… completely truthful… when telling you guys… about my break-up." I pant.

"So, spill." Jade demands. My mouth goes dry. I'm still suffering from an attack. It still feels like he's leering at me from around the corner.

"T-Tori…!" I sob out desperately, looking at her with pleading eyes.

"It's okay, Cat. I can tell them." Tori assures me. I nod weakly and cover my ears. Just like day one, I don't want to hear it being said.

When I feel it's safe, I remove my hands from my ears and allow my mind to drift back into the moment. Everyone is looking at me with shock and sorrow. Everyone, except Jade. Her face is plain, as if you just told her about the weather. This confuses me. Andre is the first to speak.

"Man, Cat, I don't even know what to say." He sighs.

"If you need us to do anything for you, you let us know." Beck says.

"Anything at all." Robbie agrees.

"Thanks, guys." I say. I look at Jade, who seems like she's just looking right through me. She says nothing. Suddenly, the door to the blackbox opens and we all turn to look.

"Honestly, people. I didn't assign this period for you to socialize. I don't care if you waste your own time, but don't waste mine." The teacher huffs. "Come, come. Off to your own private spaces to work. Go on."

Reluctantly and awkwardly, we all disperse to different areas of the room. Not that I can focus now, anyway. Tori doesn't let me leave her line of sight for the rest of the class.

* * *

My friends regarded me as a piece of fragile glass as they said goodbye. I don't feel too horrible about it. It's how I expected they'd react. At least now they'll be coping right along with me, and I know they'll have my back. I didn't see Jade, though. I think she left before class even ended. She definitely didn't have Beck and me rehearse again. I guess I can see her tomorrow, though.

It feels sort of nice, not having to go it alone and having such a large support group. Maybe I can lessen the load of Tori a bit. She won't have to be my only crutch, which despite what she says, I'm sure will give her some relief. I'll have to impose on her another time, though. Because after today, I need my main crutch. My shelter. I catch her putting away her stuff in her locker. I stride up to her and grab her arm gently. She looks at me surprised.

"Cat… how're you doing?" She asks softly.

"Come to my house." I request, although it sounds like I'm begging. God, I must seem so pathetic. Tori falters for a second before nodding.

"Okay. I'll drive us." She says, closing her locker. I call my mom and tell her she doesn't have to pick me up. We're silent on the drive there, and nobody says anything until we get into my house.

"Hi, Tori." My mom greets when we get in.

"Hello, Mrs. Valentine. You look nice today." Tori says.

"Oh, well aren't you the sweetest. Are you staying for dinner?" My mom asks. Tori looks at me for some indication, but I don't give her any sign. I don't want her to feel she has to stay if she doesn't want to.

"I don't want to put you out…" Tori answers.

"How polite. Nonsense, dear. After all you've done for my daughter? Your friendship brings a smile to her face. Dinner is the least I can do." My mom insists.

"I'm glad I can help at all. I'll let you know if I'm staying or not." Tori says, blushing.

"Okay, keep me posted. Cat, how was your day?" My mom asks me.

"Good." I say flatly. I grab Tori's arm again and lead her upstairs.

"Um… alright. Bye." My mom mutters from behind us. I bring us into my colourful bedroom and close the door. Tori looks around in wonderment.

"Wow, I've never actually been in your room before. I've only seen it on The Slap. It's a lot more… vibrant in person." Tori notes. She looks at the bed and runs a hand across it. "This is where you interviewed those old people." She laughs. I can't help but laugh with her at the memory.

"Those guys were adorable." I say, a smile returning to my lips. My mom was right. Tori can always make me smile. "No sense of humour, though."

"I know, right? Those voices you did gave me the giggle fits." Tori giggles. I giggle right along with her. We drop down a tone and I can tell she's about to be serious. "I should've stopped the scene once I knew what was going on." Tori says, deflated.

"You tried." I state.

"Not hard enough. I should've… I don't know… tackled Jade to the ground or something." Tori sighs.

"That's a good way to get a pair of scissors in your eye." I comment.

"Probably. But it may have been worth it. I didn't know what to do. Either way would've ended in an explanation, and it wasn't my place to cause you to reveal such sensitive material." Tori says.

"It's not your fault. I could've stopped it earlier. I tried to be brave. I'm not brave." I sigh.

"Yes, you are. Here you are, pulled yourself together after such a difficult day. A difficult past few weeks. I don't know how you do it." Tori scoffs.

"I have a great friend for support." I admit, edging closer.

"Yeah, great job I did today. I should've protected you." Tori groans.

"Will you stop it with that?" I huff, my eyes filling with tears. "It's my fault I put you in this position. I've made you feel like you _have _to protect me. It's not fair to you. I… love having you around for that, but you deserve more. You don't deserve this stress."

"Oh, Cat… How many times do I have to tell you? There's nothing I'd rather do than support you. I know you don't need me. Like I said, you're strong. But if you feel I help… I'm here." Tori states.

"Why? Why would you subject yourself to that? To this?" I ask, gesturing to myself. I'm genuinely curious.

"Because you're my best friend, Cat. You'd do the same for me." Tori says, moving closer to me.

"You can't enjoy it." I mumble.

"Well of course I don't enjoy your pain. But honestly, I do enjoy having the title of your protector. Your support. I like that I can help you out of your darkest moments, for whatever reason." Tori admits.

"Why?" I ask again, moving closer still.

"I… I don't know." She stammers, getting nervous.

"Well, you're right though." I say.

"About what?"

"That I'd do the same for you." I claim. She smiles, looking touched by my words.

Then it happens.

It's in slow motion for me, but it may have been in a matter of seconds. Tori, as if drawn by some sort of invisible force, leans in close. So close. I can't even react as I feel her breath against my face. It makes my eye-lids flicker. I can make out every detail of her glowing face. Those amazing cheekbones. Her gorgeous eyes, which fall shut. Instinctively, mine close as well, as her lips brush against mine. It's so soft, and gentle, and it causes this swelling in my heart that I can't even describe. And then, I'm filled with another feeling. A feeling of panic, and of him. Him, not Tori.

SMACK.

I open my eyes in time to see Tori's head whip to the side at the brunt of my force. The palm of my right hand stings, and I quickly clap my hands over my mouth realizing what I had just done.

"Oh my god, Tori…" I gasp. She turns her head to look at me. Her eyes, full of shock and glistening with tears. Her cheek is red. I did that.

"I… am so sorry." She breathes. "I don't know what I was… I've got to go. Cat, I'm sorry, I just… Bye."

"T-Tori!" I call after her, but she's already sprinted out of my room. I can't follow her. I'm rooted right into the ground. I flex my still stinging hand, and lightly touch my lips

I have a lot to think about.

* * *

**Author's Notes: What did I just do? WHAT DID I JUST DO?! Yeah I left you hanging. Sorry. (But I'm not really sorry [Okay I'm kind of sorry {But also mostly not}]) This actually had to happen at this point. It just felt so fluid. Writing the scene leading up to the kiss, I was starting to hate writing them dodging around their feelings. So, in the same way I broke as a writer, Tori also broke. I think that's pretty natural! Maybe.**

**I know you all probably hate me... It's a good thing I update so fast, right? You get the events following Tori's actions on Monday! That's exciting, right? Hate me a little less? Or maybe I'll never release the chapter. I don't know. Reviews would help make up my mind. Maybe I'd even release it sooner if I'm in a good mood. Reviews do that. But I've been slacking with writing lately and I don't want to fall behind, so maybe not...**

**Fun Fact: I'm sorry if the description of the Directing Intensive was confusing. It was confusing for me when I first heard it, too. That's right, I had to do the above things. Except, it was an assignment for an entire directing course, so we only had like two weeks instead of a month. I died. I'm dead now. A video of the play I put on is actually somewhere on youtube, which I will NEVER TELL ANY OF YOU HOW TO FIND EVER. Like, don't even ask.**


	14. Cat Got Your Tongue

**Author's Note: Know what I realized? When I said Monday, I didn't think about the people who read this who live across the world. It was already Monday for them. I'm sorry, people who read this who live across the world!**

**Disclaimer: IIIIIIIIIIII have nothing clever to say here involving the not owning of Victorious. I just don't own it. What a pointless disclaimer... there's not even a good joke... **

* * *

Tori kissed me. Tori kissed me, and then I hit her. I hit Tori. I hit her because she kissed me. Tori's lips plus my lips equal my hand slamming into her face. No matter how I think about it, I can't process what just happened. I should run after her. Run after her car. But the problem is, I don't know if I want to.

My mom pokes her head around the side of my bedroom door. "So Tori's not staying for dinner? She left in a hurry." She says. Acting face.

"She couldn't stay." I explain with a small smile.

"Oh, what a shame. Oh well, less cooking for me." My mom sighs.

"Mom? Could you close the door? I'm going to take a nap." I request.

"Long day?" My mom asks sympathetically.

"Very."

"Alright, I'll wake you up when dinner is ready." She nods.

"Thanks, mom." I say with a smile. She closes the door and I immediately collapse back onto my bed, looking at my ceiling. I listen intently, and once I hear my mom get all the way down the stairs, I burst into tears.

This feels familiar. I thought I promised myself I wouldn't do this anymore. Cry over Tori. I haven't done this in a long time. That seems so simple, now. This isn't simple though. It should be, but it's not. If that kiss had happened months ago, I would've been ecstatic. I would've returned the kiss. And then, who knows what would've happened from there? Maybe we'd still be kissing. Maybe we'd be spilling our feelings for each other. It had been all I ever wanted, for a long time.

I don't know if I still want it.

I mean, if I'm honest with myself, I do. I really do. But it's complicated. I'm still recovering from a "used and abused" relationship. I don't want to jump into another one. My whole idea of relationships has changed now. Before they seemed fun, and intimate and adventurous. Now they're scary, and unknown. I trust Tori, but I can't get over the feeling that even she might betray me if we ever dated. That she'll just hurt me, or use me.

_"You don't have to worry about that with Vega…_" I hear Jade's voice echo in my mind. She's right. Maybe she didn't mean it in the same context, but it was still along the lines that Tori would never purposely hurt me. And I know that, deep down. But I'm still scared. Terrified, really. But I know I can't live in fear all my life. And Tori is worth the risk, isn't she? Of course she is. But there's another problem.

I have issues, now. I still wake up crying. I have panic attacks at the simplest of touches. I apparently hit people when they kiss me. Even people I really, really like. That doesn't exactly make me "relationship" material. Like I said earlier, Tori deserves better. She doesn't need baggage like this.

On that note, since when does Tori kiss me? Since when does she feel that way about me? Does she even feel that way about me? That's usually what kissing means. Maybe it was just a knee-jerk reaction. Even though nobody's knee moved. Oh, shut up Cat. Now is not the time for random musings. So, maybe she does like me like that. Maybe she wants to kiss me. I know I want to kiss her, if I can.

If I can!? That's insane! She kisses me and I _slap her_. If she liked me before, she probably hates me now. Generally, slapping is a huge turn off. Trust me, I know. Hey, I'm into you. I'm into you too. Let's kiss. SLAP. Like, who does that?! And this isn't the first time I've hit her. Oh my god, _I'm_ the abusive one.

Ugh, my brain hurts.

I just need to talk to Tori tomorrow. We'll talk, and we'll sort this out. We're still best friends. We've been through way too much now to call it quits. Everything will be better after we talk. I hope.

After making a decision, I finally start to fall asleep.

"Cat! Dinner's ready!"

Oh, come on.

* * *

"Jade!" I call out, running up to her in the hallway the next morning. She turns to me, her face blank.

"Yeah, what?" She says plainly.

"Have you seen Tori?" I ask.

"When have I _ever _cared where Vega is?" Jade snaps.

"Um…" I retreat a bit. Jade is being a bit snippy today. Maybe she hasn't had her second coffee.

"Exactly." She huffs, turning away to her locker.

"But Jade, I want to talk to you about Tori. She-" I start. Maybe Jade can help plan what to say.

"Later, okay?" Jade drawls, slamming her locker and walking off to the blackbox.

"Okay…" I frown, standing there confused at Jade's behaviour. I see Andre enter the school out of the corner of my eye. "Hi Andre!" I call out. He turns to me and gives a smile.

"Hey, Lil Red." He greets. His eyes drop a bit. "Feeling better today?"

"A bit, thanks. Do you know where Tori is?" I ask. He gets an uneasy look.

"I don't think she's here yet. You know we can come in here at our own leisure to work on our plays. She might not come in at all today." Andre explains. My face falls at that. What if I don't see her for a long time because of what happened? I don't think I could handle it. "Why? Do you need to talk to her?"

"I really do." I answer.

"Well good. Last time I talked to her she seemed, um, pretty upset." He says, seeming like he's hiding something. Did Tori tell him? "Hopefully you can make her feel better."

"I hope I can too." I sigh. He smiles at me and goes to clap me on the shoulder, but stops before he can and pulls back awkwardly.

"Uh…" He hesitates.

"I can do light high-fives." I proclaim with a smile.

"Alright!" Andre exclaims, holding up his hand. I give it a tap with my palm. "See you in the theatre."

"Later, Andre!" I call after him as he heads off. Feeling a bit disheartened about Tori, I slowly turn to go to my locker. And there she is, standing on the steps and staring at me.

"Cat…" Tori breathes.

"Tori!" I cry, running up to her. "I thought maybe you weren't coming today." I pout.

"I thought about it." She admits, frowning. We shuffle awkwardly for moment.

"Can we talk?" I ask softly.

"I… I don't know, Cat… I'm surprised you want to…"

"Please. Please, we need to." I beg, giving her puppy dog eyes. She sighs.

"Alright… Where?" She asks.

"Where else?" I say with a small smile.

"Janitor's closet?"

"Janitor's closet." I confirm. Her mouth almost turns up into a smile.

"Lead the way." Tori says. We head towards the closet and close the door behind us. I turn and face her. She's hugging herself as if she's cold.

"Cat-" "Tori-" We both start at the same time. We smile awkwardly at each other.

"You go first." Tori offers. I nod, giving a deep breath.

"I'm sorry I hit you." I say sincerely. Her eyes widen.

"_You're _sorry? I deserved it. After all you've been through, it was so wrong of me to… do that." She exasperates.

"You didn't deserve to be slapped. Yeah, it was… shocking, but I wish I had more control of my thoughts. And limbs." I argue. "Why did you kiss me?"

She gives me a look as if hearing me ask the question made the moment that much more real. "I… I don't… I can't…" Tori stammers.

"You can tell me, Tori. Be honest." I urge gently. Now's the moment of truth. She lets out a sigh.

"Because I like you, Cat." She admits. I need to be sure.

"Like… that?"

"Yeah… like that." She mumbles. My heart sores.

"But, I thought you liked just guys." I interrogate.

"Me too." Tori sighs.

"Since when do you like me… like that, then?" I question.

"You mean, you don't mind that I feel that way?" Tori asks. I shake my head with a smile.

"Of course not. I mean, I know it seemed like it with the whole... slapping thing... but I'm just curious." I state.

"Well," She breathes. "It's hard to pinpoint. If I'm being detailed, I think the first sign was when you were with Danny. I wasn't lying when I said I was over him. But I still acted like a complete gank because I was jealous for… whatever reason. Now, I think I know. I mean, I knew you deserved way better than him. But I just brushed it off at the time." Tori explains.

"That explains the hot cheese in my hair, I guess." I nod.

"Yeah, and I continued to feel jealous whenever you were with a guy. I didn't understand it, so I ignored it, figuring I was just being protective of you." Tori continued. Then she lets out a deep breath. "Then the sonnets happened… it was a surreal moment. Jade was right, I can't act **that** well. I was only able to pull that performance out my ass because…" She trails off.

"Because…?" I goad, wanting to hear more.

"Because saying that sonnet to you was the moment I realized how important you are to me. How I never want to lose you." Tori admits, blushing. I blush too. "After that, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I wanted to be closer to you. I… freaked the freak out. I confronted Andre in hysterics, hoping he'd make it all make sense, or something. I was a wreck."

"So Andre **did** know." I mutter.

"What?"

"Nothing. Go on." I urge.

"Okay… well. Andre did help, in a way. He was very understanding. Helped me cope with my newfound feelings and told me they were okay. He also told me to tell you." Tori says. Sounds like Jade. "But you were already dating…"

"Oh." I breathe.

"Yeah. And I was still unsure about everything. All I knew was I couldn't get you off my mind. It wasn't until the dance… when I saw you dancing with him. It was like my insides were being ripped apart." Tori recalls with disdain.

"The night you went home sick…" I remember.

"Well, I did feel 'sick' in a sense. Looking back on it, it was a ridiculous response. But I realized I couldn't bear not being with you." Tori admits. Her mouth forms an "O" of surprise, like she just revealed too much. "S-Sorry."

"Oh, Tori…" I sigh. This is all I've ever wanted to hear.

"A-anyway… my feelings only deepened from there, leading up to me… inappropriately kissing you yesterday. Which I'm still so sorry for." Tori finishes.

"I'm not sorry for it…" I say slowly. "I mean I'm sorry I slapped you, but I'm not sorry you kissed me."

"You're sweet. But it won't happen again, I promise." Tori states. I blink at her.

"But-"

"I mean, you've got enough going on without your best friend crushing on you-" Tori rambles.

"-I **want **to try it again."

"And I still want to be that best friend for you. I'm here for you in any way you – _what?_" Tori gasps. I take a step closer.

"I want to try and kiss again." I repeat. She's staring at me in shock.

"R-really? Are you sure?" She questions.

"I'm so sure." I nod.

"Wait… does that mean…?" Tori trails off, astounded.

"Yeah, I like you too. I like you… _like that_." I smile. She stands there for a moment, processing. Then she breaks into a wide grin.

"Oh my god." Tori expresses, still grinning. Then her face falls into shock. "Oh my god. What does this mean?"

"I don't know. I don't know, and it's scary." I admit, stepping closer. "But, let's start by retrying yesterday." I state. "If I can do that… then we can talk about… the future." We're standing very close. Tori notices, looking into my face, tongue darting out to nervously lick her upper lip.

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" She asks worriedly. I close my eyes.

"I don't know. But I need to try." I declare, opening my eyes and looking into Tori's. I know she wants to. "Tori, please."

"O-okay." Tori nods. There's a fresh blush on her face, and there's probably one on mine. My eyes start darting around the room.

"Is there tape in here for my arms?" I ask.

"That… won't be necessary." Tori chuckles. "Just tell me if I need to duck."

"Okay." I giggle, pushing up closer to her. I'm nervous. She's nervous.

"You lead this time." Tori tells me. I nod quickly.

"I'll need you to respond eventually." I breathe, leaning in.

"No… problem." Tori mumbles just before my lips tentatively touch hers. Our eyes flutter shut. It's a very soft kiss, even softer than the one she gave me the day before. Everything about this is soft. Her lips are soft. Her skin is soft. She's just so _soft_. And she smells so sweet, like all my favourite candy rolled into one. It's just so… Tori.

I reach up slowly with my arms, my obedient **not-slapping** arms, and place my hands gently on her waist. Tori continues to respectfully stand perfectly still, but she's relaxed. Once I'm comfortable, I take a chance to deepen the kiss, ever so slightly. I feel Tori's body respond a bit, and I immediately start to feel the anxiety pushing back on my fluffy, lightheaded feeling. Trying to ignore it and remember it's Tori, I move my lips against hers in a slow fashion. Her lips slightly move with mine, and I feel her nip gently at my bottom lip. Derek looming over me immediately flashes in my mind. I gasp and yank my head back from her, eyes still shut tight.

"Cat, are you okay?" Tori's voice asks inches from my face, slightly breathless. "Should we stop?"

"Just give me a minute." I instruct.

"Okay." Tori breathes. We don't move. Eventually, I open my eyes and look into hers. They're full of understanding, and patience and affection. I slide my hands up from her waist to cup her face in my palms, and lean back in.

I don't start off as soft this time, but still not too forceful. I turn my head to capture her lips at a different angle. Derek continues to try to shove his way into our moment, but with each breath and smack of our lips together, I push him back. I push myself slightly into Tori's body, causing her to catch me by putting her hands at the top of my hips. I let out a nervous gasp at the feeling, breaking the kiss, only to place a light peck on her cheek before pulling away.

"Okay, that's enough." I pant.

"You did… very well." Tori states, also out of breath.

"Ye..yeah." I agree. I did do well. I wish I could do more, but… baby steps. My hands slide down to her shoulders as we regain our senses.

"Now what?" Tori asks, her hand carefully brushing back a strand of my hair. It's a welcome gesture, although I slightly twitch at it.

"I don't know… if I'm ready yet. For a relationship. But I think it'd be cruel if we didn't at least… try this out." I reason.

"Agreed. I'm still not sure what all this means. My feelings, I mean. But I also feel we owe it to ourselves." Tori agrees.

"Mhm." I sigh.

"Hey, Cat?" Tori asks.

"Yeah, Tori?" I smile.

"I'd like to ask you out on a date." Tori announces. My smile widens.

"Ask away." I encourage. Tori clears her throat all official-like. Adorable.

"Cat Valentine, will you go out with me this Friday?" Tori asks. I let out a small giggle.

"Yes. A million times yes." I grin.

"Oh thank god." Tori exhales. As if I would've said no. Again, adorable. "Come on, let's get to class. That teacher is scary when she finds out your slacking."

I nod, reluctantly stepping away from her. "Are we going to tell the others?" I ask. Tori thinks for a moment.

"Not yet. Not until after our date. I don't want them to get psyched in case it doesn't work out." Tori sighs. "If that's okay with you."

I give a sly grin. "I'm okay with it. It'll be like our little secret." This seems to visibly cause a shiver in Tori.

"Yeah." She sighs with a smile. I grab her hand.

"And Tori… for the record… I hope it does work out." I say, biting my lip. She gives me a soft smile, squeezing my hand.

"Me too, Cat."

* * *

I'm incredibly giddy as my mom drops me off at the mall. Giddy, and also insanely nervous. Like, the kind of nervous where my palms are sweaty, my head feels all warm and my stomach is doing gymnastics. But in a good way. Tori and I decided to just meet at the mall, since we couldn't decide who should pick up who for the first date. I make my way to the Frozen Yogurt stand where we decided to meet. There she is. She's sitting at a table, and her back is to me. I feel a bit… mischievous.

I clear my throat a bit to help drop my registry, and then I approach her and place my hands over her eyes. "Guess who, Vega." I impersonate Jade almost perfectly. Yeah, she's not the only one who can do impressions. Tori jumps up immediately.

"J-Jade!" She yelps, turning to look at me. I have the goofiest smile on my face.

"Hi, Tori!" I giggle. Tori lets out a breath, placing a hand on her chest.

"Cat, you scared me! You do that way too well." Tori groans, but she's smiling. I giggle again and give her a swift kiss on her cheek. Now, we're both blushing. My brow furrows slightly.

"Speaking of Jade, she's been avoiding me the past few days. Like, more than usual." I ponder.

"Huh, really?" Tori asks, furrowing her own brow.

"Yeah, ever since Monday." I mumble. Tori nods in understanding.

"I guess it's her own Jade-way of dealing with the news. Want me to talk to her?" Tori offers, although I can tell she doesn't like the idea.

"No, you don't have to. I'll just let her cool off, or something." I decide.

"Okay." Tori gives me a small smile. Her eye's finally leave mine, noticing what I'm wearing. "You're wearing a skirt." She observes. Normally, it wouldn't be anything worth noting, but it's been the first time since the incident that I've worn one. I think Tori knows that.

"Yeah… I wanted to look nice for you." I blush.

"That's sweet, Cat. And I know that's a huge step for you." Tori gives a warm smile. "You do look really pretty."

"Thanks, Tori. You look breathtaking." I blush even deeper. She does, though. And it's the first time I've gotten to tell her that without worrying about her figuring out the subtext. Now, I want her to know exactly what I mean. Tori's eyes find the ground.

"Aww, Cat…" She mumbles, embarrassed. I giggle at her reaction. Really, and people think I'm the cute one. She looks up at me with a smile. "So, fro-yo?"

"Yes!" I leap up excitedly. She laughs and leads me over to the counter. She offers to buy mine, but I offer to buy hers. So, we end up buying each other's. I feel bad because I put on way too many toppings, so mine was more expensive. "Sorry Tori." I pout, sitting down at the table with her and our yogurts. I feel so bad I can't even enjoy how sorry and Tori rhymed.

"Don't worry about it. I would've bought all of the toppings for you if you wanted them." Tori laughs. She bites her lip. "Was that too cheesy?"

"No. It's creamy." I state, poking the yogurt with my spoon. Tori lets out a laugh and shakes her head. She reaches out her hand across the table, and I oblige and lace my fingers with hers. It's nice. I wonder why holding Tori's hand never makes me freak out. "Your hand's shaking." I note.

"Well… you make me nervous." Tori admits, taking a spoonful of her yogurt. My face fills with worry as I stop my assault on my yogurt.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I mean… you make me excited and happy but I don't want to mess things up." Tori explains, blushing.

"Oh. Then you make me nervous too. But in a good way." I smile.

"Good." Tori sighs, eating more of her yogurt. I give her hand a little squeeze. "How am I doing so far?" She asks.

"You haven't messed up." I chuckle.

"Yet." Tori smiles. "Sorry I'm so nervous. This is new territory for us. It'll take some getting used to."

"I think that means this is a proper first date." I giggle.

"Yeah, I guess so." She grins. As we continue talking, some people at the tables near-by and even some people walking by notice our joined hands and our nervous flirtatious attitudes. They start staring and I ignore them, but I can tell Tori is getting uncomfortable. I lean forward a bit.

"Don't mind them. They're just curious." I whisper. She gives me an uneasy smile.

"I know. I'm just worried… this is my first time dating a girl, and you hear those horror stories in the news of society rejecting openly gay people…" Tori explains with a frown. I give her hand another squeeze.

"They can't do anything to us, Tori. We've got each other." I encourage. Yeah, I was told by my parents that what I'm doing is wrong. But that's the only opinion I cared about. My parent's and Tori's. But now that Tori is on my side about this, I can deal with passing bystanders. I don't know what I'll do about my parents, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I'm way too happy knowing that Tori would even consider dating me.

"Yeah…" Tori sighs. I lean back a bit in my chair.

"You're not ashamed of us, are you, Tori?" I pout. Her eyes widen in shock.

"No! Cat, of course not." She assures me. "It's just a lot to take in."

"Things are going to change… and it's scary but… hopefully for the better?" I ask innocently. Now, she squeezes my hand.

"I'm sure they will be." She smiles. I smile back and notice that we're both done our frozen yogurts. I pull her out of her seat.

"Let's go wander!" I exclaim excitedly.

"Okay!" She chuckles, giving me just as much enthusiasm. We walk around the mall, our hands intertwined. She seems a little less self-conscious about the stares and hushed whispers.

As we walk, we see a familiar sight heading our way in the opposite direction. That balding head and poncho would be recognizable anywhere. "Sikowitz!" I call out. He notices us with a smile. I look down at his feet. No shoes. In a mall. Gross.

"Ah, Cat. Tori. Fancy meeting you here." He greets us.

"I wouldn't expect to see you here." Tori notes.

"Are you insinuating that I do not shop here for the latest fashion trends?" Sikowitz scoffs, flailing out his scarf. Tori and I look at each other.

"Uh…" Tori trails off. Sikowitz cackles.

"Oh, I'm just fooling. I'm here for the grocer. I hear they have a new model of coconut in." He beams.

"New model?" I mumble to Tori. She shrugs. Sikowitz glances down at our conjoined hands and gets a twinkle in his eye.

"Could it be true? Have you possibly finally found each other?" Sikowitz asks with glee. We blush at his realization.

"Don't... tell anyone." Tori requests. Sikowitz waves a hand in the air dismissively.

"Wouldn't think of it. I think it's excellent, though. I wish you two the very best." Sikowitz grins.

"Thank you!" I blush. It's a bit awkward to have our teacher find out about us, but at least he approves.

"Well, carry on with your day. Perhaps I'll see you around." He alludes, sauntering off and whistling. Tori and I continue on our way, chuckling at our chance encounter. Time to traverse the mall.

We went to Bed, Bath and Yonder, The Pear Store (I almost bought the new Pear Pad. It has a slightly better screen), and checked out the newest music to come out at the music store. I could really see Tori's love for music in that moment. She would slip on some headphones and become completely entranced in the song she was hearing, picking out the beat, the melody and the vocals. I was entranced by her.

At one moment we were walking by a clothing boutique when something caught my eye. It was the cutest dress I've seen a long time on a mannequin in the window. I drag Tori over to it, my eyes filled with wonderment.

"Tooorrriii!" I drag out her name, pointing.

"That's a cute dress." Tori chuckles. "Very you."

"You think so?" I bat my eyelashes at her.

"Totally." She smiles.

"I have to try it on." I proclaim, marching into the store. Tori laughs beautifully as I pull her to the back of the store where the dress racks are. "Here they are!" I point them out and start sifting through.

"Go try it on." Tori says, but I start to frown. "What's up?"

"They don't have my size." I mumble, stepping away from the rack.

"Oh, I hate when that happens." Tori sighs. "Are there any other dresses you want to try on?" She asks, grabbing my hand and stroking it soothingly. She saw how excited I was. It's just a dress but Tori cares that it makes me sad.

"No." I shake my head, pouting. Tori purses her lips for a moment.

"Come on." She beckons, dragging me back to the front of the store.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"You'll see." She smiles. We reach the window, which is covered by a big blank wall in the background, and a little entrance on the side. She lightly pushes me towards it. "Check the size."

"Tori!" I giggle.

"Shh! Be quick. I'll keep watch." She urges. I giggle and nod, quickly darting into the window. I fumble for the tag. "Hurry!" She chuckles in a whisper. I look at the tag and smile. She notices. "Is it…?"

"Yeah!" I grin.

"Well put it on! Come on, hurry!" She smiles, turning around to continue watching the people in the store. I unzip the back, take it off the mannequin and pull it over my clothes. It makes it bunch a bit, but it still fits well.

"How do I look?" I ask. Tori turns around and drops her jaw in awe. She tries to say something but nothing comes out. "Cat got your tongue?" I giggle. That makes her face breaks into a smile.

"You could say that. You look incredible." Tori breathes. A blush heats my cheeks. Suddenly, something catches Tori's eye on the other side of the window. A mall cop is storming towards us.

"Hey you girls! Get out of there!" He shouts. Tori and I snap our eyes together. Busted.

"Oh, chiz. Cat come on!" Tori shouts. I quickly throw the dress off and sloppily put it back on the mannequin. I reach out for her hand as we start to bolt from the store, but the mall cop blocks our path. Just when we think we're caught, Sikowitz pops out of nowhere, pointing behind the cop with a look of horror.

"Oh dear lord, that kid's going to get hurt!" He shrieks. In response, the guard turns for a split second. Sikowitz shoots us a thumbs up as we give him a grateful smile and sprint off.

"Haha! I love it!" We hear Sikowitz cackle behind us. By now, the mall cop has noticed our escape.

"Hey! Stop!" He calls after us and gives chase. We don't let go of each other's hand as we run, laughing the whole way. Adrenaline is pumping in my veins from the chase. I never thought running from the justice system would be so fun. We run a safe distance from the mall cop, pushing past people and practically sliding down the escalator. It's a good thing we're both so fit from choreography and physical theatre classes.

Eventually we run out the doors of the mall and the cop stops giving chase, standing at the doorways and pulling up his belt. Tori leads me to her car and we climb in, shutting the doors behind us. We pant and giggle, breathless from running.

"I am so… ordering that dress online." I gasp.

"Do it… You better after all that." Tori gives a breathless chuckle. We smile at each other until we catch our breath.

"So I think we're done with the mall." I state.

"I think we're done with that mall for _a while_." Tori adds. Then she checks her watch. "It's okay, I have something else planned."

"Like what?" I sit up, interested. Tori gives a smirk.

"It's a surprise." She says sheepishly.

"Tori!" I laugh before pouting.

"Nu-uh. Don't give me that look. You'll just have to wait and see." Tori scolds. I slump back in my seat and fold my arms.

"Fine." I huff in an annoyed voice as she pulls away from the mall parking lot, but I'm smiling. "Music?" I ask.

"Of course." Tori grins, turning on the radio up high. We drive for a while and I get more and more curious. Every time I asked Tori would just shake her head with a smile and zip her mouth shut. I want to know!

Finally, we pull up into an area. I look at a sign outside. "Griffith Park?" I read.

"Mhm." She smiles, reaching over to the glove compartment. She's very careful not to graze the bare skin on my leg as she pulls out some sort of brochure or map. "Let's go for a walk." Tori states, getting out of the car.

"A walk to where?" I ask bewildered, also stepping out of the car. Tori silently points to the horizon and I follow her finger. She's pointing at the Hollywood Sign. I gasp, "We're hiking to the Hollywood Sign?"

"Yeah! Is that okay?" Tori asks, suddenly uncertain. I bound around the car up to her, taking her hands in mine.

"It sounds wonderful." I reassure her. She smiles and I see this glazed look in her eyes. I haven't seen it very often on her yet when she looks at me, but I recognize it. Licking my lips and taking a moment to prepare myself, I lean forward and place a light kiss on her mouth. I pull back and search her features. Her eyes are closed and she has a look of pure contentment on her face. I did that. Her eyes slowly open but her smile stays.

"It's a long walk. We better get started." She sighs.

"Kay, kay!" I giggle. We walk along while Tori consults her map. Eventually she finds the path and, holding hands once again, we start to follow it. It's a nice path, and there's not a ton of people. Just some joggers and every so often some other couples, plus the odd tourist. "I thought there'd be more people." I point out.

"Yeah, surprisingly this trail isn't very well known." Tori explains, our arms slightly swinging in rhythm.

"Why's that?" I ask.

"Well, mostly because it's on private property." She smiles guiltily.

"Tori Vega!" I gasp. "Running from a mall cop and now trespassing? You're a bad influence!" I joke.

"Sorry!" Tori laughs.

"So how did you find out about this place?" I ask, curious. She blushes.

"Um, well… don't judge me, but I may have asked Beck." Tori admits.

"You told him about us?" I frown.

"No, no! I haven't even told Andre. And believe me, he's asked." Tori sighs. "I just… like I said I didn't want to mess today up. And I know Beck has a way with… the ladies." She waggles her eyebrows jokingly at me, causing me to blush. "So, I may have asked for some advice on romantic destinations… you know, for curiosity purposes."

"Very convincing." I agree in a mock serious voice.

"He suggested this place and… I thought it'd be perfect." Tori finishes.

"It was good advice." I smile, squeezing her hand.

"I'm glad. Now I don't have to kill him on Monday." Tori jokes. We continue walking and talking about anything and everything. Sometimes we don't talk at all. It reminds me of when we sat on the rocks at the Lakeside Park. It's just as peaceful. But, although that moment was special to me, this day is so much more special. Because now, I'm on a date with the beautiful girl I'm next to.

Eventually, the end of the trail comes into view, and I can see Los Angeles unfold before me. Eyes lighting up, I release Tori's hand and run up to the guard rail, taking in the sights. The Hollywood Sign is right beneath us, so close I could jump the rail and touch it. I think about it. I really do. Tori joins me at the rail.

"Wow." She breathes.

"It's gorgeous." I claim.

"We live in quite the city." Tori observes.

"Thank you for taking me here, Tori." I lean into her slowly, putting my head on her shoulder. Again, the closeness makes me nervous and constrained but otherwise… it feels right.

"Thank you for coming with me." She says back. I feel her shift her head slightly as she places a gentle kiss on top of my head. I don't even flinch. Letting out a sigh, I turn to her. She turns as well and I look into her eyes. I know I'm giving her the same look she gave me earlier. She leans her face forward and my breath hitches, but she stops before getting too close, giving me a comforting look. I close the distance.

It's a longer kiss. About as forceful as we left off yesterday. Again, she stays unresponsive at first. I don't know how she does it. I guess she must feel me relax and she responds a bit. The flashbacks hit me harder than I thought and I jump back in surprise.

"UGH!" I groan. "Sorry." I frown.

"It's okay. Take your time." Tori says reassuringly.

"I just _really _want to kiss you without feeling like I'm about to get… ugh." I whine. Tori slowly and carefully rubs my shoulder comfortingly.

"You'll get there." She states. I look at her with a smile.

"Practice makes perfect." I mutter, leaning back in to capture her lips again. We continue the light kissing until the anxiety gets to be too much. "Thank you." I whisper, breaking off from her.

"For what?" She murmurs.

"For being patient. I know it might be frustrating… and if it's not now, it might be eventually." I mumble.

"Cat, I'm fine with any pace you want to go at. Remember, this is new to me too. I want to go slow as well." Tori assures me.

"Okay." I give a slight smile. Tori turns to look at L.A. and gasps. I look and a gasp escapes my lips too. The sky had been painted in oranges and pinks as the sun was setting. I see a lot of sunsets, but they never fail to catch my eye and take my breath away.

"Well, what do you know." Tori sighs.

"What?" I ask.

"I… don't know how you feel. And maybe I'm jinxing it, but… this was an incredible first date." Tori smiles. I grin.

"So, we worked out?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yeah… I think so." She nods. "But…"

I bite my lip. "Yeah. I know. I'm still unsure about a lot of things. But I want to keep doing… this." I explain softly. She seems relieved that I understand.

"I just… Don't want to hurt you weeks down the line if these feelings pass, or I figure out I misunderstood how I felt for something else." Tori sighs.

"And I don't want to hurt you if I find out I just can't handle a relationship yet, or lose my ability to have a decent relationship in general." I add. Tori's eyes darken as she thinks.

"How about…" She starts slowly. "We continue to date…"

"Okay…"

"But we arrange some sort of… scapegoat. Some sort of… time limit where we'll both know where we stand by the time we reach it. We can try this until then… and have a mutual understanding that when we reach that point… that one of us or both of us might not be able to do it anymore." She finishes.

"…Okay." I agree. My heart sinks at the idea of not being with Tori, but it makes sense to me.

"It can't be too far away… I mean, I'd hate to ruin our friendship." Tori describes.

"So it needs to be enough time where we can figure things out and get comfortable with a relationship, but not long enough that our hearts can get too broken." I conclude.

"Exactly." Tori nods. I think for a moment.

"Tori… You know the hundred day kiss?" I ask.

"Yes?"

"Well… what if we shorten that a bit? Like… a sixty day kiss. Starting from today." I suggest.

"That gives us about two months… so on the sixtieth day, if we still want to be together, we kiss and that's it. We have many more ahead of us. But if not…" Tori accounts.

"We kiss for the last time. A kiss goodbye to what we had." My voice chokes at the last part. Tori holds my hands.

"Hey, this doesn't mean for sure we're breaking up. This is just as a precaution… to set us at ease about possibly losing each other. You don't have to worry too much. I want this to happen." Tori assures me.

"Same." I sigh, leaning my head into the crook of her neck for a moment. I get a frightening thought and I push myself off her, looking intently in her eyes. "Tori…"

"Yes, Cat?" She asks, concerned with my sudden change.

"Am I your girlfriend now?" I ask, staring hard. Tori looks surprised.

"I… I suppose so." She stammers.

"Please Tori, I need to hear that you're sure. Before I go any further." I say. She's perplexed for a moment, but then realization flashes across her features and her face softens. Derek never told me I was his girlfriend. He justified what he did to me because that was "my assumption".

"Cat, will you be my girlfriend?" Tori asks in a definite tone. I smile and my eyes flicker to hers.

"Will you be mine?" I ask back.

"Yes." She whispers.

"And it's just us?"

"We'll be completely monogamous. You'll be the only girl in my life." Tori confirms.

"No boys?"

"Just you. You're the only one I want to date. I care about you, Cat. I'll do everything I can to be the best girlfriend I can for you, as long as you're patient with my confused feelings. And I'll continue to protect you from anything that would keep that smile off your face." Tori rhymes off. I break into a grin.

"Then yes, I'll be your girlfriend." I proclaim. A blush enters her face.

"That… makes me incredibly happy." She breathes.

"Good, 'cause it makes me happy too." I smile, softly wrapping my arms around her. "Hug me back." I whisper. She does so carefully, even chancing a squeeze. Stay away, Derek. No one wants you here.

"We should head back before it gets dark." Tori sighs, releasing me.

"Kay, kay." I smile with a nod. I link my left arm with her right and snake my right hand down to tangle my fingers with hers. We walk back that way, me leaning my weight on her and her supporting me, just as she has been doing for the longest time. Eventually and unfortunately, we arrive outside of my house just as it gets dark. Why does time go so fast when you're enjoying what's happening?

"I know this is a cliché line, but… I had a great time today." Tori says.

"Are you still nervous?" I ask.

"A little bit… but now I'm mostly-"

"Excited."

"Yeah." Tori smiles. I smile back. She has that glazed look in her eyes again.

"One more for the road?" I ask sweetly.

"If you feel up to it." She sighs. I lean forward and press my lips to hers, breathing in her scent. I pull away and start giggling.

"What?" Tori asks, a little self-conscious.

"And I didn't slap you **once**." I beam. She sighs in relief.

"Look at that improvement. A+." Tori chuckles. "Goodnight, Cat. I'll call you tomorrow, or text."

"Thank you for not saying you'll talk to me three days after the first date or something like that." I giggle.

"Never." Tori smiles. I quickly lean forward again and peck her on the lips again, surprising her.

"Bye Tori!" I call out as I get out of the car. I catch the shocked/happy look on her face. One day, I want her to be able to have me make that face too. I want her to be able to surprise me with a kiss. I skip up to my front door and head inside.

"Mom, dad, I'm home!" I shout out. I look flushed when I see myself in the front hall mirror.

"Hi honey. How was your day with Tori?" My mom asks. I give a bit of a double take because at first I thought she said "date".

"It was amazing." I grin.

"Glad you have a friend like her." My dad says. I just giggle.

You know those kind of days that feel so amazing that you lie in bed awake thinking about it? Suddenly, this isn't a fantasy anymore. It's really real. And yeah, I was really glad that night when I felt the falling sensation jerking me back awake just before I fell asleep. That way, I got to stay up thinking about the day even longer. The day, and my new girlfriend Tori.

* * *

**Author's Notes: OH MY GOD. Fourteen chapters later and they're finally together. My goodness, how I did drag this out. Anyway, I was hitting you guys with nothing but angstangstangst the last few chapters, so I gave you a light and fluffy one for a breather! The angst will come back, though. It always does...**

**So, Cat and Tori have decided to date. That means the story is done, right? Next chapter is going to be an epilogue of them in an old folks home and they lie in bed and die together all Notebook style, right? WRONG. I have so much more material to cover! This story is so much more than Cat's struggles. For once, we're really going to get a glance into the early workings of a Cori relationship. I think that's nice!**

**Fun Fact: Writing the date was the first time I hit writer's block in this story. Maybe I'm just not romantic. I got through it when I was listening to Voodoo Love by Ariana Grande and a montage of Cat and Tori causing a ruckus in the mall formed in my head. I just filled in the spaces with dialogue and such. Also, I asked Beck.**


	15. It Pours

**Author's Note: Do you guys have any idea how much I love you? Let me break it down - I have two houses in different cities (my parents' and the house I rent for school), and I go from one to the other monthly. Tonight, I came to the house I rent, and it's a pretty far drive. I get here and... I forgot my laptop. Stupid. My plan was to just go to sleep and head back tomorrow morning to get it. But then I remembered I needed to post this chapter... SO I DROVE BACK, GOT MY LAPTOP, AND THEN CAME BACK HERE. My poor gas mileage. Don't think I don't care about you guys! **

**Disclaimer: I own Victorious just as much as I own a brain, which is not at all. I can't believe I forgot my laptop...**

* * *

_Know what I've been thinking about?_

I smile as I read Tori's text, one of about probably hundreds since our first date on Friday. Rolling over onto my stomach on my bed, I type a reply.

_No, what?_

_What if you had just tried on a slightly larger size of the dress at the store, and if you liked it, you could've bought it and taken it somewhere to have it fitted?_ Tori replies.

I giggle at the sentiment. That's what she's been thinking about? _I could have, but that wouldn't nearly have been as much fun! _I send, then as a serious after thought, _Plus, I don't think getting fitted would go over well with me._

_All good points._ Tori's text agrees.

_Know what I've been thinking about? _I send with a smile.

_Whatcha thinkin' bout, Cat? _

_You :) _

_You're too cute. I can't get over you. _Tori replies. I try picturing the smile on her face right now. If it's anywhere close to how wide my smile is, I'll be happy.

_When are we going to tell our friends? _I ask.

_About how cute you are? I think they already know, to be honest ;) _Tori jokes in her text. At least, I think it's a joke.

_Nooo silly! About US! _I send back for clarification.

_Haha I know. I was teasing. We can tell them tomorrow, if you want. _Tori suggests. Tomorrow? That's Monday. That's the first time we'd be seeing our friends since deciding we're a couple.

_Already? Are you sure? _I try to clarify.

_Might as well. Despite my anxiousness, I seriously don't want to hide my feelings. Especially from our friends. Besides, Andre won't stop bugging me about it. I think he knows something's up. _Tori explains. I blush into my bed sheets.

_Let's put his mind at ease then :) Tomorrow it is! _

_Yep, tomorrow! And it's late now, so we should get to sleep. I'll see you in class. _Her text reads.

_I look forward to it. Goodnight, Tori. _I send.

_Night, Cat. Sweet dreams. And I really mean that. Call me if you have any problems with nightmares. _Tori offers. I had done that last night after a bad night terror for the first time in a few days. She stayed on the phone until I fell asleep again. Such a sweetheart…

_Thanks, Tori :)_

Luckily, I didn't have to wake her up.

* * *

"This, class," The teacher whips a piece of paper in the air in front of everyone, "is **not **a proper cue list! First of all, it should been written in _black pen_! It's dark up in those rafters, and this silly neon green ink will not suffice! Furthermore, can we please try to write neatly? What does this even say? 'Welch to feather prison'? 'Four no blargh'? Unacceptable! A lighting crew would never be able to proper work off this garbage, possibly ruining your show!" The teacher scolds, pushing the paper back into the hands of the owner. "Do it again!"

She storms off, leaving the cowering student. I give a shudder. I get that she's smart, and knows her stuff, but why does she have to be so mean? I catch Tori's eye across the theatre and we share a smile. We've been doing that all morning. Can't act couple-y until we do the big reveal. After breaking eye-contact, I skip up to Jade, who's carefully sketching out a set on a large sheet of paper.

"Hi Jade!" I say cheerfully.

"I'm busy." She mumbles, not looking away from her drawing.

"Okay." I smile, standing there patiently. Eventually she tenses and puts down her pencil with a sigh.

"Why are you still standing there?" She asks.

"I wanted to apologize for ruining your play." I mutter guiltily. She finally turns to face me.

"You didn't ruin anything. Just forget it." Jade drawls, turning back to her work.

"…So…" I start. Jade hits the box she's leaning against in frustration.

"What, Cat?" She snaps.

"Um… I was thinking that maybe we could do the scene differently. Like, with a shadow screen or something. That way you can get an artistic effect without me actually touching-"

"Cat, I rewrote the script and you're not cast in it anymore." Jade states dryly.

"Oh." My face falls even more.

"Anything else?" Jade asks, but I know the conversation's over.

"No, that's all." I mumble.

"Cool. Bye." Jade says, getting back to work. I turn and walk away. I'm used to Jade being mean, but her behaviour still puzzles me. I notice Tori watching me. She's giving me a look of concern, but I just shrug. The teacher pokes her head back into the theatre.

"Now would be a good time to take a break for lunch. Even the hardest working directors need time to nourish themselves and refresh their minds." She announces, pulling her head out of the room again.

"Hey Cat, let's go to the Asphalt Café." Robbie suggests. He's been super nice and respectful since last Monday. He even bought me a muffin basket last week.

"We'll join you." Beck saunters over with Jade.

"Usual table?" Andre adds.

"Of course." Tori joins the group, making us complete. She gives me a nervous smile. It's almost time. I give her a reassuring look. I'm sure having our best friends know will make it seem that much more real. I wonder how she feels about that… I wonder how I feel about that. Now I'm getting nervous.

We get our food from Festus, who came back a month early just because of the intensive (or maybe he never left. I think he lives in the truck), and then head to our usual table. Everyone's talking about something, but I'm not paying attention. I'm too busy fiddling with Tori's shaky hand under the table. I'm trying to stroke it soothingly, but I'm not much help. I'm shaking, too.

"Cat, since when do you eat with your left hand?" Robbie asks me. I jump in surprise. Of course, my right hand is under the table, so I've been holding my fork with my left hand. I freeze, trying to think of something fast.

"Oh, you know. Why fit into society's norms? Who says a right-handed person can't eat with their left hand? What's with that idea? Fight the man! Y'know? Hahaha." I ramble out nervously.

"I… I guess…?" Robbie says skeptically. Tori lets out a sigh beside me.

"Actually, guys…" Tori starts. I look over at her and, although she's still nervous, she's giving me a look that says it's okay. I start to relax. "Cat and I have something to tell you."

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" Andre raises an eyebrow expectantly. Making a popping sound with her lips, Tori raises our joined hands onto the table for everyone to see. Everyone stares at our hands and Tori looks to me. I get the message, and turn to look at everyone with a big grin.

"Tori and I are together!" I declare. There's silence for a moment, but then…

"YES!" Andre shouts, jumping out of his seat and sending his fries flying everywhere. "Woohoo! Finally!"

"It's about time, you two. Congrats." Beck claps politely. Even Jade's mouth turns up a bit into a ghost of a smile, and her eyes look like they're full of pride. Robbie, on the other hand, looks confusedly between all of us.

"Wait, was I the only one who didn't know there was something between them?" Robbie whines.

"Hell, even I couldn't miss that romantic tension." Rex pipes up. I look at Robbie's shocked face with pity. The feeling of never being able to be liked back by my crush was still fresh in my mind.

"Will you be okay with it, Robbie? Because your support and approval is important to me." I say gently. He blinks at me.

"Am I **okay** with _you _dating _Tori_?!" Robbie gawks, and then his mouth twists into a pleasant smile. "Why, I think it's just dandy! It's… it's fantastic! It's… kind of aOW!" Robbie is cut off by Jade flicking him in the back of the head.

"None of that." She scolds. Robbie winces as he rubs the back of his head.

"What? I'm just saying I think it's a **very good thing**." Robbie emphasizes. Tori raises an eyebrow.

"Thank you, Robbie." I giggle.

"So, how long has the happy couple been a happy couple?" Andre grins.

"Friday." Tori blushes.

"And you took this long to tell me? What's wrong with you?" He exasperates.

"Sorry! We just… didn't know completely how you'd react." Tori admits.

"Well, personally, I don't think of you any differently than I did before." Beck comments.

"Which is…" Jade goads, leaning towards Beck menacingly. Tori rolls her eyes at the fact that Jade is still worried about Beck going after her. Although, now that I'm dating her… He better not go after my Tori!

"A good friend." Beck states, holding his hands up submissively. "A good friend who happens to be dating my other good friend. Nothing wrong with that."

"Thanks Beck." Tori beams. I give Tori's hand a squeeze and she looks over at me. Our look holds an unspoken conversation. Our friends approve of us. It's just another thing to check off that feels right about our relationship.

* * *

It's Thursday evening, and Tori is lounging in my bed. No, not like that, obviously. It's hard enough for me just to cuddle with her. Anything involving a sexual encounter still makes my stomach churn, so that's a far way off. If we ever make it that far.

Did I mention the idea of not being with Tori also makes my stomach churn?

I'm sitting at my laptop at my desk making notes in my director's log, and she's reading over lines for Robbie's play. I ended up in the play of one of the random other people in the class. The script is… slightly mediocre, but the girl is nice enough and I'm sure my script isn't that much better. I'm sad I can't be a part of Jade's genius, but it's probably for the best.

"Ugh." Tori groans. I swivel in my chair to look at her.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I'm just trying to figure out how to deliver these lines. Damnit, Robbie. I've never been on drugs before. How am I supposed to portray what a trip looks like?" Tori groans.

"Look up videos on the internet?" I suggest.

"I could do that… This is just so much work. I have to worry about getting this down-pat for Robbie's sake, make sure _my_ actors are on the ball with their blocking and lines, plus getting the set and costumes… The teacher was right, this is stressful." Tori sighs, rubbing her temples slowly. I bite my lip. I know how Tori stresses out easily, and how she gets under that stress. I pop off my chair and plop on the bed beside her. She looks at me, curious.

"Sit up." I order. She does so and I squeeze myself between the headboard and her backside. Sitting up straight and crossing my legs, I place my hands on her shoulders. "Let's take a break for a bit." I murmur, kneading my fingers into her tense muscles.

"That… feels really good." Tori moans gratefully. A smile dances around my lips.

"Good." I sigh. My breath brushes past her strands of hair and reaches her neck, causing her to shiver. My smile widens.

"Hey, Cat…" Tori mutters, leaning her head forward a bit as I massage a knot at the base of her neck.

"Yeah?"

"I gave you the full story about how I became attracted to you… but I don't know anything about how it happened for you with me." She sighs.

"You're right." I smile.

"What's the story?" Tori questions. I hesitate for a minute.

"Sing me 'Tell Me That You Love Me'?" I request.

"What? Why?" Tori asks, confused. I run my tongue over my upper lip.

"Just do it. Please?" I plead sweetly. Tori lets out a breath as I continue to work at her back.

"_Tell me that you love me, yeah_

_And tell me that I take your breath away_

_Maybe if you take one more_

_Then I would know for sure_

_There's nothing left to say_

_But tell me that you love me anyway._" Tori sings softly. Wrapping my arms around her neck slowly and clasping my hands together in front of her, I lean my head on the back of her shoulder.

"Mmm… Memories." I sigh.

"Was that the moment? You knew right back then that you wanted to be with me?" Tori asks, surprised.

"Mhm." I confirm. She pauses for a moment.

"I'm suddenly really grateful that Robbie ordered all that caviar." Tori says. I let out a light chuckle. "Sorry it took me so much longer to realize." She adds.

"It's fine. We're here now." I state, leaning back to continue working on her shoulders. She lets out another soft moan in response. Her phone buzzes and she picks it up to check. I didn't mean to look – I'm not an invasive girlfriend – but I happen to be right over her shoulder. It's from Trina.

_Soooo, sis, how's the GF? Does she want another autograph? Don't have too much fun, now ;) _

Tori let's out an embarrassed huff and throws the phone down.

"Trina knows?" I ask, not accusingly, just curiously.

"Yeah. She heard me – nng, a little farther to the left... Thanks – freaking out to Andre about it in one of my many rants one night. Sorry." Tori sighs.

"Don't be sorry. I don't mind." I giggle, digging an elbow into another knot hoping to make her moan again. She doesn't disappoint me. "I guess she approves?"

"Well… yeah. I mean, she teases me incessantly, but she doesn't tease me any different than if I had been crushing on a guy. It helped, in a way. It helped me reach that point of feeling it was okay to be attracted to a girl." Tori explains.

"Thank Trina." I laugh.

"Please don't let her ever hear you replace the word 'god' with 'Trina'." Tori begs. She pushes herself away from my touch and turns around to face me, also crossing her legs. "Thanks for the massage. That felt great." She says, rolling her shoulders back.

"No problem." I smile. My smile falters a bit when I have a thought. "Now that Trina knows… are you going to tell your parents?"

Tori turns visibly uncomfortable with the notion. "I… don't know. I guess I'll have too at some point. I mean, I'm sure they'll come to terms with it eventually but who knows how they'll feel about it at first…" Tori ponders. "Are you going to tell your parents?" She asks back. I feel the blood rush from my face.

"Honestly, I'd rather not. If I can avoid it." I whisper. I know they're right downstairs. "They have a very strong opinion about… homosexuality."

"Which is?" Tori asks, looking concerned.

"That it's very bad. They don't approve of it at all… I don't think they'll like me very much after I come out." I mumble. Tori pushes herself off my bed and stands over me, worry etched on her face.

"And you're sure? What, do you think they would disown you or something?" Tori asks. My eyes are downcast.

"Possibly. I'd rather not think about it." I admit. Tori starts pacing in my room, running a hand through her hair in an anxious motion. I follow her a bit with my eyes. "Tori?"

"I don't know how I feel about that." Tori mumbles, still pacing.

"About what? About my parents being against our relationship?" I ask quietly.

"That, and the fact that if what you say is true, then I might have to subject you to a choice between me and your _family_." Tori gasps. "That's an insane notion. I don't know if I can do that."

I quickly stand up and place myself in front of her to stop her pacing, my face serious. "You don't need to worry about that. _I _need to worry about that. I've accepted that this is a part of who I am. Sure, maybe my parents won't like that part of me. Yes, that makes me sad, but I don't want to deal with that yet." I tentatively place a hand on her cheek. I take a deep breath. "You're who I want to deal with right now. Our relationship. My relationship with my parents will have to wait, because this right here – that's important to me." I rant. She still looks uneasy, so I place a kiss on the side of her mouth. Hmm, slightly better. "Tori, you promised you'd try this out." I plead.

"Of course, I'm not backing out now." Tori sighs. "It's just another thing to worry about."

"_Later._" I emphasize. "Like, after the sixty day kiss later." She smiles at me, with that look.

"Yeah, we're here now." Tori states. I lean forward and kiss her fully on the lips. She responds a bit more quickly this time, and I smile against her lips. Unfortunately, I stay a bit too long and my anxiety becomes a bit overwhelming. I rip myself away and face away from her, tears in my eyes. "Cat…" Tori sighs.

"I hate this." I grumble, still fighting down the anxiety as I sit down on the side of my bed, still not looking at her. I don't want to see the disappointment on her face from yet another kiss cut far too short. Then, I feel a hand brush the skin of my neck, and I'm back in Derek's room again.

"Shit." Tori curses as I jump away and curl into a ball, shaking uncontrollably. I wasn't ready for her touch. Will I ever be ready for her touch?

"Don't touch me." I tremble out.

"Cat, I'm sorry…" She mutters as I continue to wrack my body with spasms as I fight through the flashbacks, trying to get away from his menacing form, his invasive actions, his…

As usual, I pull myself together eventually and slowly sit up. My face feels wet from tears. Tori's sitting on the side of the bed as well, far away from me. She's staring straight ahead, frowning.

"Why do you get to give me massages, but I don't get to do the same for you when you're feeling down?" Tori asks dryly. This makes me want to cry all over again.

"Tori…" That's all I can say. I have no explanation for her. This is what I had been afraid of. She shakes her head.

"Forget it. I know it's not your fault. I can't be mad." Tori sighs.

"You're allowed to be mad." I choke out.

"Well, I'm not mad at you." Tori says.

"You can be mad at me, too. I'm mad at me." I admit.

"You shouldn't be. It'll… just take time." Tori says, finally looking at me.

"And if I'm stuck at this point forever?" I ask hesitantly.

"Don't think like that." Tori reassures. I want to not think like that, and I know Tori believes I'll get better… otherwise she wouldn't be dating me. But I have to face the fact that I may never feel completely better. I just hope Tori can accept that if that time comes.

Despite her words of encouragement, I spent the rest of the night closed off and Tori seemed very standoffish. We didn't even kiss goodbye.

* * *

"Laaaaane." I groan, storming into the man in question's office the next day before class. He looks up from whatever he was writing, surprised.

"Good morning, Cat. How are the night terrors?" He asks.

"Way better, thanks." I answer, slumping into a chair and pouting.

"You… don't seem too happy about that." Lane notes.

"No, I am." I sigh. "It's just that I have another problem now."

Lane folds his hands, giving me a patient look. "Talk to me about it."

"Well… Ever since the… Ever since I… I've had a huge problem with, um, touch." I explain.

"Haphephobia." Lane states.

"What?" I blink.

"That's what it's called. Haphephobia, or the fear of being touched. It's not uncommon in victims of sexual assault." Lane recites. That… actually makes me feel slightly better. My condition has a name and I'm not the only one who suffers from it. I'm not the crazy one.

"Yeah… I really freak out if somebody touches me, even in a non-threatening or friendly way. I like… Lose myself, and am overcome with anxiety. I have vivid flashbacks…" I describe.

"I'm sorry you have to go through that, Cat." Lane says softly.

"Well, it's bad in the first place, but…" I trail off.

"But…?"

"I'm seeing someone now." I admit. Lane looks like he disapproves for a moment before going back to having a look of understanding.

"Isn't it a bit soon?" Lane asks calmly.

"Maybe. I don't know. Personally, I think it was a long time coming." I explain. "I trust this person with my life though, and I care about her very much."

"Her?" Lane notes. I blush, realizing what I just revealed.

"Ye-yeah…"

"It's fine, Cat. I just wanted to clarify. Continue." Lane urges.

"Okay… So, sometimes when I prepare myself, we can hug or even kiss. But not all the time. Sometimes it's really hard to get over that… phobia… thing." I stumble. "And then it just really puts a damper on the whole romance stuff."

"But it's okay sometimes?" He asks.

"I suppose, sort of. Most of the time I can touch her fine with minimal nervousness, but as soon as she touches me I go into crazy mode." I explain. It's true, I gave Tori the massage no problem, but if she had leaned back into me, my brain would've went haywire like when she brushed my neck. "She can hold my hand without it effecting me, and on the rarest occasions she can give me a quick touch like a kiss on my head or lightly touch of my cheek and it's so fast my anxiety can't even register." I blush when I realize what I'm describing, feeling like it's pretty personal. "Sorry if this is too much information."

"Not a problem, Cat. I've heard way more than a kiss or a touch of the cheek from students before." Lane assures me.

"Okay… well, it's kind of frustrating for her. To not be able to touch me when I touch her." I explain. "I don't know why I can touch but not be touched."

"Want to hear my theory on that?" Lane asks.

"Sure."

"You lost a lot of your control that day, when it came to the human touch. When you touch someone, you still have the control so that doesn't scare you. It's only when someone, even those that you trust touch you that you start to panic at the loss of control." Lane theorizes.

"That… would make sense." I say, thinking about it.

"Has it gotten any better since you started seeing each other?"

"Well… it's only been a week since we started this, so, I really can't tell." I admit. Lane nods.

"Cat, to be honest, sometimes people who suffer from this condition never fully recover from it. But I wouldn't be discouraged. The incident is so fresh, and you're just getting into a situation where you have to face the phobia head on. Of course it'll be hard at first." Lane explains. "But how do people get over the phobia of spiders? Of heights?"

"I don't know. How?" I ask.

"Prolonged exposure." Lane smiles. "There will be some setbacks, but if this girl cares about you as much as you care about her, then maybe you'll be able to get through it together."

"I hope so." I sigh.

"Try to think positively. Promise me?" Lane smirks.

"I promise." I smile.

"Good."

"Thanks again, Lane. You're a big help." I say, standing up and brushing myself off.

"It's what I do." Lane shrugs. I left and went into the blackbox theatre. I was a little late, so people had already started. Tori was standing by some of her set pieces, looking thoughtful. I sidle up beside her, slipping her hand into mine.

"Cat. Hey." She sighs, giving my hand a soft squeeze.

"I'm sorry about last night." I say, placing a light kiss on her shoulder. I feel like I'm sorry to everyone lately.

"Water under the bridge." Tori smiles at me. What bridge?

"Do you want to hang out tomorrow?" I ask.

"Absolutely. My house?"

"Sounds good to me." I grin.

Tori offered to drive me home and so after class we walked out to the school parking-lot together hand-in-hand. As we approached Tori's car I saw Lane at his car, smiling in our direction. He shot me a thumbs up, and I smiled back.

* * *

"Seriously, though! Try it!" I urge.

"I don't know. Won't it be all soggy?" Tori asks.

"No, of course not." I giggle. "Just do it. Trust me."

"Alright… but if I hate it, you're in trouble for ruining my grilled cheese." Tori glares mockingly. Tori dips her buttery, cheesy sandwich into the tomato soup I demanded we make also for lunch. She hesitantly takes a bite, and her eyes light up. "That's pretty good."

"I told you!" I grin, resting my head on my hands. "Next I should get you to try French fries and ice cream."

"I don't know where you come up with these concoctions." Tori shakes her head.

"I just think about two good things, and wonder if the two good things will be amazing combined." I explain, beaming.

"I can't imagine that working out all the time." Tori comments.

"No, it really doesn't." I frown at the memories of bad experiments with food. Tori leans close, dropping her voice.

"But some things do." She whispers.

"You aren't talking about food anymore, are you?" I giggle. Tori shakes her head and I quickly glance around her living room to make sure nobody's around. When I see the coast is clear, I peck her on the cheek. I probably don't have to be so secretive about the simple gesture. I used to kiss Tori on the cheek all the time. Only this time, she knows what's behind it and that goofy grin on her face might raise some questions.

"So, what do you want to do now?" Tori asks. Cuddle. Kiss. But I don't want to cause a repeat of Thursday night already. Still… prolonged exposure.

"TV? On the couch?" I suggest.

"Solid plan." Tori says. We sit on the couch and I get part of my wish. She turns on the Dingo Channel and I lean my head on her shoulder – another action that I used to do all the time, so it won't raise suspicion. Plus, this is as far as cuddling we usually get. Sigh.

"You know, the Dingo Channel used to be pretty decent." I comment, listening to the cheesy lines.

"It was, wasn't it?" Tori chuckles. The movement of her body causes some nervousness. Seriously, phobia. Calm down.

"Yeah. Not so much anymore." I sigh.

"They last time I saw a show on here that I could stand was when they copied ICarly." Tori notes.

"ICarly did it better." I state.

"I'm sad that web show is over now. I wonder what Sam, Carly and Freddie are doing now?" Tori ponders.

"Probably being their own crazy selves and having adventures." I say. Tori changes the channel and we continue to watch in silence. Silence that lasted until I hear a low rumble outside. I sit up straight, suddenly filled with an anxious, uneasy feeling.

"Cat, what is it?" Tori asks. Another rumble.

"Is that thunder?" I ask in a panic.

"I think so… why?" Tori look confused and concerned.

"I don't know… I just…" There's a flash of lightning followed by a loud crack of thunder while heavy rain pelts the house. I jump up in a disorienting panic. "Oh GOD."

"Cat, relax! Come sit down with me." Tori pleads. But I'm barely listening. I'm darting frantically in front of the couch. So many details are flooding back to me. So many things I thought I had forgotten. A flash of lightning. His face full of sick pleasure in an instant. A crack of thunder, my back slamming into the back of the bed repeatedly and painfully. The rain, sloshing against my blood stained legs as I weakly ran from the house. It's all so clear. It's all so horrible.

"Th-The thunderstorm." I cry out, turning to Tori with blood-shot eyes. "The thunderstorm, Tori." Her face floods with horror as she understands. Another crack of thunder and I throw myself on the couch wailing. "Oh god make it stop. Make him stop." I whimper, closing my legs tightly. Tori runs from my sight and I slap a pillow over my face, curled up on my side. She couldn't take it. She couldn't handle the mess I am. She left me. More thunder. More lightning. More rain. More details. I can't take it. I can't take-

A different sound. A loud sound, but different. A familiar sound. It's louder than the storm. I start to recognize it. It's one of my favourite songs. A song that reminds me of happier times. I can't hear the storm anymore. The images and details are fading. The next thing I know, along with the song, I feel myself being lifted up gently. The pillow falls from my face as I'm gathered into Tori's embrace. It's warm, unlike the pouring rain. It's soft, unlike the angry thunder. I welcome it.

"Shh, it's okay." She rocks me back and forth as I tremble and cuddle into her torso. Her arms are completely surrounding me, supporting me. Her lips rest against the top of my head as she murmur's comforting words at me. "It's alright. You're here with me. Nothing's going to hurt you. I got you."

"Tori…" I mumble into the base of her neck. It's Tori. She's got me. Suddenly, the loud music goes away. No. No. No more storm…

"Honestly, Tori. Does it have to be so loud? The neighbours are going to complain." Tori's mom scolds, standing near the loud speakers. Tori whips her head in that direction.

"Mom, turn that back on!" Tori demands.

"I don't appreciate that tone, Tori." Her mom says. It's now that her mom seems to notice our current entanglement with each other. She gives a puzzled look. Another thunder clap and it starts rushing back. I wince into Tori, my hands bunching the back of her shirt desperate to pull her closer.

"Mom, it's _really _important that Cat doesn't hear the thunderstorm." Tori pleads. I can see her through blurry vision as she looks closer at me.

"Oh." She realizes. She turns the sound system back on. No more thunder. "Do I need to call her parents?" I shake my head rapidly, still with my face nestled into her neck. Don't you dare take me away from my protector now.

"No, mom. Just give her some time." Tori explains over the loud music.

"Okay, let me know if she needs anything." Her mom offers. And then she's gone. Alone with Tori.

"You okay?" Tori asks. I snuggle into her, bringing up my knees, trying to get closer and completely consumed by her.

"Better." I whimper. "Don't leave."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Tori assures me as she starts gently rubbing my back. Time went on as more loud music played. Sometimes it wasn't even a song I liked, but I loved it in that moment. Better than hearing the storm outside. Sometimes Tori would start singing along. That would make it even better. Soon enough, I found the courage to lift my head from the sanctuary she had provided me.

"Tori…" I sigh, leaning my head in to capture her mouth in a kiss. I don't check if anyone might see. That's not important. All that's important is Tori. I nip gently at her lips and she does the same to me. I turn my head and drag my lips across her jaw line, finally resting by her ear. "You gave me a massage." I whisper.

"Yeah, I did." Tori gives me a light squeeze. Yeah, the anxiety is still there. I'm not cured, but it's not overwhelming like usual. My brain can tell the difference between safe and unsafe right now, and right now Tori is very safe. It gives me hope. Maybe, just maybe I can get over this.

But my reaction to the storm today seemed to hold further concerns.

* * *

"Laaaaannneeeee!" I cry entering his office on Monday. He glances up from his desk at me once again.

"Back so soon?"

"I have another problem…"

* * *

**Author's Notes: The "massage" Cat refers to at the end of the chapter is of course used metaphorically. Tori just comforted her physically when Cat was sad. So, that's what that line meant, in case anyone was wondering. So now we have a bit of a better understanding of what's up with Cat's issue with physical touch - obviously a roadblock in a relationship. But it just means every successful touch/kiss/cuddle is that much more special! **

**So I feel like I just drove for a very long time to get this chapter to you... Oh wait, I did. I mean, you guys don't owe me anything - I'm grateful you're reading this at all! But reviews would make me feel much better about what I did. And I want to know, how do you feel about how I'm writing Cat and Tori's relationship so far? Is it realistic? Too cheesy? Waitwhathuh needs to know! Kay I'm going to go watch the newest episode of Twisted and then sleep forever... **

**Fun Fact: When I was writing this chapter, there was actually an intense thunderstorm happening outside. It definitely helped set the mood!**


	16. Trial And Error

**Author's Note: I've taken a lot of classes in my 20 and a half years of living - but law wasn't one of them. I'm also not a huge fan of crime shows so I can't even go off of that. I did a fair amount of research online for this, but ultimately I have no idea how these kinds of trials are run for real. So, be forgiving with me when it comes to the trial. I tried my best with it.**

**Disclaimer: If I really wanted to research trials, I would say I own Victorious so that could be brought to court. But I'm not that invested, so... I don't own it. Don't arrest me. **

* * *

I had now acquired the habit of checking the weather every night and every morning. Now that I knew thunderstorms were one of my "triggers", as Lane had put it, I had to be cautious. My parents got me noise cancelling headphones going off of Tori's idea to drown out the sound of a storm with music. But I still didn't want to be caught off guard by a sudden storm and have a nervous breakdown at an inopportune moment. Lucky, there were no storms forecasted for the day of our play performances, or the trial.

The plays went well. At least, I'm pretty sure mine passed. Jade still ended up having Beck in her play as well as a random other male. She changed it expertly. Beck played Frank, across the sea at the war. The other guy played his comrade as Beck lamented about his beautiful wife Linda at home while sulking around in the trenches, and how he wants to have a child with her when he gets home. Heartbreakingly, the comrade shoots Beck in the end, revealing himself as a traitor. Shivers. Tori also showed a drug trip pretty well, I think. I don't know why people don't think she's a good actor. She was worried for nothing. The intensive was a very rewarding experience over-all.

That was last night. Now I'm standing in front of my mirror checking out my outfit for the trial. A green blouse and black dress pants. I want to cover every inch of my body, though. I don't want him to see any part of my skin.

"Maybe I should put on a cardigan." I mumble. Tori steps into the mirror image behind me, looking worried for me. She hasn't left my side since she came over to help me get ready this morning. I need her today.

"It's pretty warm out." Tori says, biting her lip. I know. I checked the weather. I hug my arms, still staring at myself uneasily.

"I guess." I sigh.

"Do whatever makes you feel comfortable, Cat." She says, placing her hands on my shoulders. I lean back into her and close my eyes. Since the night of the thunderstorm I've been much better dealing with Tori's touches. She still has to be careful, and I told her that I need to see it coming before she touches me. This is fine. I could see her in the mirror. I want her to envelope me in her arms rather than just hold my shoulders. I almost ask, but my anxiety is already pretty high today. I have to see Derek.

"I had a bad dream last night." I mutter. Her thumbs gently rub into my shoulders with soothing circles.

"I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?" Tori asks softly. She rests her cheek on top of my head.

"We were in the court room… And Derek was there. And everyone loved him, and hated me. You were the only one on my side. When you defended me… He…" I shudder at the vague memory of my dream. "He attacked you. I… I don't know. It was different from usual. Usually he's after me in my dreams, but this time he wanted to kill you for protecting me. For keeping him from me." I turn to face Tori, still leaning into her. "I don't want him to hurt you."

"He won't. And I won't let him get to you." Tori assures me, placing a hand lightly on my cheek. "You couldn't be in a safer place during this trial. I promise."

"He's in my mind, Tori." I shift uncomfortably. "I feel like the moment he looks at me… I don't know how I'm going to react." I cuddle my head into the crook of her neck. One of my favourite places to be.

"Then just look at me. Or know that I'm watching you carefully." Tori promises as she runs her fingers through my hair. I nuzzle my head up and rest my forehead against hers, wrapping my arms around her neck.

"Kay, kay." I whisper, pressing my lips to hers.

"Cat?" I hear my mom's voice and immediately jump away from Tori like somebody just shocked me. I turn, horrified, to the doorway. No one's there. Her voice came from downstairs. I let out a sigh of relief that reflects Tori's.

"Yeah, mom?" I shout down to her.

"Are you and Tori ready? It's almost time to get going." My mom answers back.

"Almost."

"Okay, come down and see me before you leave." My mom says, followed by a fit of coughing. Poor woman is sick.

"Okay!" I call out. I turn back to Tori, and her face is flushed. We both start giggling, but it's a nervous laughter. We need to be more careful.

"Have you decided on an outfit?" Tori asks.

"Yeah… this will do. I know that he's in my mind… but I'd hate to show him that." I sigh.

"Good for you, Cat." Tori smiles. "You've come a long way, you know?"

"Thanks… I just hope I don't lose all my progress today." I mumble. She moves forward slightly so I catch her movements, and then she kisses me on the forehead. "Well, let's… get this over with." I groan.

"I'll be with you every step of the way." Tori assures me.

"I'm sorry you're so involved." I apologize. Tori has to stand witness, since she heard the incident and was with me immediately afterwards.

"Anything to help get this psycho behind bars." Tori shrugs, grabbing her bag and handing me mine. She holds out her hand and I grasp it, firmly. I don't want to let it go, and I don't. Even when heading downstairs to see my mom.

"Honey, I'm so sorry I won't be there, but I'm in really no shape to go anywhere." My mom frowns on a recliner chair, used tissues littered everywhere and a steamer right nearby. I wrinkle my nose.

"It's okay, mom. I understand." I say.

"No, it's not. You're my daughter, and we should be there the day that justice is served for what happened to our baby. You know your father would be there too if it wasn't for-"

"The promotion, I know." I state. "It's fine, mom. I'll be okay." I assure her. She looks to Tori.

"Look after my daughter?" She pleads weakly.

"With every fibre of my being." Tori nods, squeezing my hand. I smile sweetly at her.

"Okay. Good luck. Call me as soon as it's over." My mom says.

"Bye mom. I love you. Feel better." I say, turning away with Tori.

"Love you too, dear."

On our way there, I notice Tori's arms are very rigid on the steering wheel. "Nervous?" I ask. As if I can talk. I haven't stopped shaking since getting in the car.

"To be honest, yeah. I'm afraid I'll say something wrong and screw you over." Tori admits.

"If that happens, we can just perform a random song and dance to distract them." I joke, trying to lighten the mood. Tori laughs, so it works.

"Great. Take A Hint?" Tori suggests.

"Slightly fitting. Yes." I giggle. I think we're both a little more relaxed now. I check my phone to see a bunch of encouraging messages.

Robbie – _Good luck Cat! Rex says good luck too. Actually, he doesn't but I'm trying to be polite for him._

Andre – _Lil Red, you'll be just fine. I'm pulling for you. _

Beck – _Guys like him give an awful name to other guys out there. I'm glad you're going to get him off the streets. Be cool, Cat. _

Nothing from Jade. That's a little disappointing, but maybe she just forgot the day. I feel the car stop and look up from my phone. We're here. I start scrambling to get out of the car.

"Whoa, Cat." Tori says, getting out of the car calmly. "Suddenly raring to go?"

"I don't want to run into him in the parking-lot." I explain, darting my eyes around.

"My dad said he'll have a police escort. It's fine. But I get it. Come on." Tori says, and she leads me into the building.

The courtroom isn't what I expected. It's not like what I saw on Legally Blonde or anything. Just a big blank room with chairs set up and a long table the front. There's a door on either side of the room. I sit up at the front, and Tori heads to the "witness section" of my side. Tori's dad is there, as well as a jury, some security, the two lawyers and, to my despair, Derek's parents. I don't make eye contact with them, but it looks like his mom is crying. They were such sweet people.

"Cat Valentine?" The man beside me asks. He must be my lawyer.

"Yes." I confirm.

"My, your parents were right. Your hair is quite red." He extends a hand. "Harvey Leno, lawyer. But you may call me Harv." He introduces. I tentatively shake his hand. Good, no anxiety there. "Were you briefed on how today will work?" He asks.

"Mhm." I say nervously.

"Great. Don't worry kid, this case will be easy. Just answer any questions honestly and try not to run from the room hysterically." Harv tries to joke. I smile to humour him.

"I'll try."

"Wonderful. You'll be out of here in no time. And don't worry, your parents and I go way back." He assures me. I give a nod. I'm glad my parents know him.

"We'll be starting in a few minutes." A man up at the table announces. I feel a buzz in my bag. I should really turn that off. I pull my phone out quickly and a small smile forms on my face.

Jade – _Kick his ass, Cat._

I shut off my phone just in time. The back door opens and two officers step in, followed by the person I never wanted to see ever again. I whip my head forward, but I can feel his eyes on me. I start breathing heavily, trying not to think about it. Their footsteps get closer, and then they're walking right by me. Everything in me screaming to run. I can't even turn to look at Tori. I feel like if I move, I'll lose it. But I know she's watching me.

"Rise for his honour, Judge Foreman."

My legs are shaky as I slowly stand up, and a heavy-set man with a judge's robe enters from the door at the front. He takes his seat, and I'm grateful, as I don't know how much longer my legs could have held up. The judge looks over some papers.

"Okay, we are here today to oversee the trial of Derek Merritt, accused of sexual assault upon a minor, Caterina 'Cat' Valentine. Mr. Merritt is counter-accusing Ms. Valentine of false accusations, slander and emotional turmoil." The judge looks up and between the two of us. He frowns looking at me. I must look sick to my stomach. "Court is now in session."

A man beside the judge begins to speak. "Officer David Vega will now give a case report."

Tori's dad walks up to the front and angles himself so he's facing us, the jury and the judge. He start's to recount my story in a time-line of events. I'm not listening. I should be, but I'm so anxious I can't focus. My heart is beating so fast I can feel it in my brain. I finally look over at Tori. Her smile is so kind, and genuine. It starts to melt my heart. I would do anything to throw myself into her arms right now.

"The defense would like to call Cat Valentine to the stand." I hear. I jump in surprise.

"Go on, kid. Just like I said. Be honest." Harv urges. I slowly stand up and walk over to a seat beside the table where the judge is sitting at. It's almost impossible to not see Derek while sitting here. I have to un-focus my eyes so that he's just a blur. A terrifying blur. I tremble out my vows. Great. I already sound so sure of myself. Derek's lawyer stands in front of me, but he's slightly off to the side so I can still see the Derek blur. I don't know if he's doing it on purpose, but if he is… that wazz-hole.

"Ms. Valentine. Is it true you've accused my client of rape?" The lawyer asks. I go to speak, but my mouth is dry. I desperately try to moisten it, but the blur is coming into focus rapidly. I can almost see the details of his eyes. Those eyes I looked into so many times. "Ms. Valentine?"

I hang my head low, unable to say anything. I'm about to lose it. I wasn't ready for this.

"Can we get the girl some water?" The judge requests. The next thing I know a small cup of water is being shoved under my nose. I drink it gingerly. "Are we ready to proceed?" The judge asks me.

"Yes, your honour." I choke out weakly. My eyes lock with Tori's. She gives me a reassuring nod.

"Very well. Answer the question." The judge says.

"Yes. Yes I've accused him of raping me." I state.

"And what would make you say that?" The lawyer asks.

"…The fact that he raped me." I answer dryly.

"Ms. Valentine, my client claims you two merely had a fight, and in order to get back at him, you accused him of rape." The lawyer says. "What do you think of that?"

I'm still looking at Tori so I see her grimace. It probably matches my expression. "I'd say that's ridiculous."

"Ms. Valentine, my client was a star on the football team, top of his class, well-liked by many of his peers and teachers, and was valedictorian. My client has no record of violence or sexual assault. It seems very unlikely that he would harm anyone, let alone his own girlfriend." The lawyer argues. My face twists into a sour expression. Oh, now I was his girlfriend? "This has gone on long enough, and if you would simply admit that the accusation was made out of spite, then you both can move on with your lives."

"He _raped _me." I growl.

"Maybe you are simply confused about the term? What did he do to you that you would consider rape?" The lawyer asks.

"Objection, your honour. Is this appropriate?" Harv demands, standing.

"It's important to know if the girl is confused before we continue." Derek's lawyer argues.

"Objection over-ruled. But try to be sensitive." The judge announces.

"Yes, your honour. You see, Ms. Valentine, if he simply kissed you in a way you were uncomfortable with or brushed by you accidently-"

"He hit me. He grabbed me. He slammed me against a bed while he… he… _entered _me. Repeatedly. After I had made it clear several times that I didn't want it. It was rape." I glower. Tears are stinging my eyes, but now I'm too angry to be scared. There's a hushed murmur amongst the jury.

"I have been informed that, despite your claims, no DNA evidence could be extracted from your body at the hospital that would match my client's. What is your response to that?" The lawyer asks. I glance back at Tori. Her hands are clenched tight at the sides of her chair, knuckles white. So she's as angry as I am.

"I got cleaned up afterwards. I'm sorry but I didn't want to feel **him **all over me." I snap. I swear, it almost looks like Derek smirks. I dig my nails into my arm. I'm getting overwhelmed.

"People of the jury, your honour, are you aware that Ms. Valentine may not be entirely sane? I have evidence to support that she was held in the hospital psychiatric ward." The lawyer announces.

"Objection. I have a statement from the hospital claiming that that was their mistake." Harv declares.

"May I see it?" The judge asks. Harv pulls a paper out of his file and walks it to the judge. He looks it over and nods. "The statement is clear." The judge states. Harv smiles at me as he heads back to his seat.

"Perhaps, but we cannot ignore Ms. Valentine's criminal past." The lawyer continues. Criminal past? "My sources say that Caterina Valentine was incarcerated in a prison in the country of Yerba, and that there are no records of being released, alluding to her very illegal escape!" He concludes. Tori and I gasp. Seriously?!

"That wasn't my fault!" I scoff.

"Objection! Yerba has since disbanded as a country and therefore any political matters my client may have been involved in with said country are now obsolete!" Harv argues.

"This is true. Whatever Ms. Valentine's incarceration may have entailed has no legal standing." The judge agrees. Wow, good lawyer. Although, I'm a little sad to hear Yerba disbanded. It was a horrible place, but I heard a rumour that I was being printed on their money.

"Perhaps it has no legal standing, but the idea that this girl, accusing a man of no criminal background, was once herself contained in a prison and then possibly escaped – that has social standing." The lawyer finishes, looking at the jury. "No further questions." I glare at him as he sits down, but I catch Derek's eye and quickly whip my head back to look at Tori.

"Your honour I'd like to ask my client some questions." Harv requests.

"Proceed." The judge says. Harv comes up to me, smiling politely.

"In detail that you are comfortable with, can you describe the physical abuse Mr. Merritt did to you the day of the incident?" Harv asks. I take a deep breath.

"He punched me, giving me a black eye. He also slapped me across the face multiple times, left bruises on my chest and arms from roughly grabbing me, and caused… strain on my arms and legs." I gulp, slowly describing what I remember.

"Your honour I have pictures and another hospital statement from the day of the incident." Harv says.

"Let's see them." The judge requests. Harv hands over a stack of papers. I catch a flash of my face, beaten and bruised. I'd forgotten how bad I looked. How broken I looked. Tori was right, I've come a long way. I can get through this.

"No further questions." Harv states.

"The prosecutor may step down from the stand." The judge announces. Oh, thank god. It takes everything in me to simply sit down back on my seat and not just sprint to Tori.

"I'd like to call Derek Merritt to the stand." Harv announces. Great. I can't relax yet. I see him saunter up. I wonder if this is all part of the game to him, too. Again, as he sits down and turns around, I just want to run. I dig my nails into my legs, fighting the urge. I am going to have so many crescent moon imprints on my skin after this. "Mr. Merritt, what was my client to you?"

"My girlfriend. I loved her with all my heart." Derek says smoothly. Oh god, that voice. I'm half-surprised it's not the demonic voice I've been hearing in my dreams. I let out an audible squeak and he looks over at me. I feel my anxiety rising.

"Cat." I barely hear from Tori. I look over, and she has the most caring, comforting and absolutely loving look on her face. She nods at me again, telling me I'm doing fine.

"What were you doing with her the day the accusation was made?" Harv asks.

"We were watching football on TV. I was talking about winning the state championship last year. She seemed interested, so I asked if she wanted to see my trophy. Maybe that's… where she got the 'rape' idea. The innuendo." Derek explains. I scowl at his explanation. So rehearsed. I know a truthful performance now, and this isn't one. "I brought her to my room where my trophy is. Before I could show her, she saw my phone and asked if she could see it. I said no, that she should trust me. She flipped out, broke a bobble-head, went ballistic on my face and arms, and then was picked up by her friend." He shoots a look at Tori. You don't deserve to look upon her. "Next thing I knew, police were knocking on my door and I didn't know why."

"How do you explain the multiple face lacerations on my client's body?" Harv interrogates.

"I don't know." Derek shrugs. "They weren't there when she left. She goes to a school for the arts, right? Maybe movie make-up?"

"I can confirm that Ms. Valentine did take a make-up course at her high school." Derek's lawyer adds.

"Over-ruled. The doctor's statement confirms the contusions were real." The judge states.

"Then maybe she got her friend to do it. I don't know why. I didn't know she'd be so crazy." Derek sighs. How _dare _he allude that Tori would ever physically hurt me! I mean… I've hit her twice now and I'd probably deserve it but still! Harv gives Derek a hard stare.

"My client may have cleaned her body off after the attack, but her clothes were saved. Clothes that we're stained with blood containing _your_ DNA. There's your DNA evidence." Harv announces, holding another paper in the air.

"May I see?" The judge asks, holding out his hand. Harv hands the paper over and nods looking at it.

"Objection! That proves nothing!" Derek's lawyer comments.

"Yeah! Like I said, she went ballistic on me over nothing. She broke my nose and scratched me up pretty bad. I just stood there and took it. She's lucky I didn't charge her for assault." Derek huffs.

"Your honour I also have pictures and a medical statement proving my clients words." Derek's lawyer offers. He hands some papers over to the judge. "That proves where the blood came from. But it doesn't prove that my client raped anyone."

"It just proves that Cat is emotionally unstable and violent." Derek mutters darkly. Ouch. Harv gives him another hard stare.

"No further questions." Harv states. Oh, come on, Harv. No. Don't give up.

"The defense?" The judge asks.

"No questions." The lawyer shakes his head. I chance a look at Derek. He's smirking. He won this round.

"The defense may leave the stand." He looks at me as he gets up, but I don't turn away this time. I won't give him the satisfaction. I want him to stare at me in my broken eyes and remember what he did to me. He continues to smirk, and seems unaffected. I want to puke.

"I call the witness, Victoria Vega, to the stand." Harv announces. That's right! Tori! She's my last chance… I give her a pleading look as she walks by me. She looks so nervous… After she gives her vow, she looks at me with a determined look. I don't know if that means she won't let me down, or if I should break into Take A Hint now. "Did you pick up my client from Mr. Merritt's house?"

"Yes, I did." Tori answers.

"What did you observe?"

"As soon as I pulled up to the house, Cat was running out, no shoes on, her shirt ripped, blood down her legs and on her face and chest… Derek was standing in the doorway as I pulled away. His… erection was still out." Tori describes. I gasp lightly. I didn't think about it from her perspective. That must've been horrible for her to see.

"Why were you picking my client up from Mr. Merritt's that day?" Harv asks. Tori takes a deep breath.

"Cat called me. But when I picked up, she didn't answer. I did hear Derek, though. I heard what he was saying. It didn't take me long to figure out what was going on. I quickly hopped in my car with the phone still on speaker." Tori recalls.

"And you recorded this call?" Harv asks.

"Yes, I did."

"And I have a copy here from the police department. Mind if I play it?" Harv asks. Tori shakes her head. I look over at Derek and his lawyer to see their awestruck faces. Satisfaction. But… wait. This means I have to hear the tape?

Harv places it in a stereo and presses play. Oh. No.

**I don't do art. I don't know who drew that. It was all a ploy to get in your pants.**

**No… you're lying…**

**Get it through your thick skull, bitch. Girls are like a game to me.**

The tape continues to play. His voice from that awful day replays, explaining how he lied to me. How I was a challenge for him. How he cheated on me. How he tried to drug me. I can't stand hearing it again. I look at Tori. Her eyes are closed shut. She's hating hearing it again, too. I want to crawl into a ball, pretend I'm not here. But I have to remember this is exactly what will put Derek out of my life forever. Just a little longer…

**Actually, that was the night I first realized I wouldn't be able to get you through normal means. I saw the way you were with that Tori girl. That's when I knew. You want her, not me. Isn't that right, you little dyke. **

My eyes shoot to Tori's. I forgot she had heard that. She's blushing faintly, and looks at her dad. I look too. He seems unaffected, too appalled at what he's hearing. Tori had realized her feelings for me at the time… She must've thought Derek was just being insane, since she was so surprised when I returned her feelings.

**Sometimes, you just have to take what you want by force.**

And then it starts. The crashing. My sobbing and screaming. The hitting. His cursing. I start to sob in the present, clapping my hands over my ears. Tori's crying, too.

"That's enough!" The judge yells. "I've heard enough." He states. Harv quickly stops the tape, looking apologetically at me and Tori. I remove my hands from my ears, my sobbing quieting down. I'm upset about having to relive it through sound, yes, but I'm also heartbroken that _that_ is what Tori had to hear. Had to hear again.

The small consolation is that Derek and his lawyer are panic stricken.

"Objection! This proves nothing. That tape could have been tampered through computer technology to make it sound like my client!" The lawyer argues.

"The phone record checks out." Harv says, handing the paper over with the record. The judge looks it over for a moment.

"Over-ruled." The judge states. "The witness may step down."

Tori walks past me, giving a small smile. She looks paler than I've ever seen before. I probably don't look much better. How I'm even conscious right now is a mystery to me.

"I rule that Derek Merritt is guilty of sexual assault, statutory rape of the first degree." The judge announces. "I sentence him to ten years in state prison, no bail." The judge hits his gavel. That's it. I hear his mom cry out. I try not to think about that. I glance up at Derek, who is now being cuffed by some officers. He sees me. There's a terrifying glint in his eye and I become all too aware that he is much bigger than any of the officers around him.

It happens quickly. Derek elbows a cop in the gut and shakes off the other. He bounds forward towards me, a murderous look in his eye. I stand up, petrified. It's like my dream, except I'm on the receiving end. In a flash of brown hair, Tori's standing in front of me, arm out stretched protectively. Now it's exactly like my dream. I can't move. I can't comprehend what's about to happen. I can't…

Tori's dad tackles Derek to the ground last second. The other officers are on him immediately, pinning Derek down and attempting to cuff him again. Derek thrashes around wildly, practically foaming at the mouth. He looks past Tori, straight into my eyes. Into my soul. He smiles a wicked grin. That horrible look of lust.

"Come on, boys. These lovely ladies won the tower from us." He hisses. My blood runs cold. The officers hoist him up and guide him away carefully, not taking any more chances. Even after he's out of sight, Tori still stands protectively in front of me, arm-stretched, shaking, breathing heavily. Eventually she turns around to look into my shell-shocked face.

"Oh my god, Cat, are you okay?" She asks. I don't respond. I just stare blankly. It's like my body has shut down. "Cat…?"

The next thing I'm aware of is everything getting fuzzy and my legs giving out beneath me as I fall forward into Tori. Everything goes black as I hear her scream.

"Cat!"

* * *

"Do you think she needs to go to the hospital?"

"No, no. This is pretty common after a stressful situation. I've seen it before. She's just passed out from shock and probably emotional exhaustion."

"Are you sure? Because her parents will kill me if anything bad happens to her."

"Believe me, my daughter would kill me for the same reason. I checked it out. She didn't hit her head thanks to Tori catching her. She'll just have to shake it off."

"Okay… I need to talk to the judge, and call her parents to let them know the outcome."

The voices are fuzzy. I'm not sure where I am. Everything feels kind of heavy. I think I recognize the voices. One is Mr. Vega for sure. The other I think is Harv. Those must be his footsteps getting fainter… that's right. The trial. Why am I sleeping?

"Dad… She hasn't moved." Tori's worried voice reaches my ears. She's close – right next to me.

"She'll come around. Just keep watching her. I need to call the prison, see if they successfully transferred… that…" Mr. Vega's voice sputters. "I swear. After all my years of work on the force, it never fails to shock me what kind of monsters are out there. How could someone do this to such a sweet girl?"

"I don't know, dad. It makes me feel sick." Tori sniffs. She's been crying.

"You did great today, Tori. She'll be safe now." Her dad reassures.

"Thanks."

"Give her this when she wakes up. I'll be back later." And then he leaves.

I start to become a bit more aware. I can smell Tori's perfume. I can feel her hand of top of mine. But I'm still confused about why I'm "passed out". Or why I can't respond.

"Cat…" Tori sighs. "You can wake up now. Derek's gone. He'll never bother you again."

That's right. Derek. He was coming right after me… after Tori. But Tori seems fine. I'm the one who couldn't handle the stress. I start to feel her run her other hand softly across my forehead and over my hair line. Mmm. Feels good…

"You were so strong today. I don't blame you for shutting down like that. I can't imagine how that must've been for you. You deserve a rest. And ice cream." Tori says. Aww, she's always so understanding. Did she say ice cream?

"Nn… T…ori?" I mumble out, slowly opening my eyes. Whoa. World spinning.

"Cat? It's me. I'm here." Tori says quickly, grasping my hand tighter. "How are you feeling?" She asks. I'm squinting, trying to get a hold of my surroundings.

"Dizzy." I weakly answer. "I feel like I'm going to puke."

"Oh. Uh, do you need a bucket? Is there a garbage bin around here? Oh god." Tori rambles. She's starting to come into focus, looking around frantically.

"Hold on." I murmur, close my eyes again. I wait for the nausea to go away before I open my eyes again. Tori is looking at me with big, doting eyes.

"Better?" She asks.

"A bit. What happened?" I ask, though I have a good idea.

"You… fainted. Right after the trial." Tori explains.

"Oh." I sigh. That's what I thought.

"Want to try sitting up?" Tori asks.

"Okay." I answer. I feel her slip her hand under my head to support it. I'm grateful. My head's like a brick. Slowly and with a groan, I hoist myself up. I have another dizzy spell and have to collect myself.

"Still feel sick?" Tori asks. I merely nod. Her brow furrows with sympathy for a second. "Oh, right. Here, my dad said to give you this." Tori hands me a juice box. Grape Punch. "I guess it'll help."

"Thanks." I mumble. I carefully break the straw out of the little packet and punch it through the hole. I sip at it slowly. I feel the sugar start to help almost immediately, clearing my head. I look around. I'm still in the courthouse, sitting on some bench in the hallway. Tori is sitting next to me, looking ready to catch me at any moment if I faint again. "Is… Is it over?" I ask.

"The trial? Yes. And he's gone. Locked up where he belongs." Tori says assuredly. I lean over, placing my head on her shoulder. She cradles my head as she hooks her arm around to stroke the side of my head and hair line. Yep. Still feels good.

"I'm happy about that. Extremely. But… I feel like this will never be really over for me." I admit solemnly. Tori lets out a sigh that tickles my ear.

"I can't predict the future. But I can tell you this is a big step to moving on. And I'll be with you every step of the way." Tori promises. I nod slightly.

Maybe I really can finally put it behind me now. With Tori, my parents, my friends, Sikowitz, Lane… I have the best support group in the world. I feel with the case closed on my assault, the whole thing can just be history. But senior year starts next week, and I'm not that lucky.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Yay, justice. And an ominous last line alluding to the next chapter. Oooo! I had a hard time writing this chapter... like, really hard. I was hating every minute of it, but probably just because I felt so in the dark about how trials work. I hope it doesn't show too much. I liked writing the last part. **

**To be real and unprofessional for a minute, I'm having a hard time writing lately. Believe me, it's not because I'm becoming disinterested in the story - if that was the case, I wouldn't be attempting to write it at all. I've been going through... things, health wise, and it's sort of sapping my motivation. I've been keeping a steady stream of posting every other day, and I'm starting to worry I might not be able to keep that up at this point. I'll try my best, but I'm really, _really _sorry if I have to push a posting back a few days. You guys have been great. I'm so happy you're reading this and enjoying it. You're reviews and kind words mean the world to me, so I'll be doing my best to make sure I get new chapters to you in the same quality you have enjoyed thus far. **

**Fun Fact: Not a very fun fact, but I wanted to talk about why Derek is named Derek. My roommate dated a Derek last year - he was an absolute jerk to her, and treated her as if she was just an option while telling her differently. I hated that guy. It's not as bad as THIS Derek, but I still felt enough anger at this guy to give his name to the antagonist of the first half of this story. Not that all Dereks are bad. I know some nice Dereks. But this one is solely based on my roommate's Derek. She's dating a wonderful guy now, by the way. And then "Merritt" is just ironic because it's a pun off of "merit" meaning being worthy, which Derek definitely isn't worthy of Cat. God, this was a long Author's Note.**


	17. Shouts and Whispers

**Author's Note: So, this chapter will include some pretty sensitive content (as if that's new to this story). It's based of some pretty current events, and it may offend some people so, I'm sorry if I offend you. However, I also feel it's important to address that this takes place, and here is my depiction of it happening from Cat's perspective. **

**Disclaimer: Could I like... buy Victorious? Is that a thing that can happen? Can I just call Nickelodeon up and be like, hi, I will buy Victorious from you to give it a final, one hour special as closure. Know what that final special would entail? Cat and Tori ending up together. Then for the rest of Sam & Cat, Cat would always refer to Tori as "my girlfriend". Oh, if only... Maybe I should do a fund raiser. **

* * *

"This is **ridiculous**!" Trina screams, tearing across the front hall, followed by an irritated Tori. "I shouldn't be here right now. I should be off kick-starting my very promising career! People should be measuring the sidewalk to put in a star with my name on it!"

"Where? On skid row?" Jade smirks, sauntering over from her locker. Trina shoots her a glare but Jade gives it right back.

"Well _maybe _if you had passed all your courses the first time and gotten all your credits, you wouldn't still be here and you'd be out of my happy place." Tori huffs.

"I don't get why I didn't pass with flying colours. The teachers here must be biased." Trina grumbles, but then her eyes go wide. "Or maybe they're just jealous! They can't stand that a student is more talented than them so they held me back out of spite!"

"Yeah, _that's _what happened." Jade rolls her eyes.

"And now I have to be in the same classes as my less talented baby sister!" Trina whines.

"You think I'm happy about that either?" Tori groans. Jade's eyes light up.

"So… wait… your sister's presence at this school causes you distress?" Jade asks Tori.

"Kind of, yeah." Tori sighs. Jade slaps a smile on her face.

"Glad to have you back, Vega." Jade says directly to Trina and then walks off. Trina lets out a shriek before stomping off, leaving Tori in the middle of the hall looking slightly distraught. She hasn't noticed I'm here yet. Girlfriend time.

"Welcome back, Tori." I giggle, coming up behind her. She jumps a bit, whipping around with a large smile on her face.

"Cat!" She exclaims. "I'm about to hug you so bad!" She warns excitedly.

"Please do." I chuckle, readying myself. Tori flings herself towards me, wrapping her arms around me and I do the same back to her. She rocks me quickly and I giggle, gently pushing her back. She was used to this, and took no offence. Derek's gone, but he left a mark on me that I'm still fighting to remove, or at least tolerate. When she pulls back I make up for it by giving her a sweet, lingering kiss. I retract and she's beaming. "I thought I was supposed to be the perky one." I giggle.

"Sorry. It's just… The thing with Trina… and… but then you! And I remembered, I get to start the year with you as my girlfriend, so it can't be that bad." Tori rambles. I blush and giggle, cradling her hands in mine.

"I'm glad I could make your day a little brighter!" I smile.

"You always do." Tori chuckles. Smiling wider, I give her another kiss, which she returns. It's now that I'm aware that people passing in the hall have begun to watch us curiously, having taken notice of our shared kisses. Tori notices them noticing, and I can see her grow anxious.

"Tori, it's fine." I smile sympathetically.

"Are you sure?" She frowns.

"Yes." I giggle, and then grow serious. "We talked about this. We wouldn't keep it hidden at school." I state. I understand her fears… it's not like I haven't thought about it myself, and the ridicule we might receive. But we're not the first gay couple at Hollywood Arts. It's still not very common, but it's a very open minded school, and people can feel free to be whoever they want – date whoever they want. I guess it's different for me and Tori because we're kind of well-known in the school and in the limelight with the rest of our friends. It's like we're celebrities, or TV show characters.

Haha, that'd be weird.

"I know. Just, maybe we can keep the PDA to a minimum?" Tori requests. I smile, stepping away from her.

"Kay, kay." I agree. If she was being patient with my insecurities, I would be patient with hers.

"Thanks." Tori smiles. The bell rings, filling the halls. "Off to Sikowitz?"

"To Sikowitz!" I proclaim, sticking my index in the air for effect. I skip off to class, Tori following behind me chuckling.

* * *

Sikowitz was still his usual, crazy self. Thankfully he didn't mention the little fiasco at the mall, but he did give me and Tori a knowing look. That made us blush. I have almost all my classes with Tori this semester, so we were able to leave second period and go to lunch together. When we got to the table, Jade, Beck and Robbie were already there.

"I'm just saying, maybe you shouldn't have scared the chiz out of those freshmen." Beck scolds Jade.

"They were in our table." Jade states dryly.

"They didn't know it was 'our table'. And would it be so horrible if we sat at a different table for once?" Beck asks.

"Hey, it's my senior year. I should get to sit wherever I want. This table is in the shade. You know how I like shade." Jade says seductively. Beck clears his throat uncomfortably. "Besides, I did those freshmen a favour. There are rules here. They should know who to fear."

"Hiiii!" I greet happily as Tori and I sit down.

"Hi guys." Robbie smiles.

"You two still macking on each other?" Rex asks. Ew.

"Rex! That's rude!" Robbie gasps.

"Uh… sure?" Tori says uncomfortably.

"Heh heh… alriiiiight!" Rex says sheepishly. Tori and I wrinkle our noses in disgust. Gross puppet.

"Yeah… so anyway, how was everyone's weekend?" Tori changes the subject.

"Hold on, is it just me or is everyone staring at this table?" Robbie observes.

"They can't have it." Jade growls.

"I don't think that's it…" Beck notes. It's true. Almost everyone is looking at our table and whispering to each other.

"What's up with everyone?" Tori ponders.

"Maybe they found out about your relationship. Word travels fast." Beck shrugs. Tori's face glows a bit pink. As I'm looking at everyone, I'm meeting everyone's eyes and they quickly look away. Something doesn't add up.

"But wait… They're not looking at me and Tori." I pause. "They're just looking at me."

"Cat's right." Jade agrees, glaring at everyone around us. I'm used to people staring at me for doing weird things, but I didn't do anything weird in like… the last five minutes. Did I?

"I wonder why?" Tori says.

"I think I might know." Andre comes up to the table holding his PearPad. "Cat, when was the last time you checked your Slap page?"

"Over the weekend, I think. Why?" I ask. Andre has an uneasy look on his face.

"Maybe… you should take a look." He says, hesitantly handing over the PearPad. I grab it and hold it in front of me. My profile is on the screen, and there's a ton of new comments. I start scrolling through them and gasp. My heart starts to shatter.

_Why would you lie about Derek like that? He was the sweetest guy! You bitch!_

_You're a slut. You probably asked for it and denied it later._

_You ruined his life you whore. I hope you're happy._

_Me and my buds are going to find you and rape you for real. See how you like that._

_Fuck you!_

_You should be in jail for what you've done to Derek. Even if he did rape you, calm your tits. It's not a big deal. You should've just enjoyed it. _

There's hundreds more like those. Most are from Northridge, but there are other's getting in on the hate as well. I feel sick to my stomach, and push the PearPad away from me on the table. Worried, Tori takes it and starts reading it.

"I'm sorry, Lil Red. I thought you should know." Andre says softly. I can't even say anything. Tori's eyes darken as her eyes flit across the screen.

"What is this shit?" Tori demands.

"You tell me." Jade says.

"There are a bunch of… of… _skunkbags _commenting on Cat's page telling her that the rape was her fault, or that she was lying, and even worse things." Tori glowers. I see a flash of anger go through Jade's eyes, but then it's gone and she seems calm.

"What? Seriously?" Robbie gasps. I nod sadly, eyes downcast.

"That's uncool. Who do I have to beat up?" Beck says scathingly.

"I'm with you, man, but it's not that simple. There's more coming in every second. Too many people to throw down with." Andre sighs. Tori angles her body towards me.

"Honey, are you okay?" She asks with concern. I still can't answer.

"Hey Cat." Jade's voice reaches me. My eyes immediately snap up at her. This is the first time she's addressed me in weeks. "A bunch of people being ganks on the internet. What are you going to do?"

"I… I don't know." I choke out. Jade rolls her eyes.

"Oh, come on. You're really going to just sit there and take it? Grow a back bone." Jade snaps.

"Jade." Beck glares at her.

"No, Beck. I'm tired of her little innocent submissive attitude." Jade argue. Her words hurt, but I feel myself getting angry.

"Jade, back off." Tori growls.

"Stay out of this, Vega. This is between me and Cat. You aren't helping." Jade sneers. And, I'm done.

"Why do you even care, Jade?! You thought he only cheated on me and you were ready to break his skull. But when you found out he raped me, you didn't even _care_. You didn't pay any attention to me for weeks! And now I'm getting a bunch of backlash, and you just sit there and insult me. I always knew you could be a bit mean, Jade. But this… this is just _cruel_!" I shout at her. She clicks her tongue.

"Yeah, and again, what are you going to do about it?" Jade asks. I'm at a loss. I can't do anything to Jade. She'd rip me apart.

"… Nothing." I mumble. Jade stands up, looking furious. Tori stands up, too.

"See, this is what I'm tired of! You not defending yourself. Letting people get to you too easily. Fuck, Cat. If you don't toughen up you're always going to end up getting hurt. Being a little pansy is just going to get you raped again!" Jade's words hit me like a whip. I let out a squeak before I run from the table crying. People stare at me as I run by. I hear a bit of a commotion behind me but I don't look back. I just keep running.

I don't know why I always end up in the janitor's closet. It just seems like the place to go. I sit in the corner, crying into my sleeve. Why would Jade say those things to me? We were always decently close. She helped me out a lot during the Tori thing. Despite her cold demeanor, I always knew she cared. She was a friend you could count on. But this… this was just wildly uncharacteristic. Jade has insulted me before, but at the end of the day she'd do anything for me. What happened? After crying for a while and trying to figure it out, the door slowly opens.

"Cat?"

It's Tori. She notices me right away in the corner, not that I'm hard to miss because of my crying. "Oh, Cat…" She quickly stoops down beside me. "Come here." She opens her arms and I waste no time snuggling into her. I continue to cry into her shoulder, hoping she won't mind the wet part of my tears. After a while, I start to calm down into just a few hiccups. "Jade… that gank." Tori mumbles into my hair.

"There… has to be more to it. She wouldn't… not normally…" I croak between sobs.

"I honestly can't believe it either. Jade's bitter, but she's not evil." Tori sighs. "Whatever she's going through, it doesn't excuse what she said to you."

"What if she's right?" I cry. "What if they're all right? So many people blaming me…" I start to sob again.

"Don't you dare. You're way past this, Cat. Jade… those people on The Slap… they must have a very warped sense of reality if they think any of what happened is your fault. They couldn't possibly understand. Don't let them get to you. You're better than all of them." Tori assures me.

"This is so stupid. He's in jail. I should be moving on from this." I choke.

"I know." Tori whispers. She starts to rub my back soothingly, making me calm down a bit more. After a bit longer of staying in Tori's arms, the rising image of Derek becomes a bit overbearing and the circumstances don't help, so I have to pull away. I go to hold her hand but she winces.

"Tori… your hand…" I note, confused. Her knuckles are red and purple.

"Yeah. I, uh… may have punched Jade after you left." Tori admits. My eyes go wide.

"You punched Jade!?" I exclaim.

"Seems like it…" Tori mutters, observing her hand. Despite my anxiety, I leap on her with another hug.

"But… I don't want you to die!" I whimper.

"She deserved it." Tori states. "I'm not a violent person but… she had it coming."

"You're right. I did." Comes a voice from the doorway. Jade. Tori pulls me to herself protectively.

"Get out. You've done enough." Tori glares.

"Just… relax, Tori. I need to talk to Cat alone." Jade requests. We're both slightly taken aback by the use of Tori's first name, but Tori is unflinching.

"As if you have _any right-_"

"I'm sorry, okay?! I fucked up. I just… I need to set things right. Please?" Jade asks. Tori looks at me and I nod. She releases me and slowly gets up.

"Alright. But I'll be right outside the door." Tori warns.

"Fine." Jade nods. Tori leaves, giving me one last longing look before closing the door. I stand up and we stare at each other awkwardly for a moment. Jade furrows her brow, as if trying to find the words to begin with.

"Are you going to hurt Tori for hitting you?" I sniff. The side of Jade's jaw was already bruising, and this time it wasn't make-up.

"No. Like I said, she was right. I deserved it. I deserved to get hit harder, actually, but Vega's a little too weak-"

"Jade…"

"But it was enough to knock some sense into me. What I said… how I acted… it was way out of line." Jade sighs. "Definitely not any way to treat a friend."

"Why would you do and say those things in the first place?" I ask. "And no icy exterior or sarcasm. I want the full truth."

"I guess I owe you that much, huh?" Jade says. I nod slightly. "Well, alright. I know this is hard to believe, especially after today, but I do have a soul." Jade explains. "And when Vega told us what happened to you… what really happened to you… I let it get to me in ways you can't even imagine."

"But you seemed like you didn't care at all." I point out.

"That was… a defense mechanism. The thing is, I cared too much. I couldn't handle the emotions around what happened to you. Imagining anybody _daring _to hurt someone as innocent as you like that." Jade continues. I furrow my brow.

"So you did care?" I ask.

"Of course. I just didn't show it. You see…" Jade trails off, sighing. "What I'm about to tell you, you can't repeat. Not even to Vega. Okay?" Jade says. I feel weird about keeping something from my girlfriend, but Jade seems serious.

"Okay." I agree.

"Alright… you see, it all started when I was younger. Much younger. You can say… what happened to you hit close to home. I can sort of relate." Jade admits. I give a small gasp.

"Did something happen to you?" I ask softly. Jade bites her lip, nodding.

"I mean, it's nowhere near as bad or extreme as what happened to you, but…" She trails off, taking a deep breath. I wait patiently. "I had an experience… I was at a fair with my parents. I lost them in the crowd and I started crying. This man came up to me and said he'd help me find my parents. So I followed him and he…" Jade gulps. "I was molested."

"Jade I'm so sorry." I pout. I never knew this about Jade, through all the years of knowing her. It must be hard talking about it now.

"I was young at the time, right? I didn't know how to deal. I didn't have the support you have. I grew up feeling guilty and dirty. So I dealt with it the only way I knew how… I closed myself off from my feelings." Jade explains. "I guess it leaked into my personality and… here I am."

"How awful…" I frown.

"Long story short, I hate fairs now. It seems almost stupid stacking it up to what happened to you." Jade shrugs. "And when I found out about you… it all came rushing back. I blamed you for not toughening yourself up to keep yourself away from that kind of experience. I blamed myself for doting on you all these years like some sort of mother and not helping your case."

"It's not anybody's fault but his." I mumble. Jade nods.

"Of course. I know that, now. It was just so much easier to go back into an old way of thinking. Thinking that if you were more like me, it wouldn't have happened." Jade says. "But you know what? I'm glad you're not like me. I'm glad you're able to move on from this experience with a smile on your face. You shouldn't have to close yourself off to the world and put up impenetrable walls."

"I'm sorry that has happened to you." I say.

"I don't mind it, now." Jade shrugs. "If I didn't like the way I am, I would change it. What happened to me sucks, but everything happens for a reason. It was wrong of me to try to change you – to make you deal with it in the same way I did. And for that, I'm sorry." Jade states.

"Don't be that mean again." I frown.

"Well, no promises. I admit I can be a complete gank. But I'll try." Jade promises.

"Then I forgive you." I smile. She smiles back, kind of.

"Thanks. That… means a lot."

I spread open my arms. "Hug?"

"Seriously? You've developed a phobia of being touched and yet you're _still _all huggy?" Jade sighs.

"Please? It'll be like an experiment for me." I pout.

"Fine." Jade rolls her eyes, opening her arms as well.

"Yay!" I cheer, leaping to her. We hug and her body feels different from Tori's and it weirds my brain out for a second, but other than that it's okay. I **am **getting better. I don't let the hug last long, though. Mostly out of consideration for Jade.

"So, friends?" Jade asks.

"Yep!" I confirm.

"Cool." She smiles. We leave the closet to see Tori anxiously standing there. I skip over to her, and she notices my slightly cheerier mood.

"Everything's cleared up now." I tell her.

"Is it?" Tori raises an eyebrow.

"Well, not about The Slap comments. That I'm still sad about." I frown. "But I'm not mad at Jade anymore." I assure her. Tori looks unconvinced. I think she's still mad at Jade.

"Yo, Vega." Jade calls. Tori snaps her head to look at Jade.

"What?" Tori glares. Jade nod's her head to the closet.

"Your turn." Jade drawls. Tori looks at me and I nod.

"It's okay." I say, pecking her on the cheek. Tori sighs, walking over to Jade.

"What do you want?" Tori interrogates.

"Just to have a chat…" Jade's voice rings out just before she closes the closet door behind them. Now I'm left alone in the hallway. My stomach growls, reminding me that I never got a chance to eat. But I want to wait here for Tori. I want to make sure Jade doesn't actually get back at Tori for punching her. Jade hates it when you touch her face.

Biting my lip, I pull out my phone and glance at my Slap page. Big mistake. Tears fill my eyes again as I quickly put my phone away. How could people be so mean? Don't they realize I'm a person?

"Hey, Cat." Beck wanders around the corner.

"Hi Beck." I force a smile.

"Did Jade talk to you?" He looks concerned.

"Yeah, she did." I nod. He runs a hand through his hair. My, it is poofy.

"I'm sorry… about how she acted. I guess she explained…" Beck says.

"So you knew?" I ask, curious.

"Of course. I'm one of the few people that know. Really, it's probably just you, me and Jade. Not even her parents know." Beck admits. "I know how she dealt with it makes her hard. But it doesn't define her. It's her decision. She's way more than what happened to her. It'll be the same for you, Cat. Maybe you'll change but, you'll still be you. And it won't define you." He says.

"Thanks, Beck. You really care about Jade, huh? To deal with that and accept it?" I ponder.

"I love her." He states plainly. "And I'm glad you have someone who will accept you the same way I accept Jade."

"You mean Tori?" I question.

"Yeah, I do." He smiles. I blush, embarrassed. He looks around for a moment.

"Where is Jade, anyway?"

"In the janitor's closet… talking to Tori." I answer.

"Oh."

"Oh what?"

"No, it's nothing. I'm sure it's completely harmless." Beck assures me.

"Oh… okay." I say skeptically, looking over at the closet. No screaming. Good sign, right?

"And don't let those Slappers affect you. If they knew you like we do, they would never say they things they are. They're just ignorant." Beck says.

"Aww, thanks." I smile. "But… it still hurts. I don't like negativity."

"And there's no reason you should have to deal with it. We'll figure something out." Beck claims. I smile again as we stand outside, waiting. Soon enough, the door opens revealing a slightly confused Tori and an indifferent looking Jade.

"Hey babe." Jade saunters up to Beck, locking lips with him.

"All better?" Beck asks, smiling.

"My jaw tickles a little bit, thanks to Vega. But other than that, I'm peachy." Jade smirks. Tori scoffs.

"Great, let's go finish lunch." Beck offers, towing Jade with him, hand in hand.

"Same old Jade." Tori shakes her head. I wrap my arms around her waist and look up at her.

"What'd you talk about?" I ask.

"She just… wanted to make sure I was serious about you." Tori explains.

"And?" I ask, batting my eyes.

"I told her… I want to be serious about you, but it's still early, and I'll know soon. And that you know that." She reveals.

"Okay." I sigh. "Let's not think about where we might be after the sixty day kiss right now." I rest my head on her chest and she wraps her arms carefully around me, placing a kiss on top of my head.

"Deal. I'm fine with living in the moment." Tori breathes. "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes." I say, leaning my head back. Tori stoops her head down and places her lips on mine, moving slowly. I return it, deepening it slightly. As usual, she overwhelms me in a way that my fear can hardly even supress anymore. I let out a soft sigh to her lips and she detaches to breathe, only to start leaving kisses on my jaw line. I push myself up against her and sigh again, loving how Tori makes me feel. Her lips starting moving downwards and almost reach my neck when I open my eyes to look over her shoulder and see: "Sinjin!"

Tori and I jump back from each other and Tori quickly turns to glare daggers at Sinjin. He' s standing there looking mesmerized with a little note pad. "So it's true!" Sinjin gasps, wide eyed.

"What are you doing here, you little creep!" Tori challenges.

"Do you mind kissing again? I want to take some notes." He requests, raising his pen and note book.

"Wh-what? No!" Tori growls.

"Please? It's just for research purposes…"

"My. Dad. Is. A. Cop." Tori glares.

"It was a dumb research project anyway." Sinjin states, closing his notepad and quickly runs off.

"Gross." I wrinkle my nose.

"Sorry, Cat. You shouldn't be objectified like that." Tori sighs.

"It's not your fault Sinjin's… Sinjin." I say.

"That's one way of putting it." Tori groans.

"Just one little kiss!" Sinjin's head yells, poking around the corner. Tori snaps her fingers and points.

"Walk."

"Walking!" Sinjin exclaims, his head disappearing again. I let out a giggle.

"Hey, Tori?" I start.

"Yeah?" She gives me a caring look.

"Next time you want to kiss me… don't ask, just do it. Okay?" I request. Tori blinks at me, looking uneasy.

"Don't get me wrong, I love that idea. But… are you sure you're ready?" Tori asks.

"No. I might just slap you again. But I might not. I'll never know where I'm at unless I try, and start taking risks." I state, eyes downcast. I want to be with Tori. And part of the deal with myself wanting to be with her past the sixty day kiss is being able to be physically intimate without the physical assault. "I want to get better."

"Okay, Cat. I hope you don't slap me, though." Tori says.

"Maybe I'll wear pillows on my hands for a few days?" I suggest.

"I love the way your brain works." Tori laughs. "But no, I trust you."

"Kay." I smile. The bell rings over-head and I frown.

I still never got to eat anything.

* * *

We're in the blackbox for our musical theatre class. Which, I should really be excited for, but with all the hate from The Slap looming over me, I'm finding it hard to be particularly cheerful about anything. Just knowing that every minute more and more negativity is rushing to me online… I haven't looked at my phone since lunch but Tori, Beck, Jade, Andre and Robbie are constantly on their electronics reporting every message that comes in. I really do have the best support group. Even when we're supposed to be learning about harmonizing in an ensemble, they're still tapping away at their phones. Tori looks almost physically sick at some of the things she's reading. I place my hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

"You can take a break." I whisper.

"No, I really can't." Tori sighs. "They're not just posting on your profile anymore. They're posting all over The Slap – on their own profiles, on other people's, things you're tagged in…"

"Oh…" I frown.

"Sorry, Cat, we're doing what we can. But it's like they've noticed we're reporting so they keep fighting back harder." Tori mutters. The teacher excuses herself for a moment, going to get something or other. Behind me, Andre makes an inhuman sound of shock. I turn and he's partially covering his mouth, holding his PearPod away from himself.

"Oh, lord." He gasps. I furrow my brow.

"What?" I ask. He flounders for a second.

"I see it too. Reported." Beck announces.

"What is it... Oh my god, seriously? People are sick and not in a good way." Jade huffs, looking at Beck's screen.

"What?! Just tell me." I pout.

"Um… somebody photoshopped your head on top of a body that is uh… lacking clothes. And then they posted it." Andre admits. I feel myself go into an all-out flush and Tori gasps. I'm going to cry again. I hear a slam and look over to see Robbie, who just roughly put his phone down. He looks super angry.

"That's it. I'm sick of this chiz." Robbie declares, getting up. He starts to head behind the curtain to get back stage.

"Robbie? Where are you going?" I ask.

"To deal with this once and for all!" He shouts back.

"What's he going to do? Get Rex to cuss them all out?" Jade scoffs.

"Hey, that could work. Rex has some skills." Andre adds. We all slightly murmur in agreement. I lean over, put my arms around Tori's neck and rest my chin on her shoulder.

"I used to think the best about everyone. Now, I'm starting to see why people get cynical about humanity." I pout.

"Don't, Cat. Your positive outlook is refreshing. If more people were like you, things like this wouldn't happen." Tori assures me, causing me to give her a kiss under her ear. She shivers. Cute.

"You make me have faith in people." I sigh. I hear Jade groan off to the side. I giggle and turn to the rest of my friends. "You all do."

"Thanks, Lil Red." Andre grins.

"Those people making comments are a small portion of the population. Don't let the few jerks who shout profanities cloud the thousands of people whispering encouragement." Beck philosophizes. Jade turns to him, licking her lips.

"Damn that was hot." She comments. Beck gives a shrug, smirking.

"It doesn't excuse the shouters." Tori sighs, rubbing my back.

"True. Things need to change. The whisperers can make a difference if we whisper loud enough." Beck says. Jade lets out a purring sound, making Beck seem to blush a little bit. Finally, Robbie comes back.

"There. Done." Robbie states, sitting down. We all look around, confused.

"Done what?" Tori asks.

"Oh, right. I talked to Sinjin. He agreed to create a program that would detect all forms of negativity towards Cat on The Slap and delete it before it's even posted. It should be going live tonight." Robbie explains. A big grin spreads across my face.

"Robbie! That's amazing!" I exclaim.

"Yeah, and he didn't agree to do it for free, either." Robbie continues. "I mean, originally he asked me to get Tori and Cat to kiss in front of him… but I said no."

"Thank you!" Tori exasperates.

"So I'm going to give him a bunch of my mint condition comic books." Robbie pouts. "I can't be too upset about it. He would usually ask for more but he's pretty fond of Cat."

"Aw, Robbie!" I exclaim again, jumping up from my chair and running to him. I give him a peck on the cheek, and he blushes.

"W-well it w-was nothing, y-y'know? Just… what friends do." Robbie giggles.

"Watch it, that's my girlfriend." Tori warns, but she's smiling, clearly very grateful. Robbie raises his hands submissively.

"I just figured if they have no outlet to put their hate on, they'll just crawl back into the holes they came from." Robbie reasoned.

"Way to go, Shapiro." Beck says.

Sinjin's program hack worked perfectly. By midnight, there was zero trace of any hate towards me on The Slap, as if it never happened. But I was a bit worried about my own school. They had all seen what was on The Slap. They all knew what happened to me. I didn't want to get the same hate from them – it's not like Sinjin could use a computer program to make people be unable to say mean things orally – could he?

When I got to school the next day, what I saw shocked me. There were piles of cards, balloons and candy in front of my locker. Tori helped me look through the cards. Most of them were encouragement, saying they believed my side of the story, that they're glad I'm okay and that they admire me. Other anonymous ones told stories of how they had been through similar situations or knew someone close to them who had been affected that way. They were grateful to see me be able to move on so well, and were inspired to seek help or go to the police. It honestly warmed my heart. Not one word of hate from my peers, and that spoke volumes. Beck's words echoed through my mind.

"_If they knew you like we do, they would never say the things they are_."

"_The whisperers can make a difference if we whisper loud enough_."

* * *

A week later, me and my friends were walking along Hollywood Boulevard. Rex was making fun of Robbie for buying an expensive satchel. Jade was hanging off Beck's arm and glaring at any girl who so much as looked at him. Andre was casually beat-boxing along to whatever the street buskers were playing. My hand was firmly clasped in Tori's, yet our arms gently swayed in the warm L.A. breeze.

"Hey, is that…? Hey! Cat Valentine?" A booming voice calls out to us from nearby. We all turn and I feel my stomach plummet. I had met them a handful of times. They were Matt and Jason. Derek's two best friends. They jog up to us and Tori looks at me worriedly, feeling my hand tense.

"Yo! It's been awhile, huh?" Matt, the one with black hair in a fohawk, starts the conversation. Jason is beside him, with brown shaggy hair.

"Y…yeah." I mumble. Jade leaves Beck's arm and stands in between me and them in an intimidating stance.

"I remember you two. You were at the Northridge grad dance and laser tag. You're Derek's little cronies, aren't you?" Jade accuses. Tori's hand squeezes mine and she moves closer to me. "What do you want?" Jade hisses.

"Whoa, hold on! We come in peace!" Jason assures her.

"Yeah, it's true. We are… or… _were _Derek's friends." Matt admits.

"But we're not anymore." Jason states.

"No?" I ask, unsure.

"We swear. Look, we don't know you that well, Cat… Derek – he never really had us meet any of the girls he was… seeing." Matt sighs. I cringe a bit. "It's actually lucky we ran into you. We wanted to talk to you… but we didn't want to just show up on your doorstep. That could've seemed… threatening."

"Which is understandable! We saw what people were saying to you last Monday. Let me start off by apologizing for that. We weren't a part of any of it. And second of all… let us apologize for our friend's actions. To be honest, we did know what he was doing. He was a player. And for a while I actually admired him for it." Jason explains.

"We just… we never thought he would take it that far." Matt says.

"When we first heard about it, we didn't believe it." Jason agrees. "It was seriously messed up."

"But now we know better… We can't ever take back what he did. In fact this whole conversation might be pointless…" Matt trails off awkwardly.

"But we can let you know that we, two dudes who were this guy's best friends, are on your side." Jason continues.

"Yeah! So if you ever need some muscle and people are bothering you, call us up and we'll talk some sense into them." Matt smiles, flexing a muscle.

"And yeah. I guess that's what we wanted to say… Just that we're sorry, we got your back, and you deserve better." Jason concludes. I release Tori's hand and step beside Jade, giving them a warm smile.

"Thank you… so much. You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that." I say sincerely.

"Aw, good. Glad we could make a difference." Matt chuckles.

"We're not all bad, you know. Derek was just sick in the head. Who knew?" Jason sighs sadly. It was clear that they were hurting at losing their best friend.

"Anyway, we'll let you go. Remember, if you need anything, just look us up on The Slap or something." Matt adds.

"Kay, kay." I nod.

"Bye, Cat. See you around." Jason waves as they walk off. Jade turns to me carefully, and Tori steps in front of me, gently touching my arm.

"Are you feeling okay?" Tori asks. I furrow my brow for a second before looking into her eyes, and the eyes of my friends, beaming.

"Yeah! I feel… amazing." I breathe. Tori's eyebrows raise in surprise, but she smiles, seeing I'm being genuine. It's inexplicable. It's like… I just had a huge weight lifted off me. I'm haunted still by my memories, but I feel less burdened by them. Having that conversation with Derek's best friends gave me a sense of relief I can't quite put my finger on, but I can try.

Closure.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Yeah, so that's what is called "victim blaming". Social networks are great, but unfortunately it's opened up this whole, mass form of cyber bullying for rape victims where people can hide behind a computer screen to harass someone who was violated without even knowing their full story. I just... find that disgusting, and I wanted to include it in this story as well as what Beck said about it. Whisper loud, my friends.**

**And I hope no one is mad at me for Jade's behaviour in this chapter. I wanted to give her some more depth as a character, and I hope I pulled it together pretty well. Now things are all better. Anyway, I consider this chapter basically the end of the "sexual assault" story arc of Falling-Out. As I've mentioned before, however, Cat will continue to struggle with it the rest of the story as it won't ever completely go away for her. It will still be mentioned frequently. Alas, we shall move on to other parts of Cat and Tori's journey together. Join me on this roller-coaster. **

**Fun Fact: I just ate so many Reese's Pieces. That had nothing to do with the chapter, but I can't think of a fun fact for this one either. And I can't think of another celebrity encounter... Oh, one time Ryan Gosling was at my University. Eat your heart out, Rachel McAdams.**


	18. Tragedies

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, and I don't think I need to remind you that I don't own Pink Champagne by Ariana Grande... but wait! I'm always reminding you that I don't own Victorious! Because, you know, that dead horse hasn't been beaten enough. **

* * *

"I have a request." Tori starts off slowly.

"Ask away." I smile, running my fingers through her hair. I'm sitting on her couch and Tori is lying down with her head on my lap (a pillow between her head and my legs – too close to a certain area for comfort, y'know?).

"The annual showcase is soon… and last year I was kind of thrown into it without being prepared or anything." Tori explains.

"You were amazing for someone who had to wing it." I giggle.

"Thanks." She smiles. "But I'd like to be rehearsed this year, especially since it'll be my second and last showcase." Tori sighs. I frown at that idea.

"What did you have in mind? Another song?" I question.

"Yeah… do you want to sing it with me?" She asks shyly. I beam and bounce excitedly, causing Tori to almost fall off my lap.

"I would love to sing with you!" I cheer.

"Haha, great!" Tori grins, shaking herself off from the shake I just gave her head.

"What song?" I ask. Tori sits herself up, I'm guessing to prevent me from bouncing her around again.

"Remember the song we wrote a while ago?" She asks.

"Pink Champagne? Of course! Wow, that was a long time ago." I gawk.

"Yeah, it feels like ages." Tori chuckles. "Want to sing that?"

"Yes!" I exclaim, bouncing happily again. I guess it's good she got off my lap.

"Wonderful! Want to run over the lyrics now?" Tori asks.

"Sure." I grin. She leads me to the piano and starts playing the song. I guess she had been planning this for a while, because the song sounded freshly practiced on the piano. It doesn't take me long to remember the lyrics. They were so fun! After playing the song through once, I look at Tori with soft eyes, waiting for her to notice. When she does, she turns in her seat.

"What?" She asks.

"Did you know that when your pupils dilate, it means you like the person you're looking at?" I state sweetly. She tilts her head in confusion for a moment, and then her jaw drops.

"Oh." Tori says simply. "I'm an idiot."

"Tori?" I giggle.

"Yeah?" She blushes, embarrassed.

"Your pupils are dilated." I chuckle. She responds with a smile.

"So are yours." Tori comments. I lean in to close the distance between our mouths. Centimetres from touching, the front door bursts open and we jump back from each other.

"I'm home with food!" Tori's mom declares, carrying groceries.

"Once through again?" Tori asks, playing the song on the keys nervously.

* * *

"It looks packed out there." Tori notes, looking out from behind the curtains backstage at the showcase.

"Nervous?" I ask.

"No, just excited." Tori smiles at me. She really is a born performer.

"Same." I grin.

"You girls ready?" Andre asks, coming up behind us. He agreed to play back-up for the song, since he came up with a lot of the additions music wise.

"As ready as we'll ever be." Tori sighs.

"Sounds good to me. Don't worry. You'll both be great. I heard you in rehearsals." He assures us.

"Thanks Andre." Tori grins.

"We're on next. After your, uh… sister." Andre cringes. As if on cue, the last off-key note is sung by Trina, much to the relief of the audience. Like, I'm pretty sure I just heard them all sigh in relief.

"Why doesn't she just stick with martial arts?" Tori groans.

"And that was Trina Vega with… whatever that was!" The MC announces. Trina struts off stage and looks at us.

"Beat that, losers." She scoffs, and continues on her way. Tori rolls her eyes.

"And now," The MC continues, "We have the other Vega and some of her friends. Please welcome to the stage, Tori Vega, Cat Valentine and Andre Harris with a song they wrote themselves: Pink Champagne!" He proclaims. The audience roars in cheers.

"Meet you guys out there." Andre winks as he heads out to plug himself in. I go to follow but Tori stops me.

"Cat." She says. I turn to her.

"What is it Tor-mmm." My question is cut off by Tori's lips. My first reaction is to push her away, but it's quickly squashed by my second reaction to kiss back earnestly. She pulls back with a grin on her face just as I want more, and walks past me onto the stage. I skip after her with a goofy smile on my face. I just got surprised by a kiss from Tori Vega. I am _so _ready to sing this song.

* * *

We finish the last line and the venue erupts in applause. Our harmonies were spot on. Excitedly, I give Tori a hug on stage which makes the crowd cheer even more. They're in the know. We leave the stage feeling great. Jade's out behind the stage, clapping slowly.

"My, could that song have been any more opposite of what I like?" Jade drawls.

"Well, we could have sung about shrimp without the tails removed…" I suggest.

"Don't." Jade warns.

"I liked the song." Beck said, coming up beside Jade with a guitar.

"Thank _you _Beck." Tori smiles sweetly. "Are you on next?"

"Yep. Jade and I are doing an acoustic duet together." Beck states.

"That's cute." I smile.

"Yeah. Cute. It's a song about a couple who break up but they're miserable without each other, so they take up drinking. At the end of the song they're both wazz drunk in the same bar and they don't even know it." Jade explains.

"Oh… still… cute?" I question.

"Here is Jade West and Beck Oliver!" The MC announces.

"That's our cue." Beck says. Jade links arms with him and they head out onto stage. It's a depressing song, but it _is _beautiful. Especially with their voices.

"We killed it out there." Andre grins, giving both of us high fives.

"Yeah! We- whoa." Tori stops and sways a bit. I eye her with concern.

"Tor? You alright there?" I ask. She steadies herself before answering.

"Yes, I just felt light-headed there for a second." Tori mumbles. "Actually, I feel kind of warm. Can I get some water or something?" She asks.

"I got it." Andre says, running off. I gently lead Tori to a seat backstage, looking at her with worry.

"How's your head?" I ask, brushing her bangs back.

"It's fine. I guess it was just… coming down from the adrenaline of performing on stage." Tori reasons.

"You did put a lot into that performance." I note.

"You can't not dance around to that song." She chuckles. "I am feeling really warm though, where's Andre?"

"Got your water!" Andre calls out, running up with a bottle of water. "Try not to think of the fish pee."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Okay…" Tori shrugs, drinking the water. I rub her shoulder soothingly and after a while she stands up.

"How are you feeling now?" I ask with concern.

"I feel way better. Like I said, probably just post-show stuff. Come on, the last act is on. I want to go to the showcase party." She grins.

"Yeah! Maybe we can meet some music producers who liked our stuff. Heh Heh." Andre exclaims, rubbing his hands together excitedly.

"Kay, kay…" I mumble. I kept close to Tori all night and watched her. She seemed fine so I guess it was no big deal. I'm probably just overreacting. I should just drop it.

* * *

Not seeing your girlfriend the next day at school is worrying. Not getting a reply from her when you send her texts is even more concerning. When you call her plenty of times, leave messages and she still doesn't get back to you, you may start to sweat. Getting to school the day after that, showing up to first period and still seeing that she's not around? Paranoia.

"I think what's important here, folks, is to recognize that each character has their own habits. The habits that you give your character need to be choices, though. You cannot bring your own personal habits into your character. This is unintentional, and is not acting." Sikowitz lectures. I'm only slightly listening. I keep glancing at the door to see if Tori will run in.

"So… like… say if we smoke, we can't bring that habit into our character? But what about if our character smokes?" Robbie asks.

"Not those kind of habits, Robbie. I mean subtle ones. Things like clenching your fists every so often, or moving your eyebrows with everything you say. These are personal habits. You may not realize you're doing them, so you must identify these habits and break them when acting. Drive-by acting exercise! You are all golden retrievers that just reunited with your soldier owner who was overseas!" Sikowitz declares. Suddenly, everyone's prancing around and panting excitedly, and whimpering and crying and barking.

"Alright that's enough." Sikowitz stops us. "You were all happy dogs yet you still had some of your personal habits. Beck, you kept flipping your hair. You are not Bieber and neither was the dog you were playing. Robbie, you tend to flex your right hand and wave it around. Cat…" Sikowitz pauses, looking at me. "Actually, you weren't doing any of the things you usually do. In fact, you seemed more like a puppy off to the pound." He frowns.

"Sorry Sikowitz." I mumble.

"Well I suppose I can't scold you for not doing your personal habits during my lesson about how you shouldn't be doing your personal habits. Regardless, class…" Sikowitz continues off on a tangent about becoming more aware while acting to pick out your habits. And still I keep glancing at the door. Jade, now watching me closely after the drive-by, notices.

"Sikowitz," She interrupts. "Where's Vega?"

Sikowitz raises an eyebrow at Jade. "Do my ears deceive me? Is Jade West actually curious about Tori's whereabouts?"

"Yeah, yeah. Do you know where she is or not?" Jade huffs. Sikowitz smiles.

"Ah, very good, Jade. Already breaking old habits." He praises, but then goes serious. "Unfortunately Tori's mother has called the school the past two days saying that Tori is very sick and could not attend." Sikowitz reveals. I let out a squeak.

"Sick with what?" Andre asks.

"Some sort of… infection of her interior organs? I wasn't really listening when they told me." Sikowitz admits. The class grimaces. I just feel my heart rate skyrocket. Tori's sick? **Infection of interior organs**?! "I'm sure she'll be back eventually. In the meantime-"

My hand shoots into the air. "Sikowitz may I be excused?" I ask quickly. He blinks at me for a second before slowly nodding.

"Very well, Cat. In fact, take the rest of the day off. I'll inform your other teachers." Sikowitz states. I drop my jaw in surprise.

"Wait, she gets the whole day off?" Jade gawks.

"Cat's mind is usually distracted, so the fact that her mind is on someone she deeply cares about now means that she probably won't be able to benefit much from being here anyway." Sikowitz sighs, looking at me. "I think you're needed elsewhere."

I practically throw my books and bag up in the air. "Thank you, Sikowitz!" I yell, scrambling out of the room. As I leave I notice Jade pushing back Beck's hair.

"Hey, babe, are you feeling sick, too? You seem a little peckish…" Jade questions.

"Nice try, Jade." Sikowitz laughs.

I quickly run into the hall and start checking all the classrooms. She has to be… ah! "Trina!" I exclaim, bursting into a classroom. The class, including Trina, looks at me with surprise.

"Can I… help you?" The teacher asks incredulously.

"I need to talk to Trina!" I affirm. The teacher takes one look at Trina and then back to me.

"Please, take her." The teacher begs. Trina scoffs and walks past me out into the hallway.

"Thank you, that material was boring the first time around." Trina mumbles.

"Tori's sick?" I pout. Trina looks at me with surprise.

"Yeah, pretty bad too. It's gross." Trina affirms.

"Is anybody home with her?" I ask.

"No. My parents had stuff to do and I can't afford to skip class and fail another year, so…"

"Give me your house keys." I demand.

"What? Okay, I know you're like, her girlfriend or whatever but…" Trina trails off, seeing the look in my eyes. "Fine." She sighs, holding out a chain of keys to me. I take them and run off.

"Thanks, Trina!" I call after her.

"Geez, caring about other people sure seems like a lot of effort…" She grumbles.

I hail a cab as soon as I get out of the school and to the street. It doesn't take long for me to get to Tori's because I just kept rambling to the driver trying to explain why I needed to get to her to see if she's okay. I'm pretty sure he wanted me out of the car as soon as possible. I pay for the cab and sprint up to the door, fumbling with Trina's key to unlock the door. Once I'm in, I close the door and look around. No sign of Tori. She must be in her room.

I quietly walk up the stairs and slowly open her door. There she is, sprawled out on her bed with the covers flung off her. Hair is everywhere, and she's in a purple tank top and white pajama bottoms. It's clear she hasn't gotten up yet. I don't think she's moved in a while. There's two bottles of pills and a half empty glass of water by her bed-side. I can't read the labels from here.

"Tori?" I call out softly. No response. I gulp uneasily and edge forward. "Tori?" I repeat. Still nothing. Her eyes are closed but her face is twisted into one of discomfort. I ease myself onto the bed next her, sitting up and taking her hand in mine. Well, she's breathing at least. I reach up to touch her forehead. She's burning hot!

"Nnnrgg… Mom?" She groans, eyes still closed.

"Not quite." I mutter, smiling. At least she's alive.

"Cat?" Tori questions, opening one eye slowly. When she sees me, she breaks into a big goofy grin. "Cat! What're you doin' here?"

"I came to see you. You weren't at school yesterday, or today, and I couldn't get a hold of you… I was worried." I frown. She seems to take a while to grasp what I'm saying, and then she pouts.

"I'm sorry hun. I never wanna worry you." She sighs.

"It's okay. What's wrong, anyway? You're sick?" I ask.

"Pffft oh it's nothing. The doctor said it was some sort of… kidney infection or whatever. Not a big deal." Tori says, starting to giggle. She seems a little out of it. And that's coming from me. "He gave me pills. Antibiotics for the infection, and some sort of strong pain killer to deal with the excruciating abdominal and back pain." She mumbles, pointing at the bottles. Well, that explains the extra goofiness.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, squeezing her hand.

"I feel fffantastic! A little tired." Tori sighs.

"You feel like you're running a fever." I frown.

"Am I? Oh, that would explain why I go from feeling really hot to freezing… freezing to really hot…" She rambles.

"Yes, that would explain it." I smile, running a hand through her untamed, slightly damp hair.

"Mmm that feels nice." Tori smiles, closing her eyes. Then her eyes pop open. "Did you say I'm missing school?"

"Yeah, yesterday and today. Probably tomorrow, too." I bite my lip.

"Noooo!" She groans, starting to rock as if trying to get up. "I can't miss school!"

"Shhh Tori sit still. You're sick. You can't go to school." I sigh.

"But it's my last year! I don't know what I'm missing! And I need to go for… for other reasons!" Tori whines.

"Why?"

"Because! Cat is there! What if she needs me? I need to be there for her if something happens!" Tori cries. I gasp in surprise. She's sick and she still thinks about protecting me?

"Tori… I'm right here." I assure her softly. She stops shuffling and looks at me.

"Oh, yeah, right." She giggles, and then looks at me seriously. "Are you okay? Any panic attacks?"

"No, Tori." I shake my head. "I've been fine. I've just been worried about you."

"That's sweet. You're sweet." She grins, but her face falls again. "But I still need to get to class! I need to learn things! I can't let Jade get ahead of me!" She starts to get up, but without thinking I vault my leg over her, and straddle her. I hover above her a bit, holding her shoulders down. She looks at me surprised.

"You're staying right here and resting. School can wait." I insist. Her face softens.

"Why aren't you at school?" She asks.

"I… like I said, I was worried." I blush.

"You skipped for me?" Tori questions.

"Actually, I was basically given permission by Sikowitz." I explain.

"Aw, Sikowitz, that goofy guy." She chuckles.

"Yeah." I smile. "Are you feeling disoriented at all?"

"Nah, just tired, like I said." Tori says, yawning for effect.

"Do you want to sleep?" I ask.

"No… no I want to stay awake and talk to you." She insists.

"Okay, Tori." I brush my hand by her cheek and she looks at me with bright eyes.

"You're… You're beautiful." Tori breathes out. "Like an angel."

"Yeah, you're disoriented." I flush.

"Stop it. You're absolutely beautiful. Everything about you." She says, tracing her eyes around my face. I turn my head away and let out an embarrassed giggle.

"Look who's talking." I smirk. Tori pauses for a moment, but then bursts out giggling.

"Yeah! I'm sure I'm a sight for sore eyes." She giggles, waving her mane around.

"You always take my breath away." I mumble. I look back at her and see that her already flushed face from the fever has become even redder. I shift my knees back a bit and lean forward, resting against her. My hands loop under her arms to cradle her shoulders on either side, and I snuggle my head next to hers so that my forehead is on her pillow. There's a lot of heat radiating off her. "Are you done trying to get to school?" I question firmly.

"If I say yes, will you get off me?" Tori asks.

"Maybe." I giggle.

"Next chance I get I'm running to the front door."

"I better stay like this, then." I state quietly.

"Oh, darn." Tori sighs, wrapping her arms around me. She turns her face into my hair and breathes. "You always smell so good."

"Thanks." I smile.

"I'm so lucky." Tori mumbles.

"Tori… you have a kidney infection." I comment.

"Yeah, but I have you to look after me." She explains.

"I owe you." I say dryly.

"You don't owe me anything." Tori murmurs. I think she's starting to fall asleep.

"Then this one's on the house. Or, Cat's castle." I joke, turning my head to give her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Mmm…" She sighs.

"You can go back to sleep." I say.

"Will you be here when I wake up?" Tori asks.

"If you want me to be."

"I want you to be…"

"Then I'll be here." I state.

"Okay… night night." Tori coos. We lay there for a while, and I become aware of her change in breathing as she dozes off. But I don't move. Well, not much. I don't want to risk my straddling becoming a problem for me if she moves upward in her sleep, so I shift my legs off of her and lay beside her. We still hold onto each other, though. I start to fall asleep myself when I feel Tori's breath hitch. "Cat?"

"Tori?"

"I… I need to pee. _Really _bad." She grimaces.

"Oh! Okay." I slide off her.

"Help meee." Tori groans, flailing her arms blindly for my support. I can't help but giggle. She's not nearly as bad as Trina, so her neediness is a little cute. I grab her arms and put them around my neck. She leans into me as I shuffle us to her bathroom.

"Shout if you need me." I say, gently leading her in.

"Nnnnkay." She slurs, closing the door. I wait a few minutes and I can hear her wash her hands after she's done. After that, silence. I don't hear her move towards the door or anything. I'm about to knock, when-

"Caaaaaat." She moans.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" I ask through the door.

"B-bring a blanket!" She requests.

"Uh… okay!" I exclaim, running off to find a blanket. There was a closet with a ton of them nearby. I grab one and hurry back to the bathroom door. "Now what?"

"C-c-come in." Tori stutters out. Why is she stuttering? I open the door and she's huddled on the ground, shivering. Wow. I can remember when I was trembling on her bathroom floor. We've switched positions. "I'm in the f-f-freezing p-part." She shivers.

"Oh, Tori." I swiftly wrap the blanket around her, along with my arms. "Let's try to get back to your room."

"I d-don't wanna m-move." She mumbles.

"I'll give you some kisses when we get there."

"…Well okay."

I hold her shivering form as we edge toward her room. Once we get there, she collapses on her bed and bunches the covers around her as she curls up into a shivering ball. I slide up beside her on the bed and start pressing my lips to her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, her neck, and of course, her own lips. It's as if these kisses make her feel warm, because she stops shivering and drifts off to sleep.

As I watch her sleeping form, I know my decision. My need to take care of her today showed me that I'm not just drawn to her so I can have her protect me. I'd do anything for Tori. I'm getting over my fear of touch for her. I really care about her… maybe even more than just care. But I can't allow myself to fall in love with her. Not yet. Because I know that in less than a month, she may inform me that she can't do this anymore, and that she didn't feel the way she thought she did. That it was fun, but she's really only attracted to guys in the long term. And I need to accept that, as hard as it might be. Because that was the deal. And then we'd continue as if moments like this happened, but don't mean the same anymore. Just friends.

But my choice is to be more than friends. I don't want the sixty day kiss to be our last. Looking at her peaceful face, no longer contorted into one of restless sleep, I fall asleep too, dreaming of many more surprise kisses.

* * *

Today marks the fifty-fifth day since mine and Tori's first date together. Do you know what that means? That means that there's five days until our sixty day kiss. That means that these next five days could be the last of our romantic relationship. I'm trying not to think of a negative outcome. Instead, I'm trying to enjoy the time I have with her. I've been hanging off her every chance I get. She doesn't seem to mind, despite her hesitation to PDA. In fact, she's been hanging off me just as much. She could be humouring me, though, since we promised we'd give each other the full two months.

That's a problem with this deal. I mean, she's never shown me any signs of not wanting to be with me, but for all I know Tori could've wanted to get out of this relationship a long time ago. But, she can't say anything until five days from now. It's stressful. I want to ask her, but I don't want her to feel uncomfortable in having to give me an answer I don't want to hear earlier than she expected. In fact, I'm so nervous about her answer that whenever she has brought it up, I immediately change the subject. I just don't want to deal with it yet.

I mean, can you blame my paranoia? I spent most of last year pining after her yet believing that our relationship could never possibly go beyond friendship. Some of those feelings still linger, and I can't help but think that this is still too good to be true. Five more days…

"Elevated language!" Sikowitz exasperates. "You can't give a line from a Greek Tragedy as if you just casually met up at Inside-Out Burger. Each line has passion behind it, as if it is the most important bit of information you could tell anybody!" He lectures.

"I hate Greek Tragedy." Robbie whines.

"You're a tragedy." Rex comments.

"It's depressing." I pout.

"And slow." Andre agrees.

"I kind of like it. Guy unknowingly kills his father, marries a woman who ends up being his mother, and when he finds out he stabs his own eyes out?" Jade smirks. "Shame that the eye gouging doesn't happen on stage though." She sighs. We stare at her for a moment. "…What?"

"What's wrong with you kids? These plays were the birth place of theatre!" Sikowitz scolds.

"It's just hard to get into the mindset of characters that lived thousands of years ago." Beck reasons.

"In the B.C." Tori adds.

"Ahhh…" Sikowitz ponders. "Right then. It's clear you people need to familiar yourselves with the ancient times and culture! I propose a field trip!" He exclaims. There's an excited murmur in the classroom.

"Are you going to bring us to Greece?" I ask, hopeful.

"Ha! Hardly. We're going to go to the museum!"Sikowitz reveals. There's a groan throughout the classroom. "Come now, don't be like that."

"Hold up, are we going to go to that museum with the virtual reality exhibit?" Andre asks.

"The one in the same, Mr. Harris." Sikowitz confirms.

"Prodigiously tubular!" Robbie cheers. Rex face-palms as we look at Robbie. "…I mean, yeah, awesome."

"Now, now. We're there to see the history! Not get you people addicted to more invasive technology." Sikowitz explains.

"But we'll be able to check out the virtual reality exhibit a little bit?" Tori asks.

"…Sure. Fine." Sikowitz sighs. A cheer is heard in the classroom. "Settle down. The trip will be next Tuesday, because none of my shows are on that evening."

"Really? There's a good show that day on at nine..." Beck comments.

Tori and I exchange a small glance. That's the day of our sixty day kiss. The bell rings and everybody gather's their things.

"See you all tomorrow. Try to think hard about what it was like to live thousands of years ago! It can be quite enlightening." Sikowitz announces. Tori and I walk out of the classroom together.

"So, a trip to the museum, huh?" Tori muses.

"Yeah! Sounds fun!" I smile.

"It kind of does. It'll be interesting… It'll be a nice date, too. You know… for that day." Tori gives a small smile.

"Mhm." I sigh, shifting my book bag so I can hug her arm. I don't let go for most of the day.

* * *

"Welcome Mister… Sikowitz." A museum tour guide greets, looking at her clip board. "Is this your class from Hollywood Arts?"

"Yes Ma'am. We are here to educate ourselves!" Sikowitz exclaims. We're outside the museum now. It's huge – five stories of technological advances, artifacts of history, mysteries of the human body, the wonders of nature, works of art, as well as others.

"Yes… very well." She says coolly. She doesn't seem like a woman who enjoys her job. Or maybe she just doesn't like teenagers. "Follow me, everyone." She beckons us. We enter the building to find a large area with large murals and sculptures and TV screens previewing some of the displays.

"Man, this place is huge." Robbie breathes.

"Oh hell yes! Did you see that, Robbie? They have mannequins in the human biology section. Maybe I can score myself a girlfriend. Heh." Rex gushes.

"Hey, maybe they have a wood chipper too! Or an incinerator!" Jade says with mock enthusiasm, glaring at Rex.

"You, are a mean mean girl." Rex grumbles.

"I try." Jade shrugs.

"Quiet please during the tour." The guide shouts out, making Jade scoff and cross her arms. I feel a sudden pressure and warmth in my hand. Tori had reached over and slipped her hand in mine. I look at her with a sweet smile. Just because we have grumpy tour guide doesn't mean we have to let it ruin what could be our last date. "Stay close and don't touch any of the exhibits. Now, we have a popular new addition to the museum, called the 'Virtual Reality Exhibit' …"

"Erm, actually, I was wondering if you could perhaps first bring us to the ancient exhibits." Sikowitz requests.

"The… ancient exhibits?" The guide drawls.

"Precisely. We can just double back to the other stuff after we're done there." Sikowitz suggests. The guide gives him a cold, hard stare.

"…Very well. It's unconventional but I get paid regardless." The guide mutters. She surveys our group and notices Tori's hand in mine. She gives us a disgusted look. Great, a non-accepting person. Tori tenses a little but I squeeze her hand in comfort. She relaxes and squeezes back. See? Nothing going to get us down.

We walk down some corridors and pass some exhibits. We pass by the virtual reality room and some of the kids, including Andre and Robbie, look at the futuristic doorway longingly. Tori catches me looking as well.

"Interested?" She whispers.

"A little bit." I giggle. "The idea that you can feel like you're anywhere you want? I mean, I do that with my brain all the time, but to actually see it…" I trail off.

"I agree. It's very cool." She smiles. "What do you usually think about?"

"I'm not telling." I blush with a smile. She blushes and smiles as well.

"Ehem. I said _no talking during the tour_." The guide snaps at us.

"You're not even telling us anything. We're just walking." Jade scoffs.

"Anyone on this tour with attitude can feel free to _leave it_." The guide narrows her eyes at Jade.

"Fine by me." Jade says, turning away.

"Jade, if you leave this trip and miss out on the acting research then you get a failing grade for this unit." Sikowitz warns. Jade pauses for a moment, thinking about it, before turning around and rejoining the group.

"Fine." She huffs.

"No more interruptions? Good. Our destination is right down here." The guide states, leering at me and Tori again before leading us down the hall.

"Homophobic gank." Jade mutters under her breath, making me bite back a giggle. We reach the end of the hall and notice the room and foundation seem a little dated.

"This is the oldest part of the building. Here we hold some of the ancient treasures of years passed. In this room, you will find artifacts, armour, weapons and scrolls that date back to the Ancient Dynasties of China." The guide describes. "The next room houses many things from Ancient Egypt including jewelry, stone work, hieroglyphics, and even a mummy. In that room you will find a staircase leading to our Ancient Greece exhibit, full of structures, pottery, statues and other things. If you have any questions, please ask. Or, don't." The guide finishes, walking off. We look at each other and then start perusing the objects.

"Wish I had one of these bad boys. I would even take this over scissors." Jade clicks her tongue pleasantly while looking at a sword display. "I like this Dynasty."

"More like die nasty." Rex quips.

"Butterfly sword… Well that doesn't sound so bad." I note.

"I'm sure it feels bad." Jade grins.

"Babe, what did we talk about?" Beck says.

"Not to talk about sharp objects in public in a way that could get me committed…" Jade sighs.

"That's my girl." Beck smiles, giving her a kiss.

"Excuse me, Miss." Sikowitz calls out to the guide. "Do you have anything on the history of the Kabuki or Noh?" He asks.

"…I don't know what Kabuki is." The guide huffs.

"Well what about Noh?" Sikowitz goads.

"No what?" The guide asks.

"Um. Never mind." Sikowitz sighs. Tori and I wander in front of a suit of armour and the guide starts watching us closely. Tori glares at her but then her face softens as she looks at me. She takes both of my hands and gives me a light kiss on my nose. I notice the guide grimace and look away.

"Tori Vega, are you perhaps flaunting me?" I grin.

"Maybe." She smiles, placing a quick kiss on my lips. Oh yeah, I could get used to this.

"Hey love birds, we're heading into the Egypt part. You coming?" Andre asks.

"Yep!" I state happily, and follow the crowd. The Egypt room is much dimmer, and seems even older. Although, it could just be all the old stuff. There's giant Pharaoh statues and lines of gold jewelry, and a small set of stairs leading up to a casket. Robbie is standing there, looking pale.

"Eep." He squeaks. Tori and I wander up to him.

"What is it Rob-Oh my god." Tori gasps, looking into the casket. I wrinkle my nose and make a small "ulg" sound. It's like a human, only… raisoned.

"That's…" I start.

"A very, very dead person." Rex concludes.

"I was expecting, like, the stereotypical wrapped in bandages look. Not, um…" Tori mumbles.

"Eep." Robbie adds.

"Yeah, that." Tori nods.

"He does have a nice smile though. Look at those teeth." Rex states. "Or… she. I can't really tell."

"This part isn't fun." I pout, dragging Tori away.

"Agreed." Tori chuckles.

"Come, class. Head down these stairs. We're running out of time and we still need to observe the reason we came here." Sikowitz announces. We leave the… thing and walk down some stone stairs into a much brighter room. It's big and white, but there are a ton of pictures along the wall of structures in Greece. There are a couple _very detailed _statues that I refuse to look at, some cool pottery and at the end of the room there's a replica of the Parthenon covered in scaffolding.

"Well this just makes me feel bad." Beck comments, looking at one of the statues.

"It brings a whole new meaning to the word 'sculpted'." Jade says.

"Okay then." Tori rolls her eyes.

"Not all of us can be interested in that kind of thing." The guide says to Tori with a big fake smile on her face. Everyone in the group shoots her a glare and she steps back in surprise.

"Excuse me, but what's with the scaffolding?" Sikowitz asks her, ignoring the hate.

"The museum is simply doing some repairs." The guide answers.

"Hmm… not very period accurate. No matter. Everybody start browsing!" Sikowitz orders. We do so and Sikowitz shouts out orders like "Beck, imagine you're Orpheus descending into the depths to find your beloved Eurydice! Robbie, stand there and think about addressing your plague-ridden citizens as Oedipus. Jade! Channel Medea when she found out Jason betrayed you! Cat, think about how it must have felt for Antigone to secretly bury her brother on the battle field!" I have to admit, being around things that were actually created during those times helped. I wander away from Tori for a bit to look at the picture of an Ancient theatre while Sikowitz helps Tori visualize something else.

And then we heard a smash. We look over to see an ancient jar shattered on the floor. Immediately we look at Robbie, who gets an insulted look.

"Hey! I wasn't anywhere near it!" Robbie whines. Suddenly, other pottery pieces start smashing to ground.

"G-ghost?!" I gasp.

"No… it's a…" Beck starts. And then I feel the trembling.

"Earthquake!" Sikowitz shouts as the shaking gets more intense. The guide is the first one up the stairs. Dust and rubble start to fall from the ceiling, and it's clear we're not safe here. "Everybody up the stairs! Hurry!" Sikowitz starts to shuffle the class up the stairs.

"Gwahh!" I hear a scream and turn to see one of the statues knocking Andre down. I'm terrified. I feel myself about to faint…

"Andre!" Tori calls out. She doesn't see the statue beside her rocking. I snap out of my dazed state.

"TORI!" I scream, sprinting towards her. She turns toward my voice and sees the statue about to fall, but I throw myself into her and use my momentum to knock ourselves out of the way. We hit the ground with a woosh from our lungs, but at least we're not in Andre's situation. We weakly look over to see Robbie and Beck helping Andre up. There's blood. Jade's at the bottom of the stairs with Sikowitz.

"Come on!" Jade screeches. The rest of the class is up the stairs. It's just us. A piece of rubble falls right beside me and Tori, and that motivates us to try and steady ourselves to get up. Trying to catch our breath, we try to dodge more falling pieces of ceiling and brick as we make it to the stairs. As we make our way, leaning into each other, Tori points in horror at the stairs, causing Jade and Sikowitz to turn and look. A big crack was making itself up the stairs, and then a cloud of dust and rubble explodes through the stairway. Jade and Sikowitz leap away just in time.

"My god, the second floor just collapsed!" Sikowitz exclaims, coughing from dust.

"The ceiling is caving in!" Robbie gasps out, hobbling over with Beck and Andre.

"Under the scaffolding!" Tori shouts. The ceiling starts to flood in around us, filling the air with dust and debris as we run into the fake Parthenon. I hug Tori tightly as she holds me.

Tori looks at me, terrified. She holds me close, the flimsy scaffolding enshrouding us.

"Cat, I-"

But she's cut off by the cloud of dust flushing into us, knocking us all over as the rest of the building around us collapses. I may never get to know what she was about to say.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Aaand you all hate me. I understand. I'd hate me too. This chapter started off so light and fluffy, huh? Oops. But really, this is one of my favourite chapters that I've written, and I don't just mean because of the cliffhanger. I don't know why. I'm just proud of this one. Meanwhile, all of you are probably thinking THIS CHAPTER SUCKS. Fair enough. **

**So, what are your reactions? I need to know. I'm actually usually not a huge fan of cliffhangers. I need some sort of completion. But sometimes they're fun... Want to read more? Find out what happens to our favourite group of Hollywood Arts students + teacher? Let me know! And what about the sixty day kiss? Hmm...**

**Fun Fact: It took me such a long time to find the right sickness for Tori. I needed something that ran a fever, wasn't contagious, didn't involve a runny nose or coughing... And it was so hard. I almost gave her sepsis, but then I found the kidney infection. Good enough! **


	19. Buried

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, but I do own a stomachache right now. Victorious would be much more pleasant to own. I need Advil. Oh god why...**

* * *

I feel a dry taste in my mouth. I had pulled my shirt over my mouth because I couldn't breathe from all the dust. I didn't want to try saying anything. I didn't want to move. I'm pretty sure I'm alive, but what if I'm the only one? What if I'm alone, in a hopeless situation… what if Tori's…

I feel the air around me get less thick as the dust settles. I'm flat across the ground and I just feel like crying. But then I hear it… a cough. And several coughs. Some people are alright other than me!

"Hrrff… Is everybody… ppllgh… alright? Can I get a road call?" Sikowitz's voice sounds. Sikowitz! I raise my head but it's pitch dark. We must be under a lot of rubble. I don't like the dark… Especially when it's dark from being buried alive.

"I'm okay." Jade's voice says.

"Me too." Beck adds.

"I'm slightly hurting." Andre states uncomfortably.

"Ahh, Andre. The statue seemed to do a number on you. How are you feeling?" Sikowitz asks.

"Just peachy." Andre mumbles. "I think it took a chunk out of my back… erg, it's burning."

"Where's Rex?!" Robbie's voice asks in a panic. I still haven't heard…

"Where's _Cat_?!" Tori's voice nearby resounds with extreme worry. This perks me up right away and I start crawling toward her voice.

"I'm right here, Tori. I'm okay." I say, reaching out my arms into the darkness.

"Oh thank god." Tori sighs, finding my arms. As soon as she gets a hold of me, she pulls me into a bone-crushing hug. I collapse into her arms and start crying softly. Not out of fear anymore. Out of relief.

"Are- are you okay?" I sniff. Tori's thumb finds its way to my cheeks and wipes some of my tears away.

"Just a little banged up. I don't think it's anything too serious though." She mutters. "You?"

"My head hurts." I admit. I feel her gingerly touch around my head.

"I don't feel any blood. I think you'll be alright." Tori assures me. I place my head in the crook of her neck and nod.

"So everybody is alive then?" Sikowitz asks. The area is filled with sounds of affirmation. "Excellent. And not just because this means I won't get sued. But because I care about you lot. How is everybody else feeling?"

"Still Rex-less but okay." Robbie mumbles.

"I feel fine." Jade says.

"I could do with a little _less _of being trapped under here but otherwise I'm uninjured." Beck answers

"Well isn't that just great for all ya'll." Andre groans.

"Can we get some light or something? Check out Andre's wound?" Tori suggests.

"Ah, great idea. Everybody can use their phone lights. While we're at it, we can call for help." Sikowitz says. Everybody shuffles as they pull out their phones. Small white lights start to illuminate everybody's faces, including mine. I look up to see Tori's face. She looks a little dusty, but other than that, she's alive. I quickly swoop up to capture her lips in mine.

"Okay, I get that the two couples in here are all happy to see each other alive, but can we _please _stop making out for one second so we can call for help and check how janked up my back is?" Andre whines. Tori and I pull apart and I catch Jade and Beck pulling apart too.

"If Rex was here, he would make a comment about how the two ladies could keep kissing." Robbie grumbles.

"You can keep what Rex might have said to yourself." Tori shoots at Robbie.

"Um, bad news, guys. I can't get service." Beck announces. I look down at my phone.

"Me neither." I state.

"Yeah, and no Wi-fi." Tori adds. Sikowitz squints at his phone.

"Hmm, perhaps there's too much disruption from the wires and piping. Intriguing." Sikowitz ponders.

"Intriguing? That's not intriguing! That's extremely worrying! How are we going to get out of here?" Tori groans, giving me a squeeze.

"Not to worry. They have to clear all this rubble eventually." Sikowitz assures.

"Eventually?" I pout.

"Whoa-ho!" Jade exclaims, pointing her phone at Andre's back. "The back of your shirt is absolutely _soaked _in blood!"

"Can you **not **sound so excited about that?" Andre groans.

"Sorry." Jade mutters.

"Somebody pull up his shirt. Carefully." Sikowitz says.

"I got it." Beck offers. We watch as he slowly drags the damp material up and Andre winces. I wince too, just looking at it.

"Ah, Andre. You will be pleased to know that although it seems like a lot of blood, the gash doesn't look very deep. I think the statue just scratched you." Sikowitz states.

"Oh, well that's good…" Andre sighs.

"Unfortunately, we might be stuck here for a while and at this rate you will still bleed out and possibly die." Sikowitz admits.

"What?!" Andre exclaims. "Man, it's the vampire moth bite all over again."

"Isn't there anything we can do?" Tori asks.

"Well, we can put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding. It's a rather large gash, though, so we'd need someone who can cover that surface area. I would do it but… seeing as I'm your teacher and the position would be mildly inappropriate…" Sikowitz trails off. We all look between each other.

"I'll do it." Beck sighs. We watch through shadows and the small sources of light as Beck leaves Jade's side and gets behind Andre. He pulls Andre's back up against his torso and wraps and his arms around Andre's waist. Both boys have sour looks on their faces.

"Nobody speak of this." Andre says bitterly.

"Man… your back is all wet and sticky." Beck grimaces.

"Don't. Speak. Of. It." Andre repeats.

"Just give my man back when you're done with him." Jade chuckles.

"Is there a better way to light up the area?" I whimper. I want to know what our situation really looks like.

"Oh, I have my PearPad. Campfire or fireplace app?" Robbie offers.

"Campfire. We can pretend we're camping or something…" Tori says.

"Alright then." Robbie says, sliding his PearPad into the middle of the circle we naturally created. He taps the screen and a campfire appears, filling our immediate area with a flickering orangey light. I let out a small gasp. We're completely surrounded by a dome of rocks and scaffolding. A little air pocket underground.

"Maybe… we can just dig our way out?" I ponder.

"Don't you _dare_ touch any of the walls." Jade warns.

"Jade's right, Cat. I don't know how stable our little shelter here is. Move one rock, and it might come tumbling down around us." Sikowitz explains. I let out a nervous squeak, burying my face into Tori's neck. She rubs my back soothingly.

"Why do I always end up trapped with you people somewhere? This is like, what, our fourth time being trapped?" Jade groans.

"It does seem to be a theme with us." Andre mumbles.

"Come on, let's visualize happy thoughts." Sikowitz suggests.

"Are you crazy? We're buried under two floors of rubble. There is **nothing **happy about this situation." Jade growls.

"Actually, technically we might be buried under five stories worth of rubble since they built three more floors on top of the oldest part of the building!" Sikowitz exclaims, as if it's an interesting fact.

"That's **not helping**." Jade groans. I feel Tori rest her head on top of mine as she starts rocking back and forth slightly. Probably trying to calm herself down as well as me. I place a small kiss on her collarbone.

"Does the campfire app have to feel so romantic?" Andre grumbles.

"I feel you." Beck states.

"Did you have to use that wording?" Andre snaps.

"Now now, no reason to get testy." Beck scolds.

"Precisely. We have to keep our heads in a situation like this. Turning on each other could spell disaster." Sikowitz reasons. I feel Tori tense suddenly.

"Hey… it's just the seven of us, right?" Tori says.

"Duh." Jade scoffs.

"Then why am I counting eight people?!" Tori exclaims. We all freeze. I start counting the silhouettes. Me, Tori, Andre, Beck, Jade, Sikowitz, Robbie… but there's an eighth silhouette between Jade and Sikowitz.

"Who is that?!" I gasp, pointing. Jade quickly whips her phone toward the figure, lighting it up. We are met with a contorted face of horror, anguish and obvious death. We all start screaming.

"Dead body dead body!" Robbie shrieks along with everyone else's screams.

"Everybody!" Sikowitz bellows. "Relax! It's just the mummy from the Egypt exhibit!" He reveals. We all stop screaming as we notice what he says is true. The mummy is half buried in rubble, sticking straight up at the torso with its gaping, dead face looking out at us.

"That's… just freaky." Tori shudders.

"And still a _very _old dead person." Robbie squeaks. Even in the dim lighting, I can tell how pale he is.

"Cool." Jade smirks.

"I wish I had Rex here. He'd make some nonchalant comment that hurts my pride but makes me think things aren't so bad. Do you think he's…?" Robbie trails off.

"Crushed under rocks? Probably." Jade states, causing Robbie to squeak again. I feel bad for him.

"Where did you leave him?" I ask.

"I don't know. I put him down when I was helping Andre as the earthquake hit." Robbie grumbles.

"Oh, I'm _so _sorry." Andre comments sarcastically. Robbie's lip trembles and Andre sighs. "No, really. I'm sorry. Thank you for helping me, man."

"What are friends for?" Robbie gives a small smile.

"Sorry about Rex." Tori frowns. She saved Rex the first time he was almost killed off. That's my girlfriend. Always caring about others. I place a kiss on her neck, making her breath hitch.

"Thanks, Tori. I mean, he's not for sure gone, right? He's bounced back before." Robbie notes.

"Right..." Tori sighs. She seems a little distracted by my smile against her neck. "Um, Sikowitz? How long do you think it will be before we're rescued?"

"It's hard to say." Sikowitz shrugs. "I mean, just like how we can't simply dig ourselves out of here, they have to be careful clearing debris so they do not harm any survivors like ourselves. It could be hours… days…"

"Days?!" Tori exclaims.

"Not to worry. I expect the latest they'll get to us is sometime tomorrow. I feel a bit of air coming from cracks in the rubble so we have air-flow and oxygen… we have water bottles and snack bars that we can ration… we'll be fine." Sikowitz assures.

"Tomorrow? But… but…" Tori stumbles. "It's very important we get out _tonight_, preferably before midnight!" Tori whines. I look at her, furrowing my brow.

"Tori, it's fine. There's no rush." Beck says.

"Yeah, why specifically today before midnight?" Jade asks.

"Because… it's a very important day." Tori mumbles. I look at her with realization.

"Oh." I breathe.

"Yeah." She sighs.

"Can somebody explain what's going on?" Andre says. Tori looks at me and I nod.

"It's… an important day for me and Tori. We decided, when we first started going out, that we would have a sixty day kiss. Since we were unsure about our feelings, we figured after sixty days we would know… and we can either continue from there or end it. No complaints. No objections." I explain.

"You created a cop out?" Jade glares us.

"Yeah…" Tori admits.

"So? Just have your sixty day kiss here." Andre suggests.

"But… it wasn't supposed to happen this way!" Tori groans. "It was supposed to be incredibly romantic, under the moonlight, by the lake she used to spend with her family. I was going to spill everything in that kiss."

"Why?" I ask, touching her chin lightly. She hesitates.

"Because… it's my last chance." She sighs. "For all I know, you still feel like you're not ready to go into a relationship. You might still be scared. But I… Oh, Cat… I'm so ready to be with you. To be patient with you and care for you in any way you want me too. And I really want that to be in a romantic relationship way. I just have no idea how to express how much I want it in words, so… I wanted to prove to you in that kiss. That I want to be that person for you. And maybe, if you were thinking of calling this off… the kiss might change your mind." Tori explains solemnly. "But I need it to be perfect, like how I pictured… not like this! Buried under rocks surrounded by our friends and teacher!"

"Tori…" I breathe, cupping her cheek. I can't believe it. She was just as worried about me leaving her as I was worried about her leaving me. And what she just said… she wants to be with me. Officially. Tears fill my eyes and I look into her own glistening eyes. I want to kiss her tears away, but I need to say my part first. "As if I could not be with you after everything."

"What?" Tori gapes.

"You've been… my everything for the longest time. I've thought of you in every waking minute. You've helped me in ways I can't ever repay you for. You've been my best friend. You helped put me back together after I was raped. You're still putting me back together. But you also taught me something more important. That even someone like me can rise above a travesty and come out stronger. I could've done this alone. But I didn't have to. I had you for support. And I want to support you as well. I want to continue to hold you, to touch you, to kiss you… And you don't have to kiss me to have me figure that out." I vent. "Although, it's just an added bonus."

"… do you really mean that?" Tori asks.

"Tori, I would choose you over bibble." I smile. Everybody lets out a surprised gasp, and we hear a crack in the rocks.

"Okay, let's make a unanimous decision to _not _intake a large amount of air collectively from now on." Sikowitz states, looking at the dome of our prison worriedly.

"Well, it seems like you two have your answer." Andre grins.

"Might as well have your sixty day kiss now." Beck smirks.

"Um…" Tori looks at me shyly.

"Oh. Here." Robbie says, taping the screen and turning everything dark. "Now we can't see. Pretend we aren't even here."

I giggle and I feel Tori's warm breath brush my face. I cup her other cheek and lean in, touching me lips to hers. She doesn't have to be so tentative. Not anymore. She deepens the kiss, pulling me closer as she runs a hand through my hair. She knows she doesn't have to spill everything she feels into this kiss now, but she does anyway. And I can feel it. The way she's holding me, like I'm fragile and precious, yet she's firmly protective. Her lips move against mine as I twist my head, catching her lips at different angles and feeling her breath. Her breath that she's breathing for me. She nips at my bottom lip before releasing me, and trailing her lips down to my neck. I gasp out loud as she firmly presses her lips around my neck, dragging her lips to my pulse and she softly sucks on it. This feels _amazing_. I feel like my chest is about to burst with overwhelming passion. She deserves this back from me.

I gasp her face and waste no time attaching our lips together once again. I need her to feel how I feel, too. She needs to know how much I trust her. Time for another risk. As I kiss her, I open my mouth slightly and slowly drag the tip of my tongue across her lower lip. She gasps and I take the opportunity to slide my tongue into her mouth. I hear a slight "mmm" as she accepts it, and pretty soon we're exploring each other's mouths, tasting each other. She's… like vanilla.

"Okay, I've been listening to them slobber all over each other for like fifteen minutes now. When is it going to end?" Jade groans.

"Shh! Don't ruin this for me!" Robbie shushes, receiving a growl from Jade. Hesitantly, me and Tori pull apart from each other, no longer wanting to make it awkward for our friends. I can feel her smile as our lips disconnect. I smile, too, and lean in again to place another short kiss on her lips. I can do that. We're together. No more worries or insecurities.

"Okay, Robbie, you can turn the PearPad back on." Tori chuckles, breathless.

"Aww, man…" Robbie sighs. The area is illuminated again when he taps the screen. I catch the look on Tori's face. It's filled with contentment and happiness. I'm sure it looks very similar to mine.

"Andre, how you holding up?" Tori asks.

"I don't know. I feel fine. My back still burns but I don't want to fall unconscious or nothing." Andre states.

"I think I stopped the bleeding." Beck claims.

"Well, better stay like that just in case." Sikowitz suggests. Beck and Andre let out a groan of discomfort.

"So, now what?" Robbie asks. "We have a lot of time to kill."

"Well… why don't we do what we usually do when we're in a situation like this?" Tori suggests.

"Try not to lose our minds?" Jade asks.

"No… sing some songs." Tori explains.

"Ah, just like what my grandma used to say before she lost her mind." Andre sighs.

"I tried to sing in the big cupcake but Jade wouldn't let me." I pout.

"For good reason." Jade sneers. Tori chuckles, giving me a squeeze.

"It actually might not be a bad idea. It could allude rescue crews to our whereabouts." Sikowitz reasons. "Nothing with too much bass, though. Vibration and falling rocks, you see."

So we started singing. Anything that came to mind. We created mash-ups and even came up with new tunes, much to Andre's excitement. Once we were tired from singing, we started telling stories. I told funny stories about my brother, Robbie lamented about the times he had with Rex, Sikowitz told us what he remembered about past vacations (and swore us to secrecy) and Jade told ghost stories that made me cuddle nervously into Tori.

"C'mon, Cat. It's not even real." Jade scoffs.

"Did you have to make it about seven people trapped in an earthquake when a mummy comes to life and eats them?" I complain. "So relatable." I whimper.

"What time is it?" Beck asks. Andre holds up his watch.

"It's almost 10pm." Andre answers.

"We've been trapped down here for seven hours." Tori groans.

"Now I'm really glad none of my shows we're on tonight…" Sikowitz mutters. "Has anybody caught wind of any sounds that might be happening above us?" He asks.

"I haven't heard anything." I say, yawning.

"Hmm… Well, there's not much we can do, then. Hopefully we'll hear construction crews digging away eventually. Does anybody want water or a granola bar?" Sikowitz offers.

"I could go for something." Robbie says.

"Same." Beck agrees.

"Cat, do you want anything?" Tori asks me.

"Nuh-uh." I murmur, shaking my head.

"Tired?" She asks.

"Yeah." I admit, yawning again.

"Sleeping is probably a good idea. It'll pass the time." Andre says. "I would sleep if I wasn't worried about not waking up."

"Don't worry, I got ya. You won't die on my watch." Beck assures him.

"Thanks, brother." Andre says.

"Seriously, I want Beck back as soon as we're out of here." Jade glowers.

"You can sleep. I'll wake you up if anything happens." Tori says to me.

"Kay, kay." I mumble. I lean into Tori and she supports my weight as I curl up to fall asleep.

"My PearPad is almost out of batteries…" I hear Robbie say.

"Best turn it off. Save it for later." Sikowitz says. The flickering light I could sense through my eyelids shuts off, and then I can only hear the crumbling of granola bar wrappers. I sigh into Tori and she runs her fingers up and down my spine. Hypnotized by the relaxing motion, I'm able to fall asleep even in this dire situation.

* * *

"Cat, honey… wake up." Tori's voice reaches me. I jolt awake.

"Wh-what?" I stammer.

"You were whimpering in your sleep." Tori sighs. "Do you still have nightmares?"

"Sometimes. Rarely." I admit.

"I guess the stressful situation brought them out." Tori reasons.

"Maybe. But otherwise I'm happy. I'm happy with you here." I say, holding her tight.

"Aww." Tori giggles.

"What time is it?" I murmur.

"Just past 5am." Tori whispers.

"5am?" I gasp.

"Yeah… I think everyone else is sleeping." She states.

"Aren't you tired?" I frown.

"Exhausted." Tori states.

"…We're you staying up to make sure I slept?" I ask.

"Maybe…"

"Tori!" I snap in a hushed voice. Of course she would

"Sorry… but it's a good thing I did, right?" Tori says. I let out a huff and shift myself a bit to pull her to my torso.

"Well now I get to hold you while you sleep." I sigh.

"Thanks, Cat." She murmurs. Tori stretches a bit before snuggling her back into me. I giggle a bit thinking about Beck and Andre sleeping the same way. Poor guys. "You can sleep too."

"I will. Sleep tight, sweetheart." I coo.

"I love it when you call me that." Tori sighs, hugging my arms to her waist. It doesn't take long for her to pass out, her head rolling to the side a bit as she succumbs to unconsciousness. I wonder what she dreams about.

I know I told her I would go back to sleep, but I don't. I can't sleep sitting up, and I don't want to disrupt her sleep by lying down on the hard, dusty floor. I guess I see where she was coming from by staying up to make sure I slept. Instead I let my mind wander, and focus on Tori's soft breathing.

It's crazy to say that I'm happy. Okay, maybe not crazy to say that _I'm _happy. But… Not too long ago I never thought I'd be happy again. And now I'm in a dangerous and bleak situation, but I'm happy. My only concern now is… my parents. They must be so worried… Oh yeah, my parents. They still don't know about me and Tori. That's not a little concern. That's a huge concern. I need to think about how I'm going to tackle that…

Also, I really want some candy or something right now.

And then I hear it. A muffled buzzing sound off in the distance. Somewhere above us. And a roar of an engine. It's faint, and far away, but it's there.

"Cat." I hear in a hushed whisper. "You still up?"

"Yeah." I answer back in a whisper. Tori stirs a little bit but doesn't wake up. "Why are you awake, Jade? I thought you could sleep through anything."

"I just woke up not too long ago. I feel wide awake. I heard you talking to Vega earlier. Do you hear that?" Jade asks.

"The machines? Yeah." I nod. "I guess this means we're getting out soon."

"Or it could mean we're going to get crushed soon." Jade sighs.

"Why so negative?" I frown.

"I can't help myself sometimes." Jade states. "Know what I do feel positive about?"

"What?"

"You and Vega. I mean, I still think she's stupid and full of herself, but I guess it's cool that she makes you happy." Jade mutters.

"She does make me happy." I smile. "Maybe you can try to get along with her better?"

"Not a chance, Cat." Jade smirks. "Some people just weren't meant to get along."

"Fine." I sigh. There's a large crash up above and the rocks shift a bit around us. A little rain of sediment and dust crumbles down, causing me to squeak.

"God, can't those idiots be more careful?!" Jade hisses.

"Hrrrm? What? Mother, is that you?" Sikowitz jolts awake. "Oh thank the lord. It's not my mother. We're just still trapped under debris for an unknown length of time."

"Sikowitz, there's sounds happening." I say.

"Sounds? Like machines and digging?" He asks.

"I think so." I mutter.

"Aw, finally." Andre yawns, also waking up.

"You're not Jade at all." Beck comments.

"Yes, and I'd kindly ask you to stop _thinking _of me as such." Andre grumbles.

"Uh… yeah…" Beck says apologetically.

"Hey babe." Jade says.

"Morning, love." Beck mumbles. I hear the smack of their lips together.

"So how long until they reach-" Andre starts, but is cut off by another loud crash and sequential shaking of our dome. Everyone awake cries out in fear.

"I swear I'm going to cut those people if they don't start being more careful!" Jade snaps.

"Shh! Tori's sleeping." I warn.

"So is Robbie." Beck says.

"Not to worry, everyone. I'm sure they know what they're doing." Sikowitz says.

"And if they don't?" Andre asks.

"Then we can panic." Sikowitz answers. I let out a whimper. "We don't know that they don't know what they're doing. So there's no reason to waste energy thinking about it."

"And what should we be wasting energy on, exactly? We're trapped in a dome with a ten foot diameter!" Jade huffs.

"You measured?" Beck asks.

"I get bored." Jade sighs.

"Well, you can think about the Greek Tragedy assignment. That way the trip won't go to waste." Sikowitz suggests. We let out a groan. "Sweet jibblets am I ever craving some coconut milk…"

We wait silently as Tori keeps slumbering away in my arms. I can't imagine that she was able to stay asleep through all our talking, but she was for sure asleep now. She must've been so tired. As time passes, the machines get louder and the trembling becomes more frequent. The rocks can't collapse on us now. Not when I have so much to look forward to. I have dreams to fulfill. Places to visit. Experiences to have. Dates to go on…

Around 8:30am we start to hear voices. This is enough to make me wake Tori up. "Tori, time to get up. I think it's time to be rescued." I murmur softly into her ear. She moans slightly, shifting her head a bit at the sound of my voice.

"I do believe Cat is right. A bit more light is flooding in here. I'll wake up Robbie." Sikowitz states. He perches right next to Robbie in a squatting position, poking him slightly. "Robbie. Robbie… SHAPIRO!"

"Waaah!" Robbie cries, jumping out of sleep. "Geez, Sikowitz! Way to make me almost wazz myself!"

"_Almost_? I mean, none of us have had access to a bathroom for a long time…" Jade jeers.

"I didn't wazz myself!" Robbie groans. By now Tori is fully awake, watching the developments with a furrowed brow. She turns her head to look up at me.

"Thanks for not waking me up like that." Tori sighs. I giggle and lean over to give her a good morning kiss. She smiles, shifting herself so that she's sitting upright beside me, an arm around my waist. I place my own arm around her shoulder, hugging her close. "So, the workers have almost made their way to us?"

"Yeah, still no service on my phone though." Beck says.

"What do we do now?" Robbie asks.

"Draw attention to ourselves. Like Tori's idea of singing." Sikowitz beams.

Robbie pipes up, "I vote for a round of row-row-row your-"

"NO!" Jade snaps. I think Robbie _is _going to wazz himself.

"Or we could just do the classic yelling for help." Beck suggests. There's a pause, and then…

"HELP!" We all start screaming at the same time. We yell for a good twenty minutes.

"It's no use." I pout.

"Don't give up hope." Tori tips my chin up at her. We share a smile, and then the ceiling opens up.

"Hey! Is anyone down there?" Shouts a voice from above. The light flooding in is intense, so we have to shield our eyes.

"Yes! There's seven of us! Eight if you include the mummy! I have taken to naming him or her Jericho!" Sikowitz shouts up. We all shake our heads.

"What? …Never mind. Are any of you injured?" The voice shouts.

"One of us!" Beck answers.

"Okay, get them to a place we can see them and we'll pull them out first." He instructs. We all shuffle to Andre and Beck as we help Andre get into the middle of the hole. Not long after, a man in a harness slides down and hooks Andre up to himself, pulling him out to safety. This is probably the part where, if we were a movie, dramatic happy music would be playing as we're pulled out one by one. I'm guessing something with lots in the string section, and symbols.

I'm the third one to get pulled out, after Jade. As soon as I reach solid ground, I'm met with applause. First from the rescue workers and then from the large crowd of people surrounding the wreckage.

"Cat! Oh, my baby!" I hear scream. I look over to see my parents sprinting towards me, but firemen holds them back.

"I don't care if it's dangerous! That's my daughter!" My dad shouts.

"Mom! Dad!" I yell, running towards them. I get past the firemen and leap into my mom's arms. I admit, I'm not as exposed to my mom as I am with Tori, so I have to squirm away. But, I still wipe away her tears as my dad pats me on the back.

"Are you okay? Were you scared?" My mom asks.

"I was for a bit. But it wasn't all bad." I admit. "I think we kind of got lucky for earthquake survivors."

"You've been through so much." My dad sighs. "I'm starting to think about never letting you leave your room."

"Excuse me, Miss. We need to give you a medical assessment." A paramedic says, coming up to me.

"But I feel fine other than my head hurting a little." I say.

"Well we'll need to check you for a concussion, and also see if we can clear your lungs from anything harmful." The paramedic explains.

"Okay… just give me a moment with my parents." I request.

"Very well." The paramedic agrees.

I hold my parents hands as they talk to me solemnly about how they were so scared they'd never see me again. As I tell them we actually had some fun singing songs and telling stories, I catch Tori's eye. She had gotten out and was being hugged by her parents and even Trina. We share a look over her dad's shoulder. As ridiculously happy as we are to see our families again, we know that they're also our next objective.

They need to know about us.

* * *

**Author's Notes: ****So, this was either incredibly unrealistic to how the situation would really unfold, or they're just extremely lucky people. Let's go with the second one, shall we? Now then, Cat and Tori have decided they're in this for the long haul. So I need to know - am I writing the romance well? There's a fair amount in this chapter, and there will be more in later chapters - lots more. I need to know if I'm doing well with describing and making all of you feel warm fuzzy thoughts etc etc. **

**And okay, I need to get this out because it's been on my mind due to recent events - the Cori ship. What up with it not having that much of a following as other ships in the fandom? I mean, I admit when the series started I shipped Bori, but as I watched Cat and Tori interact I thought the idea of them together was absolutely adorable (and Bade captured my heart as well). Like I know it's not realistic in the sense of the universe, but is it just me who just wants them together? Obviously not, since you're reading this... But I digress, I think the ship needs more love. I know it's the reason I'm so dedicated to this story. And if it's about the Victoria/Ariana fight... They're not their characters. As much as I'd love for them to be friends again, I don't ship them. I ship Cat and Tori. Friends fight and drift apart, man. They're only human. I love them both as people and I recognize their individual talent. I hope the fighting stops between everyone eventually. Anyway, rant over. Also, happy belated birthday to Ariana Grande!  
**

**Fun Fact: When I was first working on this chapter, an earthquake happened in my neck of the woods which is a pretty rare occurrence despite a large fault line being nearby. My writing now dictates nature. Fear me.**


	20. The Frightening Moments

**Author's Note: Fanfiction has been crashing on me a lot today... wish me luck while editing and posting! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own things. These things include Victorious. And Halloween. And charity concerts. Well damn this disclaimer is slightly spoilery.**

* * *

It's been a week after the earthquake. An 8.4 magnitude, I think the people on the news said. Generally, L.A. is set up to take earthquakes pretty well, even bad ones. We just had bad luck being in one of the less structurally sound places in the city. Everyone other than us had got out of that section of museum safely. The museum still lost thousands of dollars in priceless artifacts and other exhibits, but it's better than losing lives. Besides, the virtual reality exhibit was basically unharmed, due to being in a newer part of the building.

We were actually lucky, though. They've been calling our story on the news a "miracle". I guess it was. Other people… weren't so lucky. A lot of people were injured. Andre being one of them. He's been wrapped up in bandages and walks a little funny at school but otherwise he's going to make a full recovery. That's the kind of mummy I like.

Then there are those even less fortunate. It was only a hand full, but people died. I can't imagine what their families are going through. I know each life is precious, and so it hurts and makes me sad to know people were lost in a tragedy.

"You look sad." Tori murmurs. She's lying next to me on her side. We're on her bed, taking one of our many study breaks. I _really _don't think I have to point out we're fully clothed. If we were doing more than just lying here, I would probably point that out. This was our first time spending any alone time together since getting out of the shambles of the earthquake. After being checked out by medical personal and released, we were immediately busy with the media. America loves a miracle story. We were always giving interviews and stories about our experiences. Some of the videos even got hundreds of thousands of hits on Splashface.

"I am sad." I pout. She reaches over and drags her hand up and down my arm soothingly.

"Talk to me." She says.

"I can't stop thinking about why we survived when other people died." I mutter. Tori frowns.

"I know what you mean… I can't answer that question, Cat. No one can. Call it fate… call it luck… It's just best not to think of it that way. Every day is a gift, you know? We made it, and we should cherish it." Tori reasons. "It's devastating that other people don't get that chance… but we can't let that hold us back."

"I guess…" I sigh. "I just wish there was something I could do."

"Cat…" Tori sighs. Then she furrows her brow and pushes her lips together.

"You have your thinking face." I observe.

"It's 'cause I'm thinking." She smiles. "Maybe… there is a way we can help. You know, while we're still hyped up in the news. While we're still considered the 'Surviving Seven'." Tori says, using the pet name the media gave our group.

"Really? What can we do?" I ask, propping my head up on my elbow.

"I was thinking, maybe we could do a charity concert. At like, Halloween or something. Throw a rocking party where people have to pay to get in. Give them some spooks. Have a good time. And then the seven of us - well, actually, maybe just six unless Sikowitz really wants to – can perform some songs and we'll stream it online for the world. People can donate while they watch. All the proceeds can go towards the families who lost loved ones during the earthquake and other earthquake relief." Tori suggests. I sit up on my knees, gaping at her.

"Tori… that… is… _genius!_" I exclaim. "Can we do it? How do we do it? You're amazing." I start bouncing up and down, causing Tori to roll on her back and laugh.

"I'll bring it up with everybody tomorrow. We can start spreading the word." She chuckles. I stop bouncing, grinning at her.

"You're amazing." I repeat. She smiles and blushes.

"So are you. You have so much compassion for people. It… inspires me." Tori states. My smile becomes wider and I stoop down to give her a long kiss. Her hand runs through my hair as I once again slip my tongue into her mouth, and she reciprocates. Eventually we pull apart, breathless. She looks at me and her smile falls. "You still look upset." She frowns.

"I'm still sad we can't bring any of them back." I pout. She looks long and hard at me before sitting up. I watch as her lips press together and her brow furrows. "You're thinking again." I note.

"I know." Tori chuckles. She grabs my hands in hers. "I think I know… something that might cheer you up." She says slowly. I tilt my head at her. Like what? Ice cream? I'll feel bad enjoying ice cream while people are in pain.

"What's that?" I ask.

"Come on." She smirks, pulling me up from the bed. I giggle as she leads me from her room and downstairs to the piano. She slides onto the bench and pats the seat beside her. I sit down next to her, hips touching.

"Now what?" I ask. She takes a deep breath.

"I… wrote this song for someone else a year ago. They didn't appreciate it very much. It dawned on me recently that… this song fits better now if I sing it to you. I remixed a bit for piano only. I was going to sing it to you on our sixty days but… well, better late than never." Tori explains. I lick my lips and smile.

"Okay, I'm ready." I state. She nods and poises her hands over the piano keys. She starts playing and I recognize it immediately.

"_I don't want to make a scene  
I don't want to let you down  
Try to do my own thing  
And I'm starting to figure it out  
That it's alright  
Keep it together, wherever we go  
And it's alright, oh well, whatever  
Everybody needs to know_

_You might be crazy_  
_Have I told you lately, that I love you?_  
_You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly_  
_And it's crazy that someone could change me_  
_Now no matter what it is I have to do, I'm not afraid to try_  
_And you need to know that you're the reason why_

_I don't even care when they say you're a little bit off_  
_Look me in the eye, I say_  
_I could never get enough_  
_'Cause it's alright_  
_Keep it together, wherever we go_  
_And it's alright, oh well, whatever_  
_Everybody needs to know_

_You might be crazy,  
Have I told you lately, that I love you?  
You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly  
And it's crazy that someone could change me  
Now no matter what it is I have to do, I'm not afraid to try  
And you need to know that you're the reason why_

_If it was raining, I would yell at the sun  
Pick up the pieces when the damage is done  
You say it's just another day in the shade  
But look at what a mess we've made_

_You might be crazy,  
Have I told you lately, that I love you?  
You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly  
You might be crazy,  
Have I told you lately, that I love you?  
You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly  
And it's crazy that someone could change me  
Now no matter what it is I have to do, I'm not afraid to try  
And you need to know that you're the reason why_

_I don't want to make a scene, I don't want to let you down…_"

Tori pulls her hands off the piano and looks at me. I'm staring at her intensely, and I'm pretty sure there're tears in my eyes. Those lyrics…

"It was like… at first I was scared of what dating you would mean for me. For us. But I realized I don't care what people think. Together we're unstoppable, and even though people think you're crazy, or quirky… I think you're perfect. And yeah, you inspire me." Tori explains, shyly looking away from my eyes. I softly cup her face in my hand, making her look at me.

"Tori… I love-"

"I might be CRAZY but have I told you LATELY that I love you you're the only reason that… I'm… la la la la la!" A screeching voice interrupts from upstairs. My hand slips down to the side of Tori's neck as we turn our heads to see Trina walking down the stairs. "I heard you singing that useless song, baby sister. I hope you're not planning on using that piano version this year or something. Remember, it's next week!" Trina proclaims.

"Trinaaaa!" Tori whines. Trina notices our close proximity and our deer-caught-in-headlights expressions. She gives us a smirk.

"I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?" Trina grins.

"A little bit!" Tori glares.

"Oh, well if it was just a little bit…" Trina scoffs. She comes over to the piano and leans her elbows up on it. I take my hand off Tori's neck and lace my fingers with her hand instead. "So, when are you finally going to tell mom and dad about… this." Trina waggles a finger between the two of us.

"We were going to tonight. After dinner." Tori states.

"Oh thank god!" Trina flips herself dramatically so that her back is against the top of the piano. "It was getting so frustrating keeping my jokes to myself around the 'rents. Like yesterday when mom asked you if you had your eye on any boy at school. It took _everything _in me being not to say 'No boy is good enough for Tori. Lesbi-honest'. I mean, that's comedy gold!" Trina groans. Tori glares at her for a moment, but her face softens.

"Thanks for keeping it a secret for so long, though. Seriously." Tori mumbles. Trina gets a smug look as she flips upright and walks to the edge of the piano bench.

"What are sisters for?" Trina says sweetly. Then she drops her voice, "You owe me big time."

"I know, I know…" Tori sighs. Trina looks over at me.

"Try not to break my baby sister's heart, 'kay?" Trina taps me on the end of my nose, making me wrinkle it.

"Kay, kay." I agree. She smiles as she heads into the kitchen to get something from the fridge. Tori gives me an apologetic look and I just giggle. "I liked the song." I say.

"Good. I'm glad. It's all for you, now." Tori smiles.

"**What?!**" Trina snaps from the kitchen.

"Nothing!" Tori assures quickly. Trina's about to say something else when the front door pops open. Tori and Trina's parents walk in with bags of stuff.

"Girls, we're home from Wanko's!" Mrs. Vega announces.

"We've got underwear in bulk." Mr. Vega adds.

"I've also got the ingredients for family pot pie." Mrs. Vega chuckles. She looks over to the piano and sees me. "Hi Cat, are you staying for dinner?"

"Yes, she is." Tori answers.

"If that's okay." I add.

"Of course. You're always welcome here, Cat." Mrs. Vega smiles. The Vegas were used to me being over often now. I exchange a look with Tori.

I guess soon they'll know why.

* * *

"**That **was delicious!" I exclaim.

"Now you know why I was so upset when Andre ate it all that one time." Tori chuckles.

"You were really upset." I giggle, remembering her texting me a bunch of random letters in rage.

"Yes, thank you for saving some for us unlike some of Tori's other friends." Tori's mom says.

"Well, Cat's a very special 'friend', mom." Trina pipes up. Both Tori and I shoot a look at Trina, who is unaffected as she smirks at us. Tori's dad raises an eyebrow. "Would you look at the time! I have some very important, talent nurturing stuff I need to take care of. So I'm just going to leave the four of you. Alone. Who knows what you'll talk about? Bye!" Trina saunters off quickly, singing another bad rendition of "You're The Reason". Tori puts her head in her hands with a groan.

"That girl." Mrs. Vega shakes her head. Mr. Vega pushes back his chair.

"Well, time to go downstairs and digest this while I do paperwork." He stretches.

"Oh, wait. I need to talk to you." Tori says. She looks over at her mom. "I need to talk to both of you."

"Is it important?" Tori's mom asks.

"Well… yeah. It's probably one of the most important things I'll ever tell you." Tori mutters, shifting uncomfortably. I can tell she's getting nervous. Mrs. Vega studies her daughter for a bit before crossing her arms, giving a disappointed look and sighing.

"Tori, I thought we taught you to use protec-"

"Mom! No!" Tori yells, horrified. "It's… not that! It's something else." She claims. I swear I hear Trina cackling upstairs. Tori's mom goes around the table and sits next to her husband.

"Alright, spill." She urges.

"Should Cat be here? Is it for moral support?" Tori's dad asks. Tori looks over at me. We had decided we would do this together. I nod and turn back to her dad.

"Actually, Mr. Vega… I'm part of it." I admit. Tori's dad raises an eyebrow again and leans back in his chair.

"Okay…" He says.

"You see… mom, dad…" Tori starts. "Cat and I… we're…"

"Together." I finish for her. Her parents look between us, confused.

"…Together on what?" Tori's mom says.

"Like, together. Romantically." Tori explains. "We're dating."

"So," Mr. Vega says slowly. "You're saying you and Cat are… gay."

"I… suppose so." Tori mumbles.

"Together?" Tori's mom asks, looking at me.

"Yes." I answer. They both blink at us.

"Since when?" Her dad asks.

"Um… I'd imagine since birth but I only figured it out just recently…" Tori explains.

"No, no. I mean, since when have you two been going out?" Mr. Vega asks.

"Oh… j-just over two months." Tori blushes. I can see her getting fidgety so I figure I should loosen the load off her shoulders.

"You see, Mr. and Mrs. Vega… I liked Tori for a long time, but I didn't know how she felt about me. Then after the whole… Derek thing, I found out she liked me too, so we tried going out. And we discovered we really like being together." I reveal, giving Tori a smile. She returns a small, shy smile. Her parents exchange a look.

"Cat… could you leave us alone to talk to Tori for a moment?" Tori's dad requests.

"Sure." I agree, standing up. But Tori touches my arm, making me pause.

"Wait, Cat." She orders, and then turns to her parents. "Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of Cat."

Her parent's exchange a look again. "Tori, honey, we _really _would prefer it if Cat wasn't here for this." Her mom says.

"I don't care. We wanted to talk to you together." Tori states. Her parents let out a sigh.

"Fine. Sit down, Cat." Mr. Vega says. Tori holds my hand as I sit back down.

"So, what do you want to say?" Tori asks.

"Listen, Tori… I heard that phone recording in the court room…" Tori's dad starts. We both shudder a little. "So I knew since then that Cat had… feelings for you." He explains.

"Oh." I mumble. So he did hear that. He looks at me solemnly.

"Cat, you went through a very traumatic time there. You're probably still wrestling with it. And, although I'm sure you didn't mean to, you threw Tori into the middle of it." Tori's dad explains. I look down at the ground, ashamed.

"After your father heard the tape, he talked to me about some concerns. We sort of saw this coming." Mrs. Vega sighs. "Tori, you are a very kind, generous person, which is how we raised you. And we are very proud of you. We also know that Cat is one of your best friends, and she's sweet and innocent. We thought that you might do anything to make her feel better after what happened to her."

"What are you saying?" Tori asks, suspicious.

"We're just saying that we hope you're not trying to be someone you're not for Cat's sake." Mr. Vega explains. I feel and see Tori tense up. Does he mean… that Tori has only been pretending to like me because she feels bad for me? So that my feelings wouldn't get hurt? …No, Tori's not like that… She wouldn't do that…

"I wouldn't do that." Tori states.

See?

"Tori, you should be honest now…" Mrs. Vega starts.

"I _am _being honest." Tori snaps. "This… what I'm feeling… it's real. I'm attracted to a girl. I'm attracted to Cat. I want to be with Cat. She makes me happy. Are you going to accept this part of me, or are you just going to doubt it?" She fumes. Tori's parents look taken aback.

"Of course not, honey. We just wanted to make sure." Tori's mom says.

"We're very fond of Cat. And we're happy that she makes you happy. As long as you're sure." Tori's dad adds.

"I've never been more sure." Tori declares. Mr. Vega gives a nod.

"Then there's no problem." He says, and then looks at me. "As long as Cat is the partner that my little pumpkin deserves."

"I will be, sir." I smile. Her parents smile back at me and Tori gives a sigh of relief.

"Do your parents know?" Tori's mom asks. Now it's my turn to be tense.

"Um… no, not yet. I know they won't be as accepting as you, so I'm waiting a little longer to tell them." I explain shyly.

"Well, don't wait too long. When it all comes down to it they are your parents, after-all." Tori's dad assures me.

"Kay, kay." I agree quietly. The idea still terrifies me. I just don't want my own parents to hate me. I especially don't want them to hate Tori.

"Great. Glad that's out of the way. I'm just going to avoid the awkward silence after coming out. C'mon, Cat. Let's go up to my room." Tori says, pulling me up with her.

"Ah, ah, ah. I don't think so, young lady." Tori's mom scolds.

"What?" Tori asks, confused.

"Just because Cat is a girl doesn't mean the rules suddenly don't apply to you. No boyfriends _or _girlfriends alone with you in your bedroom." Mrs. Vega declares. Oh, dang it!

"Seriously?! We're just going to do homework." Tori whines.

"Well then you can do homework in the living room." Her mom states.

"Dad!" Tori looks to her father for help.

"Listen to your mother, pumpkin." Her dad says, getting up and giving Tori a kiss on the cheek. "Proud of you." He ruffles the hair on top of her head before heading off to the basement.

"Ugh." Tori scoffs. I giggle and squeeze her hand. Well, we wanted them to know.

* * *

"He's not the same." Robbie pouts at the lunch table the next day. School reopened after all the damage from the earthquake had been fixed.

"Who? Your new… um… sidekick?" Andre asks.

"Yeah… I mean, Buzz is okay, I guess… He insults me just as much as Rex." Robbie mutters.

"That's… good?" Tori says.

"But I think he might have some sort of… psychotic tendencies." Robbie explains.

"I like him better than Rex already. Oh wait, that was never much in the first place." Jade comments.

"What makes you think he has 'psychotic tendencies'?" Beck asks.

"Well… for the past few nights when I've been sleeping, I'll wake up suddenly and I _swear _he's standing over me with a butcher knife!" Robbie exclaims.

"That sounds scary." I mutter.

"It is! But when I blink and check again, he's sleeping soundly beside me." Robbie explains.

"Maybe you're just paranoid." Beck suggests.

"Or mentally insane, as usual." Jade states.

"Maybe. I left him at home today because I'm worried he might hurt somebody." Robbie sighs.

"Rex tried to kill Trina before. What's the difference?" Tori asks.

"Rex didn't try to _kill _Trina. Just brutally injure!" Robbie defends, causing Tori to scoff. "I think Buzz might actually kill someone if he gets the chance, though."

"So why don't you just… I don't know… change his personality?" Andre suggests.

"Ha! Good one Andre. As if you can just change a person's personality." Robbie laughs.

"Yeah… Person." Andre shakes his head at shoots Tori a look that calls into question Robbie's sanity. She gives a chuckle.

"I did see the picture you posted on The Slap, though. He looks like something out of a Goosebumps book." Beck notes. I nudge Tori with my leg under the table.

"Oh, speaking of which," Tori says, reacting to the nudge. "Cat and I had an idea."

"It was really just Tori." I smile.

"You helped too." Tori chuckles.

"What is it?" Andre asks.

"Well… Halloween is next Thursday… so we were thinking that might give us enough time to spread the word about a charity concert and party we're holding that day." Tori announces.

"Concerts and parties? I like the sound of this." Andre claps his hands together and winces from the back pain.

"Charity for what?" Beck asks.

"Earthquake relief. For those who were affected by the earthquake." I explain.

"We would stream the concert online… have people all over the world donate…" Tori lists off.

"Sounds good to me." Beck states.

"Yeah I'm in. I'll see if I can write us a new jam for the night." Andre offers.

"I think it's a great idea!" Robbie beams at me.

"Sure." Jade says begrudgingly, sipping at her can of soda.

"Great! Now we just need to promote it… and we need a house for a Halloween party." Tori says slowly. Everyone looks at Jade.

"…What? Why is everyone looking at me?" Jade stares.

"We thought you'd be into the whole Halloween and horror stuff." Tori explains.

"At the risk of sounding like Cat let me just ask, what's that supposed to mean?" Jade snaps.

"…What's that supposed to mean?" I mumble.

"But your house… at least your room… is already pretty freaky…" Robbie says.

"And how do you know what my room looks like?" Jade shoots at Robbie.

"From The Slap." Robbie says quickly.

"But Jade, we figured you'd have tons of ideas to for decorating a spooky house for a party!" I plead.

"She's not going to say yes…" Beck warns.

"Why not?" Tori asks.

"Because I hate Halloween!" Jade shouts.

"What? You. The princess of darkness. Hates Halloween." Tori states incredulously.

"_Queen _of darkness and there's nothing remotely spooky or horrifying about Halloween. It's a day for little children to dress up in cute costumes while they beg people for candy. And then adult males like Halloween because they get a little eye-candy from the adult females showing a bit more skin than usual." Jade rants.

"I love candy." I giggle.

"See." Jade notes, nodding at me. "It's a day more suited for people like Cat. I'm more of a Day of the Dead kind of person."

"You aren't even Mexican!" Tori scoffs.

"Yeah well you aren't even Celtic, why do you celebrate Halloween?" Jade shoots back.

"It's not the point!" I cry, causing everyone to stop. "The point is to raise money for people who are in the midst of a tragedy right now! To help in any way we can." I mumble. The table stares at me for a moment. Tori loops her arm around me and Jade huffs, slumping back in her seat.

"Look, I'm all about helping those people who were less fortunate than us…" Jade starts.

"Oh, are you?" Tori scoffs.

"_Yes. _I'm not completely heartless. But I will **not **use my house to pander to such a stupid holiday." Jade states.

"Please, Jade." I pout.

"No."

"C'mon, babe." Beck urges.

"No."

"I'll buy you lunch for a month." Tori offers.

"NO!"

"Just forget it. We can hold it at my house or something." Andre says.

"Is your house even scary?" I ask.

"My grandma will be there." Andre states.

"…That's a start." Tori sighs. At that moment, two girls from the sophomore year come over to our table.

"Hi, guys." One says.

"Hiiii!" I say with enthusiasm.

"We just wanted to say we're really glad you're all okay." The other girl says.

"We really admire your group." The first girl adds. We had been approached like this all day. It was nice to feel so appreciated. Just another reminder of how our school is the best.

"Aw, thanks guys. That's really sweet." Tori smiles.

"If there's anything we can do to help, let us know." One of the girls says, and they start to walk away. Jade lets out a frustrated groan.

"Oh, may the ancestors forgive me… Hey! You two!" Jade calls out to the girls. They turn around, looking scared. "If you want to help out, come to our party and concert for earthquake relief on Halloween. Spread the word. My house. Be there. Or else." Jade glares.

"Y-yes, Jade." One of the girls stammers, and then they scamper off. Jade turns back to our beaming faces.

"Yeah, whatever…" Jade sighs. "Don't hug me." She shoots at me. I may have already been standing up to give her one. I sit back down and pout.

"Great." Tori grins. "Now on to the next order of business… it's Trina's birth week and I still have no idea what to get her…"

Everyone at the table groans.

* * *

"Buzz? Has anyone seen Buzz? Oh, no…" Robbie panics, running past me and Tori. It's the night of the party, and the attendance is staggering. Five dollar entrance fee, and we've already made over one-thousand. We haven't even started the concert stream yet. Good thing Jade has a big house.

Speaking of, Jade really out-did herself. The main floor of the house was strung up with lights and speakers she borrowed from the Hollywood Arts tech department, plus a bunch of creepy decorations. It was perfect for mingling and dancing. The basement she had decked out as a full on haunted house – apparently things pop out at you! Tori tried to get me to go down there earlier but I refused. The upstairs had Halloween themed games, and a bloody sign on Jade's door saying "If I catch you making out in here, you _**DIE**_!"

I knew she had the Halloween spirit. No candy, though. Darn. But it's okay, I still get the 'eye-candy'. Tori is dressed in a sexy but subtle devil costume. I could get used to seeing her curves shown off like this. It made me wish I hadn't dressed so cute… A Dalmatian, with a black and white spotted dress. I thought it was ironic, 'cause my name is Cat and I'm dressed as a dog.

"It's going well, huh?" Tori asks.

"Yeah, lots of people." I mutter. I shudder as someone brushes past me to get by. I sidle up to Tori.

"Oh, Cat, is the close quarters with so many people making you uncomfortable?" Tori asks, concerned.

"I little bit." I admit. She nods and reaches for my hand.

"Come on, we'll find an area a little less crowded." Tori assures me. I give her a kiss on the cheek and she leads me carefully around the waves of people. Jade comes around the corner as we're leaving.

"Hey, I know I agreed to this, but it really wazzes me off when people steal medicine from our bathroom cabinet." Jade glares.

"Somebody stole meds?" Tori gapes.

Jade shrugs. "It's just Advil but yeah… I don't know how they're expecting to get high off of-"

"Did you say somebody stole pills?" Robbie gasps. His brow furrows. "Buzz… it must be Buzz's doing! He's planning something… oh, my god! The beverages!" He grabs Jade's arm. "We have to stop him!" Robbie starts to drag off an annoyed Jade.

"Here we go…" Jade rolls her eyes.

"DON'T DRINK THE PUNCH!" Robbie cries, running through the crowd with Jade. Tori and I look at each other. She smiles and shrugs.

"Let's go outside. Get some air." Tori suggests.

"Kay, kay." I giggle. We head outside the back door and pass all the smokers (making my nose wrinkle). We walk around the corner of the house and into Jade's patio. It's actually a really nice backyard area. There are statues, flower beds, lights, and fountains. Jade's mom is really into gardening. It's roped off with caution tape because Jade's mom made her swear that none of the party goers would head into the garden. Tori must be feeling rebellious. She pulls me over to a stone bench next to a koi pond and sits me down.

"Feel better?" She asks, sitting beside me.

"Mhm." I nod, leaning into her.

"You look cute, by the way." Tori says.

"Thanks. But I'm nothing compared to you. You look absolutely gorgeous like that." I mutter.

"You like that I'm a bad girl?" Tori chuckles. I lean my head off her and look at her.

"I like that you're a good girl who can pull off a bad girl look." I grin, wrapping my arms around her neck.

"Well, I wish there were one-hundred-and-one of you." Tori smiles, tapping my nose.

"Sorry, there's only one of me." I giggle and blush.

"You can say that again. One of a kind." Tori states. I'm about to open my mouth to ask what she means by that, but she leans her face in close. "And that just makes you that much more special." She murmurs with a grin. I grin back and give her a kiss. When I pull back, my mouth drops a little and I raise my eyebrows. Tori looks at me curiously. "…You have _your _thinking face, Cat."

"I do?" I giggle. She's right. I was thinking. I know it's stupid, but I can't stop thinking about what her dad said about Tori pretending to like me because she feels sorry for me.

"Yeah. Want to tell me what's going on in that brain of yours?" Tori requests. I turn away shyly and look at the ground.

"…Can you be honest with me?" I ask. Tori pauses for a moment.

"Of course, Cat."

"I mean, like… completely honest. You have to promise." I mumble, still not looking at her.

"I promise. I'll be one hundred percent honest with you. I swear on… Trina's life." Tori states. I look at her suspiciously. "Okay, okay. My life." Tori chuckles. I turn back to look at the ground, not smiling. "Hey, what's up?" Tori ask, reaching around my back and putting her hands on both my shoulders.

"Is this… real?" I ask. Again, Tori pauses.

"What do you mean?" She asks softly.

"I mean, us… Do you really want to be with me?" I choke out.

"What? Where is this coming from? Cat, of course I do. I thought we determined that during the earthquake fiasco." Tori says. I turn my head to look at her with tears in my eyes.

"Do you swear that's how you really feel?" I ask. "Or are you just saying that to make me feel better about what's happened to me? To give me some hope in life?"

Tori takes her hands off my shoulders and stares at me in shock. "Oh." She glowers.

"Because if that's true… I'd much rather you just… tell me now before I fall even further for you. Don't lead me on, Tori." I mumble. "It'll just hurt me more in the long run."

"So this is about what my parents said?" Tori asks. I nod and she drops her eyes. When she looks at me again, her eyes are glistening. "Is that what you really think?"

"I don't know what to think." I admit.

"Cat, that hurts." Tori's voice trembles. "That _really, _really hurts."

"I'm sorry, I just… I need to know." I turn away again. I hate that I've hurt her. She stands up and paces in front of me for a bit before standing in front of me.

"Why do you like me?" Tori poses the question.

"What?" I say, looking up at her face in confusion. I wish I hadn't looked. Her face looks more hurt than when I slapped her.

"Why do you even like me? What is it about me that drew you to me?" Tori asks again.

"I… that's a long list." I mutter.

"Better get started." Tori crosses her arms.

"T… Tori…" I sigh. "You're incredible. You genuinely care about everyone around you. Even Jade, who hates you. You're determined, and will do anything to make sure your goals are achieved – something I've always admired about you. You're humble even though you have so much talent. You'd jump at the chance to help anyone. To make someone laugh. It's like my emotions are on over-drive when it comes to you. When you're happy, I'm even happier. When you're hurt and sad… like now… I feel devastated. Your presence is just so… warm. I can't even describe it. It's like… when I'm around you, I know I'm safe. I know I can trust you. I feel… complete." I try to explain.

"So if you feel all that for me, if you fell for me because of all that… how could you **possibly **believe I would lead you on? That I would… **pretend **to like you. Fake all those touches, all those kisses, all those intimate moments... Because, Cat, every moment I'm with you, it's like my soul is on fire. In the best way possible. You brighten me up. You know how the smallest of touches can cause you anxiety? The smallest of touches that you give me drives me _crazy_. It overwhelms me because I'm just so into you. It's like electricity. And to think that you'd believe for a second that all these sensations I feel around you aren't real? That's just so utterly _insulting _and _demeaning_." Tori fumes. I stare at her for a moment, a lump in my throat. How could I ever believe something like that about Tori? I burst out crying, placing my head in my hands.

"I'm s-sorry, Tori. I-I'm messed up. I'm messed up now. I c-can't get over th-the feeling that everyone, even you, is just going to betray me." I sob. "D-Derek messed me up so bad. You don't deserve this. You d-deserve so much b-better." I cry hysterically. Of course I would hurt the girl of my dreams. Of course I would ruin the only thing making me happy right now.

I sit there crying for a few minutes. I don't even know if Tori's standing there anymore. She probably left. I don't blame her…

Then I feel the familiar feeling of her arms enveloping me. She holds me close and rocks me back and forth gently. Even though I'm the one in the wrong, she's still comforting me. How did I ever get so lucky to have someone like Tori Vega fall for someone like me?

She continues to hold me as I cry. Once I calm down a little, she finally speaks again.

"I don't deserve _you_, Cat. I shouldn't have blown up at you like that. You've just been doing so well with everything… Sometimes I forget how hurt you are. How much you're still struggling. That's not a very good girlfriend thing of me to do." Tori mumbles into my hair.

"But… but…" I choke.

"Shh…" Tori whispers softly. "Now you know, okay? I'm not going anywhere. I promise. You still light my soul on fire." She assures me.

"It's okay for you to be mad. To be hurt. I shouldn't have…" I trail off.

"And it's okay for you to be concerned. You should feel safe to talk to me about something like that, any time." Tori says. "But, yeah. I was hurt. But I'm not anymore. Alright?"

"O…okay." I sigh, turning into her. I bury my face into her neck, and squeeze her around her waist tightly.

"I guess we're both just human. With human emotions and flaws. Who knew?" Tori sighs.

"Mhm." I murmur. "So, we're okay?"

"Of course, honey." Tori reassures me, tipping my head back. She places a soft kiss on my lips, which I return. It's a sweet, intimate kiss. Full of promise, and trust. As I pull back, my eyes flutter open to focus on her face. It's soft, and compassionate. I want to kiss her again. But before I do, I catch sight of something behind her in the house, through the window. I jump back and stand, pointing.

"Oh my god! Tori!" I shout. Tori whips her head in the direction I'm pointing, but there's nothing there for her to see. She looks back at me, worried.

"What is it?" She asks.

"I thought I saw… Buzz in the window." I state, lowering my finger. Tori lets out a sigh and approaches me, placing a hand on my cheek.

"I think Robbie's been getting to you. Maybe Jade found him, saw us out here and tried to scare us for disobeying the rules." Tori suggests.

"Yeah… maybe." I mumble uneasily. She places a kiss on my forehead.

"Let's head back inside and go to the bathroom. Have to get you cleaned up before the concert." Tori says, wiping a bit of running mascara on my face away with her thumb.

"Kay, kay." I sigh. I take her hand and we walk back to the caution tape. I glance back at the window. Still nothing there. Maybe I am going crazy.

I hid my face as we went upstairs into the washroom. Luckily, it was free which is surprising for such a large party. Tori stands by me while I carefully reapply eyeliner and mascara.

"Hey, why isn't there any music playing?" Tori observes, confused.

"Andre's supposed to be running the DJ booth, right?" I ask, brushing my eyelashes carefully.

"Yeah… I'll text him." Tori says, pulling out her phone. I look back into the mirror and nearly scream when I see Andre stumble into the bathroom, blood on his face. "Holy chiz, Andre! That's not funny!" Tori shouts.

"This isn't fake!" Andre whines, pushing past me to get to the mirror. Blood drops off his face into the sink. I feel sick.

"What happened?" I gasp.

"I don't know! I was minding my own business, mixing some tunes, and all of a sudden this vase drops on my head! Ugh, my noggin…" Andre groans, grabbing a towel and mopping his head up.

"Who did this to you?" Tori asks, concerned.

"No idea. No one was near the DJ booth. And it came from above me, so it must have been dropped from over the banister up here. Problem is, Beck was downstairs and saw the whole thing. He said there was no one up there." Andre explains.

"That's… spooky." I mumble. Tori pulls away the towel to look at Andre's forehead.

"Oh my god, Andre. You need ice." Tori gasps. It's true. There's a small cut where the blood came from, and it looks like it's already stopped bleeding. But what's more shocking is the giant goose-egg that has formed around the cut. I feel squeamish looking at it.

"Tell me about it. Jade's on it." Andre says. Right on cue, as Jade usually is, she walks into the bathroom with a bag of frozen peas.

"Got your ice." Jade claims, shoving the bag into Andre's hands. He immediately slaps the bag on his bulging forehead. "Your head owes me for breaking my vase." Jade states.

"Your **vase **broke my **head**!" Andre exclaims. "Why am I always the one getting hurt?"

"That vase was also in my room. Meaning someone went in there. I want this guy caught." Jade fumes.

"Yeah, ignoring the fact that they could've killed me." Andre grumbles.

"Jade, which window is your room's from outside?" I ask.

"Top floor, third one from the left, facing from my backyard. Why?" Jade says.

"No reason." I squeak. That was the window I thought I saw Buzz in… but… nah. Just a coincidence.

"Think you'll be okay to perform later?" Tori asks.

"I've performed in worse conditions." Andre smiles. He looks over at Jade. "Sorry about your towel. I can take it home and wash it."

"You can just leave it like that…" Jade mutters, looking at the bloody towel.

"What?"

"I mean yeah, wash it. That'd be great. Thanks." Jade sighs, flicking a strand of hair out of her face nonchalantly.

"Oh, man. What happened in here?" Robbie asks at the door.

"Don't ask." Andre groans.

"Damnit…" Robbie mumbles before running off.

"Okay, this party needs some music." Jade states. "C'mon, big guy."

"Yeah, yeah." Andre sighs, following Jade out. Tori turns on the sink and washes out the blood.

"This is a weird night." Tori notes.

"Yeah." I giggle, turning back to the sink to finish applying my make-up. When I'm done, I turn to Tori. "How do I look?"

"Perfect." She smiles. I blush and take her hand. We head back downstairs, where the music has been put back on. "Want to dance?" She asks me. Oh, I've been dying to.

"Yes!" I exclaim. I follow her to the living room, but it's packed. I frown and step back.

"Too crowded?" Tori asks.

"Mhm. I owe you?" I say shyly. She puts an arm around me and kisses my temple.

"We'll have plenty of time to dance." She whispers in my ear, causing me to giggle.

"Hey guys, having a good time?" Beck smiles, coming up to us.

"Sure. Are you?" Tori asks.

"I think so. My date ditched me at one point. Know where Jade is?" Beck asks.

"Right here, babe." Jade approaches with Andre. She gives Beck a long kiss that makes the rest of us shift uncomfortably.

"Um, Andre, aren't you supposed to be in the booth?" Tori asks.

"I put a mix CD on. We have to get ready for the performance." Andre says.

"Sinjin's setting up the stream." Robbie states, coming out of nowhere.

"Hey Robbie, did you find Buzz?" I ask, worriedly.

"No. I hope he's not up to too much trouble." Robbie pouts. We all raise an eyebrow. Well, except for me. I kind of wish I knew where Buzz was as well.

"Ah, the gang is all here. Excellent." Comes a voice. Where is everyone coming from? We turn and…

"Sikowitz!" We all exclaim.

"Is everybody ready for the performance? Great idea again, by the way." Sikowitz beams.

"Yeah! Are you still going to introduce us?" Tori asks.

"Absolutely. I'm going to do so in a few minutes." Sikowitz says. "Oh, and Jade. Great party. Way to get into the fun Halloween spirit." Sikowitz compliments, causing Jade to groan in frustration. "But you might want to check out the kitchen. I think I heard a kerfuffle happening in there about a minute ago."

"What?! Ugh, I hate people!" Jade huffs, storming off.

"Let's go check it out." Beck suggests. We follow Jade through the house and she enters the kitchen first.

"Oh my god! What the hell?!" Jade exclaims, causing us to rush in. What we see causes us to stare in shock.

Buzz is on the table. But he's not really Buzz anymore. He's splayed out in bits and pieces with some sort of red substance around him. Sitting by him with a hammer next to his hand, is…

"Rex!" Robbie cries out, picking the puppet up. We all gawk in surprise.

"Yeah, that's right. I'm back, bitches." Rex states.

"How did you escape the earthquake?!" Robbie gasps.

"You don't know what I got." Rex proclaims. "So, are you all going to thank me for getting rid of that psychopathic dummy or what?"

"…Okay, very clever. Who did this?" Jade glares at us. We all glance at each other in confusion.

"Alright, party goers!" We hear Sikowitz announce. "Thank you for coming tonight. For those of you watching on the stream, you can donate through the link next to the video throughout the concert. It's secure, and for a good cause! So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce The Surviving Seven, minus me!"

We hear cheers as we glance at each other, still in shock.

"…Let's agree to never speak of this." Andre suggests. We all nod and exit the kitchen, leaving the pieces of Buzz behind us.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Kay, this chapter was weird. And I don't mean in a "Night of the Living Dummy" kind of sense. (There's actually a logical explanation, but I'm not telling) I have this whole story planned out, you see. I'm not making it up as I go along. Most of this chapter was _never supposed to happen_. Originally, it was supposed to just have the scene where they come out to Tori's parents, and then it was supposed to immediately go on to the events that take place in the next chapter. But my brain was like NO and next thing I knew, I wrote the whole Halloween party part without planning to. And you know what? I like it. Especially the garden scene. Maybe you'll feel it was unneeded, but meh. I'm okay with what my brain randomly created.  
**

**It took me nineteen chapters to notice, but before I post every chapter, my mouse hovers over the "submit" button, my hand slightly quivering as I anxiously imagine the response to the chapter I'm posting. Will my readers like it? Will they be disappointed? What if I made a huge mistake? All these things and more flash through my mind. Ultimately, I'm always excited to hear from you guys, but for that small moment I just feel really nervous. I'm sure I'll feel it when I post this one in a few minutes (oh god). So, drop me a line. Put my worried thoughts at ease. Or, you know, confirm them. Whatever you feel is best.**

**This cluster of Author's Notes is going to have four paragraphs - sorry. I wanted to address the song. Usually, I hate posting whole songs in a chapter. It's why I never put the full song to "Here's To Never Growing Up" or showed Cat and Tori's performance of "Pink Champagne". It's just a huge block of text to me. But I was listening to the acoustic version of "You're The Reason" while writing Cat Got Your Tongue, and I just thought the lyrics were perfect. I tweaked them the tiniest bit as well. Maybe you can figure out the change I made! Anyway, I'll be posting a full song again later on, but for the most part, I won't be doing that. However, it's a TV show about performing songs! Of course there's going to be a fair amount of music happening!**

**Fun Fact: Beyond Cat and Tori's outfits, these are the costumes I pictured for the rest of the main characters: Jade and Beck are dressed as Sally and Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas. Andre is Cee Lo Green (big sunglasses and a flashy suit with "Forget You" embroidered on the back). Robbie is Ace Ventura. And finally, Sikowitz is Shrek. Don't judge me.**

**WHY IS THIS SONG FROM FIFTH HARMONY SO CATCHY. LIKE WHY.**


	21. A Sad State Of Affairs

**Disclaimer: Okay, I do own the following: This laptop. An android phone. An 11 year old car. The lungs in which I use to breathe. The house I rent in another city. That's about it. Know what's not on that list? Victorious or a puppy or the money in my bank account. I wish I owned such things.**

* * *

Get this. We made 20, 283 dollars through the charity stream and the party. That's 20, 283 dollars that went to rebuilding, and picking broken families up onto their feet. Can we just pause for a moment and appreciate how amazing that is? We really made a difference. It's now the middle of November, and I'm still floored by it. The families of the victims sent us all letters and thank you cards. They were all very nice and touching. One of them is particularly heartwarming for me – a six year old wrote a note to the "red-haired" survivor in scrawled out crayon. She thanked me for helping her daddy who was lost in the earthquake, and the letter says she hopes to be like me when she grows up. That letter is now posted on the inside of my locker, where I am now.

"Hi ho, Cat!" I hear from behind me. I turn to see a bespectacled, afro possessing lanky boy.

"Hi Sinjin." I smile. "What's up?"

"Um, I was told to distract you." Sinjin claims awkwardly. I tilt my head to side.

"Distract me from what?" I ask. Sinjin wipes his probably sweaty palms on his pants.

"That's classified information." Sinjin states.

"Okay…" I trail off. I start to turn around but he stops me.

"Wait!" He shouts. I turn and look at him expectantly. "…I'm a weeping angel! Better not look away from me, or else!" He warns.

"But… you're not crying or an angel. But if you're crying, you can make soup or something…" I explain.

"You don't get the reference, do you?" He sighs.

"What reference?"

"Never mind." Sinjin mumbles. We stand there awkwardly for a moment, him ruffling his afro and me shifting my feet. "So… are you distracted?" He asks.

"I'll say." I frown, confused.

"Great… well it was nice talking to you, Cat! Bye!" And then Sinjin prances off.

"Bye…?" I say, still confused. I turn back to my locker and proceed to feel more confused. Sitting on the top shelf of my locker is a stuffed giraffe the size of Mr. Purple. Except instead of purple, this giraffe is white with colourful polka-dots. Curious, I pull the giraffe out of my locker. It smells like Tori, and I smile. Tied around its neck is a note. I pull it off and unfold it.

_Guess what, pretty girl… tomorrow is our 3 months! Would you like to join me for a fancy dinner to celebrate? xoxo_

A grin spreads across my face as I hug my new giraffe. I quickly close my locker and run downstairs. Just as I thought, Tori's at her locker, sifting through it. I skip up to her happily.

"Hi, Tori." I coo. She turns, smiling at me and the giraffe in my arms.

"Ah, I see you have a new friend there." She notes.

"Yep. Mrs. Casanova is the newest member of my giraffe family." I state proudly. Tori furrows her brow.

"Mrs. Casanova? Not Mrs. Polka-dot?" Tori asks.

"Maybe I'm not as predictable as you thought." I giggle, tapping her on the arm.

"I've never found you predictable, Cat." She grins. "Why the name?"

"I thought it fit, because," I lower my voice a bit so Tori has to lean forward to hear, "Mrs. Casanova asked me out on a date." I explain.

"Is that so?" Tori smirks. She takes me by the hips and holds me close. "And what's your answer?"

"I don't know…" I drop my smile, uncertain. Tori looks confused and is about to open her mouth, but I stop it by giving her a quick peck. "I'm teasing. I would love to have a fancy dinner for our three month anniversary." I grin. She grins back.

"I'm sorry to say that I don't think Mrs. Casanova can't make it. So I'll have to take her place." Tori jokes.

"Oh, I guess that's okay." I say mischievously, swaying gently in Tori's hold. We hear a whistle in the hall from someone not too respectful. Tori scowls for a moment, but brushes it off.

"The giraffe was supposed to be a messenger anyway." Tori explains.

"Is that why Sinjin was trying to 'distract' me?" I ask.

"Yeah… he wasn't very good, was he? But he did enough so I could slip behind you and get the message in your locker." Tori chuckles.

"Very sly, Tori Vega." I smile, giving her another peck on her lips. Another whistle from somewhere in the hall. Tori shoots a glare somewhere that would even make Jade proud. I don't think we'll be hearing more whistles. Tori looks back at me with a smile.

"Okay, tomorrow at 6:30. I'll pick you up this time, since I know where the restaurant is." She winks.

"Fine." I pout. The bell rings overhead.

"Come on, let's go to rehearsal." Tori says. We were both cast in the school's production of The Odd Couple as the two British sisters who live upstairs.

"Kay, kay." I giggle. But I'm afraid I'll be too excited thinking about tomorrow to focus on my lines!

* * *

I glance at the clock again. 6:34. Okay, I know that's not bad at all. Tori was probably held up by Trina or something. But I've just been so excited, the anticipation is killing me!

"Cat, if you keep pacing like that in front of the door, we'll have to get a new rug for the front hall." My dad scolds from the kitchen doorway.

"Sorry, dad." I apologize and stop pacing, but I'm still bouncing rapidly. My mom pokes her head in from the living room.

"My, that's a fancy outfit for simply going to dinner with Tori." My mom comments.

"It's a fancy restaurant, mom." I explain.

"With Tori? Wouldn't it be easier just to go to Nozu's or Inside-Out Burger?" My mom says.

"It's fun. Didn't you ever dress up fancy with your friends to have a glamorous dinner?" I ask. My mom thinks for a moment, and then she nods, satisfied with my answer. And people think I can't think fast…

I glance at the clock again. 6:36. Come on, Tori. Come on, Come on, Come on, Come o-

Doorbell. Yes!

I throw the door open to see a lovely vision of Tori standing in front of me. Oh my goodness that dark lipstick on her… Oh my goodness that dark lipstick on her while she's _smiling _at me.

"Hi Tori! Bye mom and dad, be back later!" I rush out, closing the door behind me before my parents can even respond. I quickly walk past a puzzled Tori. She chases after me.

"Whoa, Cat, hold up!" She calls from behind me, but I don't stop. "Are you mad? I'm sorry I was late, I was trying to find the keys to the car and my mom wasn't home and I-"

I quickly turn to her, looking at her and biting my lip. "Shh…" I whisper softly. "Get in the car." She looks at me puzzled again, but silently she walks around the car and gets into the driver seat. I in turn get into the passenger side. She looks over at me, but I look straight ahead, not daring to look at her. "Drive around the corner."

She looks away and pulls it into drive. Once we're around the corner, she puts it into park once again. "Okay, what's going o-"

"Kiss me." I mutter quickly, my hand already tangled up in her hair. She looks surprised at first, but then her mouth turns up into a grin. Her mouth that is soon pressed against mine in a long, satisfying kiss. This never gets old. When we pull away, I'm pleased to see that I didn't smudge her lipstick. "Thank you." I say sweetly.

"Geez, I thought you were mad at me for being late." She sighs.

"Nope. I just saw you standing in my doorway, picking me up for _our _date, wearing that, and I didn't trust myself to not kiss you before we were out of the line of sight of my parents." I admit. This causes Tori to blush wildly.

"I'm… glad my outfit pleases you. Believe me the feelings mutual." Tori states, looking over my outfit. And now I'm blushing. She giggles and pulls the car back into drive. "Okay, we're already behind schedule and this restaurant is pretty far. I don't want to lose our reservation."

"How far is it?" I ask as Tori heads out onto the road.

"It's actually out of town." Tori says.

"Wow, really?"

"Yeah… I heard it's a really nice place though. On the beach and everything. I thought it'd be nice to try something new." Tori explains.

"Oh yeah? And who told you about this place?" I ask slyly. I watch as Tori presses her lips together. "Was it Beck?"

"Maybe. Don't judge me! I don't know how to be creative with date ideas!" Tori huffs.

"It's fine." I giggle. "This is kind of our first date since… like… our first date." I note. Every other time we've spent time together is has been at each other's houses. We haven't "gone out" together for a while.

"I know. That's why I thought I'd ask you out for our three months. It makes it more special, you know?" Tori says.

"Yeah, I know." I agree. "And I think it's completely romantic. See? You're doing just fine." I assure her.

"Thanks, Cat." She smiles. "You deserve the best."

I giggle and blush, looking at my lap. "So, my visit with my brother last weekend went well."

"Oh yeah? That's good to hear. No crazy stories?" Tori asks.

"There's always crazy stories. But none of them involve stuff getting thrown at me, for once." I explain.

"Tell me some stories." Tori requests.

"You want to hear them?" I wonder.

"Of course. I love your stories." Tori chuckles. I smile and start telling her about how my brother had switched the medicine around for all the patients, so things were crazier than usual. My brother seemed like the normal one. On the bright side, because the facility had to revaluate all the prescriptions, they found out one of the nurses was siphoning some pills to sell them on the side. So they got caught, and that was good.

I told her other stories and she laughed and gasped all the way to the restaurant. It really was pretty far. We pull into the parking lot and Tori gapes at the car clock. "We've got to move." Tori states. The restaurant was propped up on stilts and pillars – probably to give customers a better view of the ocean. Unfortunately for us, it meant we had to run up a flight of stairs in heels in order to enter the building. Not the easiest. When we finally get to the door, we burst through.

"Tori Vega for two." Tori pants to the host.

"Ah, yes. Right on time." The host says, checking off something on the list in front of him. "A server will be with you momentarily."

"Thank you." Tori breathes. I look around the restaurant. It's very classy and modern looking.

"It's so nice in here." I mutter to Tori.

"Yeah. Beck has good taste for someone who lives in an R.V. in his parents' drive-way." Tori notes.

"What a classy guy." I giggle.

"Ladies, I'll take you to your table now." A waiter says, coming up to us. We follow him to a booth across from the large windows looking out to the ocean, barely lit up by the little bit of sun still poking out. We slide into the booth on opposite sides and the waiter hands us menus. "I'll be back momentarily." He promises before shuffling off to another table.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get a table by the windows." Tori frowns.

"Tori, it's fine." I giggle. "I can still see the ocean from here. It's hard to miss."

Tori smiles in relief and looks down at the menu. I do the same and… whoa. I look up at Tori and her face has scrunched into an expression of almost pain.

"Um… practically everything on here is listed as 'market price'." I read.

"Have you been paying attention to the fish market prices lately?" Tori asks, distraught. I shake my head and she groans. "I was going to pay for you but I have no idea how much I'll be paying now…"

"You were _not_." I glare. "Tori, you don't have to pay for me." I sigh. "How about this. We order whatever, get the cheque together and just split the pay in half." I suggest. Tori lets out a breath.

"Okay, sounds good to me." Tori sighs. I reach over the table and take her hand, smiling.

"Are you still worried about messing up our date or something?" I ask. She gives a shy smile. "Don't. We've been dating for three months now. Just because this is technically our second date doesn't mean you have to work to impress me. I'm already impressed." I assure her. She squeezes my hand softly.

"Thanks, Cat." She smiles. She looks back down at the menu. "Order whatever you want. Please."

"Okay." I giggle. I order only off the starter menu anyway, just to be safe, as well as a salad. Tori does the same. I think the waiter gives us a snooty look, but I don't care. The foods delicious even if it's only the appetizers.

"How's the smoked salmon?" Tori asks. Yeah… smoked salmon for an appetizer. That's the kind of restaurant we're at. All we need is a bowl of caviar.

"Delicious and smokey. How are the crab cakes?" I ask back.

"Delectable and crabby." Tori jokes.

"Aw, I hope they cheer up." I giggle. She gives a laugh as she takes another bite. Then her face drops, and forms into a look of confusion. I look at her confused as well. "Whaty?"

"I think I see my dad's partner sitting over there. Gary." She states darkly. I start to turn but Tori stops me. "No don't look. He's with someone… I… her back is to me. So I can't really tell for sure…" Tori trails off. I can tell this is concerning her, but I don't know why. I suck in a breath.

"Shuffle over." I tell her. She looks at me for a moment, but does so. Casually and fluidly, I edge myself around the table and place myself next to her. Now I can get a good view without noticeably craning my neck around. I can see Gary, and the back of his lady-friend's head. "Tori… that looks like-"

"I know."

"But it can't be-"

"It could be." Tori states bitterly. It looks like Gary says something charming, and the woman lets out a laugh loud enough for us to hear. "…Yep. No doubt about it. That's my mom."

I immediately lace my fingers with hers under the table. "Tori… It might not mean anything. They're friends, right?"

"Fancy restaurant? Out of town? Dressed to the nines? It's definitely not an opposite date." Tori grumbles. I can feel her squeezing my hand harder.

"Don't… jump to conclusions. She's married. He's your dad's partner." I mumble. Tori says nothing. I look over to her and she's staring them down, hard. "Tori…"

"Don't do it." She growls. Not at me, but at them. I turn to see them leaning in. I gasp. "_Don't _do it!" Tori repeats forcefully.

They do it. Mrs. Vega's lips meet Gary's lips across the table. Not the kind of kiss friends share. It's undeniable. I know it. Tori knows it all too well. I can tell because when she sees that, something in her snaps. She's suddenly clambering over me to get out of the booth. She slides over my lap and I'm hit with a sudden flash of anxiety from the close touch, so I can't even stop her. By the time I come to my senses, Tori has already marched herself to their table, and Gary and Mrs. Vega are staring at her in shock.

"Tori?!" Her mom exclaims.

"I knew it… I _knew it_!" Tori shouts, causing everyone in the restaurant to turn and look. I notice our waiter nearby, also startled by the outburst. I slide out and tap him on the shoulder. He looks over at me.

"The credit machine. Quickly." I hiss. He nods and scampers off.

"You weren't supposed to see this." Mrs. Vega states.

"Oh no fucking shit, _mom_!" Tori snaps, causing me and the other diners to gasp. I've rarely heard Tori curse like that, especially to her mother. "I am **so **sorry I ruined your little date. I'm even **sorrier **that I ruined your big, fat affair! How could you do this to dad?"

"Now, Tori, just calm down…" Gary starts. Big mistake. Tori whips her head towards him.

"And _**you**_! You're his _partner_! You have to put your lives on the line for each other and trust each other on a daily basis and THIS is what you do to him?" Tori yells. The waiter runs up to me with the machine.

"The manager kindly asks you and your friend to leave this establishment." He mutters into my ear.

"I know." I say, punching in my card and numbers. It beeps and I shove it back in his hands before walking up to my distressed girlfriend. I grab her arm gently. "Tori…" I try to say soothingly, but she just shakes me off.

"How could you do this? How long has this even been going on? Months? _Years_? I don't even know who you are anymore! You're no mother of mine!" Tori shouts.

"I can't help how I feel and I-" Tori's mom starts.

"**Bullshit**! Once upon a time, you felt those things for my father. _Your husband_! You made a promise to him but apparently that means nothing to you!" Tori snaps, her voice starting to become shaky and tears fill her eyes.

"I… I was going to tell all of you…" Mrs. Vega sighs, tears filling her own eyes. "I never wanted to hurt anyone."

"Well it's too late for that, isn't it." Tori chokes. I grasp her arm with both my hands and give her a little tug.

"Tori… Tori we should go." I plead softly. I catch her eye and, for some reason, that seems to snap her out of it a little. She looks at me for a moment, her mouth slightly unhinged as she remembers my presence. Her face hardens again as she looks back to the table.

"Thanks for ruining our family… and my date." Tori spits out. She walks past me and I give one conflicted look toward her mother and Gary before following Tori out. Her mother looked so shattered.

Tori's moving fast as she heads down the stairs and into the parking-lot toward the car. I try to keep up with her as I call out to her. "Tori! Tori, wait! Please!" I cry.

"What, Cat?!" She snaps, whipping around to face me. I step back in surprise, but I collect myself and take step toward her, touching her hand lightly. Her eyes are dark.

"I'll drive. Okay?" I say slowly. Her face softens a bit.

"Um… yeah…" She mumbles looking away and handing me her keys. I take them and unlock the doors. She heads over to the passenger side and I get into the driver's seat. She sits there silently, resting her elbow on the side of the window and her cheek on her fist as I start up the car. I pull out swiftly and get onto the road, trying to bring her from that place as soon as possible. I can't imagine how she's feeling. My heart breaks for her.

"Do you… want to talk?" I ask eventually.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you." Tori replies immediately.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. None of this was your fault. You should be the last person I'm mad at." Tori mutters. I press my lips together, not knowing what to say. Tori would know what to say in this situation, but now Tori is the one who's in turmoil. She's silent again for a bit, but then I hear her again. "I… didn't want to believe it…"

"Did you… think this was happening?" I ask.

"There were signs. Tons of signs. But I just shrugged them off for the longest time… then right before summer, things started getting rough in the house." Tori explains sadly. "My parents started fighting a lot… over stupid things… over serious things… And my mom kept threatening to leave. It was getting unbearable."

"I'm sorry, Tori… I wish I had known." I say sincerely.

"I wasn't exactly open about it. Besides… you kind of took priority in my life this summer." Tori says.

"I… didn't know you were going through your own stuff, Tori… I'm so sor-"

"Don't be sorry, please? I wouldn't have done it any other way. Whatever was going on in my home life, you were more important to me. No question." Tori sighs. "But it was still going on. I became more and more suspicious but like I said, I didn't want to believe it. And now-" Her voice catches, and I start to hear sobs entering her voice as it sinks into her. "Now I know."

"I don't know what to say… I just can't believe it." I say softly. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Just… take me home." Tori sobs.

"Okay." I agree. I just want to take her in my arms right now, but she gave me a mission to take her home, so that's what I have to do.

"I mean, god, why would she do that? I'm still in denial. I can't believe she would do that to us… me, Trina, dad… do we mean nothing to her? We're we not a good enough family? I just… I can't…" Tori cries. "I'm sorry I screwed up our three month anniversary."

"You didn't screw anything up, Tori. Things happened that were out of your control. We'll just post-pone tonight." I reassure her. That was a good thing to say, right?

"Cat… you're the best." She sniffs.

"So are you. Don't worry… I'll get you home." I state.

"Oh god, how do I tell my dad? And Trina?" Tori gasps.

"Don't think about that yet. Don't stress yourself more than you have to." I order. "Try some deep breathing… that always helped me."

I hear her trying, but they come out as gasping hiccups and I think it just upsets her more than she can't pull herself together. I let her cry the rest of the way back to her house. As soon as I pull into her parking lot, I unhook my seatbelt and lean over to take her in my arms, like she did for me so many times before. I run my fingers through her hair as she sobs against my shoulder. My poor Tori… Her world just came crashing down around her.

I think my embrace does for her what her embrace always did for me, because she starts to settle down a bit.

"I can stay with you tonight, if you like." I whisper.

"Thanks, Cat… but… I think it should be a family only thing." Tori sniffs.

"Okay, sweetheart… whatever you think is best." I coo. She pulls away from my hold and looks at me, her face tear-stained.

"Let me drive you home." She offers.

"No, you're in no state to drive. I'll call a cab." I say, wiping the tears off her cheeks with the back of my hand.

"Then let me at least pay for the cab." Tori says, shuffling through her purse.

"You don't have to-"

"Please, Cat. Please. Let me do this." Tori says urgently, touching my arm. "Our date was a bust. You probably paid for the whole expensive meal… let me at least do this."

"Okay." I nod. She places a wad of folded bills into my hand, and then the next thing I know her lips are pressed to mine. I wrap my arms around her neck and hold her close and protectively. Is this how she's always felt? The need to protect me from the entire world? If I could just take all the pain away. I try to kiss it away, moving my lips against hers, but I know it's futile. When we pull away, she'll be in reality again. She'll have to walk into her house and tell her dad that his wife cheated on him. But for now, she wants a kiss. And so I'm giving her what she wants. Whatever she needs.

When we pull apart, she looks sad. I don't know if it's because the kiss ended, or because she didn't get the effect from the kiss that she wanted. And that thought just makes me sad.

I rubbed her back while we waited for the cab, and when it came, we stepped out of her car and I handed her back her keys. "Text me or call me if you need anything, okay?" I say, giving her a tight hug.

"I will." She returns the hug.

"Good luck… You're in my thoughts." I say, walking backwards towards the cab. She merely nods and I frown, not knowing what else to say or do. Again, I wish I had Tori's knack for pep talks.

The cab pulls away and I watch solemnly as the figure of my devastated girlfriend fades away. How do I fix this?

* * *

"Have you talked to Tori?" I ask Andre during second period a few days later.

"Nah, I tried but it's like she's not even there. It's crazy." Andre explains. I bit my lip worriedly. I look across the studio to see Tori sitting alone, absent-mindedly tapping her pencil. This is her first day back at school since finding out about mom's affair.

"Same… I mean I can't blame her. She must feel so betrayed and conflicted… But she wouldn't respond to my texts or calls… From what I have gotten out of her, her parents are filing for divorce…" I frown. "I'm worried about her, Andre."

"You and me both, Lil Red." Andre sighs. "But hey, if anyone can reach her, it's you."

"Thanks Andre." I give a small smile. The bell rings and Tori slams down her book and rushes out of the classroom before I can even blink. "Tori!" I yell after her, but she's long gone. I quickly gather my stuff and run out after her. I look up and down the hall but I can't catch sight of her. I run down to where her locker is but she's not there either. I turn around and… suddenly, Beck.

"Whoa, hold your horses. Why so frantic?" He asks.

"I don't have any horses. And I'm looking for Tori!" I cry. Beck frowns, aware of Tori's situation.

"Sorry, Cat. I haven't seen her." He admits. My frown deepens. "But hey, it's lunch. That means rehearsal for The Odd Couple. She'll have to show up there." Beck assures.

"Yeah… Okay." I nod. Both Beck and Robbie play the leads in The Odd Couple. Jade was uninterested in auditioning for a comedy, so she's not in it at all. We both head into the blackbox, where Marty our director and some of the other cast members are there. I look around. No Tori.

"Hey! Cat and Beck." Marty smiles. "You guys off book yet?"

"Yep." Beck answers.

"Yeah…" I say absent-mindedly.

"You don't seem very convinced there." Marty notes, leaning over to catch my eye.

"Sorry. Yes my lines are ready." I say.

"Great! Where's Robbie and Tori?" Marty asks.

"I'm here." Robbie announces, walking in the door with Rex. "I just saw Tori. She said she can't make it. That she can't focus and had to go home." Robbie frowns.

"Girl is pretty messed up." Rex quips.

"What?!" Marty gasps. "But we were supposed to get the Pigeon Sister's blocking done today…" He groans. My eyes snap towards the door and Marty notices, pointing at me. "Don't you dare. You'll have to play Tori's part as well in rehearsal today. We open in two weeks! Tori will have to catch up once things… settle down."

"But-" I start.

"No buts! Everybody get to their places!" Marty orders. I sigh, giving another longing look at the door. I'm coming soon, sweetheart. Even if you don't want me to.

* * *

I wish I had grabbed Trina's keys again. But ever since the affair came to light, where Tori turned to sadness, Trina turned to rage. She had earned a reputation of karate chopping anybody who came near. So, right after rehearsal I made my way to Tori's house and hoped to god that she would answer the door. So here I am. Hoping and knocking. I hear a click and the door swings open to reveal… Tori's mom.

"Mrs. Vega?" I gasp. I guess it makes sense. I mean it's only been five days and I can imagine she hasn't found a place to go yet, but still…

"Cat. Hi." She says solemnly. She looks like a zombie of herself. Hair all tufted up and bags under her eyes. Guilt will do that to you, I guess. She steps aside. "Tori's in her room."

I don't say anything as I walk by her, but she stops me before I go up the stairs.

"Cat… can you do me a favour?" She asks.

"I can't make her forgive you. I can't say sorry for you. You'll have to work hard on your own to do that." I state plainly, not looking at her.

"I… I know. It's not that. It's just..." Tori's mom tries to find the words. "Fix my daughter. I've done something to her. It's my fault. Even if she never talks to me again… I still love her with all my heart. I want her to be happy, and she's anything but right now. Bring my baby girl back." Mrs. Vega's voice trembles.

"…I'll try my best." I mumble, heading up the stairs. I reach Tori's room, and the door is closed. I knock on it gently.

"Go away." I hear muffled from inside.

"Tori… it's Cat." I state sadly. Silence. And then…

"Come in."

I open the door, and it's dark. When I came here when she was sick, the room was illuminated by the sun filtering through her large window. But now the blinds are shut tight, and I can barely make out the curled up lump of my girlfriend on her bed. I close the door and blink to let my eyes adjust. I crawl onto her bed with her and slip under the covers, pushing myself against her back and slinging my arm around her. With my other hand, caught between me and Tori, I start making small circles on her back with my finger. We lay there silently for a bit.

"You need to stop ditching school for me." Tori mutters.

"My girl needs me. School doesn't." I murmur. She lets out a sigh, and we're silent again for a bit. I start to feel a lump in my throat. "Don't shut me out, Tor."

"I'm not trying to." Tori mumbles.

"Then talk to me. I'm here for you." I say softly. She starts to wriggle away from me and sits up. I stay lying down, watching her carefully.

"No, Cat… You can't… You don't understand…" Tori stumbles.

"Then help me to." I plead, sitting up and touching her arm, but she shrugs me off.

"My parents are divorcing. They fell in love, had two children, and twenty-two years in, my mom has an affair and now they're divorcing." Tori rants. "Growing up, I used to marvel at my parent's relationship. How they used to spend time together. Really care about each other. Every time my dad would come home from work, my mom would leap on him in a hug, just glad that he lived another day." She mumbles, reminiscing. "And for what? This? Is this where that all leads up to? Saying 'screw my family, I've found another person'?"

"I'm sorry it turned out this way, Tori… But it's not always that outcome." I sigh.

"Then why do half the marriages that happen in America end in divorce?" Tori asks. I'm at a loss. "What does love even mean anymore?"

"I… don't know." I pout. Why am I so useless at this?

"What does this mean for me? What does this mean for _us_?" Tori chokes out.

"What do you mean?" I ask cautiously.

"I'm the daughter of an adulterer. So what if I fall in love with you? What will that mean in twenty years? Let's say we get married. Adopt children. Whatever. Who's to say I won't leave you for someone else somewhere down the line? And god, the idea of me doing something like that to you scares me so much." Tori cries.

"You won't…" I mutter.

"Won't I? I don't know. I don't even know anymore. I'm feeling so lost. It's like everything I've known and thought about love is a lie now." Tori whimpers. I slide off the bed, standing up.

"So, _now _you doubt your feelings for me?" I ask, my voice shaky. This causes her to pause.

"I… no. No, I know how I feel about you. Right now. Right now you're the most incredible, important person in my life and I want to hold onto you forever. Which is why I'm so scared. I'm so scared that this feeling will fade, and you'll get hurt. Or…or your feelings might fade for me and… and…" Tori trails off, unable to finish speaking.

"…Feelings may fade, Tori. But they'll be replaced with new ones. Relationships aren't supposed to be easy like in fairy-tale books. Believe me, I've read enough to know that's true. And you aren't supposed to be able to take what you want from a girl without her consent. You aren't supposed to move on to the next guy when you feel you're done with twenty-two years of an otherwise decent marriage. More work needs to be put into it, even when those initial feelings fade. That's love, Tori. When all of that's gone, and you still want to be with each other because of what you've built together." I explain firmly. She sits there thinking for a bit.

"I just… I need to think about things… Revaluate." Tori states. I bite my lip, and nod slowly.

"If that's what you need, Tori… I'll leave you alone now." I say, and turn to the door. As I pull it open, Tori's voice reaches me.

"Cat!" She calls. I turn and the light from the hallway catches her face. "S…stay." Tori's lip trembles. I close the door and climb back onto the bed. I rest my back against the headboard and gather her in my arms. She wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head under my chin. I run my hand up and down her back. "Thank you." She whispers.

"Like I said, I'm here for you." I assure her. She nods and snuggles into me.

"No more shutting you out. I want to work for this." Tori states. This causes me to smile.

"I'm glad." I breathe. I hold her for a little while. I think it might be time to tell her one of my biggest secrets. I feel like it's time. I think it's relevant, and Tori should know. "Want to know a secret?" I ask.

"Sure." She sighs.

"Nobody else knows this outside of my family… I've never told anybody." I explain slowly. She turns her head up, looking at me puzzled. "You see, I kind of understand what you're going through… a bit." I bite my lip. "I'm going to tell you the full story about my brother. The one nobody has heard."

"Okay." Tori nods, putting her head back on my chest. I let out a breath. Here it goes.

"My brother… wasn't always the way he is. In fact, he was a child prodigy. Insanely smart, and talented. He was doing college level calculations at the age of eight. He could score pieces of music that rivaled Mozart. And do it even faster than Andre. He could memorize anything, tell you what chemicals were in what compound. And he was insanely nice and funny and got along with anybody. The perfect child." I sigh.

"And then there was me. Academically, I did okay. But… you know me. Head in the clouds. Not based in reality very much. Can't grasp basic concepts sometimes. Socially dumb, as Jade puts it… Not the perfect child. My brother was wonderful to me, though. We got a long very well. I loved him… love him. But my parents doted on him, and completely ignored me most of the time. I… I was jealous. That's why I… oh god, it still makes me feel sick to think about it, but I kept wishing he wasn't as smart. That I was smarter than him… Be careful what you wish for." I mumble.

"The shuttle bus incident…" Tori gasps. Shut my eyes tight and give her a squeeze.

"Mhm… he was fourteen, I was nine. He had received so many college scholarships, and even an internship at NASA. We were on a family trip to Las Vegas to celebrate… We were in the hotel in our room on the fourth floor. My parents were in the lobby for some reason so it was just me and my brother. A butterfly got into our room and… typically, I start chasing it around." I bite my lip. This next part is hard. "I didn't even notice the window was open. But my brother did. He called out to me to be careful, but I didn't listen. I was in my own little world. The butterfly flew out the window and I reached for it… and I lost my balance and started to fall out the window. My brother acted quickly – he threw his arm into me to push me out of the way, but the momentum made him keep going and…" I cut myself off.

"Oh… Cat…"

"It was a miracle he even survived… But like I said before… now he's seriously messed up. Never what he was before. I don't think I've ever stopped blaming myself. I came to terms with it and forgave myself, but I know it was my fault. And my parents know it too." I let out a deep breath. "They mourned the loss of their perfect child and were left with me, the less than perfect, attention-deficit child who caused the loss of their perfect child, and then a ghostly reminder of what he once was – my crazy brother." I shudder.

"It caused… a lot of bitterness in the family. My parents fought all the time. They talked about getting a divorce. They couldn't handle it. It was like that for a long time… they would fight all night every time my brother did something crazy. I would just hide under my bed, hoping it would go away. And… it did, eventually. It was tough, but my parents worked it out. They accepted what happened to my brother. I could tell they loved me again, especially when I got into Hollywood Arts. I don't think they ever stopped loving me, though. They were just clouded with bitterness… but they broke through it. They were proud of me, and at times, even proud of my brother if he did something good. I started to think of the things he did as funny and… We coped." I explain.

"So I guess my point of the story is… it can work out. Maybe things won't be the same, but we adapt and change all the time. And now my family is pretty happy. Even my brother seems to be really enjoying himself at the facility. I'm sorry things didn't work out that way for you, but… You'll adapt. You'll be happy. I know it, Tori." I finish. She shifts herself and props herself on her side to look at me. He face comes close and her hand cups my cheek.

"Thank you for telling me." She says softly. "Thank you for believing in me."

"You believed in me." I smile.

"And you never let me down. I've been such a downer. I'm sorry." Tori sighs.

"You're allowed to be sad, Tori. I just want you to see the light at the end of the tunnel." I state.

"I see it." She smiles, looking into my eyes pointedly. I smile and give her a kiss.

I hope I helped. I think I helped… Maybe I did fix her, in a way. Maybe I have some pep talk abilities after all. I guess Tori's rubbing off on me, and I really like the sound of that idea.

…

What did my brain just think?

* * *

**Author's Notes: Ahh, slightly sexual jokes. Anyway, the affair was thrown in here because it's glaringly obvious in the show. So, why not run with it? It creates some wonderful angst, and it flips the role for Cat - now she's the comforter. I don't want Cat to play the victim forever. She has the strength to hold Tori up as well. Also, next chapter will be... fun? Yeah. Yeah it'll have some fun moments. Let's go with fun. I'm also sorry for anybody who has gone through a parents' divorce. That's rough, and my thoughts go out to you.**

**Guess what, guess what? Today is Canada Day! To people who don't know, (I mean I think I've only mentioned it in like 50% of my Author's Notes) I'm Canadian. So, to any of my Canadian readers, Happy Canada Day! To my American readers, Happy early 4th of July! To all my readers from other places... Happy Day of whatever day it is you celebrate your country on! Yeah! As for me, I'll be spending tomorrow eating Rocky Road Fudge from Niagara Falls. Be jealous. **

**Fun Fact: The restaurant in this chapter is based off a fancy restaurant I forget the name of located in Victoria, B.C. I went there and I was really craving some lobster, and I figured I'm on the ocean right now, might as well splurge. Unfortunately, the market prices were on a high at this time. By the end of the meal, I found out the lobster was Atlantic lobster... I went all the way to the Pacific ocean and paid a large sum of money for lobster from the ocean on the other side of the country... God damnit. **


	22. The Second Circle Of Hell

**Disclaimer: This is a song. A song about how I don't own Victorious. It's to the tune of my heart, and the beat of my fingers against the keys of my keyboard. Snaps for not owning Victorious. No snaps? Cool. I also don't own Days Go By by Dirty Vegas. But still I think of you. **

* * *

"And that's a wrap!" Marty exclaims. "Great rehearsal guys. Tori, good job. Glad to have you back."

"Thanks." Tori smiles. I reach over and grab her hand.

"We still have fifteen minutes if you guys want to grab something to eat." Beck suggests.

"Finally." Jade states, sauntering up. Even though she's not in the play, Jade still sits in the blackbox at lunch during rehearsal since Andre spends lunch tutoring freshmen in music, and that doesn't leave anybody else to hang out with. Silly Jade… She talks a big game, but I know she likes being around us rather than be alone. Or maybe it's just Beck.

"That would be lovely!" I exclaim.

"Cat, you can drop the British accent now." Tori chuckles.

"I can't help it." I pout. Sometimes it takes me a good fifteen minutes to drop an accent I've been working in.

"Alright, Mary Poppins. Food now." Jade huffs, stalking off.

"Ooh, me too!" Robbie follows us when he grabs Rex.

"So, babe, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Beck asks. Thanksgiving's at the end of the week.

"Same as usual. My mom attempts to cook but it goes horribly so we order pizza while I get an impersonal card in the mail from my dad that says some cheesy line about turkeys. And then I eat that." Jade explains.

"I'm hosting Thanksgiving in my R.V. this year. You're welcome to join us." Beck offers.

"Your parents hate me." Jade states.

"Which is why it will be much more fun if your there." Beck smirks. Jade smirks, too.

"I like the way you think." Jade sighs, giving Beck a kiss.

"Take me, too. I don't want to spend another Thanksgiving with the Shapiro family. That chiz does not make me feel thankful." Rex groans.

"Hey! They're not that bad!" Robbie retorts. Rex pivots his head to look at Robbie, and Robbie sighs. "Okay, yeah. They're pretty bad. Tori, what're you doing for… oh." Robbie trails off looking over at Tori. I look too and see her face has fallen.

"We're… not really having Thanksgiving this year." Tori mumbles. By this point we've reached the line at the food truck.

"Sorry. I wasn't thinking." Robbie says.

"It's okay." Tori sighs. I hold onto her arm supportively.

"You can come to my house for Thanksgiving, if you want." I offer.

"I thought you were going up to the facility to have dinner with your brother." Tori says.

"We were, but… He's still being kept in a special room after the whole medication incident…" I explain. Jade raises her eyebrow. "So it's just going to be the three of us. It can be four, if you want. My parents won't mind." I look at her hopefully. She looks at me in the eye for a moment and I try to give her my best puppy-dog eyes.

"Alright, Cat. I would be honoured to join you and your family for Thanksgiving dinner." Tori smiles. Festus calls her up so she leaves my hold. I feel a tap on the shoulder and turn to see Jade giving me a look.

"Aren't you doing that thing where you're not telling your parents or whatever?" Jade says.

"Yes. But I'll just invite her over as my friend… they like Tori." I explain.

"Yes, but…" Jade lowers her voice. "Didn't you tell me the other day you're finding it harder to keep your hands off her?" She smirks.

"Oh lordy, did I just hear that? Somebody restart my heart." Rex quips, while Robbie gapes.

"Oh wazz off, dumb and dumber." Jade snaps.

"Who's dumber?" Robbie whispers, earning a "ha!" from Rex.

"I… didn't think about that. Oh god." I start to panic.

"Maybe Cat's house would be more fun this Thanksgiving." Jade teases to Beck, who chuckles.

"Why's that?" Tori asks, turning back to us with a burrito in hand.

"Be-because my mom is making marshmallow salad! With the little pretty marshmallows and coconut!" I stammer, blushing. She tilts her head. I mean, yeah. Now that most of my anxiety is gone when it comes to touching Tori, and being touched by her, it's been pretty enjoyable to be held and to feel the smoothness of her skin or the touch of her lips. That's always been nice. But lately, it's like I crave her touch. Like I'll just explode if my hands aren't on her, or she's not kissing me. It's… different. I've always been a touchy person before the incident, but I've never wanted it this bad. When I told Jade, she gave me a knowing smile and just tapped me lightly on the head. Ugh, that's so frustrating… And I don't want Tori to know I told Jade, who just told the rest of our friends and a gross puppet. That's embarrassing.

"Okay. That… sounds exotic. I'm sure it's good, though." She says slowly, but smiles. And now I just want to kiss her so bad. That smile.

This will be a long dinner.

* * *

"Ugh, I'm so full." Tori groans, walking up the stairs to my room after dinner.

"My mom was so excited when she heard you were coming for dinner, she made way more than she should have." I giggle.

"And yet I ate it all. Even the marshmallow salad. Which was amazing." Tori groans again. She stumbles into my room and I close the door behind us, locking it.

"I'm glad you liked it." I giggle, and my hand is immediately running up and down her arm, exploring every curve with interest. The tips of my fingers tingle. I look at her face and her head has hung back a little, eyes closed. "I was dying to touch you like this the entire dinner." I admit, smiling. Her eyes snap open and look at me with her own smile. She immediately puts her arms around me and we flop on my bed. I tangle my fingers in her hair as she pulls me close, leaving kisses on my jaw. I close my eyes now, contented with the touch.

"Thank you for having me over tonight." Tori murmurs between kisses.

"Of course. You're always welcome here." I sigh. The kisses stop and I open my eyes. Her head is lying next to mine. She's pressing her lips together and looking down. I trace my fingers down the outline of her face. More tingles. "I'm sorry it wasn't your own family."

"It's okay. We decided together that… as a family we didn't feel very thankful right now. But when you offered for me to come here instead… I realized I am thankful for something." Tori states.

"What's that?" I ask.

"You." She bites her own smile. I giggle and nuzzle her nose with mine.

"I'm thankful for you too, Tori." I mumble. I sigh as I continue to run my hand over her facial features softly. "How are you doing with everything?"

"I'm sad… but I'm coming to terms with it better. It feels worse when I'm-"

"Alone?" I finish her sentence. She gives me an understanding look.

"Yeah. Exactly." Tori sighs.

"Getting out helps. Even if you don't feel like it… once you're out… it helps." I try to explain.

"So, what you're saying is that I should… go out." Tori says slowly.

"Yes." I smile.

"Should I go out with someone?" She smiles as well.

"Maybe. If you want." I giggle.

"Well then, Miss Valentine." Tori says, squeezing me closer. "What do you propose we do?"

"I still owe you a dance." I grin. "We can go somewhere tomorrow night. Invite the others. Go to that all ages club. Only this time…" I place my palm flat against her cheek, "I'll only be dancing with you."

"I'd like that." Tori grins. I smile even wider, leaning in to kiss her. What starts off soft soon becomes deeper and more passionate as our tongues begin to wrestle and writhe with each other. I smile against her lips and giggle, realizing she tastes like the marshmallow salad. I roll so that she's draped across me and I clutch her back. I just want her to consume me entirely, never lose contact with her body. Her hand brushes by some exposed skin down by my waist, and I shudder. She pulls back, worried and cautious. I immediately reconnect the kiss, not wanting her to stop. My skin burns where her hand had brushed. Is this what Tori meant when she said I light her on fire? That it's like electricity? I… think I just moaned.

"Girls! Dessert is ready!" My mom calls up from downstairs. We yank ourselves apart, breathless.

"Dessert?" Tori frowns, clutching her abdomen.

"It's… really good. I made cupcakes." I pant, smiling.

"Sorry stomach." Tori groans, pushing herself off the bed. I watch her figure, remembering how it felt just a moment a moment ago pushed up against me. And how much I wish it still were.

* * *

"Aw yeah, Andre's back, baby!" Andre waltz's into the club the next night. I had arrived with Tori, but everyone else showed up basically at the same time so we went in together. There are a fair number of people here already, but there's still plenty of space for us to move around. Perfect. "Days Go By" by Dirty Vegas is playing on the sound system. Tori stands in front of me and opens her mouth to say something, but I stop her by quickly placing two fingers over her mouth. I know what she was going to say.

"Nope." I smile. "I'm buying _you_ a drink this time. What do you want?" I ask. Tori opens her mouth again to protest but I give her another one of my puppy-dog eye looks. She clamps her mouth shut and rolls her eyes, but she gives me a smile.

"Fine. You win. Just get me a diet Joke-A-Cola." Tori relents.

"Be right back." I smirk, running a hand down her arm as I pass by her. I feel her shiver.

I get a Wahoo Punch for myself and the Joke-A-Cola for Tori. Beck came up with me to get Jade's drink as well. I notice him staring hard at the bartender the entire time he's handling my drinks, and then eyeballs them when they're slid over to me. I pay and pick them up and Beck finally relaxes. I blink him, confused.

"Why are you looking like that?" I ask. Beck looks startled for a moment.

"I, well, uh…" He awkwardly runs a hand through his poofy hair. "I was… watching to make sure nobody slipped anything in your drinks." Beck admits. I smile shyly.

"Aw, thanks for looking out for me, Beck." I say.

"You're like a little sister to me, Cat. I'd never want a repeat of what happened to you." Beck mutters, grabbing his own drinks.

"Thank you. It means a lot that you care." I state, kissing him on the cheek. I skip back to where Tori and Jade are, who are staring at us with shock and confusion.

"What was that all about?" Jade fumes.

"Yeah, what was that?" Tori raises her eyebrow, but I know she's not really jealous. She's been cheated on in the past, yet she's never distrusted me.

"Just platonic interaction between friends." Beck smiles, handing Jade her drink and putting an arm around her.

"Did you want one, too?" I ask Tori, smiling.

"Yes, please." Tori grins. I hand Tori her drink and peck her on the cheek as well. "Thank you." Tori says. I giggle and nudge her gently. We sit down for a while together while we finish our drinks.

"I bet Buzz wouldn't have made me pay for his drink." Robbie whines to Rex.

"_Buzz _would've murdered the bar tender and taken all of the drinks, and then probably would've used those drinks to drown the place!" Rex argues.

"I miss that puppet." Jade sighs. "I still have his remains sitting in my basement…"

We all stare at Jade for a moment, feeling tense at her comment.

"Never. Speak. Of. It." Andre grumbles under his breath.

"So." Tori sighs, placing down her empty cup. "I'm ready for some dancing."

"Me too!" Robbie exclaims. "Uh… Beck, could you-"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll see what I can do." Beck sighs, beckoning Robbie up from his seat. Ha. Beck beckoning.

"And there goes Robbie stealing my date again." Jade groans, following them.

"C'mon ladies. Time to get our twerk on." Andre grins, giddy. I turn to Tori, taking her hands in mine.

"Dance with me?" I ask sweetly.

"As if you need to ask." Tori grins.

"That's what I like to hear! Let's get to it!" Andre exclaims, jumping up and already pumping his fists to the beat. Tori and I stand up, but a slow song hits just as we do. Andre throws his hands up in the air. "Seriously! Man…" But a pretty girl walks by and smiles at him, and Andre adjusts his shirt. "I'm okay with it." He claims, sauntering up to the girl. I giggle and hold my hand out, which Tori takes. We walk out together onto the dance floor.

"And I didn't even have to set it up this time for you two to dance." Jade smirks, hanging off of Beck. Tori's jaw drops.

"You did that?" She gasps.

"Yeah, what of it?" Jade smirks again with a challenging look in her eyes. Tori steps up close to Jade, narrows her eyes for a moment, and then smiles.

"Thank you." Tori expresses.

"Yeah whatever. Go dance with your girlfriend." Jade chuckles. Aw, it's like they're getting along. Tori envelops me in her arms and now it's like that night so long ago. Only this time, no interruptions. It's just me and her. Like it always should have been. I put my arms around her neck and we sway gently to the music. I give her a sweet smile.

"So, is this helping?" I ask.

"Helping what? I feel like I don't have a care in the world right now." Tori smiles.

"I guess that's a yes." I murmur, pulling my head up to her neck.

"I'm so glad I'm with you." Tori breathes. I squeeze her closer. "I'm just thinking how I felt that night… when we were dancing and then you were taken away. I didn't want to let you go."

"Now you don't have to." I sigh.

"I know… it's an incredible feeling." Tori agrees. We sway silently for a while. I'm hyperaware of the points where the skin of my arms meet the smooth slopes of her shoulders. Of the way her arms are securely holding me close at the waist. The heat radiating off her neck, warming my face. Despite the warmth, it gives me goosebumps.

"I'm happy too." I say finally. "If you told me six months ago that this is what I would be doing right now… I wouldn't believe you."

"I'm sorry it took me so long. I'll give six-months-ago Tori a kick for you." Tori chuckles. My brow furrows.

"If… if I had told you my feelings back in, like, April, how do you think you would've reacted?" I ask.

"I don't really know. Like I said, there was always something there when it came to you. I just didn't recognize it. Maybe if you had told me before everything happened, before the sonnets, before _him_… I know I would've accepted your feelings for sure. That would've never deterred me from you. But perhaps I would still need some time to realize my own feelings." Tori explains. I bite my lip.

"So… we wouldn't be together?" I croak. I feel Tori shake her head.

"I can't see that outcome happening. I feel like it would've happened anyway, just in a different way. It might sound cheesy, but that's how I feel. Like it was meant to be." Tori whispers. I lift my head from her neck and search her eyes, still biting my lip. She smiles at me, and I can't help but smile back. I lean in to give her a warm, inviting kiss.

"Tori…" I breathe, pulling back. My eyes open slowly, looking deep into the pools of her irises. Last time we danced, I told her I loved her. It slipped out. I didn't know what it meant. A strong bond of friendship coupled with confusing romantic feelings, most likely. Now... I really think I love her. Not just a love for a friend. Not just love spurred from gratefulness of what she's done for me in the past. Not even a love for the way she looks, talks, sings, and holds me. It's all of that, and more. I would do anything for her, and I trust her to not take advantage of that. She's the oxygen that fills my lungs with life, and I want to be her oxygen, if that makes sense. I want to tell her. The phrase sits on the tip of my tongue, dangerously close to revealing itself. But Tori had just told me not too long ago that the idea of love is confusing to her right now. I don't want her to feel pressured into saying anything back to me. I don't want to confuse her further. I need to give her more time. So my mouth hangs open slightly, a shuddered breath escaping from between my lips as the words are abandoned.

But the feeling is still overwhelming.

"Cat?" Tori furrows her brow as the song ends, obviously perplexed by my expression. I falter for a bit, feeling like my brain has stalled. A new song starts up, and it's a fast one, with a good beat and some cool sounds. I grin as I slide my hands down to her hips and step away slightly, moving to the sound of the music. Her face brightens up as she begins to dance along as well.

We smile and laugh as we shift our feet to the song, me shoving a fist in the air as I let out a whoop. Tori flings her head from side to side and her hair tickles my cheeks, making me giggle. The song continues and becomes even more upbeat and intense, and naturally our bodies move even closer as we dance. Eventually we're both pushed up against each other, moving our bodies together to the music. A strange heat crawls up my spine, and it's intoxicating. My heart pounds in my brain, and I wonder how it got up there. I meet Tori's eyes as we dance against one other. Her eyes are heavy, and intense. I lick my lip slightly and suddenly her lips are pressed to mine.

Our lips don't stay together very long, though, as Tori soon breaks it to drag her mouth over my cheek and then slides herself down to my neck, and starts to kiss there. Our bodies, still moving together, feel even warmer than before. I jut my head forward, and gently nibble on the lower part of her earlobe. It felt like the right thing to do. Next to my ear I hear Tori let out a small grunt from my actions, and she begins to suck gently on my neck. I gasp in surprise. My hands run up and down her back, to her hips, up her sides, and she shivers as my fingernails graze over her shoulder blades. We're not in the dance club anymore. There aren't a ton of people around us. All that has faded away. It's just me and Tori.

But we _are_ in a dance club, and there _are_ a bunch of people around us. And that's stopping me from really feeling Tori like I want to. To really express my love for her like I want to.

I pull back from our position, panting, looking into her heavy eyes. I see in her what I feel in myself. Desire. I put my hands around the edges of her jaw, still breathing heavily, the song still playing on.

"Can we… get some air?" I gasp out. Tori merely nods and the next thing I know she's pulling me out of the club. I think I catch sight of Jade giving us an incredulous look, but I can't tell. Right now it's all Tori.

We step out of the club and I let out a little pant and fan myself, but I feel her hand drag up my side and I lose all hope of controlling my bearings as I lean back into her, head hung back, jaw hanging open, as she continues to kiss my neck from behind. I turn and forcefully press my lips to hers, tasting her, running my tongue along her own. I _know _I moan this time. She stumbles back and drags her nails down my back, releasing my mouth with a gasp. She's pulling me along behind her, now, leading me somewhere. I don't know where, but I trust her.

The whole way I can't stop feeling her skin. A brush of the cheek. Dragging my knuckles down the exposed skin of her upper back. Her hands firm in my hair as we stop to work our mouths together once again. Her torso against mine. And I can't help but think about how much better and easier it would be to touch and experience more of each other if we didn't have this pesky fabric covering our bodies.

I feel myself pushed against something cold and metal as Tori runs her lips along my collarbone. My hands claw up her back again and I let out another moan. She turns to start fumbling with something in her clutch purse, and I take the opportunity to assault her shoulder with my own kisses. I nip gently at her skin and she shivers, righting herself up to kiss me again. She nibbles my bottom lip as I hear a jingle of keys, some clicks and a high-pitched beep. Her arm reaches around me and pops open the support behind me, pushing me even further into Tori. We must be at her car.

I step to the side, not breaking our kiss, and she yanks the door open. I fall back into her back seat, bringing Tori with me. I break the kiss to slide to the other side, and Tori quickly shuts the door behind her. She looms over me carefully, cupping my cheek. Her face is flushed, her eyes still heavy.

"Cat…" She breathes out. And just hearing her say my name like that was all I needed as I pull her to me to continue our kiss. To continue running my hands around her. To continue being with her in this moment, drinking in as much as I can.

I shudder again when I feel warmth spread to my side as her hand has found itself pushing up the material of my shirt, her fingers gently grazing around my ribcage. I gasp against her lips as she slowly moves her hand across and down my stomach. It's at this point where I become more aware of what we're doing, and for some reason, I don't care.

I break the kiss and scoop myself under her, using my stomach muscles to hold myself up as I kiss along her neck and collarbone and back up again. My hands rise from her hips and drag slowly up her front, brushing over her breasts. She lets out a cross between a moan and a gasp as she lurches forward at my touch. This lurching causes her legs, straddling my thigh, to move forward as well and press against the soft-spot between my legs.

And that's when everything stops being okay.

Instead of that warm tingle I had been feeling up my spine, it's immediately replaced with a sharp, paralyzing shock. Instantly, I'm filled with an intense fear. I'm not safe anymore. My vision blurs and my chest collapses, as if my body is betraying itself because it would rather not live and breathe right now than be in this situation again. I can't be here anymore. I can't let this happen again. I have to get away.

"**Get off!**" I shriek. In a nanosecond, the constricting force around me dissipates and I feel alone again, but I'm still not safe. I'm still filled with fear and vulnerability. I curl up and start to cry. I hate this feeling. The feeling of imminent danger. It's crushing. I sob it out as I usually do and wait for my breathing to regulate again. My vision fades back in and I'm able to make out the back of Tori's car.

Believe me, it's not like I didn't know it was Tori touching me. Never at any point did I feel like it was Derek. I have never been so aware of Tori before. But even so, when she hit that part… it was as if all our progress had been lost for that second. I was still the trembling, helpless girl in a room with a guy who wouldn't take no for an answer. Tori took no for an answer, though. She got off me so fast. And now she… where is she?

I turn my head up slightly, still crying, searching the confines of the car. Tori's crouched, pushed as far back as she can be against the other side of the back seat. I start to make out her face – it's twisted into a look of fear, concern, and confliction. It's not like she's not use to this… That doesn't make it any better, but at the beginnings of our relationship, this happened often. And even now when I am so comfortable with her touch, about a week and a half ago I had an attack from her brushing my leg. This is different, though… This was caused by a very intimate moment. By something that could have turned into what caused these kinds of responses for me in the first place.

"Th-that was stupid." I shudder. Tori stays silent. She looks sick. I gulp and try to sit myself up more. "I'm sorry. I know I say that all the time, but…"

"You shouldn't be sorry." Tori states plainly, but her voice is small.

"I still have some work to do, huh…" I sigh.

"You're fine, Cat." Tori mumbles.

"No I'm not. That wasn't fair to you-"

"Cat! Don't…" Tori sniffs. "I'm fine with you wanting to stop. I just wasn't thinking, which is the last thing I shouldn't do around you in a… moment like that."

"You were in control… you stopped." I say.

"**You're **always the one in control, Cat. I really want you to know that." Tori sighs.

"O…okay." I mutter. Remember when Derek tried to get me in bed the first time? I mean, I try not to remember, but it's relevant… I felt so uncomfortable afterwards that I didn't even want to be in his presence. The only person I wanted to be with is Tori. Now, Tori and I had a… moment, and it ended with me being freaked out and me shutting her down. But still all I want to do is be in Tori's presence. I want to cuddle up to her now more than anything, but I still feel the tantalizing fear creeping into every inch of my body, so I can't. I'm freaked out along with my girlfriend who I can't cuddle up to because of something Derek did months ago.

I've never hated another human being so much.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Tori asks softly after a long silence.

"I… think that would be best." I sigh. Tori nods and crawls out of the back seat into the front. I slowly follow her to the passenger seat.

"How's the anxiety?" She asks, pulling down the street.

"Still there, but manageable." I answer. Her hands grip the steering wheel hard.

"I'm really sorry, Cat." Tori's voice trembles. I look over to her and actually see a tear roll down her cheek. I'm… slightly confused at her intense reaction. Like I said, she's used to this.

"Tori…" I mutter. "Don't be sorry. This happens all the time."

She doesn't say anything as her jaw clenches. She's going to rust if she stays all tense like that. I furrow my brow and try to search her, but she keeps her face straight ahead. Usually I have a good read on her, but her tense and drawn back behaviour reminds me of the day I freaked out from the massage. I thought we had gotten over that. I lean back in my seat and wait silently. Finally, she pulls next to my house.

I look over and she's finally looking at me again, her face softened. I give her a small smile. "Was the dancing fun, at least?" I ask tentatively.

"Yes, of course. I enjoyed a lot of tonight. Thank you." Tori says.

"Good… I'm sorry it didn't… end well." I sigh.

"No it ended fine! I mean, minus the panic attack I gave you… but like I said, I don't expect more from you than what you can give…" Tori trails off, biting her lip. "I… I don't know. Let's just forget it."

"Sure." I say, tilting my head in confusion. I lean forward and peck her on the cheek, then move over to leave a soft kiss on her mouth. Her lips are just as tense as the rest of her body. I pull away, furrowing my brow. "Bye, Tori. Talk to you later?"

"Yeah." Tori smiles. I walk away from her car feeling odd and worried and confused and other feelings. Tori didn't seem mad, but she didn't seem… okay either. Did I really hurt her by shutting her down?

I had a bad anxiety attack today for the first time in a while. Of course I had a nightmare. But it wasn't about Derek. Tori told me she was going to leave me because she couldn't get everything she wanted in a relationship from me. It was also the first time in a while where I woke up crying.

* * *

One thing I love about L.A. is that it has pretty nice weather all year round. But today, and it being December 2nd, it's kind of chilly out, and I wish my sweater had been a little thicker. I mentioned I was cold to Tori, and she pulled me close to her to try and warm me up. So now we're here, after school and after rehearsals outside of Hollywood Arts and she's holding me like Friday's events are a distant memory. I sigh and relax into her as her body heat eventually stops me from shaking.

"Where is she?" Tori grumbles. I was going to Tori's house and Trina was picking us up. Over the weekend, the old lady Tori had hit spotted Tori's car in the driveway and decided to… get revenge. Long story short, Tori's car is in the shop now.

"Maybe she got held up." I murmur, resting my cheek against hers.

"Probably by a mirror." Tori groans, causing me to giggle. I squeeze her arms around my waist.

"You're warm." I sigh.

"So are you. Are you sure your hair isn't made of fire?" She asks. I shake my head.

"Just freshly baked red velvet cupcakes." I joke.

"Ah, that makes sense." She chuckles, and then places a kiss on the side of my head before burying her face in my neck. I love this girl. I turn around in her arms.

"You know I got red velvet lip balm recently? I just put it on for the first time in the washroom after rehearsal." I recall.

"I was wondering why I could smell it! I was starting to think your hair _was _made out of red velvet." Tori grins. I laugh and shake my head.

"Nope. Just my lips." I smile big to accentuate my point.

"It smells good." She says. I lean in closer and wrinkle my nose.

"Do you want to see if it tastes good?" I whisper. Tori's cheeks flush a red colour.

"Only if you want me to." She gives me a small smile. I lean back a bit.

"That's a silly question." I pout, causing Tori to laugh.

"Sorry. How foolish of me." She murmurs, leaning in. Our lips just barely graze when-

HOOOOOONNNNK

Tori and I let out a yelp as we jump back from each other. I clutch my heart and let out a long breath as Trina's car pulls up beside us. She rolls down the passenger window so we can see and hear her laugh manically.

"Oh my god! You should've seen the looks on your faces. Priceless!" Trina cackles.

"Wazz off, Trina!" Tori snaps. Trina gives her a little smirk.

"Fine. Tori, you can stay here. Cat, get in shotgun." Trina orders. Tori rolls her eyes and scoffs. I look between Tori and Trina. "Cat. You. Shotgun. **Now.**" Trina honks the horn a few times and demands so forcefully that I squeak and run into the passenger side. I buckle myself in and look at Tori expectantly. She walks over to the back door when – click – Trina locks her out.

"Haha, very funny, Trina. Open the door." Tori drawls, pulling forcefully on the handle.

"Oh, I'm being very serious. You can find your own way home." Trina states.

"Really? Ugh. I'm sorry I told you to wazz off now open the door! It's cold out." Tori whines.

"Not the point. I need to have a talk alone with Cat." Trina explains, waggling her eyebrows. Wait, Trina needs to talk to me? Tori walks back over and looks in the window at her sister.

"What could you possibly-" Tori starts, but her eyes widen in realization and she goes pale. "Trina. No."

"Later, baby sis!" Trina laughs, kicking the car into drive.

"Trina I swear to god!" Tori screams as Trina speeds away. She's still chuckling as she rolls up the window.

"That wasn't very nice." I frown.

"Meh. I had to get you away from her somehow." Trina shrugs.

"But how will she get home?"

"Cab, maybe? I don't know." Trina sighs. I shift uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry about the divorce." I mutter. Trina shrugs again.

"I was pretty mad at first, but know what I realized?" Trina says.

"What?"

"I found out that most famous people have family issues! Good sign for me, right?" Trina grins. I gape at her. Sometimes, even I can't believe what comes out of Trina's mouth. My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my pocket. It's a phone call from Tori. "Is that Tori?" Trina asks, snatching the phone from me.

"Hey!" I exclaim in protest, but Trina's already pressed a button and held up the phone to her ear.

"Hey girl! Cat can't come to the phone right now. We're having serious girl talk. Bye!" Trina says cheerfully. She ends the call and throws my phone behind her into the back seat.

"My phone…" I mumble.

"You won't need it right now." Trina claims.

"What did you want to talk about?" I ask.

"Look, I know it may not seem like it, but I care about Tori." Trina admits. I blink at her.

"It doesn't seem like you care about her at all." I comment.

"Well I do. And over the weekend she was pretty messed up and upset." Trina explains.

"She was?" I ask quietly.

"Yep. And let's face it, she's lost her maternal figure in her life recently. So as big sis, I had to step up." Trina states.

"What was she upset about?" I frown.

"You." Trina sighs. I feel my face go numb.

"What?! Why?" I gasp. I really upset Tori to the point of her finding comfort in _Trina_?

"Well, let's put it this way… when a man and a woman like each other very much… actually, in your case, a girl and a girl… there can be certain urges…" Trina explains. I shift uncomfortably again.

"Why are you saying this?" I ask.

"Because, Tori feels those urges for you." Trina states plainly.

"Oh." I say. So this is about Friday night. "So she's upset with me for stopping her…"

"Ha! Yeah right. This is Tori we're talking about here." Trina laughs.

"Then… What was she upset about?" I goad.

"She feels guilty for having these urges toward you, like she feels she's on the same level as your rapist for wanting to do those kinds of things with you." Trina rolls her eyes.

"What?!" I gasp.

"Crazy, right? I mean, it's perfectly natural to feel those things and yet Tori feels like they make her some kind monster." Trina sighs. "I mean, you went a little fast and you freaked out. Big deal! It's not like you didn't enjoy it in the meantime."

"I…" I fumble.

"C'mon, you can't tell me you didn't enjoy getting all hot and bothered with Tori. Fess up. I know you don't have much of a filter." Trina smirks. Like she's one to talk… "Do you get urges for Tori, too?"

"Yes." Dang it, I really don't have a filter.

"See! I knew it. Perfectly natural." Trina laughs. I blush as we pull into the Vega's driveway. "So, talk to Tori. Tell her she's not from the second circle of hell because she wants to grind up on you a little."

"Y-yeah, I will." I stutter, still blushing.

"Perfect." Trina smiles, getting out of the car. I reach into the back and get my phone. There's a bunch of texts from Tori.

_Cat_

_Don't listen to Trina_

_She doesn't know what she's talking about_

_Cat… _

_Just clap your hands over your ears or something_

_I don't think she took her medication this morning_

_Please, Cat_

_Don't hate me. _

I frown and lock my phone, getting out of the car myself. Not too long after a cab pulls up and an angry Tori comes ripping out.

"Did she talk to you?" Tori asks quickly. I nod my head. "… What about?" She asks further. I merely bite my lip uneasily, and that's all the confirmation Tori needs. She whips her head towards Trina. "You're dead to me."

"Oh, whatever! Try to do good things for people and this is how I'm repaid. Ridiculous." Trina huffs and storms into the house. Tori turns back to me, worried.

"Cat, I am _so _sor-"

I cut her off by touching her hand gently, making her freeze. "We need to talk." I mutter, looking at her solemnly. Her eyes go wide and she turns pale once again, nodding meekly.

I pull her behind me as we enter her house, and pass Trina who seems to be inspecting her toes on the couch. Tori's arm is limp as we ascend the stairs and head into her room. Once we're in, I release Tori's hand and close the door. She slowly walks over to a corner of her room and turns to me, arms crossed against her stomach as if she's trying to make herself small. I let out a breath.

"So…" I start. She bites her lip and doesn't meet my eye. "… According to Trina, you want me."

"…Define want." Tori mutters.

"Well I already knew you wanted me romantically, but now there's also… physically, in a sense." I sigh. "Is this true?"

"Yes." I can barely hear escape Tori's lips. Her eyes snap to mine. "And I feel absolutely horrible about it. Friday night, in my car… that was all my fault. I just… for some reason, I couldn't control my hands around you. I… Oh god, I feel awful. You deserve to be treated way better than that. You're more than that." Tori frowns. Wow, Trina was right. Oh, Tori…

"But it's fine that you feel those things." I assure.

"No it's not… I mean, the entire time you were probably hating it. I wasn't thinking. It's no wonder you cracked. I was just thinking about myself and-"

"You weren't thinking of just yourself." I state, tilting my head. I know because the way she touched me, she was obviously focused on making me feel good too. And she succeeded. "And I didn't hate it."

Tori blinks at me. "But… I just figured because… the first time with… him… you let it go on even though you were uncomfortable. I thought you might have been doing the same with me." Tori sighs.

"Haha! Tori, I know how to act, but I don't know how to act _that_ intimate." I laugh. Really, we're not allowed to learn about stage sex in high school. I stride up to her and take her face in my hands. "Want to know something?" I whisper.

"What?" She mutters, straight-faced.

"I want you too." I admit. Her eyes widen in shock.

"What? But… how? I mean… after what you've been through I figured…" Tori rambles. I roll my eyes.

"Yes, I'm afraid of the human touch, but that doesn't mean I still don't want it… specifically with you." I explain, stroking the sides of her face with my thumbs. "I was just as guilty when it came to what happened Friday night. I… couldn't get my hands off you." I smile shyly. Her eyes widen even more and her face flushes.

"I thought I was taking advantage of you… I felt no better than that disgusting pervert rotting in prison." Tori mumbles. My hands slide down to her arms and grasp them firmly.

"Tori... You. Are not. Him." I affirm slowly. "You could **never **be him." I look into her eyes, trying to make her understand. "You know why? Because you do feel these things. You want to be with me emotionally and physically. That's okay! I want it too. But I'm not ready to take that step yet… physically, emotionally or mentally. And unlike… Derek… I know you're actually okay with that… like, I _know _it." I declare strongly. Tori seems to relax so much.

"Thank you, Cat… That makes me relieved in so many ways." Tori sighs. "But honestly, even though I think about you like that… Friday was never going to progress from where it was anyway. I… _I'm _not ready to make that step yet. Remember Steven? I still want to wait. I want us to both be completely ready before we get close to that. Okay? And as I said before… You control it." Tori explains. I touch her cheek again.

"And if I feel ready and you're not… then you have the control, too. And we'll promise to be honest about how we feel about these things from now on, okay?" I state softly.

"Yes. Honestly, I was going to talk to you about it, but Trina…" Tori growls, her eyes shifting to the side. I giggle and give her a kiss.

"I think she had your best interest at heart." I say. She rolls her eyes.

"She has a weird way of showing it." Tori sighs. She pushes back a piece of my hair. "So, we both acknowledge that we… enjoy each other on a physical level."

"Mhm." I blush.

"And that's okay."

"Completely."

"But we're going to wait."

"Yes."

"So we're good?"

"We were never bad, Tori." I chuckle, nudging her chin lightly with my nose.

"Good." She breathes. Slowly, she puts her arms around my waist. "Look at us, talking out our problems like grownups."

"We're good together, huh?" I smile. She smiles back.

"The best." She leans in to capture my lips. We move our lips together for a bit before she breaks it to kiss lightly down my neck. I sigh, contented.

"Are you guys having sex yet?" We hear Trina ask from outside the door. We both whip our heads toward the direction of the door.

"**Trina!**" Our voices shout in unison.

"Geez! I was just curious. You're _welcome _for fixing your relationship!" Trina grumbles, leaving the outside of Tori's door. Tori turns back to me, her eyes shut tight and shaking her head.

"She's my sister and I love her. She's my sister and I love her." Tori mumbles.

"And she means well." I add.

"Yeah. That." Tori opens her eyes and smiles at me. I turn my head to the side, exposing my neck.

"Where were we?" I ask sheepishly. Her smile widens.

"I'll try to be careful not to touch you in any way that'll make you have an episode this time." Tori whispers.

"Kay kay." I murmur, then lean in close, and run my tongue over my teeth. "But not too careful."

"God, you make me crazy." Tori moans, leaning forward to leave her gentle kisses all over my neck. "And – mmm – Cat?" Tori says between kisses.

"Ye-ah?" I shudder.

"I love the taste of your new lip balm."

* * *

**Author's Notes: So, how's my first attempt at making Cat and Tori's relationship a little bit on the steamy side? Good? Horrible? You've lost all respect for me? I guess that's okay. Also, Cat's in love! Collective "aww". By the way, I'm so close to having to push back a posting date it's not even funny. I'm kind of nervous. My chapters seem to be getting longer and longer and oh my god I can't keep up. Help me, I need some moral support. **

**On the other hand, not too much longer now. There's still a fair number of chapters, but the end is in sight. Let me give you a general idea - this chapter takes place at the beginning of December, and I'm planning to have the story end in the upcoming June. So, we still have some ways to go. Hurray! For the record, my very British grandmother used to say "Ooh, that would be lovely!" all the time, so Cat's line was a reference to her. R.I.P, you badass grandma.**

**Fun Fact: When Cat and Tori are dancing and getting more and more... ehem... passionate, I picture the song being "The New Kings" by Popeska feat. Luciana. One of the best progressive electro mixes out there, in my opinion. Ch-check it out if you like that kind of thing. The song inspired the scene. **


	23. Lions and Ivy and Storms

**Oh my.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Nor do I own a camper... but if I did, I would take you all camping with me. Like I want to go camping. Let's go. Right now. I also don't own Chicken Fried by Zac Brown Band... yes, yes I just said that.**

* * *

"And there goes another term." Tori sighs, walking from the school building after our last class before winter break.

"Technically the term doesn't end until the beginning of February." Robbie informs.

"Technically you give me a headache." Rex quips, causing Robbie to scowl.

"I know, but it just feels like the year is going too fast." Tori says. I lean into her comfortingly.

"Don't think of it like that, Tor. Think of it as Christmas and New Years time!" Andre exclaims.

"Yes. Bask in the time off we have. You deserve it." Beck says. Jade gives him a glare. "Speaking of basking, Jade and I were thinking-"

"Just you." Jade cuts in.

"…_I _was thinking, since this is our last Christmas break together, we should all do something. Go on a weekend trip just before Christmas." Beck suggests.

"Ooh, that sounds like fun!" I say excitedly.

"Yeah! What were you thinking?" Robbie asks.

"I was thinking we would go somewhere where the ceiling can't possibly fall down on us. Camping." Beck says.

"I like the sound of no ceilings collapsing…" Andre winces.

"Camping? But it's winter." Tori points out.

"We can go somewhere more south, where it's still warm enough. We can take my R.V." Beck says.

"Oh, no. I am not chancing being stuck in that R.V. again. We are going to sleep in tents that I can cut myself out of, and we're going to go in a car with several doors." Jade argues.

"Fair enough." Beck agrees. "Is everybody in?"

"I don't know… what if we get attacked by a bear or mountain lion?" Robbie asks nervously.

"Don't be such a wussy-man. We're in." Rex answers.

"Rex! Since when do you like camping?" Robbie groans.

"There will be trees around, right? Obviously Rex wants to see where he came from." Jade smirks.

"Watch it, girl." Rex snaps.

"What do you think, Cat?" Tori asks me.

"I think it would be really fun." I smile.

"Okay, then I'm in." Tori says.

"Oh, great. Now you two can be all sickeningly sweet and romantic all weekend." Jade huffs.

"They won't be the only ones." Beck smiles, twisting Jade in his arms. "Canoe rides… long hikes in the forest… skinny dipping in the lake…"

"I like the sound of that." Jade bites down on Beck's bottom lip. I look at Tori and smile. Probably not the skinny dipping for us… but the rest does sound really romantic. Tori smiles back at me and winks.

Well, maybe a little skinny dipping.

Andre looks between Robbie and Rex, Me and Tori, and Beck and Jade. "Man, I need to get myself a girlfriend." He grumbles.

"You got to borrow Beck that one time." Tori teases.

"Why do people keep bringing stuff we agreed not to bring up? Huh? Why?" Andre exasperates. Tori laughs.

"So, send us the info?" Tori turns to Beck.

"Yep. Don't worry, it won't be a Yerba campsite." Beck jokes. Tori furrows her brow.

"Maybe this is a bad idea. Bad luck tends to follow us." Tori sighs.

"Aw, c'mon, Tor. What's the worst that can happen?" I ask her.

Under his breath, I hear Robbie mutter "Bears."

* * *

We had to wake up super early to leave for the campsite to claim our spot. We took Andre's van, but I think we under-estimated just how much stuff six people could bring camping, so we were all pretty squished. I was squished into Tori, though, so I slept pretty soundly the whole way there. We've just arrived.

"Ah, welcome to the great outdoors." Beck announces, stepping out of the van.

"Man, I gotta wazz!" Rex claims.

"Me too. Where's the restroom?" Robbie asks.

"No restrooms out here. Just the trees." Andre says.

"Yeah, pick a trunk. Any trunk." Beck suggests.

"That's so unsanitary!" Robbie whines.

"I don't care! Walk us to a secluded tree before your hand is damp from more than just sweat!" Rex orders. Robbie groans as he walks off into the bushes.

"Gross…" I mutter under my breath.

"Hey, babe?" Jade says to Beck. "About this whole… using the woods as a toilet…"

"Yeah, what about us?" Tori adds.

"We're girls." I state. Andre shrugs.

"Pop a squat?" He suggests.

"Gross…" I repeat.

"Don't worry, I'm sure there's some outhouses or a bathroom house somewhere along the main path." Beck assures.

"Still gross." I sigh. Tori puts her arm around me.

"Hey, it's part of the experience." Tori smiles. She tips my chin at her. "Be excited."

"Tori's right, Cat. It's a nice day so we can do anything we want. We can rent canoes or paddle boats, go fishing, hike down to the bird conservatory they have, or climb to the waterfalls, and later we can build a campfire and roast marshmallows and punch-free wieners." Beck lists off. A smile starts to form on my face.

"That does sound fun." I say.

"Great, Cat's happy. All is right with the universe. Where's the sunscreen?" Jade ask.

"Right here, babe." Beck says, passing it over from his bag.

"Sunscreen? We're covered in shade from trees." Tori questions.

"I like a fresh coat of pale." Jade states, rubbing the white substance on. "Besides, we're probably going to the lake soon."

"We aren't doing anything until we get the campsite set up." Andre comments, yanking out some poles and tarps from the back of the van.

"Here, let me help." Beck says, grabbing some of Andre's load.

"What can we do to help?" Tori asks.

"Uh, Cat can start getting out the chairs and set them up. Tori, you can grab the extension cord and find the electrical box for the cooler and radio. Jade, start unloading our sleeping bags and stuff. We'll sort through them later." Beck orders, measuring one of the tent poles. "Andre and I will set up the tents."

"I get to handle everyone's luggage? Great, where's Vega's?" Jade smirks.

"Don't you dare. My dad gave me bear mace for the trip. I'm not afraid to use it." Tori threatens.

"Ooh, kinky." Jade jokes.

"Hey!" I pout.

"I meant for me and my man." Jade explains dryly.

"Yeah, I'm not so much into that idea." Beck mutters.

"One day…" Jade sighs. Tori raises her eyebrow as she fishes for the extension cord. Robbie tumbles out of the forest.

"Guys! What does poison ivy look like?" Robbie asks, panicked.

"Why?" Andre says.

"Boy thinks he wazzed on some." Rex explains.

"Um… here." Andre shows a picture to Robbie on his phone. Robbie lets out a squeak.

"This is way worse than bears…"

* * *

After we set up and Robbie dumped a bunch of calamine lotion on himself, we went down to the lake. The water was freezing.

"I can't do it." I pout.

"C'mon, Cat. Where's the risk-taker I know?" Tori goads.

"It's so cold though!" I whine.

"You get used to it, Lil Red!" Andre calls out from far into the lake. I tap my foot into the water and get a shock of cold. I pull my foot back and shake my head.

"Can we stop with the hokey-pokey?" Jade groans, lounging on a floating mattress.

"Cat, come on. You'll like it. Join me." Tori pouts, sinking back into the dark water.

"I want to." I frown.

"Hey, how're you doing with the whole touching issue?" Beck asks me. Why is he bringing that up now?

"Um… still pretty bad." I mutter. "Unless it's Tori." I add, causing Tori to blush.

"Well that's a problem. Because usually at this point I would pick you up and carry you in myself." Beck sighs, giving Tori a pointed look. Tori smirks.

"I'm on it." Tori says sheepishly, stepping out of the water. Oh no.

"Tori Vega don't you dare." I yell.

"It'll be okay. Trust me?" Tori asks, wiggling her hips slightly. I'm about to run away but the motion causes me to admire her bikini-clad body. Her skin really does glow in the sunlight, and her skin looks so smooth and slender… and those curves I've traced with my hands so many times…

The next thing I know, she's scooping me up in her arms. That wasn't even fair.

"Tori!" I squeal, flailing my arms. But I'm smiling.

"Shh, trust me." Tori whispers, giving me a kiss on the side of my head as she wades into the water. I put my arms around her neck and look at her with a mock glare, causing her to laugh. "You ready?" She asks once she's deep enough that I'm just barely hovering above the water.

"No-YAAH!" The water licks at my backside causing me to squeal.

"I think that was a yes." Beck teases.

"Hmm, me too." Tori grins. My eyes widen.

"Tori- AHH!" I scream as she dips us both into the water. The cold water rushes over me and it's shocking, but it's not as bad as I thought. I sputter a bit as water rushes over my mouth and I splash at Tori playfully. "You're the worst!"

"But don't you feel better now that you're in?" Tori chuckles.

"Yes…" I admit, still pouting. Then I get a mischievous grin.

"What are you-" Tori starts, but is cut off by laughter caused by me squeezing her sides. "Okay, okay, stop! I'm sorry!" Tori gasps. Ha. Victorious.

"Babe, you coming in?" Jade asks Beck who is still on the shoreline.

"Nah, it's way too cold." Beck jokes.

"Oh no you don't." Jade growls, slipping off her lounger and running after Beck on the beach. They run along the shore laughing, and me and Tori laugh along with them. I turn to Tori, my arms secure around her neck again.

"So now that I'm in, now what?" I grin. Tori smiles and leans in to close the distance between our lips. Just before we touch, a beach ball bounces off of Tori's head.

"Okay, who doinked me?" Tori turns around, glaring. Robbie and Andre are pointing at each other.

"Come play water volleyball with us! Me and Robbie against you and Cat." Andre suggests.

"Fine. But loser has to rub calamine lotion on Robbie for the rest of the trip." Tori wagers, making me giggle. Robbie turns desperately to Andre.

"We _have _to win." Robbie pleads.

"Okay, as creepy as that is, I don't want to rub any lotion on you so… Let's do it!" Andre says.

They didn't win.

* * *

After we started to prune from the water, we decided to change activities. Beck, Jade, Robbie and Andre went down to the docks to fish. I thought about going too. I mean, fishing sounds fun, but I asked how it works… Tori explained to me that it involved getting a hook stuck into the mouth of the fish, which sounds painful. I'd feel too bad for the fish, so I figured it wasn't for me. No problem, Tori decided we could go for a hike up to the waterfalls. I like that idea better. No hooks.

"You ready to go?" Tori asks, slinging a back pack over her shoulder.

"Just a second." I tell her, unplugging my camera from the power bar. "Kay, I'm ready." I announce, skipping over to her.

"You got enough water?" Tori checks.

"Yes, and I have band-aids in case I scrape myself. And I have sunscreen, bug repellent, and my GPS on my phone…" I list off.

"Alright, we sound good to go." Tori smiles.

"Yep!" I leap onto her arm. "Lead the way!"

"Hold up." We hear behind us. Jade walks onto the campsite. "I'm coming, too."

"Aren't you fishing?" Tori asks.

"I hate the smell of fish, but I like waterfalls." Jade shrugs.

"Yay! The three of us can bond!" I smile. Jade rolls her eyes.

"Are you sure there's no ulterior motive? Like, murdering me and leaving my body for some park ranger to find?" Tori asks suspiciously.

"Who knows? I am kind of curious about the answer to the question: If a Vega dies in a forest, will anybody hear her screams?" Jade smirks.

"Jade!" I whine.

"Don't make me punch you in the jaw again." Tori threatens. Jade swaggers right up to Tori's face.

"Try it, Vega." Jade glares.

"Guys, stop it!" I scold.

"Relax. We're just… bonding." Jade smirks and saunters by. Tori sighs as we watch Jade go by. "You two coming or what?"

"If she tries to kill me, you'll stop her, right?" Tori whispers to me.

"With every fibre of my being." I whisper back. It's the same thing Tori said about looking after me right before the trial.

"Okay." Tori breathes as we follow Jade. We eventually find the path heading up to the waterfalls. "Watch out for poison ivy. Don't want to end up like Robbie." Tori warns us.

"Oh but if you touched any, then Cat could rub calamine lotion all over your body." Jade teases. Both Tori and I blush beet red. "Doesn't that sound fun?" Jade turns to look at us and smirks. "I thought so."

"That's so not appropriate." Tori comments.

"Worth it to see that look on your face." Jade laughs.

"I don't ask you and Beck about the intimate details of your relationship." Tori argues.

"Maybe you should. I bet we could give you and Cat some pointers…" Jade says sultrily.

"Jade!" I squeal, blushing.

"I'm just teasing. I know you two have a bit of a handicap in that… area." Jade sighs. Tori and I glance at each other awkwardly. "You might as well enjoy the things you _can_ do. Like lotion." She winks.

"Ugh." Tori scoffs, still flushed.

"Can we change the subject?" I plead.

"Sure." Jade agrees. "Have you both told each other that you love them, yet?"

"Really, Jade?!" I huff.

"Give me a break." Tori groans.

"What? We're all friends here… somewhat." Jade glances at Tori. "I'm merely curious."

"Who asks that, though?" Tori mutters.

"It's not really a loaded question." Jade states. "Judging by your reactions, I would guess not…" She says. We look down awkwardly. "That's what I thought. Interesting. It's been a while… coming up on five months, aren't you? And being close friends for so long before that…"

"Well when did you and Beck first tell each other?" Tori snaps.

"Three weeks after we started dating." Jade smirks. "And I've never stopped meaning it. That's right, I'm capable of love."

"Sorry we couldn't be as immediate as you. Every couple is different." Tori argues. Jade rolls her eyes.

"Yes, but it's you and Cat. _You _and _Cat_. It's blatantly obvious to everyone else how deeply you feel for each other. I don't know why you can't just admit it." Jade says.

"Is it really obvious? Really?" Tori glares. I look between them, feeling small in the cross fire.

"Well, to me and everyone with eyes…" Jade clicks her tongue, studying Tori. "But I guess not to you. Still denying some feelings, Vega?"

"I… no. It's just… it's complicated. And none of your business." Tori mutters. Jade clicks her tongue again, turning to me.

"How about you, Ms. No-Filter. How do you feel about-"

"Ooh, wow! Look at how huge that tree is!" I exclaim, running over to it. I have never been happier to have ADHD. "Jade, take a picture of me and Tori next to it!"

"No." Jade states.

"Please?" I pout. Jade lets out a huff.

"Fine. Make it quick." Jade orders. I hand her my camera and grab Tori, dragging her to the foot of the tree. I put an arm around her waist and she slings her arm around my shoulder. Tori leans her head close to my ear.

"Thank you." She mumbles. I smile wider and give her an understanding squeeze around the waist. I still don't want to put Tori in a position where she has to admit something she's not ready to feel. Jade clicks the camera.

"Kay, let's go please." Jade drawls.

"Wait, let's get a picture with me and you!" I suggest.

"Oh hell no. Off we go." Jade states, walking back to the path.

"Phooey." I pout.

"It's probably for the best. Jade's negative vibes might've caused the tree to die." Tori chuckles.

"I heard that, Vega. And you're probably right." Jade shouts. I giggle as we continue to head up the path. It gets increasingly more rocky and difficult to traverse as we go, so Tori and I have to spend a lot of time hanging off each other to make sure the other doesn't fall. Jade pushes through on her own like a champ. We walk in silence, which is fine by me. It's way better than that other awkward conversation.

Eventually the rocky terrain starts to become lusher with greenery as we find ourselves walking along the bank of a river. The surface of the gently flowing water is clear and reflective, and I can even see some fish swimming along the bottom. I hope they don't meet a hooky fate on account of my own friends. Jade keeps up a brisk walk ahead of us as I continue to watch the water, Tori gently guiding me along the path with her hand in mine. I notice the water becoming more and more rushed and frantic. I start to not be able to see the bottom or fish as the river is coated by a frothy white foam.

"Is it raining?" Tori asks, wrinkling her nose.

"It's mist. We must be getting close." Jade answers back to us. Jade is right. She turns around the bend and stops, giving a look of approval. "Huh. Good job, nature."

Tori and I catch up, turning to see what Jade sees. It's a large gorge area containing a tall cliff with gallons of water spilling off of it into the aquamarine basin down below. The sunlight is hitting the mist perfectly, creating a half rainbow floating majestically in the middle of the gorge. The path continues up the side of the cliff, a guard rail running alongside it.

"Wow, it's beautiful." I gape.

"It sure is." Tori breathes. Jade turns to stare at us, and Tori blinks at her. "What?"

"Nothing. I was just expecting you to be all lame and be looking at Cat when you agreed it was a beautiful sight." Jade shrugs.

"Pfft, I try to be original when it comes to being romantic, thanks." Tori scoffs.

"Mhm." Jade shrugs again, gaining an eye-roll from Tori.

"Guys, please. Can we just enjoy ourselves? I know you both secretly consider each other friends." I accuse. Tori and Jade glance at each other.

"Fine. I can be civil." Jade agrees. "For now." She adds, mumbling.

"Thank you." Tori says. "Cat, give me your camera. I'll go up and see if I can get some pictures." She offers.

"Kay, kay!" I smile, handing over my camera. "Try not to get too much water on it." I warn.

"I'll be careful." She smiles. She starts the incline and I whip my head to Jade.

"Why are you being so rude?" I whisper.

"You are in love with her, aren't you?" Jade states plainly, catching me off guard.

"I, uh… yeah." I blush, making her smirk.

"I knew it. And have you told her?" Jade asks.

"No. You saw how she reacted. She's not ready for that much commitment." I explain quietly.

"Please. She's totally committed to you. She's just holding herself back, for whatever reason." Jade muses. I stay quiet and she looks pointedly at me. "…You know why, don't you?"

"Her mom had an affair and now her parents are going through a divorce. Of course her feelings are going to be skewed when it comes to the L word." I mutter.

"Interesting choice of words." Jade chuckles, but then her voice drops. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to get a rise out of Vega so she would admit her feelings for you. Give her a push in the right direction."

"You can't push her, Jade. Maybe she loves me, maybe she doesn't. Either way, I want her to come to that conclusion on her own time." I explain. Jade leans back, eyeing me.

"You've always been pretty insightful when it comes to Vega, huh?" Jade comments.

"Well… I do love her, after all." I smile, blushing. That's the first time I've said it out loud.

"I know you do. And I don't want her keeping you waiting for the confirmation from her for too long." Jade states.

"I'm keeping her waiting for some things, too." I mutter. "But we're both working on it together. That's what it's all about. Working at it. And, Jade?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for, I don't know… Caring about my relationship. Even if it means you being mean to my girlfriend." I chuckle.

"Yeah, yeah… She can hold her own, anyway. I just want to make sure you get the best." Jade says, and them mumbles, "Because that's what you deserve."

"What was that? I didn't hear." I smile, teasingly.

"I _said _you deserve the best." Jade huffs. I smile bigger.

"Thanks, Jade. You've always looked out for me."

"I don't understand it either." Jade scoffs. Tori comes rushing back down the path, looking nervous. I furrow my brow, worried.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Did you get a decent picture?" Jade adds dryly, earning a look from me.

"Um, yeah. But look." Tori says, turning my camera screen towards us.

"Oh, that's a nice picture. You got the rainbow in and everything." I compliment.

"Yeah, look above the rainbow, up on the other side of the cliff." Tori instructs. I look and I see a figure, with a long face, short ears, slender body, whiskers and giant paws.

"Is that a…" Jade trails off. We whip our heads to look at the cliff. Nothing is there now. I turn nervously to Tori and gulp.

"I thought Robbie was just being paranoid when he said there were mountain lions." I tremble.

"Either way, I'm not sticking around here. Let's head back to camp. _Carefully._" Jade emphasizes. Tori and I nod and we quickly head back down the path, glancing every which way. I hold on to Tori tightly the entire way. I should be scared, but all I can think of is if the mountain lion were to pounce at Tori, I would do _anything _to tackle it as if it were a flower bomber. Yeah, I would put my life on the line for Tori, and I'd depend of her to want to do the same for me, even if I wouldn't want her to. I think I hear a growl and I squeak, causing Tori to hold me closer.

I know she would do the same for me.

* * *

When we got back to the campsite we ran down to the docks screaming for the guys. Beck suggested we call a park ranger so we did. Someone in a uniform came to our campsite and Tori showed him the picture. He called someone on his walkie-talkie and told us that there would be patrol looking for the mountain lion, and not to worry. I asked them not to hurt it because, well, maybe it's just lost. He smiled and assured me they were just planning on relocating it. That makes me feel a little better. We all stuck close to the campsite for the rest of the day, though. It was getting late anyway.

Andre set up the campfire, but he couldn't get the fire to catch. Jade walked casually up to it, took a deep breath, and blew into the embers. The logs immediately went up in flames. We stared at her in disbelief.

"Nice going, Charizard." Robbie states.

"Hrg**nerd**hck." Rex comments through a cough.

"What? I've got a lot of hot air." Jade smirks.

"That's my girl." Beck smiles, putting an arm around her when she sits down next to him.

"Well alright then." Andre claps his hands together now that his job is done.

"Who's got the wieners?" I ask.

"Ha! As if you or your girl want any of those." Rex quips.

"Rex!" Robbie hisses. I look over at Tori expecting her to be scowling, but she has a sweet smile on her face.

"Awh, Rex. I'm so glad you're here. You'll be great for when we run out of fire wood." Tori says smoothly. This even warranted a snort from Jade.

"Hey now, be nice to me. I'm attached to a slowly rashing boy." Rex gripes.

"Which reminds me, I better reapply…" Robbie trails off. Andre gives an uneasy look. "Oh, no, don't worry, I won't make you do that."

"Uh, excuse me? You two lost today. We had a deal." Tori argues.

"Yeah. Andre has to apply all calamine lotion on Robbie." I smile.

"C'mon girls. What could you possibly gain from that?" Andre groans.

"Endless entertainment." Tori smirks. I nod in agreement.

"Man, why am I always doing the gay things?" Andre grumbles. Tori leans forward, resting her chin on her fist.

"Is there something wrong with being gay, Andre?" Tori teases.

"W-well no, it's just…" Andre starts.

"And do you consider me saving your life back during the earthquake 'gay'? I thought it was a gesture of a very trusting friendship." Beck adds.

"Of course, I was just sayin'… Oh, forget it. I'll go get the stinking lotion." Andre grumbles.

"You're a trooper, Andre!" Tori chuckles.

"Good thing it's just around my ankles." Robbie mutters. After we witnessed a very odd foot and ankle rub between Robbie and Andre, we roasted hotdogs and marshmallows as well as melted chocolate and dipped strawberries in it. After that we passed around chips while Robbie got out his guitar. He strings a few chords and starts to sing.

"_It's fun to run, it's fun to play, it's fun to make things out of clay. It's fun to fill your car with gas, it's fun to break… things made of_-"

"NO!" Jade shouts, startling Robbie into stopping.

"Do you know any other songs other than ones about broken glass?" Tori groans, rubbing her temples.

"Um, I wrote a song for Cat once…" Robbie mutters. Silence hangs in the air as Tori stares at Robbie.

"Okay! Well I don't think that would be very appropriate now. Here, give me your guitar." Beck suggests, wandering over to Robbie and holding out his hand. Robbie hands it over and Beck gingerly sits back down. He smirks slightly as he begins to play. "_And a little bit of chicken fried. Cold beer on a Friday night. A pair of jeans that fit just right, and the radio uuup. Well I've seen the sunrise, see the love in my woman's eyes, feel the touch of a precious child and a mother's looove._"

"Incredible. My boyfriend just got hotter." Jade gapes.

"Beck, man I didn't know you liked country." Andre comments.

"I like a little of everything." Beck shrugs, smiling.

"Ouch!" I hiss, slapping my calf.

"What? What happened?" Tori asks.

"Something bit me." I wince.

"Probably a mosquito. They're biting like crazy tonight." Andre says, rubbing his neck and swatting around his head.

"It's probably because it's pretty humid out. Maybe there will be a storm tonight." Beck theorizes.

"No." I say quickly. "I checked. There won't be a storm."

"Regardless, there's like a cloud of them around us." Robbie complains also swatting around his head.

"Here, I've got something for you." Tori says to me, standing up and heading over to her bag.

"Hey, you getting mosquito repellent?" Beck asks.

"Yep." Tori answers, rummaging through her bag.

"Grab my VapoRub from my bag while you're at it." Beck requests.

"Sure thing." Tori agrees.

"You feeling sick, babe?" Jade asks.

"Nope." Beck smiles. Tori pulls the VapoRub out of his bag, her mosquito repellent already in hand.

"Then why do you need it?" Tori asks.

"It helps keep the mosquitoes away." Beck informs. We stare at him for a moment.

"And how do you know that?" Andre asks.

"I don't remember. I've used it my whole life, though. It works great." Beck insists. He looks at Tori. "Go on, try it. Just dab a little bit around."

"Er… Okay. Cat, want to try it?" Tori asks.

"Sure." I giggle. Tori hands me the bottle of spray.

"Here, spray yourself while I put some VapoRub around your neck and such." Tori says. I nod and close my eyes as I let the mist comb over my skin and body. I shiver as Tori's hand and a small amount of the slick cream slides over my neck and shoulders. I catch Jade's eye, who is giving me a knowing smile. I avert my eyes, blushing. "Wow, it really works. They're literally turning away as soon they get near you." Tori observes.

"Yay! Fear me, bugs!" I cheer.

"Ack, now they're after me. Do me." Tori requests, handing me the VapoRub. I hear Robbie choke a bit at Tori's choice of words. After swiftly and gently (I may have dragged my fingers over her skin longer than was needed) applying it to Tori, everyone was asking to use it.

"See? What'd I tell you?" Beck smiles.

"You are one crazy woodsman." Andre chuckles.

"Jade, you want some?" Robbie asks, holding out the little tub.

"No. Mosquitoes don't bother me." Jade shrugs.

"Why not?" Robbie asks.

"They know who not to bite." Jade glowers.

"She's like one of those purple lights that electrocute any bugs they dare get near." Beck smirks. I look over to Tori and she's giving me a longing look. I guess she's still thinking about how it felt when I applied the VapoRub. I giggle and cuddle up to her. She lets out a contented sigh, practically collapsing against me as she runs her nails up and down my arm.

Beck picks up the guitar again and teaches us some country songs that we eventually sing along with. It was like we were in the Wild West. It was adorable. Luckily, no scary stories from Jade this time. Eventually I let out a big yawn.

"Tired?" Tori chuckles.

"Mhm." I nod.

"Yeah, I think we're all a little tired. We should turn in for the night." Beck suggests. So we did. We had two tents set up – one for the guys and one for the girls. We took turns changing and then we just brushed our teeth and such by the edge of the forest. I guess this is what they call "roughing it". Tori and I climb into our tent, but Jade rushes past us quickly, taking the middle spot.

"Nope!" Jade exclaims, sidling into her sleeping bag. Tori and I stare at her. "What? No way I'm sleeping in here while you two are snuggling up to each other." She scoffs. Tori and I look at each other. "…Have you two even slept in the same bed overnight since getting together?"

"Not really, no." I say, shifting uncomfortably.

"Oh, lord. You two." Jade huffs, flipping on her stomach. We both sigh and lie down on either side of Jade. I lie there for a while, staring at the ceiling of the tent. I can hear the guys in the other tent, muttering to each other.

"Hey, Tori?" I start.

"Hmm?" She answers softly, but she doesn't sound tired.

"You don't think the mountain lion will attack us in the night, do you?" I ask, worried.

"I wouldn't worry about that. The park rangers said they'd take care of it." Tori assures me.

"Okay." I sigh.

"The mountain lion will be the least of your worries if you two don't s_top talking_." Jade warns, muffled by her pillow.

"…Know what I've always wondered?" Tori says, slowly.

"Who was the first person who thought it'd be a good idea to milk a cow and drink whatever came out?" I question.

"Oh. Uh, no. But, that is a good point. I'd rather not think about it. Either way, I was wondering about the whole Moose thing." Tori says.

"They milk Moose too?" I ask.

"No, I mean Moose, Beck's friend." She chuckles.

"Oh." I giggle. "What about him?"

"You had feelings for me for a long time, right? Then, why did you act like you liked him so much?" Tori asks.

"Honestly? I… This is going to sound horrible." I blush.

"I won't judge." Tori chuckles.

"I… was trying to get him to like me because I didn't want him to have you." I blush. "I know, it sounds horrible and I shouldn't have but-"

"No, no. It's… sweet, I guess. That you were jealous." Tori chuckles.

"As if you were never jealous." I smile.

"You can't prove anything." Tori mumbles.

"Well, there's the hot cheese and Danny, which you admitted yourself… and then a lot of your behaviour can be explained by jealousy while I was with Derek… You even seemed a little jealous tonight when Robbie said he wrote a song for me."

"Okay, okay. You caught me. I was jealous." Tori admits.

"You have me now, though. And you're all I want." I giggle.

"Really? Really, is this going to be a thing? The late night talking?" Jade grumbles.

"You can sleep through anything." Tori retorts.

"Not this noise." Jade huffs. We're silent again for a bit.

"Know what_ I_ always wondered?" I ask after a sizeable about of time.

"The cow thing?" Tori ponders.

"Well, that, and also… You came from another school before Hollywood Arts, but I've never met any of your friends from there. Or hear about them." I explain.

"Oh… that." Tori sighs. "This is kind of pathetic, but… at my old school I was sort of a wallflower. I never really fit in, but I never really stood out, either."

"What a surprise." Jade snaps into her pillow.

"…Anyway, it's not like I was particularly unpopular. I mean, I did date Danny for a bit. And I socialized at school. But I just… I never really had a group of friends that fit, or that I'd want to hang out with outside of school. Honestly, you guys were probably my first real friends since middle school." Tori continues.

"I find that hard to believe. Who wouldn't want to be your friend?" I ask.

"I don't think other people were the problem. I guess I was just… waiting for the right people. People I could really relate to. I found that at Hollywood Arts. It's part of the reason I love it so much. Plus, I met you." Tori explains, making me blush and giggle.

"Ugh!" Jade growls, roughly getting up.

"Good morning, Jade." Tori smiles, earning a glare from Jade.

"Where you going?" I ask.

"To the other tent. You guys are infuriating." Jade grumbles.

"But their tent is full. What are you going to do? Sleep on top of Beck?" Tori teases.

"Wouldn't be the first time." Jade mutters, zipping up the tent and stepping outside with her sleeping bag and pillow. Another zip, and with the sound of Jade stomping away and mumbling profanities, Tori and I are left alone in the tent. I immediately scoot closer, closing the distance. I can see her shy smile through the beams of moonlight filtering into the tent.

"We should go to sleep. Long day of activities tomorrow." Tori whispers.

"Okay. Goodnight, Tor." I murmur.

"Night, hun."

* * *

I awake with a start, the panicked feeling of a fresh nightmare causing my breathing to be laboured. Why did I have a nightmare? I didn't have any triggers today. And then I become aware of what's happening around me. The air is cold. I can hear the low rumble of a recent loud crack of thunder trailing off in the night. The rain is falling so heavily I can't differentiate the individual drops on our tent. It's all white noise. And then the tent is frequently illuminated by flashes of lightning, followed by more cracks of thunder. Each flash of light brings back a more detailed flashback. Each clap of thunder causes me to almost feel every painful sensation. In some ways, it's winding me more than usual because I've gotten so used to not dealing with them. This is just yet another reminder that I'm not better, no matter how well I seem to be doing.

I pull my knees up to my chest and shake, trying to will everything away. I place my hands over my ears, but it doesn't help. I left my noise cancelling headphones at home. Stupid. I chance opening my eyes again. I can see Tori's face in front of mine, sleeping soundly. I want to reach out for her, but she seems so peaceful. I can't drag her out of that state and into my chaotic world. More flashes happen and tears start to fall down my face. I need the storm to stop. I hate feeling so set back like this.

A very loud crack of thunder happens, causing me to whimper. Tori immediately sits up at the sound of the thunder. She pauses for a moment, collecting her bearings, and then looks down at me. I'm looking up at her, my eyes wide and scared, tears streaked down my face. "Oh god, how long has this been going on?" She asks. I can only whimper in response. She lays back down, pulling me into herself, and I snuggle up gratefully. "Why didn't you wake me?" Tori mutters into my hair. Again, I can only sniff. "I'm here, now. I'm with you."

"Tori…" I whisper. "I h-hate all th-these setbacks."

"The path to healing isn't a straight line. There will always be setbacks." Tori philosophizes.

"Th-that was beautiful." I tremble out, smiling slightly.

"I think I read it in a fortune cookie from B.F. Wangs once." Tori chuckles. Another loud clap of thunder and I squeak, cuddling into Tori more to try and block out the images flashing through my mind. I breathe her in deeply. I can still smell a bit of VapoRub on her.

"I-I'm in control." I stutter to myself.

"Yes, you are." Tori affirms. "Geez, it's really coming down." She notes. I feel her place a kiss on my head. "Is there anything I can do to make it better?"

"Just k-keep talking to me." I instruct. "I'll focus on your voice."

"Okay." Tori agrees. "Cat, you're strong, and beautiful, and you mean so much to me. I feel like I don't tell you enough." Tori murmurs to me softly. My hand bunches her t-shirt around her waist.

"You tell me plenty." I say back.

"I hope you believe it." Tori sighs, rubbing my back soothingly.

"You make me want to." I assure her before wincing at another bright flash and loud crack of thunder.

"Shh, it's okay… I've got you. I've always got you." Tori whispers.

"I know. Thank you." I mutter into her neck. She leaves another kiss on my head. My trembling calms down a little bit.

"And thank you for making sure I didn't end up with Moose. I'm much happier this way." Tori states. I smile slightly.

"You're welcome. But I think I was still being overdramatic… I was being stupid. Not just with Moose… with all the guys I flirted with." I admit.

"You didn't like any of them?" Tori asks. I shake my head, nuzzling her at the same time.

"Just you."

"Then… why did you flirt? Most of them weren't even interested in me, so you didn't have to worry about that." Tori ponders.

"I… I figured I could never have you, so I tried to force myself to like them." I mutter. "Like I said, it seems stupid now…"

"Oh, Cat…" Tori sighs. "You shouldn't have put yourself through all that."

"I don't think you realize how crazy I was over you… How crazy I a_m _over you." I explain.

"So, even Derek…" Tori trails off. I shudder a little bit at the name.

"An attempt to get over you. I used him. I'm actually no better than he was." I admit solemnly.

"Don't say that." Tori says firmly. "Now I feel even worse about not realizing my feelings sooner… I feel like so much could have been avoided…"

I nuzzle my head into the crook of her neck again. "It doesn't matter. It's in the past. We're together, and I couldn't be happier, even under the circumstances of what happened. You're here to protect me. I can never repay you." I sigh. A loud crack of thunder sounds again and I squeak, causing Tori to squeeze me closer as if to emphasize my point.

"You've been here for me too. With what I've been going through." Tori sighs sadly, causing me to hold her closer to me as well. That's right. I need to protect her from the harsh parts of the world, too.

"It's been no problem, believe me. I don't want to be anywhere else than here for you." I state.

"That's what I've been telling you the entire time… How I don't even have to think about how much I want to protect you. It just feels so easy, and natural, and I- _Oh._" Tori stops short. I furrow my brow.

"And you what?" I ask. Tori is silent. I pull my head back from its safe and snuggled placement to look up at her. "Tori?"

She looks at me, her eyes wide with something I can't read. I give her a concerned look, the storm around us almost all but drowned out. Her eyes slowly soften and grow heavy as she breaks into a smile. "Sorry, I zoned out." She apologizes.

"No kidding. What were you thinking abou-mmm." Tori cuts my words off with a deep kiss. She pulls me up against her gently, and my hands rest up on the sides of her face, almost all concerns forgotten. I can't get over how she affects me. Just barely, the sound of another thunder clap reaches me and I tense, pulling away. She leaves a lingering kiss on my forehead before nuzzling gently against my head. I cuddle back, letting out a shuddered sigh. Then I feel an odd sensation.

"Tori…" I start.

"Mmm?" She mutters against my pulse point.

"I'm… wet." I inform. I feel Tori tense and pull back slowly, searching my eyes cautiously.

"I… don't really know what to say, Cat. I thought we agreed we were going to wait…" Tori says slowly. I furrow my brow in confusion.

"What? Why'd you bring… oh. **Oh**." I gasp my realization. "No! I don't mean it like that. I mean like, actual water… on my back." I explain. Tori's eyes squint curiously before reaching over me. She places a hand down behind me and I hear a splash.

"Chiz. The tent's flooding." Tori exasperates, pulling me up into a sitting position with her. I look to see the small puddle coming from the corners inching towards us in the middle.

"What do we do?" I ask, panicked. Lightning flashes and we see the outline of someone outside the tent.

"Girls! You okay in there?" The figure shouts over the storm. I shriek in surprise, jumping on Tori's lap.

"It's okay, it's just Andre." Tori assures me soothingly. "Our tent is filling with water!" She shouts to him.

"So was ours. We're heading to the van. Come on!" Andre says, his figure disappearing with another lightning flash. Thunder rumbles overhead as Tori begins to pull me up with her, but I stop her.

"Tori. I can't. I can't go out there. It's bad enough in here." I whimper, taking her face in my hands.

"Honey…" Tori sighs, stroking my cheek. "We can't stay in here."

I know she's right. The water is already lapping at our feet. "I'm… I'm scared." I tremble.

"I know. But I'll be with you." Tori assures me. I take a deep breath and nod. She pulls me up again and unzips the tent. A spray of raindrops greets us from the entrance. Putting an arm protectively around me, she leads us out. I don't make it very far. The thunder, lightning and rain are overwhelming. I feel my legs give out in fear and I fall into the mud below, hyperventilating. I feel Tori's arms envelope me, but I try to push her away in a panic. Despite my efforts, her arms scoop under me and suddenly I'm bounding along in her arms just like when she carried me into the lake. I submit to her, trusting her now like I did then.

I hear the slide of a door, and the sound of the storm becomes muffled as I'm pulled into a drier area and the door slams shut behind me. Trying to catch my breath, my vision blurred from tears, I'm guided through the small space until I'm placed gently on a soft seat, Tori's warm body squeezing by me to plop down beside me. I turn myself into her, wrapping my arms around her neck.

"Is she okay?" I hear Jade ask.

"She will be, now. I hope." Tori sighs, running her hand through my wet hair. "That was a lot for her."

"I can imagine. I thought there wasn't supposed to be a storm tonight." Beck says.

"Weather man lied." Andre grumbles. I pull back slowly from Tori, my breathing regulated a bit more. We're nestled in the back seat of Andre's van. Beck and Jade are in the middle seats while Andre and Robbie are in the front seats. Tori continues to run her fingers through my hair, looking into my eyes with affection.

"You alright?" She asks softly. I nod, swallowing hard. We're both really muddy. I probably pulled her down into the mud with me.

"Sorry about your seats, Andre." I mutter.

"No worries, Lil Red. As long as you're safe." Andre assures me. I nod and cuddle back into Tori.

"Now what?" Jade huffs.

"Why don't we go somewhere?" Robbie suggests.

"Yeah, like that 24 hour diner we saw off the highway near the campsite. Get some warm drinks in us." Beck says.

"That sounds heavenly." Tori sighs.

"Alright, let's do it." Andre states, starting up the vehicle. He pulls the van into drive, presses the gas and – nothing. We hear the engine revving but we won't move.

"Andre. Drive the stupid van." Jade growls.

"I'm trying, woman! I think it's too muddy. The tires are stuck." Andre groans.

"Alright, let's get out and push." Beck says, putting a hand on the handle.

"**Wait**!" Robbie shouts. "Don't get out of the car!"

"What? Why?" Beck asks, pausing. Robbie points with a shaky hand.

"That." Robbie squeaks.

"Oh, chiz." Andre gasps. We look to see the headlights of the van illuminating the area in front of it, and in the midst of the pouring rain, looking right at us, is a mountain lion.

My eyes snap to Tori's and I know we're thinking the same thing. If she hadn't have carried me out of the storm, I could have ended up a snack for the lion. She saved me. "Tori…" I breathe just before mashing my lips to hers.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" Jade yells.

"Babe, it's okay. It can't get us in here." Beck assures her.

"Whatever. I just can't believe this happened again." Jade huffs. Tori and I break apart to join the conversation.

"What do you mean?" Tori asks, breathless. Jade glowers darkly.

"I'm trapped somewhere with you freaks _again_!"

* * *

**Author's Notes: So, this is probably the first filler chapter of the story. I mean, something of importance still happens, but for the most part it's filler. I hope I still made it cute/fun. And I won't drag out the mountain lion situation in the next chapter. There will just be a short summary by Cat, so don't expect the next chapter to be filled with their antics in trying to escape the situation. I don't want _that_ much filler. **

**I seriously want to go camping though. I love me some great outdoors. If you review, I will take you reviews on a camping trip with me. It'll be fun. I've been told I roast marshmallows perfectly. And then you will get cybermallows. But if you hate marshmallows, I suppose I can roast anything you want over the campfire... By the way, when Jade blew on the fire and it went up in flames instantly, that happened to me once. It was unexpected and probably one of my favourite moments ever. And also, like really, the cow thing. Who would... whatever.**

**Fun Fact: The VapoRub thing? Yeah, it's legitimate. Just before I wrote this chapter I was at a bonfire and somebody recommended it to me. At first I laughed in their face... but now I swear by it, and I had to write it in here. It works. Trust me. Don't believe me? Enjoy being a mosquito buffet.**


	24. Holidays

**Disclaimer: FJKASHKJHSAKFHAKSJFHKJHSDFKJASHFJKHFJAKSFHSKAJFH don't own Victorious. This has probably been my most creative disclaimer. Guys, I'm tired. Cut me some slack. **

* * *

In case you were wondering, we survived the camping trip. We called the park ranger's office and they immediately came by to pick up the mountain lion. Jade still wasn't happy, but I was just happy to make it to Christmas. Despite the Vegas being in the middle of a divorce, they decided to still celebrate Christmas since they had skipped Thanksgiving as a family – mom included. Although, Tori said the main reason they were still having Christmas was because Trina demanded presents. Tori wanted me there as support and also to owe me back for inviting her over for Thanksgiving, so of course I said yes when she invited me over on the 25th.

"Merry Christmas, Tori!" I smile at her when she opens the door.

"Merry Christmas, Cat." Tori smiles back. She looks tired and worn out. I hope her parents haven't been fighting all day. She eyes the dish in my hand. "Brought something?"

"Yep! My mom made it for your dinner… it's a casserole." I explain. My parents were understanding when I told them Tori wanted a friend over during the holidays when her family is going through a rough time. After all, my parents know what it's like to have tension in the family. I just wish I could tell them I was going over as her girlfriend, not just a friend. But Christmas doesn't seem like a good time to bring that up – then w_e _would have tension in the family. And then who would invite over who?

"Aw, that's sweet. I love your mom's cooking. Here, I'll take that from you." Tori offers, grabbing the dish from my arms. "Come on in." Tori says. I walk in from the cold and shut the door behind me. "Cat's here!"

Mr. Vega pokes his head down the stairs. "Merry Christmas, Cat. Nice of you to join us." He greets.

"She brought casserole!" Tori exclaims, holding it in the air as she walks it to the kitchen.

"Ah, _very _nice of you to join us." Mr. Vega grins. "What is it?"

"Cheese and broccoli." I giggle.

"And you are now invited to every single family event ever." Mr. Vega jokes, making me laugh.

"Not marshmallow salad?" Tori asks, walking back over to me.

"Maybe next time." I blush, remembering the last time I tasted marshmallow salad on her.

"Sounds delectable." Tori grins, taking me in her arms and giving me a deep kiss. We hear her dad clear his throat awkwardly.

"Right. Well. Um… I'll just…" Mr. Vega coughs. Tori pulls away from me, giving her dad a smirk.

"Relax, dad. We're done." Tori assures, letting go of me and walking back to the kitchen.

"Aw, we are?" I pout, following her to the kitchen.

"For now." Tori smirks, looking back at me over her shoulder. I grin in response.

"How incredibly sweet – in a suggestive kind of way. Can we focus on more important things than each other now and focus on what I'm wearing?" Trina huffs, walking down the stairs past her father and waggling her cleavage.

"Yes, Trina, we've all seen your Christmas present." Mr. Vega sighs.

"Cat hasn't." Trina states, bounding up to me. She thrusts her chest up to my face so I can see the sparkling thing around her neck. "Look. And I know it must be hard for you, but try to keep your eyes looking slightly a_bove _where they really want to look."

"Trina." Tori rolls her eyes.

"What? Cat looks at yours all the time."

"No I don't." I blush. It's only some of the time…

"Whatever. What do you think of my diamond studded, sterling silver necklace?" Trina asks.

"It's very… shiny." I remark.

"Isn't though?" Trina grins, satisfied and walks away to the living room couch. She pulls out her phone and begins taking some grimace-worthy selfies. I hear Tori sigh next to me.

"Extremely expensive gifts bought out of guilt." Tori mumbles quietly.

"What'd your mom get you?" I ask.

"A designer bag… I hate how much I love it." Tori mutters bitterly. "It's not like I'll ever use it."

"Why not?"

"Because she can't buy my forgiveness." Tori states, slamming down a can of cranberries roughly.

"Tori… it's Christmas." I sigh.

"So? I can't just… put everything behind me because of a holiday." Tori's hand shakes as she tries to use a can opener. The shaking causes the can opener to slip and it hits the table. Tori throws the opener down in a frustrated huff. She looks like she's about to cry.

"I understand." I say softly, wrapping my arms around her. "But still, it's Christmas. Try to enjoy yourself." I murmur. Tori rests her head against mine with a sigh.

"Need some help with the cranberries?" A voice asks. We turn to see her mom standing in the doorway of the door in the kitchen.

"No. I'm fine." Tori grumbles, grabbing the can opener and trying again. Her mom gives a sad look.

"Hi, Cat. It's good to see you again. Merry Christmas." She says to me.

"Merry Christmas Mrs…" I stop myself short, unsure what to call her. Tori stops and looks at me. Way to make things even more awkward, Valentine…

"Just call me Holly." Tori's mom – er – Holly, gives a small smile.

"How Christmasy." I comment, shifting awkwardly.

"I suppose it is." Holly chuckles. Tori takes my hand.

"Actually, can you take over preparing dinner for a bit?" Tori asks.

"Sure. Anything I can do to help." Holly says.

"Great. Thanks." Tori says plainly, pulling me past her.

"Wait, are you going into your room with Cat?" Holly asks.

"I'll leave the door open." Tori calls behind her. Mr. Vega looks awkwardly at us as we go up the stairs… or am I supposed to call him David, now?

Tori pulls me into her room. She lets out a sad huff as she sits on the edge of her bed, putting her face in her hands. Now I know why she looks so worn out. Her parents haven't been fighting – she's been fighting against her mom. I know how much energy that uses; holding that much resentment towards someone. Especially your own mother.

I crawl behind her on the bed, wrapping my warms around her waist and resting my head against her back. "I'm sorry." I say quietly.

"Maybe I shouldn't have invited you over. This must be so awkward for you." Tori groans.

"If this is where you need me, then I'm here." I state. Tori takes her hands from her face and rests them on my hands, clasped in front of her stomach.

"And I do. I need you." Tori sighs. She leans back into me and I slide my chin up onto her shoulder. I give her a tight squeeze.

"Maybe… you want to see the gift I got you now? Maybe that'll cheer you up?" I question. I feel her face muscles stretch from a smile.

"You got me something?" She asks.

"Mhm." I giggle, pulling back from her. I go to my bag, which I dropped at the door of her room once we got in. I pull out a blue, leather-bound book embroidered with _Tori Vega _in golden font written on the front. It's wrapped in a shiny red ribbon. I skip back over to her on the bed, holding it out. "Here."

"You got me a journal?" Tori says softly, her eyebrows pulled back showing her sentiment to the gesture.

"It's a special journal." I smile as she pulls the ribbon loose, letting the journal fall open. Tori gasps as she looks into it. "It's a song writing journal… small enough to carry around with you whenever inspiration may strike. The left page has music bars for notes… the right page has lines for lyrics." I explain. She flips to the first page where I left a small message on the back of the cover. I remember what I wrote:

_Tori! _

_This is a small gift to help you on the journey towards becoming the star I know you'll be._

_Hugs and Kisses, _

_Cat_

And then I drew some hearts and a polka-dotted giraffe. I bite my lip. "Do you like it?"

"It's perfect." Tori breathes, closing it gently. She looks at me, beaming. "Thank you so much." And she envelopes me in a tight hug, which I return.

"Maybe… you can carry it around in that designer bag." I suggest slowly.

"Maybe." Tori chuckles. When she pulls back, she gives me a kiss on my cheek and smiles. "You know what?"

"What?" I ask, curious.

"I got you something, too." Tori grins. I can't help the squeal that comes out of me. "Hold on, I'll get it." Tori laughs at my reaction. She moves to her dresser and I'm practically bouncing from anticipation. I wonder what she got me. I don't have to wonder too long before she comes back to me with a flat-ish, small navy box that's about the size of my hand.

"What is it?" I widen my eyes in wonder, taking the box from her.

"Open it and see." She grins. I do so, and inside I find a small cat figurine made out of several coloured crystals and a velvety material. It's attached to a short clip. I pull it out, admiring it with awe. "It's Swarovski crystals. I saw it and… I thought of you, and your bright personality. You can clip it on your clothes, in your hair… Wherever you want." Tori explains.

"Tori…" I breathe. "This must have been expensive."

"You're worth it." Tori insists. I pull out the small clip already in my hair and slip the new crystal cat clip in its place. I swing my head to the side.

"How do I look?" I ask.

"Beautiful. As usual." Tori smiles. I smile back, blushing. "Merry Christmas, Cat."

"Merry Christmas, Tori." I murmur, leaning in to capture her lips. I slink my arms around her neck and kiss all our worries away. After five months, her kisses still take my breath away, and make a swelling feeling in my stomach and heart. My hands slowly run down her back and loop around in the front, resting at the hem of her shirt. She gasps into me as my fingers meet her warm, smooth skin. My hands slowly slide up her stomach…

"Ehem." We hear a deep voice from the doorway. We pull away to look at an authoritative looking Mr. Vega. I look down, embarrassed.

"Dad…" Tori groans.

"Just making sure everything in here was staying… rated G…" He eyes us suspiciously. Trina pops on the other side of the doorway, making Tori groan again.

"C'mon, you ruined a moment." Trina huffs.

"This is why I like to keep my door closed." Tori grumbles. I catch myself in the mirror, and I see the light sparkling off my present from Tori. I take a moment to admire it, and Trina notices.

"Whoa, that's almost as shiny as my necklace! Where'd you get it?" Trina gawks. I giggle, smiling at Tori.

"From a very special person."

* * *

"Hey, I got you some hot chocolate." Tori says, sitting next to me on the roof of Hollywood Arts.

"Is it watery?" I ask, smiling and bunching my hands up in my sweater.

"Nope, it's actually pretty good. I tested it myself." Tori assures. I take the Styrofoam cup from her, blow on it gently and take a sip.

"Not as good as yours, but it's okay." I smile.

"I'll be sure to sneak in my own next time." Tori laughs. We're at a Hollywood Arts New Year's Eve party. The Kick-Back had been cancelled because of the earthquake, so the school made up for it by opening up on New Year's for a giant party. Tori was performing later, so the roof was all set up and we were the only ones up here. The rest of our friends were mingling below us, but I told Tori I wanted to be alone with her for a bit. She puts a warm arm around me. "What're you thinking about?"

"I guess I just wanted to reflect on the year…" I murmur. "So many things happened. Some amazing things. Some not so amazing things…"

"Yeah. It was quite the year." Tori sighs. She pauses for a moment before taking her arm away and pulling out her song-writing journal. She also pulls out a purple pen and touches her lips with it for a second, and then proceeds to hastily scribble some lyrics down. I watch her for a bit before nudging her gently.

"What'cha writing?" I ask. She smiles, touching the pen to her lips again and not looking away from the page.

"A song inspired by the night. It's about new beginnings and resolutions." Tori explains.

"Sounds like a good one." I giggle.

"I hope so… I need some more ideas, though. What's your New Year's resolution?" She asks. I bite my lip.

"I… didn't really think of one this year." I admit. Now Tori looks at me.

"Really? Why not?"

"Well… My resolution last year didn't work out very well." I explain.

"Oh. What was it?" She asks, curious. I give her a small smile.

"Promise not to get mad?" I request, touching her arm. She eyes me suspiciously.

"Sure…" Tori says slowly. I take a deep breath.

"My resolution last year was to get over you." I mutter. Her jaw drops in surprise.

"Wow." She gapes.

"Yeah." I smile. "Like I said… It didn't work out."

"And I'm really glad it didn't." Tori sighs.

"Me too." I grin. "I guess what I learned this year was to take things one day at a time… Focus on what you need for yourself in the present instead of making a promise once a year."

"And what's your concern right now?" Tori asks.

"Bringing in the new year with my beautiful girlfriend." I smile, making her blush. "What about you? What's your resolution?"

"My New Year's resolution or my 'right now' resolution?" Tori asks. I lean my chin on her shoulder, looking up at her.

"Both."

"Hmm… I guess, for right now, it'd be writing this song…" Tori ponders. "Not as romantic as yours, I know."

"That's okay." I giggle.

"And then for New Year's… I don't know. Before I was thinking of a way to take Hollywood Arts with me when I graduate." Tori jokes, making me laugh.

"Can I make a suggestion?" I ask, seriously. She leans her head against mine gently.

"And what's that?"

"For this year, at least the beginning, you could work on rebuilding your relationship with your mom." I suggest quietly. Tori is silent and still for a moment before pulling her head off mine. I slide my chin off her shoulder, worried that she's about to yell at me.

"I don't know if I can…" She mutters.

"I'm sorry, it's not really any of my business, but…" I trail off. She shakes her head.

"No, it's alright. I get why you'd say that." Tori sighs. "She's family, and such. And you're all about patching up family…" Tori lists off. I bite my lip, knowing she's missing part of my motive.

"So you'll try?" I ask.

"I… Like I said, I don't know if I can. She's family, yes. She's my mother. But she's also the woman who turned her back on her family. I can't just ignore that." Tori mumbles. The loud sound of counting from the crowd of students and teachers below us suddenly rises to our ears.

"_**59, 58, 57, 56…**_"

"But Tori, think about it." I explain, slowly. "I love my family, but I still haven't told them about us. I haven't told them about such a huge part of my life because I don't trust them to accept it. When you told your mom, at first she was skeptical, but then what?"

"_**45, 44, 43, 42…**_"

"She was very accepting, and now she loves that I'm with you." Tori sighs.

"Exactly." I state. "She's made some bad choices, yes, but I don't think she _really _ever planned on turning her back on the family she already made. There's still love there."

"_**31, 30, 29, 28…**_"

"I… I guess." Tori says quietly, before getting a bit emotional. "I do miss my mom."

"And she's waiting for you to let her be your mom again. I've seen it in her eyes." I state.

"You can't expect me to run straight into her arms like nothing happened. She r_eally _hurt me." Tori says.

"_**23, 22, 21, 20…**_"

"I don't expect you to." I shake my head. "I just want you to think about trying to make a fresh start. I've seen evil. Your mom isn't evil. She can be forgiven."

"It'll be hard."

"I know."

"_**12, 11, 10, 9…**_"

"I'll need help." Tori's lip trembles. I take her face in my hands.

"And I'll give you all the help you need." I assure her.

"I know you will."

"So, you'll work on it?" I ask. She nods slowly. I give her a big grin.

"_**3, 2, 1… HAPPY NEW YEAR!**_"

I press my lips to hers, bringing in the new year with a physical demonstration of how much I completely, overwhelmingly love her. I don't pull away until long after the cheers from below have died down and they are well into a third verse of a Hollywood Arts rendition of Auld Lang Syne. When I look at her, she seems dazed and happy, which makes me happy.

"Happy New Year, Tori." I breathe.

"Happy New Year… I think I just thought of what I want to write for the song." Tori chuckles. I giggle with her and lean back in for our second kiss of the new year.

* * *

The month of January ended up being extremely busy with final assignments leading up to the exams for the term. I couldn't see Tori that much other than at school because, well, we realized that our study dates didn't involve too much studying anymore. We were always way too hyperaware of each other. One time we literally had an impromptu staring contest for about half an hour – and neither of us lost. So I started studying with Beck and Jade instead, much to Jade's discomfort. Once I realized I was disrupting their own staring contests, Robbie became my study partner. It was nice, admittedly. We hadn't really connected for a while, and now that he's finally stopped making awkward advances (minus Rex) we've been able to build our friendship again.

But now it's February, which is one of my favourite months. Why is that? Of course, it's because of Valentine's Day. First of all, my last name is Valentine, so that's a plus for me already. When I was younger, I used to think the day was actually made for our family and that cupid was some sort of relative. My brother told me differently as I got older and before the accident, but I still like to think that sometimes. Second of all, and probably most importantly, I have someone to spend the day with. We decided to just try a subtle dinner at B.F. Wangs after Tori told me she'd never really tried the Bang Bang Noodles there before.

"You have no idea what it's like." Tori groans. "It's bad enough living in the same house as her, but now I have a class with her at school. And it's horrible. I love my sister but I really can't stand her." She complains. "These noodles are really good, by the way."

"I told you." I smile. "And a class with Trina can't be that bad… right?"

"It's a hip-hop rhythm class. This means she tries to rap. And then she twerks. She sent two kids to the nurse's office yesterday." Tori frowns. I wrinkle my nose.

"I can't imagine how she failed that the first time." I joke, poking at my Wang Wings.

"Ugh, that's the worst part. She's told me she's partnering with me for _everything_ as a favour to me. Instead, I'll bring her up to passing and she'll pull my GPA down." Tori huffs.

"So why don't you tell her no?" I question.

"Because…" Tori mumbles, twirling her noodles. "The sisterly part of me wants to see her succeed, even at the expense of my own grades."

"And that's why you're a good person." I beam. "So… how's the daughterly part of you doing? You know… with your mom…"

"Cat…" Tori sighs. I pout at her, making her give another sigh. "I'm still… warming up to the idea. I mean, she's officially moving out soon, so maybe it'll be easier once I'm not seeing her every day. I don't know."

"Have you been at least putting in an effort when you do see her?" I ask.

"Of course. I only snapped at her maybe… twice yesterday." Tori admits. I give her another pout. "What? I felt it important to criticize the fact that she was spending today with the man who tore apart our family."

"Tori…" I frown. She shakes her head.

"Sorry. Obviously I should be working a little harder I guess." Tori sighs. I smile sweetly at her in encouragement. She gives me a hard look. "What about _your_ daughterly part? Any thought of telling your parents about us yet?"

"I… uh…" I stammer. She looks at me with affection.

"I know you're scared, but you can't keep this hidden from them forever. I'm surprised they haven't found out from somebody already. We're not exactly… secretive in public." Tori lectures. "I mean, I've been meaning to tell you, but last week I ran into your parents with my dad at the grocery store."

"Oh yeah, my parents told me." I note. She nods.

"Yeah, and my dad and your parents started talking… and my dad was starting to allude to us as a couple." Tori recalls. My eyes widen. "So I panicked."

"Oh. My parents mentioned that as well. They said you seemed kind of spastic." I inform.

"Knocking down an entire pyramid of canned foods can get you that kind of reputation, yeah." Tori chuckles, running a hand through her hair. "It worked, though. Totally avoided the subject."

"And thank you for that. For looking out for me." I reach across the table and place my hand on hers.

"It's no problem. Well, it was for the people who had to pick up and restack every can… But it'll get exhausting for both of us eventually." Tori warns gently. I look down guiltily.

"I know. I'll find a way to tell them soon. I promise." I mutter before looking up at her sadly. "This isn't very fun Valentine's Day talk." I comment. She smiles at me.

"You're right. Sorry. What I meant to say was: your eyes absolutely sparkle under the light of B.F. Wangs." Tori grins. I giggle and blush.

"And your smile melts my heart." I comment back to her sweetly.

"Then that extra minute I spent brushing my teeth before coming here was worth it." Tori beams. I lick my upper lip slowly, ducking my head closer to her.

"That'll come in handy for later." I smirk. She looks away, flustered but smiling. Then her face drops as she looks past me.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." She mutters quickly in a hushed tone. I become immediately concerned.

"What? What's wrong?" I ask.

"Can't we have _one _dinner date that doesn't include something that will ruin the night?" Tori grumbles.

"Is it your mom and Gary?" I whisper.

"No. I wish." She says softly, suddenly looking concerned for me. Now I'm really curious. I start to turn. "No! You might catch their atten- chiz. They saw us. They're looking over."

"Tori, who is it?" I ask quietly. She bites her lip, eyes trained on my face.

"C'mon, look away, look away… Oh no." Her eyes go wide. "They're getting up… they're… they're walking over. _Shit_." She curses. Tori rarely full-out curses in front of me.

"_Who?_" I demand. Tori's face falls into a frown and a look of pity and worry as she looks at me.

"Cat… brace yourself."

"Wha-" I start, but I'm cut off by two figures coming up beside the table. I look at them and my mouth hangs open in shock.

Derek's parents.

"Hello. Fancy seeing you two here." Mrs. Merritt says through a small smile. Mr. Merritt merely nods, hands in his pockets. I just keep gaping, unable to say anything. These are the parents of the guy who violated me, took my innocence and caused lifetime trauma. And I'm the reason, along with Tori, that their son is now locked up in jail for the next ten years. What can I possibly say? Tori looks worriedly between us, also at a loss for words. After an uncomfortable amount of silence, Mrs. Merritt speaks again. "…So, what brings you here on a night like this?"

"Date." I choke out. I clear my throat, attempting to elaborate. "We're here on a date."

The two adults look at us and then each other. I notice Mr. Merritt's eyes narrow a bit. Mrs. Merritt turns back to us, a large smile on her face. "How nice. That's why we're here, too."

"Yes, normally we would have gone to a very high class place, but you know… legal bills can tend to drain money." Mr. Merritt says slowly. "A lot of good that it did." He grumbles. I slink back in my chair a bit. Tori looks like she's ready to breathe fire.

"Now, now, dear. Let's not talk about it like that." Mrs. Merritt says through a smile. "How have you been since… we last saw each other, Cat?"

"Still suffering from long term effects." I state dryly. Mrs. Merritt's smile twitches slightly.

"Of course, dear. I can only imagine." She says almost too sweetly.

"Why don't you tell her about our visits, dear?" Mr. Merritt suggests. Their visits?

"What a great idea! Yes. We've been visiting Derek at the penitentiary centre quite regularly." Mrs. Merritt explains. "We've talked to him…"

"I'm sorry, but this is hardly appropriate." Tori glowers. Mrs. Merritt's face drops.

"Please, just hear us out." She mutters.

"Derek feels a lot of remorse for what he's done. He says he wants to talk to you and apologize." Mr. Merritt states. I furrow my brow.

"There would be no point." I say, slowly. "I can move on from what happened, but I can't ever forgive him."

"But maybe if you just _talk _to him. Maybe he can convince you he's changed." Mrs. Merritt pleads.

"Even if he did, then what?" Tori interrogates. Mr. Merritt whips his head to her, eyes once again narrowed. Mrs. Merritt touches his arm.

"Then you can make an appeal… shorten the sentence." Mrs. Merritt requests.

"_Oh _**no**. You have absolutely no right to ask that of Cat." Tori argues. Something seems to snap in Mr. Merritt.

"We wouldn't have to make this small request if it weren't for you and your little convenient phone call." Mr. Merritt spits at Tori.

"And if it weren't for your son, it wouldn't have taken me months in order to be able to hold my girlfriend without her having flashbacks of your son assaulting her." Tori states calmly. Mr. Merritt starts to go red in the face.

"Please, Cat. You have to understand, he's our son. What he did was wrong, and it's getting harder to deny what he did. But I believe he really feels remorse, and with your help…" Mrs. Merritt begs.

"Besides, you were leading Derek on the entire time, considering your little lesbian relationship now. It's only fair that you owe him _some _leeway." Mr. Merritt scoffs, getting a "shh!" from his wife. Tori opens her mouth to protest again, but I stop her before she can.

"Tori. Hold on." I say. Tori claps her mouth shut and gives me a puzzled look. Mrs. Merritt looks at me hopefully.

"So, you'll give him a chance?" She asks. I dart my eyes between the parents of my attacker.

"No, I won't." I reply slowly. Mrs. Merritt starts to look desperate and begins to speak again, but I stop her too. "No, it's my turn to speak. Mr. and Mrs. Merritt, I understand where you're coming from. Believe me, I do. He's your child, and as his parents you'll obviously do anything to protect him. I get that. But you need to understand my side of things. How what he did affected me… how it still affects me. How it'll still affect me in the future. I'm sorry, but even if it's true that he feels complete remorse for what he did – If I had complete, undeniable proof that he's sorry and he'll never do it again – He still deserves to pay the price for what he did to me. To me, and all the other girls' hearts he played with. But I spent a month and a half with him lying to me before he did the unthinkable to me, so I can't even believe anything he says anyway. So, I kindly ask that you accept my response and then remove yourself from my Valentine's date. We were trying to be cute and flirty." I finish. The parents gawk at me while Tori beams at me proudly, a tear in her eye.

"Very well. If that's your final word." Mr. Merritt mumbles. "Come on, dear. We won't get any help from them."

As they start to walk away, Mrs. Merritt turns to our table one last time.

"You know, Cat. When Derek introduced you to us, I really liked you. I thought you were a good soul, someone who could be good for my little boy. And I know you might find this hard to believe, but I think he really liked you too, deep down. He just couldn't show it the way he wanted to. And I know that good soul is still somewhere in you." She says, voice shaking. She turns to leave the restaurant as her husband throws some money on their table before following her out. I look down, my eyes dark.

"Cat." I hear Tori say softly. I'm trembling, and I feel how heavy my breathing is. "_Cat_." She repeats a little more firmly. My eyes slowly trail up to meet hers, my mouth slightly hanging open as small, deep breathes rush past my lips. She looks at me with concern and attentiveness. "You don't owe them anything."

"I know." I mutter, barely moving my mouth. My hands are clenched on the seat either side of me.

"Are you okay?" She asks softly. I look down again, and I barely see Tori reach out to me. "Stay with me, Cat."

"Can we go?" I whisper. There's a pause before Tori is calling for the cheque. Not long after, we're in her car heading back to our houses. She poses her question again, slightly remixed.

"Are you _going _to be okay?" Tori asks.

"Mhm." I smile at her. "It was just a lot, you know?"

"Are you going to faint?" Tori asks, uneasily.

"Not today." I let out a small chuckle. She breathes a sigh of relief.

"I can't believe them. The nerve…" Tori grumbles.

"I know… uncalled for." I agree. She starts to head off in the direction of my house. "Actually, Tori…"

"Hmm?"

"Could I… stay over tonight? With you?" I ask shyly. She glances over with a small smile.

"I'm sure I can sneak you in." Tori assures me. I smile at her gratefully. It's slightly selfish, but I'm pretty sure I'll have a restless night tonight due to the run in with Derek's parents, and I just want to wake up with Tori's arms around me.

I call my parents letting them know, and they agree that it's fine… something that wouldn't be okay with them if they knew the true nature of my relationship with Tori. Again, another concern to deal with eventually. We get to Tori's house and she motions me to be quiet as she opens the front door. She pokes her head in and glances around. Once she sees the coast is clear, she beckons me in. We tip-toe through the living room and up the stairs. Just when we think we're home-free, Trina appears in the bathroom door, a tooth brush hanging from her mouth. We freeze.

"If you don't tell mom and dad that she's staying the night, I'll do all of our hip-hop rhythm assignments. Even your parts, and give you credit." Tori whispers. Trina gives a smirk.

"My, you must be really serious about her. Alright then. Have fun, you two." She winks. Tori blushes and quickly pulls me into her room, shutting and locking the door behind her. She leans against it, letting out a sigh.

"Well, that solves my hip-hop class problem." Tori breathes. I muffle a giggle into the palm of my hand. "I have pyjamas you can borrow…" Tori says, ruffling through her dresser. She pulls out a top and bottoms and hands them to me. I hold them as she looks at me.

"Tori…" I muffle another giggle. "You have to look away while I put them on."

Her eyes widen and she quickly turns to face the other direction. "Right. Sorry."

"Try not to peak." I chuckle, throwing off my blouse and jeans.

"I'll try." She mumbles. I watch her hands twitch a bit, which makes me grin. I wonder what she's imagining behind her. I pull on the top and bottoms, and then I go wrap my arms around her waist, pushing up against her.

"All done." I murmur. She slowly turns around in my arms, a flush still present on her face. "Your turn."

"Same rules apply for you." Tori says with mock authority. I bite my smile and nod before crawling onto her bed and lie facing away from her. I can hear the sound of her dresser drawers again, and then the sounds of fabric ruffling and slipping off the skin. Oh. This is why Tori was so twitchy. The temptation to peak is harder to fight than I thought it'd be. I feel a flush creep up on my own face as I bury my head into the pillow. Eventually I feel the bed dip beside me and a hand lightly touching my arm. "It's safe to come up for air now." I hear Tori chuckle. I poke my head up to see her fully clothed in some PJ's. She's grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh, shut up." I grumble with a smile on my face. I snuggle up to her, the breath from her soft laugh tickling my ear.

"You handled yourself very well today, with his parents." Tori says seriously.

"Thank you." I sigh.

"I told you you were strong." Tori states. "It's like you don't even need me around anymore."

I lift my head up to equal height beside her on the pillow, pressing my forehead against hers. "I'll always need you, Tori."

"Then I'll always be here." She smiles. She lifts a hand to touch my cheek, her eyes searching. "Cat…" She murmurs. Her lips press together before pursing them, her mouth popping open with a light smack. "I lo-" Her words are cut short and her face twists into puzzlement and slight frustration. I furrow my brow.

"You what, Tor?" I ask softly. It sounded like she was about to tell me she loves me…

She shakes her head, a sigh escaping her lips. "I'm just so proud of how far you've come. I have no doubt you'll keep getting better."

"Oh. Thanks, sweetheart." I smile, but I'm slightly disappointed. Not today.

"Why do you call me that sometimes?" She asks. I raise my shoulders in a shrug.

"Because you're sweet, and you have a big heart." I explain, pushing my hand against her chest which makes her breath hitch. "I can feel it."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Cat Valentine." Tori smiles before scooping me into a long kiss that we wouldn't break until much later in the night.

* * *

"Okay, according to the Burkean Pentad, what does "act" stand for in dramatism?" Robbie asks me, looking in his notebook.

"Easy. Act, so… the action in a play, or what happens." I answer. He nods and I smile before looking in my own notebook. "What's the 'agent'?" I quiz back.

"The characters are considered the agents of the play… or who is in the play." Robbie says slowly.

"Did you cheat?" I giggle.

"No! You saw." Robbie scoffs, offended.

"I know, I'm kidding. You were right, though." I say.

"Good." Robbie grins and then looks back down at his notebook. "Your turn… what is the 'agency'?"

"Shoot… I'm bad at this one." I furrow my brow. "Um… it's kind of like… how things happen in a play…"

"And?"

"And…" I bite my lip.

"Need a hint?" He asks.

"No, I got it…" I take a moment to collect my jumbled thoughts. "And it… deals with the pragmatics of the play. So if there's ghosts in the play, for example, that agency. Right?"

"…Yep! That's right!" Robbie confirms. I let out a breath.

"Yay! I remembered!" I grin.

"We're going to ace this test." Robbie nods. "Okay, let's work on our Commedia dell'arte assignment for Sikowitz." He suggests, pulling out his mask. I'm glad I got paired with Robbie for this. With his mannerisms, he makes a great Arlecchino.

"Good idea. What's our scene, again?" I ask, searching my bag for my mask.

"We're trying to figure out a way to prank Pantelone, but all our pranks backfire on us." Robbie reads off the paper Sikowitz gave us.

"Oh, right." I start giggling at the idea. But then I realize my mask is nowhere to be found. "Uh oh."

"What?"

"I think I forgot my Columbina mask in my locker." I admit.

"No problem. I can hold down the fort while you go get it." Robbie assures me.

"Thanks. I'll be back soon." I say before exiting the library. I start heading through the hallways towards my locker when I hear a familiar voices coming from around the corner.

"Wow, that's huge! Congratulations!" Andre's voice says.

"Yeah, I guess…" Tori trails off.

"…But you don't seem too ecstatic about it." Andre notes. It's Tori and Andre, and Tori seems upset… I should go check it out.

"No, I am. I think. I just… there's a problem…" I can picture Tori biting her lip. I'm about to reach the corner, when I hear Andre reply.

"What kind of problem? Are you sure you're in love with her?"

And that stops me in my tracks before I turn, mouth hanging open in shock. What? **What**?

"Oh believe me, I am." Tori affirms. She's in love…

"How can you be so sure?" Andre goads. Wait, she is talking about me, right?

"Because, we talked about love… about how it takes work from both ends. And I knew I wanted to work for her, but something clicked for me when we were camping. It made it so _obvious_. I know I'll work for her, but it's like… it's not work. It's easy. And natural. Enjoyable effort. That's when I knew… I love Cat." Tori explains. Yep. That's me. That's my name, after the words "I love". _Oh my god Tori loves me._

"Well that's great. So tell Cat you love her." Andre urges.

"That's my problem. As easy as it is _to _love her… It's hard to tell her. Believe me, I've tried. I tried on Valentine's Day, and a few times after that, but I just can't…" Tori sighs. I give a frown, eyes shifting as I cross my arms.

"So what's the problem?" Andre inquires.

"I… don't know. It's frustrating." Tori huffs.

"Maybe you're just scared. It's a big thing to admit. Do you think she loves you back?" Andre ponders. Yes, yes I do.

"I have no idea. Maybe I'm scared… Like, what if I tell her and she tells me she doesn't… I wouldn't know what to do. Plus, I'm still all freaked out about that deal with my parents… But I want to tell her. I need to do this. " Tori sighs. I frown. I shouldn't be hearing any of this. I quickly turn and quietly walk back to the library, leaving their conversation behind. When I get back to the library, I sit down in my chair across from Robbie in a slump, straight-faced. He looks at me pointedly.

"Did you get the mask?" He asks.

"Oh yeah. That's what I was supposed to do." I mumble.

"So I'm guessing that's a no." Robbie gives me a suspicious look. I say nothing. "You seem like you had a very rough trip to your locker."

"Tori loves me." I state. He blinks at me and Rex lets out a whistle, receiving a shush from Robbie.

"That's a good thing, right?" Robbie asks slowly.

"Yes. It's an amazing thing…" I sigh. "But she can't tell me. She says she's scared."

"I guess that's understandable. Wait, then how do you know this if she can't tell you?" Robbie inquires.

"I… overheard her talking to Andre about it." I admit quietly.

"Oh-ho! Looks like we have a rebel on our hands! A real _bad girl_." Rex quips.

"Rex! I told you, no comments from you while I'm studying with Cat or no more bubble baths!" Robbie warns. Rex lets out a couple grumbles. "So what are you going to do?"

"I feel fine with telling her, but I want her to get over her fear on her own. It seemed important to her." I mumble.

"There's no reason you can't give her a little encouragement." Robbie rationalizes.

"I guess… but how can I get her to tell me she loves me without actually telling her I love her first?" I ponder.

"She's never said it before to you?" Robbie asks.

"I guess, back when we were friends, but those words mean so much more now… wait. Yes, yes she has told me she loves me since we've been together." My eyes widen. "But, it was in a song." I remember her singing You're The Reason to me.

"So sing her a song about it. It's indirectly saying it, and it might give her the confidence boost she needs." Robbie states.

"Robbie you're a genius!" I exclaim, leaping across the table to give him a hug.

"I- I wouldn't go that far." He stammers. "Isn't this uncomfortable for you?" Robbie asks in reference to the hug. I jump back from him, shaking.

"Yes I'm completely freaked out and I'm having flashbacks but I don't even care right now because Tori loves me and I need to find a way to sing to her that I feel the same way!" I exclaim, taking a deep breath to calm down my anxiety. Once I feel a little better, I grab my bag. "We'll work on our scene a bit later, okay? Thanks again, Robbie."

"N-no problem." He flushes. Rex waggles his eyebrows.

* * *

"Haha, yeah, I got some musical skills. But I heard I have some skills when it comes to taking a girl out to dinner and a mov-whoa!" Andre's flirting is cut off by me pulling him away by the arm. "Man, Cat! Couldn't you see I was putting the moves on for a bodacious lady? I can't stay single forever, you know."

"Sorry, Andre. But this is important." I breathe, darting my eyes around quickly. His face softens.

"Alright, Lil Red. What's up?"

"Is Tori around?" I ask.

"Nah, she went to go talk to one of her teachers. Why?" Andre questions.

"I need you to help me write a song." I request. He claps his hands together.

"Now you're talking. What kind of song?" Andre asks. I bite my lip, trying not to smile.

"A love song."

* * *

**Author's Notes: SO MUCH LOVE IS IN THERE AIR, YOU GUYS. I hope you feel it. I'm excited to release the next chapter to you - it's a good'un. And yes, singing a song to someone about how much you love them is cliche but it's one of my favourite cliches! As if you don't swoon when someone you love sings to you... especially if it's Cat Valentine/Ariana Grande's voice. I mean, c'mon. **

**Anyhoodle. I think I remember these Author's Notes being way more professional in the beginning. Whatever. I'm just getting more comfortable with you guys. Did you know I reply to reviews? I don't think I've mentioned that. I do. Everyone who reviews is an awesome, individual person to me and they deserve to know just how much I appreciate their reading of my story! Sometimes it gets mushy. Let's be mushy. I can't reply to guests unfortunately but hey, what can you do? And I'm tired. I almost slept through the posting time but I forced myself to get up and edit this. And I'm going to force myself to stay up a few more hours to write more because I want to post on Tuesday morning as per the scheduled time... I can't wait to edit that chapter. **

**Fun Fact: The little cat clip Tori got for Cat is based off a Swarovski crystal bear key chain that Ariana got Jennette McCurdy in reality. I thought it was a cute gift idea. And now I want one, too. Someone buy me one. **


	25. The Way I Love You

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, or The Way feat. Mac Miller by Ariana Grande... YES. YES I'M GOING THERE. I mean it's so easy. It's already Cat's voice... P.S. I changed some lyrics to fit the story a little bit don't hate me. **

* * *

"Don't answer the door if you don't know the person."

"I know, mom."

"And no boys over while we're gone."

"Of course not, dad."

"We'll call you as soon as we get there."

"Okay." I say.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" My dad asks.

"Your brother will be sad to not see you there." My mom agrees.

"I can't. I have to stay here for the performance at school. Tell him I miss him, though?" I request.

"Absolutely, dear." My mom smiles, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to call." My dad states. I give a nod.

"And good luck with your performance tonight. I'm sure you'll do great." My mom assures as she opens the door.

"Thanks! Bye! Have a safe trip!" I call out as they leave through the front door.

"We love you!" My mom calls from behind her.

"Love you too!" I call after her. I close the door. Alone for the weekend while my parents visit my brother. Usually I'd be sure to go, but we have a March talent show which I thought would be the perfect opportunity to sing my song for Tori. I asked Jade about it, and she said singing to her in front of other people might make it less intimate so it won't freak her out or put her under too much pressure, but she'll still get the message. I'm surprised Jade cared about Tori's feelings that much. Soon they will be friends. Soon.

My phone buzzes and I pick it up to check it. It's Andre.

_Hey Lil Red! You ready? I'm coming to pick you up for sound check! _It reads.

_Yep! I'm ready/kind of nervous. _I reply

_Don't be! The song is a jam! Be there in ten._

I remember writing the song with Andre. It took two weeks until I was happy with it. I told Tori I was writing a song with him for the talent show, but I wouldn't say anything other than that. Poor girl. Now that I know her feelings, I've noticed her trying to tell me, but she'd always falter last second. I feel horrible knowing her struggle and being unable to fix it, but maybe tonight I can change everything. I'm going to tell her exactly the way she makes me feel, without really telling her.

The song is great, honestly. I'm really happy with it. It's… different, for me. But a good different. It was hard going in to the song writing process without a real plan other than what I wanted to convey. Luckily, Andre is a genius.

"So, what are we working with here?" He asked, sitting at his piano in his apartment.

"Well, like I said, I want it to be love song…" I explained, slowly. "But not exactly cheesy, bubble-gum love either."

"Really? Huh. Then what were you thinking of?" He questioned.

"Something more… flirty. And… sexy?" I requested awkwardly.

"Whoa. Are you sure you're Cat Valentine?" Andre chuckled.

"_Yes_. I just want to do something different, you know?" I explained. I wanted the song to be serious because I wanted Tori to know I was being serious.

"I guess that makes sense. What about the sound? I'm guessing a bit more mature?" Andre pondered.

"Yea please." I smiled.

"Alright, we'll give Hollywood Arts something to talk about." Andre grinned. I guessed he was glad for a musical challenge and for someone willing to step out of their comfort zone. We played around with sounds for a while and I worked on lyrics. I remember a week in, I gave him a sample of some lyrics and he seemed pretty surprised at how… risqué they sounded.

"Cat… are you writing this song for someone?" He asked cautiously.

"No." I said too quickly. "I mean, no one in particular. Just thought it'd be fun."

"Right… well, I won't tell Tori. Your secret's safe with me." He grinned at me. I grinned back.

And now it's ready. Andre took me to Hollywood Arts and as we entered the venue, Tori ran into us.

"Hey Tori!" I smile sweetly, giving her a kiss.

"Hi girlie." She wraps her arms around me in a hug.

"How did your sound check go?" I ask.

"Great. I think it'll go well." Tori smiles. She looks between me and Andre. "You guys about to do yours?"

"Sure are." Andre answers.

"Ah, wonderful! I'll finally get to hear this song you two have been so secretive about!" She exclaims. I freeze. I forgot that she'd be here for the sound check, but I really wanted her to hear it for the first time during the performance.

"Uh, yeah, I… Uh…" I stumble. On cue (of course), Jade pops out of nowhere.

"Hey, Vega, I need your help with something." Jade drawls nonchalantly. Tori raises her eyebrow.

"With what?" Tori asks suspiciously.

"Oh, you know… Family troubles, Beck troubles, self-esteem issues… Anything that your meddlesomely compassionate heart can't bare not to help with. Come on, now." Jade sighs, grabbing Tori's arms.

"But, I wanted to hear Cat's sound check…" Tori whines.

"Yeah I don't really care." Jade states pulling Tori away.

"Uh… o-okay. See you guys later." Tori huffs incredulously. Jade looks over her shoulder and mouths "You owe me". I smile gratefully in response.

The sound check went without a hitch, and I couldn't stop giggling at the shocked looks from some of the crew members after I sang it. It just makes me look forward to singing it tonight.

* * *

"You did amazing, Tori." I exclaim, giving her a hug.

"Thanks, Cat." She smiles, still breathless from her performance. Tori turns her head to leave a kiss on the side of my head before pulling away from my embrace. "You're next, right?"

"Yep." I shift slightly, blushing.

"Well I'll be right back stage cheering you on." She smiles. My eyes go wide.

"Actually, Tori." I say quickly, taking her hands. "I was wondering if you could be in the audience. I… want to see you." I request shyly.

"Yeah, I can do that. Pick me out. Good luck, hun." Tori gives my hands a squeeze. I let out a bated breath and kiss her on the cheek as the M.C. announces mine and Andre's name. Tori quickly runs off and I turn to face Andre.

"You ready, girl?" He waggles his eyebrows.

"Couldn't be more ready." I nod. But I'm shaking. We go out on stage and I look out at the audience. I wave and smile cheerfully as they applaud. Standing in front of the microphone, my eyes graze across the many faces looking up at me. Where is she? Where… There she is! Tori's pushing through the crowd and comes to a standstill not too far from the front of the stage. She beams at me. I glance at Andre, and he nods, starting up the first chord on his keyboard.

"What we gotta do right here is go back, back to the top." Andre starts. I take a deep breath, locking eyes with Tori. Here we go.

"_I love the way you make me feel  
I love it, I love it  
I love the way you make me feel  
I love it, I love it_"

I turn away as Andre starts his part, snapping along with the beat at my side. Before I turned, I had noticed Tori's face dropping in awe.

"_Say, I'm thinking 'bout her every second, every hour  
Do my singing in the shower  
Picking petals off of flowers like  
Do she love me, do she love me not?  
I ain't a player I just  
Player I just  
Player I just…_" Andre looks at me, giving my cue. I turn back to the audience, again locking eyes with Tori.

"_You give me that kind of, something  
Want it all the time, need it every day  
On a scale of one to ten I'm at a hundred  
Never get enough, I can't stay away_

_If you want it I got it, I got it every day_  
_You can get whatever you need from me_  
_Stay by your side, I'll never leave you_  
_And I ain't going nowhere 'cause you're a keeper_

_So don't you worry, baby, you got me_

_I got a girl yeah, I must admit it_  
_You got my heart, don't know how you did it_  
_And I don't care who sees it babe_  
_I don't wanna hide the way I feel when you're next to me_

_I love the way  
I love the way  
Baby, I love the way  
Ooh, I love the way  
The way I love you"_

Andre's a genius. He has tracked my vocals beforehand so that the hook would play in the background of the chorus. I am my own back-up singer. I don't have much time before I have to continue singing, but I notice Tori's face still filled with awe and wonder. I hope she's really listening to the words.

"_Oh, it's so crazy you get my heart jumping  
When you put your lips on mine  
And honey it's ain't a question, q-q-question  
'Cause girl I know just what you like_

_So If you need it I got it, I got it every day_  
_Be your lover, your friend, you'll find it all in me_  
_Stay by your side, I'll never leave you_  
_Say I ain't going nowhere 'cause you're a keeper_

_So don't you worry, baby, you got me_

_I got a girl yeah, I must admit it_  
_You got my heart, don't know how you did it_  
_And I don't care who sees it babe_  
_I don't wanna hide the way I feel when you're next to me_

_I love the way  
I love the way  
Baby, I love the way  
Ooh, I love the way  
The way I love you_"

And now comes the risqué part. Half of me really hopes Tori listens to this part, the other half of me doesn't. I mean… this is personal. I tear my eyes away from her again to dance with Andre as he begins his part again.

"_Make you feel so fine, make you feel so fine  
I hope you hit me on my celly when I sneak in your mind  
You're a princess to the public, but a freak when it's time  
Said your bed be feeling lonely  
So you're sleeping in mine.  
Come here and watch a movie with me,  
American Beauty or Bruce Almighty that's groovy  
Just come and move closer to me  
I got some feelings for ya  
I'm not gonna get bored of  
But baby you're an adventure  
So let me come and explore ya_"

I turn back to Tori. Her jaw has hit the floor, as well as everyone else's. I smile a large grin leading back into the song.

"_So don't you worry, baby you got me_

_I got a girl yeah, I must admit it_  
_You got my heart, don't know how you did it_  
_And I don't care who sees it babe_  
_I don't wanna hide the way I feel when you're next to me_

_I love the way_  
_I love the way_  
_Baby, I love the way_  
_Ooh, I love the way_"

I flex my throat as the song continues to play, taking a deep breath before releasing the whistle tones I had been practicing for the past few weeks. I don't know how I pull it off, but I think I do by the cheers that erupt from the crowd.

"_The way I love you_

_The way I love you, you  
Yeah, ooh_

_I love the way you make me feel  
I love it, I love it  
I love the way you make me feel  
I love it_

_The way I love you_"

My arm holding the microphone drops to my side as I smile, my breath coming out in deep gasps. The roar from the crowd is deafening. I catch Tori's eye and she has the biggest smile on her face as she cheers and applauds. But she's also crying. I hope they're good tears.

Andre steps in front of me, his hand raised. I quickly give him a high-five and jump excitedly off the stage. I think… I think it went well. And I hope it gave Tori what she needed.

"Hi Mariah." Beck says to me back stage. I tilt my head in confusion.

"Mariah?" I ask.

"He means as in Mariah Carey. You're like a mini, red-headed version of her." Jade compliments. I beam at them, blushing. "Nice line about sneaking into her bed and exploring her like an adventure…"

"Heh, thanks guys." I blush even more. "Think she'll like it?"

"She'll love it." Andre grins.

"And you." Jade smirks.

"I have to go talk to her." I state.

"It looks like she just went out into the hall." Beck notes.

"Thanks. Wish me luck!" I call out, running to the backstage door. I search the hallway before running into the front lobby. Why can I never find her easily… And then the bathroom door opens and she emerges, still sniffing from tears. "Tori!" She looks up, surprised, but then she smiles. "I was wondering where you went."

"Sorry, I had to clean myself up. Your song was very… moving." She smiles, coming up to me.

"I noticed." I smile shyly. "Did you like it?"

"Cat… it was _amazing_. I had no idea you could hit notes like that. It just… blew my mind." Tori breathes. I grin at her. "Did you… write that song with someone in mind?"

"Maybe." I smirk, swinging my shoulders back and forth. "You _may _have inspired some parts of the song."

"Oh really?" She grins, pulling me up against her.

"Mhm." I bite my smile. She steps back, taking my face in her hands.

"And you know what?" She says slowly.

"…What?" I question, looking at her with slight confusion. She takes a long breath, and she stares at me intensely.

"_I _love the way you make me feel." Tori breathes. She closes her eyes for moment gulping down another breath before looking back into my eyes with even more intensity. "And I love you." She admits. "God, that feels so good to finally say. I love you."

My jaw drops slightly. It worked. It actually worked. Tori loves me, and now she can tell me. She notices the look on my face and becomes concerned, but I quickly push up to her, and a smile breaks out on my face. "I love you too, Tori."

"You do? You do." She smiles, blushing. I nod rapidly, tears filling my eyes. She lets out a breath and I can almost sense all the tension lifting from her as she pulls my head in for a sweet kiss. It doesn't take long for the kiss to deepen, our lips curled up into smiles against each other. Her hands move from my face to tangle in my hair and my hands run up and down her back. With a sudden, uncontrollable force, I push up more into her until she's stumbling back to against the lockers. We're making-out against lockers, oh god…

"Oh god. Sorry." We hear a very shaky voice. We hesitantly pull apart to see a very red-faced Robbie and a slack-jawed Rex.

"Things are happening with parts of me that I can't control." Rex quips. Tori scowls, but she still looks a bit giddy.

"I… I'll just go now." Robbie flushes, hurrying down the hallway.

"Bye Robbie!" I giggle, wrapping my arms around Tori's neck. She's still leaning back against the lockers. I look up at her, eyelashes fluttering. "Want to come over to my house for a while?" I ask softly.

"Yeah. Let's go." She smiles, leaving a peck on my nose.

* * *

"Do you want any dinner? I'm sure I can heat something up that my mom left in the fridge." I offer, closing my front door behind me and Tori.

"Sure, that'd be great." Tori says. I smile at her and head to the kitchen, opening the fridge to look through the containers.

"There's Shepard's Pie." I announce.

"Sounds delicious." Tori smiles, leaning against the doorframe on the kitchen. I smile back at her, taking the container out and popping it in the microwave. I wonder how long I can bear to keep my hands off her right now…

I feel her arms wrap around my waist as I punch the numbers in on the microwave. "Cat…" She murmurs against my neck as she kisses it gently. I sigh, leaning back into her. After a few moments, I quickly turn around and press my lips to hers. Well, that didn't take long at all.

"Um…" I mutter between kisses after some time. "I think the-" Another kiss. "-dinner is-" And another. "done."

"Right…" Tori sighs, pressing her lips up to my temple and dragging them to the middle of my forehead, leaving a peck. I give her a small smile before gently pushing her off. How did my back get on the kitchen table? Am I ever glad that my parents aren't here…

"Small portion or large portion?" I ask, breathless.

"Medium." She grins, sitting at the table we had just been kissing on.

While we ate she asked me about the song, and complimented me again on my whistle tones and told me the song deserved to be number one on PearTunes. That made me giggle. She's so sweet.

"Hey, Cat…" Tori starts after finishing her plate, reaching across the table to touch my hand. "Sorry it took me so long… to tell you just how much you mean to me." She sighs.

"That's okay. I'm just relieved we're on the same level." I blush.

"Yeah." She smiles.

"I love you." I coo.

"I love you, too." She grins. I let out a laugh and quickly flit from my chair to place myself in her lap. Our lips attach almost immediately after a quick moment of staring into her gorgeous eyes. I feel that heat creeping up into my spine again. Tori bites softly down into my lower lip, making me moan softly. My hands run through her hair and I lean more into the kiss… "Whoa, chiz!" Tori gasps as the chair tips over.

"Ow…" I mutter after hitting the kitchen floor, my limbs slightly tangled with Tori. She winces but lets out a chuckle, pulling me up off the floor with her.

"You okay?" She asks, smiling and brushing my hair back.

"Mhm." I giggle. We start laughing uncontrollably, tears in our eyes. After we catch our breath, she cups my face again.

"Oh god, what'll we ever do with each other?" She breathes, grinning. I twist my mouth for a moment, pondering. Then I break into a smile.

"This." I mash my lips to hers again and she chuckles into my mouth. The lightheartedness soon fades as passion replaces it. We just can't enough of each other tonight… And I'm okay with that. In fact, everything in me is screaming for more.

I know what our next step together is. I've taken risk after risk with her, and all of them have led me to a deeper, intimate relationship with Tori. I can't deny that there's only one thing left for me to do with her, and the idea is scary. But it's also welcoming. I'd assume it'd be a scary notion for anyone, but… I want it to be her. We love each other, and I couldn't imagine sharing such a special moment with anybody else. By my choice.

"Tori?" I mumble against her lips.

"Mm?" She questions, not breaking the kiss. I break it for her, pulling back my head and looking at her with wide eyes - my face flushed and breathing heavy.

"I... I think I'm ready. To try, I mean." I breathe out. She pulls back a bit, looking at me squarely and cautiously.

"You mean..." She trails off. I can only nod. I feel a weird mix of nervousness and excitement. I'm anxious. She looks anxious, too. We stand there, staring and studying each other as thoughts about what my statement means for us flashes through our minds.

"Are... do you think you're ready?" I finally ask. I can see her swallow hard.

"Yeah. Yeah, I am. As long as you want this." Tori says slowly, still searching me.

"I do." I bite my lip, touching her waist gently. "I want this gift to be for you. For us." I say softly. She pauses a moment, her cheeks red.

"...Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay." Tori gives me a small smile. I smile back, still fueled by my anxiousness. Then my face falls.

"Um... Where do we start?" I ask, furrowing my brow.

"I have no idea." She grins, blushing.

"Maybe… my room?" I question, biting my lip.

"Sounds good to me." Tori nods. I shyly take her hand and lead her up the stairs into my room. I close and lock the door behind me – I don't know why, it's not like my parents will walk in on us. It just feels more intimate. Then I remember being locked in the room with Derek and bite my lip uneasily. I turn the lock back. Anything to make myself feel more comfortable right now. I turn around to see Tori shifting slightly.

"Now what?" I ask. She gives me a small, nervous smile before coming up to me and pulling me to her.

"Now… this…" She states, very gently kissing me. We keep the kiss sweet and gentle for a long time. It seems right, starting off innocent and slow. Eventually my hands run up her sides and that encourages her to deepen the kiss. We stumble back until we find the edge of my bed. Careful not to disconnect from each other, we lower ourselves to a sitting position. I nip at her gently and start leaving kisses along her jaw. It's a motion I've done a hundred times, but this time I know it leads to more. Everything we do from here on out will lead to more.

Tori nuzzles her head down to make her lips connect with my neck again. She nips and sucks softly, making me let out a couple of moans. My hands brush over her chest and she gasps into my pulse before running her kisses to my collarbone. My hands move down to rest on her thighs. I don't know how slow or fast to go, so I just rest them there. I know Tori is nervous too, and inexperienced. I definitely don't want to scare her. She seems to move up into my touch, though, causing my hands to slide further up along her thighs. She lets out another small gasp. So close, it makes my fingers twitch…

I feel her own fingers start to lightly drag down to my waist, and I shudder as they slink up into my shirt. Her hands are warm, and I feel the familiar tingling sensation left by wherever her fingers go over my bare skin. I let them wander a bit, my breath releasing in quiet sigh as my eyes flutter shut from a firm planting of kisses on the crook of my neck. Those might leave some marks. I feel her hands brush under the material of my bra, and I quickly remove my hands from her thighs to grab her arms. She pulls back immediately, worry creasing her face.

"S… Sor-" But I cut off her apology with a quick kiss. I pull back, smiling shyly. She furrows her brow at me as I slip my hands from her arms down to her hands and guide them to the hem of my shirt. I press my lips together and hesitate for a moment before tugging at her hands upwards. Her mouth forms a small "o" as she understands, and I give her a trusting look before raising my arms above my head. I can tell she's hesitating, so I give her a sweet smile.

"It's okay. Nothing you haven't seen before." I urge quietly.

"Yeah… I know." She swallows before swiftly pulling my shirt over my head and arms. Once it's off, she stops to stare, blindly yet gently placing my shirt on the bed beside us. Her eyes follow over the newly exposed skin, only a bra covering what she's only seen once before – in a flash. I take her hands again and place them against the ridges formed by the bottom of my ribcage. I give her a sweet smile, which she returns. When she looks back down, I notice her eyes linger particularly long over my breasts. I blush and giggle, my hands leaving hers to allow them to explore. I close my eyes, getting used to her touch as she feels across what she can now see. The warmth of her hands feels even better now in the cool air.

"See? Not that bad." I shudder.

"Not… not bad at all." Tori breathes. I pop my eyes open to see her eyes full of wonder as she runs her palms down my stomach. Her hands float up to my shoulders and she pulls her eyes away from my torso to look into mine. "You're so… intoxicating."

"Is that a good thing?" I ask.

"Mhm. Very good." Tori murmurs, leaning forward to leave a couple kisses on my collarbone again. She lets her mouth go down a bit further than usual and I gasp. She pulls away and cups my cheek. "How are you doing?"

"I'm f-fine." I shudder.

"Are you sure? Any flashbacks or anything?" She asks, concerned. I shake my head.

"It's all just you. I feel… comfortable. Nervous, but comfortable." I assure her.

"Okay." She nods. She unbuttons her blouse and I feel my breath hitch as she pulls it off, dropping it on my floor. I know I've seen her in a bathing suit before, so it's not like I haven't seen this much of her skin… but oh my god, that golden skin of hers, the way it slopes around her bone structure and hardened muscles, which I can see flex as she breathes. And then the slope of her chest… Oh. Intoxicating. I get it.

I reach out tentatively, and she quickly moves forward into my touch. I accidently cup her slightly and I retract my hand in embarrassment.

"Hey… it's fine." Tori assures me, a bit flushed. I smile shyly before moving my hands back to her waist and proceed to push myself against her. I look at her with heavy eyes for a moment as I take in the feel of our bare skin up against each other, and then I capture her lips in a passionate kiss. The feel of her bare skin is just making me hunger for her more, and the next thing I know I'm pushing her down onto the bed, kissing her while lying on top of her. I pull away to breathe for a moment before trailing my lips down her jaw, her neck, her collarbone, between her breasts… "Cat!" Tori gasps.

Just like how she reacted with me, I immediate pull back, propping myself above her and giving her a questioning look. She's smiling goofily, breath slightly uneven. She shuffles away for a moment, shooting me another shy smile as she pops the button on her jeans and wiggles them off. Now I'm gaping at her legs that lead up the thin material around her hips.

"You… are breathtaking." I barely breathe out, as if to prove my point. She smiles, curling up her legs under her as she puts her arms around my neck.

"Really? You think so?" Tori asks softly.

"Of course." I kiss the side of her mouth.

"That means a lot coming from you, Cat…" Tori sighs. "You're flawless."

"I am not…" I mutter against her neck.

"Yes you are-ahhh." She gasps at the feeling of my hands rubbing up her outer thighs, taking advantage of their exposure.

"What was that?" I ask, smiling as I kiss at her pulse point.

"You're… flawless." Tori shudders out. I pull away, grinning at her.

"You're sweet." I murmur, and then I stand up. "We'll see."

I unclasp my skirt and shuffle it off, leaving my leggings. I bite my lip as she watches. I really wish there was a graceful way to take off leggings. I bend over slowly, peeling them off until only my underwear and bra remain on my body. I stand still, letting Tori admire. She licks her lips slightly as her eyes trail up my body.

"Y-eah… Flawless." She stammers. I grin and crawl back onto my bed with her, pushing myself into her once again. I shudder at the feeling of our legs touching. Almost fully exposed to each other… I kiss her deeply and she moans softly. Simultaneously, we sidle up to the head of my bed and lie down together, heads on my pillows. We break apart slowly, nervousness creeping back into both of us.

"So…" I start.

"This is it. You can stop it at any time. You're in control." Tori states quietly.

"Same for you." I nod. "I… don't know how good I'll be…"

"Me neither." She smiles. "I guess we'll… figure it out together."

"Mhm." I bite my lip, my eyes trailing down her body again. She places a hand on my side.

"You lead." Tori says, just like when we kissed for the second time in the janitors closet. I give another nod and lean back in to kiss her gently. My hands start to run up and down every inch of her skin that I can reach. She gives a contented sigh into me, and I break free to lean over her to nibble on her ear lobe. Her next breath comes out shuddered.

I pull back, biting my lip and searching her. She looks flushed and happy, her eyes heavy as she watches me. I try to leave any inhibitions behind. She's ready for this. I begin to kiss around the upper part of her chest, and she gasps every time I get a bit lower. Finally I reach the base of where her smooth skin slopes up on her breast. I trail my lips up her skin, feeling and hearing her breath hitch.

"Cat…" She murmurs, but it's in a voice of encouragement. I smile slightly while a blush creeps into my face. My lips meet the material of her bra and I instead of skipping over it, I lightly drag my lips over the top of the material. I guess that was the right decision, because the sharp intake of breath this makes Tori have sounds beautiful. I can't help but feel a bit of a hardened bump through the bra before my lips finally meet her skin again. I start to leave kisses along the area of her diaphragm.

"How's this?" I mutter, trailing the soft kisses, giving her a little firmer and longer kiss if I feel a particularly soft spot.

"It's… oh…" Tori breathes, as I nip gently at an area around her rib cage before circling back around to circle kisses around her bellybutton. I can feel her quiver beneath me. "Wonderful." She finally shudders out. This makes me smile and I bring my lips to the edge of the thin material, just before a particularly sensitive and special area. I can't believe I'm the one she's going to allow to touch that area for the first time. Not yet, though. I want to, but I also want to go slow and cautiously. My lips linger just above her panty line. Another quiver.

As I trail my lips back up over the dip of her stomach and across her ribcage, my hand goes back to dragging my fingers up and down the outside of her thigh. Her breath catches and I feel her leg twitch slightly, especially when I gently tease her inner thigh. I notice this makes her twitch upward and she hisses as she turns into my touch. My lips drag over her breasts again and by the time my face reaches her level, I can tell she's almost overwhelmed with desire. Her breathing is heavy as she looks at me. I bite my smile before leaving a deep kiss on her lips. I slip my tongue into her mouth as she lets out a long moan that I think she was trying to suppress. She smells so sweet…

I push my torso against her in a fluid motion as our tongues massage each other. Our breasts push together and this causes us both to moan and she arches up into me. I take the opportunity to reach under her back and unhook the clasp on her bra. I pull back immediately, giving her a look of curiosity. My eyes dart for a moment looking into her dark yet bright irises. Her chest is heaving from being out of breath due to our kiss, and it just makes the slack material against her chest even more noticeable, it shifting with every intake of breath… My eyes search hers again.

"You ready?" I ask softly.

"Yeah… I do owe you a glance, after all." She smiles, and I let out a giggle. Then her voice drops to a barely audible whisper. "But you can do more than glance."

I gulp and flush at her words, nodding slightly. With slow, cautious movements, I cup her right breast where the loose padding is. She gasps and arches up again, and I pull her bra away. I lean back, my eyes trained on her chest. Her breasts are small but perky, proportionate to her body. Her nipples are raised and hard from the change in temperature.

"You're perfect." I mumble. Tori closes her eyes, head pushing back slightly into the pillow.

"Nobody's perfect." She sighs. I never knew she was so self-conscious, but I guess this is the first time she's ever been in such an intimate situation. I'll probably be the same way when our positions switch… which makes my heart race. I slowly move my hand to splay my palm against the side of her breast, and her eyes pop open once again as she inhales sharply.

"You're perfect for me." I coo.

"Cat…" She breathes.

"Tori…" I breathe back, my fingers gently caressing the soft mounds around her nipple, which seems to be begging for attention. My tongue flits to the corner of my lips as I flick my thumb over her nub.

"Oh god." Tori whimpers.

"Does that feel good?" I ask softly.

"Mm… mhm." Tori trembles out. I smile and continue to run my thumb over her sensitive peak. I throw my leg over her thigh and kneel above her, my knee so close to the acute angle in between where her legs meet. My other hand begins to give attention to her other breast, gently kneading her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. She lets out a moan and thrusts up, right into my thigh. I feel her press into me, and oh my god, it's moist… She's wet for me. I bite my lip and gently push my knee into her while my fingers still massage at her breasts.

"Oh god, Cat." Tori gasps, grinding up into my leg.

"This okay?" I murmur. Her mouth pops open and she nods as I move my leg up into her again. Then I shift my legs back a bit, moving from her. I can still feel the warm dampness left on my thigh. She gives me a look of almost disappointment. I smile at her and remove my hand from her right breast and cup her cheek. There's no way I can prop myself up on my knees alone while I continue to tease her left breast and do what I plan, so I take a deep breath and lower myself down onto her thigh.

The shock rips through me immediately, feeling her warmth against my soft spot again. I hiss and close my eyes, that familiar anxiety creeping in as my heart races. I'm overwhelmed with conflicting feelings of fear, vulnerability and arousal. I want her more and at the same time I want none of it. I know what I really want, though, despite my brain telling me there's danger. I gasp and shut my eyes tight, breathing deeply as I get used to the feeling. It's just like when I got used to the shocking cold of the water during camping.

"Are you okay?" Tori croaks out, still breathless from my intimate touches. I open my eyes and nod slowly, looking down at her. Trying to keep myself still, I stoop down to kiss her with my fingers getting back to tracing around her nipple. A tear escapes from my eye involuntarily, and I know it falls against Tori's cheek. "Cat." She gasps out from my lips. "Seriously, we can sto-"

"Shh…" I cut her off, forcefully pressing my lips to hers, running my tongue along her teeth. I try not to think about the prickling nervous feeling crawling up and down my spine. I feel her hands move to my waist, helping to hold me up a little. I'm grateful as I allow myself to hover above her thigh using Tori's arms as support. I let out a breath and begin to slide my hand from her cheek down her body, grazing slowly over her right nipple once again before falling right before the line of her underwear. My finger starts to make small circles as I move further down. I feel her gasp and her breathing quickens as she realizes what I'm aiming for. I disconnect our kiss for a moment to check in with her once again. Her eyes are closed, mouth hanging open with a shuddered breath. Her eyes open to look at me, and the look in her eyes was all the permission I needed. I press my lips to her again and slide my hand down to cup her. Wow, she is really wet…

She gives a gasp that makes me wonder how her lungs can even hold that much air. I bite her lip gently from her lips being parted to take in that extra air, and then I decide she needs her airways clear for what I'm about to do. I move my head to start sucking on her neck, and I put some pressure on my hand and push against her. I then start to rub her slowly and rhythmically. She moans my name, and I don't think I ever really understood what the word sexy meant until I heard that. She continues to moan as I push my palm up and down into her arousal. I feel her hands at my waist tremble, and then she thrusts upwards into me again. I gasp, but the anxiety is less intense this time. Still, I don't want anything to ruin this moment for Tori.

I shift my other leg over her thigh and kneel in between her legs, pushing them further apart gently. I finally remove my right hand from her breast and instead run my fingers down the side of her left thigh. I pull my hand that was pressed against her away for a moment. I look up at her and she's staring at me, her head weakly lifted from the pillow to look at me between her breasts. Her hand had wandered to tease her own sensitive peak and god, the sight gives me a pulsing sensation between my legs. I run a finger down across the wet spot on her underwear and she cries out, arching as a quiver rips through her entire body. I lick my lips slowly. These need to come off.

I place my hands on either side of the fabric and being to tug them down towards me. Tori leans up a bit to help, shifting her legs up and then kicking the no-longer restrictive article off. She leaves her legs bent and wide in front of me, looking at me with a blush. Her breath is ragged in anticipation. She's completely bare to me now. I can see everything, and all her natural beauty. God has to be some sort of artist. I couldn't even imagine such beauty, but here she is in front of me, completely trusting of me. And I can see how aroused she is. I don't want her to wait any more. I can't believe I'm about to do this.

I reach out for her tentatively, until my fingers reach her dampness. I run my fingers over the small bundle of sensitive nerves near the tip of her centre, and Tori immediately sucks in a breath that's followed by a moan. She seems to like it so I do it again, and again. She thrusts up more and continues to cry out until it's like her voice can't keep up anymore. I look at her face and it's twisted in pleasure, but only her breath is able to release in uneven paces anymore. I slide my fingers down until I reach her entrance. I really check in with her this time. This… this is everything. I need to be one hundred percent sure that she wants this. I won't let her be violated against her will like I was.

I look at her questioning, my head tilting slightly. She's looking at me with love, trust, and longing. She thrusts up into my hand.

"Cat… Please…" She moans. I nod and slip my finger into her. That gasp that rips from her when I do so… That look of pleasure on her face… It's like I just made her feel all the happiness in the world. I twist my finger around and she writhes, continuing to gasp and moan.

"How am I doing?" I whisper.

"A…" Tori moans again, taking a few quick breaths. "A-amazing." She finally breathes out. "Keep… K-keep going."

I smile and oblige, pumping my hand as I feel her muscles tighten around me. I can't help but feel that I could fit another finger, so I try… and I can, and Tori loves it. I can tell because she cries out my name in ecstasy. Her head pushes back into the pillow and all her muscles flex as I work at her, finding the spots in her that seem to really make her arch. Eventually her breath catches and she again looks as though she can't even vocalize anything. Her eyes shut tight, lips sucked into her mouth as she feels what I'm doing to her. Everything she's doing to react to my touch right now is incredible – the flexing, the arching, her legs twitching, the thrusting, the bouncing of her breasts from her heaving chest… Yeah, it's intoxicating.

Finally, she tries to speak, but it doesn't last long. "C-Cat, I feel-"

And then her muscles squeeze extremely tight around my fingers. Her back arches once more and her mouth pops open in a voiceless cry. She twitches lightly and begins to shake all across her body. Everything flexes and I push further into her one more time, then she falls apart. Her back flops against the bed, arms and legs sprawled out. I would have though I killed her if it wasn't for her heavy breathing. I pull out of her, my fingers slick. I give her a moment to catch her breath.

Her eyes are closed, but her mouth turns up into a smile. "So… that's what all… the fuss is about." Tori pants. I smile as she opens her eyes to look at me. She's simply glowing.

"Was I… did I make you feel good?" I ask hesitantly. She weakly props herself up on her elbows.

"I've never felt anything like that before. It was… incredible." Tori smiles. "Are you sure you've never done that before?"

I bite my smile, shaking my head. "First time."

"Then how did you… know how to make me feel that way?" Tori breathes.

"I just… touched you the way I would want to be touched. Plus side of us being both girls, I guess." I blush, giggling. She chuckles, pushing herself up and cupping my face with her hand.

"I want to make you feel the same way." Tori states softly. I shyly look down before slowly meeting her eyes.

"I want you to, too." I sigh. She licks her lips and then presses them together.

"I'll go slow. You let me know what you want, or if you want to stop." Tori says.

"I want everything, Tori." I mumble. She takes a deep inhale of breath at my words and then nods, pulling me down to beside her on the bed. She runs her hand along my arm and I close my eyes. She continues to run her hand all along my collarbone, up to my cheek, down my side, and lightly caresses my naval. I hear her let out a breath and I open my eyes slightly. She looks deep in concentration, like every motion is important. I shudder as her knuckles trail up my stomach, my abdomen twitching. "Don't be nervous." I whisper.

"I don't want to mess up." Tori sighs. I reach out to cup her cheek.

"I trust you, okay? I'm not scared of you. I _need _this, Tori." I assure her. She bites her lip and nods. I take her hand and slide it up, cupping my breast. My breath hitches at the warm pressure. "See? Not a problem." I breathe.

Tori's face is flushed, but her mouth twitches upward. "Okay." She agrees and then gently squeezes the soft flesh. My hand falls away from hers and I reach around my back to unclasp my bra. Tori freezes, staring at me. I bite my lip and pull my bra away, leaving my chest exposed to her. Her eyes widen as she takes me in, and I start to feel that self-consciousness creep in. Her eyes dart up to mine and I give a shy smile, and then her eyes dart back down. Her fingers slightly curve around me, but they're hesitant. I push up a bit closer to her, looking up at her with big, soft eyes.

"Go ahead." I urge gently. She swallows a breath and then runs her fingers over my nipple. The shock that enters me is intense – but it's not of fear. Oh, no. It felt good. I let out a shuddered gasp, pushing my chest into her more. This encourages her and she does it again. It's like a tingling warmth spreads through my chest, floods up into my head, and then drops right between my legs. How can something she's doing up here so greatly affect down there? "Mm… Tori…" I moan softly.

She allows her other hand to get in on the action with my other taut nipple, and the feeling of pleasure that sends shivers throughout my body doubles. I let out short gasps, feeling my hips twist and squeeze with every flick of my nipples.

"You're… you're all about taking risks, right?" Tori murmurs.

"Ye-yeah." I stammer, too consumed by pleasure to keep my thoughts perfectly straight. I can't even fully appreciate that joke right now.

"There's something I want to try…" Tori trails off. "What do you think?"

"I think…" I gasp, biting my lip. Anything she wants to do to me right now, she's welcome to. "…you should… go with your instinct." I tremble out. She nods, smiling slightly. She removes her fingers and I'm sad for a moment. I hadn't even noticed how much my hips pushed up to her. Tori gently turns me on my back, leaves a light kiss on my lips and then dips her head down from my view. And then I feel it. A damp warmth enveloping my sensitive, raised skin on my breasts. And then a gentle sucking. Oh my g-god, I thought the fingers felt good. "Ooh, T-Tori!" I moan out. Why didn't I do this to her?

Her hand lightly squeezes my other nipple and I feel her tongue swirling around the one her _mouth _is currently wrapped around. I… wow, I really can't think straight. She's just so… wow. My hips keep involuntarily grinding at the air and I can't help the whimpers of pleasure that escape my lips. I feel her lips pull away and she looks at me, smiling at my uneven breathing.

"Good choice?" She asks.

"Definitely." I breathe, smiling.

"Great." Tori smirks, dipping her head down again only to give the same oral treatment to the other breast. And I'm back to moaning, my head feeling heavy and clouded as her motions drive me up the wall. Literally, I feel like if she keeps going at this rate, my twitching legs will just slide me right up over my headboard and up the wall.

And then she puts her knee between my legs. She's careful not to touch any part of me, but I still do a sharp intake of breath. I want her so bad, but I don't know how I'll react once she touches me there, where I was attacked, violated and mutilated. It's Tori… she'll be loving, and tender. She's **not **Derek.

Pulling away from my breasts, she leaves soft kisses up my neck and leading up to my lips, capturing my mouth and moving against my lips softly. She nuzzles past my head and buries her face into my hair, taking a deep breath inward. "Cat…" She murmurs.

"Mhm?" I mumble, my voice quivering.

"I'm going to… move my leg against you a bit now, okay?" Tori warns. I suck in some air.

"Okay, Tori." I agree, turning my head to leave a light kiss by her ear. She slinks her arms under my back to cradle my shoulders holding me against her, bare chest to bare chest. I feel her still wetness on my thigh and it drives me crazy.

"I got you." Tori murmurs, squeezing me tight.

"I… I know." I tremble. And then as if her body were a gentle wave caressing the top of the ocean, she shifts up and I feel her leg push into me. Everything freezes and I can't breathe. I bite my lip, hard. My whole body starts to shake and I try to hold it in, but I can't. The flashbacks hit me. I jump back from her a bit, hitting my head against the back of my headboard. "Ow, ow, aww chiz." I hiss.

"Oh god, are you alright?" Tori asks with concern, moving her leg back so she's no longer against me. She hovers above me looking worried. I clutch the top of my head, wincing.

"Yeah… I didn't hit it that hard." I mutter.

"Okay, good…" Tori whispers, gently stroking over my hair line. "And… how's your anxiety?"

"Staggering every time you touch me there." I mumble. She gives me a pitying look.

"Maybe you're not ready for this yet." Tori sighs.

"No. I mean, no, I am ready. Believe me. Just… kiss me and try it again." I plead.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Please."

"Alright…" Tori agrees slowly. She tentatively presses her lips to mine, and I kiss her back earnestly. I slip my arms around her waist, fingers gently clawing up her back. I'm so focused on the kiss, on Tori, that when she pushes into me again… it's still terrifying. It's still hard to push back the uncomfortable, invasive flashbacks. But I can tolerate it. She stays still and careful, my lips trembling against hers.

Eventually the anxiety subsides a bit, and a new feeling similar to the one I had when she was teasing my breasts arises. Except, more. And I want even more. I gulp slightly and find myself push up against her, and a ripple of pleasure fills me again. But also a ripple of anxiety, like a barrier blocking me off from really experience this. It's frustrating.

But I know Tori will help me break it. We've gotten through so much. She helped pick me up when I was in my most broken state. She told me that my virginity was something nobody could take from me, and now I'm willingly giving it to her. She protected me from nightmares and even Derek himself during the trial. We kissed. We cuddled. And each time, it got easier. We held each other through a bleak situation like the earthquake. I returned the favour for everything when her world came crashing down due to her mother's affair. We leaned on each other, and opened the floodgates of passion slowly. We admitted our deep love for each other. And now? Now this is just another hurdle to overcome. My phobia of touch and intimacy _cannot _stop us. Nothing can.

She pushes slightly into me again, and the barrier breaks. The anxiety completely falls away, and my heart rate increases from the shock of pleasure that once again wracks my body. And it's **s****till **not enough of her. I grind up into her leg even firmer than before.

"T-or…" I moan. "More." I gasp against her lips. She pulls away, searching. My jaw hangs open as I push my head back, letting out another gasp as I shift my hips against her leg. Tori licks her lips and then rubs her knee up into me a few more times, working with my own light thrusts. Then she works her other leg up, her centre resting against my hip bone. She lets out a shudder of pleasure from my rocking hips. Biting her lip, and closing her eyes to collect herself for a moment, she slides my panty line down, lifting a bit to allow the fabric to pull right off my legs. I kick them off, just like Tori did. She pauses, looking my full body over.

"I can't believe it…" Tori breathes.

"What?" I pant out, slightly self-conscious. Is there something weird about it? Tori beams at me, slightly flushed.

"I just can't believe I get to have this moment with you… I'm… I'm so lucky." Tori says slowly, trying to find the right words. I smile at her and grind up a bit more, making her gasp.

"Touch me." I urge softly. "I'm all yours."

"And I'm yours." She mutters quietly. Tori takes her hand and touches my naval slightly, then drags her fingers down slowly. I shiver in response as her hand grazes all the way down to where I'm throbbing for her. And then she runs her fingers over… my… cli…

Holy crap.

Holy chiz.

Oh my god.

Wow.

Is this how I made her feel when I touched her like this? If I did, oh my goodness, good job me. She's driving me crazy as she flicks over it gently. I cry out and thrust up into her hand rhythmically, making the sensation come even more rapidly. My vision starts to blur and my thoughts are getting more and more hazy as my pleasure builds. I know she's enjoying the feel of my rocking hip bones against her too, because she can't stop moaning. I can feel her fingers are trembling, and that just makes it better.

Just when I think it can't get any more amazing, she takes her hand away and shifts herself up to _grind herself against me_. Oh god she feels good. I'm reaching a high point in my pleasure, and I know she is too by how fast our hips are moving to push the sensitive parts of flesh together.

And just when I think it can't get more amazing than _that_, she proves me wrong again. She stoops down once again to begin sucking on my nipple once again. I try to cry out, but I can't. I now understand why she couldn't make any sounds when I was working at her. I'm way too consumed by every other sensation.

The twitching. The writhing. The random hip bucking. The only sound that can come out of me is a very airy gasp. Something switches in my head, and suddenly I'm consumed with a… build. That's the best way to describe it. It builds like pressure, and just when it gets too intense, it releases. And god does this release feel amazing. Everything in me tenses like I'm using my muscles way more than they're supposed to be used as I ride out this wave of release. My eyes are shut tight, and I can feel everything in me weaken as my head clears a bit, the feeling passed but the memory of it lingering. I flop down on my bed, catching my breath. I notice Tori's flopped beside me, also heavily breathing and flushed. We both take a moment to collect ourselves, Tori slowly rolling on her side to look at me.

"Wow, Cat…" She sighs.

"Yeah, wow." I pant. "Can we do that again sometime?"

Tori lets out a breathy laugh and she rolls into me, lying on her stomach and slinging an arm over my stomach. "I'm so proud of you. And thank you… For sharing this with me." Tori murmurs.

"I wouldn't have shared it with anyone else. I don't think I could have shared it with anyone else." I say lazily. I feel exhausted. That took a lot of work.

"I know it's something I'll never regret." Tori leaves a kiss on my shoulder. Wow, once upon a time I didn't think I was able to kiss Tori without slapping her. I start laughing slightly. "What?" Tori smiles.

"I'm just remembering how I used to be afraid to kiss you and thought I'd never be able to." I chuckle.

"And now look at you." She grins. I turn on my side to face her.

"Look at us." I murmur, kissing her lightly on the lips. She gives a contended grin. Then her eyes flit to above my head, and her brow furrows a bit. She sits up a tiny bit.

"Hey, it's that picture you took from my room." Tori notes, looking at it framed on my night table. "I can't believe I just noticed."

"Yeah." I blush. "It helped me a lot during the first month or so of nightmares. It was comforting to look at that picture." I explain. "But nothing beats waking up next to the real thing."

"I love you." Tori sighs.

"I love you, too."

* * *

Mmm, yep. Waking up to the real thing is always better. The light from the morning is flitting into my room and cascading gently over her peacefully slumbering face. I think about kissing her nose or something, but I don't want to risk waking her up. She just looks so peaceful.

I slowly and cautiously get up out of my bed and head to my dresser. I throw on a simple blouse and jeans, pausing slightly to smile at the memory of last night. I look over at her sleeping form again. She's so amazing.

I carefully open the door and head down the stairs, opening the cupboards thoughtfully. Pancakes? Pancakes.

I start to mix the pre-prepared pancake batter together with water, and add my own dash of cinnamon and vanilla. I pour a couple circles of batter on a griddle and then grab some blueberries and strawberries from the fridge. I check my phone for the first time since last night and see a bunch of texts from people complimenting me on my performance at the talent show. I smile reading through them. Most are really nice. Some are a little inappropriate. I guess they liked the risqué lyrics. I find a text from Jade eventually.

_So? Did the song work? Are you and Vega in looove?_

I blush and giggle, flipping the pancakes before turning my phone to reply.

_Oh yeah, it worked :)_

I know I'll probably have to tell her about sleeping with Tori eventually, but for now I want to keep it between us. Actually, I should probably keep it from Jade for as long as possible. The looks and comments she'll give Tori once she knows… yikes.

"Something smells good." Tori yawns in the doorway of the kitchen. She's wearing what she was yesterday. I guess she didn't exactly bring a change of clothes… it's not like she expected to stay the night.

"Pancakes." I smile, bounding up to her. "Good morning, love." I coo, giving her a quick kiss before turning back to the griddle.

"Morning. You didn't have to make breakfast." She approaches me from behind, resting her chin on my shoulder.

"What else are we going to eat?" I giggle.

"I could help." Tori nuzzles me gently.

"Nah, it's okay. I got it. Just relax." I assure her, turning my head to kiss her on the cheek.

"If you insist." She yawns again, leaving my back to sit down at the kitchen table. Once the pancakes are done, I serve them with the berries poured over top. "It was probably a good thing I didn't help. I would've ruined these. They're perfect." Tori states, taking another fork full.

"I'm sure your pancakes are great, too." I grin.

"I'm really a strict hot chocolate only kind of person. I burn everything else." Tori jokes, making me giggle. She gestures over to the wall of my kitchen. "It looks like you have a message." Tori notes in reference to our landline phone.

"Oh, right." I quickly jump up to check the message.

"**Hi, Cat. How are you doing? I guess you're out with your friends or something. Anyway, I completely forgot. Can you go pick up my order from Bed, Bath and Yonder at some point tomorrow? It's important for when I get back. Just give my name. Thanks in advance. And call us when you get this! Love you, honey. Bye.**"

I don't remember hearing the phone at all last night… I guess I was way too preoccupied. I let out a sigh at my mom's request. I was kind of hoping to lounge around with Tori all day. "Do you mind if we go out for a while later?" I ask her.

"That's no problem. We can make a day of it. The warm weather is starting to come back… maybe we'll find you another cute dress that we'll break the law for you to try on." Tori smirks, resting on her elbows on the table and her cheeks on her fists. I giggle and blush at the memory. Spending the day out with Tori won't be so bad. We can always lounge later.

I called my parents and they seemed relieved to hear from me. I didn't mention Tori stayed the night, obviously… but I knew hanging up the phone that when they came back I would need to tell them. Tori is my everything, and she makes me happy. They have to accept that, right?

"Do you want me to be with you when you tell them?" Tori asks as we drive to her house to get her a change of clothes. I had told her of my decision to finally let them in on our relationship, no matter how much it scares me. I can't run from my own family forever, right?

"Maybe… it could get ugly, and I don't want to involve you in more than I have to." I sigh.

"Cat… we're in this together. You were there for me when I came out to my parents. I want to be there for you too, no matter how ugly it gets." Tori explains softly.

"What if they hate it? What if they hate me?" I ask, worried. I look over at her and she's pushing her lips together thoughtfully.

"We'll deal with that if it comes to it. If… if they tell you that you can't see me, then I'll fight for you. I can't give you up. Not now, not ever. I know your family is important to you, so we'll make them understand. Somehow. And maybe we're worrying over nothing? They might be okay with it. You _are_ their daughter." Tori reasons. I shift uncomfortably.

"I looked up some coming-out stories on the internet… some of them are really bad, Tori." I mumble.

"Were there some good ones, too?" She asks.

"Yes…"

"Then try not to worry about it. You don't know how they'll react. Just try not to think of it for now." Tori glances over with a sweet smile.

"Okay. I'll try." I sigh. She reaches over and takes my hand, squeezing it gently.

"We're here." Tori states, pulling into the drive way. We get out and go to the door, which Tori tries to open… but it's locked. "Ugh, I can't find my keys." Tori groans digging through her bag.

"That's no problem. Just knock." I suggest, reaching out to do it for her.

"No, Cat, wait!" Tori exclaims, but I've already rapped on the door a few times. The door swings open, revealing Trina behind it. She gives us a look up and down before leaning against the door frame with a smug look.

"Well, well, well…" Trina starts.

"Hi, Trina." Tori grumbles.

"Look what the 'Cat' dragged in." Trina smirks. I still don't know what that means. I wasn't dragging her.

"Just let us in. I need to grab a change of clothes." Tori mutters under her breath.

"Oh sure!" Trina exclaims, stepping aside for us to walk into the house. "I guess you two had some fun last night?"

"Shh!" Tori snaps. "Is dad home?"

"No. He's out on duty all day." Trina explains, and then her eyes go wide. "Wait, so you two _did-_"

"Oookay let's move on, please." Tori groans. Trina starts laughing manically.

"Well damn!" Trina laughs, and then looks me up and down with a wink and a click from the side of her mouth. I blush and shift uncomfortably.

"Don't be weird." Tori glares at Trina. Trina just continues to smirk.

"I've heard it's better between girls, which I can't understand because, like, how can it even work? Where do things go? We should really have a sex talk some time." Trina rambles. Tori and I get redder.

"Out of the many, many things I refuse to talk to you about, that is at the top of the list." Tori snaps as she pulls me up the stairs.

"Aw, come on. I'm just curious!" Trina whines. "Oh, and you don't have to worry about dad. I covered for you."

Tori stops halfway up the stairs to turn around toward her sister. "Really? Thanks, Trina. That means a l-"

"Yeah, I told him you were staying at Cat's house." Trina boasts. Tori's mouth pops open.

"_What_?! Trina, that's not covering for me at all!" Tori shouts.

"Relax. At least I didn't say something like you were doing drugs with the goth girl." Trina scoffs. "But he still got all red and flustered when I told him…"

"Oh my god!" Tori exclaims, quickly turning to head the rest of the way up the stairs with me.

"Hey, if you're going up there to do round two, can you try to keep it down? I'll be trying to meditate down here." Trina requests.

"_Oh my god!_" Tori repeats just as we reach her room.

"Yes! Exactly! That. Don't do that." Trina calls up before Tori slams the door behind us. She throws herself face first onto her bed, groaning into the mattress. "Like, why."

"That was funny." I giggle. Tori sits up to look at me.

"I'm glad you think so, because that was just awkward and embarrassing for me. I should stop having you around when Trina is near." Tori sighs. I giggle again as she pushes herself from the bed and starts grabbing different articles of clothes. I sit on her bed patiently, watching her. Once she finds what she wants to wear, she looks over at me. "Uh…"

"What?" I ask innocently.

"I… guess I have nothing to hide around you anymore… but I really wasn't planning on actually having 'round two' up here." Tori says slowly. I give her a smirk.

"I'll try to control myself." I say. She blushes a bit before she starts stripping down again. And she's just as beautiful as last night. Every curve and slope and edge of her. It makes my heart race. Round two wouldn't be all bad…

"You're smiling." Tori notes, pulling her shirt on, which is the last piece of clothing she had to replace.

"Am I?" I ask dreamily.

"Uh oh, what have I done to you?" Tori chuckles, walking over to cup my cheek. I place my hand on top of hers, leaning my face into her touch.

"You captured my heart." I sigh. She grins, leaning in to kiss me.

"Okay, you said you had to pick something up for your mom?" Tori asks breathlessly, eventually pulling away.

"Mhm." I smile sweetly.

"Alright, let's get going." Tori says. I stand up and follow her down the stairs. Trina is on the couch, legs folded and arms held up in a meditative position. She pops an eye open as we get to the front door.

"Well that was fast. Are you sure you're doing it right, sis?" Trina comments. Tori lets out a frustrated huff.

"Oh shut up."

* * *

"So why was it so important for your mom to have bath salts and bombs ready for when she came back?" Tori asks as we leave Bed, Bath and Yonder.

"Because, she needs the relaxation after visiting my brother. The visits can be a handful…" I giggle.

"So you've told me." Tori chuckles. "Where do you want to go for lunch?"

"Um…" I ponder, looking around. Then I see this cute little café on the corner with tiny patio tables and chairs outside. "How about there? I've passed it so many times but I've never actually been in it."

"Me neither. Let's check it out." Tori states.

"Yay!" I cheer. The café was actually really nice, with small sandwiches and homemade soup. Good atmosphere, too.

"Here, let me go pay." Tori says, standing up after we finish the lunch. I stand up quickly. This is an argument that I don't think we'll ever drop.

"Oh no you don't." I pout, standing in front of her.

"Hey, it's my turn to pay." Tori chuckles.

"I don't think so…" I say slowly.

"Yeah I don't know either. But it's my treat." Tori insists. I pout more but she ignores it, turning away to head inside to pay.

"Wait!" I stop her, grabbing her arm. She turns to look at me.

"Wha-mmff." Tori's question is cut off by my lips smashing against hers passionately. She relaxes into me and I smile a bit against her mouth. I can hear some disapproving mutters around us but hey, I have my reasons. One more thing to do. I slide my hand down her hip and across to stroke up her inner thigh… she shivers. Perfect. I detach myself and she falls forward a bit, still leaning into the kiss I'm no longer giving. I take advantage of her dazed state and run inside, paying for both our meals quickly. I walk back outside where Tori is still flushed but glaring. I beam at her. "You little minx."

"You get next pay, I promise." I grin.

"Yeah right." She rolls her eyes. "Here, I'll buy you something. Whatever you want."

"Maybe." I smirk. "Let's head to some boutiques."

"Sounds good to me." Tori smiles. We head out, hand in hand, looking up and down the streets for a store that interests us. We start to head off the main patch of street, and I see a vintage looking store down the street and across a bit. I point it out and we start walking towards it. But then, something strange happens. A hooded man walks in front of our path and stands there, crossing his arms. We stop, looking at him in confusion.

"Uh, can we help you?" Tori asks.

"Ha! You don't help anybody by existing." We hear from behind us. We turn to see two masked figures approaching us. I look back to the hooded man to see a woman with him as well and they're both pulling on masks. My blood runs cold.

They're all carrying metal rods.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Longest... chapter... ever. So some interesting things happened in this chapter. There was an awesome song reference, there was a love confession and a love reciprocation, there were pancakes, there was Trina, there was a bit of a cliffhanger... oh yeah, and sex. How'd that get there? This story is rated M after all. I hope you recognize my reason for putting that in. It was a huge step for Cat (and Tori), and I tried to write it as tastefully as possible. I hope I succeeded. **

**I can't believe how close this story is to being done... it's kind of mind boggling. Don't worry, there's still some things to cover if you couldn't tell by the end of the chapter! Or maybe tomorrow I'll wake up and decide to never finish. That would be incredibly cruel of me. Cross your fingers that I never wake up heartless! But really, I'm so happy with how this story has gone, and I'm even happier that all of you seem to be enjoying it. Like, can we group hug yet? Let's group hug. I'm waiting. Arms open. **

**Fun Fact: You'd think, you'd THINK I would have a fun fact for this chapter since it's so long, but I can't think of one. I can tell you it took me a long time to write, especially the sex scene... I was way too much of a perfectionist with it. So since my last celebrity mention, Avan Jogia favourited one of my tweets. One Victorious cast member at a time... I will soon conquer them all. YOU'RE NEXT, LIZ. **


	26. Hate

_**!This chapter includes graphic depictions of violence!**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious...**

* * *

"Tori…" I say nervously, looking at the aggressive group around us.

"Shh, it's okay. Stay close to me." Tori orders softly. I nod and edge closer to her. "What do you people want? Our money?" Tori asks them, holding out her purse. "Here, take it." She throws it down in front of one of them. They don't move.

"Ha. We don't want your money." One of them snarls.

"We're just here to… teach you a lesson." Another one adds.

"What are you talking about?" Tori glares. I can feel her trembling slightly. We're in a bad position.

"We saw you faggots kissing back at the café." One explains.

"We don't take too well to people of… your kind. We've made it our civic duty to make sure you don't pollute our air with your disgusting disease." One growls.

"So what are you going to do? What, do you plan to beat it out of us?" Tori snaps.

"That's the plan." One steps closer, beating the metal rod to his hands. Tori tenses.

"That… that won't do anything. That's not how it works." Tori tries to reason.

"Then I guess you're better off dead." Another one steps closer. I start to whimper.

"We haven't done anything to hurt you." I beg. "Just leave us alone. Please."

"Ha! You hear that? This little lesbian thinks the faggots haven't done anything to hurt us." One quips. Then another one bounds forward, grabbing me from behind and yanking me away from Tori.

"Tori!" I scream.

"Let her go!" Tori demands frantically. She tries to dart to me but another two grab her by the arms, holding her back.

"Help!" I shout. The woman in the group with a mask steps in front of me.

"No one is going to help you. You're the scum of the earth." She drawls.

"Look who's talking-oof!" Tori starts to growl, but one of the guys holding her back elbows her in the stomach. Tori doubles over, coughing.

"Don't hurt her!" I cry.

"Honey, the last thing you should be worrying about is your little girlfriend." The woman sneers, yanking out a knife. My eyes go wide.

"What… what are you going to do?" I whimper.

"Well, I noticed part of the problem here was your little smooch fest earlier… and from what I saw, you were the one who initiated it." She saunters up close, pushing the cold metal of the knife against my cheek. "Can't kiss the same sex if you don't have any lips."

"No, no please!" I sob, feeling the sharp pain of the knife digging into my cheek. I see a small group of people walking on the other side of the street. "Help! Please, help!"

"Move along if you know what's good for you." One of the men holding Tori yells out to the group. They shuffle along quickly. I don't believe it.

"See? No one's going to help you." The woman with the knife glowers, sliding the knife to my bottom lip. I feel more skin on my cheek split and I hiss in pain.

"Let her go! I'll do whatever you want, just let her go!" Tori chokes out, recovered from the previous blow to her stomach.

"Shut up." A man spits at her.

"Any last words while you can still talk?" The lady asks.

"Just do it already!" The man holding me growls.

"Hold on, let her say her piece." The woman says, poking the tip of the knife into my bottom lip. I can hear Tori struggling helplessly and crying. I take a moment, and then I spit in the woman's face. "Ugh! You little cunt!" She turns away touching her face in disgust. As soon as the knife leaves my face, I drive my leg back into the man's groin. He loosens his hold a bit as he doubles back from the brunt force. I don't think I hit him hard enough, though. I start to twist away and just when I think I'm free, he grabs my wrist, yanking and twisting back painfully. My arm is filled with a dull throb.

"We've got a fighter." The man holding me back groans. The woman with the knife stands up straight and runs at me angrily before submerging the knife right into the side of my stomach. I double over in shock.

"_Cat!_" I hear Tori shriek as the burning pain starts to spread throughout my side.

"Let's get this over with." The woman glowers, still holding part of the knife in me.

"Whoa holy shit, watch out!" Someone behind her yells before the woman is yanked back by a now free Tori. The knife jaggedly rips from me which makes me cry out in pain. I can feel the blood seeping from it. Tori goes to punch the woman in the face but the woman is too quick, slamming the bottom of the metal rod she's holding square into Tori's face. A man from behind her swings his rod to hit Tori in the back, making her collapse to the ground groaning.

"T…Tor…" I whimper out, body being overcome with shock from my wound.

"Can't you two keep a hold on a stupid girl!?" The woman snaps.

"She acted like she passed out! She took us by surprise!" One of them complains.

"Well make sure she _really _passes out this time." The woman orders.

"Gladly." The man grunts. Tori looks up at me weakly, blood covering her face, before the man kicks her in the side, hard. Despite the shock I'm feeling, I react.

"**STOP IT!**" I screech, lunging forward. But the man holding me back stops me, yanking my arm and pulling it far behind my back. My shoulder pops painfully and I gasp, dots filling my vision.

"Do what you want with that one." I hear the woman says. Suddenly I'm being pushed against the brick wall.

"Shame about this one. She's a pretty little feisty girl, aren't you? Yeah, maybe you just need some converting." The man hisses to me. I can only whimper. Everything's happening all over again.

"Hey, maybe she just hasn't had the right dick." One of the men kicking Tori pauses to say.

"You're probably right. We should change that. All three of us can get a turn." The man holding me mutters, thrusting up against me. No.

"_**No**_!" I cry out in unison with the gasping voice of Tori.

"Shut up." The man shoves me hard, and my head cracks against the wall. My brain rattles, and nothing is clear anymore. Everything's fading out. I'm slightly aware of the man unbuttoning my jeans.

"Don't you _touch her_!"

"Holy sh-"

"Bitch!"

"Get her!"

The feeling of the man leaves me and I'm slack against the wall, barely holding myself up.

"Ugh, that hurt. Hit her again."

"Here, let me do it."

I start to slide down slowly, my legs weak, barely holding on to consciousness or reason. I barely hear a sickening crack and a strangled cry from Tori.

"Just put her out of her miserable existence."

"But, murder? We've never actually killed anyone."

"Whatever, these two are more trouble than they're worth."

"I got it."

The last thing I hear before darkness consumes me is the sound of a gunshot.

* * *

This feels different from when I usually pass out. When I've fainted, it feels like I'm in some dizzy sleep. That's not the case this time, though. This time, I'm just suspended in darkness and my body feels weightless. In fact, I don't even know if I have a body anymore. I know I have a head, though. I know because it feels like a balloon. Or maybe I am just a balloon now. A balloon that a young child was careless with and let go at a parade, and the child screams and cries as I rise up into the endless sky to an unknown fate.

Someone was screaming earlier. Maybe they were screaming for me because I was floating away. Or maybe it was me who was screaming because I don't want to float away. I like it on the ground. I need to go back down…

Suddenly, my head doesn't feel like a balloon anymore. Or if it does, it's a balloon expanded way passed its limits. My head is _throbbing_. It makes me feel sick. Ugh, can somebody stop the pain? Can somebody stop that _annoying beeping noise_? It's not helping!

Beeping? Where am I?

"Well, she seems to be stable." I hear.

"How is she, doctor?" I hear someone else say. The voice sounds familiar.

"Stable. Like I said. We won't know what the extent of the damage caused by the concussion is until she wakes up, but the rest will heal on its own."

"Could she wake up… functioning at a lower level?" The familiar voice asks. I _know _that voice.

"Perhaps. The brain is a very mysterious and complicated thing. Medical experts and psychologists are still trying to figure it out. Every brain injury is different. Did you see what caused the trauma?"

"I… no. When I got there, she was lying against the wall. The whole… side of the wall was covered in blood." The voice explains. Blood? My blood? On a wall?

"Are you… in anyway related to this girl, too?"

"…No. But she's important to me and until her parents get here, I want to look after her. Please." The voice begs.

"Very well, officer. I need someone to tell me if she wakes up anyway."

"Thank you, doctor." Officer… could it be Tori's dad? That fits… it sounds a lot like Tori's dad… why is Mr. Vega here, with a doctor? Doctor… blood… beeping… Hospital. Oh. "Cat. Can you hear me? You probably have a whopping headache right now. And stomach ache. And arm ache. Everything must ache. I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner…" I hear him sniff. "Those guys. We got them all, don't worry. You probably won't even need to stand trial this time. It's obvious that these thick-headed… close-minded…" He sputters before calming himself down. "…Regardless, you're safe now."

He's silent after that for a while. I wish he would have told me more about what happened. I'm still a little in the dark, literally and figuratively. I want to respond but I just feel so held back. Held back, like by that man in a mask… oh my god.

"Nnnn…" I groan quietly.

"Cat? Hey, it's David… erm, Tori's dad. Focus on my voice. Give me some indication that you understand what I'm saying." Mr. Vega instructs. What do I do? My body feels like a brick. I kind of wish I felt like a balloon again.

"Nnnn." I groan again.

"Okay, good. I think. Try and open your eyes." He says. So I try. They flutter a bit, but they feel as heavy as the rest of me. "Keep trying. Go at your own pace. Just keep focusing on my voice. That's right. You're doing great, Cat."

I keep trying for what feels like forever as he keeps saying encouragements before I finally open my eyes. Only for a second though, because the white flash of light made a sharp pain split down my head. "Bright." I croak out. I hear him shuffle a bit and a click.

"There, try again." Mr. Vega says. I open my eyes much quicker this time and see that it's a lot dimmer in the room. Good.

"What happened?" I ask weakly. He lets out a sigh of relief. His eyes are all red and puffy.

"Well, it seems you can talk. That's a good sign. Hold on, I'll explain everything in a minute." Mr. Vega promises while standing up. I try to nod, but my head doesn't want to co-operate. I hear Mr. Vega have an exchange with who I guess is a nurse out in the hallway, and then he's back at my side. "Okay." He sighs. "What do you remember?"

"I… don't know. I remember men in masks. They were really bad people. It's… fuzzy." I wince. "Oh. A woman, too. She was the worst." I recall slightly. Then I remember a knife. "I think she tried to cut my lips off. Oh my god, did she?!"

"Your lips are fine, Cat. Relax. You have a small cut on your cheek but that's it." Mr. Vega explains softly.

"…What about the rest of me?" I ask.

"Um… from what the doctor told me, you've suffered from a grade three concussion, a broken wrist and a dislocated shoulder – now relocated…" He lists off. I now become aware that while my left arm is slack at my side, my right arm is across my torso in a sling. Ouch. Now that throbs, too. "…And a puncture wound in the left side of your abdomen. I'm not a doctor, but I've seen enough in my line of work to recognize a stab wound. Was it the woman with the knife you were talking about?"

"I… think so… Yeah." I try to remember. I think I remember her being really angry, and then stabbing me… Oh. Yeah. "I… I was stabbed."

"You lost a lot of blood from that, but you got some transfusions and although you'll be weak for a while, you'll be fine. No organs were damaged. It's all stitched up and it will heal in time." Mr. Vega assures me.

"Is she awake, then?" A man with a long white coat walks in.

"Yes, doctor. She seems to be having trouble remembering the incident, but otherwise she seems fine." Mr. Vega explains.

"Let's just check her out here." The doctor says, sitting on the bed by me. He pushes a button, making the bed lift me up a little. The bending makes me feel the literal stabbing sensation in my side, making me hiss in pain. "Sorry about that. I need to check your eyes." He says, pulling out a small flashlight. I feel like I'm missing a very, _very _important detail.

Tori.

"Where's Tori?" I ask quickly. I see Mr. Vega's face go pale as he looks away, visibly upset. My heart drops. Mr. Vega is blocked from my view as a light is shone in my eyes. Everything slows down as I wait for a response. Why wouldn't her dad be with her right now? Why is he with me? She's not… She couldn't possibly… Tori can't be… If she is, I can't live without her. I can't. She's my…

When you're worried about a loved one and you're waiting to hear their fate, it's the longest moment of your life. This doctor could have been shining the light in my eyes for a year, even though it was probably only a few seconds.

"She's in surgery right now…" Mr. Vega finally croaks out.

"What… what does that mean?" I ask with a whimper. My eyes adjust to the lack of light. It hurt my head, but I don't care.

"It means she's on the road to recovery. As are you. You need some rest but you'll be fine. Do you want anything for the pain?" The doctor asks.

"No thank you." I say. I want to be completely clear headed right now until I know Tori is undeniably okay. The doctor nods and leaves the room, checking a clip board. "Why is she in surgery?"

"She… One of the assholes fractured her left femur, so they're putting pins in to help fix that. And they… beat her so brutally that she had internal bleeding. They're fixing that as well." Mr. Vega explains darkly. He looks sick. I feel sick too. She must be in a lot of pain, and by his reaction, we must have been pretty close to losing her…

"But she'll be okay?" I ask. He gives me a small smile.

"Yes, permitting the surgery goes well." He assures me. I furrow my brow. I want to cry.

"I… everything's still fuzzy about what happened, but I remember a gunshot…" I recall.

"That… was my doing." Mr. Vega admits. "We got a call about a disturbance. I was conveniently the nearest officer so I checked it out immediately. When I showed up, I saw… I saw them beating my _daughter. _One was about to bring their weapon down on her head. I didn't even think. I shot him."

"Oh god." I mutter. "Thank you."

"I didn't kill him, but I wish I did." He growls. "Don't repeat that to anybody."

I lean back a bit, thinking. There were other things. It's coming back to me slowly. I remember… right before the gunshot… "They were going to rape me… I don't know how far it got." I tremble.

"When I found you, your jeans were undone but that was it. You were checked out here to make sure. You weren't raped, Cat. I promise." Mr. Vega swears. I let out a breath of relief, my head sinking back. Ow. I reach my good hand up to touch my pounding head and wince. I can feel the bandages lining my head. "I should let you rest." Mr. Vega nods at me. "Want the bed lowered?"

I nod and brace myself for the sharp pain. For the record, getting stabbed is not fun. Mr. Vega gets up and grabs the curtain. "Um, Mr. Vega?" I start.

"Yes?"

"Thank you… for caring and watching over me. You didn't have to." I mumble.

"Cat, yes I did. You're with my daughter. You make her happy, and that makes me happy. You're like family to us, Cat. I hope you know that. I would have pulled my gun just as quickly for you." Mr. Vega states.

"Thank you." I say, lip quivering. "Will you let me know how Tori is once she's out?"

"Of course. Rest up." He nods, pulling the curtain closed. I hear his footsteps walking away.

I close my eyes, a tear escaping one of them. I can't cry because it hurts. What's happened to me and Tori… It was all my fault.

* * *

The sound of a curtain being pulled back, and then a gasp.

"Oh… Oh Cat, baby…" I hear my mom whimper.

"How is she?" The voice of my dad asks. Mom? Dad? Ugh, my eyes won't open again… dang it.

"She's resting off her injuries now. She was awake earlier and she seemed to be functioning at a normal level, minus some struggle with pain and memory of the incident. I'll run more tests once her side has healed a bit more. It's too dangerous to move her too much without risking her stitches tearing." My doctor explains.

"Why would someone do this to her?" My dad asks.

"Do you think it was some Northridge kids who were still bitter at her?" My mom questions, voice quivering.

"The attackers were middle aged, and they had no relation to Cat." I hear Tori's dad's voice again.

"Officer Vega. What are you doing here?" My dad asks.

"I was the officer who found her… and they also attacked my daughter. They were together at the time." Mr. Vega explains. "Please, call me David."

"Oh my goodness, is Tori okay?" My mom asks.

"She just got out surgery. She's in the recovery room now, and they said she should make a full recovery. I can't see her until she's stable, though. Right?" Mr. Vega says.

"That's correct." My doctor pipes in. Tori's going to be alright… if I were fully conscious, I would scream in happiness.

"Officer – David. Why were they attacked?" My mom asks.

"I still have to get a statement from Cat and Tori, but judging from the eye witness accounts and even the statements from the attackers themselves, it was a hate crime." Mr. Vega explains.

"Hate? Hate against what?" My dad asks. Wait. Oh god. No.

"Well, hate against homosexuality." Mr. Vega reveals.

"That doesn't make any sense. They must have attacked the wrong girls. Our daughter isn't gay." My mom affirms. Stop. Mr. Vega stop talking, please.

"… Cat never told you?" Mr. Vega asks. I need to do something. My parents can't find out like this. I need to have a heart attack. Or something. Anything. Something to distract everyone.

"Told us what?" My dad demands.

"…Your daughter and my daughter have been dating for some time now." Mr. Vega sighs. Then there's silence.

No.

Oh god, no.

This can't be happening.

"That's not possible." My dad mutters.

"It's true. I'm sorry she never told you." Mr. Vega says.

"Perhaps she never did because she knows it's something to be ashamed of." My mom states.

"Hold on. I know your views are none of my business, but I find nothing wrong with the relationship. They make each other very happy." Mr. Vega reasons.

"David, with all due respect, but do you consider _this _to be nothing wrong? Your daughter did this to my Cat!" My mother cries. I feel my stomach drop. I hear Mr. Vega let out a shuddered breath.

"I know this is shocking and you're pretty upset, so I'm going to leave you to collect your thoughts." Mr. Vega states. No. Don't go.

"Wake up." I hear my dad forcefully say. "**Wake up!**"

"I would advise against that…" My doctor says quietly.

"Don't tell me what I can or can't do. Caterina, you need to wake up _right this instant_." My dad says so angrily that I'm actually able to slightly open my eyes. I'm scared. "Is it true? Are you romantically involved with Tori?"

"Y…yes." I croak out. My mouth is dry. My dad's face goes red as he turns away, combing his hand through his hair. "Dad… it's not a big deal…"

"The hell it isn't." He growls, pointing at me.

"Cat, why would you choose to do this?" My mom asks sternly. "It needs to stop."

"I… I can't stop what I feel in my heart." I tremble out.

"I think you're just a little confused." My mom says sympathetically.

"I'm not confused. My feelings for Tori are the only thing I'm absolutely sure of in the world." I choke out.

"But that's not possible. You _can't _feel romantically for a member of the same sex." My dad argues.

"Tell that to my uncles. Or Ellen. Or take a walk in my shoes for a day. Then tell me that I can't feel romantically for Tori." I glare. My head is pounding again as tears fill my eyes.

"Honey, sometimes feelings of strong friendship can be confused for something they're not…" My mom tries to explain.

"I _love _her. And she loves me." I state.

"You're a seventeen year-old girl! You don't know what love is!" My dad snaps. I wish he wouldn't yell.

"Love doesn't know an age limit." I mutter. I cough and collapse back into the bed, feeling spent.

"I'm sorry, but this patient needs her rest. I'm going to have to ask you both to leave." My doctor orders, and I'm grateful.

"Then we're taking her home with us _now_." My dad states.

"I can't allow that. She needs to be kept here overnight for observation." My doctor says.

"We are her parents, and we won't allow her to stay in such proximity to a girl who has poisoned her mind." My mom glowers.

"Please… don't…" I barely sob out.

"I'm afraid you have no choice in the matter." Mr. Vega once again steps in the doorway, his badge gleaming. My parents stare at him long and hard for a moment.

"Fine. But we'll be back tomorrow to pick her up." My dad grumbles. They both give me a look that breaks my heart. Disappointment. They push past Mr. Vega and out the door. Tori's dad stands there solemnly looking at me, as I burst out into tears.

"Cat… I had no idea they would react that way." Mr. Vega sighs. "Maybe they just need some time to cope."

"Th… they hate me." I sob out.

"They're still your parents. I think it was a lot to take in for them." He approaches my bed, giving me caring eyes. Now I know where Tori gets that look from. It calms me down, a little.

"What do I do?" I sniff.

"Get better. That's all you should focus on now. Tori would want you to focus on getting yourself better first." Mr. Vega reasons. I nod slowly. Just then, a rapid beeping noise comes from the doctor. He pulls out a pager, glancing at it.

"Speaking of, it seems your daughter is ready to wake up." The doctor announces. Mr. Vega tenses, and then looks at me.

"I'd hate to leave you alone right now." He sighs.

"You have to go. I'll be okay. Send her all my love?" I request. He smiles lightly.

"Of course. Trina's on her way, she might be here by now. I'll send her over when she's done visiting with Tori." Mr. Vega assures me.

"Thank you." I smile.

"Feel better." He wishes before heading out. I look at my doctor. He's been standing there for a while.

"I'm sorry about your parents." He says.

"Thanks…" I mumble.

"Are you sure you want nothing for the pain?"

"No, I'm good." I sigh. "When can _I _see Tori?"

"When you're well enough to move without help. Right now it's just immediate family, anyway." The doctor explains.

"Okay." I shut my eyes. I want to see her _now_. The doctor gets another page.

"Buzz the nurse if you need anything." He says. I nod he walks out. And now I cry fully. It hurts everything, but I can't stop the wracking sobs. Maybe I should've taken something for the pain.

I cry until there's a mix of me not being able to handle the pain, and just running out of tears. I just stare at the ceiling, trying to control my thoughts. I try not to think of my parents. Mr. Vega said I should focus on getting better. It's what Tori would want… I wonder how she's doing. What I wouldn't give to curl up in her arms right now.

After an undetermined amount of time, Trina makes her appearance. For someone who is very picky about their hair and make-up, she looks a little less kept than usual. I can see a bit of smudged mascara on her cheek. She must be really affected by what happened to her younger sister…

"You look like crap." She states.

"Thank you?" I say slowly. She walks over, swinging a nearby chair to my bedside.

"At least you look better off than Tori." Trina sighs, sitting down. I feel sick again for a moment.

"How is she?" I ask softly.

"Well, as if it wasn't obvious before but I'm definitely the better looking sister now. But she'll live." She assures me. I stare at her. "She really loves you, by the way."

"What makes you say that?" I ask, feeling a blush.

"When she first woke up, as soon as she had the strength to talk, she didn't ask about herself and what her situation was. She didn't even ask how I was. I mean, my sister just got beaten to a pulp. Don't I get some sympathy?" I fight the urge to roll my eyes. "But no, it was all, 'is Cat okay?' She refused to answer any of our questions about herself until she knew how you were."

"Oh… Tori…" I sigh.

"Yeah. She's dying to see you. Ooh, maybe I shouldn't use that wording…" Trina trails off.

"I want to see her, too." I claim.

"Well neither of you are in a state to travel to each other's rooms. By the way… I heard about the run in with your parents. Dad told me. It sounded… pretty bad. I'm sorry." Trina mutters. I stay silent, looking down. "Listen, Tori can't be here for you right now, so I can be your shoulder if you need it."

"Thanks, Trina." I smile at her.

"Just try not to fall in love with me, too. That would be awkward." Trina scoffs. I actually giggle. Ow.

"Um… do you… think I'm too young to be in love?" I ask slowly. Trina leans back a bit, thoughtful.

"It really depends on the couple, I think. I mean, I guess at this age we're still in the developmental stages, so how we are now is not set in stone. I suppose that's why high school sweethearts don't work out very often. They change, and things aren't the same anymore. However… some do work. And I think those are the couples that change together. Maybe you and Tori are one of those couples, maybe you aren't. But if you take the plunge then you can have something very everlasting and amazing. Isn't that worth sticking it out to see?" Trina philosophizes. I gape at her. "What?"

"That was just… very profound." I state.

"Don't be so surprised." Trina scoffs. "I can read some trashy romance novels as much as the next girl." She explains. Well, that explains it. But I guess her novels are right.

"Well, thank you. That makes me feel a bit better." I say.

"You know how I do." Trina flips her hair back.

"Where's your mom?"

"My mom? Oh, well you know she's moved out of our house now that the divorce is finalized. This was her first weekend living with Gary, so they were celebrating by spending the weekend off somewhere or whatever. We've been having a hard time getting a hold of her, but I'm sure she'll be right here as soon as she finds out Tori's situation." Trina informs.

"I wonder how Tori will react to that…" I mutter. Trina shrugs.

"I have no idea. All I know is that who she really wants to see right now is you." She states. Soon, love. I promise. Trina looks at her phone. "Welp, I should really get going. Due to Tori's predicament, this puts all the work on me for our hip hop class. I need to get home and rest up before workin' on my twerkin' tomorrow." Trina sighs.

"Ooh." I wince. Tori won't like that.

"What?"

"Nothing." I squeak.

"Okay… So, you'll be okay if I leave you here? Tori would probably ruin my favourite shirt if I left you while you were vulnerable and upset…" Trina grumbles.

"I'll be okay. Thanks, Trina. Oh, can you do me a favour?" I request.

"Sure."

"Can you text all my friends? Jade, Beck, Robbie, Andre… I don't know where my phone is and they have no idea where Tori and I are. They'll probably want to visit as soon as possible." I explain.

"Yep, I'm on it. Want me to give them all the details?" She asks.

"Yeah... let them in on everything." I nod.

"Alrighty. And hey." Trina says, putting her hand on my knee. "The Vega family has your back no matter what. I swear to Trina."

"That means so much." I breathe, feeling tears sting my eyes again.

"Oh, right." She leans in and kisses me on my uninjured cheek. "Compliments from Tori."

I blush as she leaves. It's not Tori, but I'll take it. Not long after she leaves, a nurse comes in to change my bandages and help me to the bathroom (thankfully). Neither were easy tasks, because guess what? She had to keep me steady since the concussion has thrown my balance temporarily off, and the bandages are around my waist… both activities involve a lot of touching, and the nurse isn't Tori. I admit I'm a lot better and human contact in general now, but every so often I would flinch and I could literally feel my stitches tugging. Not a pleasant feeling. After I was put back in bed, Mr. Vega came by again.

"Hi, Cat." He greets.

"Did you see Tori?" I yawn. I feel so exhausted even though I've just laid here all day.

"Yes. She's doing well. Worried about you, but she's well." He sighs. Just like what Trina said.

"Did you send her my love?" I ask.

"Absolutely. And she sends it back ten-fold." Mr. Vega smiles. I close my eyes and sigh. "So I need to get going for a few hours… take a nap and fill out some paper work involving the arrests today. I'll probably ask you for a full statement tomorrow when you've recovered more from your concussion and the details are less fuzzy. I contacted Tori's mom, finally. She's going to get here as soon as she can to see Tori. I told her to pop in on you, as well, after telling her the situation with your parents." He explains.

"Okay. I hope you have a good rest." I say.

"You too. I'll be back probably around 3 or 4am." He states. I nod and he leaves. I'm so grateful for the Vega family.

I lie there for a while trying to sleep, but I can't despite how tired I am. All I can think about is what Trina and her dad said to me. Tori wants to see you… Tori is worried about you… I want to see her, too. She's so close yet so far. She has a broken leg and so it'd be impossible for her to make the trek to my room, but my legs are fine. I mean, I have a stab wound with fragile stitch-work and a concussion that makes the room spin when I stand up, so it's probably a stupid idea to try anything. But at the same time… it seems even more stupid to stay here when my girl needs me.

My mind's made up. I look around for a moment just in case someone was randomly in the room. When I see no one, I start to sit up… ow. Ow. My wound did not like that. I collapse back down, slightly clutching my side. C'mon Cat. How many times did you practice getting up without the use of your stomach muscles in movement class? You can do this. I slide my legs off the bed, twisting my body until I'm lying horizontally across the bed. Putting my feet against the floor and using my one good arm, I slowly raise myself up to standing with my thigh muscles. It still hurt, but I think all my stitches are intact.

And then another problem. I start to get vertigo looking at the ground as if it's a thousand miles away. I close my eyes trying to catch my bearings. Tori. You need to get to Tori. You hear that, brain? Focus. I open my eyes and although the door is wobbling, I am able to make my way to it. I stumble getting close and I catch myself with my arm on the door frame. I feel my stitches tug a bit and the sharp pain makes me hiss. I wish I had my other arm for balancing. I glance out the door and I see some staff members, but they're preoccupied. I walk out quietly, trying to keep everything leveled in my head. It seems to get better, but my brain is pounding and that makes me feel nauseous. I make it to the nurses' desk and lucky for me, no one's at the front right now. I pull the book there towards me. Tori Vega. She's just down the hall. She really was close.

I continue my wobbly journey but it's drowned out by the fact that I'm going to see my poor girlfriend in about a minute. I would run if I didn't think that would make me pass out. I find the room number and I look in. There she is… oh god.

Her bed is propped up and she's sitting up, leaning against it with her eyes closed. Her nose and the area around it are a deep purple and black colour with two thin bandages across it. I remember now. That woman slammed a metal rod into her face. Of course it'd be broken. Underneath that she has a small nasal breathing tube. It's better than having a full on oxygen mask or one of those breathing tubes down her throat. The rest of her is covered in a blanket, but I can see that where her legs are, one bump is clearly larger than the other. Must be from her cast. She has a bunch of wires running down her hospital gown and an I.V. up her arm. I guess Trina was right… I do look better off than her.

I walk closer to the bed carefully. I notice her chest doesn't inflate as much as it usually does, and her breathing seems laboured. I always loved watching and listening to her breathe, so I know the difference. Just as I get up to the bed, her eyes flutter open to see me. I give her a small smile, fighting every urge to leap on her.

"Cat?" She mumbles. Then her eyes pop open wide. "Cat!" Tori lifts up suddenly, but her body tenses as her breath hitches, eyes shut tight in a wince.

"Tori, sweetheart, shh. Relax." I say softly, touching the side of her face. She rests back against the raised bed, letting the pain subside. Her eyes open again, trained on me.

"Is this a dream?" She mutters.

"No, love. I'm here. I'm okay. We're okay." I whisper, stroking her cheek with my thumb and careful not to touch the discoloured area. She smiles weakly.

"Cat… I missed you." She sighs.

"I know. I missed you, too." I murmur.

"What are you doing out of bed? They told me you weren't allowed to leave it." Tori questions.

"What can I say? I'm a rebel." I smile.

"You should be resting." Tori mumbles, closing her eyes and leaning into my hand. "But I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." I whisper. Her eyes open again to look at me.

"How are you feeling?" She asks gently.

"Better, now that I'm with you." I say. "How about you?"

"Lots of pain. Lots of drugs to help fight the pain. None of them compare to you, though." Tori smiles.

"I love you so much, Tori." I tremble.

"Oh, Cat. I love you, too." She sighs. I sit on the bed carefully, and then lean forward even more carefully to touch her lips with mine softly. When I pull back, both our eyes are glistening.

"Tori… I'm so sorry." I breathe out.

"For what?" She asks. I close my eyes, suddenly feeling guilty for being in her presence and for kissing her.

"It's my fault… They attacked us because of me." I shudder. She furrows her brow.

"What? Did you hire them or something?" She asks incredulously.

"N-no… But… they knew we were together because I stupidly kissed you at that café. They saw that and they knew to attack us. It's all my fault…" I start to cry.

"Cat, stop it. We kissed just as any heterosexual couple would have. It's ridiculous that we had to suffer an attack like that just because of who we are, but…" She takes a moment to breathe, unable to breathe fully like before, "It's nobody's fault. You didn't do this. I didn't do this. We were just being in love, and then we were in the wrong place at the wrong time… that's it." Tori affirms.

"I just hate that they did this to you…" I mutter, a tear rolling down my cheek. She reaches up to wipe it away, wincing slightly as she does.

"Me too. When I woke up after surgery… The last thing I remembered was having my leg broken." She shudders. "I think I passed out from the pain. People weren't kidding when they said femur breaks are at the top of the pain scale. So I didn't… I didn't remember my dad saving us last second. All I knew when waking up was what they were going to do to you. I didn't even know if you were alive. It was the worst moment of my life." Tori's lip quivers. I remove my hand from her face to hold her hand. I guess that backs up what Trina said about Tori interrogating them about me as soon as she could.

"I had a moment like that with you. I didn't know what I would have done if you were…" I can't even finish. She nods slightly.

"I'm just so happy you're okay. I mean, I'm sad you're hurt and I want to take the pain away…" Tori pauses to look over my wounds, from my head to my arm to the hidden wound of my side. She watched me get stabbed. We both had to endure seeing each other face the brunt of physical abuse. It makes me want to hold her and never let her go. "But you know what? They didn't win. They wanted to snuff us out, but they couldn't beat us. _Nothing _ever beats us."

"You're right." I sniff. "Somehow, we always pull through."

She squeezes my hand. "And we always will." Tori murmurs. Ignoring the throb in my head, I rest my forehead against her and let out a sigh.

"I wish we could've gotten out a little less roughed up." I state quietly.

"Agreed. Having six broken ribs is very uncomfortable." Tori winces.

"Six?" I gasp.

"Mhm. They'll heal, don't worry. Just like everything else. Did the doctor tell you you'll heal up too?" Tori asks.

"Yeah. He wants to run a few more tests once I'm able to move more without risking ripping out my stiches in my side." I explain.

"Like you're risking now?" Her eyes narrow. I take my forehead off hers, smiling innocently.

"Maybe." I mumble.

"Cat Valentine, what am I going to do with you?" Tori sighs.

"Maybe once we're all better and physically able… you can figure out _exactly _what to do with me." I tease. I can barely tell through the purple, but she's blushing.

"Thinking about that already?" She asks, smiling.

"Hard not to." I claim sheepishly.

"Mmm… well, I can't wait." Tori murmurs. "But be careful with what you say. If my heart rate goes up and the machine starts beeping, nurses will run in here and catch you. You don't want that, do you?"

"No." I pout.

"Me neither." She grins.

"Okay, I'll behave." I yawn. I rest my forehead against hers again. How can my parents think this isn't real? This is a love worth fighting for.

I don't tell her about my run in with my parents. She might already know from her dad, but I don't want to concern her with it right now if she doesn't know. Right now, I'm just happy being with her, both of us alive, both of us sinking ships keeping each other afloat. I gently press my lips to hers again.

"Um." We hear. I pull back and look over to see Holly shifting slightly in the doorframe. "Cat. Tori." She sighs.

"Mom." Tori breathes.

"Sweetie… oh, how are you feeling?" Holly asks. She looks over at me as I stand up carefully. "How are both of you feeling?"

"I'm alright. Tired." I answer.

"I'm all hopped up on drugs. Never thought you'd hear me say that, huh? Luckily, it's just for pain." Tori jokes, earning a smile from both me and her mother. Tori looks at me. "If you're tired you should go to bed."

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yeah… I have my mom to look after me for now." Tori sighs, smiling. I grin at her and I see Holly's face go aghast as she strolls forward to Tori's bedside.

"Do you mean that?" Holly asks.

"Life's too short to hold grudges… I'm willing to forgive and move on." Tori states. Holly's lip trembles. "Are you going to cry?" Tori smirks.

"No." Holly sniffs.

"Are you going to cry?" Tori repeats.

"…Yes." Holly bursts out crying, bending over to lightly put her arms around her daughter's neck. Tori looks over Holly's shoulder at me, mouthing an "I love you".

"I'll come see you in the morning." I grin.

"Sleep tight, honey." Tori answers, rubbing her mother's back.

I look back at them one last time before exiting the room. Something good came out of this. The future of my family relationship may be uncertain, but the future of Tori's is certain. She's found peace with her mom. Maybe I can find the same with my parents.

Walking down the hall, I feel a heavy dampness against my skin from the hospital gown. I look down to my side to see an increasingly expanding blood spot. Aw, chiz. So close.

* * *

**Author's Notes: You know that thing writers do where they put their characters at their happiest and then rip it away from them in a ruthless fashion? I did that. I'm sorry, Cori! This chapter had some heavy themes... I'm sincerely sorry for ANYONE who has experienced hate of ANY kind, regardless of sexuality, race, gender, etc... The world can be cruel, but know that a lot of people will accept you for who you are, and people are getting more accepting every day! For example, the brutality at the beginning of this chapter - it's based off a story from near my hometown that I heard back in 2008. It's 2013 now, and I believe things have gotten a lot better just in a short span of time - in my hometown, in media, and society in general. Hope for the human race? Possibly. **

**So I did that thing where I can't keep up with myself, so even though the next chapter is supposed to be out Saturday morning, it'll most likely be pushed back to Sunday morning. I mean, I want to get it to you on Saturday, but I'm not going to enjoy writing if I'm forcing myself to reach a deadline by the skin of my teeth. I'm sure you won't mind too much... Nothing important is happening in this story right now anyway. Right? Pssshh... But hey! Maybe a miracle will happen. Regardless, let me know what you thought of this chapter. **

**Fun Fact: So I have a close friend in nursing, but she doesn't know I'm writing this story. So before I wrote this chapter, I went to her and was all, HEY, BRAIN HEMORRHAGING. HOW DOES THAT WORK? AND HOW LONG DO FEMUR BREAKS TAKE TO HEAL? WHAT'S THE PROCEDURE FOR FIXING A STAB WOUND? She was very confused. She also wasn't much help. **

**By the way! My first story, Fighting Together, turned 90 days old today! That means it's peace-ing out from my doc manager. It's weird, like I'm sending my firstborn off to college. **


	27. And I Can't Change

**MIRACLES HAAAPPEN ONCE IN A WHILE, WHEN YOU BELIEEEEVE (MIRACLES HAPPEN!)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, but I claim full responsibility for the people who now have "Miracles Happen" by Myra in their head and/or now have a craving to watch The Princess Diaries. Admit it, some of you do. **

* * *

"So, what did we learn?" The doctor asks me after coming back for his shift in the morning. He's currently taking my blood pressure.

"That… sneaking out in the middle of the night to see my girlfriend rips my stitches?" I ask innocently.

"That would be correct." He sighs. "Well, you're all stitched up again so not too much harm done. The only thing is that it slowed down the healing process a bit so you'll have to stay here a bit longer…" He explains. So, I'll have to wait a while before I have to go home with my parents to face their judgment and disappointment? Well, shucks.

"Sorry." I pout.

"I probably should have expected it, honestly." The doctor drawls, noting my vitals and marking something down on my chart. "Tell you what. Today after you finish breakfast I'll get the nurses to grab you a wheel chair and they'll take you to visit your girlfriend without you risking injuring yourself. How's that sound?"

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you. I'm very grateful." I smile. "I'm not very hungry, though."

"I know hospital food isn't the best, but you haven't eaten in a while and you need to keep up your strength. Otherwise, we'll have to start an I.V." He warns.

"Fine." I sigh.

"Thatta girl." The doctor smiles. I'm glad he has good bedside manner. When the food comes, it's a small portion of scrambled eggs, a strip of bacon and a slice of whole wheat toast with jam. It looks good, but it's pretty bland. Definitely nothing like my mom's cooking, which makes me sad. Maybe it's ridiculous to think my mom will stop cooking for me now that she knows I'm gay, but… I'm just worried about how a lot of things are going to change.

I'm only able to eat half of everything because my stomach isn't having any of it today. The doctor seemed disappointed but he still allowed me to go see Tori. I mean, if they really want me to eat they should just give me bibble. Like, really.

I get edged onto a wheel chair and then I'm pushed down the hall towards Tori's room. She doesn't look much better than she did last night, but I still brighten up when I see her.

"Good morning, Tori!" I greet cheerfully. She looks over, a caring look on her face.

"Morning, hun." She sighs. The nurse stops me at the side of her bed, locking the wheels in place.

"I'll be back in an hour to take you back to your room. I know it'll be hard but _try _not to get up so you can get closer." The nurse scolds.

"No promises." I mutter, looking dreamily at Tori. The nurse gives an incredulous sigh before leaving. Tori gives me a small smile, but she seems to be distracted. It could just be the morphine. "How are you feeling today?"

"About the same." Tori admits, looking down for a moment before meeting my eyes again. "How are you? My dad told me you ripped your stitches." She frowns. He had come back from home just as the night staff were stitching me up again. I give a small smile.

"Yeah… but it's okay now. I'm all stitched up again. I'll be more careful next time." I sigh. She nods slightly.

"Your head? Your arm?" She questions.

"My head is less poundy today, but my whole arm is pretty achy." I pout. "Nothing compared to what you're feeling, I'm sure."

"I hope you feel better soon." She sighs, still looking concerned. "And… my mom told me about your parents…"

"Oh." I frown. "Where is your mom?" I ask. Tori nods her head toward the far wall. I look to see her mom slumped in a chair, sleeping soundly.

"I think she stayed up all night watching over me." Tori mutters. She turns back to me. "Why didn't you tell me about your parents last night?"

"It wasn't important." I shake my head.

"Cat… of course it's important. It's your family and… the way they reacted… I can't imagine how you must be feeling." Tori's lip quivers.

"I'm pretty shaken up, yes… but last night was about us, not them. I… wasn't going to let them sully my reunion with my injured girlfriend." I affirm. She tilts her head, looking at me with affection.

"Well, do you want to talk about it now?" She asks softly. I close my eyes.

"What do you want me to say?" I mumble.

"Just… how you're feeling about it, for a start." Tori says. I take a breath.

"Scared. I don't know how my parents are going to treat me, or if they'll ever accept me. They might try to drive us apart. Sad. I love my parents but they clearly don't love this part of me. Angry. They're my parents and I've been through a lot with them yet they find out I'm in love with a girl and suddenly it's all about how they feel. It's not fair. Guilty. I don't want them to be so upset over something I am." I explain quietly, slowly opening my tear-filled eyes to look at my loving girlfriend.

"Those are all valid emotions… except the last one. You shouldn't feel guilty. They should accept you as you are. They're just… ignorant, right now. It doesn't have to be that way forever. Oh, and they _won't _drive us apart. That's not even possible." Tori assures me. I give her a teary smile.

"Even on drugs, you know just what to say." I sniff.

"Maybe the drugs give me a different perspective." She winks. I giggle, which hurts a little bit but laughter is the best medicine, right? She reaches out and I lean forward carefully to lace my fingers with hers.

"Hey, girls." Mr. Vega's voice calls from behind me. I crane my neck to see him coming towards us from the door.

"Good morning, Mr. Vega." I smile. He gives an uneasy smile back, and Tori furrows her brow at him.

"What's up, dad?" She asks. He looks at me, pity etched on his face.

"I… I just saw your dad by the nurses' desk talking to the doctor. He was here to pick you up." He explains.

"Oh… What happened?" I ask slowly.

"Well, the doctor explained you had to stay a little longer because of complications with your patch up. So he…" Mr. Vega lets out a deep sigh. "So he left."

My head drops, tears filling my eyes once again. Instead of checking on me, he just left when he couldn't take me home? I'd like to think it was because he was in a hurry, but I know deep down… He doesn't want to deal with me right now. It makes me nervous about what's going to happen when I do go home.

"I'm sorry, but that's just ridiculous." Tori growls.

"Tori…" Her dad sighs.

"No. You're a parent, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm lucky you're so accepting. I can't believe they're doing this to Cat. After everything… they should just be happy she's alive, but no. They're so set in their ways that they've forgotten their daughter is way more than her sexuality… I can't believe how immature they're being about this. When you have a child, you don't get some sort of multiple choice questionnaire so you can determine the… IQ, body type and sexual preference of your child before it's born. Like, no. They're your child. Love them no matter what… Cat deserves way better than what they're giving her right now." Tori fumes breathlessly, still struggling to get everything out. I let out a sob at her words and I hear her sigh. "Sorry, Cat… I'm just so angry for you. I got carried away…"

"No, I agree with everything you said. I just, I can't believe it's gone this way. It's so messed up." I choke out.

"You both have been through a lot." Mr. Vega mutters.

"And I just want to hug you so bad right now but I can't because of this _stupid _stab wound from those s_tupid _homophobes that think the world should be run from their perspective." I cry.

"Oh, Cat…" Tori sniffles. "I want to make it better… I want to make everything better."

"I'll do my part to make sure those assailants won't hurt anybody else." Mr. Vega assures.

"And we'll figure out your parents, honey. We'll figure this out together." Tori murmurs, squeezing my hand. I nod slightly, trying to get my painful sobs under control.

"I'll leave you two alone for a bit." Mr. Vega sighs. He gently wakes up Holly and explains the situation, and they both leave.

"Tori…" I mutter, my tears finally calming down. "Do you love me?"

"With all my heart."

"And you'll still stay with me even if it means dealing with my panic attacks, getting mugged on the street and fighting against my parents?"

"Yes." She whispers. "You're worth all of it."

"Why?"

"Because you'd do the same for me." Tori sighs.

"You're right about that." I mutter, finally looking up at her.

"You and me… we hold each other up. I wouldn't have it any other way." Tori murmurs. I look back down.

"I swear, as soon as my side heals up and you're feeling a bit better… you are getting the make-out session of your life." I state quietly. I look up at her, slightly smiling when I see her blush. She smiles back to me sweetly.

"I look forward to it."

* * *

In the afternoon, our friends came by just as I thought they would. When she saw me, Jade stormed up and down the room threatening to utterly destroy the people who did this. Robbie brought a giant bouquet of flowers up, and they all signed a get well card. I have the best friends. Still no sign of my parents, though…

In the evening, Mr. Vega requested me to be in the same room as Tori to gather our statements about the attack. I was wheeled to her room and Mr. Vega sat across from us, a small notepad and pencil in hand.

"This is obviously informal, but everything you say is important and will be recorded by me." He states. "Technically, I shouldn't be doing this at all due to conflict of interest… but since it's so personal, I want to hear your sides of the story first." Mr. Vega explains.

"Okay, dad. Thanks." Tori nods.

"I know it might be hard to talk about, so feel free to stop at any time…" He says slowly.

"Alright." I smile. I really wish Mr. Vega had been the one to interrogate me back in the summer.

"So, let's start with Cat. Try to recount what happened as best as you can." He requests. "I know things might still be fuzzy for you."

"Yeah… I remember the first part pretty well, now. Unfortunately." I shudder. "There were four people with masks. Three male, one…" I take a gulp of air, "female. They told us they were there to teach us a lesson for being gay. They tore us apart and the woman threatened to cut off my lips… so I spat in her face. I tried to escape but the guy holding me back stopped me, and the woman stabbed me. It hurt. A lot. This is when it starts getting diluted… But I remember Tori suddenly pulling the woman off me, and then they hit her…" My throat catches, remembering. Tori gives me a comforting look. "Everything was getting blurry because the pain in my side was so intense. And then I was being shoved up against a wall, and they were talking about r-raping me… and then I don't know. I remember Tori screaming… they were talking about killing us… a gunshot… And then I woke up here." I sigh, lip trembling by the end.

"Thank you, that's good enough." Mr. Vega assures. He turns to Tori, who looks nauseous. "What do you remember, pumpkin?" He asks softly.

"Basically everything Cat said… except a bit more. Two guys were holding me back and I had to watch as this woman was threatening to mutilate my girlfriend's lips… One elbowed me in the stomach at one point, which is the moment I realized they were being serious. When Cat tried to escape and she was stabbed, I nearly lost it… I shut down, and they thought I passed out so they slacked their hold on me… so I took the chance to pull away from them and… and I was just so angry, I pulled that woman away from Cat without even thinking." Tori recalls, a tear already rolling down her cheek.

"Tori… that was very dangerous." Mr. Vega scolds softly.

"I know. But it was Cat." Tori affirms, looking over to me. I give her a small smile. "Anyway, I tried to fight back, but I just couldn't… She broke my nose and I was hit to the ground… and then I remember a lot of pain. I couldn't even breathe. They just… kept kicking me." Tori whispers. Tears fill my eyes. "Despite that, I heard them talking about raping Cat and… and then I _did _lose it. There was no way… So a grabbed one of their legs and pulled, and somehow they lost balance and fell to the ground. I grabbed their metal rod and even though my body was in so much pain, I rushed at the guy holding Cat and hit him in the back of the head… Then I was thrown to the ground and the guy I hit stood over me with the pole and brought it down on my leg…" She trails off, staring ahead. "That's all I remember."

"Tori…" I breathe. She fought so hard to protect me… She could have run away both times she escaped, but her first instinct was to protect me. She risked everything… And now she has a broken nose, a broken leg, and some broken ribs… She got all broken for _me_.

"Thank you, Tori. I'm so sorry all this happened. You can put it behind you, now." Mr. Vega mutters, writing something down. His hand is shaking.

"Tori…?" I repeat, my voice quivering. She turns her head slowly to look at me. "You… you…"

"Hey. I'm fine now, okay? The only thing that I would change is finding a way to keep you from getting a concussion, or breaking your wrist or getting stabbed…"

"You shouldn't have gotten so hurt for me. You could have run away." I tremble.

"Wasn't an option. I'm not going to lie, the pain is excruciating and during it I wished I were dead rather than live through the kicking… but seeing you now? Alive? It was all worth it. Because… losing you would be a pain more debilitating than _anything _else those assholes could have done to me." Tori insists firmly. I start crying at her words, unable to say anything.

"Wow… my daughter has a better understand of love than most people do." Mr. Vega sighs. "You're growing up… Try not to break too many bones for this girl, though. Okay? And Cat," He addresses me softly, "I know you'll do you best to keep her bones safe."

"Yes, sir." I whimper weakly. I'd dedicate my life to make sure Tori is safe and happy.

"Cat…" Tori whispers soothingly. "Our love conquers all."

"And I love you so much." I croak. I hope she's right. I really hope she's right.

* * *

In the morning, the doctor determined that my risk of opening my wound again was slight, so he ran an MRI on my head. The images determined that there had been small hemorrhaging in my brain which what was causing my dizziness and inability to balance, but it was clearing up nicely on its own. My head has a constant dull ache, and light and loud sounds still bother me, but I can stand up and walk without the world spinning around me now. On top of that, I don't need the sling anymore because my shoulder tendons are strong enough to keep it from dislocating again (as long as I'm careful for a while). So I got one of those plaster and fiberglass casts around my wrist. It's pink! I mean, I'd rather not have a broken wrist at all… but the pink helps.

With these changes and a bottle of pain medication for my injuries, the doctor informs me I can go home for resting and probably attend school the next day as long as I take it easy. Tori will have to stay a little longer, since she can barely move. The idea of going home is terrifying. Holly brought me some of Tori's clothes, since the ones I wore on the day of the attack were stained with blood. I really have to stop losing clothes to blood. After that, a nurse hands back some of my stuff the authorities gathered at the scene of the attack, including my phone and my mom's order from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I guess she'll be really wanting that, now. They also taught me how to change my bandages on my own, so I guess I'm all ready to be discharged. All I need now is to be picked up…

"Hey, nice pink cast." Tori smiles as me as I walk into her room to visit before I need to leave. "It really brings out the colour in your cheeks."

"Thanks, Tor." I giggle. "You look good today, too. You look better." I note.

"I guess it's the sponge baths." She blushes, smirking. I gape at her. I don't know why, but thinking of one of the nurses seeing her bare and putting a wet sponge over her gently… that stirs up some unpleasant feelings in the pit of my stomach. I guess my face shows it, because her eyes widen. "Oh my god! You're jealous!"

"Am not!" I insist, flushing.

"You totally are! I know that look." Tori smirks. I shift uncomfortably. She can't help but let out a raspy laugh, which she winces at. When she recovers, she gives me a smile. "Don't worry. I thought of you the entire time."

"Good." I grin. "Maybe someday I can take over for the nurse?"

"Maybe, like, right now." Tori looks at me with longing.

"Oookay, I'm not hearing any of this." Holly groans from the corner of the room. We whip our heads toward her.

"Oh, damnit. I forgot you were here. Sorry, mom." Tori sighs, embarrassed. Holly holds her hands up submissively.

"I get it. The whole world falls away when your girlfriend walks into the room. And what you do with sponges in your spare time is none of my business." Holly huffs, causing us to blush more.

"Right… well, regardless…" Tori mumbles. "Are you nervous? About going home…"

"Insanely." I sigh.

"If things get rough, go to my house, okay? Trina and dad will be more than willing to let you stay there." Tori assures me.

"Thanks, Tori." I smile slightly. It's sad that I'm so scared to go to my own house, but it makes me feel a little better knowing that the Vegas are giving me a safety net.

"Cat Valentine?" The voice of a nurse comes from the door of Tori's room. I turn to her. "Your father is here to pick you up."

I feel the blood leave my face. "Okay. Thank you." I mutter. The nurse smiles and leaves the doorway. I turn back to Tori, worry creasing my face.

"Honey… you'll be okay. Don't forget how strong you are." Tori states softly.

"Tori…" I breathe, going up to her bedside and leaning down for a soft kiss. I know she doesn't have the best lung capacity right now so I keep it short, but really I never want to stop. "Feel better, okay?"

"Working on it." Tori smiles.

"I'll walk you to your dad, if it'll make you feel better." Holly offers. I give her a nod.

"Yes. Thank you." I sigh. I give Tori one last longing and loving look before I leave her room. And I'm glad Tori's mom was with me when I saw my dad, because the way he looked at me was heart breaking.

It was as if I wasn't his daughter.

The car ride was silent. I wanted to turn on music to break the tension but I didn't even want to risk that. I felt like I was on really thin ice. When we got in the house, my mom was standing there by the kitchen. My dad walked past me and stood next to her as they looked at me. I shifted awkwardly for a moment before quickly running upstairs to my room. They didn't try to stop me, or talk to me about it. I heard them go off to work not long after.

The small consolation: my sheets still smell like Tori.

* * *

"Jade… you just drew scissors on my cast…" I point out the next day at school. We're all sitting at our usual table and I've been letting my friends sign my cast.

"Yeah. You know. So the doctors know where to cut when they take it off. Here. Dotted line." Jade explains, making a line of small dashes from the scissors up the cast.

"That and she really just wanted to draw scissors. Isn't that right, babe?" Beck states.

"Yep that too." Jade admits without any shame.

"So how are things with your parents?" Robbie asks.

"Way to be subtle, man." Andre mutters.

"What? Oh. Sorry. I guess that was kind of insensitive." Robbie mumbles, embarrassed.

"No, it's fine. I want to keep you guys updated." I sigh. They all lean in closely. "It's just been… tense. We haven't said a word to each other since I came home. At dinner, I ate maybe a couple bites before I couldn't take it and just took my food up to my room and ate it there. I had to change my bandages on my own without their help… I guess it's better than being yelled at, but… I just kind of wish they'd acknowledge me." I mutter.

"Man, that's rough, Lil Red." Andre says sympathetically.

"Anything we can do to help?" Beck asks.

"Like knock some sense into them?" Jade grumbles.

"Jade." Beck shoots.

"What? Clearly they need something to break through their close-mindedness." Jade snaps. Beck raises his hands calmly.

"I know. But maybe the idea of physical abuse isn't a very good one right after Cat just went through." He reasons. Jade lets out a sigh.

"You're right, babe. Sorry, Cat." She sighs.

"It's okay." I say.

"Hey girl, I know how you're feeling. Being a puppet, I get discriminated against all the time." Rex admits. "You just gotta ignore the haters because I pity them for not seeing the obvious truth that everybody is different which is what makes the world beautiful."

"Wow, Rex. That was really nice. Thank you." I smile.

"And if you ever want to talk about your problems with prejudice, you and your girlfriend are more than welcome to curl up with me…" Rex continues.

"Okay, that's it." Jade snarls, snatching Rex away and tossing him in a nearby trash bin.

"Hey!" Robbie cries. We stare at him for a moment. "...Yeah he deserved that." He sighs.

"I hope things get better for you." Andre says.

"Maybe they just need some more time to adjust. Remember, I wasn't exactly… supportive when I first heard about your feelings for Vega. But hey, I came around." Jade informs. I give her a big smile.

"You're right. Thanks. But I'm fine, really. I'm trying to be optimistic." I state. Jade eyes me suspiciously, but nods.

"Hey, Cat!" I hear Trina as she walks up to me. "Are you coming with me after school to see Tori?"

"Right after school?" I question.

"Do you think your parents will give you the chance otherwise?" Trina asks. I bite my lip. I really want to see Tori, but I don't want to go without asking my parents' permission and make things more tense. "Look, I need to drop off her homework, and honestly you never see it because you'd have to be out of the room… but when you're not there it's like all the energy is sucked out of her. She's in more pain than she lets on when you're with her. But when you're with her, she looks and acts like she can bear it. I'm not risking your parents not letting you go so my baby sis can miss out on some relief."

My mouth pops open, and I just nod slowly.

"Damn." Andre whispers.

"Great! So I'll meet you outside the school after the final bell?" Trina asks, oblivious to my sinking heart.

"Uh huh." I agree solemnly.

"Perfect. Later!" She exclaims, walking off. I slump down in my seat.

"Hey, you should be glad that you help her out that much." Jade comments.

"Yeah…" I mumble.

When I got to the hospital with Trina I wasted no time rushing to Tori's room. She brightened up when I came in, and I immediately kneeled on her bed and _very _carefully wrapped my arms around her neck, resting my cheek on top of her head. I feel her head shift slightly and her lips leave a kiss on my arm.

"Hey, you okay?" Tori asks softly.

"Yeah. Just missed you." I murmur.

"You're cute." She sighs.

"And freaking fast! Geez, you sure can move for a tiny, still-injured person." Trina pants, coming into the room breathless. She leaves a stack of papers on the table by the bed. Tori looks over my arms at it.

"Um, I've only been away from school for two days." Tori states.

"Welcome to the last semester of your senior year. You don't notice day by day, but if you miss a day it really piles up. Trust me, I know." Trina huffs. She stares at me for a moment. "Are you going to hold onto her forever?"

"If she'll let me." I mumble into the top of Tori's head.

"_Ugh _you're cute." Tori repeats, grinning. I pull my arms back, my casted hand resting on her shoulder while my good hand cups her cheek to gently turn her face towards me. My concerned eyes search her as she looks at me patiently.

"How much pain are you in, really?" I ask softly. Tori blinks at me and then glares at Trina.

"Trina. What'd you tell her?" Tori glowers. Trina looks at us with wide eyes before breaking into an overly-large smile.

"Haha, would you look at the time? I haven't checked the growth of my lip hair for a while! Have to stay on top of that. See ya!" Trina exclaims, dashing out of the room. Tori is still glaring at the dust cloud Trina practically left behind.

"Don't be mad at her. I'm glad she told me how you were really feeling. I need to know these things." I say firmly.

"But you _do _know these things." Tori sighs. "I haven't kept anything from you. I told you I'm in a lot of pain, but the drugs help. You know how Trina exaggerates things."

"So, you're not acting like you're better than you really are when I'm around?" I ask slowly. Tori closes her eyes, pillow sinking in slightly as she relaxes her head back into it. I wonder if her bed is ever flat or if it's always propped up like this.

"I'm not acting." Tori assures quietly, eyes opening again to look into mine. "I really do feel better when you're around. You're a great distraction from the pain."

"Oh. In that case I'm never leaving your side again until you're all better." I state. Tori lets out a short laugh.

"I wish." She murmurs. We're silent for a moment, watching each other. Eventually, she narrows her eyes slightly before she addresses me. "What about you? Are you bottling up anything? Any pain… any problems with your parents…"

"I-" I start to say, but my words catch in my throat right away and tears flood my eyes from nowhere before they start flowing freely down my face. My shoulders start shaking from the sobs that escape from between my lips and I clap my hand over my mouth trying to hold it in.

"Oh, honey…" Tori sighs. She moves slightly towards me but I can see the pain crease her face through my blurred vision. She settles for gently rubbing up and down my side with her hand. "Just let it out. It's just me. You can be upset…" She coos. Tori lets me cry for a while until I'm able to calm down and breathe. "So it's been bad?"

"That's just it…" I sniff. "It's been… nothing. I hate this waiting. I know they're going to talk to me about it eventually. And I know it's going to be bad… I just wish they'd get it over with. People keep telling me they'll come around, but I don't know. I don't know, Tori. I have a horrible feeling like I'm on the verge of losing my family."

Tori stares at me, looking with sympathy and slight confusion. "… I don't know what to say, Cat. I'm trying to find the words, but I can't. I can't tell you not to worry about it, because it's something to worry about. I can't tell you to wait out the storm, because I can tell you just want to face the storm head on. I don't know either, Cat. I'm useless for this one. Just know I'm here for you. And know that I love you. And know that no matter how this storm plays out, I'll still be there for you on the other side." She states softly, but then she furrows her brow. "Scratch that. I won't be on the other side, because I'll be way too busy carrying you through the entire thing whenever you need me to."

"God, how do you do that?" I huff.

"Do what?" Tori questions in confusion.

"Just… always say the right thing. Like exactly what I need to hear." I mutter. Tori gives a small smile.

"I try to play it by ear. Improv with Sikowitz seems to have taught me well." She states.

"Mmm." I sigh, leaning my forehead against hers. "That, and you're the sweetest, most understanding person I know. You… you get me, which is amazing because a lot of the time I don't even get myself."

Tori's smile widens as she wipes away some of the leftover tears on my face. "You're someone worth figuring out."

"Tori… if my parents can't accept what an amazing part of my life you are, then I guess they're missing out on an amazing future daughter-in-law. More of you for me, I guess." I sigh.

"Daughter-in-law, huh?" Tori smirks. My face drops, a blush creeping into my face.

"I don't… I just… I'm sorry that just slipped out. I mean, I'm not even thinking about marriage I was just…"

"Shh…" Tori chuckles, cupping my face with both hands. "Did I mention that you're cute?"

"A few times." I blush.

"Well I'll say it again. You're cute." Tori pulls my face in to leave a kiss on my lips. "And beautiful." She murmurs before another kiss. She begins giving me a kiss between every compliment. "And resilient. And kind. And caring. And comforting. And amazing in bed…"

"Tori!" I giggle. She grins at me.

"Yeah, I'm sure Cat is amazing at sleeping." Trina drawls from the doorway. "God, you guys make my sugar levels rise way above the legal limit." She scoffs. Tori groans, flopping her hands down from my face as I pull away.

"I've decided that apparently hitting on you somehow summons my family members." Tori grumbles.

* * *

I walk into my house quietly, not really looking in before I turn to slowly shut the door. I was at the hospital with Tori for two hours – a noticeable amount of time to not be home after school. I turn and see both of my parents standing in the front hall, giving me hard looks. I stand straight up, giving them a plain look back. I honestly expected it to be like this when I got back, so I'm not surprised.

"Where have you been?" My mom interrogates. I raise my eyebrows slightly.

"What? You're talking to me now? I thought you wouldn't notice seeing as you've been ignoring me ever since I got back from the hospital." I mutter darkly. I didn't actually expect to give her attitude, but I guess my emotions are still bubbling to the surface.

"Don't sass your mother, Caterina." My dad scolds, taking a step closer. "Where were you?"

"I was at the hospital." I state.

"Visiting Tori?" My dad asks.

"Yep." I confirm.

"Well that needs to stop." My mom glowers.

"You're not to see that girl anymore. I'm sorry but this is for your own good." My dad adds.

"You can't force me to do anything." I comment. My dad's face goes a little red.

"Caterina, we are your parents and we _forbid _you from seeing the Vega girl anymore." He orders.

"We're even thinking of transferring you to a new performing arts school to finish off your year." My mom says. I give them a long look.

"Okay."

"Okay?" My dad looks surprised.

"Yeah, okay. I acknowledge that you forbid me from seeing Tori to the point of asking me to switch schools." I sigh, starting to walk past them.

"…But that doesn't mean you agree." My dad says slowly.

"Not a chance." I mumble, quickly heading up the stairs.

"Caterina Valentine! You will listen to us!" My mom snaps. But I'm already locked into my room, and they don't bother me for the rest of the night. I don't even leave to get dinner. I feel like a stranger in my own home, and I hate it. I reach over to my bedside table and hug the picture of me and Tori close to my chest. I shut my eyes tight, knowing that this is only the beginning.

And I'm right.

The next night, my parents don't say anything when I come home late after visiting the hospital. Tori's doing well. They've said scans of her abdomen show that she's no longer in the danger zone when it comes to internal bleeding, and her nose has set well and the colour is coming back to her face quickly. The pin put in her leg during surgery also seems to be holding strong, and x-rays showed there's no complications so it's just a waiting game. They're slightly concerned about nerve damage, since a blow with a metal rod strong enough to crack her femur was also strong enough to slice through her skin to the bone. I nearly threw up when I heard that. But they're confident any nerve damage can be fixed through laser surgery – it just means a longer recovery process. There's nothing they can do about her ribs other than wait for the body to go through its natural healing process, but pretty soon she'll be strong enough to expand her chest on her own without the help of that breathing tube. So, overall, they expect to send her home to recover there sometime next week. Good. I can tell she's getting sick of the hospital.

I'm sitting in my room copying notes for Tori when I hear my parents call me down. I freeze, debating whether or not to actually obey. But Tori was right. I'm ready to face the storm head on. I can't be childish about this… this is about my family and about who I truly, deeply love. I need to fight for both. I'm going to come out of this with at least one, one way or another.

I slowly descend the stairs and head into the living room where my parents are sitting. My dad gestures toward the recliner chair, and I sit down, shifting my eyes. Gosh I feel vulnerable. They sit there silently for a moment. I'm about to explode. I hate this waiting.

"So, Cat…" My mom starts. My eyes snap up to her and I bite my lip. "Your father and I talked."

"Yes, and we decided that this… this homosexuality isn't your fault." My dad states. For a moment, my heart swells with hope. Did they realize I was born like this? That my love for Tori isn't unnatural?

"Really?" I ask.

"Yes, honey." My mom sighs. "It was wrong of us to be angry at you."

"Thank you." I quiver. I'm going to cry. It's going to be okay after all!

"But we want you to know what we're going to get you help." My dad adds. And… my heart plummets.

"…What?" I stare.

"Cat, we know it must be so hard to trust men after what happened to you. I can't believe we didn't see it before. You must think that girls are your only option after you were scorned… but we can show you that it doesn't have to be that way." My mom says sympathetically. I just stare at her.

"Some men are good, and willing to love you the way you deserve." My dad adds. "We've looked into it, and there's plenty of specialists you can see who will go through steps with you to forget this homosexuality business and start to lead life as naturally intended."

"You can start to feel normal again." My mom sniffs.

"…_What_?" I repeat incredulously. "What are you even talking about?"

"We're talking about the rape and how that obviously… affected you in more ways than just touching. It's okay. We understand. And we will get you help." My dad mutters. I shake my head.

"No, no you don't understand _at all-_" I start.

"Now, Cat, listen. We're just trying to help." My mom explains.

"You can't help me! And even if you could… I don't want to be helped." I state. I give a hard look to my dad. "And I was gay _long _before the rape."

"But that doesn't make any sense." My dad sighs. I stand up, glaring.

"Then do some research! Use a thing called Google!" I snap. My dad stands up as well.

"I _have _done research. And know what I figured out? Maybe all these terrible things this year that happened to you have something to do with your homosexuality. The earthquake, the attack on the weekend – and if you were considering homosexuality even before the rape like you say, then we might as well include the rape as well as when you were trapped in Yerba. Perhaps even what happened to your brother." My dad growls. I gawk at him.

"We're just trying to protect you." My mom sighs. And now I gawk at her.

"_Protect me_? You are NOT pegging anything that happened to me on Tori! **Especially **what happened to my brother! How is it even possible that my sexuality would have _anything _to do with what's happened to me?!" I snap.

"The universe has its ways of rejecting unnatural practices that happen within it. So far, you've only received clear warnings. It's only a matter of time before your choices get you killed and neither your mother or I want that." My dad fumes.

"_Oh my god_! Is that what you really believe?" I gasp. My dad nods slowly. "Well, this is what I believe. Maybe the _universe _put me and Tori together specifically this year to help me through it. Because god knows I wouldn't have survived the way I have if it wasn't for her."

"I think you have it backwards." My mom comments.

"As grateful as we are that you were able to pull through everything, it's only going to get worse from here on out." My dad reasons. "So, please, stop being stubborn and listen to us."

"Listen to _me_! You have no idea how I feel, there's no way you can because you were both born straight. But I can love Tori and she can love me just as well as any other heterosexual couple can. And it's the most _natural feeling in the world. _Please… as my parents… listen to me." I plead, tears filling my eyes. My mom lets out a frustrated huff.

"I'm trying to understand but I can't. It can't be natural. Males and females biologically go together, to populate and reproduce. You can't do that, and I think you should cut this out before it goes too far…" She warns. And I feel something snap inside me. I've reached my breaking point, and I just don't care anymore.

"Well for your information, Tori and I already made love and it was freaking **fantastic**." I spit. My mom teeters like she's about to faint while my dad's face goes redder than I've ever seen it before.

"Is this true?" My dad trembles, trying to stay calm.

"**Yes**." I state firmly.

"Caterina, do you have _any _idea what you've done?!" My dad shouts. I wince at the noise.

"Nothing you and mom haven't done." I scoff.

"Yes, but we can naturally reproduce to create you and your brother…" My mom explains weakly, still looking faint.

"Oh, yes, because I'm sure that's the only reason you and dad have had sex. Believe me, I've been there with Tori and it was absolutely _phenomenal. _And not because it felt good, but because I love and trust her so much." I fume. "Way better than the time I had straight sex with a guy… oh wait, _he raped me_." I spit.

"Cat, stop this nonsense." My mom snaps.

"And another thing! Maybe Tori and I can't naturally have a child, but we can sure as anything adopt someday. Orphanages are overfilling with children that irresponsible heterosexual couples had - but couldn't take care of - that Tori and I could raise and care for so much together. Can either of you explain to me **how** that's a bad thing?!" I glare.

"Because. A relationship like yours and Tori's is not ideal and that child would never be able to be raised properly enough without a mother and father figure." My dad explains.

"Again, do your research. There is _zero _proof that a homosexual couple can't raise a child as effectively as a heterosexual couple." I state. "I mean, you think my homosexuality is an abomination… yet you're a mother and father. Where did you go wrong?"

"I have heard **enough**!" My dad shouts, slamming his hand down on a table. "Me and your mother are **trying **to help you! Just like any parent with a child that has a deformation!" He growls. My throat catches at that. "But if you're not willing to help yourself, I don't know what to do. I can't sit idly by while you live your life in such a way. No child who lives under my house will be gay, and **that's that**!" He declares. Every hint of rage in me melts away in that moment.

"Well I can't change, even if I tried." I tremble. He stares at me, tears in his eyes.

"Then I can't handle being your father." My dad says quietly. My heart stops.

"Dad… dad, you don't mean that. Sometimes… sometimes when you get upset, you say things you don't mean. Just like when you were mad at me during the night terrors, remember? I'm still your daughter, I just love someone with the same parts as me… please, you can't just…" I whimper. I look at my mom for help, who is pale and silent for a moment.

"I'm… afraid he's right. We discussed this outcome, and we can't bear to see someone we love live their life with such a vile lifestyle. It might be best… if you find somewhere else to stay for a while. And when you find your homosexual choices don't turn out the way you wanted, we'll be here to welcome you back with open arms." My mom says weakly. I stare at them both, time slowing down as I process their words.

"You're my parents…" I mutter.

"And we tried our best." My dad mumbles. More silence.

"…Fine." I state, turning on my heel before I head up the stairs. My hands shake as I dial the number for the cab and my voice shakes even more as I give the company my address. I would take my bike again, but my bags will be a lot more heavy this time. I quickly throw most of my wardrobe into my suitcase and anything else I'll need to stay somewhere long term. My brain is still processing everything as I head down the stairs. I open the front door to see the cab, and I turn to see my parents standing in the front hall, looking pretty torn up.

"Last chance to reconsider." My mom whispers.

"Same to you." I say back. We stand there, staring. Nobody moves. I shut my eyes tight and bite back my tears as I turn into the outside, not even bothering to shut the door or say goodbye. Part of me hopes they'll see me leaving and change their minds, calling out to me to tell me to stop and that they love me and they'll always love me. But they don't.

I continue to bite back my tears the entire cab ride, and then even still as I walk up the driveway of my destination with my suitcase. I rap on the door softly. So soft, I don't think it was loud enough for anyone to hear me. I try again, and I hear some movement on the inside before the door is pulled open. Trina stands there, confusedly looking at me and my giant suitcase.

"Uh…" She starts, but then I burst out crying, unable to hold in my overwhelming sobs any longer. "Whoa! Holy crap, are you okay?"

"Can – can I stay here for a-awhile?" I sob out. She gives me a pitying look as she starts to understand.

"Of course. Come in." Trina sighs, putting an arm gently around me to lead me in. "Dad! We have a guest…"

* * *

**Author's Notes: Ugh, that last part was so hard to write... You might think Cat's parents' reactions are unrealistic in this day and age, but you'd be surprised... Either way, I wish for acceptance for every LGBTQ person out there. Being rejected by your family? That's one of the worst things to deal with, and I can sympathize. On a much lighter note, at least Cat has the Vegas for her. Not sure if you noticed, but I've been setting them up for the past while to "take over" as Cat's family. Plus she has her friends... Cat still has family that loves her. I wonder how her brother would react? Maybe you'll find out next chapter...**

**I have no idea when the next chapter will be posted. I guess, whenever I complete it (which won't take long, I promise! I finished this in two days). So, in the meantime, let me know what you thought! I still love your words... and I'm almost at 100 reviews dfsfdhgjhgsdsadjj CRAZY! And in these last few chapters... the reviews will mean that much more! What a long journey this has been together. **

**Fun Fact: Obviously, the title of this chapter (and a line by Cat) is a reference to "Same Love" by Macklemore. If you haven't heard that song yet, get on it. It has a beautiful message no matter what genre of music you're into. Furthermore, Tori's rant about un-accepting parents is based off a youtuber from my neck of the woods called IIsuperwomanII and her video "People Are Gay!?" Really funny girl, really cool video. Check it before you wreck it! I'm not cool. I know. **


	28. Opportunities

**Author's Note: I'M SO SORRY. I didn't expect it to take this long, but I ended up being very busy and I wasn't at home so I couldn't write! And then when I was home, I was way too tired to effectively write and I decided I couldn't sacrifice quality in order to get the chapter out sooner. But hey, now it's out! Yaaaay. **

**Disclaimer: Know what's not fun to own? A bad collarbone sunburn and heat exhaustion from 100 degree weather. Know what is fun to own? Victorious. I only own one of these things. Guess which one. Go on, guess.**

* * *

"Can I get you anything?"

"No thank you, Cat. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" I try to confirm softly. "I could get you more ice, or I could make you a sandwich… or, ooh! A fruit smoothie?"

"Cat." Tori laughs. "_You're_ supposed to be the guest here. I should be offering those things to you. And I'm still digesting the chicken broth you got me earlier."

"But you're not in any state to be a host. I want to take care of you." I pout, brushing a strand of her hair back. We're in her room, and she's propped up on a bunch of pillows on her bed so that she's sitting up straight. Apparently it puts less stress on her chest for breathing. She's been home for about two days now, and I've been living with the Vegas for about a week. It's a real struggle for Tori to move, so she needs a lot of care by me and her family – which is making Tori feel guilty.

"I know. And you're a big help. I know Trina and dad are grateful for your help, seeing as my mom lives with Gary and can only come by sometimes, and then my dad is at work, and Trina is just… Trina. So, as much as I hate to put you out… I'm also really grateful for your help." Tori sighs. "Even if the circumstances of you living with us aren't the best."

"Yeah." I frown, feeling a catch in my throat. Don't get me wrong, I love living with the Vegas. Trina is endlessly entertaining and Mr. Vega is very kind even though his knowledge around a kitchen is limited (I've been cooking them dinner every night as thanks, which they seem to appreciate). Now, I get to spend almost every waking moment with the girl I love. It's a pretty great setup, but…

"I'm sorry." Tori mutters. "It must be hard to think about."

"Sometimes." I admit, averting my eyes. "Sometimes I'm relieved that I don't have to deal with them judging me and that I'm better off without them if they can't accept me. And then sometimes I remember they're my parents, and I-" My throat catches again and I swallow hard.

"Honey…" Tori sighs. She weakly opens her arms. "Come here."

I snuggle into her gently, careful not to push against her chest. I rest my head on her shoulder while she strokes my back. "I still have you." I breathe.

"Always." Tori murmurs.

"Feeling better than yesterday?" I ask.

"Now that I'm more settled in, yeah. I'm just glad to be out of the hospital. I'm _not _looking forward to the next time I need to go the washroom, though. This leg does not make that trek easy." Tori groans.

"Tell me about it." I smile, remembering the last time where it took the combination of me, Trina and Mr. Vega to get her there and back. That was nothing compared to getting her up the stairs, though.

"Hopefully I can figure out my crutches soon. I mean, I can't really use them because of my ribs… If I use my crutches, I can move but I can't breathe. Such a conundrum." Tori grumbles. I move my head to look at her.

"Hey, at least your nose is pretty much good to go." I smile. Her nose is still a bit swollen and according to her it throbs to put any pressure on it, but her face looks back to normal otherwise.

"Mmm, good. Do you think I'm pretty again?" Tori teases.

"You never stopped being pretty." I roll my eyes. "You're the only girl I know who can rock a broken nose."

"Liar." She smirks. I grin back before checking my phone. I slowly lean off her.

"Okay, time for a deep breath. Come on." I urge. She lets out a small groan.

"Caaat, you know how much it hurts." Tori whines.

"I know, sweetheart. But the doctor said you have to take a deep breath every hour to help fight infection." I lecture.

"Fine." She mumbles. She hesitates for a moment before taking a large gulp of air and she hisses it out with her face scrunched in pain. I leave a gentle kiss on her lips once she's done.

"Good girl." I murmur.

"Do I get a treat?" She whimpers. I smile and lean in for another kiss. I linger longer than usual, and her hands slink up into my hair, holding my head to her. I rest my injured hand gently on her side while I prop myself over her with the other hand, deepening the kiss. We haven't really kissed like this since the attack, and it shows. And I just want to feel her lips on mine more than ever right now. And I want to feel her lips on my neck, and I want to feel her hands flat on my stomach and on my chest. And I want to feel her against me and… and… I want _her_.

I moan lightly into her mouth and she slips her tongue in to meet mine. I feel her tense as her breathing quickens and her hands become more frantic as she runs her fingers down my back, and the motion encourages me to push up closer against her. I throw my leg over her good leg and move my hand to the skin poking out above her waist line. I graze my fingers up over her skin into her shirt and her hand grabs the back of my neck as she lets out a small gasp. Her hand on my back wraps around to my chest and cups my breast, kneading into me slightly. I let out a cross between a gasp and a moan when the action causes that warm tingle up my spine and a slight ache between my legs. I involuntarily thrust forward and into her, which… dumb idea.

"Agh!" She hisses as I collapse over, clutching the source of the sharp pain in my side due to the sudden twisting and stretching. Tori's hands go to the top of her thigh and she shakes as her head rolls back, face filled with pain. She lets out a couple shuddered gasps which just gives her more pain. We ride out our individual shocks of pain until we feel it's safe enough to move again.

"Are you… okay?" I pant. I'm lying curled up on my side beside her. She looks weakly over to me, tears in her eyes.

"Y-yeah… you?" Tori asks. "You didn't open your wound, did you?"

I pull up my shirt slightly and peel back the bandage which is now just a large patch rather than a wrap of gauze and cotton. The nasty-looking, two inch cut looks red and sore, but it isn't open. I let out a breath and fold the patch back onto my skin. I hope the adhesive is still sticky enough.

"I'm all good." I state, propping my head up on my left hand. "So I think it's safe to say we're _not _ready for that."

"Ugh." Tori huffs. "No kidding."

"Hopefully soon we'll be well enough. There's been some things I want to try." I sigh.

"You're killing me." Tori groans. "At least you got to give me a sponge bath yesterday."

"That was fun." I smile as Tori flushes.

"You were way better than that nurse." Tori chuckles. I run my tongue over my teeth.

"Did you moan for her like you did for me?" I coo. She closes her eyes tightly.

"Not even close." She shudders. "Okay, we need to stop talking like this."

"Kay, kay." I giggle, pecking her on the cheek before lying down again and cuddling up against her good leg. I rest my broken wrist on her upper leg and make small circles with my finger on top of her thigh. I feel her hand gently run through my hair in a comforting fashion, and I close my eyes in contentment. Yeah, I'm sad I have to wait a while before I can make love to my girlfriend again, but I can wait. There's more to us than sex, and these quiet moments are part of it. Eventually, she breaks the silence.

"Cat, I'm sorry." Tori chokes out. Her voice is wavering as if on the verge of tears, which makes me concerned.

"Tori… don't worry about it. We've waited before, we can wait again." I assure her.

"No… no, not that." She mutters.

"Then what?" I ask, curious.

"That… you're here. That you're not with your family. I can't help but feel… responsible." Tori trembles. I raise my head gently to look up at her. A few stray tears had already made their way down her cheeks as she looks at me, filled with guilt.

"Oh, Tori… you didn't make my parents close-minded." I sigh.

"I know, but from what you told me… Remember when we first started dating and you told me about your parents' homophobia? I told you I didn't want to get between you and your family… but I grew selfish once I realized I couldn't bear to not have you as my girlfriend. I… I should've done more to sustain your relationship with your parents. I shouldn't have put you in a position to make the choice between me and them…" Tori sniffs.

"_They _made me make the choice. Not you. And when it came down to it… I chose you. I… I love my parents, even now. Part of me wishes I could hate them, but even I could see that - although motivated by the wrong reasons - they really just cared about my well-being. That makes this harder. I miss them, I want them back in my life… but they pushed me out, and I can't change for them or anybody. You wouldn't push me out like they did… so when I had to make a decision, I didn't even have to think about it." I explain softly, leaning up to touch her cheek. "You were the obvious choice."

"Cat…" Tori mumbles, looking down. "Thank you. But I still feel bad… I feel bad that our relationship means the lack of one between you and your parents. I promised myself a long time ago I would do anything to make sure you stayed the happiest girl alive, but I couldn't keep you from separating from your family…"

"Tori, you put way too much pressure on yourself." I scold gently. "Believe me, I want to keep you away from the bad things in life, too. But that's impossible. The best we can do is just be there for each other when the bad things do happen. This… this is a bad thing. A really bad thing. It'll take me a while to be able to move on from being disowned by my own parents – if I ever move on from that. But I have you, and that already makes it a bit better. So, our relationship isn't the reason I lost the one I had with my parents… our relationship is the reason I'm not totally breaking down right now without my family. You, and your family. I can't express how grateful I am to all of you." I murmur, stroking over her hairline.

"And I'm here for you. Just let me know if you need anything else from me. I don't care how injured I am, if you need something then consider it done. I will crawl to your parents' house to beg them to understand if you needed me to." Tori states.

"I think that would scare them." I giggle, and then I let out a sigh. "I don't want you near them, though. So, promise you won't do that? I just… I can't imagine what they'd say to you after what they said to me. They aren't willing to listen. Trust me."

"Fine… I promise. It's probably for the best that I stay away from them as well. I have a few choice words for them. I can't believe they said you had a deformation." Tori mutters darkly. I kiss her lightly on the cheek.

"It hurts, but I still have hope. The Valentines have been through rough times before and gotten through it. I know that happy family who used to spend days in the park by the lake is still there, somewhere. They have to remember that. They can't be willing to let that go, because I know I'm not. But unfortunately, I said all I could. It's up to them, now. I'll wait." I sigh.

"I love you." Tori says suddenly. I raise my eyebrows in surprise but then I smile sweetly.

"I love you, too." I whisper. She puts and arm around me and I snuggle into her side, head on her shoulder. Another quiet moment. "Don't feel bad anymore."

"I'll try." She mutters. "When you hurt, I hurt. Remember?"

"Mhm. I remember." I sigh. "Thank you for shouldering some of my pain."

"Of course. Thank you for shouldering some of mine." Tori murmurs. "…Want to help me shoulder a bit more?"

I look up at her, concerned. "Why? What's wrong?"

She bites her lip. "I… need to go to the washroom."

"Oh."

* * *

I've been living with the Vegas for about three weeks now. It's the beginning of April and Trina found it really funny to spend April 1st screaming that Tori fell down the stairs or hurt herself in some way or another. Of course I'd believe it every time and come running, nearly crying. What if it had been true that one time? Tori always yelled at her for making me cry and then consoled me. Truth is, Tori's gotten very good at getting around in a short amount of time. As long as she has something to hang off of (usually me), she can hobble her way through the house. It's still a struggle and takes a long time, so the hospital rented her a wheelchair for school since crutches still aren't ideal. At first she was really embarrassed about it. I mean, she has to be pushed around with her leg sticking straight out. She said she felt like a battering ram. Silly. After a while she got used to it, and Andre made it better by attaching a skateboard to the back and pushed them both down the hall… much to my concern. I may have taken a turn, though. Maybe.

I'm lying downstairs on the couch. This is where I sleep, just to make it less awkward for the other people living in the house. Before Tori came home I slept in her bed, but I could see the relief on Mr. Vega's face when I announced I would take the couch once she was back home. I know he was uncomfortable with the idea. I'm okay with taking the couch, honestly. Just because we live with each other, doesn't mean we have to… "live with each other". Does that make sense? I know living together is a huge step in a relationship. Although I enjoy seeing my girlfriend so often, I was kind of forced into the situation and Tori and I's relationship has been all about taking it slow. I'd hate to suddenly speed up to living together all at once. So, at the end of the day I can just go down to the couch as if I'm going home to sleep.

Despite this, there are still some nights where I end up sleeping in Tori's bed next to her anyway. It's usually because we just stay up talking so long that we just lose track of time and fall asleep. Sometimes it's because I'm having a particularly hard time and I just want to have her near. Tonight is one of those nights.

_Hey, you asleep?_ I send her a text. I don't want to barge up there without checking with her first to see if she's asleep or wants to be alone. I don't want to disturb her sleep because the body heals faster when asleep.

_Nope. What's up?_ She sends back, so she's not asleep.

_Could I spend tonight with you? I can't sleep. _I reply.

_Yes, love. Come on up._

I smile at the use of the pet name we had picked up for each other after confessing our love to each other. Sweetheart, honey or hun, and love. Those were the names we used for each other in particularly intimate or sensitive moments, and they warm my heart as much as if she had said my name. I grab Mr. Purple and I head quietly up to her room, careful not to wake anyone else. I push over her door and sidle in to see her outline sitting up and waiting for me. I close over the door and crawl into the bed on her right side so I don't have to worry about bumping her bad leg. She gingerly puts an arm around me and I snuggle up to her.

"So, tell me what's on your mind." Tori yawns. Deep breaths are a lot easy for her now, luckily.

"Aren't you tired?" I ask.

"Yes. I was actually sleeping when you texted me." She reveals.

"What?!" I gasp. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry I woke you up!" I frown.

"Cat, I leave my notification sound on at night just in case you ever text me in the middle of the night. I want to wake up if you need me." Tori sighs.

"Wha… really?" I question.

"Mhm. Been doing so for the past year." She admits. I feel myself swoon.

"Aw, Tori… I … You… You're just so sweet." I mutter.

"I have to keep up with you somehow." Tori chuckles. I shake my head, smiling. "Now, talk to me. Tell me what's keeping you up tonight."

"We can wait until morning if you're tired." I say.

"Nope. I'm not dipping off to dreamland until you tell me what's going on in your pretty little head." Tori taps me gently on top of my head, making me giggle. "Spill."

"Kay, kay." I sigh. "Well, I was lying downstairs and then I remembered… next weekend my parents are going to go visit my brother."

"And they'll probably not ask you to go." Tori mumbles, reading my thoughts.

"Yeah." I quiver. "I love my brother, before and after the accident. Even if he was a little frustrating at times, he made me laugh and I think some of the time he even did silly things on purpose just to make me laugh."

"I'm sure he loves you too, Cat." Tori murmurs. I nod slightly.

"I have no idea what his views are on homosexuality. He's kind of unpredictable. Maybe my parents already taught him to hate it before the accident. I don't know." I ponder.

"Your brother was a genius though, right? If your parents did teach him that, then maybe he was smart enough to realize it's not wrong on his own." Tori theorizes.

"Maybe. Either way, he'll want to know why his little sister isn't visiting him two months in a row. I wonder what they'll tell him? They might dodge the complicated topic of explaining why they disowned me because I have an evil tendency to fall in love with a girl and they'll just tell him I died or something." I glower.

"Don't say that." Tori sighs, kissing my temple.

"They might though. I don't want them telling my brother the wrong thing. Even if he does hate me like my parents do, I at least want him to know the truth." I mutter. "But above all, I just want to see him. Even one more time."

"Then go see him. This week. Before your parents see him." Tori states.

"Really? But how?" I ask, filling with hope.

"I'll figure it out, I promise." Tori assures me.

"You're the best…" I coo.

"Feel better?" She asks.

"Yeah, a bit."

"Think you can fall asleep?"

"Mhm." I murmur, snuggling into her neck and already feeling my eyes get heavy.

"Then I'll see you in the morning." She whispers, just as I drift off to sleep.

The next day she's having me push her through the hallways of Hollywood Arts.

"Tori, what are you looking for?" I huff after pushing her around the school in a circle three times.

"Something you never want to find." Tori mutters, craning her head to look around. I raise my eyebrow, but then something changes in Tori. "Ah! There it is!" She points toward Jade, who looks over and glares.

"'It', huh? That's a lot coming from someone reduced to a wheel-barrel." Jade drawls.

"Whatever. I need you to do me a favour." Tori claims as I push her up to Jade. Jade raises her eyebrow.

"And why, exactly, would I do _you a_ favour?" Jade asks.

"Because it's for Cat." Tori says. Jade looks at me and I shrug, making her look back down at Tori.

"Fine. What?" Jade sighs. My heart soars at what Tori says next.

"I need you to take her to see her brother."

* * *

"So, tell me again why Vega couldn't do this herself ?" Jade grumbles, an hour into our drive to the facility.

"She has a broken leg. She can't drive." I explain.

"Sorry excuse. It's her left leg that's broken and she pushes the pedals with her right." Jade scoffs.

"She can't bend her leg! She can't even fit in front seat. She always has to lie in the back of the car with her leg up." I pout.

"Well what about her annoying sister?" Jade interrogates. I shrug at that.

"Probably because she'd have to owe Trina something, but she knew you'd help me out without asking for anything in return." I grin. Jade is silent, not denying it. After a moment, she speaks again.

"She could have at least come along. Isn't this important to you?" Jade asks in a low voice.

"Tori wanted to come, but she has to do rehearsal for Musical Theatre class." I explain. Tori can't do any of the choreography, so we figured out a solution. We decided our final project for the class would be doing a version of "13 The Musical", in which Tori plays a gender-swapped version of Archie. Now the character's name is Addie. The choreography with crutches is still complicated, however, so she has to spend some extra time working on it to make sure it's safe. We thought the musical was a good choice, too, because it's all about growing up and going into high school and now we're leaving it. It seems so familiar for me, for some reason. "But yes, it's important."

"Isn't your brother crazy?" Jade asks

"Yep!"

"Well, you're dedicated to your family I'll give you that." Jade sighs.

"I have to be. I don't really have any left right now." I mutter. Jade is silent again. "Sorry, that sounded pathetic."

"No, what you're doing right now and how you've reacted thus far shows a lot of strength. My father left me years ago and I still can't face that with a smile on my face." Jade says. "I don't know how she did it, but Vega _actually _helped give you a backbone without changing your perky demeanor."

I grin and blush as we continue along the road. Eventually, we arrive at the facility and Jade follows me inside to the front desk. The staff member looks up and smiles.

"Oh, hi Cat! I thought you and your parents were coming on the weekend." She notes.

"Um, yeah. My parents are still coming then. I just came early." I explain.

"And do your parents know you're here?" She asks.

"Yep." I lie.

"Alright then." The lady says, shuffling around behind her desk.

"How is he today?" I ask.

"Hard to say. He's been shut up in his room a lot lately and wouldn't let anyone come in and see him. Then we discovered he stole one of the facilities laptops – after he returned it. Today he was bouncing off the walls happy. He's still as random as usual." She recounts. I see Jade raise an eyebrow.

"Well, happy is good, right?" I ask.

"I hope so." The lady sighs, pulling out a tag with a string around it. "Here's your nametag and pass."

"Thank you." I say, taking it.

"I'll let them know you're here and they'll bring your brother out into the meeting area." The lady states, picking up a phone.

"And what about me?" Jade asks. The lady holds her hand over the receiver.

"And you are?" She questions.

"Jade West. A friend." Jade states.

"Oh, I'm sorry, only family are allowed inside." The lady says.

"In that case I'm a cousin." Jade mutters. The lady raises her eyebrow and Jade lets out a huff. "Fine. Are there any mental patients I can actually talk to? Any psychopaths?"

"Uh, some might be in the courtyard… No psychopaths, though. Just some dementia patients." She answers.

"Can I poke them?"

"Jade!" I whine.

"Whatever. Text me when you're done. I'm gonna go talk me up some crazy people outside!" Jade exclaims, sauntering off. I stare at her and then meet eyes with the lady.

"Does she belong here?" She asks.

"You said that about me when I first visited, too." I grin.

"True." She smiles. "Oh, yes, Cat Valentine's here… okay. Thanks." She hangs up the phone. "Your brother will see you now."

"Kay, kay." I smile. I head to the security door, swiping the barcode through the sensor to get through. I head into the meeting room just as my brother is brought in by staff members. He looks absent minded as he shuffles a comic book in his hands. He looks up and I smile at him, and he gets a big grin on his face.

"Kitten!" He exclaims. He's called me that since we were very young. The accident didn't erase that.

"Hey, you goof!" I smile, running up and giving him a big hug. He's much taller than me so he lifts me up off the ground, making me wince at the pain in my side and the anxiety of being touched. Despite this, I still giggle. He quickly puts me down.

"Oh. Right. I was told not to do that anymore." He mutters.

"You forget every time." I chuckle, touching his arm. "It's okay. I'm a lot better now. You can pick me up if you don't hold on too long."

"Alrighty." He smiles goofily. "Your hand is pink."

"Yeah, I got hurt but I'm getting better. Maybe you can sign my cast before I leave?" I suggest.

"Okay!" He smiles, and then looks around. "Where are mom and dad?"

"Um," I bite my lip. "Come sit down."

"Alrighty." He repeats, following me to the table. I pull out a chair for him and he flops down, spinning his comic book absentmindedly. I sit across from him.

"Okay… I don't know how to say this…" I breathe.

"Oh, that's easy, Kitten! You just open your mouth and make sounds! See?" He points to his mouth as he starts making strange noises. I give him a solemn look and he stops. "Not funny today?"

"No, no that was very funny." I smile, letting out a short laugh. He grins in response. "But I have something very serious to talk about."

"Me too!" He exclaims.

"Oh, really?" I question.

"Yep." He holds out the flimsy paper pages in front of me. "This book!"

"I don't really read comics." I sigh. He frowns at that.

"You should. You'll never know what's inside." He chuckles, pushing it in front of me. I look down at it.

"I'll… look at it in a bit, okay?" I say, touching his hand. "I have to talk to you about mom and dad."

"Where are they?" He asks again.

"Not here. I came alone." I answer.

"…But why?" He furrows his brow, struggling with the idea.

"Well, I won't be able to come see you with them anymore." I mutter. "I'll still try to come and see you as much as I can, but you'll have to see me and them separately."

"That doesn't make sense." He groans, holding his head and shaking it. "Is it because I did something bad? I haven't tried to visit my friends at the zoo for a long time…"

"No! No, sweetie. It's nothing you did. Mom and dad… they just don't like me very much right now so we're taking some… time apart." I say slowly. He blinks at me.

"But why won't mom and dad like Kitten? Did _you _visit my friends at the zoo?" He asks. I bite my lip, trying to choose my next words carefully.

"No… um, do you know what homosexuality means? Or being gay?" I ask. He wrinkles his nose at the words. That's not a good sign. Maybe my parents already taught him to hate homosexuality…

"Why is Kitten quizzing me? I asked you questions first." He pouts.

"I know, I'm trying to answer. I just want to know if you know what those words mean." I explain.

"George is gay. He's a man here, and he loves other men." He answers, looking proud. I nod.

"Yes, and it's the same with girls… where if you're a girl, you like other girls…" I state quietly.

"So are mom and dad gay?" He asks, wide eyed.

"No… I am." I mumble.

"So why are mom and dad mad at you?" He asks. I look up at him, my eyes searching. He almost looks serious.

"Because they don't like that I'm in love with a girl… They think it's wrong, so they don't want me around anymore." I whisper, tears stinging my eyes. He stares at me for a second, and then bursts out into a cackle.

"Kitten! Don't make jokes!" He laughs.

"I'm not joking!" I shout, stopping his laugh in its tracks. I shake my head. "Sorry. But I'm being really serious. I'm not living with them anymore because they don't like that I'm gay."

"…But that's so silly. Did you kill anybody?" He asks softly.

"No."

"Then what's the problem?" He laughs again.

"I… I don't know. They just don't like me if I'm gay, and don't want to be my parents anymore." I tremble. He looks at me again with a hint of seriousness.

"You're not kidding?" He asks.

"I'm afraid not." I frown. He thinks for a second.

"Are you still my sister?" He questions.

"Yes, of course. Always have, always will be. Nothing's changed about me, just that I'm in love with someone who happens to be a girl." I sigh.

"Tell me about her." He requests. I stare at him, a slight smile on my face.

"Her name is Tori. You remember her? I told you about her back when she was just my friend. She's my girlfriend now. She's very kind, and she takes care of me and I want to take care of her." I explain.

"I'd like to meet her one time." He states. I give him a surprised look, but my smile widens.

"Maybe one time I can bring her." I suggest. He grins for a moment before going serious again.

"But you won't bring mom and dad?" He asks.

"They'll come separately, but no, you won't see us at the same time anymore." I sigh before giving him a serious look. "I don't know what they'll tell you about me, but I want you to know that everything I told you was the truth, okay? And don't hate them… They just don't get it."

"They don't hate me for being crazy. I won't hate them for being crazy." He nods, and I can't help but chuckle at that. He smiles at me. "Are you happy, Kitten?"

"Uh." I gape, not sure what to say. "I think so… yeah. Yeah, I'm happy. Things aren't ideal, but…" I trail off.

"You can't have joy without sorrow." He philosophizes. I gape at him again. "You should read the comic! It'll make you feel better, maybe." He states, tapping it. I look down at the colourful page and sigh, flipping it open.

"What's it about?" I ask. The front page is full of some hero standing over a city skyline, text boxes lamenting about something.

"That's the hero. He's strong and brave and kind. But the world hates him because he's different, and different is scary." My brother explains, flipping the page over to see a scene where a woman is being mugged. "But he still helps the people who hate him." He shows as he flips over the page to reveal the hero fighting off the mugger and handing back the purse to a now smiling woman. "Then people start liking him more! He's so cool."

"He seems very cool." I smile.

"But you haven't seen the best part yet!" He exclaims happily, quickly flipping the page. "In this part, he gets a chance to do something really amazing that will change the world for the better. And here…" He trails off, turning the page so I can see a white envelope interrupting the usual colourful scheme of the comic. I stare at it in confusion. It's addressed to me. I look up at my brother, my brow furrowed. He has a sheepish smile as he pushes the comic and envelope closer to me. His eyes dart around for a moment. "Open it, Kitten." He whispers.

Slowly, I pick up the envelope and open it. I slip the paper out and unfold it, my eyes grazing over the bold text below an official theatre seal. It reads:

_Cat Valentine,_

_We saw the video you sent in and we were very impressed with your energy as well as your performance abilities. We are holding auditions for an Off-Broadway production of Rent in the middle of May. We have made a time-slot available for you to audition if you wish to prepare a monologue, song and movement piece for us. We look forward to seeing more of your talent. The time, date and location are as follows…_

I continue to read the letter and my jaw slowly unhinges. Rent?! I love Rent! It's one of my favourite musicals and now I might have a chance to be in an official production… But… How did this even happen? I look up at my beaming brother.

"What's it say?" He asks.

"I… have an audition for Rent…" I mutter, still confused and shocked. My brother throws his hands up in the air and lets out a loud whoop.

"Haha! I knew you'd get it! This is so exciting!" He cheers. I just stare, trying to comprehend the situation. "What's wrong, Kitten? Be happy!"

"I'm just… confused… Why did you have this? And how did this theatre company know about me? It said they saw a video but… I didn't send anything in. It must be a mistake…" I mutter.

"You want to do musical theatre, right?" He asks pointedly.

"Yes…"

"And you're graduating this year. Have you done anything to figure out what you're going to do after school?" He goads.

"Um… no…" I mumble. He starts to laugh.

"Kitten! You've always been absent minded." He grins, then leans in and drops his voice. "I've been getting mom and dad to bring in videos of you acting and singing or just being silly for the past while without you noticing. I told them it was because I missed my Kitten, but I secretly cut all the videos together in a big video of Kitten talent. Then I snuck around here to get it sent out. I've been sneaking in the mailroom every day, and today this letter finally came! And then you showed up! Funny, huh?"

"Oh my god…" I breathe, clapping my hand over my mouth as tears fill my eyes. "I can't believe you did that for me…"

"You're going to go, right?" He asks, smiling. I think about it for a moment… It's true I've always wanted to go into musical theatre, but I'm not even eighteen yet. I love the opportunity but… who am I?

"I don't know… Like, this is huge! And amazing. But I don't think I'm good enough. There's probably dozens of other people with more experience auditioning… I'd hate to set myself up for disappointment." I mutter. He leans back, frowning.

"That doesn't sound like Kitten. You might as well try." He says.

"Maybe…" I bite my lip. He leans back in, shuffling a bit.

"Did I ever tell you why I saved your life all those years ago?" He whispers. I stare at him in surprise. His eyes seem so… clear. I slowly shake my head and he lets out a breath. "We grew up together. You were my baby sister and I saw you grow up in front of my eyes. When we were at the park and you would sing for us… That was amazing. I could do a lot of things, but I couldn't sing. And you were just so carefree – a free spirit. The world was out stretched in front of you, and you were ready to make it your playground. Me? I wasn't so lucky. I was good at many things, yeah. But I didn't enjoy them. There was so much pressure on me to be perfect, but I wasn't happy. All those places that wanted me… my parents believing I would rise to the top of the world while they ignored their shining star of the daughter they had… I couldn't have any of it. But when I saw you falling out of the window… Kitten, you're going to be incredible at what you do because you're passionate about it and it makes you happy. And you're going to keep rising to the top. Now, there aren't any expectations on me and I'm happy. Go climb to the top, Kitten. Don't fall out of any windows." He finishes.

I can't help the tears that spill from my eyes. All these years I blamed myself for what happened to him, but to hear that he's happy now… and that he, someone who was once perceived as perfect, believes in me. And after everything he just said and the lengths he went through to send the video? Maybe the accident didn't affect him as much as he led on…

"Okay." I sniff, nodding and gulping down the lump in my throat. "I'll try. For you, and myself." I state. His goofy grin comes back.

"Good! You're going to do great, Kitten!" He exclaims. I clutch the letter in my hand as I walk around the table to give him a big hug.

"Thank you." I whisper. "You're the best brother anyone could ever ask for."

"You deserve this, Kitten." He mutters. "Knock 'em dead."

Our time was up not long after that, and I left to find Jade. She was waiting by her car.

"There you are. How'd it go?" She asks. I have a plain look on my face, still in shock about everything.

"Uh… Good. He still likes me." I mutter.

"Well that's just fantastic. I'm happy for you. Did you know that if you poke a crazy person, they'll bite you? Do you think believing you're a cow can be transferable through saliva?" Jade asks, examining her finger with bite marks. She looks at me again and sees my expression. "Hey, what's up with you? You said it went well."

I hold up my shaky hand with the letter. "He got me an audition for a production of Rent…" I mutter.

"_What_?! What? How did he… You know what, I don't even care! That's incredible! When is it? Where?" Jade interrogates.

"Um, that's the thing. It's in May, and with my parents still out of the picture, I'll probably need you to take me again…" I trail off.

"Well this just got less exciting." Jade groans. "Where is it?"

I bite my lip uneasily, bracing myself for her fury. "New York City." I mumble. "I know it's a LOT farther than this place but-" Jade cuts me off with a raised hand.

"Excuse me, you're giving me an excuse to go to New York City. I find no problem with this. Can we go now?" Jade rushes out. I grin at her.

* * *

Tori was ecstatic when I told her about my brother's acceptance and the audition. So excited, she almost broke her other leg. And then she kissed me for about an hour, which made me happy. She helped me prepare for the audition. Trina tried to help, too, which went badly… Tori convinced Trina to start making videos of herself to send to theatre companies. Trina left us alone after that, too busy filming.

The song was easy. I went with "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. The movement piece was harder. My movement was restricted due to the gash in my side, so I went to see my doctor and he said I should be good to go back to regular movement by the middle of May. I'd still have the cast on, but Tori said it probably wouldn't be a big issue. At least both my arms weren't propped up like her audition.

The monologue I chose was the same one I had to do for the end of school last year – The monologue from "Nuts". So, I was good to go by the middle of May. Now I just had to make it to the audition.

Tori couldn't come _again_ because of her leg. She was on crutches by this point, but her mobility was still very limited and wouldn't go over well in a busy city like New York City. It's sad, because I fantasized about kissing her at the top of The Empire State Building, or on The Statue of Liberty, or on any high place, really. But instead I settled for calling her practically every five minutes telling her about what I was seeing. Jade brought Beck, which wasn't fair. I liked having Beck around, but it just made me sadder that my girlfriend wasn't with me. And I could've used her. That audition was the most nerve wracking moment of my life.

I stood in the hallway outside the theatre, pacing frantically. I nervously dialed Tori on my phone, raising my shaky hand to bring the speaker to my ear.

"**Cat? How are you doing?**" She answered.

"I can't breathe!" I gasped.

"**Cat, relax. Just do your breathing exercises.**" Tori instructed calmly. I tried it, my breaths coming out all shaky. "**Are Jade and Beck with you?**"

"No. They were hungry so they went to Chinatown for something to eat." I explained.

"**What? They left you alone!? Ugh, I'm killing them both when they get back…**" Tori grumbled.

"Don't. They were really hungry and getting grumpy, so I told them to leave." I giggled.

"**I wish you weren't alone. I wish I was with you.**" Tori sighed.

"I know. I miss your arms around me." I murmured. "They'd make me feel a lot more calm."

"**I'm mentally putting my arms around you now, and I'll be mentally holding you through the whole audition. Okay?**" She assured.

"Okay…" I sighed. "But what if I mess up?"

"**Yeah. What if you do? Cat, what's the worst thing that can happen?**" Tori asked. I thought for a moment.

"I guess I mess up and then go home to cry on your shoulder." I answered.

"**And then you'll dust yourself off and try again. Remember what Sikowitz has always said? Auditions are another opportunity to discover. Just enjoy yourself, as you always do. And have fun!**" Tori exclaimed.

"Yeah… You're right, Tori. Thank you." I breathed, feeling my confidence rise. Then the door to the theatre opened, a head poking out.

"Cat Valentine?" A woman asked.

"I have to go. I'll call you later." I said quickly into the phone.

"**Break a leg, hun! But not like I did.**"

That made me giggle before I went in. And I didn't mess up, because I felt Tori's arms supporting me. I don't know if it was the best audition, but they said they'd notify the cast within the next month. If I didn't hear from them, then I didn't get the part. It's the beginning of June now, and I haven't heard anything. I'm not the only one with opportunities, though.

"You're getting speedy with those." I giggle at Tori's agility with her crutches as we head to the lunch table.

"Thanks! I'm just worried that the muscles on my right leg will look way bigger than my left leg. Think I'll look like a lopsided freak?" Tori asks.

"Nah, never." I chuckle. We get down to the table and take a seat.

"Hey, your arm!" Robbie exclaims, looking at my now bare right hand.

"Yeah! I got my cast off yesterday." I grin.

"Did they follow the dotted line?" Jade asks.

"No." I giggle.

"Amateurs." Jade scoffs.

"So you're all better, then?" Beck asks.

"Not quite. I have to go to physiotherapy for a few weeks to build up my wrist's strength again, but then I'm all good." I explain.

"That's sick! I'm glad you healed from everything so quickly." Andre beams. "How about you, Tor?"

"I'm getting fitted for a walking brace in a week or so. Which is good. I mean, I'll still be limping but it'll be better than using my crutches to get my high school diploma." Tori sighs.

"True fact." Andre nods.

"Heard anything about your audition yet, Cat?" Jade asks. I shake my head.

"No. I probably didn't get it." I say.

"I'm sorry." Robbie frowns.

"No, it's okay. It was a great experience. Even though I didn't get it, I can look forward to the next opportunity." I smile, receiving a rub on the shoulder from a proud-looking Tori.

"Healthy outlook." Beck nods.

"**TORI!**" We hear, causing us all to jump. A furious Trina comes storming to the table.

"Geez, Trina! Give us a heart attack why don't you?" Tori gasps.

"Whatever. Can you please explain to me why _you _always end up in the spotlight?" Trina scoffs.

"Now there's a mystery that will never be solved." Jade mutters.

"What are you talking about?" Tori raises her eyebrow. Trina rolls her eyes, waving a small piece of paper lazily in the air.

"Remember those videos I sent in?" Trina asks.

"Yes…" Tori says slowly.

"Well, a music producer I sent a video to contacted me today." Trina drawls.

"Really? Well that's great-" Tori starts.

"Yeah _no it's not_. This guy completely ignored me. He saw a clip where you were singing to Cat to help her with her audition in the background. So he contacted me wanting to get in touch with _you_." Trina whines.

"Wow, really? Who is this guy?" Tori asks.

"Hank Greene or whatever." Trina sighs. Andre spits his drink everywhere.

"_Hank Greene_? Man, that's huge! He's like one of the biggest music producers in L.A.!" Andre exclaims. "You got to call him!"

"I have his contact info here." Trina mumbles, handing the paper to Tori. "Don't ever forget what an awesome sister I am."

"I won't." Tori breathes, taking the paper.

"Call, call, call!" Andre chants, practically bouncing.

"Go on, Tori." I smile, nudging her.

"Okay! I'm calling." Tori chuckles. She dials and holds the phone to her ear. There's a moment of silence, and then… "Um, hi. This is Tori Vega. My sister gave me your number. She said you saw me in the background of her video…? Yes… Okay… Yeah, that'd be great! … Okay! Thanks, that's so awesome… You too! Bye!" And she hangs up. We stare at her for a moment.

"What'd he say?" Beck asks.

"He wants to record a demo with me." Tori beams.

"Oh my god, that's amazing!" I exclaim, wrapping my arms around her neck for a tight hug.

"Woohoo! My friend is going to record with **Hank Greene**! Life is good!" Andre cheers.

"Congratulations!" I mutter sweetly into her ear.

"This is so surreal. I don't even know what to say." Tori breathes, leaning into my hug.

"A thank you would be nice." Trina scoffs.

"Thank you!" Tori gasps.

"You're welcome." Trina rolls her eyes before stalking off.

"This is cause for a celebration! I'll buy your lunch. Whatever you want." Andre offers.

"Well, okay. Let's go see what Festus has today." Tori says. She turns her head to kiss me on the cheek. "I'll be back."

"Kay, kay." I release her from my hold, still smiling. She grabs her crutches and heads off with Andre. I watch her, beaming.

"Hey, Cat…" Jade says slowly.

"Mhm?" I ask, not taking my eyes off Tori.

"There's still a chance you could get that part in Rent, right?" She asks.

"I guess, but I doubt it." I mutter.

"Well, you better hope you don't get it now." Jade sighs. I tear my eyes from Tori to give Jade a confused look.

"Why?" I ask.

"Yeah, why?" Beck jumps in.

"Because… Hank Greene works out of L.A. Getting the part in Rent would mean you move to New York…" Jade trails off. I tilt my head.

"Yes…" I nod. "What's your point?" I ask. Jade lets out a frustrated huff.

"I think she means, that you getting the part would put you and Tori on opposite sides of the country." Robbie explains.

"Oh… yeah, I guess it would." I frown.

"And long distance relationships tend not to work…" Jade trails off. I look at Beck, who shrugs.

"I'm afraid she's right. Even Jade and I wouldn't last long if we were living separate lives so far apart." Beck sighs.

"Exactly. So, if you two both get great opportunities, that's great, but it'll probably be the end of your relationship. Keep that in mind." Jade warns.

I look over at Tori again worriedly, seeing her smiling face in the food truck line. Getting the part in Rent would be a huge step toward a career in musical theatre. And even if I don't get the part, I'll want to end up where Broadway is eventually. But Tori needs to be here in L.A. if that's what will get her her dream of being a pop star. But, I really don't want to lose her… I don't know what to do.

* * *

"That's it. We're done. We're graduated." Tori sighs, looking at her diploma. We just exited the ceremony and we're outside in the Asphalt Café amongst the mingling graduates, their parents and teachers.

"Right you are, Tori! And I'm all eaten up inside about it." Sikowitz groans, clutching his heart.

"Hi Sikowitz!" I grin.

"I have to say, sending off a group of successful students that I shaped and moulded into artistic adults never gets any easier as the years go on. However, I am extremely proud of you both and your group of friends and I wish you the best." Sikowitz sighs.

"We'll keep in touch." Tori assures him.

"Please do." Sikowitz smiles sadly, giving Tori a hug. "And congratulations on the Hank Greene deal."

"Thanks." Tori smiles, pulling back from the hug. "We start to record next week."

"Excellent." He smiles, and then turns to me. "Cat. I'm only half sorry for all those times I threw a beach ball at you."

"Oh… Thanks?" I say, furrowing my brow. He considerately reaches out for a handshake instead of a hug. I shake it gratefully.

"Well, I'm going to go attempt to scare Mr. Oliver one last time before he leaves. Farewell!" Sikowitz states.

"Good luck!" Tori chuckles as Sikowitz leaves. I lean into her.

"I can't believe our time at Hollywood Arts is over." I mumble.

"I know what you mean. I was dreading this day. But you know what? Even though it's sad… I feel like I'm ready to move on with my life. It's a new, exciting chapter." Tori sighs. "I mean, I'm lucky I'm getting out at all. Trina really pulled through for me in hip-hop rhythm."

"I think she wanted out more than you did." I giggle.

"I'm sorry your parents didn't come see you graduate… I was hoping…" Tori mutters.

"I know. I was too. But it's their loss. They didn't get to see my girlfriend limp across the stage to grab her diploma like a robot." I grin.

"Mm. Your girlfriend sounds like a riot." Tori smiles, putting her hands on my hips and holding me close. I put my arms around her neck.

"She keeps my pretty happy." I murmur, giving her a sweet kiss. Then I feel a vibrate in my clutch purse.

"Phone call." Tori sighs, pulling away from me having heard it. I take out my phone and answer the call.

"Hello?"

"**Hi, Cat Valentine?**"

"Yes, who's speaking?" I ask.

"**Cat, this is Jack Hamilton. I don't know if you remember me, but I'm the casting director of the theatre company you auditioned for back in May.**"

I tense up. "Yes, I remember."

"**Great. How would you like to be the understudy for Maureen in our upcoming production of Rent?**"

My jaw drops. "I… uh…"

"**You don't have to answer right away. Rehearsals start in September so we'll need you down here by then. Call me back once you have an answer.**" He says.

"K... Okay. Thank you." I mutter, hanging up. I look at Tori, feeling dazed. She looks concerned.

"Cat? Who was that?" She asks.

"The casting director for Rent…" I say slowly. Her eyes widen.

"And?" Tori urges.

"He asked me to be the understudy for Maureen." I mumble.

"**Holy chiz**! That's so mind blowing! Oh my god, I'm so proud of you!" Tori exclaims, wrapping me up in a big hug and twisting me around. My arms limply go to her sides. "I mean, it's an understudy role but still! You have your foot in the door! Next stop, Broadway!"

"Yeah…" I mutter. She releases me from the hug, looking confused.

"Honey, what's wrong? You don't seem excited. You're going to take it, right?" Tori asks quickly.

"I… I don't know." I tremble, my eyes filling with tears.

"What? What do you mean you don't know? Do you not think you can do it? Because I believe in you…" Tori assure me.

"No, it's not that." I sniff, wiping my eyes. "If I take the gig… it means we have to break up." I choke out. Tori's face drops into a frown.

"But, why?" She asks.

"Because… long distance won't work. I can't do that, Tori. I can't have an extensive rehearsal schedule in New York while you're recording music here in L.A. Being together yet never being able to see you? I can't, Tori. It'll be too hard." I quiver.

"Cat…" Tori sighs, wrapping her arms back around me. I bury my head in her neck. "We won't be apart."

"How?" I mumble.

"Because I'm going to New York with you." Tori states. I pull away from her, surprised.

"But… What about Hank Greene? Your career starts here, Tori." I sniff. She shakes her head.

"My career might be here, but my _life _is wherever you are. When I look into my future, you're there. I can start a music career anywhere, but you're needed in New York for your career. And where you're needed, I'm needed." Tori states firmly.

"I can't let you do that. You have such an amazing opportunity here." I sigh.

"You think I didn't think about this outcome? Cat, I'm more than willing to give it all up for you. I'll support you, and you'll support me. We're better together, and we can accomplish anything. I believe that. And I know you do, too." She touches my cheek. "So, let's move to New York. Let's start our lives outside of Hollywood Arts – together."

I press my hand to hers on my cheek, closing my eyes. "…Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay." I open my eyes and grin at her. She envelopes me in a deep kiss, and tears spill from both our eyes. All of my inhibitions float away and I start to feel excited. Excited for the future and what it holds. It might have its bad parts, but it'll have good parts as well. And I know most of those good parts will involve Tori. God, I love her, and I'm so glad to have her in my life.

* * *

**Author's Notes: D'aw, how cute. Hot damn that was a lot of content. Like three months worth. And now I'm falling asleep. I don't know what to write for this Author's Note anymore. I had a funny joke, but I forgot it. **

**So my goal is to have the next chapter out by Saturday morning. That's the plan, anyway. I'll try my best. I don't really have a way to communicate to you what's going on between chapters and the progress with that. I mean, I could post a chapter with just an Author's Note, but that would piss me right off, personally. Don't worry, I have plans to deal with this in the future! In the meantime, tell me what you thought of the chapter! My busy schedule means I've been slacking a bit when it comes to replying to reviews, but if I haven't gotten to you yet, I will! I promise!**

**Fun Fact: Although I know Rent pretty well, I have never seen it. Play or movie. I know. I'm a horrible person and I don't understand it either.**

**Alsonextchapteristhelastoneokaybye.**


	29. Epilogue

**Author's Note: ... I am feeling so emotional right now. Nobody warned me it would be this hard to post a final chapter. Hoo boy. Before any of you read on, I just wanted to thank anyone who made it this far. Your support and enjoyment of this story means a lot, and I hope you enjoy how I tied it all together. I wouldn't release anything I wasn't proud of. **

**Disclaimer: I'M GLAD I DON'T OWN VICTORIOUS BECAUSE NOW I KNOW HOW DAN FELT WHEN HE HAD TO END IT. WAAAH. **

* * *

Five Years Later

The woman sits in front of the large, giddy audience who were laughing and cheering. The woman had her usual, perfectly coiffed blonde hair as well as her trademark vest and jeans that were easy to dance in. She looks out among her fans with a large smile on her face, rocking gently in excitement to introduce her next guests. At least, that's what she looks like on the screen backstage. I'm so nervous.

"Okay," The woman addresses, trying to talk over the roar of the excitement in the room. "Our next guests are two incredibly, _incredibly _talented young women who both have interesting pasts and bright futures – both separate and together. Considered the two most influential, upcoming talents for today's generation please welcome Tori Vega and Cat Valentine!"

The audience erupts in cheers as an upbeat song starts to play. I look over to Tori who gives me a kind, comforting smile and holds out her hand. I take it gratefully and we walk out onto the set of The Ellen DeGeneres Show. That's right. I said _The Ellen DeGeneres Show_. With Ellen DeGeneres. I can't believe it either. Both Tori and I stride up to the red chairs and Ellen stands up to take a moment to dance with us. This moment just got so surreal. I'm dancing with Ellen DeGeneres. Did I mention this is Ellen DeGeneres?

After a bit of shuffling, Ellen goes in to hug Tori, who returns the hug. Ellen then turns to me and her smile is so bright and cheerful as she gives me a hug. "It's so nice to meet you!" She exclaims in my ear.

"You too! This is such a pleasure!" I grin, pulling back. Both Tori and I sit on the red couch and Ellen sits down in here chair, cutting off the music. The audience is still cheering, and Tori turns to wave at them. I give a giggle.

"I love your audience!" Tori laughs.

"Aren't they great? I'm pretty sure they're fans of yours, too. Tori Vega and Cat Valentine, everyone." Ellen gestures to us before clapping herself. The audience gets even louder, if that's possible. "Don't they both look beautiful?"

"Aww, thank you!" I smile.

"I'm really glad I could have you here, thanks for coming." Ellen says as the audience finally dies down.

"Thank you for having us. It's a really big honour, we're both big fans and we admire you so much." Tori gushes.

"Well thank you, that's really sweet." Ellen smiles.

"And I think this is our… first TV appearance together? Is that right?" Tori asks, looking at me.

"Right." I nod.

"But you've been on a talk show before, right?" Ellen asks.

"Um, yes, I have." Tori answers. "I've been on Good Morning America and Late Night with Jimmy Fallon."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Ellen jokes, causing the audience as well as me and Tori to laugh. "You're here now, it's okay."

"Yes, thank you." Tori laughs.

"Okay, let's start with you first, Tori. You seemed to come from out of nowhere, huh?" Ellen comments.

"That's what I've been told." Tori chuckles. "I didn't expect to get such a huge response so quickly but people really seem to like my music."

"Well your new album hit gold status pretty quickly, right? And I've listened to it and it has a really good sound. Really good." Ellen compliments.

"Aw, thanks." Tori blushes. I smile proudly at her.

"But I think it was the combination of both your music and your ability to be real and relate to your fans so well on social media that really helped build up a great fan-base from the beginning." Ellen theorizes. "Nine million followers on The Slap already, right?"

"Right! It's so crazy. But I love my fans, they're the best." Tori grins. We hear a whoop from the audience.

"And it's well deserved. You're very talented. I'm just going to keep complimenting you." Ellen says.

"Thank you." Tori laughs.

"But I'm not sure how many of your fans remember this, but a few years back you were in the spotlight a couple of times, isn't that right? Both of you were." Ellen smiles sheepishly. Tori breathes in deeply and I just giggle.

"Um, yeah, there were a few moments I guess." I say.

"Like, for example, Tori you performed at the Platinum Music Awards." Ellen recalls.

"That would be correct, I did do that." Tori smiles.

"And there was a bit of a controversy with that at the time, wasn't there? You can tell I did my research, right?" Ellen smirks.

"Yes, which is worrying me." Tori chuckles.

"Let's look at a photo taken of you back during that time." Ellen says. Tori's eyes go wide.

"Oh god." Tori sighs as a picture flashes up on the big screen of one of Tori's outrageous outfits. I start giggling uncontrollably, having forgotten how bad it really was.

"That's uh… A very interesting fashion choice." Ellen chuckles.

"Yeah… Yeah, I can explain that, though." Tori blushes.

"Oh don't worry, we know. Mason Thornesmith has been exposed as someone notorious for selling out celebrities. We know you're not really like that, or someone who dresses like… that. But really, the skirt?" Ellen laughs.

"I know." Tori shakes her head.

"I think it looks cute on you." I state, smiling at Tori.

"Funny you should say that, because I was thinking that skirt kind of makes you look like broccoli. Did you know that two broccolis attract?" Ellen asks.

"I… did not know that." Tori furrows her brow.

"Yeah, see." Ellen says, turning to the screen as a picture of me in a big broccoli suit appears.

"Oh _god._" I laugh, putting my face in my hands.

"Aww, aren't you so cute." Tori chuckles.

"This was your other claim to fame, right?" Ellen smirks.

"Right, the Diddly-Bops who went viral and were popular with little children." Tori recalls shaking her head.

"And you were both involved with this one. Care to explain?" Ellen asks.

"We just needed the money, honestly." I sigh, looking up. Tori nudges me gently.

"You kind of wanted to continue with it, didn't you?" She chuckles.

"Oh, shut up." I mumble, smiling.

"And then of course the time Tori was dragged across the court by a dog after singing the national anthem..." Ellen grins, showing another picture.

"I love how most of my famous moments were from me embarrassing myself." Tori groans, and I chuckle along with her.

"And finally, and on a less humorous note, you both were also part of The Surviving Seven here in L.A. after the devastating earthquake over five years ago." Ellen states.

"Right." I sigh at the memory. That was the day of tragedy, and the sixty day kiss that sealed Tori and I's relationship.

"So in response your group organized a charity stream that raised a _ton_ of money for earthquake victims, correct?" Ellen asks.

"Yeah, we did. Still one of my proudest moments." Tori grins.

"That's just incredible. Can we get a round of applause for that?" Ellen proclaims, and the audience begins to cheer. Tori and I blush, embarrassed. "Here's a picture from the stream. Cat, I like how you were dressed as a dog even though your name is Cat."

"Thank you!" I exclaim. Finally, someone gets it.

"You both look so scared, though. As well as your other friends. I know it was Halloween, but…" Ellen trails off.

"That was a weird night." Tori mutters.

"Yeah…" I agree. We still don't know what the deal was with Buzz and Rex. Plus, that was the night I knew for sure that Tori wasn't just pitying me because of what had happened to me.

"I'll believe it. So, Cat, let's talk about you. Tori is a pop star, but you're more into acting, right?" Ellen asks.

"Yep. That's me. I started off as an understudy for Maureen in an Off-Broadway production of Rent. I got to play Maureen a few times, but I was always in the ensemble. After only a year, the regular actor had to step down and I took over as the main actor for Maureen." I explain with a slight shudder. Jade never explained where she was the weekend that the actress who played Maureen fractured her pelvis… "It was a very rewarding experience, and I still keep in touch with a lot of cast members. I loved every minute I was a part of Rent."

"And you had very positive reviews during your time as Maureen, I understand. I've seen videos and you have a very clear, powerful voice." Ellen nods.

"Thank you so much." I beam. I'm surprised I'm not fainting at one of my idols complimenting me.

"So, tell everyone what you're working on now." Ellen urges. Tori gives me a proud look and I take in a deep breath.

"Well, I've been in a brand new musical that was wildly popular, and it'll be opening on Broadway in the Fall." I beam. The audience cheers again.

"That's amazing! Tell us about it. Give the people at home an idea of what to expect if they go see the show on Broadway." Ellen states.

"Um, I play the lead role. It's about a girl from L.A. who had a dream to be a singer. So she meets a producer and falls in love with him. They get married, but when the album flops, the producer cheats on her which devastates her." I explain. I look over at Tori, who is pressing her lips together. I remember when her parents had a divorce, and how that was a hard time on her. "She decides to reinvent herself and goes to do charity work in Thailand with a small village there. When she gets there, she discovers that the village is being terrorized by a group of tigers. My character discovers she can control and tame the tigers with her singing voice, and that opens up a huge plot about the history of the tigers and why they're there, and what the evil forces at work really are. It's great, it's really heart-warming, has a great score arranged by Andre Harris, and everyone watching this should go see it." I giggle. Yeah, Andre did the score. I suggested him.

"What's it called?" Ellen asks.

"It's called 'Earning Stripes', and again it opens in the Fall. It's a really great show, you won't be disappointed." I smile.

"It sounds great. I'll be going for sure, in the front row making funny faces." Ellen chuckles.

"Perfect." I grin.

"And Tori, what's your album called, in case anyone hasn't bought it yet." Ellen asks.

"It's called 'Love Conquers'." Tori states.

"Is there any story behind the album?" Ellen questions.

"Oh definitely. It's all about me and Cat, and what we went through together. She gave me a song writing journal a few Christmases back, and basically everything I wrote down in that is now on my album." Tori explains.

"So, let's talk about that. I mean, this is the reason I decided to have both of you on the show at the same time rather than separate. It's pretty well known that you two are romantically involved and have been long before either of you got into show business." Ellen states.

"This is true." I blush.

"We got together just before senior year in high school." Tori says.

"So, you're both gay, then." Ellen states plainly.

"Yes." I giggle.

"No idea what that's like." Ellen scoffs jokingly, causing everyone in the room to laugh. "But seriously, your relationship is inspiring to any couple of any sexuality. You're constantly photographed together holding hands, and you're always at each other's shows… and after being together so long and in a business like this and yet still seeming so in love. It's very inspiring."

"Thank you. Yeah, I still love her." I smile, touching my forehead with Tori's for a moment.

"You're sweet." Tori chuckles, earning a collective "aww" from the audience.

"But what's _really _impressive about the both of you is that you have a bit of a tragic past." Ellen says solemnly. "I don't know how much you want to talk about it…"

Both Tori and I look at each other before looking back at Ellen. "I think we're okay to talk about it." I say.

"We have nothing to hide, and our stories might help someone who's gone through something similar." Tori agrees. She looks at me again and laces her fingers with mine. "Cat? Want to go first?"

"Mhm." I sigh. "Before I got together with Tori and we were only just friends, I was a victim of rape by my ex-boyfriend." I reveal. There's a murmur in the audience and Ellen gives a sympathetic look. "It was devastating and it affected me physically, mentally and emotionally. If it weren't for Tori, I don't think I would have come out of it the way I did." I breathe. Tori gives my hand a squeeze. "But I'm much better now. He's in jail, and although sometimes I still feel uneasy at the human touch, it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. I overcame it, and I didn't let it define me. And now I want to help people who are in the same situation I used to be."

"First of all, I'm so sorry that happened to you. And would you mind describing the actions you're taking to help sexual assault victims?" Ellen asks. I nod.

"Well I'm planning on starting a charity that's theatre based where victims or supporters can get involved to express themselves in a therapeutic sense and also to help educate others about rape culture, victim blaming and rape sensitivity. You don't know the history of the people around you, and rape jokes aren't cool. You don't know who you could offend." I explain.

"I think that's a wonderful cause. You're very admirable." Ellen says, and the audience cheers again.

"Thank you so much." I smile. Tori smiles me.

"And then you both went through something horrible together due to your sexuality, right? Do you mind talking about that?" Ellen asks. I look to Tori.

"About eight months into our relationship, we were attacked walking down the street." Tori starts. "They had no reason to other than they didn't like that we were dating. They were incredibly violent and put us both in hospital with severe injuries. They were planning to kill us if my dad and the police hadn't shown up when they did."

"That's awful. I'm glad you two are okay." Ellen says solemnly. "It's horrible to think these kinds of hate crimes still happen. My heart goes out to you or any person who had had to deal with that. It really does."

"We got better, eventually. They didn't win. We're still together. There's still going to be gay people. And there are more and more accepting people every day. Homophobia is a dying breed." Tori states.

"We still have our scars, and it took us awhile to be able to warm up to public displays of affection again, but we never want to hide our relationship. There's no way I'd ever be ashamed of Tori. No way." I claim proudly.

"Aw, same to you." Tori smiles. Ellen gives us a big smile.

"Well like I said, your stories are incredible and I'm so happy for your success that you're having now." Ellen sighs.

"Thanks. We're incredibly happy." Tori grins.

"And it's a good thing California allows gay marriage now, huh?" Ellen asks sheepishly. We both blush.

"Uh, yeah. That'll be helpful for some day." I mumble, embarrassed.

"Or right now." Ellen grins. I stare at her and she looks at Tori. "Wasn't there something you wanted to ask Cat?"

"Y-Yeah." Tori stammers, looking red in the face. I furrow my brow at her, and then I gasp in shock along with the audience as Tori slides of the couch to kneel in front of me. She takes my hand in both of hers while my free hand rises to my mouth, my eyes wide.

"Tori…?" I gasp.

"Cat…" Tori gulps. "You have been my girlfriend and love of my life for the past six years, and you've been my best friend for seven years. You're my everything. My light. My love. My crutch. You're absolutely beautiful and I thank God every day that I have you in my life. I have no idea how I ever became so lucky, but I'm not going to take it for granted. I will spend the rest of my life loving you, if you'll let me. So, I need to ask… Caterina Valentine…" She says my name in her Latina accent, which makes me shiver. Then I shiver again as she pulls out a small black box, popping it open to reveal a small, white gold ring embroidered with small diamonds. "Will you marry me?"

"I…" I stumble. C'mon Cat, now's not the time for your brain to stall. I slip off the couch to reach her level, looking at her intensely. Her eyes search mine nervously. I swallow hard, trying to keep the tears at bay. "Tori… I can't even begin to describe how much you mean to me. You've accepted me for who I am… when I'm at my best and at my worst. And I hope you know I love you more than anything. We sync up so well… which is why I'm upset you beat me to the punch." I sigh, pulling out my own black box and popping it open to reveal a thick gold ring with a large diamond on top that glows like her skin and her smile.

"Oh." She breathes. I smile at her.

"I was going to propose tonight, but I like your idea better. So… I'll marry you if you marry me." I grin, a tear escaping my eye.

"Oh… Cat… Of course I'll marry you. I love you." Tori breathes. I remember the first time she told me she loves me, after I sang to her. I still love the way she makes me feel. It never gets old.

"Then… I guess we're getting married. And I love you, too." I whisper. We quickly exchange rings and then the applause starts slowly with Ellen. I almost forgot where we were. The whole establishment erupts in hoots and hollers as we shakily stand up, supporting each other as we do so. We wrap our arms around each other and lean in for a deep kiss. Our cheeks are wet from the happy tears. Ellen turns to the ecstatic audience.

"That's true love right there! Everybody here is going home with a copy of Tori Vega's CD 'Love Conquers'. Lead by Cat and Tori's example and be kind to one another."

* * *

We had to catch a flight immediately after the show because I had to be in New York the next morning to deal with things concerning the Broadway show. News of our engagement spread across social media like wild fire and we had to dodge paparazzi at the airport. On the plane, I slept on Tori's shoulder the whole way back to New York, our hands intertwined and our rings sparkling in the sunlight from the plane window. She gently woke me up at our destination and we went to face the paparazzi and fans waiting at the gate for us. We smiled genuinely and waved at them, but we didn't stay too long. Both of us were dying to be alone.

"Wow, that was a lot of people." Tori breathes, closing the door of our apartment and locking it. I take off my shoes and put down my bag, smiling at her.

"Like Ellen said, a lot of people admire our relationship. People must be ecstatic about our engagement… What do our fans call it? Cori?" I ask.

"I think that's right." Tori grins. I pull out my phone to see a bunch of missed calls from when I was on the airplane, including calls from Jade, Beck, Andre, Robbie and even Trina. Tori gently pushes my hand with my phone down. "I guess they heard the news."

"Mhm." I smirk. She leans in close to whisper in my ear, pushing up against me. I feel my skin get hot.

"We can call them tomorrow. Tonight it's about you and me." She murmurs. I turn into her, beaming, before plastering my lips to hers. She stumbles back into the door as she holds me tightly, giving everything back into the kiss. My dress is practically half-off by the time I stop her.

"Hold on. Maybe we should order dinner first, and talk about things." I say quietly. She gives a pout.

"Yeah, you're right." She sighs. I giggle and leave a peck on her pouting lips.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." I assure her before heading to the kitchen phone.

"Thank god for that." Tori smiles.

"What do you feel like?" I ask, picking up the phone and looking up the list of our favourite take-out places around New York City.

"Um… Italian?" Tori ponders.

"Pizza it is." I giggle. "Our usual?"

"Sounds good to me." Tori says, heading into our room for a moment. I order the pizza and then head to the little living area with our couch, TV and balcony looking out over the New York Skyline. It's not a very large apartment. It's cozy, and even though we both have money for more, we like the modesty of the place. Why pay more to put more space between the two of us? I sit down on the couch and Tori joins me soon after, having changed into something more comfortable. And by that, I mean sweats and a tank top.

"Oh, that's a good idea. I'm too tired to get off the couch now, though." I yawn. Tori leans over and nuzzles the side of my head, chuckling.

"I like the dress on you anyway. Very cute and sexy." She states. I give a giggle and put an arm around her and nuzzle her back.

"So. Tori Vega." I shift myself to sit facing her, a stern look on my face.

"Yes, Cat Valentine?" She smirks. I tap her gently on the nose.

"How did you arrange it to propose to me on Ellen?" I ask, trying to be serious.

"Well, I had been planning to propose to you for some time… but everything I could think of just didn't seem good enough. I know you would have been fine if I had simply proposed at a fancy dinner or something, but I wanted to make sure it was extra special for you. So, when my manager told me we were both invited to be on Ellen… I e-mailed her immediately to set it up." Tori explains.

"Sneaky." I grin.

"Yeah." She smiles, then gets a shy look on her face. "Did you… like it? Or would you have preferred if I proposed at a fancy dinner…"

"Of course I liked it." I smile, rolling my eyes. "It was very special, and sweet… like you."

"I'm glad… and I'm glad you not only said yes, but proposed back. It would've been embarrassing if you said no." Tori sighs. I give her a mischievous look.

"How do you know I didn't just say yes to make us look good on Ellen but planned to break up with you when we left?" I ask, smirking. Her eyes go wide and she loses a bit of colour in her face.

"Don't even joke." She breathes. I let out a laugh and peck her on the lips, causing her mouth to turn up into a smile again.

"I'm teasing. I wouldn't do that. I proposed back, remember?" I smile. She blushes a bit, a contented look on her face as she remembers.

"Yeah… you did." Tori sighs. Then she gives me a plain look. "Serious question."

"What's that?" I ask, tilting my head to the side.

"We both do that thing where we try to be equal in the relationship… we still can't decide who gets to drive who where, or who gets to pay, and now who gets to propose…" Tori trails off.

"Yes…" I say slowly.

"So, when we get" She smiles a little, "married, are we changing last names, keeping them the same, or what?" Tori asks. I pause for a moment, thinking as I lean back into the couch.

"Maybe… we'll keep them the same for the sake of our careers, since we're already both known as Vega and Valentine… But privately and on paper, maybe we can combine them. You know… Like Cat and Tori Vega-Valentine." I state. I look at her to gauge her reaction and I watch as her face opens up in awe.

"That." She breathes. "Is probably the most incredible last name I have ever heard."

"Agreed." I grin. She swoops me up and kisses me.

"I love you, future Mrs. Vega-Valentine." Tori murmurs into the kiss. I swoon as I kiss her back passionately, and soon my back is resting on the couch with her body draped over me. Her lips trail down my neck and her hands slide up my thighs under my dress, causing me to release a moan. We can always talk more about the wedding later. My fiancé is in need of some loving right now. Wow. Fiancé. That feels amazing to think. Almost as amazing as what her hands are doing right now… and then the doorbell rings. "Ugh." Tori groans, her head dropping down beside mine in frustration.

"Ding dong." I giggle. "That's probably the pizza."

"Yeah, I'll go get it." Tori sighs, pushing herself off me and heading to the door. I sit up slowly and hear her open the door.

"H-hi Miss V-Vega. Are you h-having a nice evening?" I hear our pizza delivery boy at the door. He's a huge fan of Tori and always gets nervous when she opens the door.

"Hi Johnny! Yes, I'm having a lovely evening, thanks." I hear Tori say sweetly.

"G-good! Here's your p-p-pizza!" Johnny exclaims.

"Thanks! Here's a big tip." Tori says.

"Gosh, thanks Miss Vega." Johnny gasps.

"I told you, call me Tori." Tori laughs.

"O-okay. Oh, and, uh… congratulations on your engagement! Tell Cat I say hi!" He exclaims.

"Hello, Johnny!" I call from the couch, poking my head up. "And thank you!"

He looks flustered as he looks between me and Tori, laughing nervously. "Um, I'll leave now. Have a good night!" Johnny rushes out, leaving the door frame.

"Good luck with the rest of your deliveries!" Tori calls after him, chuckling. She closes the door and walks over with the pizza, shaking her head.

"What a cute kid." I giggle.

"I wonder if his friends ever believe that he's our pizza delivery boy." Tori ponders.

"Maybe next time we should give him an autograph." I suggest.

"That's a great idea." Tori states, sitting down and slinging an arm around me. The pizza box falls open on the coffee table and we both take a slice each. "Very romantic dinner." Tori mumbles as she takes a bite.

"Very." I agree, eating my own slice.

"So, another serious question." Tori starts slowly.

"Go on…" I urge.

"Do you… want to invite your parents to the wedding?" Tori asks. I pause, pizza frozen in the air just before my mouth as I think over the question. I hate to admit it… but me and my parents never reconciled. I haven't talked to them in years. "Sorry, was that too heavy?" Tori asks solemnly. I finally bite down on my pizza and take a moment to swallow before I answer.

"No, it's fine. Do… you think I should invite them?" I question cautiously. Tori bites her lip.

"It's up to you, Cat. They're your parents." She sighs.

"Yeah… my parents that I send a Christmas card to every year, but never get anything back. I'd think they were dead if I wasn't in regular contact with my brother." I mumble. Tori gives my shoulder a comforting squeeze. My brother is doing well, by the way. He's been out of the facility and works with film and music videos now. He even did work on one of Tori's music videos. Apparently editing my video for Rent opened up a passion in him that he never felt before. He's still crazy, but he's my brother and we look out for each other. Unlike my parents. "At the same time… I do just want to send out an invitation. Even if they come to protest, at least then I know they still care and acknowledge my existence."

"Okay. So we'll send them an invitation." Tori murmurs, kissing me on the temple before grabbing another slice of pizza.

"Who else should we invite?" I ask. She looks at me with a raised eyebrow and I smile at her. "What? You brought up guests, and we might as well figure out the bare necessities now."

"Well, my family…" Tori starts.

"Even Gary?" I ask.

"Yes, of course Gary." Tori smiles. Her mom and Gary had married two years ago, and Tori had warmed up to him a lot as her step-dad. "Then your brother… my music team… some friends from the cast of Rent and then the current cast of Earning Stripes… Might as well invite Ellen, since she was so involved with the engagement… some of our other celebrity friends… and of course, Beck, Andre and Robbie."

"And Jade!" I huff. Tori rolls her eyes.

"Maybe Jade." Tori states.

"You're still mad at her from the time she found out we're sleeping together, aren't you?" I accuse.

"Scissors have never flown at my face so fast." Tori shudders. "I'm lucky Beck has good reflexes."

"She was just being her overprotective self." I chuckle.

"Yes, by nearly cutting my nose off! You'd think she would've known by then that I'd never hurt you." Tori grumbles.

"I don't think she would be fond of anyone who made me a little less innocent." I smirk.

"You're still pretty innocent. You won't even say vagina." Tori rolls her eyes.

"Oh, shush." I blush, batting her on the shoulder. "Besides, you have no choice in the matter whether we invite Jade or not. She's going to be my Maid of Honour." I state.

"Matron of Honour." Tori corrects. "Her and Beck are getting married next month, remember?"

"Oh yeah." I gasp. "You don't think we're stealing their spotlight by getting engaged now, do you?"

"Nah, Beck is a heart throb actor in an Oscar-winning movie that Jade wrote the script for. Their wedding will get huge coverage." Tori states.

"You're right." I smile. "Think we can get Rex and Robbie to perform a comedy routine at our wedding?"

"Maybe. If we can get him." Tori laughs. "He's been travelling all over doing acts ever since he won America's Got Talent."

"True." I smile. I was so happy for him when he won. I voted for him every day.

"If we can't, maybe I'll throw my sister a bone and let her perform." Tori sighs.

"Hey, Trina runs a very successful class that crosses Taekwondo and Zumba." I argue.

"Yeah, but when I see and talk to her I can tell her heart's still in performing. I feel bad for her." Tori mumbles. I give her a hug.

"Then she can definitely perform at our wedding." I claim, pulling back and giving her a pointed look. "Late into the night when everyone has already had a lot to drink." I joke.

"Mean." Tori smiles. "We don't drink, anyway." It's true. Alcohol is bad for the voice, and seeing as both of our careers depend on our voices, we try not to risk anything.

"Some of our guests will." I smirk. "It's… exciting, you know? Planning the start of a new chapter of our lives."

"Yeah, I know. And we have plenty more chapters to look forward after that. I would say I'm excited to start my life with you… but it's already started. Now we're just making it official, and that makes me more excited than anything." Tori grins.

"So it's _not _just for the elaborate ceremony, the giant party, and expensive vacation in the Bahamas?" I giggle.

"Well, those things are just a bonus." Tori chuckles, then raises her eyebrow. "Bahamas, huh? Not Europe again?"

"Don't remind me. That was a crazy trip." I shudder. Crazy is an understatement, but that trip is a story for another day. "I just mean somewhere relaxing, in the tropics… somewhere private where we can spend some time as newly-weds… alone." I coo, sensually walking my fingers up her arm.

"Mmm, that does sound nice." Tori murmurs, leaning in for a sweet kiss. She moves against me slowly, capturing me around the waist as the kiss slowly deepens. My hand brushes her cheek as her hips rock against mine, and suddenly my hands tangle in her hair. I prop myself up on my knees and push my thigh between her legs, making her moan. She breaks away, breathless. "Okay, screw the pizza. I can't wait anymore." She gasps.

"Me neither." I pant, grabbing the back of her neck and pushing my lips to hers again. Her hands run up my back to the exposed part of skin at my shoulders. She slowly and teasingly tugs the zipper of my dress down, finger nails grazing my skin. I let out a grunt and pull back when I feel the zipper reach the end of its line. "Bedroom?" I request, the material of my dress now hanging slack off my shoulders. She grins at me.

"I thought you were too tired to get off the couch." Tori jokes. I roll my eyes.

"Shut up." I mumble, pushing my lips to hers again and slowly steady ourselves off the couch. I feel Tori chuckle against my lips and I can't help but smile as well. We stumble back but soon figure out that we'll never get to the bedroom at this rate, so I break from her and give her a sultry look as I lick my lips before turning on my heal to stalk off to our room. I could almost see her heart-rate increase at the look I gave her, and I smirk. Once in the bedroom, I turn to see Tori had followed close behind me. Only, along the way she had somehow already tossed her tank top and bra. I grin as I push up to her, my hands running down her shoulders to cup her breasts with both hands and running my thumbs over her hardening, sensitive skin. I attach my lips to her pulse point while doing that, sucking softly.

"Oh, Cat…" Tori moans. She puts her already shaky hands on my waist and pushes me back gently. "Dress." She says plainly. I nod and step back, pulling the dress off, leaving nothing but my bra and underwear on. I push myself up against her again and kiss her earnestly. She moans into my lips and she presses my hips to hers as my nails claw softly down her back. Tori pushes us back until my legs hit the back of our queen-sized bed, and I take a moment to unhook my bra and let it fall off as I fall back onto the bed, bringing Tori with me.

She pulls away from the kiss for moment, pausing. She looks deeply into my eyes with love and affection, gently brushing a strand of my red hair behind my ear. This is what I love about our sex. Yes, the climax is great, but the way that Tori looks at me during it… I can tell it's not just for pleasure. It's for us, and creating a connection that we've never shared with anyone else. Even after our first time and when we healed from our injuries enough, I still struggled for a long time to warm up to the point where she could fully take me. But she was always slow and cautious. It never frustrated her that she couldn't dive right in. It was never about her. Even now, when we could just start right away because I'm comfortable enough after years of making love, she takes these moments to pause and take me in. Sometimes, when we're having sex and she gives me these looks, I can feel all the love she has ever felt and will feel for me. I like to think I can give her the same feeling when I look at her, because it's never about me either. It's always been about each other.

This is one of those moments where I can feel that overwhelming love for me. I smile brightly at her and she smiles back, dipping down to kiss my forehead. She shifts to straddle my hips and slips her mouth down to my ear, nipping it gently. "You're so beautiful." She whispers.

"Tori… You're absolutely radiant." I breathe.

"Mmm." She sighs. She starts to trail her lips down my shoulders and across my collarbone. "I want you to know you're the most important person in the world to me. You know that, right?" She murmurs as she kisses down to my breasts. I let out a deep breath.

"Y-yes." I stutter, feeling the heat rise up in me. I reach my hand over and run my fingers over her scalp. "I don't know what I'd do without you…"

"I want to make you feel good." Tori coos just before latching her lips over my nipples and sucking softly. I let out a sharp gasp as the pleasure fills me.

"G-good job so far." I shudder, and she laughs gently while her teeth apply pressure to the sensitive nub. I moan again and she detaches, kissing down to my side. I smile slightly as she gives attention to a certain area of my skin. An area of slightly raised, scarred skin on my side where I was once stabbed. This is important. Every time Tori and I become intimate, we always take the time to caress each other's scars from the day of the attack. What some might consider ugly and an awful reminder, we consider our marks to be something that shows what we got through, and how we over-came it. Our battle scars. And our battle scars deserve just as much love as the rest of us. That's why Tori is currently running her lips over my two inch scar. That's why I feel the need to give her scar the same treatment.

I bend myself up and touch her shoulders, pushing her up from my side. I give her a pointed look and she gives me a confused one. "What?" Tori asks.

"Why are you still wearing pants?" I sigh. She looks down over my legs at her own, and then looks back up at me, grinning.

"I have no idea." She chuckles. I give her a sheepish look and before she can do anything, I buck my hips up and flip her over onto her back, switching our positions. She looks winded and I smile sweetly at her before moving over top of her.

"We'll have to fix that." I murmur, biting down on her neck.

"O-okay." Tori groans, and I can picture her eyes rolling back. I giggle as I pull away and shuffle her sweatpants off, exposing her legs and the long, thin scar across her left thigh. The scar where a metal rod had sliced through to crack my poor Tori's femur, causing her great pain. I run my finger gently over it, biting my lip.

"I love you." I mutter.

"I love you, too." She sighs.

"Thank you for protecting me." I say as I move down to kiss her scar.

"You would do the same for me." Tori states softly.

"In a heartbeat." I agree, continuing to kiss her scar. The good thing about this scar… is that it's near a very fun place. I graze my fingers up her inner thigh and rest my knuckles against her soft, slightly wet area between her legs. I drag my knuckles down across the front of her underwear gently.

"Oh." Tori gasps.

"I bet that feels nice." I mumble, sliding my mouth up from her scar to bite her panty line.

"Ye-yeaaah." Tori moans.

"Want more?" I coo, looking up at her an smiling. Her breasts are heaving from intense sensations I'm making her feel. Can't forget about those.

"Oh god yes." Tori groans. I bite my smile. I love giving Tori what she wants, but sometimes it's fun to tease her. I lean up over her, still gently caressing over her centre. I can feel her hips twitching. I run my tongue over her nipple, causing her breath to hitch. "C-at." She moans.

"Tori, sweetheart… remember when you proposed to me… the way you said my name in that sexy accent of yours?" I mumble, running my tongue over her peak again.

"M…mhm." She shudders.

"Can you say it like that again? Pretty please…" I smile sweetly at her before gently nipping at her other breast.

"C-Caterina." Tori whimpers. Oh yeah, that's sexy. I push my hand up against her, rubbing a little bit more firmly. A string of moans releases from her lips and I grin, moving my own lips up to her neck.

"One more time." I request quietly against her neck.

"_Caterina_." She moans, hips rocking against my hand. "_Caterina, _please!"

"Yes, love." I smile, giving her a deep kiss on the mouth. She tries to return it, but her lips are trembling too much and her breath is coming in at shaky gasps. I can feel her through her underwear. She's ready. "Tori Vega." I say seductively in my own accent, slipping my hand under her panties to meet the soft, wet flesh.

"Oh, oh god." Tori moans. "Oh you're amazing."

"So are you." I coo. I remove my hand from her for just a second so I can take off the only material covering her body right now. Well, other than her ring. But there's no way I'm removing that. I work at her with my hand, flicking and rubbing and teasing. She gasps and starts to writhe beautifully. Another thing I love about our sex? No matter how much we do it, I can always find a new way to make her writhe. And she does the same for me.

"C-Cat." Tori barely gasps out, pushing herself up on her elbows. My fingers run over her entrance, almost pushing inside. She lets out a whimper but tries to hold it in, obviously trying to get something else out. I give her a questioning look.

"What is it, Tori? Are you comfortable?" I ask gently. It's always good to check in, no matter how familiar we are with each other's bodies.

"I'm… wonderful." Tori breathes. "But I'm just wondering… why _you _still have underwear on."

I start to giggle, easing my fingers in a little bit more. Her head hangs back, letting out a gasp. "I have no idea." I murmur. "Should we fix that, too?" I ask. With a surprising, sudden movement, Tori pulls her back up against the headboard and yanks my hips towards her. My hand falls away from her.

"Oh yes." Tori growls. Annnd she just got sexier. She kisses my collarbone as she pulls down the thin material and I shuffle them off. As soon as they're off, Tori runs her hands over my breasts, kneading into my peaks to warm me up. Now it's my turn to throw my head back in pleasure. "Cat… touch me." Tori begs. I gather myself and nod, moving my hand back to slip inside of her. She cries out and applies more pressure to my nipples, causing me to cry out as well. I'm already aching for her.

I twist around, finding the spots that she loves and I watch as her face contorts into looks of pleasure. She lets tiny gasps and whimpers out every time I hit the right spot, which is often. She looks into my eyes, breathing and shaking. And, oh, she loves me so much. And I love that I can do this to her, I love that I can be the woman for her that she deserves. And I strive to be better for her every day. And – oh, I love what she's doing with her leg right now.

She had somehow grinded her thigh up into me. Did I mention when she does this, the ripples of her scar make it feel even better? Her eyes have shut tight now, no longer able to focus on anything as the pleasure build overtakes her. Her leg twitches and shakes even faster making my pleasure build as well. I bite my lip and bury my face into her neck, breathing deeply. I feel her getting close, with her muscles tightening around my fingers. I pump my hand faster and I find it harder and hard to control my thoughts and movements as I reach the peak of my pleasure.

Tori reaches it first, her head hanging back and back arching as everything tenses and pulses at the same time. I follow her soon after, trembling against her before I collapse against her limp body. My arms snake around her waist.

"Tori…" I breathe after a while.

"Yes, Cat?" Tori murmurs into my hair. I bite my lip, hesitant.

"I want more." I admit. Tori pauses for a moment, then she rolls me off her and pins me down on the bed. She smiles down at me.

"I can give you more." She coos, sliding her hand down to reach my pleasure point. Here's a secret about me. Because of Derek, I've never been a big fan of penetration. Usually Tori just focuses on the outside with grinding and rubbing, and usually that's more than enough. But sometimes I see what it does to Tori, and I crave to feel what she feels. Tori's learned when I'm ready for it, and this is one of those times.

She builds me up again slowly with the usual rubbing and stroking, and once I'm moaning for her again she moves in on me like I do for her. She slips inside, and she's done this enough so that she knows what gets to me, and how to be careful that she doesn't go too far. It doesn't take long. My pleasure build again and I'm already tensing and shaking, thrusting up into her hand. She kisses my jaw line and I cry out one more time before my head fills with the fuzzy light feeling of pleasure, the pressure about to blow its top for the second time that night. I clutch her back as my legs wrap around her, and with one more thrust I lose it, utterly consumed by my climax. It's exhausting the first time, but the second time literally makes me feel like jelly and I'm almost certain I'll never be able to move again. Which is fine. I mean, I'm lying naked in bed with my gorgeous fiancé who has removed her fingers from me and is now resting her head on my shoulder looking at me with doting eyes. Why would I ever want to move?

Of course, along with the doting look, she also has a smug look on her face. I weakly turn my head to her, still trying to catch my breath after about ten minutes. "Are you… proud of yourself?" I pant, smiling. She flashes her teeth in a grin.

"A little bit. Can you blame me? Sometimes it's hard to get you to reach that point once, let alone twice." Tori argues sweetly.

"Must be the new addition." I murmur, lazily twisting her engagement ring around her finger. "And hey, you aren't the easiest at times, either." I chuckle.

"But we always seem to go to sleep satisfied." She sighs, cuddling up into my neck.

"We're good." I smile.

"Hell yeah." Tori grins, kissing my collarbone softly. "Speaking of sleep, we should do that now. You have a long rehearsal tomorrow."

"Kay, kay… Goodnight, future Mrs. Vega-Valentine." I sigh. She chuckles gently and then lets out a yawn.

"See you in the morning, future Mrs. Vega-Valentine."

It doesn't take me long to fall asleep. It also doesn't take long for that falling feeling to jolt me awake.

* * *

I'm lying in my room at my parents' house, head still buried in the sheets of my bed. My comforter is still wet from my tears of crying over Tori. That's right, we had just gotten back from laser tag, and it was another day that Tori didn't return my feelings.

Man, what a vivid dream.

I take a minute to try and remember it. It involved Tori, I know that much… But it also involved some awful, _awful _things. First of all, that guy Derek that I met at laser tag… he ends up raping me and caused some serious damage to my life. On top of that, I ended up buried alive in an earthquake, nearly killed by a mountain lion, was beaten to the point of unconsciousness by some street thugs and then my parents disowned me. If I look at it that way, the dream was a nightmare.

But it had its good parts, too. Parts that made my heart swell up. Tori and I were in love. She was my crutch and I was hers when she went through rough times. And most of the time, we spent the rough times together, supporting each other through it. And then it wasn't always bad. There were some really happy times, and _really _great sex. We were starting our lives together, had great careers lined up. I mean, really, it seemed almost too good to be true…

It _had _to be true. There's no way that that was just a dream. **There's no way. **

I jump up from my bed and start pacing frantically, trying to find some sort of sign that it was all real. I pinched myself, I shook myself rigorously, ANYTHING to get me back to the reality where Tori and I are together. Once upon a time, I just wanted to fall out of my feelings with Tori, the same way I would fall out of a dream and into reality. But if this is reality, I don't want it. I want to feel these things for Tori. I want to feel them _with _her. Even if it meant going through all those bad things again and again, I would do it for Tori. I need her, and she needs me. Through all the falling-outs of life, even through all my falling-outs with Tori… I do _not _want to fall out of that if it means I live a life without Tori. Let me fall back in love with her, please…

"Tori…" I whimper. "Tori, please. Please, get me out of this." I cry. "Tori! I love you! I need you! I need you in my life no matter what! Through everything, I need you! You're worth everything to me! Tori! **Tori!**"

"Cat!" Her voice rings out, and I'm falling out of the dream once again.

* * *

"Cat, Cat wake up." Tori whispers frantically, shaking me. My eyes pop open and I sit up straight, gasping for air. The sobs start to choke me and I feel Tori's arms wrap around me, holding me close against her. I look around, and I'm in our New York apartment once again. I'm not in my room from when I was a teenager. I turn slowly to the woman holding me. She's giving me a concerned look and I touch her cheek tentatively.

"Tori?" I whimper. She takes my hand on her cheek, squeezing it tightly.

"You must've had a really bad dream… Are you okay? Was it about Derek?" She asks softly. A dream… a bad dream. It's making sense now. Of course this all wasn't a dream. I was stupid to think it ever was. Stupid subconscious, making me think what I had with Tori wasn't real… I choke out another sob, only now it's from being overjoyed that Tori's still in my life. I wrap my arms around her neck and snuggle myself into her. "I know he's going to be released in a few years and you must be worried…"

"No. It wasn't about Derek. It was worse." I mutter. If that dream served any purpose, it was to show me that not having Tori in my life was literally my worst nightmare. As if I didn't know that before.

"Want to talk about it?" Tori murmurs into my ear before kissing it gently. I let out a deep breath.

"I woke up and I was back at my parents' place, and none of this had ever happened, as if it wasn't real." I choke out.

"Oh, honey…" Tori breathes, squeezing me tight. She pulls back and reaches her left hand to hold my left hand. She holds them up in front of our faces, our rings gleaming together. "See this? This is real. It's all real." She assures me.

"I know." I sniff. "You made me fall out of the bad dream. This is where I want to be, with you, even after everything that happened… at least I have you, and that's more than enough."

"Cat… I'll always be here to pull you out of the bad stuff. I promise. That's what these mean." Tori whispers, referring to the rings.

"Thank you, Tori… I love you so much." I sigh, releasing our hands and hugging her again.

"I love you, too. And you know what?" Tori asks.

"What?" I say, pulling back and looking at her with curiosity. She smiles at me sweetly.

"I'll never fall out of that with you."

* * *

**Author's Notes: ... I have the biggest lump in my throat right now. I can't believe this is happening. Oh god. Okay. Breathe. I'm good. This'll be a longer Author's Note than usual since it's the last... one... I'M NOT OKAY. **

**So a few things, how many of you did I trick there with Cat waking up in her bedroom? Did any of you throw your computer at the wall? Hehe, don't worry, this isn't an Inception kind of thing where you wonder which is true or not. The flashback to Cat's bedroom after laser tag was just a bad dream. The rest is real. Also, I tried to do Ellen justice, but really... A lot of her humour comes from her delivery. Just try to read the lines in her voice and maybe it'll be funny. Maybe. **

**Time to talk about the future. I'M DONE FOREVER just kidding. If any of you were wondering, I do have an idea for a sort of sequel/midquel for Falling-Out... You know, something that goes more in depth into the five year jump between their graduation and their engagement. Would anyone be interested in that? Also, it would be written from Tori's perspective. I like the idea of finally seeing what's gong on in Tori's brain after seeing Cat's side of things for so long. Buuuut that'll have to wait. You know why? I have a BRAND NEW CORI STORY that I'm going to be working on. I love the idea I have for it, and I've been looking forward to writing it forever but I refused to write it until Falling-Out was done. Frankly, I'm so excited about this new story that I was afraid I would just leave Falling-Out behind. Nobody would've wanted that. I love Falling-Out, too. I have no idea when the new story will be released. It's too bad I don't have some way to communicate to you what's going on... **

**Hey look, I have a Twitter: WaitwhathuhFF**

**That's right, and I'll be updating you about how the writing process is going, giving some hints about what it'll be about, letting you know when chapters will be released, giving updates on my incredibly dull life, as well as other fun things. So, follow it if you want! Would it hurt? **

**I have to take a moment to thank somebody. She has another story on here as well... you may be reading it right now, who knows? The penname is SinkingShips11, and we had a really awkward situation where we both released stories about sexual assault at the same time... So obviously we got to talking about it, and pretty soon we were bouncing ideas and giving each other moral support as each chapter was posted. It really helped having a friend on here, so thank you very much! Falling-Out probably wouldn't have been completed without you!**

**Final Fun Fact: The Earning Stripes plot was based on a very _very _vivid dream I had years ago. It was like a movie... or a Broadway show. One day, maybe? **

**Okay, I'm going to sleep now, and then when I wake up I'm going to finally read this story from start to finish and probably bawl my eyes out. Yaaay! Goodbye, everyone. See you somewhere down the line. Oh, and for the record... even if you're reading this five years from when it was completed and you liked it, you should still leave a review. I'm sure it'll still warm my heart, like they always have. **


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